By Mike, South Korea

In October 2004, my wife and I accepted Almighty God’s work in the last days, and our two children followed us in believing in God. I was particularly happy, thinking, “Our whole family believes in God. If we can all be saved and enter the kingdom, what a wonderful thing that would be!” Afterward, my wife and I both did our duties. My wife was more enthusiastic than I was, and I always felt she pursued the truth more than me.

In 2013, while my wife was serving as a group leader, the church leader Wang Jing pointed out her deviations and problems in doing her duties during a meeting. Later, my wife held onto Wang Jing’s revelations of corruption, made arbitrary judgments, and spread them, which caused the brothers and sisters to develop prejudices against Wang Jing, resulting in many tasks being unimplemented and severely disturbing church life. The leader and the deacon fellowshipped with her multiple times, but she was defiant and dissatisfied, even arguing and being sophistical, not having the slightest knowledge of herself. As a result, the church dismissed her from her position. After being dismissed, she showed no sign of repentance and continued to find fault with Wang Jing, spreading judgments and gossiping everywhere. Due to her consistent disruption and disturbance of church life, some brothers and sisters exposed and reported her. Later, following a vote that was passed by 80% of the church members, my wife was defined as an evil person and expelled. At the time, when this happened, it felt quite painful. Thinking about how my wife had forsaken her career to do her duty since she started believing in God, braving all sorts of hardships for so many years, now that she was expelled, didn’t it mean it was all over for her? There was no hope whatsoever of salvation anymore. However, my wife didn’t care at all and said, “I believe in God. It is pointless that they expelled me. I will still believe in God even after being expelled.” Seeing that she had done so much evil and still didn’t know herself even then, and that she was unconvinced and resentful about the church’s decision, I felt that her being expelled by the church was not excessive at all. After her expulsion, many brothers and sisters who visited our home would fellowship with her and urge her to reflect and recognize herself, but she wouldn’t accept it at all and argued irrationally, claiming that the leaders and the workers were against her and so had expelled her. What’s more, she continued to harbor resentment toward Wang Jing.

Later, the house of God required all churches to review members previously cleared out or expelled to see if there was anyone who truly repented and could be readmitted. I thought, “Does my wife qualify for readmission? Since her expulsion, she hasn’t reflected and gained knowledge of her actions, and continues to hold preconceived ideas against Wang Jing, judging her behind her back. She shows no sign of repentance, so according to the principles, she shouldn’t be readmitted.” But then I thought, “Since she was expelled, she still reads God’s words from time to time, and supports us in doing our duties, and she also maintains this household, and takes care of my paralyzed, bedbound mother. Couldn’t she be given another chance?” At that time, I was assisting the leaders in organizing the materials of expelled and cleared out members. My daughter asked me if her mother could be readmitted to the church, and my wife also kept asking if she could be readmitted. Seeing that I had never once said she could be, my wife accused me of being heartless. Hearing this, I felt bad. I thought, “‘Once a man and woman are married, their loving bond runs deep.’ If I don’t help my wife get readmitted, my conscience won’t rest, and both my wife and daughter will resent me.” Thinking of this, I spoke to the leaders, saying, “Ever since she was expelled, my wife has resolutely continued to believe in God. Could she be readmitted to the church?” The leaders fellowshipped with me, saying, “The church has principles for readmitting people. Only those who have continued to preach the gospel and shown true repentance after being expelled or cleared out can be readmitted. Those readmitted must absolutely not cause disturbance to the church again. Measuring by these principles, although your wife has not opposed your faith and has shown some good behavior since her expulsion, she has never reflected on or recognized the evil deeds she committed that disturbed church life, and remains unconvinced and dissatisfied about her expulsion. She is not someone who should be readmitted.” Hearing the leaders’ fellowship, I felt ashamed. I knew clearly that since my wife’s expulsion, she hadn’t recognized her past evil deeds at all, and even continued to resent the leader who expelled her, and she had never reflected on herself to turn things around despite others fellowshipping with her. She always argued by her own warped logic. Having lived with her for so many years, I understood well what kind of person she was. She was particularly arrogant, conceited, and insistently unreasonable. Since we married, no matter what happened, she never once admitted she was wrong. It was only when I spoke kind words to her that she would calm down. I quieted my mind and reflected on myself, thinking, “I clearly know that my wife doesn’t meet the conditions for readmission, but why do I still defend her and speak up for her?”

