Is Amiability an Apt Criterion for Good Humanity?

February 7, 2023

By Frank, the Philippines

When I was little, people always said I was sensible and well-behaved; in short, a good kid. I rarely got angry at others and never caused any trouble. After entering the faith, I was also quite amiable with the other brothers and sisters. I was tolerant, patient and loving. I remember a period when I was teaching some older members how to use computers. I patiently taught them again and again. Even though sometimes they would be slow to learn and I’d get a bit agitated, I would try hard not to show impatience, out of fear that others would say I lacked loving kindness. As a result, brothers and sisters often said I had good humanity, and my leader chose me to water newcomers, saying that only people with kindness and patience could do that duty well. I felt very self-satisfied when I heard that, and was even more sure that being amiable and kind was a sign of good humanity.

Later on, Brother Li Ming and I were partnered as leaders in the church. After working together for some time, I noticed that Li Ming wanted to do things his own way, and he had a bit of a temper. If things didn’t go his way, he would often become angry. Also, he wasn’t transparent in his work and would often be deceptive. He didn’t act according to principles and didn’t protect the church’s work. For a period of time, he kept using her cell phone to contact brothers and sisters. I knew that this could allow the police to monitor them and could make trouble for the church, and I thought about stopping him several times, but just as I was about to speak up, I’d hold back. I felt that if I pointed out his problem directly, he might think that even though I acted like a nice person outwardly, I was rather merciless in my words and actions, and thus hard to get along with. After thinking it over, I decided to compromise and simply ask him if he was or wasn’t using his cell phone to contact other brothers and sisters. When he wouldn’t admit he was, I knew he was lying, but I didn’t expose him and stop him, fearing that it would drive a rift between us and make him think less of me. Later on, I noticed Li Ming’s problems were getting more and more serious. One time, some brothers and sisters told me that his wife always spoke words and doctrines to show off during gatherings, didn’t resolve actual issues, and told others about how much she’d suffered and sacrificed in her duty just to make them admire her. After an investigation, it was determined she wasn’t suited to be a leader and should be dismissed. When I told Li Ming about this, he became very irritated, saying that the brothers and sisters’ evaluation was false, and unfair to his wife. He even questioned why we didn’t investigate those who reported the issue, and only investigated his wife. I was shocked—I never imagined Li Ming would have such a poor attitude. To try to smooth things over, I told him, “Quiet your heart and seek God’s intention in this matter. Try not to let your emotions get the best of you.” But he didn’t listen to me at all and just wouldn’t let up. Due to Li Ming’s willful obstruction, his wife’s problem was left unsolved. After that, Li Ming also reprimanded the brothers and sisters during a gathering and even drove one sister to tears with his lecturing. I felt that Li Ming’s problem was getting very serious. The others had objectively and fairly evaluated his wife, only bringing up facts, but because this threatened his interests, he got angry and lashed out at them. He had evil humanity! I wanted to report his problem to our upper leader, but then I thought: “Isn’t that just being a tattletale and stabbing him in the back? Also, that leader will definitely call him in for fellowship if I report him—if he finds out that I was the one that reported him, what will he think of me? Won’t he say that I was disparaging him behind his back and that I have poor humanity?” Realizing this, I refrained from reporting him, but I felt a bit repressed and agonized.

