By Frank, South Korea

I’m currently responsible for the church’s video work. When starting out, after a period of practice, I came to grasp some of the principles and made some progress with my skills. Soon, I was frequently discovering issues in our work, and in work discussions my suggestions were often accepted by the others. After a while, I got a bit smug. I believed in myself more and more, feeling that I had some caliber, a fairly pure understanding of the principles, and a comprehensive perspective on issues. Although I wasn’t a church leader and wasn’t in charge of any major work, I figured being able to manage our team’s projects wasn’t bad.

I noticed that my partner, Brother Justin, had been passive in his duty for a while. I always took the lead in our work discussions and team learning, and had disdain for him for not carrying a burden. While discussing work, I’d often disregard Justin’s suggestions and reject his views. I thought, “I’m working with you, but we still end up going with my ideas most of the time, so I may as well do things myself.” After a while, I fully took over Justin’s responsibilities. In our work discussions, when the others didn’t adopt my suggestions, I’d stress repeatedly that my perspective was correct, and sometimes I’d present rules or doctrines as proof to get them to listen to me. After the fact, I would get a little uneasy, feeling like I was always forcing others to listen to me. Wasn’t that showing an arrogant disposition? Sometimes I’d try to accept other people’s suggestions, but in the end my thinking would still be proven right, so I became even more self-assured. Even if sometimes I realized I was showing an arrogant disposition, I wouldn’t take it to heart, thinking, “I may be a little arrogant, but I’m also right! My intent is only to get our work done well, so a little arrogance shouldn’t be too big of a deal, right?” During that time, I didn’t feel comfortable with anything the others did. I felt they weren’t skilled enough and didn’t see the full picture in their considerations. If their ideas weren’t the same as mine, I’d shoot them down without a second thought and look down my nose at them. Once, a video that a sister had produced went through several rounds of editing and still didn’t turn out great. Instead of asking her about any difficulties she might have run into, I just started scolding her, “Were you being at all attentive in this? Can’t you just look at what others have done and learn from them?” Sometimes, when the brothers and sisters shared an idea for making a video, I’d reject it summarily before I even understood what they were talking about. As a result, the brothers and sisters were all afraid to work with me and wouldn’t even dare to send their finished videos for me to watch. Another time, a sister gathered materials and planned a team study session. I gave them a quick glance, and without discussing them with anyone else, totally disparaged the materials she’d found, saying they weren’t worth studying. In reality, even though the learning materials she’d found weren’t perfect, they would have still been helpful for skill building. A sister later pointed out that my doing things without any discussion with others showed an arrogant disposition. At the time I didn’t know myself at all, thinking I’d just failed to ask for input, and that paying more attention in the future would be enough. I even thought, “I’m the one handling and resolving most of the problems in our work. I have final say in most matters, large and small, so without my oversight, our team’s work would be a mess. Even though I’m technically paired together with others, I’m really more like the team supervisor.” That thought made me feel like I was different from the others, that I was at the helm. It made me even more arrogant. Once, a couple of sisters and I set up an appointment with another team to discuss work, but something came up at the last minute and I couldn’t attend, so I had them go without me. Surprisingly, they panicked as soon as they heard I couldn’t go, saying they couldn’t take on that responsibility alone, so they’d wait until I had time.

