By Abby, Japan

I used to be in charge of the watering work in our church. One day, our leader came up to me and said that he was preparing to put me in charge of the film production work. I was stunned: I’d been responsible for the film production work a year before, but my eagerness for quick success had caused hindrances, and eventually I’d been dismissed. If they put me in charge of this work now, would I really be able to handle it? Being in charge of the film production work took more than just being capable of doing the work—it required knowledge of all sorts of related matters. I had too many gaps in my expertise; my abilities and my caliber were average. If I went and did this work, and I failed to get results, then what would I do? I knew I couldn’t accept this duty. I told the leader about how I’d been dismissed from this duty before, and why it had happened, and emphasized that my caliber and work capability weren’t that good. I implied that I didn’t want to accept the duty. I thought that by hearing me say this, he would consider someone else for the position. But the leader did something I didn’t expect: He fellowshipped with me, asking me to review the lessons I’d learned from my previous failure, and told me to do this duty well by relying on God. I was conflicted. I knew that I had God’s permission to take on this duty; that I should accept it and submit. But I was afraid that if I accepted it and didn’t do a good job, I’d be revealed and dismissed. After giving it some thought, I decided to bite the bullet and accept the duty. But the thought of being in charge of the film production work made me afraid. The sister who’d been in charge before me was no worse in ability and caliber than I was—if she couldn’t do it well, then how could I? I thought about the watering work that I was doing at the time: It wasn’t too difficult, and the results I’d been getting weren’t too bad. It would’ve been much less risky to keep doing that duty. Doing the film production work was much different: It was really difficult for me, and I’d already committed some transgressions when I did it before. If I couldn’t do it well this time, and caused any disruptions or disturbances, I feared I might be eliminated. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. The more I thought about it, the more repressed I felt. Although I’d agreed to do it, I kept delaying it on the grounds that the watering work had not yet been handed over to someone else. I knew that this state wasn’t right, so I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me toward an understanding of myself, and to help me turn this state around.

After praying, I read some of God’s words: “When Noah did as God instructed, he did not know what God’s intentions were. He did not know what God wanted to accomplish. God had only given him a command and instructed him to do something, and without much explanation, Noah went ahead and did it. He did not try to secretly figure out God’s desires, nor did he resist God or show insincerity. He just went and did it accordingly with a pure and simple heart. Whatever God had him do, he did, and submitting and listening to God’s word underpinned his belief in what he did. That was how straightforwardly and simply he dealt with what God entrusted. His essence—the essence of his actions was submission, not second-guessing, not resisting, and moreover, not thinking of his own personal interests or his gains and losses. Further, when God said He would destroy the world with a flood, Noah did not ask when or ask what would become of things, and he certainly did not ask God how He was going to destroy the world. He simply did as God instructed. However God wanted it to be made and made with what, he did exactly as God asked and also commenced action immediately. He acted according to God’s instructions with an attitude of wanting to satisfy God. … He simply submitted, listened, and acted accordingly” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). I was touched by Noah’s attitude toward God’s commission. When Noah was entrusted with the commission by God, he did not know what God’s intention was. But he didn’t doubt, reject, or speculate upon God’s request, and he didn’t make excuses to not do it. He showed only simple obedience and submission, and did as God instructed. He didn’t stop to think about his own personal gains or losses, but tried his best to satisfy God’s request and completed God’s commission. When I thought of my own attitude toward my duty, I felt so ashamed. When the leader told me about his plans to put me in charge of the film production work, I’d begun speculating and growing cautious in my heart. I’d thought that the film production work was too difficult, and that even a little carelessness would result in me being revealed, so I wanted to shirk my duty. When I did this duty before, I hadn’t done it well—this was all the more reason why I should’ve accepted it this time with a grateful heart, been considerate of God’s intentions in the course of performing it, and made up for my past indebtedness. But I’d only thought about my own interests. I’d suspected God and guarded against Him, feeling as though God had wanted to deprive me of my future prospects and destiny by giving me this duty. I saw that I had no conscience or reason. When things were normal, and there were no problems in my life, I’d shouted my willingness to submit to God and to satisfy Him. But as soon as He wanted me to take responsibility, I’d begun thinking about myself, showing not a hint of submission. The more I thought about it, the more ashamed I felt, and I resolved not to avoid my duty any longer. Still, my heart was burdened with concerns that had not yet completely dispelled, so I continued praying to God, seeking answers that might help me to resolve this problem.

