By Nanyi, China

In April 2023, I unintentionally saw the leader’s evaluation of me, saying that I was a people pleaser, and that I lacked a sense of justice. It mentioned that I had seen quite a few co-workers living in corrupt dispositions which affected their work, but that I had not fellowshipped or pointed it out; it stated that I was not protecting the interests of the church, and that my humanity was not so good. Seeing the leader’s evaluation, I felt somewhat aggrieved. “I’ve always gotten along harmoniously with my partners,” I thought, “and haven’t done anything to torment and suppress anyone. Sometimes I did fellowship and point out the problems I observed in my co-workers. Although my humanity wasn’t perfect, surely it was at least average. They lived in corrupt dispositions and failed to recognize themselves because they didn’t strive for the truth; how was that my responsibility? How can the leader say I have poor humanity?” It’s hard to describe how deeply hurt I felt; it was like spilling a jar of mixed flavors; I couldn’t tell what kind of feeling it was. Despite my many years of faith in God, the leader had evaluated my consistent performance as that of a people pleaser who didn’t protect the interests of God’s house and had poor humanity. That being the case, could my disposition still be changed? During those days, whenever I thought of the leader’s words, it was like a knife piercing my heart. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, and I lost the motivation to do anything. But I realized that there were still many issues in my work; wouldn’t retreating into negativity at this point reveal my lack of humanity all the more? So, I forced myself to do my duty and prayed to God, resolving to first submit to the situations like this which I faced and to reflect on myself to learn lessons from them.

Later, I pondered on why others said I was a people pleaser who didn’t protect the interests of God’s house. My thoughts returned to the scenes from a few years ago when I interacted with several co-workers. In 2019, I was partnered with Xiaozhen, responsible for the text-based work. During that time, Xiaozhen lived in a defensive state, feeling that her arrogant disposition was serious, and that if she continued to disrupt and disturb the work based on her corrupt disposition, there would be no good outcome and destination for her. As a result, she was very passive in doing her duty and rarely participated in our discussions. I knew Xiaozhen was in a state of defense and misunderstanding. She actually had some working abilities and could perform some work if her state was normal. I wanted to point out her issues. But I thought, since she just started to practice, would pointing out her issues make me seem inconsiderate and demanding? If she had negative thoughts about me, how would we get along in the future? So, I just gave her a simple exhortation, “Let’s not always live in our corrupt dispositions; we should actively and proactively learn about our professional skills and strive for improvement.” Later, seeing that her state hadn’t improved much, I thought, “I’ve reminded you, but if you don’t enter, there’s nothing I can do.” So, I didn’t fellowship further. Eventually, Xiaozhen’s state didn’t improve, and she was dismissed due to ineffectiveness in her duty. There was another sister, Lin Lin, who, seeing that her new partner, Brother Yang Zhi, was more skilled in the profession and grasped some principles, felt inferior and became less proactive in her duty. During a fellowship, she opened up about her state and even cried. Seeing that she cared too much about reputation and status, I originally wanted to dissect the nature and consequences of pursuing these things for her, but I thought she was already very distressed, and pointing out her problems directly might embarrass her and make her think I was unsympathetic. How would we get along in the future? So, I lightly said, “Don’t always dwell on reputation and status; try to learn from others’ merits when collaborating.” Later, Lin Lin still didn’t gain much understanding of the nature and consequences of pursuing reputation and status. Her state was sometimes good and sometimes bad. She was very passive in her duty and was eventually dismissed as well.