Afterward, a sister said to me, “You have final say in everything for the team now, big and small. When anyone runs into a problem, they don’t seek the truth, they just rely on you. They feel they can’t do without you. Don’t you think you should do some self-reflection? Things can’t go on like this!” I couldn’t settle my feelings for quite a while after hearing her say that, thinking, “My brothers and sisters feel they can’t do without me; everything has to go through me. Isn’t that exercising control over the team? That’s antichrist behavior! But, my intentions for everything I’ve done were just to get the work done well. How could it have turned out this way? How can I best understand this?” Feeling confused and negative, I shared my state with God, asking for His enlightenment and guidance. Then, the others sent me a passage of God’s word exposing antichrists’ dispositions that really fit my state. God says: “The most common phenomenon of the antichrist’s control is that within their sphere of authority, they alone have the final say. If they are not present, nobody dares to make decisions or settle a matter. Without them, others become like lost children, ignorant of how to pray, seek, or confer with each other, behaving like puppets or dead people. … The antichrist’s strategy is to always appear novel and unique and make grandiose claims. No matter how correct someone else’s statements are, they will reject them. Even though other people’s suggestions are consistent with their own ideas, if they weren’t proposed by them first, they will never acknowledge or adopt them. Instead, they will do everything they can to belittle them, then negate and condemn them, persistently criticizing them until the person offering the suggestions feels that their ideas were wrong and admits their own mistake. Only then will the antichrist finally let it go. Antichrists enjoy establishing themselves while belittling others, aiming to make others worship them and put them at the center. They allow only themselves to shine, while others can only stand in the background. Whatever they say or do is right, and whatever others say or do is wrong. They often put forward novel viewpoints to negate others’ viewpoints and actions, finding fault with others’ suggestions and disrupting and rejecting others’ proposals. This way, other people must listen to them and act according to their plans. They use these methods and strategies to persistently deny you, attack you, and make you feel like you’re incompetent, thereby making you increasingly more submissive to them, admiring them more and holding them in higher esteem. That way, you become thoroughly controlled by them. This is the process through which antichrists subdue and control people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Five: They Mislead, Draw In, Threaten, and Control People). After reading this, I held myself up to what God said. I’d been responsible for the team’s work for all that time, but the others still couldn’t do their duties in line with the principles, instead asking me about everything they did. Without me, they didn’t dare make any final decisions or communicate with other teams. They were all constrained by me. Wasn’t I harming them? What had I done and said that led to this outcome? Whether we were discussing work or talking through ideas, if anyone had a perspective different from mine, I’d find a number of reasons to shoot them down, never fellowshipping on truth principles. I didn’t exalt or bear witness to God, I just made everyone listen to me. When I thought something was right, I’d become aggressive and overbearing. I was disdainful whenever I saw gaps in the others’ skills, and I was both overtly and covertly condescending. I wanted to force everyone to listen to me, and if they didn’t, I’d stress that I was skilled and understood the principles. After a while of always negating and devaluing others and elevating myself, the brothers and sisters all felt like they were no good, and didn’t have a perspective as complete as mine, so they’d come ask me about everything. Really thinking about it, oftentimes the plans they suggested were just fine. Even if they weren’t entirely perfect, I still could have helped improve them. But instead, I insisted on emphasizing that I was right and rejected the others’ ideas, thinking I did so for the sake of our work. I was so arrogant and lacking in self-awareness!

Later, I read another passage of God’s word: “Once people have grown arrogant in nature and essence, they can often rebel against and resist God, not heed His words, generate notions about Him, do things that betray Him, and things that exalt and bear testimony to themselves. You say you are not arrogant, but suppose you were given a church and allowed to lead it; suppose that I did not prune you, and that no one in God’s family criticized or helped you: After leading it a while, you would bring people to your feet and make them obey you, even to the point of admiring and revering you. And why would you do that? This would be determined by your nature; it would be none other than a natural revelation. You do not have any need to learn this from others, nor is there any need for them to teach it to you. You do not need others to instruct you or compel you to do this; this kind of situation comes about naturally. Everything you do is about making people exalt you, praise you, worship you, obey you, and listen to you in all things. Allowing you to be a leader naturally brings about this situation, and it cannot be changed. And how does this situation come about? It is determined by man’s arrogant nature. The manifestation of arrogance is rebellion and resistance against God. When people are arrogant, conceited, and self-righteous, they tend to set up their own independent kingdoms and do things in whatever way they want. They also bring others into their own hands and draw them into their embraces. For people to be capable of doing such arrogant things, it just proves that the essence of their arrogant nature is that of Satan; it is that of the