Later, during my devotionals, I read two passages of God’s words. Almighty God says: “Some people place great stock in feelings, they react to whatever happens to them based on their feelings; in their hearts, they know full well this is wrong, and yet are still incapable of being objective, much less of acting according to principle. When people are always constrained by feelings, are they capable of practicing the truth? This is extremely difficult! Many people’s inability to practice the truth comes down to feelings; they regard feelings as especially important, they put them in the first place. Are they people who love the truth? Certainly not. What are feelings, in essence? They are a kind of corrupt disposition. The manifestations of feelings can be described using several words: favoritism, unprincipled protection of others, maintenance of physical relationships, and partiality; these are what feelings are” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). “What issues relate to feelings? First is how you evaluate your own family members, and how you approach the things they do. ‘The things they do’ here naturally include when they disrupt and disturb the church’s work, when they pass judgment on people behind their backs, when they engage in some of the practices of disbelievers, and so on. Can you approach these things impartially? When it is necessary for you to write an evaluation of your family members, can you do so objectively and impartially, putting your own feelings aside? This relates to how you approach your family members. Furthermore, do you harbor feelings toward those who you get along with or who previously helped you? Are you able to view their actions and comportment in an objective, impartial, and accurate way? If they disrupt and disturb the work of the church, will you be able to promptly report or expose them after you find out about it? Also, do you harbor feelings toward those who are relatively close to you, or who share similar interests with you? Do you possess an impartial and objective evaluation, definition, and way of dealing with their actions and behavior? Suppose that these people, who you have a sentimental connection with, are handled by the church according to the principles, and the outcome of this isn’t in line with your own notions—how would you approach this? Would you be able to obey?” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (2)). God’s words sharply exposed the root of the problem. I was constrained by my feelings. I clearly knew that my wife had disrupted and disturbed the church life and judged the leader, and that she had never truly repented even after being expelled, making her unfit for readmission by the church, but because I feared that my wife and daughter would call me heartless, and worried that our marriage would fall apart, I went against the principles to defend her. I took advantage of my duty to speak up for her, hoping to get her accepted back into the church. My feelings were too strong! The house of God required us to readmit those who had truly repented after being cleared out or expelled. This was God’s tolerance and mercy, giving people the chance to repent to the greatest extent possible. If these people could abhor and regret their own actions, making up for their transgressions through real actions, it showed they had not completely lost their humanity and reason and that, at the very least, their faith in God was genuine. However, those who did not accept the truth at all and committed many evil deeds were people whose nature essence was being averse to the truth and hating the truth and they would never repent. Such people would be eliminated. I had gone against the principles, relying on my feelings, and had wanted to readmit an evil person into the church, allowing her to continue disturbing church life. In doing this, wasn’t I disturbing the church’s work? Realizing this, I felt deeply remorseful and unwilling to live by my feelings any longer.

