By Su Tian, China

In 2011, I accepted Almighty God with my mother. Since I was still in school at that time, I only attended gatherings on Sundays. In 2016, after graduating from high school, I came to the church to do my duties.

In August 2018, I was twenty-two years old. Because the CCP had always been persecuting and arresting Christians, I planned to go to a free and democratic country to believe in God. But unexpectedly, I was arrested at the airport. The police, to force me to sell out information on the church, made me stand with my feet together from 6 a.m. to 12 a.m. every day, for six or seven days at a time. I stood so long I became dizzy, my legs were sore and numb, and my breathing became rapid. The police also threatened me, saying, “If you don’t speak, we’ll hang you up and give you a taste of the ‘twin flames of ice and fire.’ We’ll use a high-temperature machine to burn you first, and then force water into you, repeating this process over and over. But by then, you won’t be able to talk even if you want to.” Thinking of my brothers and sisters who’d been tortured by the police, I felt a surge of fear in my heart, “Will I be able to take it if they torture me?” I silently prayed to God in my heart, asking God to give me strength and faith. Seeing that I wasn’t saying anything, the police pressed my head down and held a glowing cigarette butt to my nostrils. The thick smoke and heat penetrated my nostrils, choking me, and making it hard to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. They also burned the skin under my nostrils, and I felt a stinging pain. Then they pulled up my arm, lit a lighter, and burned my arm with the flame. I instinctively tried to pull my hand away, but the police held it tightly, not letting me move. My arms were burned for dozens of seconds, and it felt as though someone was tearing at my skin. The pain was unbearable, and after my arms were burned, they were left with ulcerations the size of eggs. The police even gave evil smiles and looks, and I was filled with fury, resentment, and fear. These devils were capable of anything, and I didn’t know how they would torture me next. I felt very weak and wanted to leave this hellish place as soon as possible. But I knew in my heart that I couldn’t be a Judas and betray my brothers and sisters to drag out my wretched existence. So I prayed to God in my heart, vowing that even if I died, I would not betray the interests of God’s house, and I swore never to become a Judas. A few days later, the police brought my family to make me sign the “Three Statements,” saying they would let me go if I did. My father, misled by the great red dragon, said he would disown me as his son if I didn’t sign. I knew this was Satan’s trick and refused to sign. The police then threatened me, saying, “We’ll give you one last chance tonight, but if you still don’t sign tomorrow, we’ll take you somewhere and deal with you properly!” Hearing this scared me, “They’re capable of anything, and toward those who believe in Almighty God in particular, they’re even more ruthless. If I keep refusing to sign, who knows how they’ll torture me?” The thought of suffering worse than death was terrifying, “What if I can’t endure the torture and become a Judas and betray God? Then I would offend God’s disposition and never have the chance to be saved again. If I sign the ‘Three Statements’ out of wisdom, but my heart doesn’t betray God, will God give me another chance?” In the end, I couldn’t overcome my inner weakness and signed the “Three Statements.”

