By Ye Di, China

When I was a leader, some brothers and sisters reported that Yang Li, the leader of a church that I was responsible for, wasn’t doing any actual work. Through real investigation, I found out that Yang Li spent all day doing general affairs work, so that she had no time to do any of the work of a church leader. Whenever she went to a group gathering, she would always say she was busy, and when she was done making the necessary arrangements she would always leave in a hurry. She almost never fellowshipped with her brothers and sisters in gatherings, nor did she actually understand or resolve the problems and difficulties they faced in the course of their duties. Several deacons also reported that Yang Li only met with them once every few months. Her brothers and sisters’ problems and difficulties were not being resolved in a timely manner, they had become negative and passive in their duties, and their life entry was being hampered. Moreover, some brothers and sisters had no sense of burden and consistently muddled through in their duties. And Yang Li didn’t fellowship with them, help them, or dismiss them in good time. An evil person was disrupting and disturbing the church life, but Yang Li didn’t cleanse them from the church within a reasonable timeframe. Because Yang Li didn’t do actual work, church life had been disturbed, and various tasks were failing to yield results, reducing things to a state of paralysis. When I fellowshipped with Yang Li and exposed her problems, not only did she refuse to accept what I was saying—she even argued back, trying to justify herself, and attempting to place the blame for the church work’s lack of results on the sister she’d been partnered with. Based on Yang Li’s behavior, and seeing that she absolutely refused to accept the truth or repent, I deemed her a false leader who did no actual work, one that should be dismissed immediately. But I hesitated. Some of the brothers and sisters didn’t discern Yang Li, and felt that she had some caliber and gifts. They said that she had a quick mind, and was good at fellowshipping in gatherings. She worked long hours every day to do her duty, they said, and she had a real sense of burden. They worshiped her, and defended her. Since everyone seemed to think so highly of her, I thought, then by dismissing her as soon as I came along, wouldn’t they think of me as arrogant? Would they think that I refused to give her a chance to repent? Or, perhaps they would think that I was just keen to make bold changes to assert my newfound authority over everyone and establish my prestige? I thought to myself, “Maybe the brothers and sisters should write their own evaluations of Yang Li first. Then I can judge whether or not to dismiss her.” But the brothers and sisters were undiscerning of her, and their evaluations were of little value as references. The CCP’s persecution was so severe at this time that it was impossible to gather with the brothers and sisters to fellowship and discern her. If I waited until I could fellowship with them before dismissing her, then the church work would be delayed for who knew how long. I thought, “It would be better to dismiss her first, then fellowship and discern her behavior with the brothers and sisters later.” But, I was still worried, wondering, “If the brothers and sisters weren’t given the chance to write an evaluation before her dismissal, would it even be possible to win them over? There was another option: I could write a letter to the leader to report on Yang Li’s situation. If the leader agreed to it, then I would dismiss her. That way, even if it failed to pass muster with the brothers and sisters, I wouldn’t have to take sole responsibility for the decision. Everyone would know that it wasn’t just me who decided on this course of action, and so they wouldn’t say such negative things about me.” These thoughts kept turning over in my head, and finally I decided to write to the leader the next day.

