By Mariana, Italy

In 2020 I was doing design work in the church, mainly drafting. After a while, I found that drafting was slower-paced than other work. My supervisor was overseeing other work too, so she wasn’t keeping close track of ours. I started slacking off. No one was rushing me, so I just performed routine duties. I figured as long as I wasn’t idle and finished some drawings every day, that was fine. Anyway, it was relaxing work. I didn’t need to rush it or physically suffer at all. I was skilled at drafting; I was familiar with all the principles and the work. So I thought I was sure to be kept in that duty, and I’d be saved in the end. With that kind of perspective, I didn’t have any daily goals or plans in my duty. I just did as much as I could and was fine with however much I got done. I didn’t ever seem idle, but I was perfectly relaxed. When I was drawing I had a really hard time focusing. I immediately checked any messages that popped up in my chatting software, responding and handling things regardless of the importance or urgency. I’d fritter away quite a bit of time without realizing it. Sometimes we had morning gatherings, and if I used my time well that day I could finish three drawings, but I’d feel really complacent after finishing the first one, thinking that since the morning gathering had already taken up half the day, doing two drawings was enough. So I’d drag my feet and only end up finishing two. Not only that, but I’d use my spare time to watch the news. I wasn’t thinking about my life entry or considering what problems there might be in my duty. During that time, I was just toiling in my duty, not focusing on reading God’s words or self-reflecting. I showed corruption but didn’t seek the truth to resolve it. I figured I didn’t have any particular difficulties in my work and I’d completed a decent number of designs, so I was doing alright in my duty.

The workload kept increasing, but our pace of drawing was too slow, so work got backlogged. There was one design that was actually held up for an entire month. When the supervisor found out about it and looked into our daily work output, she realized how low our productivity was and really harshly pruned us for being lazy and negligent in our duty. She said that we didn’t have any sense of urgency even when we saw how backed up the work was, and no one reported it, and that we were careless, didn’t shoulder a burden, and dragged our feet in our duty, which was a hindrance to the gospel work. I was really taken aback to hear the supervisor say that. I generally felt like I stayed pretty busy and got a lot done, so why was it so little when carefully calculated? Didn’t that make me a parasite leeching off of the church? I’d be dismissed and eliminated if that continued. After that, under the supervisor’s oversight my efficiency in my duty improved somewhat. But seeing all the pending designs made me anxious. In particular, the supervisor was following up more closely on work, sometimes asking detailed questions and looking into where we were struggling. When she noticed us working in a perfunctory way, she used a harsher tone with us. I felt annoyed. Easy for her to pass judgment, but this was asking too much. She thought doing those designs was easy? I was already working hard. She could demand all she liked, but I wasn’t superhuman! I was in a resistant state, so I didn’t feel willing to suffer any more or pay a price. My superficial efforts to hurry up were just for the supervisor to see. I was afraid I’d be pruned if I was too slow. I felt like I was being dragged along and I was super tired every day. I would often fantasize about how great it would be if I could get all the drawings done in an instant, and I even envied other sisters, thinking their duties were so relaxing, unlike mine, with endless designs to do every day. It was boring and tiring, and I’d be pruned if I worked slowly. I thought the assignment was no good. Since I wasn’t in the right state, for a while I was constantly sleepy. I was getting plenty of sleep at night, but during the days I was half-asleep. I had to muster up my energy to work on designs. After that I noticed the two sisters I was working with had some issues in their work. One of them didn’t understand the principles and her nitpicking over small issues was holding up our progress. The other one was always just muddling through, but I just casually pointed these things out without following up or telling our leader about it. Our team leader eventually found out about these issues and handled them, but by then our work had already been held up.

