By Yi Ting, China

In June 2022, the leader said that a church had recently been raided by the CCP, and now their gospel work was not effective, so the leader wanted me to go over as a supervisor. The leader also mentioned that five or six gospel workers had been arrested, and that new personnel needed to be cultivated quickly. I was a bit worried, thinking, “I’m already being hunted by the CCP, and I’ve nearly been captured twice. If I go there and put myself out in the open, will I be monitored and arrested by the police? If I am arrested, tortured, beaten to death, or unable to withstand the police’s coercion and inducements, and betray God, then my journey of faith in God will be completely over.” Thinking this, I didn’t want to agree, but I felt kind of guilty, thinking, “I’ve believed in God for many years, but when it comes down to it, I still always consider my own interests. I am truly rebellious! I can’t keep protecting my own interests.” With this in mind, I submitted and accepted this duty.

After arriving at the church, I learned that the gospel work was ineffective because the gospel workers were all living in a state of timidness. I quickly found some of God’s words to fellowship with the brothers and sisters, helping them understand truths such as God’s authority, that human life and death are in God’s hands, and that spreading the gospel is our mission. After hearing this, everyone’s faith was bolstered, they recognized their selfishness and baseness, felt remorse, and were willing to turn things around and cooperate properly on the gospel work. I felt so grateful to God. After a while, the gospel work improved. But unexpectedly, five months later, some more brothers and sisters were tracked and arrested. The sister who hosted our gatherings was also interrogated by the police. Then the leader sent a letter saying that the co-workers I had been in contact with recently had all been arrested, and now I was in danger too, and that I should leave quickly. After reading the letter, I was a bit panicked, thinking, “Recently, I have been out with these co-workers almost constantly, spreading the gospel. Now that they’ve all been arrested, if the police check their surveillance records, they will definitely find me. I’ve got to hide! I can’t let the police catch me!” I thought about how the police went to my house every year to inquire about my whereabouts, and about how if I really was caught this time, they definitely wouldn’t let me go. If I couldn’t withstand the torture and coercion and betrayed God, then in the end, not only would my body be punished, but my soul would also go to hell. So, I decided that hiding and protecting myself first were most important. I quickly handed over all the follow-up work to the leader, even though I knew there were potential gospel recipients who needed my preaching and newcomers who needed my watering, I pushed these things to the back of my mind.

Later, I heard that many brothers and sisters were spreading the gospel and doing their duties, and I looked at myself, who, fearing arrest, didn’t dare spread the gospel or testify to God. I asked myself, am I not one of the tares revealed in the great tribulation? The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I pondered, “Why do I believe in God? I am currently living a pathetic life to avoid being arrested by the police, and at a time when the gospel needs to be expanded, I do not step up and lack any testimony. I am truly neglecting my duty!” I read God’s words: “What I desire is your loyalty and submission now, your love and testimony now. Even if you do not know at this moment what testimony is or what love is, you should bring to Me your all, and turn over to Me the only treasures you have: your loyalty and submission. You should know that the testimony to My defeat of Satan lies within the loyalty and submission of man, as does the testimony to My complete conquest of man. The duty of your faith in Me is to bear witness to Me, to be loyal to Me and none other, and to be submissive to the end. Before I begin the next step of My work, how will you bear witness to Me? How will you be loyal and submissive to Me? Do you devote all your loyalty to your function, or will you simply give up? Would you rather submit to My every arrangement (even if it be death or destruction), or flee midway to avoid My chastisement? I chastise you so that you will bear witness to Me, and be loyal and submissive to Me. What’s more, the chastisement at present is to unfold the next step of My work and to allow the work to progress unimpeded. Hence, I exhort you to be wise and treat neither your life nor the significance of your existence as worthless sand. Can you know exactly what My work to come will be? Do you know how I will work in the days to come, and how My work will unfold? You should know the significance of your experience of My work, and furthermore, the significance of your faith in Me” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Do You Know of Faith?). God’s words suddenly awakened me. It’s true, God wants people’s loyalty and submission, and defeating Satan requires people’s loyalty as well. But after learning that my co-workers had been arrested, I worried that the police would check the surveillance records and find me, so I hid, considering my own safety, and I cast aside the potential gospel recipients without concern or any sense of responsibility. The calamity had become so great, but some potential gospel recipients had not yet heard God’s gospel, and the newcomers had not yet set down roots and were at risk of falling away, but I abandoned them without any concern. I was truly unworthy of trust. I always said I must be loyal to God, but when faced with the facts, I was revealed. What I said before were lies to deceive God. God wants people who can listen to His words, and those who can be loyal to God at all times, but I abandoned my duty and hid when faced with a little danger, not caring whether the lives of the newcomers would be impacted. I saw that I had no loyalty or testimony in the midst of tribulation and trials. I was such a disappointment to God! I thought of Job, whose vast wealth was taken by robbers in one night, and who became covered in boils, whose wife even urged him to abandon God, yet he preferred to curse himself rather than blame God in such physically and mentally painful trials, and he stood firm in his testimony, ultimately shaming and defeating Satan. I also thought of Abraham, who, with his own hands, raised a knife to kill his son to offer to God, showing absolute submission to God. In comparison, I had neither loyalty nor submission. I had to repent to God, follow the examples of Job and Abraham, and even if I was caught, tortured, and lost my life, I had to stand firm in my testimony and shame Satan. With these things in mind, I gained faith and strength, and quickly wrote to the leader, saying that I could move to another church to spread the gospel.

