By Xiao Wei, China

In 2017, I was doing text-based duty in the church. During a gathering, I heard that Chen Xia had been dismissed, and that she was considered an antichrist, and that materials were being prepared for her expulsion. Hearing this news, I was in total turmoil and couldn’t calm down—I just couldn’t accept it. I met Chen Xia after we’d both found the Lord, and we did our duties together after accepting God’s work of the last days. Chen Xia was very enthusiastic back then. Her husband stood in the way of her faith, and she shed many tears over this. Eventually, she divorced her husband. After the divorce, she continued to do her duties with a strong sense of burden. It was particularly noticeable to me how much Chen Xia loved reading God’s words, and when I cooperated with her, she would get up in the early hours of winter to read God’s words. She would even copy important passages from God’s words into a notebook and take them out to read whenever she had time. She’d often tell me, “We need to read God’s words more and put effort into them, otherwise we won’t be able to do our duties well.” I thought to myself, “She loves reading God’s words so much, so she must be someone who pursues the truth.” And I held her in high regard in my heart, thinking that not only was she able to make sacrifices and do her duties, but that she was also able to put in a lot of effort to read God’s words, and that in this regard, I just couldn’t compare with her and needed to learn from her. After that, whenever I faced difficulties or didn’t understand something, I liked to seek her fellowship and hear her views and advice. Later, when Chen Xia was assigned to another place to do her duties, I felt a real sense of loss. I thought about how just last year she had been organizing materials for clearing people out. It had barely been any time since then, and now she was being expelled? Could there have been a mistake? But then I thought about how the church has principles for clearing out people, and that they wouldn’t be preparing materials for her expulsion without reason. My heart kept turning over and I couldn’t focus on the gathering. The leader asked me to write an evaluation of Chen Xia, and I agreed in a perfunctory way without expressing my true thoughts.

When I got home and thought about Chen Xia, I felt uneasy. I thought, “Chen Xia is so dedicated, and she’s sacrificed her family and career to do her duties. She’s put in so much effort into God’s words, but now she’s being expelled. I haven’t suffered or expended myself as much as she has, nor have I done as much in my duties, and I certainly haven’t put in as much effort into God’s words. Does this mean I might end up being eliminated and even expelled as well?” These thoughts dampened my motivation in my duties. When I saw the sisters discussing work, I didn’t want to participate. I felt it was pointless to put in much effort or pay a price, as in the end, who knows what outcome I’d end up with? Thus, during that period of time, I lost my sense of burden in my duties.

Later, I realized my state was wrong, so I prayed and sought God regarding it. I read God’s words: “There are many thoughts, ideas, and states within people which often influence some of their opinions, perspectives, and standpoints. If you can solve these thoughts, ideas, and states one by one through seeking the truth, then they will not affect your relationship with God. You might have a small stature now, with a shallow understanding of the truth, and because you’ve only believed in God for a short while or because of various other factors, you don’t understand very many truths—but you should grasp one principle: I should submit to everything God does, regardless of whether it looks good or bad from the outside, right or wrong, and whether or not it aligns with human notions. I have no right to criticize, assess, analyze, or study if it’s right or wrong. What I should do is fulfill my duty as a created being and then practice the truths which I can understand, to satisfy God and not deviate from the true way” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know God’s Sovereignty). “In real life, you first have to think of which truths relate to the people, events, and things you have encountered; it is among these truths that you can find God’s intentions and connect what you have encountered with His intentions. If you do not know which aspects of the truth relate to the things you have