One day the leader sought me out unexpectedly and said, “You’re being perfunctory, slick, and irresponsible in your duty. You only make an effort when someone pushes you. You’re not genuinely expending yourself for God. Based on your behavior, you’re dismissed. You can do design work part-time, but without repentance you won’t be needed in future.” I was left speechless by the leader’s exposure of me. That really was how I’d been doing my duty, but that situation felt so sudden to me. I couldn’t accept that reality right away. I acknowledged that I had delayed the work of the church and that had done actual harm. I was really miserable and full of regret and self-reproach, and I could feel that God’s righteous disposition tolerates no human offense. When God looks at someone, He doesn’t look at how well they appear to behave, how busy they look. He looks at their attitude toward the truth and their duty. But I’d had a really lax attitude toward my duty, making perfunctory efforts and dragging my feet, and I always had to be pushed by others. I didn’t make a change after I was pruned and I’d disgusted God long before. Being dismissed was God’s chastening and discipline. I just had myself to blame—I was reaping what I’d sowed. I felt ready to submit and truly reflect on myself and repent to make up for my past transgressions. But something I didn’t understand was that at first I’d wanted to do a good job, so why had I turned out to do my duty that way? What was the reason for that? I prayed to God in my confusion, asking Him to enlighten me to understand my issue.

Then I read this passage of God’s words once in my devotionals: “If you performed your duty conscientiously and responsibly, it wouldn’t even take five or six years before you were able to talk of your experiences and bear testimony to God, and the various work would be carried out to great effect—but you are not willing to be considerate of God’s intentions, nor do you strive toward the truth. There are some things you do not know how to do, so I give you exact instructions. You do not have to think, you just have to listen and get on with it. That is the only bit of responsibility you must take on—but even that is beyond you. Where is your loyalty? It is nowhere to be seen! All you do is say pleasant-sounding things. In your hearts, you know what you should do, but you simply do not practice the truth. This is rebellion against God, and at root, it is a lack of love for the truth. You know full well in your hearts how to act in accordance with the truth—you just don’t put it into practice. This is a serious problem; you are staring at the truth without putting it into practice. You are not someone who submits to God at all. To perform a duty in God’s house, the least you must do is seek and practice the truth and act according to the principles. If you cannot practice the truth in your performance of your duty, then where can you practice it? And if you do not practice any of the truth, then you are a disbeliever. What is your purpose, really, if you do not accept the truth—much less practice the truth—and simply muddle along in the house of God? Do you wish to make God’s house your retirement home, or an almshouse? If so, you are mistaken—God’s house does not take care of freeloaders, of wastrels. Anyone of poor humanity, who does not perform their duty gladly, who is unfit to perform a duty, must all be cleared out; all disbelievers who do not accept the truth at all must be eliminated. Some people understand the truth but cannot put it into practice in performing their duties. When they see a problem, they do not solve it, and even though they know it is their responsibility, they do not give it their all. If you do not even carry out responsibilities that you are capable of, then what value or effect could performing your duty possibly have? Is it meaningful to believe in God in this way? Someone who understands the truth but cannot practice it, who cannot bear the hardships they ought to—such a person is unfit to perform a duty. Some people who perform a duty really do so just to be fed. They are beggars. They think that if they do a few tasks in God’s house, their room and board will be taken care of, that they will be provided for without needing to get a job. Is there such a thing as a bargain like that? God’s house does not provide for loafers. If anyone who does not practice the truth in the least, and who is consistently perfunctory in performing their duty, says they believe in God, will God acknowledge them? All such people are disbelievers and, as God sees them, evildoers” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). Thinking over God’s words, I felt like He was revealing me right to my face. He described exactly how I did my duty. I thought back over one thing after another that had happened. When I noticed the supervisor didn’t follow up on work much, I started taking advantage of that, being sly and cunning. I didn’t look idle, but didn’t get much done. In my free time, I wasn’t thinking about what issues there were in my duty or about my life entry, but I’d watch the news out of curiosity—there wasn’t anything proper in my heart. I was totally unaware of how I was delaying our work progress. I improved my work efficiency a little bit after being pruned by our supervisor, but I was forcing myself to make the effort just so I wouldn’t be dismissed. I was resistant and resentful of her oversight and supervision, and even got annoyed by doing my duty. I felt like it was a thankless, difficult job. I knew one of the sisters I was working with was just muddling through and holding up work, but I turned a blind eye. I realized I didn’t have any sincerity toward my duty. I wasn’t practicing the truth at all, or considering God’s intentions. I just cared about my physical comforts and relaxation. I was a parasite looking for a free meal from the church. I had no conscience or reason! I wasn’t behaving any differently from those disbelievers who just care about eating their fill and gaining blessings. I wasn’t doing my duty that way because I didn’t understand the job or have the right skills. It was because I was lacking humanity and didn’t pursue the truth, and because I coveted comforts of the flesh. I wasn’t worthy of doing a duty in the church at all.

