By Wang Zhiying, China

In my early years, because I worked as a civil servant in the government, my husband was a high school teacher and our daughter was a cute, smart little girl who got good grades, everyone envied us for having such a seemingly perfect and harmonious family. Then, toward the end of 2005, I had the fortune of accepting Almighty God’s work of the last days and came to know that Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus, and He expresses the truth to do the work of judgment to purify, save, and bring man into the kingdom of God. I brought this wonderful news to my husband and mother-in-law and my mother-in-law soon also accepted God’s work of the last days. Despite not accepting himself, my husband didn’t object to our faith. During that time, I would read God’s words every day, fellowship the truth with my brothers and sisters and do my duty—those were rich, rewarding and happy days. I never imagined that those days would quickly come to an end due to the CCP’s persecution.

One afternoon in 2006, after I’d just gotten home from a gathering, my husband angrily said to me, “I used to think that having faith in God was a good thing, but I just saw on the internet that the government is cracking down on believers hard. The Church of Almighty God is a major target of the government’s crackdown, and if arrested, you’ll be considered a serious offender and sentenced to jail time. Any civil servant who has family members that believe in Almighty God will be severely punished, stripped of their job, their social welfare will be revoked, and their children will not be able to apply to university, serve in the military or apply for civil servant positions. Starting from today, you are no longer allowed to believe in Almighty God!” Having finished his tirade, he stormed out of the house. I was quite angry and thought to myself, “In our faith, all we do is eat and drink God’s words, pursue the truth and walk the right path, we don’t do anything unlawful. Yet, despite that, the CCP still aims to arrest and oppress us—how evil they are! No matter how they persecute me, I will continue to follow Almighty God!”

The next day, upon finishing my duty and returning home, my stern-faced mother-in-law questioned me, asking, “Why are you coming home so late? Are you really going to continue believing even though it’s so dangerous to do so now? I read on the internet today that you can be arrested for believing in God, sentenced to jail, your children won’t be able to apply for college and both you and your husband will be relieved of your civil servant positions. For the future of my granddaughter, I’ve decided to stop believing in God.” Cracking a sinister smile, my husband remarked, “You see, my mom has some sense to her! As soon as she heard that you could be arrested for practicing faith, she quit right away—you should stop believing as well! If you’re arrested while believing, our whole family will be drawn into the ordeal and it’ll all be because of you. You’d better think this over!” Hearing this, I became a bit worried and thought to myself, “If I continue practicing faith and doing my duty and am caught and arrested, my husband will be fired from his job and my daughter will also be negatively influenced. If that happens, they’ll certainly both hate me for it. Maybe I can avoid going to gatherings for a little bit to avoid getting my family in trouble.” But when I had this thought, I felt very uneasy inside. I thought, “If I don’t go to gatherings and do my duty in order to avoid being arrested by the CCP, will I still qualify as a believer? Will I still be able to attain the truth?” I hurriedly called out to God. Just then, I thought of God’s words which say: “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing in which I do not have the final say. Is there anything that is not in My hands? Whatever I say is done, and who among human beings can change My mind?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 1). Pondering over God’s words, I gained a clearer understanding. Our fates as humans all lie in God’s hands. God had already preordained whether or not my husband and I would be fired and what my daughter’s future would be. These were not things that mere men could decide upon. Having realized this, I told them, “God has the final word on whether I’ll be arrested and whether our child’s future will be affected. Man is God’s creation, and it is perfectly natural and justified for us to believe in and worship God. I know this is what I ought to do, so I won’t go along with you in abandoning the true way.” My husband became irate and began belittling me and making verbal thrusts, “Get real! We’ve worked in the CCP’s system for so many years and you still don’t understand their policies? China can’t possibly have true religious freedom. In China, you can only put your faith in the party. Whatever the party decides, that’s the law and you can’t go against it. Take the Tiananmen Square incident: those students were just trying to attain democracy and freedom, but they were brutally suppressed by the CCP and even falsely accused of inciting riot and revolution, for which many of them were arrested and jailed. There were even some students who were run over by tanks. The mere thought of it gives me the chills. Think about it: If they could act so brutally toward students, do you really think they’ll let you believers off easy? You’ve got to see the writing on the wall, you’re a Chinese citizen and so you can only believe in the CCP and absolutely cannot believe in God.” Hearing my husband’s argument, I thought to myself, “The CCP truly is quite savage, fierce and demonic. If I insist on believing in God and am caught, they’ll certainly beat me to death.” I couldn’t help but become a bit scared. Just then, I recalled the Lord Jesus’ words which say: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). God’s words filled me with faith—all events and things are in God’s hands and without God’s permission, the CCP couldn’t so much as lay a finger on me. Even if I eventually was arrested and beaten to death or crippled, it would be with God’s permission. If I could stand firm in my witness and humiliate Satan, my life would not have been lived in vain. I couldn’t be constrained by what my husband just said and live an undignified life under Satan’s power like him. I had to rely on God to stand firm in my testimony.

