By Li Min, China

In February 2019, I was dismissed from my leadership duty because I pursued reputation and status instead of doing real work. The day after my dismissal, the husband of the sister from my host family was injured in an accident, and she needed to return home to take care of him. The supervisor arranged for me to temporarily take over her hosting duties. I thought to myself, “If the brothers and sisters find out that after my dismissal, I’m now just doing hosting duties, cooking, running errands, and delivering messages, what will they think of me? They’d be sure to look down on me. How can I save face?” But as I thought of this duty as only temporary, I agreed to do it for the time being. However, when no suitable person was found to replace me after several weeks, the supervisor fellowshipped with me and asked me to continue doing hosting duties. When I heard this, my heart churned, as I thought, “Why arrange things this way? If the brothers and sisters who know me find out that I will be doing hosting duties long-term, they’ll definitely look down on me. Won’t they say I’m not someone who pursues the truth, and that I’m good for nothing but manual labor and hosting duties? How will I be able to save face? Moreover, before I was dismissed, I cooperated with a few sisters to do our duties. And now, here I am, just cooking. What a difference! It’s utterly humiliating!” Thinking of this, I became unwilling to do hosting duties. The supervisor saw that I was in a bad state and fellowshipped her own experience of being dismissed. I realized that every duty is out of God’s sovereignty and arrangements, so I submitted. But that night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. I thought to myself, “Since I found God, most of my duties have been as a leader or worker. I never thought I’d end up just doing odd jobs and cooking. What will the brothers and sisters who know me think of me if they find out? That would be utterly humiliating!” I saw the sisters discussing work together, and I remembered that when I was a leader, I used to work with them on such discussions. But now, here I was, spending my days washing dishes, cooking, and even cleaning. What a difference! I was living in a wrong state, and the more I thought about it, the more painful it became. Afterward, whenever I did these dirty jobs, I was afraid that the sisters would look down on me, so I’d rush to do them when they weren’t around. I felt that doing such dirty work was humiliating. My heart was filled with pain and suffering, and tears streamed down my face involuntarily.