I read some of God’s words in my self-reflection: “All God’s chosen people are now practicing performing their duties, and God makes use of people’s performance of their duties to perfect one group of people and eliminate another. So, it is the performance of duty that reveals each sort of person, and each sort of deceitful person, disbeliever, and evil person is revealed and eliminated in the performance of their duty. Those who perform their duties loyally are honest people; those who are consistently perfunctory are deceitful, shrewd people, and they are disbelievers; and those who cause disruptions and disturbances in performing their duties are evil people and antichrists. … All people are revealed in performing their duties—just set a person to a duty, and it will not take long before it is revealed whether they are an honest person or a deceitful person, and whether or not they are a lover of the truth. Those who love the truth can perform their duties sincerely and uphold the work of God’s house; those who do not love the truth do not uphold the work of God’s house in the least, and they are irresponsible in performing their duties. This is immediately clear to those who are clear-sighted. No one who performs their duty poorly is a lover of the truth or an honest person; such people will all be revealed and eliminated. To perform their duties well, people must have a sense of responsibility and a sense of burden. This way, the work will definitely be done properly. It is only worrying when someone does not have a sense of burden or responsibility, when they have to be prompted to do everything, when they’re always perfunctory, and they try to shift the blame when problems arise, leading to delays in their resolution. Can the work still be done well then? Can their performance of their duty yield any results? They do not wish to do any of the tasks that are arranged for them, and when they see others who need help with their work, they ignore them. They only do a bit of work when ordered, only when push comes to shove and they have no choice. This is not performing a duty—this is hired labor! A hired laborer works for an employer, doing a day’s work for a day’s pay, an hour’s work for an hour’s pay; they’re waiting to get paid. They’re afraid of doing any work their boss doesn’t see, they’re afraid of not being rewarded for anything they do, they only ever work for appearances’ sake—which means they have no loyalty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). “To believe in God is to walk the right path in life, and one must pursue the truth. This is a matter of the spirit and of life, and it is a different thing from nonbelievers’ pursuit of wealth and glory, of making an eternal name for themselves. These are separate paths. In their jobs, nonbelievers think about how they can do less work and make more money, of the dubious tricks they could play to earn more. They think all day long about how to get rich and build up their family fortune, and they even come up with unscrupulous means to achieve their goals. This is the path of evil, the path of Satan, and it is the path that nonbelievers walk. The path walked by believers in God is that of pursuing the truth and gaining life; it is the path of following God and gaining the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). I saw from God’s words that nonbelievers work with an employee mindset. They want more money for less work, or better still to be paid without lifting a finger. When someone checks in on them they put on an act and do some work, but they’re slippery and deceitful when no one’s watching. No matter how the work is going, they feel no great urgency so long as they’re paid on time. I realized I was exactly the same. When there wasn’t any pressure or hardship in my duty, when I didn’t have to suffer or pay a price, I felt like that duty really wasn’t bad. I thought as long as I wasn’t idle and I could complete some tasks, I wouldn’t be eliminated, that I’d be qualified to stay in the church and I’d be saved in the end, killing two birds with one stone. I didn’t look particularly lazy and others didn’t see any problems, but I wasn’t putting my all into it—I was content with just a little work. I looked over some inconsequential information the rest of the time, perusing unimportant stuff to find out some novel things. I was constantly dawdling. When our work was delayed, I acted like it was no big deal and calmly carried on as usual. When I was pruned and exposed, I put a bit more effort in to save some face and not get dismissed, but as soon as the standards were raised, I was resistant and complained, and wanted to switch to an easier, more relaxing duty. It looked like I was doing my duty, but I was just completing a task for my supervisor to see. I had no sincerity toward my duty or toward God. I wanted to pay a small price in exchange for the blessings of the kingdom of heaven. That was trying to conduct a transaction with God. I never realized that I was such a slippery, cunning person. I’d enjoyed everything God had given me and the sustenance of His words, but I just sought ease and comfort in my duty, doing whatever kept me from suffering, without considering the church’s work at all, or God’s urgent will. I had no fear of God. How was that doing a duty? I was clearly delaying the church’s work, and I was an opportunist freeloading off of the church. In my reflection I realized I was so selfish because I’d been upholding satanic philosophies, like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Making an arduous effort to win office for the sake of food and clothes,” and “Life is short; enjoy it while you can.” These things had become my nature. Living by these things, I just considered my own fleshly interests in my actions. I felt like in our lives, we have to be kind to ourselves, that exhausting ourselves and working too hard isn’t worth it. Being free and easy is great, and worrying and getting worn out is a losing situation. I always had that attitude in my duty, being perfunctory and sluggish, which ended up delaying the church’s work and ruining my own character. I was a believer, but wasn’t practicing God’s words, instead living according to Satan’s devilish words, becoming increasingly selfish, crafty, and depraved. I had no character or dignity and wasn’t worthy of trust. Even for a nonbeliever at work, if they approached things with that kind of opportunistic mentality, they might get away with it for a while but eventually they’d be found out. And what’s more, I was doing a duty in the church and God had seen right through my games and tricks. He saw that I wasn’t truly expending myself for Him at all, but was just getting by. At that point it occurred to me—no wonder I was always feeling sleepy and listless at work and couldn’t feel God’s presence. It was because I was being slick and deceitful, which was disgusting and odious to God. He’d hidden His face from me long before. Without the Holy Spirit’s work, I became very numb, so no matter how well I knew the work or how experienced I was, I wouldn’t do a good job.