The next morning, I told my partnered sister about Yang Li’s situation. She also believed that Yang Li was a false leader who should be dismissed as soon as possible. She suggested dismissing Yang Li while writing a letter to inform the leader. I thought that this was also an appropriate course of action—but, when I went to implement it, I hesitated again, thinking, “This is all just based on what I’ve seen of Yang Li’s behavior. Without an evaluation by the brothers and sisters, would everyone really agree to dismiss her? When the time comes, will they protest on behalf of Yang Li? Will they say that I’m arrogant, or that I can’t treat people fairly? If the brothers and sisters aren’t convinced by my decision and report me because of it, then I’ll really lose face.” The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. My sister saw the uneasy look on my face, and asked me, “Is it that you’re worried about the other brothers and sisters? That if you dismiss Yang Li without their evaluation, they won’t accept it? We dismiss false leaders according to principles, in order to protect the church’s work. Why are you so concerned about this?” Hearing what she said, I began to reflect: “It’s true. God’s house clearly requires us to dismiss leaders and workers who run amok and who fail to do any actual work, to avoid delaying the work of the church. I’ve already seen that Yang Li is a false leader, but I keep wanting the brothers and sisters’ consent before dismissing her. Why is this?” I realized that this state was not right. So, together with my sister, I sought to resolve this problem. And we saw two passages of God’s words that said: “As leaders and workers, you’re capable of ignoring problems that occur in the performance of duties, and you even look for various pretexts and excuses to avoid responsibility. There are some problems that you are capable of solving, but don’t, and the problems you are incapable of solving you do not report to your superiors, as if they have nothing to do with you. Is this not a dereliction of your duty? Is treating the work of the church thus a clever thing to do, or a foolish thing to do? (Foolish.) Are such leaders and workers not slippery? Are they not devoid of any sense of responsibility? When they ignore problems in front of them, does this not show they are heartless and treacherous? Treacherous people are the most foolish people of all. You must be an honest person, you must have a sense of responsibility when you face problems, and you must try every means possible to seek the truth to resolve problems. You absolutely must not be a treacherous person. If you only concern yourself with shirking responsibility and washing your hands of it when problems arise, you would even be condemned for this behavior among nonbelievers, not to mention in God’s house! This is condemned and cursed by God and God’s chosen people despise and reject such behavior. God loves honest people, but hates deceitful and slippery people. If you are a treacherous person and attempt to play tricks, will God not loathe you? Will God’s house simply let you off the hook? Sooner or later, you will be held accountable. God likes honest people and dislikes treacherous people. Everyone should understand this clearly, and stop being confused and doing foolish things. Momentary ignorance is excusable, but refusing to accept the truth at all is just obstinacy. Honest people can take responsibility. They do not consider their own gains and losses, they just safeguard the work and interests of God’s house. They have kind and honest hearts that are like bowls of clear water that one can see the bottom of at a glance. There is also transparency in their actions. A deceitful person always plays tricks, always disguises things, covers up, and wraps themselves up so tightly that no one can see through them. People can’t see through to their inner thoughts, but God can scrutinize the deepest things in their heart. If God sees that they are not an honest person, and that they are slippery—never accepting the truth, always engaging in deceit against God, and never handing their heart over to Him—then God will not like them, He will loathe and abandon them” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). “All of you say you are considerate of God’s burden and will defend the testimony of the church, but who among you has really been considerate of God’s burden? Ask yourself: Are you someone who has shown consideration for His burden? Can you practice righteousness for Him? Can you stand up and speak for Me? Can you steadfastly put the truth into practice? Are you bold enough to fight against all of Satan’s deeds? Would you be able to set your feelings aside and expose Satan for the sake of My truth? Can you allow My intentions to be satisfied in you? Have you offered up your heart in the most crucial of moments? Are you someone who follows My will? Ask yourself these questions, and think about them often” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 13). God’s words exposed my despicable intentions like a hammer hitting a nail. I saw, then, that I was a treacherous person. I’d clearly confirmed Yang Li to be a false leader who did no actual work and that the brothers and sisters had no discernment toward her, and that they even adored and defended her. But, instead of dismissing her as soon as possible, in accordance with principles, I was being cunning in order to protect my face and status. I knew full well that the brothers and sisters didn’t discern her, and that there was no real purpose to having them write an evaluation, but I was still willing to waste time going through this process out of fear that I would be called arrogant after dismissing Yang Li, and that this would impact my status and image. I covered up my despicable intentions with the pretext of securing the brothers and sisters’ agreement and I even wanted to ask the leader’s opinion before dismissing her—that way, even if the brothers and sisters objected to her dismissal, I could just say that the leader had agreed to it, so I wouldn’t have to bear that responsibility alone. I thought of everything I could to try and protect myself, playing tricks and using ruses to get what I wanted. I was so cunning! It was my responsibility, and the demand of God’s house, that I quickly dismiss unsuitable false leaders. But I shirked my responsibility by being indecisive—all I thought about was how to protect my face and status. I didn’t consider how much of a hindrance and a loss it would be, to both the work of the church and to the life entry of the brothers and sisters, if I didn’t dismiss this false leader in a timely fashion. I watched on as the false leader harmed the church, and rather than standing up to expose her, dismiss her and protect the interests of the church, I kept putting my own interests first. I even found a way to excuse myself from the situation. I was so selfish, and despicable! The more I thought about it, the more I felt unworthy of this duty, let alone face my brothers and sisters.