After my husband saw that I still hadn’t abandoned my faith, he would often pick at my flaws, denigrate and reprimand me and would even criticize me in front of my daughter for not doing the work that I ought to be doing. My mother-in-law also started giving me dirty looks and berating me, saying I had too much free time wasting my time on useless things and neglecting my child’s and family’s future in favor of my own faith. Apart from my daughter, no one would talk to me—it was like there was no place left for me in the family. Over time, I began to become a bit weak, so I came before God in prayer and seeking and saw this passage of God’s words: “The great red dragon persecutes God and is the enemy of God, and so, in this land, those who believe in God are thus subjected to humiliation and oppression…. It is tremendously difficult for God to carry out His work in the land of the great red dragon—but it is through this difficulty that God does one stage of His work, making manifest His wisdom and His wondrous deeds, and using this opportunity to make this group of people complete” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). Through God’s words I learned that the CCP regime is Satan’s regime. The CCP deeply hates God and the truth and so those who believe in God in China all inevitably are subject to oppression by the CCP. God’s wisdom, however, is exercised based on Satan’s schemes and God uses the difficult environments created by the CCP’s arrests and oppression to perfect our faith. My husband was going along with the CCP in persecuting me and my family rejected me; I was suffering and felt a bit humiliated, but this was the suffering that came with pursuing the truth and walking the right path and so it was well worth it. I shouldn’t wallow in negativity and weakness, which was hurtful to God. I had to stand firm in my witness for Him! When I realized this, I didn’t feel quite as sad anymore and gained renewed faith.

After that, my husband and mother-in-law would take turns monitoring me and wouldn’t let me gather or read God’s words. I didn’t let them constrain me, however, and would sneak off when they weren’t looking to attend gatherings and read God’s words under the covers with a flashlight at night. But then, one day when I was going out for a gathering, my mother-in-law caught me and, with tears in her eyes, she said, “Child, please, please stop believing in God. If you’re caught, what will become of our family? My son said if you keep this up, he’ll divorce you. You’re a good daughter-in-law, I don’t want to lose you and I can’t bear to see our family come apart.” It was really hard to see my mother-in-law like that with tears wetting her cheeks. In the past, she had always treated me like her own daughter and I couldn’t bear to see her suffer like that, so I fellowshipped with her, “Mom, you’ve read God’s words yourself, so you know that God created mankind, the heavens and earth and all things. Our lives and everything we enjoy come from Him, and believing in and worshiping God is perfectly natural and justified. In the last days, Almighty God has expressed many truths to save us from sin. If we give up on our faith because we’re afraid of being arrested, we’ll lose our chance of being saved. Also, I’m walking on the right path of life in my belief in God, if our family falls apart, doesn’t the fault lie with the CCP? The CCP is the real villain here. We should stand firm in our witness throughout this ordeal and not betray God.” My mother-in-law angrily replied, “I know that it’s good to believe in God, but how can I possibly dare continue believing now that the CCP is making arrests? If you insist on believing in God, I’ll have no choice but to stand on my son’s side for the sake of our family.” All I could do was tell her, “If you want to give up your faith, that’s your choice, but please don’t go along with the CCP in obstructing me from and persecuting me for believing in God. You know that I believe in the true God and follow the true way. Even if I’m arrested and sent to prison, I will continue believing in God until the very end.” Hearing this, she stormed out and returned to her bedroom in anger, slamming the door on her way out.

