By Li Yican, China

In November of 2021, I was elected as a church leader. At the outset, I thought doing this duty would allow me to practice using the truth to resolve problems, which would accelerate my life growth. Although there was much that I lacked, I was willing to accept and obey. After a period of actual training, I realized that church leaders were in charge of quite a lot of work tasks. Not only did leaders have to watch over church life as well as watering and gospel work, they were also involved in tasks such as text-based work and the work of cleansing the church. During my first week, almost every day I was fellowshipping and resolving the states of brothers and sisters at various gathering places while also arranging and implementing all the tasks. I was up to my neck in work. When I went home at night, I still had some letters to deal with, and I thought that doing this duty was too tiring. When was I going to get a break? Not only was I physically exhausted, but there were all sorts of difficulties and problems in the work, and I had to endure work-related stress. At the time, the sister I was partnered with was tied up in family affairs, so there was a lot of work that she couldn’t help me with handling. I was often unable to take care of everything on my own, and gradually, the gospel spreaders, the waterers, and the brothers and sisters in charge of article writing all said that they seldom saw the leaders and couldn’t communicate about the work. They were all dissatisfied with me. I thought of all the different tasks I had to attend to; it all required so much time and energy. So, I was extremely envious of the brothers and sisters doing single-item duties who didn’t need to exhaust themselves and worry so much like I did. Thinking of this, I became less proactive in my duty than I’d been in the beginning, and sometimes, when the upper-level leaders asked me to report on how the implementation of the work was going, I didn’t reply proactively.

One day, the upper-level leader sent me a letter saying that a technician was needed for a certain task, someone with basic computer skills and aesthetic judgment. On the inside, I was eager to take action, and I thought to myself, “I’ve made videos before and I’ve got some computer skills. What’s more, doing a single-item duty would allow me to focus on one profession. I’d be able to learn new things, and it wouldn’t be as tiring or worrisome as being a leader.” So, I planned to write to the upper-level leaders and tell them that my caliber and working ability were poor and I wasn’t fit to do leadership duties. At that time, I was aware that my state wasn’t right. I thought of how, when I ran into difficulties while making videos, I didn’t properly pay a price and study the professional skills. When I saw there was another duty that didn’t have many professional requirements, I applied to the leader to have my duty changed. After I was reassigned, the new duty didn’t have such great difficulties at first, and when I saw results, I was energetic in my work. However, it became more demanding later on, and I began to encounter more difficulties. I was unwilling to pay a price and overcome these difficulties, and again I wanted to change to a different duty. In the end, I was reassigned due to poor results in my duty. Now that I was doing leadership duties, how come I still wanted to change my duty when facing difficulties? This kind of state already affected the performance of my duty, I had to seek the truth to resolve it as soon as possible.

The next morning, during my spiritual devotion, I read a passage of God’s words that happened to align with my state. Almighty God says: “A lot of people don’t understand the truth or pursue the truth. What do they treat performing a duty like? They treat it like a kind of job, a kind of hobby, or an investment of their interest. They don’t treat it like a mission or a task given by God, or a responsibility which they should fulfill. Even less do they seek to understand the truth or God’s intentions in the course of performing their duties, so that they may perform their duties well and complete God’s commission. Therefore, in the process of performing their duties, some people become unwilling as soon as they endure a bit of hardship and want to escape. When they encounter some difficulties or suffer some setbacks, they back down, and want to escape again. They do not seek the truth; they just think about escaping. Like turtles, if anything goes wrong, they just hide in their shells, then wait until the problem has passed before they emerge again. There are a lot of people like this. In particular, there are some people who, when asked to take responsibility for certain work, don’t consider how they can offer their loyalty, or how to perform this duty and do this work well. Rather, they consider how to shirk responsibility, how to avoid being pruned, how to avoid shouldering any responsibility, and how to emerge unscathed when problems or mistakes occur. They first consider their own escape route and how to satisfy their own preferences and interests, not how to perform their duties well and offer their loyalty. Can people like this gain the truth? They do not put in effort with regard to the truth, and they do not put the truth into practice when it comes to performing their duties. To them, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Today they want to do this, tomorrow they want to do that, and they think that everyone else’s duties are better and easier than their own. And yet, they do not put in effort with regard to the truth. They do not think about what problems there are with these ideas of theirs, and they do not seek the truth to solve problems. Their minds are always focused on when their own dreams will be realized, who is in the limelight, who is getting recognition from the Above, who does work without being pruned and gets promoted. Their minds are filled with these things. Can people who are always thinking about these things perform their duties adequately? They can never accomplish this. So, what kind of people perform their duties in this way? Are they people who pursue the truth? Firstly, one thing is certain: People like this do not pursue the truth. They seek to enjoy a few blessings, become famous, and step into the spotlight in God’s house, just like when they were getting by in society. In terms of essence, what kind of people are they? They are disbelievers” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). Reading God’s words, I was moved. What God exposed was my exact state. As soon as I encountered difficulties while doing my duty, I wanted to shrink back and avoid them, always hoping I could change to an easier duty. In the past, when I ran into difficulties while producing videos, I didn’t rely on God to study technical skills and surmount them. Rather, I shrank in the face of difficulties, thinking that this duty was too demanding, that it required spending too much time and energy on studying professional skills. I was better off doing a duty that didn’t have so many professional or technical requirements; that way I wouldn’t have to suffer so much or be so exhausted. For the sake of fleshly comfort, I applied for duty reassignment. However, when I ran into difficulties in my new duty, I still didn’t want to suffer or pay a price, and again I thought of changing my duty. Since I never sought the truth to resolve this state, I still reacted to difficulties in the same way, thinking that this duty was too difficult and wanting to choose an easier one. I saw how God exposed that people like this do not pursue the truth and never make an effort, pray to God, or seek the truth to resolve difficulties. They’ve never been serious about any of their duties, only using their duties as a means to avoid an outcome of death. God said that such people are disbelievers. Seeing the word “disbelievers,” I felt distressed and humiliated, thinking, “The church has cultivated me for such a long time, but I’m afraid to suffer in my duty and I shrink in the face of difficulties. I haven’t seen any of my duties through to the end, and I haven’t produced any real results. I am truly so indebted to God! If I continue to not do my duty in a down-to-earth manner and not be serious about the truth or not make any effort with it, I’ll be revealed and eliminated in the end.” In reality, by promoting me and cultivating me as a leader, the church was giving me a chance to receive training. Although I encounter many difficulties and problems and the work is busy and tiring, if I can pray to and seek from God when facing difficulties and problems, I will gain something and achieve some life growth. This is God’s exaltation! Understanding this, I was willing to rebel against my flesh and seek the truth more when facing difficulties, and I was more conscientious when doing my duty than before.

Three months later, I was elected as a district leader. Because I had only just taken over this duty, there were lots of problems that I didn’t know how to resolve, but I thought that since I had just started training, not knowing what to do was normal, so I was willing to strive to measure up. However, after two months had passed, I saw that the results of the watering work I was supervising were on the decline. My heart grew weak, and I felt that this duty was really tough, thinking, “I almost never missed a gathering with the waterers, and each time I inquired in detail about how the watering of each newcomer was going and arranged for people to offer support to the weaker ones. Why aren’t the results improving?” I was very negative, and I also thought, “I can’t resolve these real problems; I’m better off changing to a single-item duty. With a single-item duty, I’ll just have to stick to my share of the work and won’t need to worry about the whole operation. That way, it won’t be so tiring or difficult.” When these thoughts arose, I started to get irritable when doing my duty. Seeing all the letters I had to respond to every day, I couldn’t help but start grumbling, and I thought, “Is it even possible to reply to this many letters?” I wasn’t willing to invest effort and think about these letters in detail, and some of them I just skimmed through briefly, dismissed as too complicated, and then cast aside, paying them no mind. At the time, I didn’t discover and review the problems and deviations in the watering work in a timely manner, which delayed the work. One day, the upper-level leaders sent me a letter, saying that there were many problems with the work we were supervising and that the work wasn’t producing results. I resisted this in my heart, thinking, “Why are there so many problems