By Chen Miao, China

In 2006, I accepted God’s work of the last days. Since then, I have been serving as a leader and worker in the church. Though I was busy and tired every day, I had no complaints, because I believed that leading and supervising were roles for those who pursued the truth, and that those doing these duties were highly regarded by the brothers and sisters. In 2018, I took on a text-based duty. I was very happy, and felt that I must be doing well, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been chosen for such an important duty. A few days later, an upper leader met with me and said, “The church is facing arrests by the CCP; the environment is tense everywhere, and we urgently need people to take on the duty of handling general affairs. We have discussed and would like you and your husband to take on this duty.” Hearing the leader’s words, my head felt like it was buzzing. I could hardly believe my ears, thinking, “How could they assign me to handle general affairs? Has the leader made a mistake? Isn’t handling general affairs just hard labor? How lowly is this duty! What will the brothers and sisters think of me if they find out?” The more I thought about it, the more resistant I felt, and I wanted to tell the leader that I didn’t want to take on this duty, but considering the church’s arrangement was based on work needs, I had no choice but to reluctantly agree. On the way home, my mind was in turmoil: “Since believing in God, I have always served as a leader and worker, or performed the text-based duty, and both of those duties sound more prestigious than the general affairs duty. Having to do that heavy, dirty and tiring work is nowhere near as prestigious as the text-based duty I’m currently doing, and if the sisters in the team know, won’t they surely look down on me, saying that I must not be pursuing the truth to end up with this duty?” When I got home, I lay on the bed feeling weak and powerless, but I put on a forced smile when facing the sisters, afraid to openly fellowship about my state, fearing that they might look down on me when they found out I was doing the duty of handling general affairs.

A few days later, my husband and I officially took on the duty of handling general affairs. In the first few days, we helped brothers and sisters who were in danger move to new houses. My husband and I would wake up at around three in the morning to help with the moves, running up and down stairs, and each day we were exhausted, with sore backs and aching waists, and when we got home at night, I didn’t even want to eat, too weak to even get up from bed. After a week of doing this work from dawn till dusk, I began to complain, “This is just hard labor. In the world, these jobs are done by those without knowledge, learning, or skills, and I never thought I’d fall to this level after all these years of believing in God, only able to do the most inconspicuous, labor-intensive tasks. I used to do the text-based work, sitting in front of a computer, wearing clean clothes and sheltered from the wind and rain, but now I’m sweating all over and exhausted every day! It’s like night and day!” I did my duty with resignation each day, with my state having fallen so low, feeling dazed like a walking corpse, with great inner torment.

In my pain, I came before God and prayed, “Oh God, the leaders arranged for me to handle general affairs, but I can’t submit. I feel that this duty is lowly and that it would make people look down on me. I don’t understand Your intention. Please enlighten and guide me to learn a lesson from this.” After praying, I read two passages of God’s words: “Some people often feel superior in the house of God. In what ways? What causes them to feel superior in these ways? For example, some people know how to speak a foreign language, and they think it means they have a gift and are skilled, and that if the house of God did not have them, it would probably be really difficult to expand its work. As a result, they want to make people look up to them everywhere they go. What method do people of this type employ when they meet others? In their heart, they assign all sorts of different ranks to people who perform different duties in the house of God. The leaders are at the top, people who have special talents come second, then come people who have average talents, and at the bottom are those who perform all sorts of supporting duties. Some people treat the ability to perform important duties and special duties as capital, and treat it as having truth realities. What is the problem here? Isn’t this absurd? Performing some special duties makes them arrogant and haughty, and they look down on everyone. When they meet someone, the first thing they always do is ask what duty they perform. If the person performs an average duty, they look down on them, and think this person isn’t worthy of their attention. When this person wants to fellowship with them, they are agreeable to it on the surface, but inside they think, ‘You want to fellowship with me? You’re just a nobody. Look at the duty you perform—how are you worthy of talking to me?’ If the duty the person performs is more important than theirs, they flatter them and envy them. When they see leaders or workers, they are obsequious and flatter them. Are they principled in the way they treat people? (No. They treat people according to the duty they perform, and according to the various different ranks they assign.) They rank people according to their experience and seniority, and according to their talents and gifts” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Practice of the Truth Is There Life Entry). “Whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). After reading God’s words, I understood that my perspective on duty was incorrect, and that I’d categorized the duties in God’s house into various levels. I thought that being a leader and worker or a team supervisor in God’s house meant that one was a person with good caliber and a strong pursuit of the truth, and brothers and sisters would hold such people in high regard, while those with the duty of handling general affairs were of poor caliber and lacking understanding of the truth, and doing such a duty was seen as inferior and didn’t let one show off. So I missed the duties I had done before, when brothers and sisters had looked up to me, and I always felt a sense of superiority over others, which made me very motivated in my duty, willing to forsake my family and career, and to suffer and expend myself. Now, when I was assigned the duty of handling general affairs, I felt as if I had been demoted, and inferior in front of brothers and sisters. Especially when the duty was painful and exhausting, I complained in my heart, and felt that such an arrangement by the leaders was unfair and damaged my integrity, and I just wanted to shirk this responsibility. At this point, I saw that my choice of duty was based on whether it allowed me to show off and benefit myself, and that I didn’t consider the church’s work at all. After believing in God for many years, I still didn’t view matters based on God’s words, but rather divided duties into various levels. My perspective was no different from that of a disbeliever. Realizing this, I felt upset and guilty.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “In the house of God, there is constant mention of accepting God’s commission and performing one’s duty properly. How does duty come into being? To speak broadly, it comes into being as a result of God’s management work of bringing salvation to humanity; to speak specifically, as God’s management work unfolds among mankind, various work appears that requires people to cooperate and complete it. This has given rise to responsibilities and missions for people to fulfill, and these responsibilities and missions are the duties God bestows upon mankind. In God’s house, the various tasks that require people’s cooperation are the duties they should perform. So, are there differences between duties in terms of better and worse, lofty and lowly, or great and small? Such differences do not exist; as long as something has to do with God’s management work, is a requirement of the work of His house, and is required by spreading God’s gospel, then it is a person’s duty. This is the origin and definition of duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). “What attitude should you have toward your duty? First, you must not analyze it, trying to ascertain who it was that assigned it to you; instead, you should accept it from God, as a duty entrusted to you by God, and you should obey the orchestration and arrangements of God, and accept your duty from God. Second, do not discriminate between high and low, and do not concern yourself with its nature, whether it lets you stand out or not, whether it is done in public view or behind the scenes. Do not consider these things. There is also another attitude: submission and active cooperation” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). After reading God’s words, I suddenly gained some light in my heart, and I understood that in God’s house, there are no distinctions between high or low, noble or humble duties. Regardless of the duty performed, it is all fulfilling one’s role and function, and it is all performing the duty of a created being. The church arranges which person performs what duty based on each person’s stature and caliber, and according to the needs of the church work. Regardless of the duty, it is all done to spread the gospel. The leaders assigned me the duty of handling general affairs, and arranging accommodation for brothers and sisters, organizing their lives properly so that they can do their duties with a peace of mind, which is also necessary for the work. It’s like a machine, every part has its role, and if any part is missing, the machine cannot operate. It is the same in God’s house, every duty is indispensable, and there is no such thing as ranks when it comes to duties. Moreover, whether one possesses the truth reality is not measured by the type of duty performed. Before, when I was doing the duty of a leader and worker, I often fellowshipped with brothers and sisters during gatherings, but when I was transferred into a new duty, I could not submit, and I measured it with a nonbeliever’s perspective, revealing my pitiable lack of truth. God says that any duty related to His management plan is a duty, that there is no distinction between high or low, noble or humble duties, and that all are responsibilities that one cannot shirk. However, I saw myself as elite, and thought that my being assigned to handle general affairs was a waste of my talents. I was negative, defiant, and even wanted to avoid it. How was I doing my duty? God’s essence is so holy and noble, yet He has endured all suffering to become flesh and express the truth, quietly laboring for the salvation of humanity. Reflecting on myself, when I suffered a little physical hardship, I complained endlessly and misunderstood. This attitude of mine toward my duty was simply lacking in humanity and truly hurt God! I felt deeply indebted to God and regretted my rebellious behavior. I could no longer choose my duty based on my own preferences and desires. When I submitted, my mindset toward my duty changed, and I felt less pained and tired in my heart. God’s arrangement of situations revealed my incorrect views, and this was God’s love and salvation for me.