When my husband returned home and heard that I’d been out at a gathering, he angrily grilled me, “Do you have a death wish or something? Do you think what they’re saying on the internet is a joke? That came from the National Public Security Bureau’s website. Do you know that many believers of Almighty God have already been arrested, and some have been sentenced to jail, beaten to death or crippled? Don’t let your faith drag our family down!” In a wild fit of rage, he went rummaging through our bedroom looking for my books of God’s words and threw my flashlight that I used to read on the ground while yelling, “If you won’t give up your faith, and insist on continuing to believe in God, you will no longer be a part of this family! I feel scared and on edge every day due to your belief in God. Do you know that we could lose our jobs if you get arrested? My colleague’s wife is always bringing up how you’re a believer with me and it’s become very awkward for me at work. You’ve made me completely lose face! I need an answer from you today: Are you choosing your faith or our family? If you choose our family, then just live a normal life properly at home, you won’t have any obligations, and I’ll even give you money every month to play mahjong. I’ll give you whatever you need. If you insist on continuing to believe in God, I’ll divorce you, you won’t get any share in our assets and you won’t be allowed to see our daughter.” I was crushed to see how heartless and cruel my husband had become, tears welled up in my eyes and I felt deeply hurt. I had worked so hard to earn money for our family, we had only just renovated the house, and now my husband was just going to send me walking after more than ten years of happy marriage just to save his face and future prospects. By then, it was clear our marriage existed only in name. I replied to him, saying, “Even if you leave me with nothing after our divorce, I will still choose to follow God.” In a sinister, loathsome voice he replied, “If you’re going to choose to follow God, I won’t make it easy for you. I’ll send you to the Public Security Bureau, they’ll know how to handle you!” With that, he showed me a letter he had printed out that said, “My wife believes in Almighty God and is now beyond saving. I’ve tried everything I can, but she just won’t listen to me, so I have no choice but to ask the Public Security Bureau to help me deal with my wife. If any assistance is required, I will be fully compliant.” When I saw that letter, I was furious, thinking, “What kind of husband is he? He is nothing but a demon! He is clearly aware of how brutally the CCP treated believers in God, but he is still willing to send me to the Public Security Bureau. Isn’t he effectively just sending me to my death?” It was very worrying to me to see that my own husband had completely lost his humanity, and was now capable of doing anything. “If he really does take me to the Public Security Bureau, what will I do then? They specialize in harming and even killing believers in there.” The more I thought about it, the more frightened I became and so I continually prayed to God, asking Him to give me faith and strength. After prayer, I recalled a passage of God’s words that I had read during devotionals: “You should not be afraid of this and that; no matter how many difficulties and dangers you might face, you are capable of remaining steady before Me, unobstructed by any hindrance, so that My will may be carried out unimpeded. This is your duty…. Be not afraid; with My support, who could ever block this road? Remember this! Do not forget!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). God’s words filled me with strength and faith—God is my shield and so there is nothing for me to be afraid of. With steadfast conviction, I said to my husband, “Even if you hand me over to the Public Security Bureau, I will continue to believe in God. You should know that the CCP can only brutalize and torture my body, but they will never destroy my will to follow God. No matter how they persecute me, I will continue to believe in God even if it means my death!” Seeing how determined I was in my faith, my husband shook his head resignedly and said, “Oh no, oh no, she’s beyond the point of saving!” Seeing how my husband had run out of ideas, I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for giving me the faith to stand my ground.

