By Joanne, South Korea

One day a couple of church leaders raised an issue with me. They said Isabella, who was in charge of the gospel work, wasn’t principled in her actions and that she didn’t discuss things with church leaders. They said that she just randomly reassigned people to share the gospel, impacting the work that brothers and sisters were dealing with at the time and disrupting church work. Without a moment’s reflection I said, “Isabella must have changed people’s duties around to meet work needs.” One of the leaders said, “Isabella lacks caliber and isn’t competent in her job. Staffing arrangements aren’t being done properly and the others aren’t happy about it. It has put some people into a negative state and impacted our gospel work. Isn’t she unfit for managing this work?” I felt really annoyed when I heard that they wanted her replaced, and I replied, “What? If Isabella isn’t in charge of the gospel work, are you going to be able to find anyone better? Do we have anyone suitable? These issues you mention are definitely present, but they’re nothing too critical. She gets results in gospel work—we can’t dismiss her over such minor things! We need to safeguard the church’s work.” As I refuted the church leaders, I was thinking that they were nitpicking, and that no one is perfect. We’re all corrupt and flawed, so is it right to criticize someone for not getting everything exactly right? Why wouldn’t they put work results first? What if we dismissed her and the results of the gospel work slipped? That might make me look like I couldn’t do actual work, like a false leader. Then what would the others think of me? And would our senior leader replace me when he found out? The two church leaders I was talking with were taken aback by my response. Finally, one of them said, “Well, let’s keep her in place for now.” A few days later, the senior leader got in touch with me and asked me how Isabella was doing in her duty. I said, “She’s doing okay. She’s accomplishing some things in her work, and really gets things done.” Then the leader asked me, “So what are these accomplishments you mention? Have you examined in detail how many people she’s actually gained through gospel work? Do you know she’s been padding her numbers? Her caliber is low and she lacks ability. She can’t resolve problems. Are you aware of that? Do you know that she’s been assigning people without observing principles, disrupting the gospel work?” Facing one question after another, my heart was pounding and my mind went blank. Seeing I couldn’t answer a single question, the leader went on: “You’re very convinced that you’re in the right! People who are like that lack self-awareness. If you really knew yourself, why wouldn’t you rebel against yourself? Why wouldn’t you deny yourself? Other people have clearly raised this issue, but you haven’t accepted it. Quite arrogant, wouldn’t you say? Do you have the truth reality? Someone who genuinely has the truth reality doesn’t believe they are always right. They are able to listen when other people are right. They can accept and submit to the truth. That’s someone with normal humanity. But how about the kind of person who’s incredibly arrogant? Can they accept the truth? People who are arrogant don’t accept the truth and won’t ever submit to the truth. They don’t know themselves, they’re unable to rebel against themselves, and they really can’t put the truth into practice or uphold the truth principles. They can’t get along with others. They are people whose dispositions haven’t changed. From all this we can see that arrogant people are unreconstructed old Satans. You need to reflect on whether you’re that kind of person.” I was stunned at the time, and afterward I just sat there, going over in my mind what he’d said: They don’t accept the truth, they won’t ever submit to the truth, they can’t get along with others, their dispositions haven’t changed, and they are unreconstructed old Satans. The more I thought about this the worse I felt, and my tears flowed freely. In my pain, I prayed through the tears, “Oh God! I never thought I was the kind of person who was arrogant, and who wouldn’t accept the truth. Please guide me to self-reflect and know myself.”