One day, during devotionals, I came across a passage of God’s words that gave me an understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “Some people are afraid of shouldering responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to shoulder responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a slack job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not shoulder any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the kingdom gospel. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not bear responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you spread the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of shouldering responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is someone who fears taking on responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. The fact is that this is not an issue of cowardice. If that person were after wealth, or they were doing something in their own interest, how could they be so brave? They would take on any risk. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risk at all. Such people are selfish and vile, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take on responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take on responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking on responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; it is a problem in their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and vile people, not true-hearted believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the least. For this reason, they cannot be saved” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). My heart was greatly stirred by God’s words. Before, I didn’t think that my unwillingness to accept responsibility was such a serious problem. But now, through the exposure of God’s words, I understood that people who are afraid to take responsibility are the most selfish and cunning sort of people. Such people have no sincerity toward God, and if they live in this state for too long and do not change, they will be despised by God in the end. Looking at my own performance through the lens of God’s words, I saw that I was just such a person: selfish, despicable, slippery and deceitful. I was fully aware that the person in charge of the film production work had just been transferred, and that there was an urgent need for someone else to come in and take on the role. I was familiar with the work and the personnel, and was the most suitable candidate for the role at this time. But because of my desire to protect myself, I was unwilling to take on this duty. I suggested that my caliber was poor and my work capabilities were lacking, but in reality I just wanted to shirk my duty. At the crucial moment, I acted like a deserter and didn’t protect the church’s work at all. I was selfish and despicable, and I had no humanity. When a person with truly good humanity sees the difficult situation in church work, they will actively stand up and rush to help maintain the work. They won’t think about their own personal gains and losses. Even if they have their own difficulties or deficiencies, they won’t shy away from their duty. They will rely on God to learn what to do and practice through experience, and try their best to improve. Only that kind of person possesses both conscience and reason. When I thought of all this, I felt sorrow and self-reproach. I reflected, and asked myself: What is preventing me from accepting this duty?

Later, I read some more of God’s words: “When their duties are adjusted, if the decision was made by the church, people should accept and obey, they must reflect on themselves, and understand the essence of the problem and their own shortcomings. This is very beneficial for people, and it is something that ought to be practiced. With something so simple, ordinary people can figure it out and treat it correctly, without encountering too many difficulties or any insurmountable hurdles. … When a simple adjustment is made to their duty, people should answer with an attitude of obedience, do as God’s house tells them to, and do what they are able, and, no matter what they do, do it as well as is within their power, with all their heart and all their strength. What God has done is not in error. Such a simple truth can be practiced by people with a little conscience and reason, but this is beyond the abilities of antichrists. When it comes to the adjustment of duties, antichrists will immediately offer arguments, sophistry, and defiance, and deep down they refuse to accept it. Just what is in their heart? Suspicion and doubt, they then probe others using all kinds of methods. They test the waters with their words and their actions, and even coerce and entice people to tell the truth and speak honestly through unscrupulous means. … Why would they make a simple thing so complicated? There is only one reason: Antichrists never obey the arrangements of God’s house, and they always closely link their duty, fame, gain, and status with their hope of gaining blessings and their future destination, as if once their reputation and status are lost, they have no hope of gaining blessings and rewards, and this feels like losing their lives to them. … Therefore, they guard themselves against the leaders and workers of God’s house, fearing that somebody will discern or see through them, and that they’ll then be dismissed and their dream of blessings will be spoiled. They think they must maintain their reputation and status in order for them to have hope of gaining blessings. An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). God’s words expose that antichrists are particularly wicked and deceitful. They will take a simple, straightforward matter and make it overly complicated. An antichrist would take the matter of reassignment in duty and link it to their blessings and destination. Antichrists do their duty only for the sake of their own blessings, viewing these as being more important than anything else. They are always planning their own outcome and destination, showing no consideration for God’s intentions nor for the work of the church. What I had revealed, through my own behavior, was the disposition of an antichrist. Faced with a normal change to my duty, I’d thought about it over and over in my mind: how there were so few difficulties in the watering work I was currently doing, how smoothly the work went, how few mistakes I made, and how little chance there was of being revealed. Doing this duty was safer, and guaranteed I would receive blessings. The film production work, by contrast, was much harder, and required a solid grasp of a number of professional skills and principles. If I failed to do well, I’d be revealed and dismissed. Not only that, but I’d already failed before—I was afraid that if I caused any problems this time and was eliminated, I would have no hope whatsoever of receiving blessings. I saw that I’d been doing my duty on the premise of gaining blessings for myself; that I was willing to cooperate when it was beneficial to me, but resisted and refused to accept it when it was not. I was leaving a way out for myself, carefully protecting myself, trying to use my duty to achieve my goal of gaining blessings. I was being so deceitful and wicked! I thought of God’s words: “For a created being to be able to fulfill the duty of a created being, to be able to satisfy the Creator, is the most beautiful thing among humankind, and is something that should be spread as a tale to be praised by all people. Anything the Creator entrusts to created beings should be unconditionally accepted by them; for humankind, this is a matter of both happiness and privilege, and for all those who fulfill the duty of a created being, nothing is more beautiful or worthy of commemoration—it is something positive. … Such a beautiful and such a great thing is twisted by the ilk of the antichrists into a transaction, in which they solicit crowns and rewards from God’s hand. Such a transaction turns something most beautiful and just into something most ugly and wicked. Is this not what the antichrists do? Judging from this, are the antichrists not wicked? They are quite wicked indeed!” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). It is the most beautiful and just thing for created beings to perform their duties. But antichrists twist this beautiful thing into a deal: They believe in God without sincerity, and perform their duties to gain blessings for themselves. Their essence is that of a disbeliever. I thought of how long I’d been believing in God, and how much I’d eaten and drunk the word of God, and yet my view on pursuit hadn’t changed at all. My attitude toward my duty was that of an antichrist. If I didn’t change, I’d be despised by God.