I pondered all this. I believed in God, I ate and drank God’s words every day, and I did my duty. So why, when I was faced with a problem, did I stop practicing the truth? Why couldn’t I safeguard the interests of the church? What exactly were the reasons for this? Later on, I read a passage of God’s words, and came to understand a little more about this problem. God’s words say: “Are there any among you who believe at heart only in the vague God in heaven, yet always have notions about the incarnate God? If there are truly such people, then they are believers in religion. Believers in religion do not acknowledge the incarnate God in their hearts, and even if they do, they always have notions about Him and are never able to submit. Isn’t that so? Strictly speaking, such people are not believers in God. Although they may claim to believe in God, in reality, they aren’t much different from believers in religion. In their hearts, all they believe in is the vague God; they are abiders in religious notions and regulations. So, with anyone who does not pursue the truth, who focuses only on good behavior and adherence to regulations, who does not practice the truth, and whose disposition does not change in the slightest, what that person is doing is believing in religion. What feature distinguishes those who believe in religion? (They focus only on external practices and appearing to behave well.) What are the principles and basis for their actions? (Satanic philosophies for worldly dealings.) What satanic philosophies for worldly dealings and satanic, corrupt dispositions are there? Crookedness and deceitfulness; being a law unto oneself; arrogance and conceit; having the last word in all things; never searching for the truth or fellowshipping with the brothers and sisters; and when taking action, thinking always of one’s own interests, of one’s own pride, and status—all of this is acting based on a satanic disposition. It is following Satan. If one believes in God but does not heed His words, accept the truth, or submit to His arrangements and orchestrations; if they only exhibit certain good behaviors, but are unable to rebel against the flesh, and relinquish nothing of their pride or interests; if, though by appearances they are performing their duty, they still live by their satanic dispositions, and have not in the least given up or changed their satanic philosophies and modes of existence, how, then, could they possibly believe in God? That is belief in religion. Such people forsake things and expend themselves superficially, but to look at the path they walk and the origin and starting point of everything they do, they don’t base those things on the words of God or the truth; instead, they continue to act according to their own notions and imaginings, their subjective assumptions, and their ambitions and desires. The philosophies and dispositions of Satan still serve as the basis of their existence and actions. In matters where they do not understand the truth, they do not seek it; in matters where they do understand the truth, they do not practice it, honor God as great, or treasure the truth. Though they nominally and verbally believe in and acknowledge God, and though they may appear able to perform a duty and follow God, they are living by their satanic disposition in everything they say and do. The things they say and do are all revelations of a corrupt disposition. You won’t see them practicing or experiencing God’s words, much less manifestation of their seeking and submitting to the truth in all things. In their actions, they consider their own interests first, and fulfill their own desires and intents first. Are these people who follow God? (No.) … They never pay attention to what God’s intentions or requirements are, and how people must practice in order to satisfy God. Though they may sometimes pray before God and fellowship with Him, they are merely talking to themselves, not sincerely seeking the truth. When they pray to God and read His words, they do not relate them to the matters they encounter in real life. So, in the environment arranged by God, how do they treat His sovereignty, arrangements, and orchestrations? When faced with things that do not satisfy their own desires, they avoid them and resist them in their hearts. When faced with things that cause a loss to their interests or prevent their interests’ satisfaction, they try every means to seek a way out, striving to maximize their own benefits and fighting to avoid any losses. They do not seek to satisfy God’s intentions, but only their own desires. Is this faith in God? Do such people have a relationship with God? No, they do not. They live in a base, sordid, intransigent, and ugly manner. Not only do they have no relationship with God, but they also go against God’s sovereignty and arrangements at every turn” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. One Cannot Be Saved by Believing in Religion or Engaging in Religious Ceremony). Pondering God’s words, my heart roiled like the ocean in a storm. Looking back on my behavior, I was one of those people exposed by God: a believer in religion. Although I appeared capable of forsaking and expending myself, I didn’t seek the truth principles when I encountered issues. I only ever thought of my own interests, and lived by satanic rules of survival such as “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “Sensible people are good at self-protection, seeking only to avoid making mistakes.” These rules had become deeply rooted inside my heart—I felt that people should live for themselves, and that those who didn’t think about themselves were fools. I had taken these rules as guidelines for my own personal conduct, and thus had become more and more selfish, cunning, deceitful and despicable. Even though I’d read so many of God’s words after coming to believe in Him, I still didn’t accept the truth. I didn’t live by God’s words, but by Satan’s philosophies. With regards to the matter of dismissing Yang Li, I knew that what I should do was to practice the truth, and that this would be beneficial to the work of the church and the lives of the brothers and sisters. But, in order to save my face and status, and avoid the brothers and sisters calling me arrogant, I chose to put my actions on hold, and just look on as a false leader continued to harm and delay the church’s work. Was I not protecting this false leader, giving my tacit consent to her evil deeds? If a person who truly believed in God and who had a sense of justice saw the work of the church being hindered, they would act in accordance with God’s words and stand up to safeguard the interests of the church. But when I encountered such a situation, I didn’t practice the truth. Instead, I lived by Satan’s worldly philosophies. How could I be a believer in God? I had thought that I believed in God, that I could forsake and expend myself, and that I could suffer and pay the price for my belief. I thought I could submit to whatever duty the church assigned me to. But now, I realized that this was all just superficial good conduct. Being confronted with this issue had revealed me. I didn’t have the reality of practicing the truth, and when I did my duty, I was bound by my corrupt disposition and satanic philosophies. I didn’t believe in God, but in religion. My belief was not approved of by God, but despised and loathed by Him. If I didn’t repent, then my outcome would be to be punished and eliminated.