Later, I went to the Shu Guang Church. But a month later, the great red dragon extended its claws to the Shu Guang Church as well, and arrested a dozen brothers and sisters in one fell swoop. Then I heard that someone had sold us out as a Judas, and that the police had used a sister’s photo for the Judas to identify her. I thought about how this sister was often with me, and that if her photo was with the police, wouldn’t they have my photo too? If the police tracked her down, I would also be implicated. I also realized that because I wasn’t a local, if I was caught, the sentence would be heavier, so I should avoid going out in the open, or else I might be the next to be caught. So, I stopped going to church to cooperate on the gospel work. Later, I suddenly remembered how last time, because the church co-workers had been arrested, I hid in fear for more than twenty days, delaying the work. If I hid every time there was even the slightest sign of trouble, how could I spread the gospel? Thinking of this, my conscience was filled with guilt. When faced with tribulation, I thought not of how to protect the church’s work, but only of my own safety. I had been truly selfish and despicable! Later on, I began to meet with brothers and sisters, to fellowship with them on how to be loyal and fulfill our duties well.

After a period of time, several more churches were raided by the CCP, and the police also started watching the house where we had been gathering. Without a suitable place to gather, we had to meet at improvised locations, either in long-abandoned houses or near cemeteries. One day, when we were meeting in an old house again, a sister hurriedly ran over and said, “This place isn’t safe anymore. Yesterday, more than fifty policemen came to search houses, and several houses storing books of God’s words were searched. The police are still stopping and inspecting cars on the road!” Hearing this, my heart started pounding like a rabbit’s, and I thought, “The CCP has threatened that if they catch believers, they’ll beat them to death and die unavenged, so falling into their hands means almost certain death! I’ve always been hunted by the CCP, so if they catch me, they’ll definitely beat me to death.” At this thought, I shrank back again and didn’t dare spread the gospel. Later, I read the words of God: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—every sort of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Were they lawfully executed for their crimes? No. They were condemned, beaten, scolded, and put to death because they spread the Lord’s gospel and were rejected by the people of the world—that is how they were martyred. … Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their means of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the means of their death and departure was nor how it happened, it was not how God defined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, they used precisely those means to condemn this world and to testify to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to testify to God’s deeds, to testify to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to confirm to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redemption He did for all humanity allows humanity to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. Those who were martyred for spreading the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to what extent did they perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives. Family, wealth, and the material things of this life are all external things; the only thing that is related to the self is life. To every living person, life is the thing most worthy of being treasured, the most precious thing and, as it happens, these people were able to offer their most precious possession—life—as confirmation of and testimony to God’s love for mankind. Until the day they died, they did not deny God’s name, nor did they deny God’s work, and they used their last moments of life to testify to the existence of this fact—is this not the highest form of testimony? This is the best way of doing one’s duty; this is what it is to fulfill one’s responsibility. When Satan threatened and terrorized them, and, in the end, even when it made them pay the price of their lives, they did not abandon their responsibility. This is what it is to fulfill one’s duty to the utmost extent. What do I mean by this? Do I mean to have you use the same method to testify of God and to spread His gospel? You do not necessarily need to do so, but you must understand that this is your responsibility, that if God needs you to, you should accept it as something you are honor-bound to do” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). Reading God’s words gave me faith. The destiny of every person is determined by God’s sovereignty, and no matter what circumstances I come up against in spreading the gospel, I must uphold my duty as a created being. I thought of the disciples of the Lord Jesus who endured much persecution and tribulation to spread the gospel of the kingdom of heaven, and were ultimately martyred for the Lord. Some were crucified, some were dragged to death behind horses, and some were stoned to death, but they never abandoned their mission or responsibilities. Their bodies may have died, but their souls were in God’s hands, and the price of their life that they paid to spread the gospel earned God’s approval. Then, I recalled the words of the Lord Jesus: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). My life, death, future, and destiny are all in God’s hands. Even if the police capture me and beat me to death, they cannot terminate my soul. The death of the body is not terrifying, what is terrifying is hearing about danger and then hiding away in fear for my life, not daring to do my duty, and thus losing my testimony by living in such a pathetic way. Living like this, even if I wasn’t captured, I would still be eliminated when God’s work ends. Understanding this, I was no longer constrained by the fear of death.

