By Melanie, the Philippines

I used to water newcomers in the church, but because my caliber was rather lacking, there were many truths I couldn’t fellowship on clearly, and I couldn’t resolve newcomers’ problems. Besides, I was always protecting my image and status. When there were things I was unclear on, I was embarrassed to seek out others for help. As a result, I didn’t do a good job watering newcomers and I was dismissed because of it. The leader then arranged for me to do general affairs work. I was really upset when faced with this adjustment in duty. I just couldn’t accept it, especially when I saw more people accepting God’s work of the last days, and urgently requiring watering. Having my duty changed just then made me wonder if I had been exposed. I worried what the others would think of me when they found out, that they’d think I lacked caliber and could only do drudge work and odd jobs. I was watering new believers along with others at first, but now that I was handling general affairs, just little chores, what was the point in that sort of duty? No matter how well I did, I’d just be a laborer and end up being eliminated. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I wasn’t completing my tasks well, but was content to just go through the motions without putting my heart into them. Sometimes there were a lot of things to do in the evening, but I’d start nodding off really early. Once, a sister in charge of watering work sent me a message, asking me to help put together some work documents from before. I felt really resistant when I read that. I wasn’t doing watering work anymore, why would she ask me to do that? I couldn’t refuse, though, so I reluctantly agreed to do it. The next day another watering sister asked me to help with something. I was really reluctant, thinking, “General affairs really are just odd jobs, and anyone can tell me what to do. It isn’t really my job, so why would she have me help?” I was afraid she’d think I wasn’t supporting the church’s work if I refused. Hands tied, I told her I would do it.

For a few days, I didn’t reflect on myself at all. I wasn’t able to accept the duty change from God and was resistant to the leader, feeling she was making things hard for me. I said to a sister I partnered with before, sort of on purpose, “I never had an idle moment in my watering work and I did everything I was supposed to. The leader never helped me when problems came up, but she dismissed me at the drop of a hat. Well, whatever! Since I was dismissed, there must be a lesson in it for me.” After hearing that, the sister also felt like the leader wasn’t fair with me. At the time, I felt really wronged. Why was I assigned to handle general affairs? Was I only capable of doing odd jobs? Was I not worth cultivating? I felt like I’d just be useless from then on, and even if I kept my faith till the end, I’d be eliminated. These thoughts made me more and more miserable. I realized my state wasn’t right so I immediately came before God in prayer and said, “God, what’s wrong with me? This is a duty too, so why am I this unsatisfied with handling general affairs? God, please enlighten and guide me to understand myself and stop living in corruption.” After praying I thought of God’s words about antichrists’ attitude toward a change in duty. God’s words say: “What duty is appropriate to you should be based on your own strengths. If sometimes the duty arranged for you by the church is not something you are good at or is not something you wish to do, you can raise the issue and resolve it through communication. But if you can perform the duty, and it is a duty you should perform, and you don’t want to do it just because you fear suffering, then there is a problem with you. If you are willing to obey and can rebel against your flesh, then you can be said to be relatively reasonable. However, if you always try to calculate which duties are more prestigious, and you assume certain duties will make others look down on you, this proves you have a corrupt disposition. Why are you so prejudiced in your understanding of duties? Could it be that you can perform a duty well if it is one you choose based on your own ideas? That isn’t necessarily true. What matters most here is resolving your corrupt disposition, and if you don’t, you won’t be able to perform your duty well, even if it’s one you enjoy. Some people perform their duties without principles, and their performance of their duty is always based on their own preferences, so they are never able to resolve difficulties, they always muddle through every duty they perform, and eventually they are eliminated. Can people like this be saved? … Evil people and antichrists never have the correct attitude in their duties. What do they think when they are transferred? ‘Do you think I’m just a service-doer? When you use me, you make me render service for you, and when you’re done with me, you just send me away. Well, I won’t render service like that! I want to be a leader or worker, because that’s the only respectable job around here. If you won’t let me be a leader or worker and you still want me to toil, you can just forget about it!’ What kind of attitude is this? Are they submitting? On what basis do they approach being transferred in their duty? On the basis of impetuousness, their own ideas, and their corrupt disposition, right? And what are the consequences of approaching it this way? First of all, will they be able to be loyal and sincere in their next duty? No, they won’t. Will they have a positive attitude? What sort of state will they be in? (A state of despondency.) What is the essence of despondency? It’s antagonism. And what is the ultimate result of an antagonistic and despondent mood? Can someone who feels that way do their duty well? (No.) If someone is always negative and antagonistic, are they fit to do a duty? No matter what duty they do, they can’t do it well. This is a vicious cycle, and will not end well. Why is that? Such people are not on a good path; they do not seek the truth, they are not submissive, and they cannot properly understand the house of God’s attitude and approach toward them. This is trouble, is it not? It is a perfectly appropriate change in duty, but antichrists say it’s being done to torment them, that they are not being treated like a human being, that the house of God lacks love, that they are being treated like a machine, called upon when they’re needed, then kicked aside when they’re not. Isn’t that a twisted argument? Does someone who says that sort of thing have a conscience or reason? They have no humanity! They distort a perfectly proper matter; they twist a totally appropriate practice into something negative—is this not the wickedness of an antichrist? Can someone who is this wicked understand the truth? Absolutely not. This is an antichrist’s problem; whatever happens to them, they will think about it in a twisted way. Why do they think in a twisted way? Because their nature essence is so wicked. An antichrist’s nature essence is primarily wicked, followed by their viciousness, and these are their main characteristics. Antichrists’ wicked nature prevents them from correctly comprehending anything, and instead they distort everything, they go to extremes, they split hairs, and they cannot handle things properly or seek the truth. Next, they actively fight back and seek revenge, even spreading notions and venting negativity, inciting and roping in others to disturb the church’s work. They secretly spread around some complaints, judge how people are treated by God’s house, some of its administrative rules, how certain leaders do things, and condemn these leaders. What sort of disposition is this? It is vicious” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status and No Hope of Gaining Blessings). I saw from God’s words that in the face of anything, antichrists can’t properly understand God’s intentions, but always take things wrong. They approach a simple change in duty as if they’re being demoted, thinking that things are being made difficult for them. They get negative and resistant, and might abandon their duty at any time, disregarding the work of the church. Antichrists have such an evil nature! I saw I was acting the exact same way. I should have reflected on how I’d failed after being dismissed, and treasured this chance at a new duty. But I didn’t even reflect. I felt like it was the leader being hard on me, that handling general affairs was degrading and embarrassing, that I was doing odd jobs and being a laborer, and wasn’t worth cultivating. I simply couldn’t submit to it, but even felt I’d suffered a great wrong, and was very resistant to this duty. I was always slacking off, going through the motions, just drifting along. I was pitting myself against God and using this kind of negativity to go up against God. I didn’t want to cooperate when the watering sisters came to me for help, but was full of grievances. I thought they were ordering me around, making me toil and do odd jobs. I wanted to vent my feelings of being wronged, so I aired my grievances to my former partner, complaining about the leader. That affected her and she ended up feeling biased against the leader. That change in duty fully exposed me. I did my duty entirely based on personal preference, only wanting to do a duty that made me look good. With a lower status, I felt others wouldn’t look up to me and I had no hope of blessings, so I was negative and dragged my feet, going up against God, even venting my anger in my duty. I spread my own biases and notions, and got another person to fight for me. How was that any different from an antichrist? I really didn’t have any normal humanity or reason!

Then I read some of God’s words: “Some people do not perform their duties properly, they are always perfunctory, causing disruptions or disturbances, and ultimately, they are replaced. They are not, however, expelled from the church, which is them being given a chance to repent. Everyone has corrupt dispositions, and everyone has times when they are muddled or confused, times when they are of small stature. The aim of giving you a chance is so that you can turn all this around. And how can you turn it around? You must reflect on and come to know your past mistakes; don’t make excuses, and don’t go about spreading notions. If you misunderstand God and blithely pass on these misunderstandings to others, so that they, too, misinterpret God with you, and if you have notions and go around spreading them, so that everyone has notions with you, and tries to reason with God alongside you, is this not rabble-rousing? Is this not opposing God? And can anything good come from opposing God? Can you still be saved? You hope that God will save you, yet you refuse to accept His work, and you resist and oppose God, so will God still save you? Forget these hopes. When you made a mistake, God did not hold you accountable, nor did He eliminate you because of this single error. God’s house gave you a chance, and allowed you to continue to perform a duty, and to repent, which is the opportunity given to you by God; if you have conscience and reason, you should treasure this. Some people are always perfunctory when they perform their duties, and they are replaced; some are transferred. Does this mean they have been eliminated? That is not what God has said; you still have a chance. So what should you do? You should reflect on and come to know yourself, and attain true repentance; this is the path. But that is not what some people do. They fight back, and go all about saying, ‘I wasn’t allowed to perform this duty because I said the wrong thing and offended someone.’ They don’t look for the problem in themselves, they don’t reflect, they don’t seek the truth, they don’t submit to the arrangements and orchestrations of God, and they oppose God by spreading notions. Have they not become Satan? When you do the things that Satan does, you are no longer a follower of God. You have become an enemy of God—could God save His enemy? No. God saves people with corrupt dispositions, real people—not devils, not His enemies. When you go against God, and complain about God, and misinterpret God, and pass judgment on God, spreading notions about God, then you are wholly against God; you are raising an outcry against God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well). I was profoundly stirred by God’s words. Though I’d been dismissed, the church still gave me a chance to perform a duty. It didn’t say I couldn’t pursue the truth, that I’d be eliminated. I’d been arranged to take on another duty, which gave me a chance to really self-reflect and understand myself. But not understanding God’s intention, I thought that being dismissed was losing status and face. I was negative and resistant. I was so rebellious and unreasonable! When I was watering new believers, since I didn’t have good caliber, I couldn’t fellowship on the truth clearly, and the newcomers’ questions weren’t resolved in time. Fearing others would look down on me, I always put on an act and didn’t open up and seek help about difficulties I encountered. The leader fellowshiped with me on principles and methods for that duty, but I was content to just know about them, and afterward I didn’t think about how to practice and apply them. So, I didn’t grasp a lot of principles after plenty of fellowship and my watering work never had good results. I not only had poor caliber, but I was extremely arrogant and didn’t have a will to seek the truth. I wasn’t really improving my skills, and there was no progress in my work. So I needed to be transferred to a different duty. But I wouldn’t acknowledge my corruption and faults. I treated my transferal with indignance and refused to accept it. I even misunderstood that God was exposing me, making me look bad, that He was going to eliminate me. That was absurd and completely unreasonable of me. With my poor caliber and my lack of accomplishments in watering newcomers, I often felt negative. If I’d kept on doing that duty, it not only would have hurt my own life, but also held up the work of the church. Based on my caliber and strengths, the leader gave me a duty I could do. That was following principle, and being responsible toward my life. But I didn’t know what was good for me. I didn’t self-reflect to know myself, but made a counterattack, judging the leader behind her back, spreading negativity. From the outside, it looked like I was just finding fault with her, but in fact I was opposing God, going up against Him. Being exposed this way, I saw that I didn’t just lack caliber, but I also had a seriously corrupt disposition. If I didn’t submit like I should and earnestly do my duty, I’d be exposed and eliminated!

As I reflected, I also discovered a fallacious view I held. I thought duties had different ranks, that there were lowly and lofty ones, and only doing leadership or watering work was a real duty, while the work of general affairs didn’t count as a duty. I thought of it as low-grade work, that doing such duties was just laboring, and that I’d end up being eliminated after my laboring. So, hearing I was being assigned to handle general affairs made me feel inferior, and treated like a machine. I was really resistant to it and didn’t even have the drive to do my duty. But in the church, all duties are for God’s management plan of saving mankind. Whether it’s being a leader, a waterer, or doing general affairs work, it’s all doing a duty, and everyone needs to cooperate well. It’s just like a machine, every single part has its purpose, so there’s no great or small, high or low, noble or base in duties, just different functions. No matter what duty they’re doing, everyone has lessons to learn, and truth principles they should practice and enter into. As long as we pursue the truth, we can all be saved by God. But I was always thinking about things wrong. I thought that handling general affairs was just labor and odd jobs. I applied that distorted perspective to my duty being changed and misunderstood God’s intention. That’s really disgusting and odious to God. That reminded me of some of God’s words: “God’s wish is for every person to be made perfect, to be ultimately gained by Him, to be completely cleansed by Him, and to become people He loves. No matter whether I say you are backward or of poor caliber, this is all fact. My saying this does not prove that I intend to forsake you, that I have lost hope in you, much less that I am unwilling to save you. Today I have come to do the work of your salvation, which is to say that the work I do is a continuation of the work of salvation. Every person has the chance to be made perfect: Provided that you are willing, provided that you pursue, in the end you will be able to achieve this result, and not one of you will be forsaken. If you are of poor caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your poor caliber; if you are of high caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your high caliber; if you are ignorant and illiterate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your illiteracy; if you are literate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with the fact that you are literate; if you are elderly, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your age; if you are capable of providing hospitality, My requirements of you will be in accordance with this capability; if you say you cannot offer hospitality, and can only perform a certain function, whether it be spreading the gospel, or taking care of the church, or attending to other general affairs, My perfection of you will be in accordance with the function that you perform” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). Having read God’s word, I was really moved, but also ashamed at the same time. I misunderstood and blamed God without understanding His intention. I thought I had been assigned to