One day, the supervisor asked me to take out the trash when I went out. When I heard this, I felt very resistant, thinking, “What do you take me for? We used to cooperate together, but now you’re ordering me around like this.” The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I was very upset inside. I came before God and prayed, asking God to enlighten and guide me to know myself and understand His intentions. Later, I read these words of God’s words: “What is the attitude you should have toward your duty, that can be called correct and in line with the intentions of God? First, you cannot analyze who it is arranged by, which level of leadership it is assigned by—you should accept it from God. You cannot analyze this, you should accept it from God. This is a condition. Furthermore, whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive. What attitude should you have toward your duty? First, you must not analyze it, trying to ascertain who it was that assigned it to you; instead, you should accept it from God, as a duty entrusted to you by God, and you should obey the orchestration and arrangements of God, and accept your duty from God. Second, do not discriminate between high and low, and do not concern yourself with its nature, whether it lets you stand out or not, whether it is done in public view or behind the scenes. Do not consider these things. There is also another attitude: submission and active cooperation” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). “Being able to endure hardship in performing one’s duty is not an easy task. It is also not easy to perform a particular kind of work well. It is certain that the truth of God’s words is at work within people who can do these things. It is not that they were born without fear of hardship and fatigue. Where could such a person be found? These people all have some motivation, and they have some of the truth of God’s words as their foundation. When they take up their duties, their views and standpoints change—performing their duties becomes easier and enduring some fleshly hardship and fatigue begins to feel insignificant to them. Those who do not understand the truth and whose views on things haven’t changed live according to human ideas, notions, selfish desires, and personal preferences, so they are reluctant and unwilling to perform their duties. For example, when it comes to doing dirty and tiring work, some people say, ‘I will obey the arrangements of God’s house. Whatever duty the church arranges for me, I will perform it, regardless of whether it is dirty or tiring, whether it is impressive or unremarkable. I have no demands, and I will accept it as my duty. This is the commission that God has entrusted to me, and a little dirt and fatigue are the hardships that I should endure.’ As a result, when they are engaged in their work, they don’t feel they are enduring any hardship at all. While others may find it dirty and tiring, they find it easy, because their hearts are calm and undisturbed. They are doing it for God, so they don’t feel that it is difficult. Some people consider doing dirty, tiring, or unremarkable work an insult to their status and character. They perceive it as others not respecting them, bullying them, or looking down on them. As a result, even when faced with the same tasks and workload, they find it strenuous. Whatever they do, they carry a sense of resentment in their hearts, and feel that things are not the way they want them to be or that they are unsatisfactory. Inside, they are full of negativity and resistance. Why are they negative and resistant? What is the root of it? Most often, it’s because performing their duties doesn’t earn them a salary; it feels like working for free. If there were rewards, it might be acceptable for them, but they do not know whether they will get them or not. Therefore, people feel that performing duties is not worthwhile, equating it to working for nothing, so they often become negative and resistant when it comes to performing duties. Is this not the case? Frankly speaking, these people are unwilling to perform duties” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God exposes that when some people receive some duties, they can’t accept them from God and instead choose their duties based on their own preferences. They accept duties that allow them to stand out, but resist and reject those that don’t bring them recognition. They have no attitude of submission in their duties. What God exposed was precisely my state. I believed that being a leader came with the right to speak, and that wherever I went, I would be looked up to by my brothers and sisters, so I was willing to cooperate in that duty. However, I felt that hosting duty was among the lowest, and that it just consisted of manual labor, so I couldn’t bring myself to submit to it. I felt that this duty humiliated me, and I felt wronged. When the supervisor asked me to clean the yard and take out the trash, I found it hard to accept. I felt she was disrespecting me by ordering me around, and it upset me. I used status levels as a measure of whether a person had dignity. I thought that doing the duty of a leader was like being a company’s boss or manager, and that it came with status and position, and that these people were admired wherever they went, and I envied such people. When I heard about hosting duties, it felt to me like just doing chores and cooking, similar to menial work, and I felt that people who did this duty were lowly and looked down upon wherever they went. I found this duty humiliating. I’d believed in God for so many years, yet I still held the same views as nonbelievers. These views of mine were truly absurd! In God’s house, everyone is equal in their duties. There’s no distinction in duties in terms of high or low, noble or menial, big or small. Whether it’s the duty of leadership or hosting, they all come from God. They just serve different functions, and as created beings, we should accept and submit to them. But in my duties, I only considered my own interests and pride. I didn’t treat my duties as a commission from God at all. Because hosting duty didn’t allow me to stand out, I was resistant toward it. I had no sense of responsibility toward my duties and just did things perfunctorily. I saw that I was really selfish and despicable, and that I had no conscience or reason!

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been infected by society to a severe extent, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy for worldly dealings, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day, and there is not a single person who will willingly give up anything for God, not a single person who will willingly submit to God, nor, moreover, a single person who will willingly seek the appearance of God. Instead, under the power of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud. Even when they hear the truth, those who live in darkness give no thought to putting it into practice, nor are they inclined to seek out God even if they have beheld His appearance. How could a mankind so depraved have any chance of salvation? How could a mankind so decadent live in the light?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God). God’s words exposed the root of why I couldn’t submit to Him. From a young age, I’d been influenced by satanic poisons like “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark” and “Man struggles upward; water flows downward” and they had become the criteria by which I comported myself and behaved. I believed that people must live for their pride, and that being able to be looked up to no matter where they go was how a person can live with dignity. I also wanted to do work that would allow me to stand out and be admired by others, and I thought this was how to live with dignity and value. But to me, doing dirty or unrecognized work felt lowly and belittling, so I was unwilling to accept it. Before I found God, I lived by these views, always wanting to live better than others. I looked down on farmers and laborers who earned money through hard work, and I felt that running a clothing business was more respectable than physical labor, and could allow me to hold my head high in front of others, and even make my friends and relatives come to see me in a new light. After finding God, I still lived by these satanic poisons while doing my duties in the church. Doing the duty of leadership satisfied my vanity and pride and allowed me to be admired by my brothers and sisters, and that made me happy. I was even willing to endure some hardship and exhaustion for it. But after doing the duty of leadership, I kept seeking admiration from others, always trying to protect my pride and status. I didn’t do any real work, and so I was dismissed. When I was given a duty again, I didn’t know to cherish it. Not only did I not reflect on the reasons for my failure, but I still kept thinking about my pride and status. I thought that doing hosting duties was shameful, and even when I reluctantly accepted it, I did it in a resistant and perfunctory way. I had no conscience or reason at all. I placed my pride and status above all else, and even when I knew no one else could take on hosting duties, I still wanted to refuse and shirk them. I didn’t consider the church’s interests at all, nor did I think about my duties and responsibilities. I was utterly selfish! If I didn’t repent, I’d end up despised and eliminated by God. I realized the harmful consequences of pursuing pride and status, and I became willing to repent to God, to let go of my pride and status, and to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements by doing these hosting duties well.