One day, I read another passage of God’s words: “Besides considering their own safety, what do certain antichrists also think about? They say, ‘Right now, our environment is unfavorable, so let’s show our faces less and spread the gospel less. That way, we’re less likely to be caught, and the church’s work won’t be destroyed. If we avoid getting caught, we won’t turn Judas, and then we’ll be able to remain in the future, won’t we?’ Aren’t there antichrists who use such excuses to mislead their brothers and sisters? … What principles do they follow? These people say, ‘A crafty rabbit has three burrows. In order for a rabbit to guard against a predator’s attack, it has to prepare three burrows to hide itself in. If a person encounters danger and has to escape, but they have nowhere to hide, is that acceptable? We must learn from rabbits! God’s created animals have this survival ability, and people should learn from them.’ Since taking on leadership roles, they have come to realize this doctrine, and even believe that they have understood the truth. In reality, they are terribly frightened. As soon as they hear about a leader who got reported to the police because the place they lived in was unsafe, or about a leader who was targeted by the great red dragon’s spies because they went out too often to do their duty and interacted with too many people, and how these people ended up getting arrested and sentenced, they immediately become frightened. They think, ‘Oh no, will I be the next one to be arrested? I must learn from this. I shouldn’t be too active. If I can avoid doing some of the church’s work, I won’t do it. If I can avoid showing my face, I won’t do it. I’ll minimize my work as much as possible, avoid going out, avoid interacting with anyone, and ensure that nobody knows I’m a leader. These days, who can afford to care about anyone else? Just staying alive is already a challenge!’ Since taking on the role of a leader, apart from carrying a bag and hiding, they don’t do any work. They live on tenterhooks, in constant fear of being caught and sentenced. Suppose that they hear someone say, ‘If you get caught, you’ll be killed! If you weren’t a leader, if you were just an ordinary believer, you might be let out after just paying a little fine, but since you’re a leader, it’s hard to say. It’s too dangerous! Some leaders or workers who got caught refused to give up any information and were beaten to death by the police.’ Once they hear about someone being beaten to death, their fear intensifies, and they become even more afraid to work. Every day, all they think about is how to avoid getting caught, how to avoid showing their faces, how to avoid being monitored, and how to avoid contact with their brothers and sisters. They rack their brains thinking about these things and completely forget about their duties. Are these loyal people? Can people like this handle any work? (No, they can’t.) People like this are just timid, and we can’t definitely label them as antichrists based solely on this manifestation, but what is the nature of this manifestation? The essence of this manifestation is that of a disbeliever. They don’t believe that God can protect people’s safety, and they certainly don’t believe that dedicating oneself to expending for God is devoting oneself to the truth, and that it is something God approves of. They don’t fear God in their hearts; they are only afraid of Satan and wicked political parties. They don’t believe in God’s existence, they don’t believe that everything is in God’s hands, and they certainly don’t believe that God will approve of a person expending everything for His sake, and for the sake of following His way, and completing His commission. They can’t see any of this. What do they believe in? They believe that if they fall into the hands of the great red dragon, they’ll meet with a bad end, that they could be sentenced or even risk losing their lives. In their hearts, they only consider their own safety and not the work of the church. Aren’t these disbelievers? (Yes, they are.) What does the Bible say? ‘He that loses his life for My sake shall find it’ (Matthew 10:39). Do they believe these words? (No, they don’t.) If they are asked to take a risk while doing their duty, they’ll wish to hide themselves away and not let anyone see them—they’ll want to be invisible. This is the extent to which they are afraid. They don’t believe that God is man’s support, that everything is in God’s hands, that if something really goes wrong or they actually get caught, it’s permitted by God, and that people should have hearts of submission. These people don’t possess these hearts, this understanding, or this preparation. Do they truly believe in God? (No, they don’t.) Isn’t the essence of this manifestation that of a disbeliever? (Yes, it is.) That’s how it is. People like this are exceptionally timid, terribly frightened, and afraid of physical suffering and something bad happening to them. They become as scared as skittish birds and can’t perform their work anymore” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God exposes that antichrists are particularly selfish and despicable, and don’t believe in God’s sovereignty at all. When things happen to them, they always consider their own safety, prospects, and destinations. The responsibilities and mission of a created being do not exist in their hearts. When they face danger in their faith, they hide away. They do not care about the church’s work or the life entry of the brothers and sisters, nor do they consider the interests of the house of God at all. Looking at myself again, I saw that I was as selfish and despicable as an antichrist. When there was no danger, I could suffer and expend myself in my duty, but when real danger and hardship came, I hid like a turtle retracting its head into its shell at even the slightest sign of trouble, wanting to hide myself in a safe place where no one could find me, and completely disregarding the newcomers and the potential gospel recipients. Later, I learned that we had been sold out by a Judas, and I considered my own safety once again. I worried that because I wasn’t a local, I would be beaten to death or crippled if I was caught, or that I might not withstand the torture and sell out the church, losing my chance of salvation, so I didn’t want to go out to preach the gospel. I didn’t recognize God’s sovereignty, and when faced with danger, I pushed my duty to the back of my mind. I didn’t protect the interests of God’s house at all and I lived entirely in a state of timidness, fear, and self-preservation. I had been such a selfish and despicable disbeliever! Realizing these things, I felt even more regretful. I thought, “No matter what environment I am faced with next, I must do my duty properly.”