After dinner, I sat on my bed and reflected on everything that had happened that day and realized that I couldn’t continue living in that house. As I thought about that, I began to feel a little sad and unwilling to part and tears came streaming from my eyes. Seeing me crying, my husband tried to tempt me again, saying, “If you promise not to believe in God, I won’t divorce you and send you to the Public Security Bureau. Then our family can go on living harmoniously just as before.” I replied, “Almighty God has expressed the truths to do the work of judging and purifying mankind. We should all accept the truth and come before God in repentance in order to be saved by Him. This is our only way out. These days, calamities are occurring with ever greater magnitude—if you continue to follow along with the CCP in obstructing and persecuting my belief in God, you’ll fall victim to these calamities and be punished!” My husband just couldn’t accept what I was saying and angrily retorted, “Don’t bring up your faith in front of me. Even if Almighty God really was the true God, I still wouldn’t believe in Him. If you still insist on believing in God, I’ll be taking you to the Public Security Bureau first thing tomorrow!” Seeing that I wasn’t listening to him, he flew into a rage, held me down on the bed, slapped me across the face and began to strangle me while saying, “Your faith has not only damaged our family, it’s dragging me down too. We’ll see if you still believe in God after I beat you to death!” As I struggled desperately to free myself, my mother-in-law heard the commotion and came into our bedroom. She castigated me, saying, “Your faith has torn this family apart and it’s dragging down my son now too.” This made me furious, and I thought, “The real reason our family has fallen into disharmony is because you both believed the CCP’s rumors and began persecuting me for my religious practice. It’s just completely unreasonable how you say it’s all my fault instead of hating the CCP. I can’t keep living like this.” I was so angry that I ran over to the window and got ready to jump out and end my life. Just as I was about to jump out, my mother-in-law pointed at me and said, “Go ahead and jump. Jump out the window, no one’s going to sacrifice their life for you!” When she said this, I suddenly came to my senses and remembered God’s words which say: “During these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God). As I pondered over God’s words, I couldn’t hold back the tears from streaming down my face. Even though my family didn’t understand me and even persecuted me, God continued to enlighten and guide me, to show me what His intention was. In such an environment, I knew I should rely upon God, uphold my faith in Him and stand firm in my witness to humiliate Satan. Yet I didn’t seek God’s intention and wanted to escape through death when faced with some persecution. Hadn’t I just fallen for Satan’s plot? I was so foolish and had failed to bear witness. I couldn’t continue to let myself be fooled by Satan, I had to continue living, believing in God and doing my duty no matter how my family persecuted me.