After doing the duty of handling general affairs for six months, I thought my views had changed, and that I was no longer pursuing status or reputation, but when a situation arose, it revealed me again. One day, the leader came to discuss with me about assigning my husband and me to hosting duties. Considering the previous lack of submission in the duty of handling general affairs had left me with a debt, I knew that I could not be rebellious this time, so I agreed, and we soon rented a house. However, spending our days living with the brothers and sisters and seeing them all doing text-based duties, I felt a bit bitter and unhappy, thinking, “Before, I was also doing my duty at the computer, and now I am crouched in the kitchen every day, prepping vegetables and cooking.” I felt so inferior to them. Thinking this, tears welled up in my eyes. One day, the leader came to my home to discuss work with the brothers and sisters, and left without inquiring about my state, which made me feel even more down. I thought back on when I did text-based duties. I was valued by the leaders, but now I was just dealing with pots and pans all day long, and it seemed that I would never have a chance to stand out. The more I thought about it, the more painful it became, and I felt that life was meaningless. I realized that my state was not right, so I quickly sought God’s words to read. I read a passage of God’s words: “Under the driving force of a corrupt satanic disposition, what are people’s ideals, hopes, ambitions, and life goals and directions? Do they not run contrary to positive things? For example, people always want to have renown or be celebrities; they wish to gain great fame and prestige, and to bring honor to their ancestors. Are these positive things? These are not at all in line with positive things; moreover, they run counter to the law of God’s sovereignty over the fate of mankind. Why would I say that? What kind of person does God want? Does He want a person of greatness, a celebrity, a noble person, or a world-shaking person? (No.) So, then, what kind of person does God want? (Someone with their feet planted firmly on the ground who fulfills the role of a created being.) Yes, and what else? (God wants an honest person who fears Him and shuns evil, and submits to Him.) (Someone who stands with God in all matters, who strives to love God.) Those answers are also correct. It is anyone who is of the same heart and mind as God. Does it say anywhere in God’s words that people must keep to their position as humans? (It does.) What does it say? (‘As one member of created humanity, a person must keep their own position, and conduct themselves conscientiously. Dutifully guard that which is entrusted to you by the Creator. Do not act out of line, or do things beyond your range of ability or which are loathsome to God. Do not try to be a great person, a superman, or a grand individual, and do not seek to become God. This is how people should not desire to be. Seeking to become great or a superman is absurd. Seeking to become God is even more disgraceful; it is disgusting, and despicable. What is commendable, and what created beings should hold to more than anything else, is to become a true created being; this is the only goal that all people should pursue’ (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I).) Since you know what God’s words require of people, are you able to stick to God’s requirements in your pursuit of human conduct? Do you always want to spread your wings and take flight, do you always wish to fly solo, to be an eagle rather than a little bird? What disposition is this? Is this the principle of human conduct? Your pursuit of human conduct should be based on God’s words; only God’s words are the truth. … What is it that makes people always wish to be free of God’s sovereignty, and always wish to grab hold of their own fate and plan their own future, and wish to control their prospects, direction, and life goals? Where does this starting point come from? (A corrupt satanic disposition.) What then does a corrupt satanic disposition bring to people? (Opposition to God.) What comes of people opposing God? (Pain.) Pain? It is destruction! Pain isn’t the half of it. What you see right before your eyes is pain, negativity, and weakness, and it is resistance and complaints—what outcome will these things bring? Annihilation! This is no small matter, and it is no game” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. A Corrupt Disposition Can Only Be Resolved by Accepting the Truth). Thinking over God’s words, I realized that the reason I always wanted to do the duty of a leader and worker and pursued the admiration and esteem of others was because I was controlled by my desire for reputation and status. In living by “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” “Man struggles upward; water flows downward,” “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men,” and other such satanic poisons, I had come to mistake fame and prominence, and the pursuit of superiority as positive things, believing that living this way was