By Song Chuying, China

At the end of March 2023, the leaders asked me to supervise the church’s cleansing work. I felt a lot of pressure when they told me this, and I thought, “I have a shallow understanding of the truth and lack discernment. If I can’t do actual work, I might end up being dismissed before long. That would be so embarrassing! Being a team member carries less responsibility and there’s a supervisor to review things, so the chances of making mistakes are smaller. If I become a supervisor, the workload will be greater, and as soon as I make a mistake, it could delay the work or, worse, lead to wrongful accusations and punishments. That would be a serious transgression! The performance of duty is meant to be a way to prepare good deeds, but if I transgress too much, then I’d be getting off lightly by being dismissed and embarrassed, and in worse cases, I might even be expelled from the church. Would I still have a good outcome and destination then?” With this in mind, I just gave excuses to decline the role by saying that my life entry was shallow, and that I wasn’t up to this duty. The leader didn’t say much but told me to continue seeking. In the days that followed, I felt weighed down every time I thought of the leader’s words. It just so happened that during that time, I had a problem in assessing someone’s behavior. I only looked at the severe consequences of her evil actions and labeled her as an evil person without examining her nature essence or consistent behavior. It was only later that I realized that although this person had committed some evil deeds, she wasn’t an evil person. This incident made me feel even more heavy-hearted. This mistake of mine had nearly harmed someone and disrupted the cleansing work. My discernment was really lacking. If I became a supervisor and made mistakes again, wouldn’t I just end up transgressing more? I then thought of Sister Lin Fang, the supervisor who had just been dismissed because she didn’t do actual work and failed to oversee and moderate the work. The two supervisors that had come before her had ended up being expelled from the church because they’d committed too many evil deeds. This made me feel even more strongly that being a supervisor was too risky, and that if I didn’t do the job well, I would just end up being dismissed or eliminated before long. It felt safer to just be a team member. But directly refusing the duty wasn’t appropriate either, so I felt conflicted. Over the next few days, I kept thinking about these things, feeling that I was under a lot of pressure, and my state was impacted. I prayed to God and sought guidance from Him.

During one of my devotionals, I read an experiential testimony article, where the protagonist kept making excuses and declining duties because he was thinking about his pride and interests, but later, he realized that duties come with God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and God observes his attitude toward duties, and he needed to submit first. I also needed to enter into the truth of submission to God first. So, I looked up a relevant passage of God’s word. I read that God’s words say: “When Noah did as God instructed, he did not know what God’s intentions were. He did not know what God wanted to accomplish. God had only given him a command and instructed him to do something, and without much explanation, Noah went ahead and did it. He did not try to secretly figure out God’s desires, nor did he resist God or show insincerity. He just went and did it accordingly with a pure and simple heart. Whatever God had him do, he did, and submitting and listening to God’s word underpinned his belief in what he did. That was how straightforwardly and simply he dealt with what God entrusted. His essence—the essence of his actions was submission, not second-guessing, not resisting, and moreover, not thinking of his own personal interests or his gains and losses. Further, when God said He would destroy the world with a flood, Noah did not ask when or ask what would become of things, and he certainly did not ask God how He was going to destroy the world. He simply did as God instructed. However God wanted it to be made and made with what, he did exactly as God asked and also commenced action immediately. He acted according to God’s instructions with an attitude of wanting to satisfy God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). From reading God’s words, I realized that being able to submit in any situation is what God requires of people and that this is the reason that created beings should possess. I saw that Noah was pure-hearted in his approach to God’s commission. He just obeyed and submitted. He didn’t consider how many difficulties he might face in building the ark, or what responsibilities he might have to bear if it wasn’t done well. He just wanted to be considerate of God’s intentions, to build the ark as God required as quickly as possible, so that God’s will could be carried out. But when a duty came upon me, my thoughts were so overwrought, and I kept thinking about my difficulties, my future, and my destination. I thought that being a supervisor was too risky and would make me liable to transgress, and that if I committed too many transgressions, I wouldn’t have a good outcome. When I had these thoughts in mind, I found that I couldn’t submit at all, and I kept wanting to make excuses to avoid this duty. Thinking about this, I felt really ashamed. I’d believed in God for so many years but still lacked basic submission. I truly had no truth realities at all. I couldn’t go on like this. Although I had difficulties and concerns, I had to first submit and take on this duty.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of my state. God says: “Judging by the attitude of antichrists toward God, toward the environments and people, events, and things arranged by God, toward God’s revealing and disciplining of them, and so on, do they have the slightest intention to seek the truth? Do they have the slightest intention to submit to God? Do they have the slightest faith that all of this is not accidental but is rather under God’s sovereignty? Do they have this understanding and awareness? Obviously not. The root of their guardedness can be said to come from their doubts about God. The root of their suspicion of God can also be said to come from their doubts about God. The results produced by their scrutiny of God make them more suspicious of God, and at the same time more guarded against God. Judging by the various thoughts and viewpoints generated from antichrists’ thinking, as well as the various approaches and behaviors produced under the domination of these thoughts and viewpoints, these people are quite simply unreasonable; they cannot understand the truth, they cannot develop genuine faith in God, they cannot thoroughly believe and acknowledge the existence of God, and they cannot believe and acknowledge that God is sovereign over all creation, that He is sovereign over everything. All of this is due to their wicked disposition essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Five: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part Two)). From God’s words, I saw that antichrists don’t believe in God’s righteousness when things happen. Instead of seeking the truth to know God’s disposition, they use human notions, imaginings, and satanic philosophies to analyze God’s work and the situations He arranges. Therefore, they become guarded and misunderstand God. This is caused by the wicked nature of antichrists. Examining myself in light of God’s words, I saw my state was the same. Seeing that the previous three supervisors had been dismissed and eliminated, I didn’t seek the truth, consider why they’d failed, or gain discernment and learn lessons from their failures. Instead, I became guarded, living by satanic philosophies like “Caution is the parent of safety,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” I felt that being a supervisor was too risky, and that if I brought about any wrongful accusations and punishments, this would be a major transgression and I wouldn’t have a good outcome or destination. I thought I had to protect myself and avoid risks, so I kept making excuses to avoid this duty. Later, I pondered, “What are God’s intentions in assigning me this duty? Supervising cleansing work does carry heavy responsibilities, but it would allow me to recognize various types of evil people, antichrists, and disbelievers, which would help me make swift progress in discerning people. Also, being a supervisor would involve handling many problems, and this would push me to seek related truth principles and equip myself with the truth, making it a great opportunity for training. But instead of seeking the truth in this matter, I’ve always been thinking that being a supervisor meant bearing greater responsibility and that I’d be revealed and eliminated more quickly, so I was full of suspicion and guardedness toward God. I’ve really wounded God’s heart!”