with the work? Why can’t I ever finish resolving them? Plus, I have to be pruned when I make mistakes. I can’t do this work!” I realized that my state was incorrect, and I prayed to God, “God, as soon as I encounter difficulties, I start feeling stressed, a feeling of resistance arises within me, and I don’t want to keep doing my duty. God, please guide me to seek the truth and resolve this problem.” During my seeking, I recalled a passage of God’s words. “When Christ fellowships about specific work that needs to be implemented and which needs someone to be in charge, it’s possible for individuals to encounter difficulties. Shouting slogans and preaching doctrines are easy, but actual implementation is not so simple. At the very least, people need to expend effort, pay a price, and spend time to actually go and carry out these tasks. This involves, in one regard, finding suitable individuals, and, in another, learning about the profession involved, researching the common knowledge and theories related to various professional aspects, and the specific methods and approaches of operation. Additionally, they might encounter some challenging issues. Generally, normal people feel a bit daunted upon hearing about these difficulties, feeling some pressure, but those who are loyal and submissive to God, when faced with difficulties and feeling pressured, will silently pray in their hearts, asking God for guidance, to increase their faith, for enlightenment and assistance, and also asking for protection against making mistakes, so that they can fulfill their loyalty and exert their utmost effort so as to achieve a clear conscience. However, people such as antichrists are not like this. When they hear about specific arrangements in work from Christ that they need to implement and that the work has some difficulties, they start feeling resistant internally, and are unwilling to proceed. What does this unwillingness look like? They say: ‘Why do good things never come my way? Why am I always given problems and demands? Am I considered idle or a slave to be ordered around? I’m not that easy to manipulate! You say it so lightly, why don’t you try doing it yourself!’ Is this submission? Is this an attitude of acceptance? What are they doing? (Resisting, opposing.) … What is going on here? Is it that when they face difficulties, need to endure physical hardship, and can no longer live in comfort, they become resistant? Is this unconditional, complaint-free submission? They become unwilling at the slightest difficulty. Anything they don’t want to do, any work they perceive as difficult, undesirable, demeaning, or looked down upon by others, they fiercely resist, object to, and refuse, showing not the slightest bit of submission. The first reaction of antichrists when faced with Christ’s words, commands, or the principles He fellowships about—as soon as it causes them difficulties or requires them to suffer or pay a price—is resistance and refusal, feeling repulsion in their hearts. However, when it comes to things they are willing to do or that benefit them, their attitude is not the same. Antichrists desire to indulge in comfort and stand out, but are they delighted and happily willing to accept when they face the suffering of the flesh, the need to pay a price, or even risk offending others? Can they achieve absolute submission then? Not in the slightest; their attitude is entirely one of disobedience and recalcitrance. When people such as antichrists are faced with things they don’t want to do, things that don’t align with their preferences, tastes, or self-interests, their attitude toward Christ’s words becomes one of absolute refusal and resistance, without a trace of submission” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Four)). Through the exposure of God’s words, I realized that everyone has difficulties and stress when doing their duties, that those who pursue the truth are able to accept this from God, and amidst the difficulties, they’re able to pray to God, seek the truth to resolve problems, and do their duties well. Antichrists, however, covet the comforts of the flesh, and are happy doing easy duties that put them in the spotlight. When faced with duties that are challenging and require fleshly suffering and investing effort, not only do they not resolve the difficulties, they resist and oppose. I saw that my behavior was the same as that of antichrists. I only cared for coveting comforts of the flesh and was unwilling to pay a price in my duty. When the watering work I was in charge of didn’t produce results and ran into difficulties, I thought that doing this duty was hard and wanted to change to another one so that my flesh could relax a little. When I saw that I needed to respond to lots of letters every day, I resisted and grumbled, simply casting the letters aside and paying them no mind. Consequently, the deviations in the work were not promptly reversed and resolved, which affected the results of the watering work. Doing leadership duties, my main job was to supervise the watering work and get more newcomers to lay down roots on the true way. However, I neglected this work and treated it lightly, not putting effort into resolving the existing problems and causing the work to come to a standstill. Doing my duty like this, I was really unworthy of anyone’s trust; I had no humanity at all!