I continued reflecting on this, in order to understand myself, and found a passage of God’s words: “Antichrists do not believe that the words of God are the truth, and they do not believe that His disposition is righteous and holy. They regard all this through human notions and imaginings, and they approach the work of God with human perspectives, human thoughts, and human guile, employing the logic and thinking of Satan to delineate God’s disposition, identity, and essence. Obviously, not only do antichrists neither accept nor acknowledge God’s disposition, identity, and essence; on the contrary they are full of notions, opposition, and rebelliousness toward God and have not the least shred of real knowledge of Him. Antichrists’ definition of God’s work, God’s disposition, and God’s love is a question mark—dubiousness, and they are full of skepticism and full of denial and slander for it; so what, then, of His identity? God’s disposition represents His identity; with such a regard of God’s disposition as theirs, their regard of God’s identity is self-evident—direct denial. This is the essence of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Six)). God exposes that antichrists do not believe in God’s righteousness. They do not believe that God’s house is governed by the truth, and they even refuse to admit that the word of God is the truth. Antichrists always view God’s actions based on their own notions and imaginings. They are full of doubts and denials of God’s righteousness, and they do not believe that God is fair and righteous—this is defamation and blasphemy against God. When I’d finished reading God’s words, I felt afraid. I thought about how I’d behaved just like an antichrist: I hadn’t based my view of things on God’s word, and I hadn’t believed in God’s righteousness. Instead, I’d fallaciously believed that the greater the responsibility I took, and the greater the difficulty of the work, the sooner I’d be revealed. I’d thought that once I failed to do my work well or any deviations arose, I’d be dismissed and eliminated, and so I always wanted to hide from that responsibility. I didn’t want my work to be difficult or important, thinking that this way I wouldn’t be revealed so quickly. Now, from God’s words, I understood that God is righteous, and that the church reassigns people’s duties based on principles. The church doesn’t just willfully dismiss people over temporary mistakes and transgressions—it looks at people’s consistent performance and makes a comprehensive decision. If a person is of a good humanity and pursues the truth, then even if some deviations appear in their work or they temporarily fail to achieve good results, the church will help and support them. Likewise, if someone cannot do real work because they are lacking in caliber, the church will look at their situation and assign them an appropriate duty. And if a person consistently fails to do real work, or disturbs and disrupts the work of the church, and if they consistently fail to repent after receiving repeated assistance and fellowship, then in the end they will be dismissed. I thought back to the last time I was in charge of the film production work, and how my desire for quick success had caused hindrances. At the time, others had fellowshipped with me and tried to help me, but I didn’t change my ways, and in the end, I was dismissed. However, the church still gave me another chance to repent, allowing me to keep doing a duty. I also saw how some of the brothers and sisters around me often had problems and difficulties in their work—but they were simple, and honest, and they pursued the truth. Even though they would have problems and make errors, they were able to gradually grasp the principles and do their duties better and better, through continuous review and reflection. From this, I could see that God is righteous, and that God’s house is governed by the truth. Those who pursue the truth and make a sincere effort may commit transgressions sometimes. But as long as they are willing to repent, God’s house will give them as many chances as possible. And, if they are able to change, then God’s house will continue to promote them and cultivate them. But those who do not accept the truth, hate the truth and commit all kinds of evil without repenting—those people will be cleared out of God’s house. The church put me in charge of the film production work, and in doing so gave me a chance to practice and make up for my shortcomings. Not only was I ungrateful for this, but I also misunderstood and guarded myself against this decision, thinking that God’s house was just as unfair and unrighteous as society. Wasn’t this a kind of blasphemy against God? When I realized this, I began to shed tears. I hated myself for my rebelliousness, and for my lack of conscience and reason! I felt remorse and self-blame, and came before God to pray and repent. In the future, I would no longer misunderstand and guard against God.

Afterward, I read two passages of God’s words. Almighty God says: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he receives blessings or suffers misfortune. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. Receiving blessings refers to when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. Suffering misfortune refers to when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment; they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they receive blessings or suffer misfortune, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to receive blessings, and you should not refuse to act for fear of suffering misfortune. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words gave me a path of practice. A duty is a person’s heaven-sent vocation, a responsibility that they should fulfill. It has nothing to do with receiving blessings or encountering misfortune. Whether it was good or bad for me personally, I had to accept this duty with an honest heart and do it as best I could, without planning or scheming for my own benefit. No matter what difficulties I faced in my duty, as long as I sincerely relied on God, then He would guide me. I was willing to do my best to cooperate with an open heart. If my caliber really was lacking, or if my abilities weren’t enough and I wasn’t up to the task, then I would accept the church’s reassignment.

After this, I began to take charge of the film production work. During the course of my work, I sometimes encountered difficulties or failures, but I was no longer filled with misgivings over this. Through collaboration in heart and mind with my brothers and sisters, and by seeking the truth principles together, we were able to gradually resolve these difficulties. I learned from my failures, and before long the work had improved. Seeing all this, I was touched. That I was able to experience such a change was entirely the result of God’s words. Thank God!