Then one day in my devotionals, I read this in God’s words: “Arrogance is the root of man’s corrupt disposition. The more arrogant people are, the more unreasonable they are, and the more unreasonable they are, the more liable they are to resist God. How serious is this problem? Not only do people with an arrogant disposition consider everyone else beneath them, but, worst of all, they are even condescending toward God, and they have no God-fearing hearts. Even though people might appear to believe in God and follow Him, they do not treat Him as God at all. They always feel that they possess the truth and think the world of themselves. This is the essence and root of the arrogant disposition, and it comes from Satan. Therefore, the problem of arrogance must be resolved. Feeling that one is better than others—that is a trivial matter. The critical issue is that one’s arrogant disposition prevents one from submitting to God, His sovereignty, and His arrangements; such a person always feels inclined to compete with God for power and control others. This sort of person does not have a God-fearing heart in the slightest, to say nothing of loving God or submitting to Him. People who are arrogant and conceited, especially those who are so arrogant as to have lost their reason, cannot submit to God in their belief in Him, and even exalt and bear testimony for themselves. Such people resist God the most and have absolutely no God-fearing hearts. If people wish to get to where they have God-fearing hearts, then they must first resolve their arrogant disposition. The more thoroughly you resolve your arrogant disposition, the more you will have a God-fearing heart, and only then can you submit to Him and obtain the truth and know Him. Only those who gain the truth are genuinely human” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words were pretty enlightening for me. It’s true. Arrogance is the root of corruption. Being arrogant, I considered myself better than others, and even worse than that, I was blind to God. When issues arose I didn’t come before God and seek His intention, nor did I seek the truth principles, but imperiously demanded that everyone listen to me. I thought back on the church leaders’ feedback to me on Isabella’s issues. I refuted everything that they said without giving it any thought. They said Isabella was unprincipled, that she randomly reassigned people without talking to church leaders, disrupting things to the point that people didn’t know what duty they should do. I was entirely in denial about this issue and wouldn’t listen at all. I totally defended Isabella, saying she acted that way because the gospel work urgently needed people, and that it was called for. The church leaders said she was of low caliber and lacked ability for the job, and wasn’t suited for managing our gospel work. I didn’t find out about the actual situation or consider whether she should be dismissed based on principle. Instead, I pushed back and got annoyed. I queried why Isabella shouldn’t be in charge, and asked the church leaders if they could find a better supervisor than her, and in this way I browbeat them into silence. By raising this issue, the church leaders were being responsible and upholding the church’s work, yet I felt throughout that I understood the truth better than them. I felt that I had more insight while they had only a shallow understanding of the truth and weren’t seeing things correctly, and so I didn’t need to listen to them. How arrogant and imperious! I dug my heels in, refusing to accept the truth—not even a single correct statement. I refuted every single thing they said, arguing until they stopped expressing their opinions. I was arrogant beyond all reason and didn’t have a God-fearing heart at all. I wasn’t using people according to principle and had already hurt the work of the church. Not only did I fail to acknowledge my mistakes, but I lashed out instead, accusing the church leaders of fault-finding and treating Isabella unfairly. Wasn’t I just an unreconstructed old Satan whose disposition had not undergone the least transformation? How could I get along normally with other people and cooperate harmoniously? I felt really bad when I thought about it that way, and I prayed to God, willing to repent and promptly get a grip on the situation with Isabella. After actually looking into things, I learned that Isabella was being deceptive in her reporting and making a hash of things, and that lots of new believers weren’t attending gatherings because she hadn’t assigned waterers. Isabella’s caliber was low to begin with, but she was also arrogant and dictatorial, and didn’t discuss her work with anyone. When problems cropped up she couldn’t resolve them and didn’t take others’ suggestions, so lots of issues weren’t addressed for a long time, hindering the progress of gospel work. In the face of these facts I finally acknowledged I’d chosen the wrong person. When the church leaders suggested replacing her I disagreed and I browbeat them into submission. The more I thought about this the worse I felt, hating myself for being so arrogant and for always assuming I was in the right. I came before God in prayer, asking Him to guide me to understand the essence of my problem.

Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words that addressed my issue of arrogance. Almighty God says: “Being arrogant and self-righteous is man’s most conspicuous satanic disposition, and if people do not accept the truth, they will have no way of cleansing it. People all have arrogant and self-righteous dispositions, and they are always conceited. No matter what they think, or what they say, or how they see things, they always think that their own points of view and their own attitudes are correct, and that what others say is not as good or as right as what they say. They always cling to their own opinions, and no matter who speaks, they will not listen to them. Even if what someone else says is correct, or in line with the truth, they will not accept it; they will only appear to be listening but they will not really adopt the idea, and when it comes time to act, they will still do things their own way, always thinking that what they say is right and reasonable. It is possible that what you say is, indeed, right and reasonable, or that what you have done is right and faultless, but what kind of disposition have you revealed? Is it not one of arrogance and self-righteousness? If you do not cast off this arrogant and self-righteous disposition, will it not affect your performance of your duty? Will it not affect your practice of the truth? If you do not resolve your arrogant and self-righteous disposition, will it not cause you serious setbacks in the future? You will definitely experience setbacks, this is inevitable. Tell Me, can God see such behavior of man? God is more than able to see it! God not only scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts, He also observes their every word and deed at all times and places. What will God say when He sees this behavior of yours? God will say: ‘You are intransigent! It’s understandable that you might cling to your own ideas when you do not know that you are mistaken, but when you clearly know that you are mistaken and you still cling to your ideas, and would die before repenting, you are just a stubborn fool, and you are in trouble. If, no matter who makes a suggestion, you always adopt a negative, resistant attitude toward it, and do not accept even a little bit of the truth, and if your heart is completely resistant, closed, and dismissive, then you are so ridiculous, you are an absurd person! You are too difficult to deal with!’ In what way are you difficult to deal with? You are difficult to deal with because what you are displaying is not an erroneous approach, or an erroneous behavior, but a revelation of your disposition. A revelation of what disposition? A disposition in which you are averse to the truth, and hate the truth. Once you have been identified as a person who hates the truth, in God’s eyes you are in trouble, and He will spurn and ignore you. From people’s perspective, the most they will say is: ‘This person’s disposition is bad, they are incredibly obstinate, intransigent, and arrogant! This person is hard to get along with and does not love the truth. They have never accepted the truth and they do not put the truth into practice.’ At the most, everyone will give you this appraisal, but can this appraisal decide your fate? The appraisal that people give you cannot decide your fate, but there is one thing that you must not forget: God scrutinizes people’s hearts, and at the same time God observes their every word and deed. If God defines you in this way, and says that you hate the truth, if He does not merely say that you have a bit of a corrupt disposition, or that you are a little disobedient, is this not a very serious problem? (It is serious.) This means trouble, and this trouble does not lie in the way that people see you, or how they appraise you, it lies in how God views your corrupt disposition of hating the truth. So, how does God view it? Has God merely determined that you hate and do not love the truth, and that is all? Is it that simple? Where does the truth come from? Who does the truth represent? (It represents God.) Ponder on this: If a person hates the truth, then from God’s perspective, how will He view them? (As His enemy.) Is this not a serious problem? When a person hates the truth, they hate God!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Often Living Before God Can One Have a Normal Relationship With Him). The revelation of God’s words had a big impact on me. I saw the ugly corruption of my arrogance. A couple of sisters had offered some suggestions about someone I’d selected, but I simply didn’t accept it—because I felt I was in the right. I didn’t even give them a chance to talk, just kept on chiding and browbeating them. I said so many arrogant things, until they had to back off. That wasn’t simply an error in my approach and behavior. It came from the satanic disposition of being averse to and hating the truth. I felt revolted—it was like swallowing something really disgusting—when I thought about the way I’d spoken and acted when pushing back against those leaders. I felt incredibly ashamed, like a wretched fool. In God’s eyes, being averse to and hating the truth is hating God and being His enemy, and all enemies of God are devils and Satans. The senior leader was absolutely correct in exposing me as an unreconstructed old Satan. That’s my nature essence. Facing issues with resistance and denial; not accepting the truth; doing my duty in accordance with my corrupt, satanic disposition. How could this not amount to resisting God, and how could I not be pruned for it? At that point I realized that being pruned in that way was God’s righteousness. Although being exposed and pruned wounded my pride and was hard for me, it helped me to see my arrogant nature, and it gave me a bit of a God-fearing heart.