Later on, I pondered, “Why do I always pick easy jobs and shirk hard ones in my duty, shrinking from difficulties and folding in the face of hardship?” I read God’s words. “When doing a duty, people always pick light work, work that isn’t tiring, and that does not involve braving the elements outdoors. This is picking easy jobs and shirking hard ones, and it is a manifestation of coveting the comforts of the flesh. What else? (Always complaining when their duty is a little hard, a little tiring, when it involves paying a price.) (Being preoccupied with food and clothing, and the pleasures of the flesh.) These are all manifestations of coveting the comforts of the flesh. … There’s also when people always complain while performing their duty, when they don’t want to put any effort in, when, as soon as they have a little downtime, they take a rest, chatter idly, or partake in leisure and entertainment. And when work picks up and it breaks the rhythm and routine of their lives, they are unhappy and dissatisfied with it. They grumble and complain, and they become careless and perfunctory in performing their duty. This is coveting the comforts of the flesh, is it not? … Are people who covet the comforts of the flesh suitable for doing a duty? As soon as someone brings up the subject of doing their duty, or talks about paying a price and suffering hardship, they keep shaking their heads. They have too many problems, they are full of complaints, they are negative about everything. Such people are useless, they are not qualified to do their duty, and should be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (2)). “Today, you do not believe the words I say, and you pay no attention to them; when the day comes for this work to spread and you see the entirety of it, you will regret, and at that time you will be dumbfounded. There are blessings, yet you do not know to enjoy them, and there is the truth, yet you do not pursue it. Do you not bring contempt upon yourself? Today, although the next step of God’s work has yet to begin, there is nothing exceptional about the demands that are made of you and what you are asked to live out. There is so much work, and so many truths; are they not worthy of being known by you? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of awakening your spirit? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of making you hate yourself? Are you content to live under the influence of Satan, with peace and joy, and a little fleshly comfort? Are you not the lowliest of all people? None are more foolish than those who have beheld salvation but do not pursue to gain it; these are people who gorge themselves on the flesh and enjoy Satan. You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? … A coward such as you, who always pursues the flesh—do you have a heart, do you have a spirit? Are you not a beast? I give you the true way without asking for anything in return, yet you do not pursue. Are you one of those who believe in God? I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals; is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to look upon God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been given to you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own personal pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). When doing my duty, I shrank from difficulties and folded in the face of hardship, and the root causes of this were that I wasn’t willing to suffer, that I coveted fleshly comforts, and that I wasn’t willing to suffer and pay a price in order to pursue gaining the truth. Because I was pursuing with an incorrect viewpoint, as soon as I encountered difficulties in my duty and my flesh had to suffer, I felt extremely repressed and was full of grievances, even wanting to dodge my duty. I recalled how when I was a student in the past, when I saw my classmates studying hard and pursuing getting into good universities and standing out in the future, as soon as I thought of the suffering that came with strenuous studying, I pulled back. Because of this, I didn’t end up as highly educated as they did. In the past, I used to think that my life values were just different than other people’s, and I never had much desire for reputation and status. Now, I finally saw that it wasn’t that I didn’t like fame, gain, and status, but that I’d been living by Satan’s law of survival: “Life is too short; be good to yourself.” I cared too much about my flesh. Now, even though I believed in God, this satanic law of survival was still deeply ingrained in me. As soon as I encountered difficulties in my work, I would cry foul, wanting to do an easier duty. I was in charge of the watering work, which had to do with the life entry of newcomers. If newcomers aren’t watered well, it’s easy for them to be captured by Satan, but I wasn’t willing to pay a price or seek the truth to resolve various difficulties in my duty. Rather, I shrank from adversity, giving no consideration to God’s intention and not taking the church’s work into account; I was extremely selfish and despicable. In reality, with any duty in God’s house, doing it well requires expending oneself a bit. For example, the brothers and sisters who spread the gospel have to put effort into equipping themselves with vision-related truths, while also enduring the ridicule and abuse of potential gospel recipients and even facing the danger of being arrested and losing their lives at any time. Also, with technical duties, they can only be done well if one spends time and energy studying the professional skills. When brothers and sisters who pursue the truth are faced with such difficulties, they’re able to seek the truth and learn lessons, getting better at their duties the longer they do them, and they feel that all their suffering is worth it. In the past, I didn’t have that kind of pursuit or resolve. My attitude toward my duty was like that of a slacker; wanting to muddle along in everything I did, not seeing anything through and not completing any of my tasks. If I continued to pursue fleshly comforts and didn’t properly pursue the truth, and if I didn’t suffer and pay a price to do my duty well, I wouldn’t do a good job in any duty; I’d truly become useless trash that ought to be eliminated.