Recalling all the various moments of cooperating and associating with several sisters and reflecting on myself according to God’s words, I gained some understanding of my own state. I read a passage of God’s words: “Most people wish to pursue and practice the truth, but much of the time they merely have a resolution and the desire to do so; the truth has not become their life. As a result, when they come across evil forces or encounter evil people and bad people committing evil deeds, or false leaders and antichrists doing things in a way that violates principles—thus disturbing the work of the church and harming God’s chosen ones—they lose the courage to stand up and speak out. What does it mean when you have no courage? Does it mean that you are timid or inarticulate? Or is it that you do not understand thoroughly, and therefore do not have the confidence to speak up? Neither; this is primarily the consequence of being constrained by corrupt dispositions. One of the corrupt dispositions you reveal is a deceitful disposition; when something happens to you, the first thing you think of is your own interests, the first thing you consider is the consequences, whether this will be beneficial to you. This is a deceitful disposition, is it not? Another is a selfish and base disposition. You think, ‘What does a loss to the interests of God’s house have to do with me? I’m not a leader, so why should I care? It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not my responsibility.’ Such thoughts and words are not something that you consciously think, but are produced by your subconscious—which is the corrupt disposition revealed when people encounter an issue. Corrupt dispositions such as this govern the way you think, they bind your hands and feet, and control what you say. In your heart, you want to stand up and speak, but you have misgivings, and even when you do speak out, you beat around the bush, and leave yourself wiggle room, or else you prevaricate and don’t tell the truth. People who are clear-eyed can see this; in truth, you know in your heart that you have not said all you should, that what you have said has had no effect, that you were merely going through the motions, and that the problem has not been solved. You have not fulfilled your responsibility, yet you say overtly that you have fulfilled your responsibility, or that what was happening was unclear to you. Is this true? And is it what you really think? Are you not then completely under the control of your satanic disposition?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Reflecting on God’s words, I felt that God truly scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts and had exposed my innermost intentions. I recalled that when collaborating with a few co-workers, I hadn’t truly pointed out their problems. Sometimes, even when fellowshipping, I had only offered some simple exhortations or made light of their issues. I hadn’t dared to pinpoint that their problems were actually due to living in deceitful dispositions, for fear that doing so would ruin our relationship and make it difficult for us to get along in future. For example, when I had been partnered with Xiaozhen and Lin Lin, I had seen that Xiaozhen was always concerned about her own prospects and destiny, and couldn’t devote herself to her duty, while Lin Lin was preoccupied with her reputation and status, and had no inclination to do her duty. I’d noticed these issues they had, but considering that we spent every day together, from morning until night, and saw each other all the time, wouldn’t pointing out their problems have made them think I was callous, overly harsh, and unsympathetic to their difficulties, causing them to develop a prejudice against me? Fearing that it might be difficult to get along with them in future, I hadn’t highlighted the nature and consequences of their problems. In fact, it’s normal to have one’s problems pointed out by others. Those who truly accept the truth will reflect on themselves in the light of such corrections, recognize their issues, and be able to feel remorse and turn themselves around—this is of genuine help to them. But I had been living in a deceitful disposition, and when I had noticed issues in their duties that affected the work of the church, all I had done was to briefly mention it. When they had eventually been dismissed, I had even thought with a clear conscience that it was caused by their own lack of pursuing and striving for the truth, and I hadn’t reflected on my own problems at all—I really had been too selfish and deceitful!

Afterward, I continued to reflect on myself. Why did I always speak softly about the problems I saw in my co-workers and couldn’t directly expose their issues? I read another passage of God’s words: “There is a tenet in philosophies for worldly dealings that says, ‘Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship.’ It means that in order to preserve a friendly relationship, one must keep silent about their friend’s problems, even if they see them clearly—that they should abide by the principles of not striking people in the face or calling out their shortcomings. They are to deceive each other, hide from each other, engage in intrigue with each other; and though they know with crystal clarity what sort of person the other is, they do not say it outright, but employ cunning methods to preserve their friendly relationship. Why would one want to preserve such relationships? It is about not wanting to make enemies in this society, within one’s group, which would mean subjecting oneself often to dangerous situations. Knowing someone will become your enemy and harm you after you have called out their shortcomings or hurt them, and not wishing to put yourself in such a situation, you employ the tenet of philosophies for worldly dealings that runs, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.’ In light of this, if two people are in such a relationship, do they count as true friends? (No.) They are not true friends, much less each other’s confidant. So, what sort of relationship is this, exactly? Is it not a fundamental social relationship? (It is.) In such social relationships, people cannot offer their feelings, nor have deep exchanges, nor speak about whatever they wish. They cannot say out loud what is in their heart, or the problems they see in the other, or words that would benefit the other. Instead, they pick nice things to say, to keep the other’s favor. They dare not speak the truth or uphold the principles, lest it give rise to animosity toward them in others. When no one is threatening to someone, does that person not live in relative ease and peace? Is this not people’s goal in promoting the saying, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’? (It is.) Clearly, this is a cunning, deceptive way of existence with an element of defensiveness, whose goal is self-preservation. People who live like this have no confidants, no close friends with whom they can say whatever they like. They are defensive with each other, and calculating, and strategic, each taking what they need from the relationship. Is this not so? At its root, the goal of ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ is to keep from offending others and making enemies, to protect oneself by not causing hurt to anyone. It is a technique and method one adopts to keep themselves from being hurt” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (8)). God’s words made me see clearly that my partnership and interactions with others were bound by Satan’s philosophy for worldly dealings “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” and “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.” I had believed that when interacting with others, I must learn to protect myself; I had also believed that exposing others’ problems was offensive to them and could easily cause them to develop a bias against me, making enemies with them and putting me in an awkward position. Consequently, I hadn’t dared to expose others’ issues. Thinking back, I realized that I had been living by these philosophies for worldly dealings since my childhood, never directly pointing out the problems I saw in others, for fear of offending them. I would appear superficially to be on good terms with people, maintaining relationships among people. Interacting with others this way didn’t offend anyone on the surface, but it prevented genuine communications with others and created a kind of constant barrier between us. As a result, I had no true confidants. In the church, I had continued living by these philosophies. When cooperating with Xiaozhen and Lin Lin, I had seen that they were living in corrupt dispositions and lacking a burden in their duties. I had worried that pointing out their problems would hurt their feelings and make me seem unsympathetic, so I had kept silent about my insights, letting them live in their corrupt dispositions and delay their duties, eventually leading to their dismissals. I used to regard these philosophies for worldly dealings like “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” and “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings,” as positive things, thinking that by doing so, I could protect myself from making enemies with others, and that it was a smart move. Only now did I realize that by living according to these philosophies for worldly dealings, although I might have appeared not to offend anyone and kept on good terms with my co-workers, I had become extremely selfish and deceitful, and my collaborations and interactions with others had become particularly cold and brought no benefits to their life entry, besides also causing damage to the church’s work. Seeing that living by these philosophies for worldly dealings not only harms others and myself, but above all damages the church’s work, I realized that this is truly not a good path to take.