Later, I read God’s words: “By what principle do God’s words ask that people treat others? Love what God loves, and hate what God hates: This is the principle that should be adhered to. God loves those who pursue the truth and are able to follow His will; these are also the people that we should love. Those who are not able to follow God’s will, who hate and rebel against God—these people are detested by God, and we should detest them, too. This is what God asks of man. … During the Age of Grace, the Lord Jesus said, ‘Who is My mother? And who are My brothers?’ ‘For whoever shall follow the will of My Father which is in heaven, the same is My brother, and sister, and mother.’ These words already existed back in the Age of Grace, and now God’s words are even more clear: ‘Love what God loves, and hate what God hates.’ These words cut straight to the point, yet people are often unable to grasp their true meaning. If a person is someone who denies and opposes God, who is cursed by God, but they are a parent or relative of yours, they don’t appear to be an evil person as far as you can tell, and they treat you well, then you might find yourself unable to hate that person, and might even remain in close contact with them, your relationship unchanged. Hearing that God hates such people will trouble you, and you are unable to stand on the side of God and ruthlessly reject them. You’re always constrained by feelings, and you cannot fully let go of them. What is the reason for this? This happens because your feelings are too strong, and they hinder you from practicing the truth. That person is good to you, so you can’t bring yourself to hate them. You could only hate them if they did hurt you. Would that hatred be in line with the truth principles? Also, you’re bound by traditional notions, thinking that they are a parent or relative, so if you hate them, you would be scorned by society and reviled by public opinion, condemned as unfilial, without a conscience, and not even human. You think you would suffer divine condemnation and punishment. Even if you want to hate them, your conscience won’t let you. Why does your conscience function this way? It’s because a way of thinking has been sown within you since you were a child, through the inheritance of your family, the education given to you by your parents, and the indoctrination of traditional culture. This way of thinking is rooted very deeply in your heart, and it makes you mistakenly believe that filial piety is perfectly natural and justified, and that anything inherited from your ancestors is always good. You learned it first and it remains dominant, creating a great stumbling block and disturbance in your faith and acceptance of the truth, leaving you unable to put God’s words into practice, and to love what God loves, hate what God hates” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Recognizing One’s Own Misguided Views Can One Truly Transform). From God’s words, I understood that God requires us to treat people with the principle of loving what God loves and hating what God hates. We should treat those who love the truth and uphold the church’s work with love, and we should detest and reject those evil people who hate the truth, resist God, and disturb God’s work. Only practicing in this way aligns with God’s intention. However, I had been constrained by my feelings and unable to love what God loves and hate what God hates. Knowing that my wife had done evil to disturb church life and that she flatly rejected the truth, and that her essence was that of an evil person who hated the truth, and that she should be expelled and eliminated, I had gone against the principles, trying to get her readmitted to the church. My feelings were too strong! I believed in sayings like “Once a man and woman are married, their loving bond runs deep,” “Blood is thicker than water,” and “Man is not inanimate; how can he be free from emotions?” Living by these satanic poisons, I had been unable to distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong. In everything, I had lived by my feelings, without any principles. Seeing my wife continue to support me and our children in doing our duties, handling household chores, and taking care of my paralyzed mother after being expelled, I had felt that I owed her. If I didn’t fight for her, I feared my children would be angry with me and resent me. To maintain my fleshly emotional ties and my image as a good husband and father, I had sided with her and spoken up for her, trying to get her readmitted, allowing her to continue disturbing church life and the brothers’ and sisters’ life entry. This was an evil deed and truly without conscience and humanity. God never asks us to show conscience toward evil people, nor does He say that rejecting satanic relatives is heartless, or inhumane. Instead, He requires us to love what He loves and hate what He hates. Realizing this, I felt much clearer in my mind, and was willing to act according to the principles, no longer defending my wife or acting based on my feelings.

After experiencing these things, I thought I had gained some insight into the essence of feelings. However, I later faced the expulsion of my elder daughter. In December 2020, I was doing my duties away from home. One day, I suddenly received a letter from home stating that my elder daughter, who had been revealed as an evil person, was expelled from the church for disrupting and disturbing church work and committing numerous evil deeds without repentance. I was stunned at that time and deeply pained, and I couldn’t help but complain, “Why has my elder daughter also been expelled? At that time, she gave up her studies to do her duties. Through wind and rain, she never once delayed her duties. Now she’s been expelled; doesn’t this mean there’s no hope for salvation?” Whenever I closed my eyes, past scenes would flash through my mind. Previously, our family of four believed in God. We often read God’s words, sang hymns, and fellowshipped about the truth together. Now it was just me and my younger daughter left. Thinking of this, I was in deep pain. I prayed to God, “Oh God! My elder daughter was expelled. I know this is Your righteousness. But I just can’t get my head around it; I can’t let go of my feelings. May You enlighten and guide me to understand Your intention.” At that time, we were filming the stage play The Battle to Expel the Wicked. The protagonist, who was pained and negative because of her father’s expulsion, was in a state similar to mine. Seeing that the protagonist relied on God’s words to overcome the constraint of her feelings, I was deeply moved. I thought, “I must also rely on God, practice the truth, and stand firm in my testimony. Today, knowing that my daughter was expelled, I felt sad, but I believe God is righteous. The church’s clearing out or expulsion of anyone is based on their essence, and no one is wronged. I should submit and stop complaining about and resisting God.”

