By Yang Qing, China

In July 2006, I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days. My husband supported my belief in God, and he received brothers and sisters who came to our home warmly. Later he heard that believers in Almighty God could face oppression and arrest by the government, and he went to ask my cousin, who worked in a procuratorial office, about it. After he came home he said to me, “Your cousin says the government is cracking down on religious belief, especially believers in Almighty God. Also, one believer will implicate their entire family. Don’t believe in Almighty God anymore. If you must believe, go to a Three-Self church.” I could see that my husband didn’t understand matters of faith. “The Three-Self Church was established by the Communist Party,” I told him. “They put patriotism and love of Party first, then love of God. They see the Party as greater than God. That’s not faith. I won’t go to the Three-Self church.” “I know it’s good having faith in Almighty God,” he said resignedly, “but you have to see the situation clearly. It’s the Communist Party’s world now, and if you keep your faith we might lose our jobs. Are you willing to give up your job at the hospital? What’s more, we have a mortgage and we need money to raise our daughter. How can we live without money? If you’re sentenced to prison, people will look down on me and our daughter will be ridiculed by her classmates. You have to think of us, too! You should stop believing.” I knew it was inevitable that my husband, as a nonbeliever, would have these concerns, so I said to him, “The Communist Party is atheist and has always persecuted those who believe in God. I won’t give up my faith because of the Party’s persecution. The fearful can’t get into the kingdom of heaven—don’t you know that? Disasters are getting worse and worse now. The Savior Almighty God has expressed the truth and performed the work of judgment of the last days, which is to completely cleanse and save mankind so we can survive calamity and be taken into God’s kingdom. It’s an opportunity that will never come again! Faith in God means there’ll be some temporary suffering and danger, but through this we can acquire the truth and be saved by God. That’s what matters.” My husband said, “Entering God’s kingdom is a long way off. The most realistic thing right now is to live a good life. I’m not concerned about what may happen in the future, and I’m not going to give it any thought.” Later, he argued with me when he saw that I was still going to gatherings and doing my duty. He said: “Always being on edge like this is no way to live. If you carry on believing, our family will break up.” I thought: “Perhaps the family really will break up if I insist on my faith. My daughter’s only nine, and not having a full family would hurt her so much!” At the time I didn’t want to lose my family, but my husband was standing in the way of my faith, and if things went on like this how could I do my duty? My daughter, my family, and God—I wasn’t ready to give up any of them. Just as I was struggling with this dilemma, I thought of Lord Jesus’ words: “He that loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me: and he that loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he that takes not his cross, and follows after Me, is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:37–38). I thought of all those saints through the ages who gave up everything to fulfill God’s commission by spreading the gospel and bearing witness to God, and how I, nourished by so much truth from God, had to be mindful of God’s intentions and couldn’t abandon faith and duty just to protect my family. I thought about God, who came incarnate to save us outright from Satan’s power, quietly expressing truths to water and sustain us while enduring oppression, arrest, vilification and condemnation by the great red dragon as well as rejection and slander by the religious community. So great is the love that God has for mankind! I’d received so much from God, all the while treasuring my family and daughter and not thinking of how to repay God’s love. Where was my conscience? At this thought, I felt deeply indebted to God and resolved that no matter how my husband stood in my way or pressured me, I would follow God; I would spread the gospel and bear witness to God.