I then thought of a passage of God’s words: “God is righteous and fair to everyone. God doesn’t look at how you were before or at your current stature, He looks at whether you pursue the truth and whether you walk the path of pursuing the truth. … God allows you to stumble, to fail, and to make mistakes. God will give you opportunities and time to understand the truth, practice the truth, gradually understand His intentions, do everything in accordance with His intentions, truly submit to God, and achieve the truth reality that God requires people to possess. However, who is the person that God loathes the most? It is the one who, despite knowing the truth in their heart, refuses to accept it, let alone put it into practice. Instead, they still live by Satan’s philosophies, yet consider themselves to be pretty good and submissive to God while also seeking to mislead others and gain a position in God’s house. God loathes this kind of person the most, they are antichrists. Although everyone has a corrupt disposition, these actions are of a different nature. It is no ordinary corrupt disposition nor a normal revelation of corruption; rather, you consciously and stubbornly resist God to the end. You know that God exists, you believe in God, yet you deliberately choose to resist Him. This is not having notions about God and a problem of misunderstanding; instead you deliberately resist God to the end. Can God save someone like this? God does not save you. You are an enemy of God, therefore you are a devil and a Satan. Can God still save devils and Satans?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Believing in God, What Is Most Important Is to Practice and Experience His Words). From God’s words, I saw that God is fair to people. God doesn’t eliminate people for momentary mistakes or failures, but reveals and eliminates people when they persistently reject the truth and stubbornly oppose Him. I thought about how my lack of understanding of the truth had led me to make mistakes in discerning people, yet no one had sought to hold me responsible or stopped me from doing this duty because of it. God was using my mistakes to equip me with the truth in relation to discerning evil people to make up for my deficiencies. I thought more about why Lin Fang failed. Recently, I’d heard her talk about her wrong intentions in her duty. When she saw poor work results, she shifted the work off onto her partnered sister, and didn’t take responsibility herself. When the upper leadership fellowshipped and corrected her, she kept making excuses and trying to defend herself, and refused to reflect on and know herself regarding these issues. Lin Fang was dismissed not because of her mistakes, but mainly because she refused to accept the truth and was irresponsible. There were also two other supervisors. One had an arrogant disposition, was autocratic and always wanted to hold all authority, and when others didn’t listen to him, he would try to suppress and torment them. The other supervisor constantly pursued reputation and status, suppressing and excluding dissenting opinions. Both walked the path of an antichrist and were expelled for their many evil deeds. I saw that God is righteous and that He doesn’t dismiss or clear out people simply for making mistakes in their duty, but based on people’s attitude toward the truth and God, and the path they walk. From their consistent behavior, it was clear that their nature essence was averse to and hated the truth, and that they only pursued reputation and status and didn’t protect the church’s work at all, leading to God revealing and eliminating them. But I’d thought that those with status or great responsibility were more likely to be revealed and eliminated, while an ordinary brother or sister, with fewer tasks, would commit fewer transgressions because there were fewer things involved, and thus avoid being revealed and eliminated. But these were just my notions and imaginings. I was always guarding against God and avoiding my duty. Even if I committed no transgressions, if I didn’t pursue the truth, my corrupt disposition wouldn’t be cleansed or changed, and I wouldn’t receive salvation, and ultimately, I would still have no good outcome. With this in mind, I became willing to accept this duty. God allows for deviations and issues in a person’s duty, and so long as a person can seek the truth afterward, reflect on themselves, and promptly correct these deviations, God will continue to guide them. When I thought about it, I saw that I’d been doing cleansing work for quite some time, and that I’d come to understand some principles of discernment. The church work urgently needed people to cooperate, so I had to consider God’s intentions and do my best to cooperate, as this was the reason and submission I had to have. But my mind was filled only with thoughts of my own interests, outcome, and destination. I’d been so selfish and despicable!