encountered but instead go directly to seek God’s intentions, this is a blind approach which cannot achieve results. If you want to seek the truth and understand God’s intentions, first you need to look at what kind of things have happened to you, which aspects of the truth they are related to, and look for the specific truth in the word of God that relates to what you have experienced. Then you look for the path of practice that is right for you in that truth; in this way you can gain an indirect understanding of God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself III). From God’s words, I understood that when encountering things that don’t align with my notions, I have to maintain a heart that fears God, and submit first and not complain against God, and that I need to see which aspect of the truth principles this matter relates to, and seek the truth from it to understand God’s intentions. I started to reflect on myself. When I heard about Chen Xia being expelled, I didn’t seek the truth at all. I thought that since she’d sacrificed her family and career to do her duties and put so much effort into God’s words, and even served as a leader and worker, she was a person who pursued the truth, and so I felt wronged on her behalf, and I harbored complaints and misunderstandings toward God, and lost interest in my duties. I realized that I didn’t have a heart that fears God at all, and that when faced with matters that didn’t align with my notions, I resisted and complained, and didn’t seek the truth at all. My state was so dangerous! Later, I heard that while cooperating on the task of organizing materials for clearing people out, she’d often bribe the brothers and sisters with small favors to compete against the team leader for status, and that she also sowed discord to make the brothers and sisters form negative views about the team leader. She’d often say in front of everyone that the team leader lacked life entry, couldn’t discern people, and didn’t have the work of the Holy Spirit, saying these things to undermine the team leader. She frequently exaggerated the brothers’ and sisters’ revelations of corruption to criticize them which dampened everyone’s enthusiasm for their duties. The leaders and the brothers and sisters fellowshipped with her multiple times to help, but she didn’t know herself at all and insisted on defending her actions. After hearing about her behaviors, I realized that Chen Xia had issues, and I recalled her behavior from when I was cooperating with her. During the church elections in 2012, both Chen Xia and Sister Wang Hui were elected as leaders. Although Wang Hui had a slightly poorer caliber, she had a sense of burden for her duties and was able to resolve some issues. However, Chen Xia always wanted to get another sister elected because that sister listened to her more. To achieve this goal, Chen Xia seized on Wang Hui’s shortcomings and made a big deal out of them, belittling Wang Hui in front of the brothers and sisters by saying she was unfit to be a leader because of her poor caliber. She even told Wang Hui to resign due to her lack of caliber to her face. When Chen Xia saw that Wang Hui hadn’t resigned, she began to stir up trouble in front of the brothers and sisters, saying that Wang Hui was too attached to her position, and that she was reluctant to give it up even in spite of her lack of caliber. Some brothers and sisters were misled by Chen Xia and sided with her, claiming Wang Hui was unfit for leadership and calling for another election. This created chaos in the church, and Wang Hui was left in a negative state. Also, during Chen Xia’s time as a leader in 2013, a brother noticed that the leadership acted against the principles while doing their duties and made a suggestion, but when Chen Xia learned of this, she told her partnered sister that they should keep an eye on him and record everything he said, as this would serve as evidence when organizing materials to clear him out later. Chen Xia even condemned this brother for judging the leadership and disturbing the church’s work. The brothers and sisters were afraid to offer suggestions to the leaders after hearing this, as they were afraid that they might be condemned and expelled. Later, Chen Xia was dismissed because she competed for fame and gain, and carried out work without consulting her co-workers, frequently dismissing her co-workers’ suggestions and acting under her own authority, which had harmed the church’s work.