Later, I calmed down to reflect on my elder daughter’s consistent behavior and reviewed her expulsion notice, confirming she indeed was an evil person who had committed many evil deeds. On the surface, she seemed rational and didn’t speak much, but when her interests were involved, her true colors were revealed. Back then, when my wife was dismissed and isolated for reflection, Wang Jing, the leader, fellowshipped with her about my wife’s evil deeds. She not only didn’t listen but defended my wife, saying, “I haven’t seen these behaviors. I don’t believe my mom disturbed church life.” No matter how the leader fellowshipped, she wouldn’t accept it and claimed her mom was suppressed and wronged by the leader, continually disturbing church life. Because of her behavior, the church dismissed her. Since then, she harbored resentment toward Wang Jing. Later, outwardly, she seemed to improve and let go of this. After some time, she was elected as a church leader. At that time, Wang Jing was reassigned to the text-based work for failing to do real work, so, my daughter took revenge on Wang Jing. She not only dismissed her from her text-based work, but also prepared materials to have her expelled from the church. I told her at the time, “Cleansing the church must be based on principles. If someone is unjustly expelled, that is doing evil; it is a serious transgression. Wang Jing is just a false leader unable to do any real work, but she’s not an evil person and doesn’t meet the criteria for expulsion.” I fellowshipped with her many times, but she wouldn’t listen, insisting Wang Jing was an evil person and antichrist deserving expulsion. Later, her evidence against Wang Jing was insufficient, and the leaders, workers, and brothers and sisters didn’t approve. She wouldn’t give up and continued gathering information behind the scenes, determined to expel Wang Jing from the church. Not only did she want to expel Wang Jing, but she also punished and suppressed Wang Jing’s husband and child, misleading and inciting the brothers and sisters to reject and ostracize Wang Jing’s husband, and even threatened to dismiss him, causing Wang Jing’s family great pain and negativity. During the dismissal of my elder daughter, I, as a church deacon, was present, and since I didn’t defend her, she harbored resentment toward me. Later, when writing evaluations, she described me as inhumane, extremely selfish, unfeeling, like a cold-blooded animal, and gave me very poor evaluations.