When my husband realized he couldn’t stop me, he called in his uncle. The uncle said to me, “I hear you insist on continuing to believe in God. You know, if you’re caught, it will affect the whole family and my nephew will divorce you. If you write a pledge stating that you won’t believe in God tonight, this family can stay together.” My husband then handed me a pen and a pad of paper and told me to write the pledge. Thoughts raced through my head, “If we really get divorced, what will come of our child? She’s still young and without me to take care of her she might be picked on by others. If my husband remarries, will the stepmother abuse her? Will she grow up in good health? If I outwardly agree to write the pledge and keep my faith in secret, the family will stay together and I can continue believing. Doesn’t that give me the best of both worlds?” But the thought of doing that made me uneasy and so I prayed to God, seeking how I should act to be in line with His intention. After prayer, it occurred to me that writing the pledge would be a betrayal of God. I realized that I had once again almost fallen for Satan’s tricks. If I wrote that pledge, I’d be betraying God and failing to bear testimony, so I absolutely couldn’t write it. When I still hadn’t started writing the pledge, my husband’s uncle gritted his teeth and said, “Would it really kill you to stop believing in God? If my wife acted like you, I’d break her arms and legs. See if she could still practice faith then!” His words made me sick and I wondered how any human could utter such filth. Wasn’t he speaking just like the devil? I angrily retorted, “I WILL NOT write this pledge!” As soon as I said that, my husband angrily grabbed the divorce contract he had written up and unhesitatingly signed his name. On the contract, it stated that the house and our child would all be granted to him, whereas I would be left with no property or visitation rights for our daughter. Although I had prepared myself mentally for the divorce before, when it finally happened in real life, I still began to feel a bit weak. I had worked hard to get our family to where we were, and now I would be left without our home and no access to our daughter. I couldn’t bear to leave this family, to leave my daughter, but my husband was putting the pressure on and I just couldn’t make up my mind. Just then, I recalled a passage of God’s words. Almighty God says: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). After reading God’s words, I realized that it was valuable and meaningful to suffer in order to attain the truth. Only a life spent pursuing the truth in one’s faith is meaningful. If I ended up living an easy lifestyle because I sought a harmonious family life and comforts of the flesh, but lost the opportunity to be saved by God, I would regret it for the rest of my life. As for my daughter’s future and what suffering she would have to endure, God had already preordained all that. Even if I were to remain at her side, I wouldn’t be able to ensure that she lives every day in good health, much less could I change her fate. I had to leave her fate up to God and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. Once I had understood God’s intention, I felt I had a path forward and didn’t feel quite as upset. I then recalled another passage of God’s words that says: “Anyone who does not recognize God is an enemy; that is, anyone who does not recognize God incarnate—whether or not they are inside or outside this stream—is an antichrist! Who is Satan, who are demons, and who are God’s enemies if not resisters who do not believe in God?” “Believers and nonbelievers are not compatible; rather, they are opposed to one another” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). As I pondered God’s words, I thought back to how when my husband heard that believers in God would be arrested and oppressed by the CCP, he started persecuting me, not letting me read God’s words, forbidding me from meeting with brothers and sisters, using any means necessary to obstruct my practice of faith, and even going so far as to threaten to send me to the Public Security Bureau where I would meet certain peril. Now he was forcing me to write a pledge that I wouldn’t practice faith, vowing to divorce me and kick me out, leaving me with nothing if I didn’t write it. I saw that my husband was nothing more than a God-resisting, truth-hating demon. Given that he had followed along with the CCP in resisting God while I sought to follow God and walk the right path, we were clearly headed on different trajectories and would only suffer if we stayed together. Realizing this, I was able to calmly face the situation at hand and resolved to sign my name on the divorce papers.

Through experiencing this ordeal, I came to recognize the hideous, repulsive, God-resisting nature of the CCP. As God’s words say: “Religious freedom? The legitimate rights and interests of citizens? They are all tricks for covering up sin! … Why put up such an impenetrable obstacle to the work of God? Why employ various tricks to deceive God’s folk? Where is the true freedom and the legitimate rights and interests? Where is the fairness? Where is the comfort? Where is the warmth? Why use deceitful schemes to trick God’s people? Why use force to suppress the coming of God? Why not allow God to freely roam upon the earth that He created? Why hound God until He has nowhere to rest His head?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (8)). The reign of the CCP is the reign of Satan itself. In order to reinforce the stability of their autocratic rule, the CCP wildly resists God and does everything in its power to disturb and destroy God’s work of saving mankind. They use the media to libel, slander, condemn and blaspheme God, they also adopt all kinds of strategies to arrest and oppress Christians, and mislead and incite the families of Christians to oppress and attack them, causing the dissolution of their families. Yet they upend the truth and claim that believers are abandoning their families—how despicable and evil they are! Through experiencing this persecution, I gained discernment of the true nature of my husband’s hatred of the truth. I also came to understand that God is the only one I can truly rely on. When I was at my weakest and most distressed, God’s words enlightened and guided me time and time again, instilling me with faith and strength and allowing me to see through Satan’s evil plots so that I was able to stand firm in the face of oppression. From now on, I will continue to pursue the truth and fulfill my duty well to repay God.