Later, I read more of God’s words. “Man must pursue to live out a life of meaning, and should not be satisfied with his current circumstances. To live out the image of Peter, he must possess the knowledge and experiences of Peter. Man must pursue things that are higher and more profound. He must pursue a deeper, purer love of God, and a life that has value and meaning. Only this is life; only then will man be the same as Peter. You must focus on being proactive toward your entry on the positive side, and must not passively allow yourself to backslide for the sake of momentary ease while ignoring more profound, more specific, and more practical truths. Your love must be practical, and you must find ways to free yourself from this depraved, carefree life that is no different from an animal’s. You must live out a life of meaning, a life of value, and you must not fool yourself or treat your life like a toy to be played with. For everyone who aspires to love God, there are no unobtainable truths and no justice for which they cannot stand firm. How should you live your life? How should you love God, and use this love to satisfy His intentions? There is no greater matter in your life. Above all, you must have such aspirations and perseverance, and should not be like those who are spineless, those who are weaklings. You must learn how to experience a meaningful life and experience meaningful truths, and should not treat yourself perfunctorily in that way. Without you realizing it, your life will pass you by; after that, will you have another opportunity to love God? Can man love God after he is dead? You must have the same aspirations and conscience as Peter; your life must be meaningful, and you must not play games with yourself. As a human being, and as a person who pursues God, you must be able to carefully consider how you treat your life, how you should offer yourself to God, how you should have a more meaningful faith in God, and how, since you love God, you should love Him in a way that is more pure, more beautiful, and more good” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). From God’s words, I saw that God hopes people can treat pursuing the truth as a major part of their life. If I lost my chance to gain the truth for the sake of temporary comforts of the flesh, would that not be foolish? When God’s work ends, if we haven’t gained the truth or changed our disposition, we’ll only regret it our whole life. In my time doing leadership duties, although there was much I lacked and although the work involved a fair amount of difficulties and stress, I’d gained so much more than I had doing single-item duties. Not only had it elevated my working abilities, I’d also come to understand some truth principles. I saw that the difficulties and the stress—all of it was a blessing from God. I made a resolve that I wouldn’t want to keep dodging and avoiding my duty for the sake of fleshly considerations. When facing difficulties, I would pray to and rely on God more and seek the truth to resolve them. Soon afterward, I began to seek and ponder the reason that the watering work wasn’t producing results. Through reflecting and reviewing, I saw that it was primarily because I was too passive in my duty and didn’t focus on reviewing deviations. When newcomers had problems, I didn’t resolve them on the grounds that I was unqualified to do so, causing a lot of problems to pile up with no path toward resolution. Afterward, once I actually started paying a price in my work, the watering work’s results began to steadily improve. I experienced firsthand the sweet feeling of not living amidst difficulties and practicing according to God’s words, and I had even more faith to experience this situation.

Later on, I was put in charge of even more work, and on top of that, I wasn’t familiar with the work and was lacking with regard to fellowshipping on the truth and resolving problems. It felt quite strenuous, but I was willing to rebel against my flesh and put the utmost effort toward my duty. After a month or two of doing the work, the results weren’t too great, and I felt a bit discouraged, thinking that doing this duty was too hard and that the previous duties I’d done were more relaxed. I realized that my state was incorrect, and so I prayed to God and sought the truth to resolve it. I read God’s words: “Those who truly believe in God are all individuals who attend to their proper work, they are all willing to perform their duties, capable of shouldering a piece of work and doing it well according to their caliber and the regulations of God’s house. Of course, it may be challenging to adapt to this life at first. You may feel physically and mentally exhausted. However, if you truly have the resolve to cooperate and the willingness to become a normal and good person, and to achieve salvation, then you must pay a bit of a price and allow God to discipline you. When you have the urge to be willful, you must rebel against it and let go of it, gradually reducing your willfulness and selfish desires. … You cannot say, ‘This is too much pressure, so I won’t do it. I am just seeking leisure, ease, happiness, and comfort in doing my duty and working in God’s house.’ This will not work; it is not a thought that a normal adult should possess, and God’s house is not a place for you to indulge in comfort. Every person takes on a certain amount of pressure and risk in their life and work. In any job, especially performing your duty in God’s house, you should strive for optimal results. On a greater level, this is the teaching and demand of God. On a smaller level, it is the attitude, viewpoint, standard, and principle that every person should adopt in their comportment and actions” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). From God’s words, I understood that as an adult with normal reason, I should be able to take on work. Even though difficulties will sometimes arise in the work, requiring some suffering, this is something I ought to experience in the course of pursuing salvation. Even nonbelievers have to suffer a lot in order to make a living. As for us believers, the suffering we endure when doing our duties is meaningful and beneficial to our lives. Understanding this, I was willing to submit and experience. After this, when there were lots of difficulties in my duty, sometimes I’d still feel a bit despondent, but I wouldn’t want to resign from my duty because of them. Rather, I was able to seek God’s intention amidst the difficulties, do my best to measure up, and correctly regard the difficulties and stress in my duty. I thank God from my heart!