Comparing the many behaviors of Chen Xia, I kept seeking in the words of God. I read God’s words: “How do antichrists exclude and attack those who pursue the truth? They often use methods that others see as reasonable and proper, even using debates about the truth to gain leverage, in order to attack, condemn, and mislead other people. For example, an antichrist thinks that if their partners are people who pursue the truth, they can threaten their status, and thus the antichrist will deliver lofty sermons and discuss spiritual theories to mislead people and make people think highly of them. That way they can belittle and suppress their partners and co-workers, and make people feel that although the partners of their leader are people who pursue the truth, they are not their leader’s equal in terms of caliber and ability. Some people even say, ‘Our leader’s sermons are lofty, and no one can compare.’ For an antichrist, hearing that kind of comment is extremely satisfying. They think to themselves, ‘You’re my partner, don’t you have some truth realities? Why can’t you speak with the eloquence and elevation that I do? You are thoroughly humiliated now. You lack the ability, yet you dare contend with me!’ That is what the antichrist is thinking. What is the antichrist’s goal? They’re trying every means possible to suppress, belittle, and put themselves above other people. … Those whom an antichrist hates most in the church are people who pursue the truth, especially those with a sense of justice who would dare expose and report a false leader and antichrist. An antichrist views such people as needles in their eyes, as thorns in their side. If they happen to see someone who pursues the truth and willingly performs their duty, spitefulness and enmity arise in their heart, without the least measure of love. An antichrist won’t just not help or support people who pursue the truth, regardless of their difficulties or of how weak and negative they may be—they won’t just brush it aside. Instead, they’ll secretly be happy about it. And if someone had made accusations against them or exposed them, they’ll take the opportunity to kick them when they’re down, charging them with all manner of offenses to teach them a lesson, to condemn them, to leave them with no way forward, and ultimately, to make them so negative that they can’t perform their duty. The antichrist gets proud of themselves then and begins to exult in that person’s misfortune. This sort of thing is what antichrists are best at; excluding, attacking, and condemning those who pursue the truth is their greatest expertise. … In summary, based on these manifestations of antichrists, we may determine that they are not performing the duty of leadership, because they are not leading people in eating and drinking God’s words or fellowshipping about the truth, and they are not watering or sustaining people, allowing them to obtain the truth. Instead, they disrupt and disturb church life, dismantle and destroy the work of the church, and impede people on the path of pursuing the truth and obtaining salvation. They want to lead God’s chosen people astray and cause them to lose the chance to be granted salvation. This is the ultimate goal that antichrists want to achieve by disrupting and disturbing the work of the church” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Three: They Exclude and Attack Those Who Pursue the Truth). God exposes that antichrists seek to rule in the church, using doctrines and words to mislead those who lack discernment, and that they will stop at nothing to attack and exclude those who pursue the truth. They even hate those who offer them suggestions. They treat these people as obstacles, seizing upon their shortcomings and revelations of corruption and exaggerating these things, intentionally belittling and judging them and labeling them unfairly. This causes these brothers and sisters to become marginalized and suppressed, until they ultimately become so negative that they can’t do their duties. In this, the antichrists’ goals are achieved, allowing them to wield power in the church as they please. Chen Xia was behaving just like this. She sought to rule in the church, deliberately seizing on Wang Hui’s shortcomings to belittle, judge, and attack her, in an attempt to make her resign in shame, misleading the brothers and sisters to side with her against Wang Hui in her attempts to do so. When Chen Xia served as a church leader, if anyone made suggestions that affected her position, she would find ways to torment them, labeling them with unfair accusations in her attempts to clear them out. After being reassigned to her new duty, in order to replace the team leader, she often seized on the team leader’s revelations of corruption to belittle, judge, and attack her, misleading people to take her side to isolate the team leader. This severely disturbed the work. Seeing Chen Xia’s ruthless ambition for status, I saw just how insidious, cunning, and malicious her words and actions really were. The leaders dissected the essence of her actions and the consequences they had brought about, yet she had refused to accept this and just kept arguing back and justifying herself. This wasn’t just a personal dispute; rather, in this she was doing evil and resisting God, and was opposing God to the very end! I realized that Chen Xia’s problems were serious, and that she was an antichrist who had disturbed the church’s work. Realizing this, I felt very distressed. I saw just how foolish and blind I’d been, and how I’d been so muddle-headed and lacking in discernment, I’d actually stood up for this antichrist, and my living in a state of negativity and misunderstanding had delayed my duties. I prayed to God for repentance and reported Chen Xia’s evil deeds to the church. In the end, based on the principles, everyone determined that Chen Xia was an antichrist, and expelled her from the church.