Subsequently, the Communist Party’s oppression of the church became more severe and my husband’s opposition intensified. In the latter half of 2007, under the guise of maintaining stability for the Olympic Games, the Party cracked down on religious belief and suppressed churches, and a number of brothers and sisters were arrested. One morning in September as I was getting ready to go out to share the gospel, my husband stopped me and wouldn’t let me leave. He called my older brother over, and said, “A few days ago your cousin said that the Committee of Political and Legal Affairs coordinated a joint operation of the security and justice agencies, deploying lots of personnel to carry out mass arrests of believers in Almighty God. Once arrested, they’re sentenced. So stop believing in God, okay?” My brother also urged me, “I know that faith is a good thing, but the Party doesn’t allow people to have faith in God. We haven’t the strength to fight them, so if you must practice your faith, do it at home. Stop going out to spread the gospel. What would you do if you were arrested?” I said: “I know that you want the best for me, but the most just thing to do is to have faith in God and share the gospel, so that more people can be saved by God and survive. This is the greatest possible good deed. Wouldn’t it be incredibly selfish of me to stop sharing the gospel just to protect myself?” At that, my husband dropped to his knees and said, “I’m begging you. For our home, for our child, stop having faith in God. Faith means our daughter wouldn’t get into university or go on to find a good job. Her prospects would be ruined! We only have one child—you have to think of her! If you’re arrested people will talk about me behind my back when I go out. Tell me, what dignity does that leave me?” Seeing my husband like that, I really didn’t know what to do. He was always so proud, but here he was begging me on his knees, in front of my brother. It would only hurt him even more if I insisted on my belief. And what would happen to my daughter if the Party eventually prevented her from going to university on account of my faith, leaving her unable to find a good job and make a career for herself? Even my brother was opposed to my faith. My family would probably stand in the way of my faith if they knew it was causing a rift between me and my husband. That would make the path of faith even harder for me. But if I gave in to my husband and promised to give up my faith, wouldn’t that be betraying God? The more I thought about it, the more anxious I became, so I said a silent prayer asking God to protect my heart. At that point I recalled a passage of God’s words which I had read before: “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human disturbance. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). Indeed! On the outside it looked as if it was my family standing in my way, but actually it was Satan tempting me. Believing in God and doing my duty, I was on the right path. Satan was using my family to stand in my way and get me to betray God. I couldn’t fall for Satan’s tricks, but I had to stand firm, bear witness and humiliate Satan. Thinking on this, I solemnly said to them, “God decides everything. Our work and our futures are orchestrated by God, regardless of what the Communist Party says. The rise and fall of countries and political parties, not to mention the fate of one insignificant individual, are all in God’s hands. You both know how ill I was before becoming a believer, and I would have died long ago if not for God. God gave me this life and I’ve received so much from Him. For me to not have faith or do my duty would be unconscionable. Would I even be human? Would my life have any meaning?” My brother frowned and said, “It’s true, you were cured after finding faith. But we’re living under the Communist Party now, and they want to arrest believers. Isn’t going out to preach the gospel just putting yourself in the line of fire?” My husband was at his side, agreeing. But I insisted on my faith, no matter what they said. Seeing I wasn’t to be moved, they turned to harsher tactics. About a month later, the moment I got home from a gathering one day, my husband slapped me in the face and said angrily, “The Party is arresting believers like crazy but you’re still attending gatherings. I told you not to believe, but you insist on believing! I’ve respected you all these years, never raising a hand against you. Your brother and sister-in-law say I’ve spoiled you and should keep you in line, and not give you the opportunity to carry on believing in God.” I stared at him, astonished at his behavior. Afraid to look me in the eye, he lowered his head and said, “I really don’t want to hit you. I don’t want you to be arrested and thrown in jail for your faith in God. It’s for your own good.” Hearing this from him was really upsetting. My husband had always been really good to me, but out of fear of persecution he’d become a tool for the Communist Party. He was trying to get me to betray God. How was that for my own good? Later on, seeing I was determined to keep my faith, he simply stopped going to work. He followed me closely, wouldn’t let me read God’s words, go to gatherings, or do my duty. There was a lot of work to do in the church at that time, but he had me under house arrest and I couldn’t do my duty. I urged him not to block my faith. I said, “God protected you those times you were nearly in a car crash, back when you were supporting my faith. God has given us so much grace, how can you resist and reject Him?” He said, “In the past, your faith in God was beneficial, but now it’s not the same. So long as you have faith in God, the Party won’t leave you alone and our family will suffer. Can we survive off faith?” Later, not wishing to be implicated, he said we should divorce. That hit me hard, but my hatred for the great red dragon was greater. He was persecuting and beating me and now he wanted a divorce. It all stemmed from the Communist Party’s oppression. I recalled this passage from God’s words: “Now is the time: Man has long since gathered all his strength, he has devoted all his efforts and paid every price for this, to tear off the hideous face of this devil and allow people, who have been blinded, and who have endured every manner of suffering and hardship, to rise up from their pain and rebel against this evil old devil. Why put up such an impenetrable obstacle to the work of God? Why employ various tricks to deceive God’s folk? Where is the true freedom and the legitimate rights and interests? Where is the fairness? Where is the comfort? Where is the warmth? Why use deceitful schemes to trick God’s people?