Later on, I continued to reflect and realized that there was another wrong perspective inside me when I tried to be a people pleaser. I thought that some co-workers’ dismissals were due to their own lack of pursuing the truth and had nothing to do with me, so I didn’t feel self-blamed when they were dismissed. Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “What is cooperation? You have to be able to discuss things with each other, and express your views and opinions; you must complement and supervise each other, and seek from each other, make inquiries of each other, and prompt each other. That’s what it is to cooperate in harmony. Say, for instance, you handled something according to your own will, and someone said, ‘You did it wrong, entirely against the principles. Why did you handle it however you wanted, without seeking the truth?’ To this, you say, ‘That’s right—I’m glad you alerted me! If you hadn’t, it would have spelled disaster!’ That’s what prompting each other is. What is it, then, to supervise each other? Everyone has a corrupt disposition, and may be perfunctory in doing their duty, safeguarding only their own status and pride, not the interests of God’s house. Such states are there in every person. If you learn that someone has a problem, you should take the initiative to fellowship with them, reminding them to do their duty according to the principles, while letting it stand as a warning to yourself. That’s mutual supervision. What function does mutual supervision serve? It’s meant to safeguard the interests of God’s house, and also to keep people from taking the wrong road” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God’s words made me understand that the church arranges for several people to work together to complement each other’s merits and shortcomings, and to remind and supervise one another. Especially when seeing someone living in a wrong state that affects the work, we should remind, help, or even prune them to prevent them from walking the wrong path, which could cause losses to the work of the church. Doing this is also to protect the church’s interests and is our responsibility. When I had been partnered with a few sisters and seen them living in corrupt dispositions that affected their work, I should have stepped up to offer them fellowship and help and, if necessary, I should have exposed and pruned them. If they were people who accept the truth, then through this fellowshipping and exposure, they could have recognized their own problems, turned themselves around in time, and stopped short of suffering a loss in their life. After turning their state around, they could also have done their duties better. If they didn’t accept the truth, my conscience would have been clear because I had fulfilled my responsibility by engaging in fellowship and helping them. Later, I learned that after being dismissed, Xiaozhen and Lin Lin had reflected and come to recognize their problems and had later resumed doing duties. This showed that they were not people who didn’t accept the truth, but had just been living in a corrupt state and walking the wrong path for a period of time. But I had just stood by and watched them being bound by corrupt dispositions, affecting the church’s work without offering them fellowship and help. I had been truly irresponsible!