Later on, because other people reported his problem, Li Ming was finally dismissed. In the aftermath, the upper leader exposed me, saying: “While on the surface it seems like you get along well with everyone, you have no real loyalty toward God. Why didn’t you expose and stop Li Ming when you noticed his problem? How could you not report such a crucial issue? Do you want to protect the church’s work or not?” Only after being pruned by my leader did I wake up and start praying to God and reflecting. I came across a passage of God’s words that says: “There must be a standard for having good humanity. It does not involve taking the path of moderation, not sticking to principles, endeavoring not to offend anyone, currying favor everywhere you go, being smooth and slick with everyone you meet, and making everyone speak well of you. This is not the standard. So, what is the standard? It is being able to submit to God and the truth. It is approaching one’s duty and all manner of people, events, and things with principles and a sense of responsibility. This is plain for all to see; everyone is clear about this in their heart. Moreover, God scrutinizes people’s hearts and knows their situation, each and every one; no matter who they are, no one can fool God. Some people always boast that they possess good humanity, that they never speak ill of others, never harm anyone else’s interests, and they claim never to have coveted other people’s property. When there is a dispute over interests, they even prefer to suffer loss than take advantage of others, and everyone else thinks they are good people. However, when performing their duties in God’s house, they are wily and slippery, always scheming for themselves. Never do they think of the interests of God’s house, never do they treat as urgent the things God treats as urgent or think as God thinks, and never can they set aside their own interests so as to perform their duties. They never forsake their own interests. Even when they see evil people committing evil, they do not expose them; they have no principles whatsoever. What kind of humanity is this? It is not good humanity. Pay no attention to what such people say; you must see what they live out, what they reveal, and what their attitude is when they perform their duties, as well as what their internal state is and what they love. If their love of their own fame and gain exceeds their loyalty to God, if their love of their own fame and gain exceeds the interests of God’s house, or if their love of their own fame and gain exceeds the consideration they show for God, then are such people possessed of humanity? They are not people with humanity(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). Through God’s words, I realized that a person’s humanity cannot be judged based on outward characteristics like whether they have a mild temper, or whether they can get along with others harmoniously, but rather on their attitude toward God and the truth, whether they are responsible in their duty, and whether they stand with God and act according to the truth principles when facing issues. In the past, I thought I had decent humanity. I was outwardly kind and had a nice personality, but when I noticed Li Ming using his cell phone to contact brothers and sisters, which compromised the church’s safety, I worried that calling him out directly might ruin our relationship, and so I just gave him a tactful, subtle reminder. When he didn’t admit to his behavior, I didn’t expose or stop him. I thought to myself, “If something goes wrong, he can’t say I didn’t remind him.” I thought that practicing this way wouldn’t damage my image and absolved me of responsibility if something went wrong. I was only thinking about my own interests, status and image, while paying no mind to the church’s work or the brothers’ and sisters’ safety. I was so selfish and deceitful! When I saw how Li Ming, out of affection for his wife, lashed out at the others over the issue with his wife, I should have reported this to our upper leader right away, but I worried he’d think I was backstabbing him, so I remained silent. I stood back and let Li Ming run amok, which negatively impacted the church’s work, and brought attacks and harm to the brothers and sisters. Where was my humanity? Considering my actions in light of God’s words of judgment and exposure, I felt very guilty. I always thought I had good humanity, but through the revelation of God’s words and being exposed through facts, my self-perception completely changed. Outwardly, I was kind, but behind that kindness was a despicable intention. I only cared about my personal interests and didn’t protect the church’s work at all. I dealt in fake kindness and tried to please everyone. I was a falsely pious and deceitful person. I no longer dared portray myself as someone with good humanity. Later on, I came across another passage of God’s words: “The essence behind good behavior such as being approachable and amiable can be described in one word: pretense. Such good behavior is not born of the words of God, nor as a result of practicing the truth or acting according to principle. What is it produced by? It comes from people’s motives, schemes, from them pretending, putting on an act, being deceitful. When people cling to these good behaviors, the aim is to get the things they want; if not, they would never aggrieve themselves in this way, and live contrary to their own desires. What does it mean, to live contrary to their own desires? It is that their true nature