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (8)). The Party is an anti-God, God-hating demon. It arrests and persecutes believers to hinder and wipe out God’s work. It fabricates all sorts of rumors to slander God’s work and fool the people so that they also oppose God and are ultimately destroyed. It even oppresses and persecutes the families of Christians, so that whole families suffer for the faith of one person. My family supported my faith at first, but the Party’s persecution and rumors led them astray, turning them into accomplices resisting God. The Party is so wicked! I thought of another passage of God’s words: “As someone who is normal, and who pursues the love of God, entry into the kingdom to become one of the people of God is your true future, and a life that is of the utmost value and significance; no one is more blessed than you. Why do I say this? Because those who do not believe in God live for the flesh, and they live for Satan, but today you live for God, and live to follow the will of God. That is why I say your lives are of the utmost significance. Only this group of people, who have been selected by God, are able to live out a life of the utmost significance: No one else on earth is able to live out a life of such value and meaning” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Know God’s Newest Work and Follow His Footsteps). Pondering God’s words was illuminating for me. I had accepted God’s work of the last days. I’d been able to enjoy so much watering and sustenance from His words, do my duty as a created being, share the gospel and bear witness for God, and help more people to come before God and be saved. It was the most just, most valuable thing to be doing, and I couldn’t give up my faith and my duty to protect my family. I had to follow God until the end, even if it meant getting a divorce. So, I said to my husband, “I’m committed to taking this path. Since you insist on divorce, I agree.”

We went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to handle the procedure that very day. Just as I was filling out the paperwork, my brother and his wife burst in, dragged me into their car without a word and took me to their shop. My dad was already there, and the moment he saw me he raised his hand to hit me, but the staff rushed over to stop him. He yelled, “I thought the government supported your faith. I didn’t know you could be arrested and that your family would be implicated. You can’t carry on believing in God. I’ll disown you if you do!” I said, “Dad, we were created by God, He rules over everything. Humans should have faith and worship Him.” Before I could finish, my brother barked, “You still want to have faith if it means losing your family?” I said firmly, “There’s nothing wrong with my faith. He wants this divorce—I’m not the one walking away from the family.” My brother yelled, “My friend who works for the government said it has issued a document designating believers in Almighty God as key targets for suppression. He told us to monitor you and keep you from your faith so that we’re not implicated alongside you.” At this, he picked up a bamboo strip and hit me in the eyes with it while saying, “This’ll teach you for not seeing how things are!” It really hurt to be treated like that by my family. I used all my strength to break free from them and ran outside. I was sobbing all the way back home. I felt so helpless and alone, and really didn’t know how to stay on this path. In tears, I prayed to God, “Oh God, now my whole family is against me, standing in my way, telling me I can’t have faith. It’s really hard for me. God, please guide me to understand Your intention and know how to get through this situation.” I thought of a passage of God’s words after praying: “Because it is embarked upon in a land that opposes God, all of God’s work faces tremendous obstacles, and accomplishing many of His words takes time; thus, people are refined as a result of God’s words, which is also part of suffering. It is tremendously difficult for God to carry out His work in the land of the great red dragon—but it is through this difficulty that God does one stage of His work, making manifest His wisdom and His wondrous deeds, and using this opportunity to make this group of people complete” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). Through God’s words I understood that God is working in the last days in the country of the great red dragon, where He is most fiercely opposed, and that we who follow Him are certain to suffer oppression and exclusion. God works this way so we can see through the great red dragon and its evil, anti-God essence, and not be misled by it anymore. It’s also to perfect our faith so we can learn to lean on God through hardship, and follow God without being constrained by Satan’s forces, and have true faith in God. But after a little suffering I felt that having faith was too hard. I was living in negativity and wanted to escape the situation. I really lacked faith. Confronting these hardships, I knew I had to accept them from God. I needed to pray and seek the truth, and stand firm in my witness for God. As a created being, that was what I ought to do. I didn’t feel so miserable once I understood God’s intention. Later, I learned my husband didn’t actually want a divorce, but had talked about it with my family and they’d thought this would force me to give up my faith.