archangel. When their arrogance and conceit reach a certain level, they no longer have a place for God in their hearts, and God is put aside. They then wish to be God, make people obey them, and they become the archangel. If you possess such a satanic arrogant nature, God will have no place in your heart. Even if you believe in God, God will no longer recognize you, will view you as an evil person, and will eliminate you” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. An Arrogant Nature Is at the Root of Man’s Resistance to God). I learned from God’s word that my arrogant nature was keeping me from coordinating with the brothers and sisters. I realized that this arrogant, self-important nature came naturally, so I didn’t need to do or learn anything in particular, and could still get everyone to listen to me. Thinking about my time doing my duty with the other brothers and sisters, whether we were making suggestions for videos or organizing work, I always thought I had the best ideas. When I noticed that Justin was passive in his duty, I didn’t help him through fellowshipping the truth. Instead, I looked down on him in my heart for having poor caliber and no burden, and just took complete charge of everything, as if I were the only one who could get things done, not anyone else. When I saw areas where others’ skills were lacking, I scorned them for lacking caliber and understanding, as if my understanding were the most accurate, and I knew the principles best. I was always belittling others and putting myself on a pedestal, presenting my thoughts and opinions to them as if they were the truth. After a while, the others felt like they couldn’t do anything themselves, to the point where they came to me for everything, completely relying on me. If I wasn’t there, they didn’t dare move forward. I read in God’s words: “When their arrogance and conceit reach a certain level, they no longer have a place for God in their hearts, and God is put aside. They then wish to be God, make people obey them, and they become the archangel” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. An Arrogant Nature Is at the Root of Man’s Resistance to God). Faced with the revelation of God’s words, I felt ashamed and guilty. I realized I had a very serious problem. I put myself up on a pedestal, always thinking I had gifts and caliber, that I wasn’t a regular person. I thought I naturally had the material to be in charge, to captain the ship, and that the others lacked caliber and should listen to me. Thinking about these thoughts and ideas of mine scared me and nauseated me. I really knew no shame! We were working together to do our duties, all accepting God’s leadership and submitting to the truth principles, but I was making everyone accept my leadership and submit to me. Wasn’t I in the wrong, here? I’d become so arrogant that I’d lost all reason. In “The Ten Administrative Decrees That Must Be Obeyed by God’s Chosen People in the Age of Kingdom,” God says: “Man should not magnify himself, nor exalt himself. He should worship and exalt God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God). In my heart, I always felt I stood on a higher level than the rest of the team, always placing myself above the other brothers and sisters. I was standing in the wrong place—I was putting myself on a pedestal. This thought truly alarmed and scared me. I said a prayer right away, “God, I’m too arrogant and self-assured. I offended Your disposition without being remotely aware of it. I’d like to repent, to take the place I should, and do my duty well.” My supervisor came to fellowship with me later on. He said a few brothers and sisters had mentioned they felt really constrained working with me. They said I was disdainful and looked down on others, and always shot down others’ ideas, some of them even saying, “I’ve seen arrogant people before, but never anyone this arrogant.” These words went straight to the heart for me. I’d never imagined the brothers and sisters saw me as that sort of person, that I’d constrained them and hurt them so much. For a few days after that, I felt like I had a knife in my heart. Particularly during our work discussion, when no one else dared speak up and the atmosphere was particularly chilly, I felt even more reproved. I knew this was entirely due to the constraints I’d placed on them. In my pain and misery, I came before God in prayer, asking Him to guide and lead me to genuine self-reflection and entry.

I read a passage of God’s words in my devotionals that gave me a better understanding of myself. God’s words say: “Some leaders never work according to the principles, they are a law unto themselves, arbitrary and rash. The brothers and sisters may point this out, and say, ‘You rarely consult anyone before you take action. We don’t know what your judgments and decisions are until after you’ve made them. Why don’t you discuss them with anyone? Why don’t you let us know ahead of time when you make a decision? Even if what you’re doing is right and your caliber is greater than ours, you should still inform us about it first. At the least, we have a right to know what’s going on. By always acting as a law unto yourself you’re walking the path of an antichrist!’ And what would you hear the leader say to that? ‘In my house, I’m the boss. All matters, great and small, are decided by me. That’s what I’m used to. When anyone in my extended family has an issue, they come to me and have me decide what to do. They know that I’m good at solving problems. That’s why I’m in charge of my family’s affairs. When I joined the church, I thought I wouldn’t have to bother with things anymore, but then I was chosen to be a leader. I can’t help it—I was born to this fate. God gave me this skill. I was born to make decisions and to call the shots for other people.’ The implication here is that they were destined to be an official, and other people were born to be foot soldiers and slaves. They think that they should get the final say, and that other people should listen to them. Even when the brothers and sisters see this leader’s problem and point it out to them, they will not accept it, nor will they accept being pruned. They will fight and resist until the brothers and sisters clamor for their removal. All the while, the leader will be thinking, ‘With a caliber like mine, I’m fated to be in charge wherever I go. With calibers like yours, you’ll always be slaves and servants. It’s your fate to be ordered around by other people.’ What kind of disposition are they revealing by often saying such things? Clearly, it is a corrupt disposition, it is arrogance, self-conceit, and extreme egotism, yet they shamelessly show it off and flaunt it as though it were a strength and an asset. When a person reveals a corrupt disposition, they should reflect on themselves, know their corrupt disposition, repent, and rebel against it, and they should pursue the truth until they can act according to the principles. But that is not how this leader practices. Instead, they remain incorrigible, sticking to their own views and methods. From these behaviors, you can see that they do not accept the truth at all and that they are absolutely not someone who pursues it. They do not listen to anyone who exposes and prunes them, and instead they remain full of self-justifications: ‘Hmph—this is just how I am! It’s called competence and talent—do any of you have those? I’m fated to be in charge. Wherever I go, I’m a leader. I’m used to having the final say and making decisions about everything without consulting other people. That’s just who I am, it’s my personal charm.’ Is this not wanton shamelessness? They do not admit that they have a corrupt disposition, and they clearly do not acknowledge the words of God that judge and expose man. On the contrary, they take their own heresies and fallacies to be the truth, and try to make everyone else accept and revere them. Deep down, they believe that they should rule in God’s house, not the truth, that they should call the shots there. Is this not brazen shamelessness?” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (1)). I was embarrassed in the face of this revelation from God’s word. Wasn’t this exactly how I acted? I had some skills and appeared to have a little intelligence and caliber, so I thought I should have final say. The way I saw it, the other brothers and sisters couldn’t do anything well, and I didn’t even take it seriously when someone pointed out my problems. I thought I was only arrogant because I had caliber and my suggestions were right. I didn’t know myself at all. In fact, there were a lot of times when I didn’t see the issue accurately or consider the full picture, like when I dismissed the learning materials my sister gathered as useless, while the others found that they did have some reference value, and gave some good suggestions. And even though I did have the right idea in some things, I still shouldn’t have forced others to accept it out of arrogance. I should have fellowshipped on the principles, and on my personal understanding and views. Then, if everyone felt what I said was suitable, they’d naturally accept it. Instead, I was arrogant and self-assured, didn’t see the others’ strengths, and didn’t self-reflect. I was often making internal calculations of which things I’d made the right decisions on, and which issues I’d discovered and resolved in our work. The more I calculated these achievements, the more I felt I was better than the others. My arrogance intensified and I looked down on other people more and more. I even thought I was made for the role of supervisor, so I was high and mighty, and wanted to have final say in everything. I was so arrogant and unreasonable and hadn’t changed my satanic disposition one bit. I couldn’t even get along with others normally. What did I have to be arrogant about? Feeling so pleased with myself like that really was pathetic! Looking back on all of it, I saw how aggressive and overbearing I’d been and was filled with regret.

There was another passage of God’s words I read later: “Would you say it is difficult to fulfill one’s duty adequately? In fact, it is not; people must only be able to take a stance of humility, possess a bit of sense, and adopt an appropriate position. No matter how educated you are, what awards you have won, or what you have achieved, and no matter how high your status and rank might be, you must let go of all of these things, you must get off your high horse—this all counts for nothing. In God’s house, however great these glories are, they cannot be higher than the truth, for these superficial things are not the truth, and cannot take its place. You must be clear about this issue. If you say, ‘I am very gifted, I have a very sharp mind, I have quick reflexes, I am a quick learner, and I have an exceedingly good memory, so I am qualified to make the final decision,’ if you always use these things as capital, and see them as precious, and as positive, then this is trouble. If your heart is occupied by these things, if they have taken root in your heart, it will be hard for you to accept the truth—and the consequences of that don’t bear thinking about. Thus, you must first put down and deny those things that you love, that seem nice, that are precious to you. Those things are not the truth; rather, they can block you from entering the truth. The most pressing thing now is that you must seek the truth in performing your duty, and practice according to the truth, such that your performance of your duty becomes adequate, for the adequate performance of duty is merely the first step onto the path of life entry. What does ‘the first step’ mean here? It means to begin a journey. In all things, there is something with which to begin the journey, something that is most basic, most fundamental, and achieving the adequate performance of duty is a path of life entry. If your performance of duty merely seems fitting in how it is done, but is not in line with the truth principles, then you are not performing your duty adequately. So how, then, is one to work on this? One must work on and seek the truth principles; being equipped with the truth