valuable, and thinking that being looked down upon by others meant living without success and being inferior. I reflected on the time after I got married. Although my husband and I had stable jobs and life was manageable, I was ambitious and unwilling to live an ordinary life. I wanted to improve my life and gain admiration from relatives and colleagues. To achieve this, my husband and I worked side jobs alongside our regular jobs, raising chickens and growing vegetables, and we worked from dawn to dusk every day. As time went on, our lives improved, and relatives and colleagues praised my capability, which made me very happy and feel that my life hadn’t been in vain. After coming to the church, I still pursued reputation and superiority, believing that being a leader and worker or a team supervisor would make the brothers and sisters admire me. When my desire for reputation, gains, and status was satisfied, I could endure any hardship, but when it came to doing duties like handling general affairs or hosting others, I felt it was beneath me, and my heart was filled with resistance and complaints, and I was devoid of submission. I did not consider how to uphold the church’s work, and revealed a satanic disposition of opposing God. Realizing this, I felt very fearful, and came before God in prayer, “Oh God, my views on pursuit have been wrong, and in these years of believing in You, I have not been following the path of pursuing the truth, but rather using my duties to satisfy my own desire for reputation and status, and not sincerely doing my duty as a created being. God, I am willing to repent, and I ask You to guide me to understand the truth and correct my erroneous views on pursuit.” Afterward, I reflected, and realized that doing this duty was beneficial for my life entry. Although I had served as a leader and worker for many years, I had not pursued the truth, and many of my fallacious views remained unchanged. Being transferred to a different duty forced me to reflect and know myself, which contained God’s love and salvation for me. Understanding this, I felt regretful and guilty, and I just wanted to let God orchestrate me as He wishes, and sincerely cooperate with a heart of seeking and submission in any duty.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Everybody is equal before the truth, and there are no distinctions of age or of lowliness and nobleness for those doing their duties in God’s house. Everybody is equal before their duty, they just do different jobs. There are no distinctions between them based on who has seniority. Before the truth, everybody should keep a humble, submissive, and accepting heart. People should be possessed of this reason and this attitude” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Eight)). “Ultimately, whether people can attain salvation is not dependent on what duty they do, but on whether they can understand and gain the truth, and on whether they can, in the end, entirely submit to God, put themselves at the mercy of His orchestration, give no consideration to their future and destiny, and become a qualified created being. God is righteous and holy, and these are the standards He uses to measure all mankind. These standards are immutable, and you must remember this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I saw God’s righteous disposition. In God’s eyes, we are all created beings and are equal. God does not favor someone just because they are a leader, or look down on someone because they handle general affairs. God expresses the truth, providing for every person, and so long as people thirst for and pursue the truth, everyone has the same opportunity for salvation. God does not determine a person’s outcome based on the type of duty they do, but according to their essence and the path they walk. If a person does not pursue the truth, does not practice God’s words, and their disposition does not change, even if they are a leader and worker, they will ultimately be eliminated. At this point, I also understood that no matter how high my status or how many people admire me, these things cannot save me. Only by pursuing the truth and seeking a change in disposition according to God’s intention is there an opportunity for salvation. Understanding these things, I felt liberated in my heart, and from then on, I only wished to do my duty well and make up for my debt to God. When doing my duty after this, I no longer focused on how brothers and sisters viewed me, but thought about how to ensure the safety of the house and host the brothers and sisters well, so they could do their duties in peace. In addition, while doing the hosting duty, I focused on reflecting on my thoughts and corruptions revealed in my daily interactions with people, events and things, and I sought God’s words to resolve them, paying attention to writing devotional notes, and practicing writing experiential testimony articles, and each day has been quite fulfilling. It is the chastisement and judgment of God’s words that corrected my fallacious views, and the change I have today is the result of God’s work. Thank God!