After that, I no longer felt so resistant when doing hosting duties. Sometimes, I was even able to open up and fellowship with the sisters, and I felt much freer and more liberated. I saw that my sisters didn’t look down on me because I was doing hosting duties, and I truly realized that in God’s house, there’s no distinction of high or low duties. The functions are simply different. Later, I read more of God’s words: “In God’s house, whenever something is arranged for you to do, be it a hardship or tiring work, and whether you like it or not, it is your duty. If you can consider it a commission and responsibility that God has given you, you are then relevant to His work of saving man. And if what you do and the duty you perform are relevant to God’s work of saving man, and you can earnestly and sincerely accept the commission God has given you, how will He regard you? He will regard you as a member of His family. Is that a blessing or a curse? (A blessing.) It is a great blessing” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). “What is your function as created beings? This relates to a person’s practice and duty. You are a created being, and if God gave you the gift of song, and the house of God arranges for you to sing, then you are to sing well. If you have the gift of evangelism, and the house of God arranges for you to spread the gospel, then you should spread the gospel well. When God’s chosen people elect you as a leader, you should take up the commission of leadership, and lead God’s chosen people to eat and drink the words of God, fellowship on the truth, and enter into reality. In doing so, you will have performed your duty well. The commission God gives to man is extremely important and meaningful! So, how should you take up this commission and fulfill your function? This is one of the biggest issues you face, and you must make a choice. It can be said that this is a crucial moment which decides whether you can gain the truth and be perfected by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Understanding the Truth Can One Know God’s Deeds). From God’s words, I found a path of practice, and I understood the position created beings should take before God, along with the proper reason we ought to possess. No matter what duty the church arranges, whether it’s hosting duty or any other duty, we should submit to God unconditionally. This is the proper reason we should have. No matter the size of the duty, if we can submit and treat it as a responsibility given by God, rely on God and do our best to cooperate we will make gains. For instance, some brothers and sisters may do less visible duties, but they don’t seek to stand out. They focus on seeking the truth and doing their duties according to principles, and they still make progress. If someone doesn’t pursue the truth or submit while doing their duty, then no matter how impressive their duty may seem, if they don’t gain the truth or experience a change in their disposition, they are still opposed to God, and they will ultimately be eliminated by God. Every duty in God’s house is important and indispensable. Just like how a machine can’t function with even a single screw missing. Hosting duties may seem insignificant, but without someone doing it, brothers and sisters wouldn’t have a quiet environment in which to gather and do their duties. Realizing this, I began to cherish my hosting duty from the bottom of my heart, and I became willing to cooperate properly.

From then on, whenever I had incorrect intentions in my duty, I consciously prayed to God to rebel against myself. After completing my duty each day, I would quiet myself, read God’s words, and write devotional notes. I had more time to be close to God. Gradually, my state improved, and I came to feel that this duty was quite good. I truly experienced God’s painstaking intentions, because whatever orchestrations and arrangements God makes are meant to cleanse and transform us. God doesn’t show favoritism, and no matter what duty a person does, as long as they accept it from God and are willing to submit and pursue the truth, they will make gains.

Reflecting on this experience, I silently thanked God in my heart. God arranged this environment for me to do hosting duties, pruned me for my desire for pride and status, and corrected my fallacious views on how to approach my duty. This was something my life needed, and it was God’s love. I also came to understand that duties aren’t ranked in terms of importance or value, and that no matter what kind of duty we do, they are the function that created beings should carry out. We shouldn’t do our duties based on personal preferences, nor should we be selective. We should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, as this is what it means to have humanity and reason. The understanding and transformation I’ve gained in this have all come as a result of the guidance of God’s words.