Later, I often reflected on this matter, wondering, “I’ve interacted with Chen Xia for so many years, so how could I have been completely lacking in discernment about her? I even thought she was a person who pursued the truth and I held her in high regard and worshiped her.” In my seeking, I read two passages of God’s words from which I found the reason behind this. Almighty God says: “Some people are able to bear hardships, can pay the price, are outwardly very well-behaved, are quite well-respected, and enjoy the admiration of others. Would you say that this kind of outward behavior can be regarded as putting the truth into practice? Could one determine that such people are satisfying God’s intentions? Why is it that time and time again people see such individuals and think that they are satisfying God, walking the path of putting the truth into practice, and following God’s way? Why do some people think this way? There is only one explanation for it. What explanation is that? It is that for a great many people, certain questions—such as what it means to put the truth into practice, what it means to satisfy God, and what it means to genuinely possess the truth reality—are not very clear. Thus, there are some people who are often misled by those who outwardly seem spiritual, noble, lofty, and great. As for people who can speak eloquently of words and doctrines, and whose speech and actions seem worthy of admiration, those who are deceived by them have never looked at the essence of their actions, the principles behind their deeds, or what their goals are. Moreover, they have never looked at whether these people truly submit to God, nor have they ever determined whether or not these people genuinely fear God and shun evil. They have never discerned the humanity essence of these people. Rather, beginning with the first step of getting acquainted with them, they have, little by little, come to admire and venerate these people, and in the end, these people become their idols. Furthermore, in some people’s minds, the idols whom they worship—and who they believe can abandon their families and jobs, and who seem superficially able to pay the price—are the ones who are truly satisfying God and who can really attain good outcomes and good destinations. In their minds, these idols are the ones whom God praises” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. How to Know God’s Disposition and the Results His Work Shall Achieve). “What is the difference between the effort antichrists put into God’s words and the effort of those who pursue the truth? (The intention and purpose are different. Antichrists put effort into God’s words for their own benefit and status, to satisfy their personal ambitions.) What effort do antichrists put into God’s words? They memorize parts of God’s words that accord with their notions, learn to explain God’s words using human language, and write some spiritual notes and insights. They also distill, summarize, and organize God’s various statements, such as those people believe are relatively aligned with human notions, those that are easily perceived as having God’s speaking tone, some words about mysteries, and some of God’s words that are popular and often preached in the church for a time. Besides memorizing, organizing, summarizing, and writing insights, of course, there are more, including some peculiar activities. Antichrists will pay any price to gain status, satisfy their ambition, and achieve their goal of controlling the church and being god. They often work late into the night and wake at the crack of dawn, burning the midnight oil and rehearsing their sermons in the wee hours, and they also note down the brilliant things others have said, all in order to equip themselves with the doctrine they need to give lofty sermons. They ponder every day about how to deliver these lofty sermons, contemplating which of God’s words will be the most useful to choose, and will inspire admiration and praise among God’s chosen people, and then they learn those words by heart. Then, they consider how to interpret those words in a way that demonstrates their sagacity and brilliance. In order to really impress God’s word upon their hearts, they strive to listen to His word several times more. They do all this with the efforts like those of students vying for a spot in college. When someone gives a good sermon, or one that provides some illumination, or one that provides some theory, an antichrist will collect and compile it and make it into their own sermon. No amount of effort is too great for an antichrist. What, then, is the motive and intention behind this effort of theirs? It is to be able to preach God’s words, to say them clearly and with ease, to have fluent command of them, so that others may see the antichrist is more spiritual than them, more treasuring of God’s words, more loving of God. In this way, an antichrist can gain the admiration and worship of some of the people around them. An antichrist feels this is a worthwhile thing to do and worth any effort, price, or hardship” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Seven)). After reading God’s words, I realized that I’d regarded Chen Xia highly and thought she pursued the truth because I held an erroneous viewpoint. I viewed those who made sacrifices, expended themselves, and worked hard, and those who put in a lot of effort into reading God’s words, as people who had realities and who truly pursued the truth. Now I understood that merely doing one’s duties, making sacrifices, expending oneself, suffering, and paying a price are just