After signing the “Three Statements,” the police let me go home. After returning home, I felt uneasy. Although I thought signing the “Three Statements” was done out of wisdom, I still signed them, and in God’s eyes, this was a mark of betrayal. Would God still save me? Later, my father wanted to take me out to work, and he also brought in relatives and friends from nearby to persuade me. I thought to myself, “I can’t leave. If I leave, my brothers and sisters won’t be able to find me. Then I’ll never have the chance to return to God’s house.” I felt like a lost bird, waiting all alone for an unknown answer. Half a month later, my brothers and sisters found me and fellowshipped with me about doing my duties. Seeing that I still had a chance to return to God’s house and do my duties, I was so moved that I almost cried, quickly nodding in agreement. After that, no matter what duty the church assigned to me, I did my best to fulfill it. But I would occasionally hear the brothers and sisters discussing the matter of signing the “Three Statements.” They’d say, “We absolutely cannot sign the ‘Three Statements.’ Signing the ‘Three Statements’ is a betrayal of God, and it paints us with the mark of the beast.” Every time I heard these words, my heart would ache, especially when I read these words of God: “Toward those who showed Me not the slightest loyalty during times of tribulation, I shall be merciful no more, for My mercy only extends so far. I have no liking, furthermore, for anyone who has once betrayed Me, much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends. This is My disposition, regardless of who the person may be. I must tell you this: Anyone who breaks My heart shall not receive clemency from Me a second time, and anyone who has been faithful to Me shall forever remain in My heart” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). I saw that God’s disposition is righteous, majestic, and doesn’t tolerate offense, and that God will no longer show mercy to anyone who betrays Him and wounds His heart. I thought about how I’d signed the “Three Statements” and betrayed God, “Have I already been eliminated by God? Does this mean that even if I believe to the very end, I can never be saved by God?” In particular, in the experiential testimony videos from God’s house, I saw brothers and sisters, who, after being captured, stood firm in their testimony in the face of all kinds of torture, resolutely refusing to sign the “Three Statements.” But I signed the “Three Statements” to avoid being tortured. Not only did I fail to bear witness for God, but I left behind a mark of shame, allowing Satan to mock me. I felt that God must have been truly disappointed in me. The more I thought about it, the more negative I became, and my heart ached as if being pierced by a knife. I couldn’t help but think, “I wish I hadn’t signed the ‘Three Statements.’ But what’s done is done. It’s not as if you can unspill a glass of water.” Later, God’s house began to investigate those who had signed the “Three Statements,” and I began to worry that I might be cleared out next. Though in the end, I wasn’t cleared out, I still lived in negativity. Many times, when I saw the brothers and sisters I was partnered with talking with one another about writing experiential testimony articles or life entry, I felt that I was different from them, that they were all brothers and sisters, and that they all had the opportunity to pursue the truth and be saved. But I was different. I had betrayed God, and God must have been utterly disgusted with me. I felt that people like me had no eligibility to pursue the truth, and that even if I believed until the end, it would all be useless, and I might just be a laborer, and that salvation would have nothing to do with me. I lived in a negative state, and every day, I just did my duties mechanically, with my heart filled with unspeakable pain. At that time, I often listened to a hymn of God’s words “If You Are a Service-Doer.” God asks us: “If you are truly a service-doer, can you render service to Me loyally, without any element of perfunctoriness or negativity? If you discover I have never appreciated you, will you still be able to stay and render lifelong service to Me?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)). Every time I heard this song, I was deeply moved. I am a created being, and believing in God and doing my duties is perfectly natural and justified, and even if God didn’t want me, I would still believe in Him to the end. As long as I had one more day to do my duties, I would do my best to fulfill my duties!

One day, I came across a passage of God’s words that addressed my state perfectly. Almighty God says: “There is also another cause for people sinking into the emotion of despondency, which is that some particular things happen to people before they’ve come of age or after they’ve grown into adults, that is, they commit some transgressions or do some idiotic things, foolish things, and ignorant things. They sink into despondency because of these transgressions, because of these idiotic and ignorant things they’ve done. This kind of despondency is a condemnation of oneself, and it is also a kind of determination of the kind of person they are. … Some people can sometimes let go of their emotion of despondency and leave it behind. They take their sincerity and all the energy they can muster and apply them to performing their duty, their obligations, and their responsibilities, and can even put all their heart and mind into pursuing the truth and contemplating God’s words, and they pour their effort into God’s words. The moment some special situation or circumstance comes along, however, the emotion of despondency takes hold of them once again and makes them feel incriminated again deep in their heart. They think to themselves, ‘You did that thing before, and you were that kind of person. Can you attain salvation? Is there any point in practicing the truth? What does God think of what you’ve done? Will God forgive you for what you’ve done? Can paying the price in this way now make up for that transgression?’ They often reproach themselves and feel incriminated deep inside, and they are always doubting, always grilling themselves with questions. They can never leave this emotion of despondency behind them or cast it off, and they feel a perpetual sense of unease about the shameful thing they’ve done. So, despite having believed in God for so many years, it’s as if they’ve never listened to anything God has said nor understood it. It’s as if they don’t know whether attaining salvation has anything to do with them, whether they can be absolved and redeemed, or whether they are qualified to receive God’s judgment and chastisement and His salvation. They have no idea of all these things. Because they don’t receive any answers, and because they don’t get any accurate verdict, they feel constantly despondent deep inside. In their innermost heart, they recall what they did over and over again, they replay it in their mind over and over again, remembering how it all began and how it ended, remembering it all from start to finish. Regardless of how they remember it, they always feel sinful, and so they constantly feel despondent about this matter over the years. Even when they’re doing their duty, even when they’re in charge of a certain job, they still feel like they have no hope of being saved. Therefore, they never squarely face the matter of pursuing the truth and regard it as something most correct and important. They believe that the mistake they’ve made or the thing they’ve done in the past are looked poorly upon by most people, or that they may be condemned and despised by people, or even condemned by God. No matter what stage God’s work is at or how many utterances He has made, they never face the matter of pursuing the truth in the correct way. Why is this? They don’t have the courage to leave their despondency behind. This is the final conclusion this type of person draws from having experienced this kind of thing, and because they don’t draw the correct conclusion, they are incapable of leaving their despondency behind them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). God described my exact state. Ever since I signed the “Three Statements,” the matter had been like a thorn in my heart, and I often felt heartbroken and distressed because of it. More than once, I asked myself, “Since I signed the ‘Three Statements’ and have been marked with the beast’s mark, will God still save someone like me? God wants people who can bear witness for Him, but not only did I not bear witness for God, but I even signed the ‘Three Statements’ and betrayed God, and I became a mark of shame. Has God already eliminated me?” Whenever I thought this way, my heart felt like it was being torn apart by a knife. I didn’t even know what to say in my prayers anymore. Although the church still gave me the opportunity to do my duties, and I was very grateful and wanted to carry them out as best as I could, my unrest just wouldn’t go away. Every time I heard brothers and sisters discussing those who’d signed the “Three Statements,” my heart would ache dully. Seeing the experiences of brothers and sisters standing firm in their testimony after being arrested made my heart hurt and ache even more. I thought these people were approved of by God, but I’d signed the “Three Statements” and betrayed God, making me unworthy of His salvation. Because I couldn’t shake off the shadow of signing the “Three Statements,” I often lived in a negative state, and I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm to pursue the truth or have life entry. I felt like a soulless shell of a person, only knowing to get things done each day. It seemed that only by doing things well could I atone for my transgressions, and only then would my heart feel a little comfort. Pondering God’s words, I realized that God hadn’t taken away my opportunity to pursue the truth. He’d even allowed me to train in doing the duty of a leader. If God had eliminated me, how would I still have the chance to do my duty? Much less would I be able to enjoy the watering and provision of God’s words in that case either. But I kept misunderstanding God and wasting so much time living in negativity! If I continued being this negative, it wouldn’t be God who’d eliminate me, but rather I’d be eliminating myself. I had to reflect on myself carefully and seek the truth to get out of this negative state.

Later, I saw a passage of God’s words that helped me find the root of the problem. Almighty God says: “People believe in God in order to be blessed, to be rewarded, to be crowned. Doesn’t this exist in everyone’s heart? It is a fact that it does. Although people don’t often talk about it, and even cover up their motive and desire to obtain blessings, this desire and motive deep in people’s hearts has always been unshakable. No matter how much spiritual theory people understand, what experiential knowledge they have, what duty they can perform, how much suffering they endure, or how much of a price they pay, they never let go of the motivation for blessings hidden deep in their hearts, and always silently toil in its service. Isn’t this the thing buried deepest inside people’s hearts? Without this motivation to receive blessings, how would you feel? With what attitude would you perform your duty and follow God? What would become of people if this motivation to