Later I read more of God’s words that clarified the nature of being perfunctory in a duty for me, and I could also see that God’s disposition is unoffendable. God says: “How you regard God’s commissions is extremely important, and this is a very serious matter. If you cannot complete what God has entrusted to people, then you are not fit to live in His presence and you should be punished. It is perfectly natural and justified that humans should complete whatever commissions God entrusts to them. This is man’s supreme responsibility, and is just as important as their very lives. If you do not take God’s commissions seriously, then you are betraying Him in the most grievous way. In this, you are more lamentable than Judas, and should be cursed. People must gain a thorough understanding of how to treat what God entrusts to them and, at the very least, they must comprehend that the commissions He entrusts to humanity are exaltations and special favors from God, and that they are most glorious things. Everything else can be abandoned. Even if a person must sacrifice their own life, they must still fulfill God’s commission” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). “Once, I entrusted someone to do something. As I explained the task to him, he carefully made a record of it in his notebook. I saw how careful he was in recording it—he seemed to feel a sense of burden for the work, and have a careful, responsible attitude. Having conveyed the job to him, I set to waiting for an update; two weeks went by, and still, he had not sent word back. So, I took it upon Myself to find him, and asked how the task I had given him was coming along. He said, ‘Oh, no—I forgot about it! Tell me again what it was.’ How do you feel about his answer? That was the sort of attitude he had when doing a job. I thought, ‘This person really is untrustworthy. Get away from Me, and quick! I don’t want to see you again!’ That was how I felt. So, I will tell you a fact: You must never associate the words of God with the lies of a trickster—doing so is abominable to God. There are some who say they are as good as their word, that their word is their bond. If that is so, then when it comes to God’s words, can they do as those words say when they hear them? Can they implement them as carefully as they do their personal affairs? Every sentence of God’s is important. He does not speak in jest. What He says, people must implement and execute. When God speaks, is He consulting with people? He certainly is not. Is He asking you multiple-choice questions? He certainly is not. If you can realize that God’s words and commission are orders, that man must do as they say and implement them, then you have an obligation to implement them and execute them. If you think that God’s words are just a joke, just casual remarks that can be done—or not done—however one likes, and you treat them as such, then you are quite without reason and unfit to be called a person. God will never speak to you again. If a person is always making their own choices when it comes to God’s requirements, to His commands and His commission, and treating them with a perfunctory attitude, then they are a sort of person that God loathes. In things I command and entrust to you directly, if you are always needing Me to supervise you and urge you on, to follow up with you, always making Me worry and make inquiries, requiring that I check everything for you at every turn, then you ought to be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). I learned from God’s words that anything He says, anything He demands must be carried out, must be adhered to by a created being. If we don’t take God’s words seriously, but always need others’ oversight and reminders in our work, or we just reluctantly do a little when someone forces us, that is essentially deceiving and cheating God, which is disgusting to Him. That kind of person doesn’t deserve to hear God’s words or stay in the church, but should be eliminated. I felt really afraid when I thought over God’s words, especially the part where He says: “This person really is untrustworthy. Get away from Me, and quick! I don’t want to see you again!” I was regretful and guilty about previous transgressions in doing my duty, and tears just kept running down my face. Looking back on my attitude toward my duty, it was just like what God exposed; it was incredibly casual. This is a crucial period for the expansion of the kingdom gospel and the other brothers and sisters are all dying to do a duty. But I was coveting my fleshly comforts, leisurely and perfunctory in my duty, content just to labor without trying to be efficient, which impacted my work results. I was a slacker, derelict in my duty, loafing around, just thinking of my own contentment. The church entrusted me with a vital job and I should have given it my all, I should have fulfilled my responsibility. Instead, I treated it as capital, as a bargaining chip I could use to live off of the church without suffering or paying a price at all, or thinking of how to improve my work. I was just doing the bare minimum. I didn’t care how slow my progress was or how anxious God was. I just cared about not wearing myself out. I was negligent and unmindful in my duty, just wanting to get by, dragging my feet wherever possible. God didn’t have any place in my heart, and I didn’t have a God-fearing heart at all. Didn’t being so casual toward my duty make me even lowlier than a dog? Dogs are loyal to their owners. Whether their owner is by their side or not, they fulfill their responsibilities and watch over their owner’s home. Based on the way I acted, I wasn’t worthy of continuing to do a duty. I swore to myself that from that day forward, I would repent and make up for what I owed.