Later on, I read more of God’s words: “In what way is treating the pursuit of blessings as an objective wrong? It flies completely in the face of the truth, and is not congruent with God’s intention to save people. Since being blessed is not an appropriate objective for people to pursue, what is an appropriate objective? The pursuit of the truth, the pursuit of changes in disposition, and being able to submit to all of God’s orchestrations and arrangements: these are the objectives that people should pursue. Say, for example, being pruned causes you to have notions and misunderstandings, and you become incapable of submission. Why can’t you submit? Because you feel that your destination or your dream of being blessed has been challenged. You become negative and upset, and try to get out of doing your duty. What is the reason for this? There is a problem with your pursuit. So how should this be solved? It is imperative that you immediately abandon these mistaken ideas, and that you immediately seek the truth to solve the problem of your corrupt disposition. You should say to yourself, ‘I must not quit, I must still do well the duty that a created being ought to, and put aside my desire to be blessed.’ When you relinquish the desire to be blessed and you walk the path of pursuing the truth, a weight is lifted off your shoulders. And will you still be capable of negativity? Even though there are still times when you are negative, you don’t let this constrain you, and in your heart, you keep praying and fighting, changing the objective of your pursuit from the pursuit of being blessed and having a destination, to the pursuit of the truth, and you think to yourself, ‘The pursuit of the truth is the duty of a created being. To understand certain truths today—there is no greater harvest, this is the greatest blessing of all. Even if God does not want me, and I do not have a good destination, and my hopes of being blessed are shattered, I shall still do my duty properly, I am obligated to. Whatever the reason, it will not impact my performance of my duty, it will not affect my accomplishment of God’s commission; this is the principle by which I conduct myself.’ And in this, have you not transcended the constraints of the flesh?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Practice of the Truth Is There Life Entry). “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he receives blessings or suffers misfortune. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. Receiving blessings refers to when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. Suffering misfortune refers to when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment; they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they receive blessings or suffer misfortune, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to receive blessings, and you should not refuse to act for fear of suffering misfortune. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness. It is through the process of doing his duty that man is gradually changed, and it is through this process that he demonstrates his loyalty. As such, the more you are able to do your duty, the more truth you shall receive, and the more real your expression shall become. Those who merely go through the motions in doing their duty and do not seek the truth shall be eliminated in the end, for such people do not do their duty in the practice of truth, and do not practice truth in the performance of their duty. They are those who remain unchanged and will suffer misfortune. Not only are their expressions impure, but everything they express is evil” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). From God’s words, I saw that regardless of whether a person receives blessings or suffers misfortune, it is perfectly natural and justified for a created being to do their duty. Since people follow God, they should fulfill their responsibilities, as this is how to live a valuable and meaningful life. God’s intentions are for people to enter into the truth reality through their duty. In the course of one’s duty, various corrupt dispositions will be revealed, and many shortcomings will be exposed. Through this opportunity, one can seek the truth and reflect on oneself, and thereby be cleansed and transformed. Even though I was facing difficulties in training as a supervisor now, I could rely more on God, focus on seeking the truth, do my duty according to principles, carry out my responsibilities, and show my loyalty. If after a period of training, I ended up being reassigned due to inadequate caliber, I wouldn’t have any regrets.

Moving forward, as I did the duty of a supervisor, whether I faced difficulties or had deviations in my duty, I saw it as a good opportunity to gain the truth, fellowshipped on and summarized these things with my brothers and sisters, and sought relevant truth principles. Gradually, the truths I didn’t understand before became clearer, and I made some progress. I am no longer guarded against God, and I just want to practically learn lessons in every situation God arranges. I thank God for allowing me to make real gains and obtain some actual insights.