After this, the police arrests became more severe and the upper leadership transferred me to another church. Just two months after arriving at that church, I noticed that a tracker was installed on my electric bike. I thought, “Did the police track me here by checking the surveillance records along the way? If so, I have no way to escape!” I felt fearful again, scared that if I went out in the open, I would be arrested by the police. But I recalled God’s words from earlier, and I knew I couldn’t abandon my duty to protect myself again, as I would lose my testimony. I read more of God’s words: “Regardless of how ‘powerful’ Satan is, regardless of how audacious and ambitious it is, regardless of how great is its ability to inflict damage, regardless of how wide-ranging are the techniques with which it corrupts and lures man, regardless of how clever are the tricks and schemes with which it intimidates man, regardless of how changeable is the form in which it exists, it has never been able to create a single living thing, has never been able to set down laws or rules for the existence of all things, and has never been able to rule and control any object, whether animate or inanimate. Within the cosmos and the firmament, there is not a single person or object that was born from it, or exists because of it; there is not a single person or object that is ruled by it, or controlled by it. On the contrary, it not only has to live under the dominion of God, but, moreover, must submit to all of God’s orders and commands. Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God. In the eyes of God, Satan is inferior to the lilies on the mountain, to the birds flying in the air, to the fish in the sea, and to the maggots on the earth. Its role among all things is to serve all things, to serve mankind, and to serve God’s work and His plan of management” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). God is sovereign over all things. No person, event, and thing can surpass God’s authority. No matter how rampant and vicious Satan is, it cannot exceed the limits set for it by God. Without God’s permission, it does not dare to overstep the bounds, much less harm us. Satan is merely a pawn in God’s hand, serving to perfect God’s chosen people! I reflected on the years I’d spent spreading the gospel almost every day, running under surveillance cameras without being arrested. Once, at a hosting house, the police knocked, but we didn’t open the door, and half an hour later, we disguised ourselves before going out, the police downstairs didn’t recognize us, and we managed to escape. I saw that without God’s permission, the police couldn’t catch me. Realizing this, I resolved that if God allowed me to be arrested, I would submit to His orchestrations and arrangements and give my life to testify for Him.

Later, I read a hymn of God’s word, entitled “The Most Meaningful Life”: “You are a created being—you should of course worship God and pursue a life of meaning. Since you are a human being, you should expend yourself for God and endure all suffering! You should gladly and assuredly accept the little suffering you are subjected to today and live a meaningful life, like Job and Peter. You are people who pursue the right path, those who seek improvement. You are people who rise up in the nation of the great red dragon, those whom God calls righteous. Is that not the most meaningful life?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Practice (2)). Pondering over this hymn, I felt a sense of assurance in my heart. For a created being, being able to fulfill one’s duty is the most meaningful and valuable thing, and it is commemorated by God. Going through repeated persecutions and tribulations allowed me to truly see God’s almightiness and sovereignty and gain faith in Him, to discern the evil essence of the great red dragon, and to understand my own selfish nature. Most importantly, I learned how to face death. These are things I could not have gained in a comfortable environment. Thank God!