Later, I read more of God’s words that gave me a better understanding of and discernment about my state. Almighty God says: “No matter what it is they’re doing, antichrists always have their own aims and intentions, they are always acting according to their own plan, and their attitude toward the arrangements and work of the house of God is, ‘You may have a thousand plans, but I have one rule’; this is all determined by the nature of antichrists. Can antichrists change their mentality and act according to the truth principles? That would be absolutely impossible, unless the Above directly demands them to do so, in which case they will be able to reluctantly do a bit, out of necessity. If they did nothing at all, they would be exposed and dismissed. It is only under these circumstances that they are able to do a bit of real work. This is the attitude that antichrists have toward doing duties; this is also the attitude they have toward practicing the truth: When practicing the truth is beneficial to them, when everyone will approve of them and admire them for it, they are sure to oblige, and make some token efforts that appear just about acceptable to others. If practicing the truth is of no benefit to them, if no one sees it, and the superior leaders don’t see it, then at such times there is no question of them practicing the truth. Their practicing of the truth depends on the context and situation, and they consider how they can do this in a way that will be visible to others, and how great the benefits will be; they have an ingenious grasp of these things, and they can adapt to different situations. They are at all times considering their own fame, gain and status, and not showing any consideration whatsoever for the intentions of God, and in this they fall short of practicing the truth and upholding the principles. Antichrists only pay attention to their own fame, gain, status, personal interests, and their not gaining any benefit or putting themselves on display is unacceptable, and the practice of the truth is troublesome for them. If their efforts are not recognized, and even if they are working before others their work is not seen, then they won’t practice any truth at all. If the work is arranged directly by the house of God, and they have no choice but to do it, still they take into consideration whether this will benefit their status and reputation. If it is good for their status and can improve their reputation, they put everything they have into this work and make a good job of it; they feel they are killing two birds with one stone. If it is of no benefit to their fame, gain, and status, and doing it badly could discredit them, they think of a way or excuse to get out of it. No matter what duty antichrists perform, they always stick to the same principle: They must make some gain in terms of reputation, status, or their interests, and they must not incur any losses. The kind of work antichrists like most is when they don’t have to suffer or pay any price, and there is a benefit to their reputation and status. In sum, no matter what they’re doing, antichrists first consider their own interests, and they only act once they’ve thought it all out; they do not truly, sincerely, and absolutely submit to the truth without compromise, but do so selectively and conditionally. What condition is this? It is that their status and reputation must be safeguarded, and must not suffer any loss. Only after this condition is satisfied will they decide and choose what to do. That is, antichrists give serious consideration to how to treat the truth principles, God’s commissions, and the work of God’s house, or how to deal with the things they face. They do not consider how to satisfy God’s intentions, how to keep from damaging the interests of God’s house, how to satisfy God, or how to benefit the brothers and sisters; these are not the things they consider. What do antichrists consider? Whether their own status and reputation will be affected, and whether their prestige will be lowered. If doing something according to the truth principles benefits the work of the church and the brothers and sisters, but would cause their own reputation to suffer and cause many people to realize their true stature and know what sort of nature essence they have, then they will definitely not act in accordance with the truth principles. If doing some real work will cause more people to think highly of them, look up to them and admire them, allow them to gain even greater prestige, or enable their words to carry authority and make more people submit to them, then they will choose to do it that way; otherwise, they will never choose to disregard their own interests out of consideration for the interests of God’s house or of the brothers and sisters. This is the nature essence of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). God’s words showed me that resisting and getting annoyed when others mentioned Isabella’s issues, and not agreeing to replace her, wasn’t just because of an arrogant disposition. Hidden behind that were my selfish, vile motives. I refused to accept those two leaders’ suggestions just so that I could protect my standing in the church. But they were right about Isabella’s issues. She wasn’t well-suited to be a supervisor and was already hindering our gospel work. I should have dismissed her right away, but instead I found all kinds of reasons for blocking that course of action so I could maintain my status. As a result, the two church leaders didn’t know how to arrange things suitably, and this further impeded our gospel work. My arrogance, my failure to uphold the work of the church, and my prioritizing of my own personal status all had an impact on our gospel work and on the entry into life of the brothers and sisters. I was disrupting the work of the church. I paid lip service to upholding the work of the church, but in fact, it was all about upholding my own status. As long as I could protect my standing in the church, even if someone I’d selected had issues and the church’s work was being hindered, I turned a blind eye. I was ready to see the church’s interests suffer if it meant I could protect my own status. Isn’t that antichrist behavior? Through the judgment and revelation of God’s words I saw my anti-God nature essence, and clearly saw my own vile motives. At that point I felt kind of afraid, and was willing to repent to God, to stop doing evil and resisting Him out of arrogance.