I used to think that I could get along well with others and hadn’t done anything obvious to suppress or torment people, so I believed my humanity was relatively good. But after comparing myself with God’s words, I began to gain some understanding of myself. I read more of God’s words: “There must be a standard for having good humanity. It does not involve taking the path of moderation, not sticking to principles, endeavoring not to offend anyone, currying favor everywhere you go, being smooth and slick with everyone you meet, and making everyone speak well of you. This is not the standard. So, what is the standard? It is being able to submit to God and the truth. It is approaching one’s duty and all manner of people, events, and things with principles and a sense of responsibility. This is plain for all to see; everyone is clear about this in their heart. Moreover, God scrutinizes people’s hearts and knows their situation, each and every one; no matter who they are, no one can fool God. Some people always boast that they possess good humanity, that they never speak ill of others, never harm anyone else’s interests, and they claim never to have coveted other people’s property. When there is a dispute over interests, they even prefer to suffer loss than take advantage of others, and everyone else thinks they are good people. However, when performing their duties in God’s house, they are wily and slippery, always scheming for themselves. Never do they think of the interests of God’s house, never do they treat as urgent the things God treats as urgent or think as God thinks, and never can they set aside their own interests so as to perform their duties. They never forsake their own interests. Even when they see evil people committing evil, they do not expose them; they have no principles whatsoever. What kind of humanity is this? It is not good humanity” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). From God’s words, I realized that a person with truly good humanity has a sincere heart for God, is loving toward brothers and sisters, collaborates with others according to principles, takes a stand and when seeing someone disrupting or affecting the church work, they could stand up to expose it and protect the interests of God’s house. However, in order to maintain relationships with people, I saw others living in corrupt dispositions and taking the wrong path, but I did not fellowship with them to help, which caused some losses to the work. Only now did I see clearly that my humanity was indeed not good, and I genuinely accepted the leader’s evaluation of me from my heart.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words, which provided a path of practice to solve the issue of being a people pleaser. God says: “If you have the motivations and perspective of a people pleaser, then, in all matters, you will be incapable of practicing the truth and abiding by principle, and you will always fail and fall down. If you do not awaken and do not ever seek the truth, then you are a disbeliever, and you will never gain the truth and life. What, then, should you do? When faced with such things, you must pray to God and call out to Him, begging for salvation and asking that He give you more faith and strength and enable you to abide by the principles, do what you should do, handle things according to the principles, stand firm in the position you should stand in, protect the interests of God’s house, and prevent any harm from coming to the work of God’s house. If you are able to rebel against your self-interests, your pride, and your standpoint of a people pleaser, and if you do what you should do with an honest, undivided heart, then you will have defeated Satan and gained this aspect of the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I understood that whenever I have the mindset and intention to be a people pleaser, I should pray to God more, asking Him to give me the strength to rebel against myself. Instead of maintaining relationships with others, I should practice the truth, abide by the principles, and be someone who upholds the work of the church. In this way, I can gradually enter into the truth reality of this aspect.

Later, I was assigned to supervise the work in another church. A few days after I arrived, I noticed that the brothers and sisters I was cooperating with were very busy with various work every day, and sometimes they were so busy that they didn’t have fellowships. Their church life was not normal. I thought to myself, “The primary responsibility of being a leader and a worker is to ensure a good church life, leading brothers and sisters to eat and drink and understand God’s words to enter the truth reality. But if everyone is busy with work every day and doesn’t focus on their own life entry, how could they lead brothers and sisters to live a good church life?” I really wanted to point out this problem to everyone, but I hesitated, “I’ve just got here and if I point out the issue now, it might seem like I’m trying to show how diligently I pursue the truth. Moreover, there is a lot of work to handle every day, which is a real issue. If I bring it up now, would they think I am inconsiderate and only pick faults, thus having a bad impression of me? That would make our future cooperation and interaction really awkward!” When I thought this way, I couldn’t open my mouth, but not speaking up also made me feel self-blamed. I felt that although we were busy every day, with proper planning, we could still find time to have gatherings. Moreover, as leaders and workers, if we don’t pay attention to living the church life and don’t strive for the truth, it is easy to go astray. I couldn’t continue to maintain relationships with others as I used to, failing to point out the problems I discovered. That would harm others and myself, and also delay the church work. Then I thought of God’s words: “If you are able to rebel against your self-interests, your pride, and your standpoint of a people pleaser, and if you do what you should do with an honest, undivided heart, then you will have defeated Satan and gained this aspect of the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Thinking of this, I pointed out the problems I noticed in front of everyone and fellowshipped on the consequences of not focusing on living the church life. Several co-workers also mentioned that they hadn’t been paying attention to living the church life recently. Although they were busy every day, they felt empty inside and couldn’t see through their own states or the issues in their work. They were willing to turn this around. After that, we planned our time reasonably, met regularly for fellowship, reflected on our own states in light of God’s words, and promptly fellowshipped and summarized any issues or deviations in our work. By practicing this way, everyone gained some benefits. Not only did we gain discernment of our own corrupt dispositions and fallacious views on things, but we also saw more clearly about the problems and deviations in our work.

After going through this experience, I have gained a correct understanding about the meaning of good humanity. It is not merely appearing not to fight, argue, suppress, or torment others that makes good humanity. True good humanity involves being able to point out and fellowship about the problems one sees in others, helping people in doing their duties and in their life entry, taking a stand against things they see that are not in line with the truth, upholding the principles to point them out and safeguarding the church work. Meanwhile, I have also come to see the nature and consequences of being a people pleaser more clearly, and I am able to consciously rebel against myself and conduct myself according to God’s words. This minor transformation and understanding I gained was due to God’s salvation. Thank God!