is not as well-behaved, guileless, gentle, kind, and virtuous as people imagine. They do not live by conscience and sense; instead, they live in order to achieve a certain aim or demand. What is man’s true nature? It is muddleheaded and ignorant. Without the laws and commandments bestowed by God, people would have no idea what sin is. Is this not what mankind used to be like? Only when God issued the laws and commandments did people have some concept of sin. But still they had no concept of right and wrong, or of positive and negative things. And how, with this being the case, could they be aware of the correct principles for speaking and acting? Could they know which ways of acting, which good behaviors, ought to be found in normal humanity? Could they know what produces truly good behavior, what kind of way they should follow to live out a human likeness? They could not. Because of people’s satanic nature, because of their instincts, they could only pretend and put on an act to live decently, and with dignity—which is what gave rise to deceits such as being well-educated and sensible, gentle and refined, courteous, respecting the old and caring for the young, and being amiable and approachable; thus emerged these tricks and techniques of deception. And once they emerged, people selectively clung to one or several of these deceits. Some chose to be amiable and approachable, some chose to be well-educated and sensible, gentle and refined, some chose to be courteous, to respect the old and care for the young, some chose to be all of these things. And yet I define people with such good behaviors with one term. What is that term? ‘Smooth stones.’ What are smooth stones? It is those smooth stones in rivers that have been scoured and polished of any sharp edges by long years of passing water. And though they may not hurt to step on, without care people can slip on them. In appearance and shape, these stones are very beautiful, but once you have taken them home, they are quite useless. You can’t bear to throw them away, but there is no point in keeping them, either—which is what a ‘smooth stone’ is. To Me, people with these apparently good behaviors are tepid. They pretend to be good on the outside, but do not accept the truth at all, they say nice-sounding things, but don’t do anything real. They are nothing but smooth stones. If you fellowship with them on the truth and the principles, they’ll talk to you about being gentle and refined, and courteous. If you speak to them about discerning antichrists, they’ll talk to you about respecting the old and caring for the young, and being well-educated and sensible. If you tell them that there must be principles to one’s comportment, that one must seek the principles in their duty and not act willfully, what will their attitude be? They’ll say, ‘Acting in accordance with the truth principles is another matter. I just want to be well-educated and sensible, and for others to approve of my actions. As long as I respect the old and care for the young, and have other people’s approval, that’s enough.’ They only care about good behaviors, they do not focus on the truth(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). Through God’s words, I realized that being amiable and approachable, behaviors deemed good in traditional culture, are in essence just a pretense. Those who act like this are just packaging themselves, putting on a false front to gain people’s admiration and deceive them into respecting and praising them. It’s all conspiracy and trickery, and acting this way makes them a fraud. I also realized that the reason I was still so selfish and deceitful, despite pursuing to have good behavior all these years, was because there were evil intentions behind all of this. I wanted to make a good impression on people so they would respect and praise me. I had been conditioned and educated by traditional culture from an early age to value good conduct. I thought that having good conduct would earn me the praise of people around me. After entering the faith, I continued to try to be an amiable and approachable person and maintain a good image and status among the brothers and sisters, especially when I was partnered with Li Ming. I noticed that he used his phone to contact brothers and sisters several times, violating principles, endangering brothers and sisters, and ignoring the church’s interests, and I should have exposed and stopped him, but I worried that he’d form a bad impression of me so I just let it slide. I clearly saw that Li Ming was protecting his wife and even suppressed the brothers and sisters, and that this was not just a simple case of corruption—his humanity was evil, he wasn’t a suitable leader, and he should have been reported right away. But instead I chose to remain silent once again to protect my status and image. To protect my image, I bit the hand that fed me. I didn’t protect the church’s interests at all. I became profoundly aware of how seeking to be amiable and approachable not only didn’t help me change my corrupt disposition, it actually made me more and more selfish and deceitful. I aimed for good behavior instead of practicing the truth, projecting a false image to hide my despicable intentions and make everyone think that I had the truth reality and that I was loving and kind, fooling them into trusting me and giving me their respect and approval. I was on the path of the falsely pious Pharisees and was resisting God. I would be condemned and eliminated by God if I continued on like that.