good behaviors, and that they don’t mean that a person truly pursues or practices the truth. I also realized that putting in a lot of effort in reading God’s words doesn’t necessarily mean that a person cherishes God’s words or loves the truth. This should be assessed based on a person’s intentions in their actions, whether they practice God’s words, and whether their life disposition has changed. After finding God, Chen Xia did her duties in the church and was able to endure hardships, but her sacrifices and expenditures weren’t to practice the truth to satisfy God, rather, she pursued reputation and status to gain the admiration and worship of others. In the bitter winter, Chen Xia would get up before dawn to read God’s words, sometimes even staying up late to read, copy, and memorize God’s words. She put so much effort into God’s words, but her underlying motivation was still for the sake of her position. She used God’s words as a tool to gain reputation and status, using opportunities to share God’s words to garner the admiration and worship of the brothers and sisters. She read so many of God’s words, but she showed no signs of practicing them or addressing her corrupt disposition. Instead, she always pursued reputation and status, often taking a high-handed approach to lecture and constrain others. When others pointed out her issues, she wouldn’t accept what they’d say and would try to suppress and torment them. It was apparent that she didn’t read God’s words to practice the truth, otherwise, how could she have read so many of God’s words without any change in her disposition? Instead, she became increasingly arrogant and her pursuit of reputation and status grew more intense. This fully revealed Chen Xia’s essence of aversion to and hatred of the truth. Those who truly love the truth cherish and practice God’s words. Just like Peter, he frequently pondered God’s words and integrated them into his real life, and he was able to strictly practice and enter in accordance with God’s words in the things he encountered, and ultimately, his life disposition changed. From this, I saw that to assess whether someone is a person who pursues the truth, we can’t just look at their outward sacrifices and expenditures, how much of God’s words they’ve read, or whether they’re able to fellowship with others, and that we should mainly focus on whether they can practice God’s words in the situations they face, focus on seeking the truth, reflecting on and knowing themselves, and whether they have any life entry. I only saw Chen Xia’s apparent ability to make sacrifices, expend herself, and put in effort in reading God’s words, and so I worshiped her, even idolizing her in my heart. When I heard about her expulsion from the church, I wanted to speak up for her. I saw that I didn’t understand the truth and had failed to assess people according to God’s words. I had been so foolish!

I also asked myself, “Why was it, that upon hearing that Chen Xia was to be expelled, I felt so negative and weak, and even stopped wanting to do my duties?” Later, I read God’s words: “Once people’s notions and imaginings become the principles and criteria by which they view people and things and comport themselves and act, then no matter how they believe in God, or how they pursue, and no matter how much hardship they suffer and how much of a price they pay, it will all be futile. As long as someone lives by their notions and imaginings, then this person is resisting God and is hostile to Him; they do not have true submission to the environments arranged by God or to His requirements, and ultimately their outcome will be a very tragic one. If you have believed in God for many years, and have expended yourself for Him, running all about and paying a great price, but the starting point and root cause of everything you do is your own notions and imaginings, then you do not truly accept and submit to God. … It’s just like what was manifested by Paul; he did a lot of work and a lot of running around, preaching the gospel throughout the greater part of Europe, but no matter how much hardship he suffered and how much of a price he paid, or however much running around he did, he never had thoughts and views that accorded with the truth, he never accepted the truth, and he never had the attitude and real experience of submission to God—he always lived within his own notions and imaginings. What was his specific notion and imagining? It was that when he had finished running the course and fighting the good fight, there was a crown of righteousness in store for him—this was Paul’s notion and imagining. What was the specific theoretical basis of his notion and imagining? That God would determine a person’s outcome based on the amount of running about they have done, the price they have paid, and how much hardship they have suffered. It was on just such a theoretical basis of his notion and imagining that Paul unknowingly embarked upon the path of antichrists. As a result, when he had reached the end of the road, he had no understanding whatsoever about his behavior and manifestations of resisting God or his essence of resisting God, much less any repentance. He still held on to his original notion and imagining while believing in God, and not only did he not have the slightest true submission to God, but on the contrary, he believed that he was even more entitled to receive a good outcome and destination from God in exchange. ‘In exchange’ is a nice-sounding, civilized way of putting it, but in fact it was not an exchange, or even a transaction—he was directly asking God for these things, downright demanding them from God. How did he demand them from God? Just like he said, ‘I have finished my course, I have fought the good fight—the crown of glory is now mine. This is what I deserve and what God should rightfully give me.’ The path Paul took was a path of resistance to God, which led him to destruction, and the ultimate outcome that befell him was being punished. This was inseparable from his notion and imagining about God” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth II. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). I felt negative when I heard that the church had expelled Chen Xia, because I held a fallacious viewpoint. I thought that those who expend themselves and sacrifice a lot and work hard, are to receive a good outcome and destination from God. So when I saw that even though Chen Xia had made sacrifices and suffered, and even after many years of doing her duty, she was still ultimately expelled by the church, I just couldn’t understand it. I also thought about how I hadn’t sacrificed as much as her, and that I hadn’t done as many duties as she had, so I felt that sooner or later I would be eliminated too, and I became so negative that I no longer wanted to pay a price or expend myself. I realized that after all these years of believing in God, I was still living in human notions and imaginings. God determines a person’s outcome not based on how long they have believed, how much doctrine they can preach, how much work they have done, how much they have suffered, or how much of God’s word they have memorized, but rather on whether they pursue the truth, on whether their corrupt disposition has changed, and on whether their intention in their duties and suffering is to satisfy God. If one doesn’t practice God’s words at all and only does their duties to try and bargain with God, then even if such a person can make sacrifices, expend themselves, and work hard, in the end, if their life disposition doesn’t change at all, and they openly resist God, they will offend God’s disposition. Just like Paul, he paid a great price and expended himself so much, but he didn’t do it to gain the truth or to achieve a change in his disposition, but rather to gain blessings and a crown. Therefore, even after many years of work, his arrogant, conceited, and profit-seeking nature didn’t change at all, and in the end, he even used his hard work as capital to demand a righteous crown from God, openly railing against Him. This offended God’s disposition and led to Paul’s punishment. I too wanted to exchange my suffering and expenditure for a good destination, and when I saw that I had no hope of blessings, I didn’t even want to do my duties. Weren’t my views on pursuit the same as Paul’s? It is perfectly justified and natural for created beings to do their duties. I didn’t stand in my position as a created being to do my duties earnestly. Instead, I wanted to use my suffering and expenditure in my duties to obtain a good outcome and destination, and when I felt I couldn’t get these things, I thought God was unrighteous. In this, I was resisting God and offending His disposition. This problem was too serious in nature. If I didn’t change my viewpoint, I would also be eliminated by God! Understanding this made me feel deeply regretful and guilty, and I wanted to repent to God.

Later, I read God’s words: “As a created being, man should seek to fulfill the duty of a created being, and seek to love God without making other choices, for God is worthy of man’s love. Those who seek to love God should not seek any personal benefits or seek that which they personally long for; this is the most correct means of pursuit. If what you seek is the truth, if what you put into practice is the truth, and if what you attain is a change in your disposition, then the path that you tread is the right one. If what you seek is the blessings of the flesh, and what you put into practice is the truth of your own notions, and if there is no change in your disposition, and you are not at all submissive to God in the flesh, and you still live in vagueness, then what you seek will surely take you to hell, for the path that you walk is the path of failure. Whether you will be made perfect or eliminated depends on your own pursuit, which is also to say that success or failure depends on the path that man walks” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). I thought back to when I believed in God just to seek blessings. In simple terms, I was pursuing personal gain and a good destination, and in the end, I wouldn’t gain any truth, and my disposition wouldn’t change, so I would still be eliminated by God. Now I see that the path I was pursuing before was wrong, and that the correct path in believing in God is to seek to love God, to do the duties of a created being, to pursue the truth in my duties, and to cast off my corrupt disposition. This is valuable and meaningful. This is just like the path Peter took. He focused on putting God’s words into practice in all things, and he accepted God’s judgment and chastisement, gained an understanding of his corrupt disposition, and in the end, he lived out the reality of loving God. Reflecting on this, I understood that whether or not one ultimately receives blessings shouldn’t be the goal of believing in God, and that understanding the truth and casting off one’s corruption in one’s duties is the most meaningful and is the correct path. This experience has made me realize that it is extremely important to view people and matters based on the truth principles!