Not long after that, when my husband was taking us shopping in the car, he suddenly turned onto the freeway and drove straight to a mental hospital. He dragged me in to the consulting room and said to the doctor, “She believes in Almighty God and has been evangelizing. You have to lock her in and keep her apart from other believers. Like a detox. She can come out once she’s free of her faith and won’t evangelize anymore.” It was so heartbreaking. He wanted to put me in with mental patients to stop my faith in God. Being locked up in there could drive a person crazy! I said to the doctor right away, “I’m a doctor too. First determine if I have any mental health issues before admitting me.” Then I gave him an orderly rundown of how I’d managed our household affairs over the previous few years. After hearing me out, the doctor told my husband, “She’s not mentally ill. We can’t admit her. We can’t guarantee her safety if you insist on leaving her here.” My husband kept demanding that the doctor take me in. I said, “If you lock me up, I’ll commit suicide here.” Afraid that it would be his responsibility, the doctor wouldn’t admit me. My husband had no choice other than to take me home.

I saw clearly from what had happened that while my husband always claimed to be doing what was best for me, it was just a show. Time after time he was protecting his own interests, while hurting and humiliating me. He even wanted to institutionalize me. He was capable of doing anything to keep me from my faith. That he was going against God, in step with the Party, demonstrated that he too loved evil, venerated power and hated the truth. God’s words say: “Believers and nonbelievers are not compatible; rather, they are opposed to one another” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). We were on two different paths. I despaired of him, and it was only for the sake of our child that I didn’t get a divorce. After that, he never stopped arguing and shouting, and demanding that I give up my faith. Especially in the run-up to the Olympics, when my cousin said that the government was focusing on arresting believers in Almighty God, and that believers were being punished harshly and no one could bail them out, my husband kept a closer watch on me and followed my every movement. He had me under house arrest for 11 days. There was no way for me to practice my faith at home. To do that, and perform a duty, I would have to leave the family. But I really couldn’t bear to part with my daughter. It would be so hard for her if I left! Without me by her side and no one to look after her properly, what would happen if she was led astray? Tears poured from my eyes whenever I thought of it. In the depths of misery, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). After reading God’s words, I thought back over my years of faith. Satan was always using my relatives to oppress and disturb me, to push me away from God and get me to betray Him. I was with my family but I wasn’t happy, and my husband wouldn’t let me read God’s words or share the gospel and do my duty. It was a painful way to live. God arranged for me to be born in the last days and accept His gospel so I could pursue the truth, be saved and fulfill my duty as a created being. That was what I should pursue. I thought of God’s words: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). It’s true. For every person that comes into this world, God determined long ago what path we’d take and how much we’d suffer. No one can help anyone else. I gave birth to my daughter, but her fate was in God’s hands. God long since decided how much she’d suffer and how many blessings she would enjoy in her life. Even if I was by her side, I couldn’t shoulder any of the suffering that was destined for her. I couldn’t even control my own fate, let alone hers. I just had to entrust my daughter to God and submit to His rule. Then one day, while my husband was asleep, I managed to sneak out of the house.