Reflecting on my daughter’s behavior, I read a passage of God’s words: “When antichrists are pruned, their attitude is not one of acceptance and obedience. Instead, they are resistant and averse to it, which generates hatred. They hate deep in their hearts everybody who prunes them, everybody who reveals the skeletons in their closet and exposes their actual circumstances. To what extent do they hate you? They grind their teeth with hatred, wish that you would disappear from their sight, and feel that the two of you cannot coexist. If antichrists are like this with people, then can they accept God’s words which expose and condemn them? No, they can’t. Whoever exposes them, they will hate just for exposing them and being unfavorable to them and they will retaliate. They wish they could make the person who pruned them get out of their sight. They cannot stand to see this person doing well. If this person died or met with disaster, they would be happy; as long as this person is alive and still doing their duty in God’s house, and everything carries on as usual, they feel suffering, unease, and annoyance in their hearts. When they do not have a way to retaliate against somebody, they secretly curse them, or even pray for God to bring punishment and retribution upon that person, and for God to redress their grievances. Once antichrists have generated this hatred, this leads to a series of actions. These actions include retaliation and curses, and of course some other actions, such as framing, slandering and condemning others, which stem from hatred. If someone prunes them, they will undermine that person behind their back. When that person says something is right, they will say it is wrong. They will distort all the positive things that person does and make them negative, spreading these lies and causing disturbances behind their back. They will incite and draw in others who are ignorant and can’t see through things or discern for themselves, so that these people join their side and back them up. Clearly the person pruning them has not done anything bad, but they still want to pin some misdeeds on this person, so that everyone mistakenly believes they do these kinds of things, and then get everyone to come together to reject this person. Antichrists disturb church life in this way and disturb people in the performance of their duty. What is their goal? It is to give the person pruning them a hard time and make everybody abandon this person. There are also some antichrists who say: ‘You pruned me and gave me a hard time, so I’m not going to give you an easy time of it. I’ll give you a taste of what it’s like to be pruned and abandoned. However you treat me, I will treat you. If you don’t give me an easy time, don’t think that you’ll have an easy time either!’” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Eight)). From God’s words, I saw that antichrists are especially vicious and malicious, particularly hating those who expose or offend them, and they won’t give up until they have beaten them down and ruined them. Comparing this to my elder daughter’s behavior, I gained some discernment of her. Because she disturbed church life by standing up for her mother, she was dismissed, and she held a grudge against the leader, Wang Jing, waiting for an opportunity to take revenge. After gaining a position, she used her power to maliciously frame and torment Wang Jing and her family. No matter how much everyone fellowshipped with her that Wang Jing didn’t meet the criteria for clearing out or expulsion, she wouldn’t listen at all, insisting on expelling Wang Jing from the church. I saw that my daughter’s disposition was extremely insidious and malicious, and that she always protected the evil person and retaliated against the dissenter, refusing to stop until she had destroyed others. I realized she was a devil and indeed should be expelled. If she remained in the church, she would only continue to disrupt and disturb, and become a scourge to the church.

Later, I read these words of God: “You still mingle with those demons today and treat them with conscience and love, but in this case are you not extending good intentions toward Satan? Are you not in league with demons? If people have made it to this point and are still unable to distinguish between good and evil, and continue to blindly be loving and merciful without any desire to seek God’s intentions or being able in any way to take God’s intentions as their own, then their endings will be all the more wretched. Anyone who does not believe in the God in the flesh is an enemy of God. If you can bear conscience and love toward an enemy, do you not lack a sense of justice? If you are compatible with those which I detest and with which I disagree, and still bear love or personal feelings toward them, then are you not rebellious? Are you not intentionally resisting God? Does such a person possess truth? If people bear conscience toward enemies, love for demons, and mercy for Satan, then are they not intentionally disrupting God’s work? Those people who believe only in Jesus and do not believe in God incarnate during the last days, as well as those who verbally claim to believe in God incarnate but do evil, are all antichrists, without even mentioning those who do not even believe in God. All these people will be objects of destruction” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). In God’s family, Christ holds power, and the truth reigns. The church expelled my daughter based on her essence, following the principles for expulsion. But when this happened to me, I didn’t seek God’s intention. I was unable to see through my daughter’s devilish essence, so I sympathized with and pitied her. I thought she had believed in God since childhood, and she gave up her studies, endured suffering and paid a price until now; how could she be expelled? So I complained to God in my heart, reasoning with Him. Wasn’t this exactly what God exposed as “extending good intentions toward Satan” and “in league with demons”? Wasn’t I opposing and resisting God? I had believed in God for many years, eaten and drunk so many of His words, and often told others “clearing out and expelling someone should be based on principles, not on feelings, even if it’s your own parents,” yet when my wife and daughter were expelled, I knowingly broke the rules, wanting to keep them in the church out of feelings, wasn’t I condoning evil people disturbing the church’s work? This was standing on the side of the evil people, resisting God! Realizing this, I felt a bit fearful in my heart, so, I prayed to God, willing to repent to Him and break free from the constraint of feelings.