I read more of God’s words: “In the house of God, no matter what duty you perform, you must grasp the principles, and be able to practice the truth. Then you will have principles. If you cannot see through something, if you are not sure what the appropriate way to act is, you should seek and fellowship to come to a consensus. Once you have determined what’s beneficial to the church’s work and to the brothers and sisters, do that. Do not be constrained by any regulations, do not delay, do not wait, and do not be a passive observer. If you are always a passive observer and never have an opinion of your own, if you always wait until someone else has made a decision before doing anything, and if you just drag your heels and wait when no one has made a decision, what will the consequence be? Every item of work will come to a standstill, and nothing will get done. You should learn to seek the truth, or at least be able to act based on your conscience and reason. So long as you can see through to the appropriate way to do something, and the majority of people also think that method is workable, then that is how you should practice. Do not be afraid of taking responsibility, or of offending others, or of bearing consequences. If someone does not do anything real, and they are always calculating, and afraid of taking responsibility, and do not dare to hold to the principles in their actions, then this shows that they are too slippery and deceitful, and that they harbor too many crafty schemes. How lacking in virtue it is to wish to enjoy God’s grace and blessings and yet do nothing real. There is no one God despises more than these kinds of cunning and deceitful people. Regardless of what you are thinking, if you are not practicing according to the truth, have no loyalty, are always tainted by personal adulterations, and always have your own thoughts and ideas, God scrutinizes all these things, and knows about them. Do you think God does not know about them? In that case, you are so foolish! And if you do not immediately repent, you will not have God’s work. Why is that? Because God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts. He sees, with absolute clarity, all the little crafty schemes they have, and He sees that their hearts are walled off from Him, that they are not of one heart with Him. What are the main things that keep people’s hearts from God? Their thoughts, their interests and pride, their status, and their own little crafty schemes. When there is a wall of these things in people’s hearts that separates them from God, and they are constantly hiding away secrets and always have their own motives, this means trouble. If you are of slightly poor caliber and have slightly shallow experience, but are willing to pursue the truth, and are always of one heart with God, and can give your all to what God entrusts of you, without playing any tricks, then God will see this. If your heart is always walled off from God, and you always harbor petty schemes, and if you always live for your own interests and pride, are always calculating these things in your heart, and are possessed by them, then God will not be satisfied with you, and He will not enlighten or illuminate you, and He will ignore you, and your heart will grow ever darker. This means that when you perform your duty or do anything, you will make a mess of it, and there will be nothing worthwhile about it. That is because you are so selfish and vile, always scheming for your own sake, without being sincere toward God, and you dare to be deceitful and try to trick God, and you not only do not accept the truth, but are sly in performing your duty—which is not sincerely expending for God. And since you do not perform your duty sincerely, merely toil a little, and use this as an opportunity to get more benefits, and since you also wish to conspire to obtain fame, gain, and status for yourself, and do not accept and obey when you are pruned, it is likely that you will offend God’s disposition. God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts. If you do not repent, you will be in danger, and you will likely be eliminated by God, in which case you will never again have the chance to receive God’s approval” (God’s Fellowship). God’s words gave me a path of practice. When you encounter problems that you can’t see clearly, you can seek fellowship with brothers and sisters who understand the truth, and reach a consensus before acting to solve it. If you see clearly that the course of action aligns with the truth principles, and will be beneficial to the work of the church, then you should follow it in a timely manner. But if you are indecisive, if you always wait for the approval of a leader before making your decision, then it will likely hold up the work of the church. In fact, when dismissing unsuitable leaders or workers, it would also be in line with the principles to understand the evaluations of the brothers and sisters, to make a comprehensive assessment and then decide. This can be a good way to avoid making mistakes when dismissing leaders and workers. But principles are not rules. They must be used