principles is what is crucial. If you merely improve your behavior and your temper, but are not equipped with the truth realities, it is useless. You may have something of a gift or specialty. That is a good thing—but only by putting it to use in performing your duty are you using it properly. Performing your duty well does not require an improvement in your humanity or personality, nor that you set aside your gift or talent. That is not what is required. What is crucial is that you understand the truth and learn to submit to God. It is all but inevitable that you will reveal corrupt disposition as you perform your duty. What should you do at such times? You must seek the truth to resolve the problem and come to act in line with the truth principles. Do this, and it will not be a problem for you to perform your duty well. Whatever realm your gift or specialty is in, or wherever you may have some vocational knowledge, using these things in the performance of a duty is most proper—it is the only way to perform your duty well. One prong is relying on conscience and reason to perform your duty, and the other is that you must seek the truth to resolve your corrupt disposition. One gains life entry by performing their duty in this way, and they become able to perform their duty adequately” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). Pondering God’s words, I learned that God doesn’t measure whether someone is doing their duty up to standard by how much they appear to have done, or whether it was done right, but instead measures it according to what path they take in their duty, and whether they seek and practice the truth. I also learned that to resolve an arrogant disposition and do my duty up to standard, first I had to set aside those gifts and strengths that I was proud of, and come before God to seek the truth. If I just kept relying on my caliber and gifts to do things, without seeking the truth or following principles, God wouldn’t approve regardless of how much I did. Before, I looked down on the others for lacking skills and caliber. When I saw them make any little mistake or do something imperfectly, I was full of disdain and scorn for them, both openly and internally. But when the videos I produced went back for multiple revisions and the others gave me suggestions, no one looked down on me, but instead patiently told me what needed improving. Also, I hardly ever accepted the suggestions of the people I was partnered with, and though some brothers and sisters didn’t have great gifts or caliber, they sought the principles in their duty, humbly listened to others’ suggestions, and could cooperate in harmony. Viewing my own behavior against theirs, I felt so embarrassed. I saw how lacking I was in my entry into the truth. In my duty after that, when there was a disagreement between me and the others, I practiced putting myself aside, trying instead to seek the truth principles, seeing it as a chance to practice the truth.

Later on, I was discussing an issue with a couple of sisters, and we had different ideas. I thought I had the best idea and was thinking about what I could say to prove that I was right, how to convince them. I suddenly realized that I was displaying an arrogant disposition again, wanting to use my own opinion to negate others’ ideas. I quickly said a prayer, asking God to guide me in setting myself aside and listening to the others’ suggestions. I thought of God’s word: “In the church, it is possible that the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment and guidance may come upon any one of those who understand the truth and who have the comprehension ability. You should grab hold of the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment and illumination, following it closely and cooperating intimately with it. In doing so, you will be walking the most correct path; it is the path guided by the Holy Spirit. Pay special attention to how the Holy Spirit works in and guides those who He works upon. You should often fellowship with others, making suggestions and expressing your own views—this is your duty and your freedom. But in the end, when a decision is to be made, if it is you alone who makes the final verdict, having everyone do as you say and go along with your will, then you are violating the principles. You should make the correct choice based on what the majority thinks, and then make the decision. If the suggestions of the majority do not accord with the truth principles, you should hold to the truth. Only this accords with the truth principles” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I saw from God’s words that providing ideas and making videos is my duty, but deciding which plan is best isn’t up to any one person. The brothers and sisters have to discuss and decide on that together, then go with the best suggestion. I felt really at peace once I put those realizations into practice. Once that video was made, even though the others did end up going with my version, I didn’t look down on the two sisters because of that. I felt that through this process, I’d finally practiced the truth without living by my arrogant disposition. I experienced the fact that God doesn’t only look at what is right or wrong; what’s more important is what disposition people live by. If someone is right but displays an arrogant disposition, God detests that.

Afterward, when I tried seriously considering other people’s ideas, I realized that my brothers’ and sisters’ suggestions actually had many aspects that could be utilized; they simply looked at things from a different perspective than I did. Before, I’d always thought other people weren’t looking at the full picture because I was only looking at things from my own perspective, and hardly ever truly listened to others’ ideas. Then, I realized that everyone has strengths, and there are things I can learn from them. I don’t want to keep haughtily believing in myself. Instead, I am ready to work well with my brothers and sisters, seek the truth, listen to their suggestions more, and collaborate in our duty to do it well.