Then in my devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words that gave me a path for how to do my duty in the future. God’s words say: “What did Noah think in his heart, once God had commanded him to build an ark? He thought, ‘From today onward, nothing matters as much as building the ark, nothing is as important and urgent as this. I have heard the words from the Creator’s heart, I have felt His pressing intention, so I must not delay; I must build the ark that was spoken of and asked for by God with all haste.’ What was Noah’s attitude? One of not daring to be neglectful. And in what manner did he execute building the ark? Without delay. He carried out and executed each detail of what was spoken of and instructed by God with all haste, and with all his energy, without being at all perfunctory. In sum, Noah’s attitude toward the Creator’s command was submission. He was not unconcerned with it, and there was no resistance in his heart, nor was there indifference. Instead, he diligently tried to understand the intention of the Creator as he memorized every detail. When he comprehended God’s pressing intention, he decided to pick up the pace, to complete what God had imparted to him with all haste. What did this mean, ‘with all haste’? It meant completing, in as little time possible, work that would previously have taken a month, getting it done perhaps three or five days ahead of schedule, without dragging his feet at all or the least procrastination, but pushing ahead with the whole project as best he could. Naturally, while carrying out each job, he would try his hardest to minimize losses and errors, and not to do any work such that it would have to be repeated; he would also have completed every task and procedure on schedule and done them well, guaranteeing its quality. This was a true manifestation of not dragging one’s feet. So, what was the prerequisite for his being able not to drag his feet? (He had heard God’s command.) Yes, that was the prerequisite and context for this. Now, why was Noah able not to drag his feet? Some people say Noah was possessed of true submission. So, what did he possess that allowed him to achieve such true submission? (He was considerate of God’s heart.) That’s right! This is what it means to have heart! People with heart are able to be considerate of God’s heart; those without heart are empty shells, fools, they do not know to be considerate of God’s heart. Their mentality is: ‘I don’t care how urgent this is for God, I’ll do it however I please—in any case, I’m not being idle or lazy.’ This kind of attitude, this kind of negativity, the total lack of proactiveness—this is not someone who is considerate of God’s heart, nor do they understand how to be considerate of God’s heart. In which case, are they possessed of true faith? Definitely not. Noah was considerate of God’s heart, he had true faith, and was thus able to complete God’s commission. And so, it is not enough to simply accept God’s commission and be willing to make some effort. You must also be considerate of God’s intentions, give your all, and be loyal—which requires you to have a conscience and reason; it is what people ought to have, and what was found in Noah” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). I saw from God’s words that Noah gained God’s approval because he had true faith in God and was considerate of His will. When he received God’s commission, he made building the ark his priority. He didn’t think about his physical suffering or how hard it would be. In that pre-industrial age, building such a huge ark must have required lots of physical and mental effort, and he had to withstand others’ mockery. Under these circumstances, Noah stayed strong for 120 years to complete God’s commission, ultimately comforting God’s heart. Noah genuinely expended himself for God and deserved God’s trust. But as for me, with no one pushing me and watching me, I exploited the chance to be lazy and sly, to covet my fleshly comforts, dragging my feet in my work, never concerned about how much I held things up. I really had no humanity and didn’t deserve God’s salvation. Now I knew that doing a duty should be like Noah building the ark, that there needs to be real action. I have to make every second count to forge ahead, to work more efficiently. Even if no one’s pushing me or checking up on me, I need to be responsible and do everything I can. That’s the only way to be a person with a conscience and humanity.