flexibly, depending on the circumstances. In the case of Yang Li’s dismissal, my partnered sister and I had already confirmed that Yang Li was a false leader in accordance with the principles, that if I did not immediately dismiss her it would only hold up the church’s work. There was no need to wait until I collected the brothers and sisters’ evaluations before dismissing her. Besides that, the brothers and sisters did not discern Yang Li—they had been misled by her. Even if I did ask them to write an evaluation it would be meaningless, a mere formality, and a waste of time. I should have directly dismissed her and exposed how she did no actual work, granting the brothers and sisters some discernment toward her and freeing them from her misleading. That would’ve been the only way to fulfill my responsibility as a leader. But in this matter, I had lived by Satan’s philosophy, using deception to protect myself. I hadn’t practiced the truth, and I hadn’t taken a shred of responsibility. If I kept doing my duty like this, I would be spurned by God. I knew that Yang Li was a false leader, but I didn’t dare dismiss her directly because I was afraid that people would call me arrogant. This showed that I didn’t understand what arrogance was, nor did I understand things like having a sense of justice and adhering to principles. Through seeking and contemplation, I came to the understanding that one’s arrogance betrays their satanic disposition. When people do not seek the truth principles, but are always opinionated, insist on their own ideas and viewpoints and make everybody obey them, that is conceit, arrogance, and self-righteousness. Having a sense of justice means upholding the truth and safeguarding the work of God. Through seeking and prayer, one can confirm which course of action conforms to the truth and to the word of God, and can uphold the truth and safeguard the church work and persist in this to the end, irrespective of what others think or say. This is a manifestation of having a sense of justice. In fact, our determination that Yang Li was a false leader was based on principles. Dismissing her would have been beneficial to the work of the church. Doing this would’ve been in accordance with principles, and would’ve shown a sense of justice. But I’d been afraid that, without the brothers and sisters’ agreement, dismissing Yang Li would’ve made people say that I was arrogant. I couldn’t distinguish between arrogance and having a sense of justice—I viewed a positive thing as being negative. This made me unable to liberate myself, and shy away from doing what was right. I saw that my understanding was completely distorted. If the brothers and sisters couldn’t discern a false leader, then I could fellowship with them. I couldn’t let my fear of others’ judgment stop me from upholding principles. I had to accept God’s scrutiny and protect the church’s interests, no matter what they thought. So, the next day, we dismissed Yang Li.

Afterward, my partnered sister and I fellowshipped with the brothers and sisters based on God’s words, and dissected Yang Li’s performance—how she consistently failed to do actual work, and how she wouldn’t accept the truth. After the fellowship, the brothers and sisters recognized that they’d been deceived by Yang Li’s ostensible zeal, and understood how to discern whether or not a leader was qualified. They came to understand that, in order to do so, you had to look not at their gifts, or their way with words, or their busy appearance. Rather, you had to look at whether or not they pursued the truth, did actual work, resolved actual issues, and achieved real results in their work. Seeing the brothers and sisters gain such knowledge made me glad, and I learned that by doing your duty in accordance with the truth principles, you can obtain God’s guidance. Before, I had worried that if I directly dismissed Yang Li, the brothers and sisters would be unable to accept it—that they would say I was arrogant. But now, I saw that that was all in my imagination, and when I acted according to the truth principles, the brothers and sisters did not judge me. Instead, they learned discernment from this situation. Before long, the church elected a suitable leader, the brothers and sisters began to live a normal church life, and the work was able to function normally again. Seeing all this made me very happy, and I learned that acting and doing one’s duty in accordance with the truth principles is the only way to gain God’s approval. Afterward, I consciously let go of my personal interests and began to do things based on the truth principles, a practice that gave me peace in my heart, and liberated me.

Through this experience, I saw that I was selfish and deceitful. To protect my own reputation and status, I put the church’s interests aside, and if it hadn’t been for the exposure of God’s words, I would not have understood myself and would not have changed. At the same time, I now understand how important it is to seek the truth principles in everything I do, and that only by seeking the truth and acting according to principles can I be qualified to do my duty.