receive blessings that is hidden in their hearts was gotten rid of? It is possible that many people would become negative, while some would become demotivated in their duties. They would lose interest in their belief in God, as if their soul had vanished. They would appear as if their heart had been snatched away. This is why I say the motivation for blessings is something hidden deep in people’s hearts. Perhaps, as they perform their duty or live the life of the church, they feel that they are able to forsake their families and gladly expend themselves for God, and that they now have knowledge of their motivation to receive blessings, and have put this motivation aside, and are no longer governed or constrained by it. Then, they think that they no longer have the motivation to be blessed, but God believes otherwise. People only view matters superficially. Without trials, they feel good about themselves. As long as they don’t leave the church or deny God’s name, and they persist in expending for God, they believe they have changed. They feel they are no longer driven by personal enthusiasm or momentary impulses in the performance of their duty. Instead, they believe they can pursue the truth, and that they can continuously seek and practice the truth while performing their duty, so that their corrupt dispositions are purified and they achieve some genuine change. However, when things happen that are directly related to people’s destination and outcome, how do they behave? The truth is revealed in its entirety” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). God exposed my true state. The negativity I felt was controlled by my intentions for blessings. After finding God, I was enthusiastic about expending myself for Him. I came to God’s house right after high school to do my duties full-time, thinking that if I continued pursuing like this, I would definitely enter the kingdom and enjoy the blessings of the kingdom of heaven. When I was caught and signed the “Three Statements” out of fear of torture, I felt that I had no hope of receiving blessings anymore, and all my doubts and misunderstandings of God came to the surface. I wondered, “After signing the ‘Three Statements,’ can God still forgive me? If God doesn’t save me, then do I still have hope for blessings? If there’s no hope for blessings, then what’s the point of believing until the end?” I became really negative inside. Especially later, when the leaders looked into the matter of my signing the “Three Statements,” I began to have suspicions that I might be cleared out at any time, and I felt that even though I was still able to enjoy the provision of God’s word and do my duties, I couldn’t escape the fate of being eliminated. I thought I had no hope of receiving blessings, and my heart felt like it was being crushed by a heavy stone. I felt like I had lost my soul, I was often enveloped in negativity and pain, and I couldn’t muster up the energy to do my duties or pursue the truth. I saw that my desire for blessings was too strong. All these years, the expenditures and sacrifices I’d made weren’t to satisfy God but to try to bargain with Him. When there was something to gain, I’d be really motivated in my duties, but when I couldn’t get blessings, I became overly negative. What was the difference between my pursuit and that of disbelievers? Thinking about it, I am just a created being, not even worthy of dust, but I’m able to come to God’s house, do my duties, and enjoy all the truths God expresses. I have received so much from God. But I wasn’t thankful at all for all that God had given me. I even shamelessly asked God for the blessings of the kingdom of heaven, and if I couldn’t receive blessings, I became so negative that I couldn’t pick myself up. I really had no humanity! Realizing this, I felt deeply regretful, so I prayed to God, willing to let go of my intentions for blessings and to repent.

After that, I read two more passages of God’s words and gained a clearer understanding of His intention. Almighty God says: “Most people have transgressed and besmirched themselves in certain ways. For example, some people have resisted God and said blasphemous things; some people have rejected God’s commission and not performed their duty, and were spurned by God; some people have betrayed God when they were faced with temptations; some have betrayed God by signing the ‘Three Statements’ when they were under arrest; some have stolen offerings; some have squandered offerings; some have frequently disturbed the church life and caused harm to God’s chosen people; some have formed cliques and handled others roughly, making a shambles of the church; some have often spread notions and death, harming the brothers and sisters; and some have engaged in fornication and promiscuity, and have been a terrible influence. Suffice it to say that everyone has their transgressions and stains. Yet some people are able to accept the truth and repent, while others cannot and would die before repenting. So people should be treated according to their nature essence and their consistent behavior. Those who can repent are those who truly believe in God; but as for the truly unrepentant, those who should be cleared out and expelled will be cleared out and expelled. … God’s handling of each person is based in the actual situations of that person’s circumstances and background at the time, as well as in that person’s actions and behavior and their nature essence. God will never wrong anyone. This is one side of God’s righteousness. For example, Eve was seduced by the serpent into eating the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but Jehovah did not reproach her by saying, ‘I told you not to eat it, so why did you do it anyway? You should have had discernment; you should have known that the serpent spoke only to seduce you.’ Jehovah did not reprimand Eve like that. Because humans are God’s creation, He knows what their instincts are and what those instincts are capable of, to what extent people can control themselves, and how far people can go. God knows all this quite clearly. God’s handling of a person is not as simple as people imagine. When His attitude toward a person is one of loathing or revulsion, or when it comes to what this person says in a given context, He has a good understanding of their states. This is because God scrutinizes man’s heart and essence. People are always thinking, ‘God has only His divinity. He is righteous and brooks no offense from man. He doesn’t consider man’s difficulties or put Himself in people’s shoes. If a person should resist God, He will punish them.’ That is not how things are at all. If that is how someone understands His righteousness, His work, and His treatment of people, they are gravely mistaken. God’s determination of each person’s outcome is not based in man’s notions and imaginings, but in God’s righteous disposition. He will repay each person according to what they have done. God is righteous, and sooner or later, He will see to it that all people are convinced, through and through” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “In the Bible there is a story about the return of the prodigal son—why did the Lord Jesus use this parable? It was to make people understand that God’s intention to save mankind is sincere, and that He gives people the opportunity to repent and change. Throughout this process, God understands man, knowing well their weaknesses and the degree of their corruption. He knows that people will stumble and fail. Just like a child learning to walk, no matter how physically strong they are, there will always be times where they fall and stumble, and times when they knock into things and trip over. God understands every person in the way that a mother understands her child. He understands each person’s difficulties, their weaknesses, and their needs. Even more than that, God understands what difficulties, weaknesses, and failures people will face in the process of entering into dispositional change. These are the things that God understands best. This means that God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts. No matter how weak you are, as long as you don’t renounce God’s name, or leave Him and this way, then you’ll always have the chance to achieve dispositional change. If you have this chance, then you have hope of surviving, and therefore of being saved by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Practice Toward Changing One’s Disposition). After reading God’s words, I gained some understanding of God’s righteous disposition. God does not judge whether a person can be saved based on their temporary behavior, nor does He condemn or eliminate a person based on a transgression caused by one incident. God knows our stature and truly understands our weaknesses. God measures a person primarily based on that person’s consistent behavior and whether they can accept the truth. If their behavior has been good overall, and if after committing a transgression they can accept the truth and truly repent, God will have mercy and show tolerance toward such a person. Just like David, who was filled with regret after taking Uriah’s wife, and after that, he never committed any adultery. Even when he was old, though a young woman was brought to warm him, he did not touch her. Though David transgressed, he genuinely repented, and God still approved of him. Some brothers and sisters have been expelled for walking the path of an antichrist, and for seriously disturbing the church’s work, but afterward, they truly repented and were readmitted into God’s house, and they even wrote experiential testimonies articles, bearing witness to God’s work of salvation upon them. From them, I saw that God’s attitude toward those who truly repent and can accept the truth is one of salvation. On the contrary, for those who have consistently performed poorly, do not accept the truth, or have not genuinely repented, God’s attitude is to condemn and eliminate them. For example, some people who signed the “Three Statements” afterward had no understanding or repentance for their betrayal of God, and they even sold out the church and their brothers and sisters. God doesn’t give such people extra chances because they are averse to the truth and have no conscience or reason. I thought about how I was weak for a moment and signed the “Three Statements,” but afterward, I felt self-blame and regret, and I wanted to repent and change. The church assessed that my overall behavior had been good, and that furthermore, I hadn’t done my duty for long, my experience was shallow, my stature was small, and after signing the “Three Statements,” I was truly regretful, so they gave me another chance. This was God’s mercy. But I didn’t understand God’s disposition and kept misunderstanding Him, thinking that I was merely laboring and would be eliminated once I was done laboring. I completely denied God’s righteousness, and I also denied God’s intentions to save humanity to the greatest extent. I realized that in my faith, I did not know God at all. I was truly blind! I’d imagined God to be like corrupt human beings. Was this not blasphemy against God? If I continued like this, I would never receive God’s forgiveness. I had to follow David’s example, face my transgressions calmly, and truly repent, and no matter whether God ended up saving me or eliminating me, I had to submit and accept it, and not worry about my own future prospects and paths.