After that I started scheduling my time. When I wasn’t doing design work, I used my free time to help out with another duty and I kept a close eye on my own state. My schedule was really full every day, but I felt really at peace, and I was more invested in my duty than before. Sometimes when a job was just about done and I had the urge to slack off again, or drafting was held up because I hadn’t arranged my schedule well, I wanted to indulge myself, thinking that I wasn’t a member of the team and no one was pushing me forward, plus I was helping out with another job, so being a little slower on design work was justifiable. Thinking that, I realized I wasn’t in the right state and rushed to seek the truth to resolve it. I read this in God’s words: “When people perform their duty, they are, in fact, doing what they ought to do. If you do it before God, if you perform your duty and submit to God with an attitude of honesty and with heart, will this attitude not be far more correct? So how should you apply this attitude to your everyday life? You must make ‘worshiping God with heart and honesty’ your reality. Whenever you want to be slack and just go through the motions, whenever you want to act in a slippery way and be lazy, and whenever you get distracted or would rather be enjoying yourself, you should consider: ‘In behaving like this, am I being untrustworthy? Is this putting my heart into doing my duty? Am I being disloyal by doing this? In doing this, am I failing to live up to the commission God has entrusted to me?’ This is how you should self-reflect. If you come to find out that you are always perfunctory in your duty, that you are disloyal, and that you have hurt God, what should you do? You should say, ‘In the moment I sensed that there was something wrong here, but I didn’t treat it as a problem; I just glossed over it carelessly. I didn’t realize until now that I really had been perfunctory, that I had not lived up to my responsibility. I truly am lacking in conscience and reason!’ You have found the problem and come to know a bit about yourself—so now, you must turn yourself around! Your attitude toward performing your duty was wrong. You were careless with it, as with an extra job, and you did not put your heart into it. If you are perfunctory like this again, you must pray to God and let Him discipline and chasten you. You must have such a will in performing your duty. Only then can you truly repent. You may turn yourself around only when your conscience is clear and your attitude toward performing your duty is transformed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Frequent Reading of God’s Words and Contemplation of the Truth Is There a Way Ahead). Reading God’s words gave me more clarity on a path of practice. A duty is a commission given to us by God. Whether anyone is supervising us or not, we should accept God’s scrutiny and put our all into it. Always needing someone to push me to do a little was lacking devotion, and even others found that disgraceful. I couldn’t keep being that way, but I had to have a God-fearing heart and accept His scrutiny. I should be proactive in my duty without needing others to urge me on. When things were hectic in both jobs and I needed to pay a price, I arranged my schedule ahead of time and did my absolute best, trying not to be perfunctory about my work. When I approached things that way, after a little while I started to see some results in my duty. I had to put more into it than before and I expended some energy, but I didn’t feel tired at all—I felt calm and at peace. When I encountered difficulties in my duty, through seeking the truth, I made more gains. I made progress in my professional skills as well as my life entry.

One day in June of 2021, the leader came to talk to me and told me I was being reassigned to the team. I was so excited I didn’t even know what to say, and I gave my heartfelt thanks to God. The experience had shown me how lazy, selfish and vile I was. I truly hated myself, and now knew to treasure the opportunity of doing a duty. I also had a bit of a God-fearing heart. Sometimes I still felt lazy, and then I prayed to God and asked Him to scrutinize my heart. When I got perfunctory, sly, and cunning, I would ask God to expose, chasten, and discipline me right away. Since putting that into practice I’d become a lot less devious and work-shy than before, and had achieved better results in my duty, which made me feel really fulfilled. The leader told me later that I was doing my duty a lot better than before. I was really moved to hear that, as well as motivated. I knew I still wasn’t doing enough and I needed to keep working hard. I’m grateful for God chastening and disciplining me, which has helped me change my attitude toward my duty.