I then read these words of God: “Everyone’s outcome is determined according to the essence that comes from their conduct, and it is always determined appropriately. No one can bear the sins of another; even more so, no one can receive punishment in another’s stead. This is absolute. … In the end, doers of righteousness are doers of righteousness, and evildoers are evildoers. The righteous will eventually be allowed to survive, while the evildoers will be destroyed. The holy are holy; they are not filthy. The filthy are filthy, and not one part of them is holy. The people who will be destroyed are all the evil ones, and the ones who will survive are all the righteous—even if the children of the evil ones perform righteous deeds, and even if the parents of the righteous ones commit evil deeds. There is no relationship between a believing husband and a nonbelieving wife, and there is no relationship between believing children and nonbelieving parents; these two types of people are completely incompatible. Prior to entering into rest, one has physical relatives, but once one has entered into rest, one will no longer have any physical relatives to speak of. Those who do their duty are enemies of those who do not; those who love God and those who hate Him are in opposition to one another. Those who will enter into rest and those who will have been destroyed are two incompatible types of created beings. Created beings that fulfill their duties will be able to survive, while those that do not fulfill their duties will be objects of destruction; what is more, this shall last through eternity. … There are physical relationships that exist between the people of today, as well as associations by blood, but in the future, these will all be shattered. Believers and nonbelievers are not compatible; rather, they are opposed to one another. Those in rest will believe that there is a God and will submit to God, whereas those who are rebellious against God will all have been destroyed. Families will no longer exist upon earth; how could there be parents or children or spousal relationships? The very incompatibility of belief and unbelief will have utterly severed such physical relationships!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). From God’s words, I understood that God is righteous and holy. God determines people’s outcomes without any fleshly feelings, treating everyone fairly and justly. God does not judge based on how much someone appears to have forsaken or expended themselves, but rather based on their essence and actions to decide their outcome, and evil people are destined to be eliminated. I did not understand God’s righteousness, so, when I heard that my daughter was expelled, I didn’t seek the truth or consider her nature essence to see what kind of person she really was, but instead lived in my feelings, sympathizing and pitying her. Now I saw clearly that although my daughter could give up her studies and do her duties, endure suffering, and pay a price, all her efforts were to gain status and reputation. Once she lost her position, and her interests were affected, her vicious nature was fully exposed. I used to think that our whole family believed in God, and that we could all be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven, but now I saw that this was my own notion and imagination. If one does not love the truth or even hates the truth, and their satanic disposition doesn’t change at all despite years of believing in God, how can they be saved? Through the experience of my daughter and wife being expelled, I saw that although our whole family initially believed in God, received the provision of God’s words, and did our own duties, after a few years, everyone’s essence and the path we took were gradually revealed. My wife and elder daughter committed many evil deeds and were exposed as evil people; we are two incompatible types of people, and no one can help or save the other. I thought of these words of God: “In the future, when humanity enters the beautiful realm, there will be none of the relationships between husband and wife, between father and daughter, or between mother and son that people imagine they will find. At that time, each human will follow their own kind, and families will already have been shattered. Having completely failed, Satan will never disturb humanity again, and humans will no longer have corrupt satanic dispositions. Those rebellious people will already have been destroyed, and only the people who submit will remain. As such, very few families will survive intact; how can physical relationships continue to exist?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). I didn’t understand God’s work, and out of my feelings, I protected my wife and daughter, wanting to maintain our fleshly family relationships, almost committing acts of resistance against God. I was so foolish and blind! I thought, “I can no longer be constrained by my feelings. I need to break free from the bondage of feelings and submit to this situation.” Gradually, my state improved, and I didn’t feel as much pain.

After experiencing all this, I became more discerning about my family. I let go of my feelings toward them from the bottom of my heart. At the same time, I also saw clearly that living by feelings makes one unable to distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong, and even capable of doing things that go against the truth principles, resisting and rebelling against God. Feelings are indeed God’s enemy. Living by feelings makes it impossible to practice the truth. I also saw that my stature was too small, my feelings were too strong, I lacked true submission to God, and I needed to experience God’s judgment and chastisement to transform my corrupt disposition.