Afterward, I wondered, “What was the root cause of my failure in signing the ‘Three Statements’ after I was arrested?” I read God’s words. “You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you are incapable of gaining these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? … I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals; is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to face God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been given to you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own personal pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). “Today, everyone in the world is undergoing trials, even God is suffering, so is it appropriate for you not to suffer? … Some people face the pain of family, some face the pain of marriage, and some suffer from persecution, lacking even a place to live. No matter where they go, it is someone else’s home, and they feel pain in their hearts. Isn’t the pain that you are experiencing right now the pain that God has suffered? You are suffering with God, and God accompanies humans in suffering. You all have a part in Christ’s tribulation, kingdom, and endurance today, and you will gain glory in the end! This suffering is meaningful. Isn’t that how it is? You cannot be devoid of this will. You must understand the meaning of suffering today and why you suffer so much. You must seek the truth and reach an understanding of God’s intention, and then you will have the will to suffer” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). From God’s words, I realized that the root cause behind me signing the “Three Statements” was that I cherished my flesh too much. I followed the satanic survival law of “Every man for himself, and the devil take the hindmost,” and I placed the interests of my own flesh above all else. In believing in God, I wished for there to be no hardships or pain at all, and for my flesh not to suffer, and even more, that there would be no need to experience any trials or tribulations. So when threatened with torture by the great red dragon, what was on my mind wasn’t how to stand firm in my testimony, but rather my fear of torture and suffering. I feared I wouldn’t be able to bear the torture and become a Judas, and I thought it would be better to sign the “Three Statements.” It seemed like my thoughts were quite positive, but in reality, I was thinking only of preserving myself, and I didn’t want my flesh to suffer even a bit. I was well aware that signing the “Three Statements” was a betrayal of God, yet I still dragged out my wretched existence by compromising and yielding to the devil. My actions were no different from those of a Judas. When God’s work is completed, if I still place too much value on my flesh and fail to bear true witness, not only would I not be saved by God, but I would, time after time, resist and betray God to satisfy my flesh, and in the end, I would surely suffer perdition and perish with Satan! From God’s words, I also realized that to be saved in one’s faith, one must endure many sufferings. Only through painful situations can we have true faith in God. Just as Peter followed the Lord Jesus—he experienced hundreds of trials and refinements throughout his life, he sought to love God in these refinements, and in the end, he attained the utmost love for God and submission unto death, and he was crucified upside down for God, becoming the first person throughout the ages to be perfected by God. There was also Job, who faced trials. He lost his vast wealth and children in an instant, his body became covered with boils, and yet Job was able to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and stand firm in his testimony for God, terrifying Satan, and becoming a truly free man. Compared to them, I am nothing. I was terrified and compromised with Satan even without facing serious torture. I was like a flower in a greenhouse that couldn’t withstand a little wind or rain. I was truly fragile! I had to pursue the truth and no longer cater to the flesh, and I vowed that if one day I were to be arrested again, even if life became worse than death, I would stand firm in my testimony.

At the end of July 2024, just after I arrived at the Dongyang Church, the neighboring church came under a large-scale arrest sweep, and the leaders urged us to quickly help relocate the books of God’s words. As soon as we moved a few book caches, the driver was suspected of being followed. In addition, the brother I was partnered with was also exposed to potential risks in this situation because of his coming into contact with the driver. When facing this situation, I was very scared. I thought about how I’d been followed by the police for a long time previously and had almost been arrested, and about how a Judas had also betrayed me and that I was a key target for the police to arrest. At this point, I’d only just managed to hide myself, but my partner had risks to his safety. I felt that if we were being targeted, I wouldn’t be able to escape, and that if the police caught me, they would definitely not let me go. But when I thought about the transgression I’d committed last time when I was arrested and signed the “Three Statements,” I had an intense feeling in my heart, “If I really am captured, I swear to never deny God, and that I will definitely bear witness to God!” When I thought like this, my heart was no longer constrained by this situation. Moreover, whether I would be captured or not was in God’s hands, and I had to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. Appropriate arrangements needed to be made for the books, various tasks needed to be implemented urgently, and I had to protect the interests of God’s house. So while I communicated with my partner to inquire about, look into, and discuss the relocation of the books, I wrote a letter to the church to follow up on the progress of the book relocation. By practicing this way, I felt much more at ease in my heart. The transformation and gains I attained are inseparable from the guidance of God’s words. I sincerely thank God!