In my devotionals once, I read a passage of God’s words. Almighty God says: “When other people voice dissenting opinions, how can you practice in order to keep from being arbitrary and rash? You must first have an attitude of humility, set aside what you believe to be right, and let everyone fellowship. Even if you believe your way to be correct, you should not keep insisting on it. That is a kind of step forward; it shows an attitude of seeking the truth, of denying yourself, and of satisfying God’s intentions. Once you have this attitude, at the same time as not adhering to your own opinions, you should pray, seek the truth from God, and then look for a basis in God’s words—determine how to act based on God’s words. This is the most suitable and accurate practice. When you seek the truth and hold up a problem for everyone to fellowship and seek on together, that is when the Holy Spirit provides enlightenment. God enlightens people according to principles, He takes stock of their attitude. If you stubbornly stick to your guns regardless of whether your view is right or wrong, God will hide His face from you and ignore you; He will make you hit a wall to reveal you and expose your ugly state. If, on the other hand, your attitude is correct, neither insistent on your own way, nor self-righteous, nor arbitrary and rash, but an attitude of seeking and of accepting the truth, if you fellowship with everyone, then the Holy Spirit will begin to work among you, and perhaps He will lead you to understanding by means of someone’s words. Sometimes, when the Holy Spirit enlightens you, He leads you to understand the crux of a matter with just a few words or phrases, or by giving you an idea. You realize, in that instant, that whatever you have been clinging to is erroneous, and, in the same instant, you understand the most appropriate way to act. Having reached such a level, have you not successfully avoided doing evil, and at the same time avoided bearing the consequences of a mistake? Is this not God’s protection? (Yes.) How is such a thing achieved? This is only attained when you have a God-fearing heart, and when you seek the truth with a heart of submission. Once you have received the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit and determined the principles of practice, your practice will be in line with the truth, and you will be able to satisfy God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words gave me a path of practice. To not commit evil in my duty or disrupt the work of the church, what’s key is having a truth-seeking attitude when issues crop up and a God-fearing heart, and being able to cooperate with others, and, when I encounter different opinions, to put myself aside, pray, and seek. That’s the only way to gain the work of the Holy Spirit, do things correctly, and minimize errors. Understanding this was enlightening for me, and I knew how to proceed. I dismissed Isabella after that, and a new supervisor was selected. After a little while, the gospel work noticeably improved. I felt even more remorseful when I saw these results. I was disgusted with my earlier arrogance, and how I’d willfully kept Isabella in place, disrupting the work of the church and committing a transgression. I said a prayer that I was ready to seek the truth in all things, no longer acting in my old imperious ways and living with such an arrogant disposition.

Before too long I encountered another situation. In a work discussion with several gospel deacons, I made some suggestions which were promptly dismissed by everyone else. I was feeling a little humiliated and was wondering if what I had said was totally off base. Was everything the others said right? What would the others think of me, as a leader, if my views were completely rejected? They’d certainly think I didn’t understand the truth and lacked reality. Would they listen to me after that? Would I still have the prestige of a leader in people’s eyes? At this thought, I again had the urge to refute what others had said so that I could keep face. Then I felt really guilty, realizing that I wasn’t in the right state. I silently prayed to God, “Oh God, I know they’re right, but I feel my pride is wounded and I want to protect my standing again. Please watch over me and help me accept my brothers’ and sisters’ correct suggestions, following the truth principles and not living in my corruption.” I read these words from God after my prayer: “One must discuss everything they do with others. Listen first to what everyone else has to say. If the majority view is right and accords with the truth, you should accept it and obey it. Whatever you do, do not spout high-sounding views. Doing so is never a good thing, in any group of people. … You should often fellowship with others, making suggestions and expressing your own views—this is your duty and your freedom. But in the end, when a decision is to be made, if it is you alone who makes the final verdict, having everyone do as you say and go along with your will, then you are violating the principles. … If nothing is clear to you and you have no opinion, learn to listen and obey, and to seek the truth. This is the duty you should perform; this is a well-behaved attitude. If you have no opinions of your own and are always afraid of looking foolish, of not being able to distinguish yourself, and of being humiliated—if you fear being disdained by the others and having no place in their hearts, and so you always try to force yourself into the spotlight and always want to spout high-sounding ideas, putting forward some absurd assertions that do not correspond with reality, which you would have others accept—are you performing your duty? (No.) What are you doing? You are being destructive” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words were enlightening. Fellowshiping with others and expressing opinions and suggestions were part of my duty and my responsibilities, but getting everyone to do what I wanted and listen to me was just arrogance. In work discussions, everyone has the right to express their opinion, and we should go with what is in line with the truth principles and benefits the work of the church. That’s a truth-accepting attitude. After that I started focusing on practicing the truth, and when different opinions came up in work discussions, I’d inquire further into people’s ideas to reach a consensus that we could then implement. I remember once, I finished doing something on my own and I felt a little uneasy. Through prayer and reflection, I realized that I hadn’t spoken with my partners to reach a consensus, and that wasn’t the right approach. I opened up to everyone in fellowship that I was arrogant, that I hadn’t discussed things before making a decision, and that I’d been unreasonable in this respect. I said that I’d change and stop doing things in that way. I also asked everyone to help monitor me. I felt that putting myself aside in this way, and practicing the truth, brought me peace of mind.

I practiced doing that in the next few work discussions and found that I was handling things better, without any particular problems coming up. I was so grateful to God. Through this I experienced that by not being arrogant in a duty and cooperating well with others, you can gain the Holy Spirit’s work and you’re more likely to get things done. Now I have some understanding of my arrogant corrupt disposition. I can practice the truth and I’ve changed a bit. This is the fruit of God’s words.