Later on, I read another two passages of God’s words that said: “And what is the consequence when people always think of their own self-interest, when they are always trying to protect their own pride and vanity, when they reveal a corrupt disposition yet do not seek the truth to fix it? It is that they have no life entry, it is that they lack true experiential testimony. And this is dangerous, is it not? If you never practice the truth, if you have no experiential testimony, then in due course you will be revealed and eliminated. What use do people without experiential testimony have in the house of God? They are bound to do any duty poorly, and be unable to do anything properly. Are they not just garbage? If people never practice the truth after years of believing in God, they are disbelievers; they are evil people. If you never practice the truth, and if your transgressions grow ever more numerous, then your outcome is set. It is clear to see that all your transgressions, the mistaken path you walk, and your refusal to repent all add up to a multitude of evil deeds; and so your outcome is that you will go to hell—you will be punished. Do you think this is a trivial matter? If you have not been punished, you will have no sense of how terrifying this is. When the day comes where you really do face calamity, and you are faced with death, it will be too late for regrets. If, in your faith in God, you do not accept the truth, and if you have believed in God for years but there has been no change in you, the ultimate consequence is that you will be eliminated and abandoned(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “Only when people act and comport themselves according to God’s words do they have a true foundation. If they do not comport themselves according to God’s words, and only focus on pretending to behave well, can they become good people as a result? Absolutely not. Good doctrines and behavior cannot change man’s corrupt dispositions, and they cannot change his essence. Only the truth and the words of God can change people’s corrupt dispositions, thoughts, and opinions, and become their life. … What should the basis of people’s speech and actions be? God’s words. So, what are the requirements and standards God has for people’s speech and actions? (That they be constructive to people.) That is right. Most fundamentally, you must tell the truth, speak honestly, and benefit others. At the very least, your speech must edify people, and not trick, mislead, make fun of, satirize, deride, mock, constrict them, expose their weaknesses, or hurt them. This is the expression of normal humanity. It is humanity’s virtue. … Also, in some special instances, it becomes necessary to directly expose other people’s errors and prune them, so that they gain knowledge of the truth and desire to repent. Only then is the due effect achieved. This way of practicing is of great benefit to people. It is a real help to them, and it is constructive for them, is it not?(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). I was alarmed by God’s words, and I felt afraid. If someone chooses to uphold their own interests in situation after situation and never practices the truth, they will accumulate more and more transgressions, and will eventually be thoroughly exposed and eliminated by God. I thought of myself—when I saw my brothers’ and sisters’ safety threatened and the church’s work being affected, I didn’t uphold principles and protect the church’s work, instead always seeking to be a so-called good person. Even if I earned the respect and approval of others, in God’s eyes I was an evildoer and would ultimately be spurned and punished by Him. I was terrified when I realized these consequences and was ready to rectify my misguided pursuit. God’s words also showed me the correct path of practice. Only by acting and speaking according to God’s words can we benefit and edify others. It doesn’t matter how we speak, whether we speak in a strong or soft voice, or how tactful we are with our words. What matters most is to speak in a way that is edifying for the brothers and sisters. As long as it’s the right person, someone who can accept the truth, we should help them with love. If they don’t understand the truth and damage the work, we can fellowship with them to provide guidance and support. If there is still no real improvement after fellowship, we can prune them, exposing the essence of their problem. Even if it sounds harsh or seems to ignore their feelings, this way of acting can truly benefit and support them. If they are an antichrist or evil person who is disrupting the church’s work, we should make a stand to expose and stop them or report them to our superiors to uphold the church’s work and protect the brothers and sisters from being disturbed and misled. Only by doing so are we really practicing the truth, demonstrating true humanity and kindness. God’s words also rectified a fallacious view I had. I thought that reporting someone for violating principles was tattling, backstabbing or being disloyal. This was a mistaken view. Doing so actually protects the church’s work and is a good deed. Li Ming had a serious problem that was impacting the church’s work and constraining and harming the brothers and sisters, and this was an issue of principle that concerned the church’s work, I should have mentioned it to the upper leadership right away or even reported him. This wouldn’t have been backstabbing; it would’ve been protecting the church’s work. After I realized this, many of my concerns vanished and I felt much more at ease.

One time, someone reported that a brother was continually slacking off and shying away from any hardship while doing his duty, and after others pointed this out, and pruned him several times, he still wouldn’t accept it at all. Based on principles, we decided that he needed to be dismissed, and that we should clearly dissect his issues so he could self-reflect. At the time, I thought, “It can be offensive to dissect someone’s problems for them. Maybe I’ll let my partner fellowship with him and I can stay out of it. Otherwise I might give him a bad impression.” But then, I suddenly realized I was trying to protect my status and image again. I recalled God’s words, which say: “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words showed me a path of practice. When faced with problems, we must put aside our desires and reputation, prioritize the church’s interests and consider God’s intentions. This is the only forthright way to act and will be commended by God. Once I understood God’s demands, I felt motivated, and so I dissected the brother’s behavior in detail according to God’s words. I felt very much at ease after practicing this way. I realized that only by practicing the truth can we attain true peace and happiness.

After this experience, I was filled with gratitude to God. It was God’s word that helped me see how absurd being amiable and approachable advocated by traditional culture is and what damage it inflicts on people. It also allowed me to experience the liberation and release that comes from breaking free of the constraints and fetters of traditional culture. Thanks be to God for His salvation!

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