To my surprise, just a couple weeks later, a leader told me my husband was bothering the brothers and sisters every day and saying that if I didn’t go back he’d report them to the police. I had to go home so they wouldn’t get in trouble. This time around, my husband monitored me more strictly. He kept me locked indoors, with the key hidden, and was always within a few feet of me. He watched even when I was cooking and when I went to the bathroom. He kept the TV on from morning till night, forcing me to watch the news and patriotic movies with him every day, saying that he wanted to brainwash me. He said my cousin told him not to give me any chance to pray or read God’s words, and that to get me to abandon my faith he had to keep pumping whatever was on TV into me, so that there was no room for religious thoughts. He also told me that he couldn’t give me a moment of peace, because the moment I prayed, God would give me a way out, then I’d go to gatherings and evangelize again. Angrily, I told him, “It’s my freedom to have faith. Why are you going along with the Communist Party, oppressing me and depriving me of my freedom? You’ve enjoyed plenty of God’s grace thanks to my faith, and you’ve seen what God can do. Now you’re blocking my faith and oppressing me. It’s not just oppressing me—it’s going against God!” To my surprise he yelled back, “I’m going against God, so have Him come punish me!” I was absolutely shocked. How could he say such a thing? He’d lost all reason. He kept me locked up like this for a week or so, unable to even step outside. I couldn’t read God’s words, go to gatherings, or do my duty. It was sheer misery. I had no appetite and couldn’t sleep. I was thinking how everyone else was doing a duty, while I remained locked indoors by my husband, deprived even of the right to pray. If that went on, wouldn’t I grow farther and farther from God? What’s more, my family members were all on my husband’s side, oppressing me. I could hardly take it anymore! The more I thought about it the worse I felt. I was alone, and helpless.

One evening when my husband was asleep, I said a silent prayer to God. It was, “God, I cannot read Your words. I feel so weak inside. Oh God, my stature is so small. Please give me faith and strength.” I thought of a passage of His words after praying: “Those whom God refers to as ‘overcomers’ are those who are still able to stand firm in their witness and maintain their confidence and devotion to God when under the influence of Satan and while being laid siege to by Satan, that is, when they find themselves amidst the forces of darkness. If you are still able to keep a pure heart before God and maintain your genuine love for God no matter what, then you are standing firm in your witness in front of God, and this is what God refers to as being an ‘overcomer’” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Maintain Your Devotion to God). God’s words showed me that in the last days, He wants to make a group of people into overcomers, who, under Satan’s attacks and persecution, will not yield to the forces of darkness. Instead, they will hold fast to their faith and their devotion, and bear wonderful witness to God. I felt inspired, and ready to submit and learn a lesson. No matter how my husband blocked and oppressed me, I’d stand firm in my testimony and satisfy God. Later, when my husband was asleep, I’d contemplate God’s words, silently praying or singing a hymn to myself, and this brought me some joy. On the nineteenth day of my house arrest, my husband began getting headaches, neck pain and backache the moment he picked a fight with me. The angrier he was the more it hurt, to the point of crying out in pain, until he didn’t dare argue anymore. Finally he said: “I can’t take it anymore! The longer I keep you locked up the more spirited you become. I’m just making myself sick instead.” The following day he went to work leaving me locked indoors. One day I happened to find the key, and slipped out of the house while he wasn’t there. I was so grateful to God for providing a way out, and that I could finally attend gatherings and do my duty again.

My husband didn’t monitor me as closely after that. Occasionally, when he tried hard to oppose and stop me, he’d get sick and have a terrible pain in his neck. One day, in March 2012, he told me, “All these years I’ve wanted you to choose between our family and your faith, but you never gave up your faith. Let’s put an end to this today. There are two paths ahead of you. If you stay in this house, you can’t follow God, and if you follow God, you can never come back to this house.” I said to him, with conviction, “I’ve chosen the path of belief in God, and I’ll never turn back.” Then I packed my bags and left the house, joining the ranks of all who do their duty. Thanks be to Almighty God!