general affairs work on account of poor caliber, and that I’d be eliminated after finishing my labor. In fact, God has never said He won’t save people with poor caliber, and He does not treat people based on their caliber or what duty they do. He looks at whether they love and pursue the truth. That’s what’s key for whether they can be saved. I thought of an evildoer cleared out by the church before. She seemed to have caliber and her duty inspired admiration, but she always pursued status, oppressed others and excluded those with different views. She had already been pruned repeatedly, but didn’t repent. Eventually, she was cleared out from the church. And the false leaders and antichrists who have been exposed and eliminated in recent years all seemed to have caliber and gifts, but they didn’t pursue the truth. They all performed many evils for name and status, and were on a path against God. No matter how great someone’s caliber may seem, how high their status may be, if they don’t pursue the truth, being exposed and eliminated by God is just a matter of time. I also thought about some brothers and sisters of average caliber whose duties aren’t remarkable, but they are able to put their heart into it, standing in the position of a created being. When they reveal corruption, they come before God to pray and seek, to self-reflect and know themselves through God’s words. Their corrupt dispositions do change over time. God’s disposition is so righteous. God doesn’t treat anyone unfairly. Regardless of the quality of our caliber, whatever duty we do, God nurtures and waters everyone equally, and sets up situations for us to experience God’s words and enter into the truth reality. God’s work to save man is so practical! After understanding God’s intention, I wasn’t so resistant to my current duty, but wanted to submit and perform it well.

I read some of God’s words later on: “For you to be able to perform your duty in God’s house today, whether it’s big or small, whether it’s physical or mental, and whether it’s handling external issues or internal work, no one’s performing of their duty is happening by accident. How could this be your choice? This is all led by God. It’s only because of God’s commissioning you that you’re moved like this, you have this sense of mission and responsibility, and you can perform this duty. There are so many among nonbelievers with good looks, knowledge, or talent, but does God favor them? No, He doesn’t. God did not select them, and He favors only the lot of you. He has all of you undertake every kind of role, perform all kinds of duties, and take up different kinds of responsibilities in His management work. When God’s management plan finally comes to an end and is achieved, what a glory and a privilege this will be! So then, when people suffer a little hardship while they perform their duty today; when they have to give some things up, expend themselves a little, and pay a certain price; when they lose their status and their fame and gain in the world; and when these things are all gone, it seems like it’s all been taken from them by God, but they’ve gained something more precious and more valuable. What have people gained from God? They’ve gained the truth and life by performing their duty. Only when you’ve fulfilled your duty, you’ve completed God’s commission, you live your whole life for your mission and the commission God’s given you, you have a beautiful testimony, and you live a life that has value—only then are you a real person! And why do I say you’re a real person? Because God has selected you and had you perform your duty as a created being within His management. This is the greatest value and the greatest meaning in your life” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “God does not look at what you say or promise before Him; He looks at whether what you do has truth reality. Also, God does not care how high, profound, or mighty your actions are, and even if you do a small little thing, if God sees sincerity in your every move, He shall say, ‘This person sincerely believes in Me. They have never boasted. They conduct themselves according to their station. Although they may not have made a great contribution to God’s house and are of poor caliber, they are steadfast and have sincerity in all they do.’ What does this ‘sincerity’ contain? It contains fear and submission to God, as well as true faith and love; it contains everything God wants to see. Such people may seem unremarkable to others, and they could well be a person who makes food or does the cleaning up, someone who performs an ordinary duty. Such people are unremarkable to others, haven’t achieved anything great, and have nothing estimable, admirable or enviable about them—they are just ordinary people. And yet, all that God requires is found in them and lived out in them, and they give it all to God. Tell Me, what more does God want? He is satisfied with them” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words showed me that no matter what duty I get, it’s from God’s rule and arrangements. I should submit and approach it all with my heart. No matter what my caliber is or how much I’m able to do, I should put in everything I have, give it my all. That’s God’s intention, and that is what doing my duty really is.

After this, I took on a correct attitude and carried out the general affairs work diligently, and after a while, I saw that it wasn’t the drudgery I’d imagined at all. There are lots of principles to grasp and enter into in that duty, and it requires a genuine, truth-seeking heart in the course of performing it. Through a period of practice, I gained a lot from handling general affairs. I learned some skills and came to understand some principles, and I also experienced how practical God’s salvation of mankind is. This duty change shifted the incorrect perspective I’d had toward duties and I became willing to submit to God’s arrangements and do my best in my duty. Thanks be to God!