By Li Xin, China

In December 2011, brothers and sisters from several churches were arrested one after another. Our church arranged for Sister Chen Xi, Sister Liang Xin and I to handle the aftermath separately. On the 25th, just after lunch, I received a phone call. The voice on the other end of the phone spoke with great urgency and said, “Li Xin, it’s bad news!” When I heard Chen Xi say this, my heart leapt into my throat. She told me in coded language that that morning, Liang Xin had been arrested by the police, who had also seized the church’s money. Chen Xi said that she was probably being followed, and asked me to find a way to deal with the aftermath and leave quickly.

I slumped on the sofa and thought, “The police must have been following and monitoring us for a while, and they came prepared. I know there is a place where church books and property are stored. Chen Xi and Liang Xin have both been there. I have to quickly move these things to a safe place, or the police could seize them at any moment.” But then I thought to myself, “That place might have been discovered by the police too, if I go now, won’t I just be delivering myself to them? If I am captured, the police will definitely torture me. If I can’t stand the torture and betray God, I will not attain a good ending and destination, won’t I?” The more I thought about it, the more frightened I became. I thought it might be better for me to stay where I was and wait for things to calm down. But I felt especially uneasy, because now that the interests of the church had suffered losses, I had a responsibility to protect them. How could I let myself be a coward at this time? I was torn between my own safety and the interests of the church, and I didn’t know what to do. But then, I recalled a passage of God’s words: “When you perform your duty, you are thinking of your own interests, of your own personal safety, of the members of your family. What have you ever done that was for Me? When have you ever thought of Me? When have you ever devoted yourself, at any cost, to Me and My work? Where is the evidence of your compatibility with Me? Where is the reality of your loyalty to Me?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Seek the Way of Compatibility With Christ). God’s word precisely revealed my state. Faced with being arrested and persecuted by the great red dragon, what I thought of wasn’t to be considerate of God’s intentions or to protect the work of the church. Instead, I thought only of my own interests. I was terrified of being arrested and tortured, and I was even more afraid the torture would break me, I would become a Judas, and I would thereby never attain a good ending and destination. All of my fears were to safeguard my own interests. At this critical moment, to protect myself, I disregarded the interests of the church and wanted to shirk my duty. I was so selfish and despicable! No matter how vicious the police might be, they were still in God’s hands, and without God’s permission, they couldn’t harm a single hair on my head. With this in mind, I felt calmer and less afraid. I thought of how the Lord Jesus was crucified to complete the work of redemption for all humankind. Why was the Lord Jesus able to unwaveringly lay down His life to complete God’s commission? I looked up the relevant parts of God’s word to read, which said: “Jesus was able to complete God’s commission—the work of all mankind’s redemption—because He showed consideration for God’s intentions, without making any plans or arrangements for Himself. So, too, was He the intimate of God—God Himself—which is something you all understand very well. (Actually, He was the God Himself who was testified to by God. I mention this here to use the fact of Jesus to illustrate the issue.) He was able to place God’s management plan at the very center, and always prayed to the heavenly Father and sought the will of the heavenly Father. He prayed and said: ‘God the Father! Accomplish that which is Your will, and act not according to My desires but according to Your plan. Man may be weak, but why should You care for him? How could man be worthy of Your concern, man who is like an ant in Your hand? In My heart, I wish only to fulfill Your will, and I would that You can do what You would do in Me according to Your own desires.’ On the road to Jerusalem, Jesus was in agony, as if a knife were being twisted in His heart, yet He had not the slightest intention of going back on His word; always there was a powerful force compelling Him onward to where He would be crucified. Ultimately, He was nailed to the cross and became the likeness of sinful flesh, completing the work of the redemption of mankind. He broke free of the shackles of death and Hades. Before Him, mortality, hell, and Hades lost their power, and were vanquished by Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How to Serve in Harmony With God’s Intentions). After reading this passage of God’s words, I was quite touched. To redeem humankind, who lived under Satan’s power, the Lord Jesus allowed Himself to be crucified and became the sin offering for humankind, enduring so much pain and humiliation. He prioritized fulfilling God’s commission above all, without conditions or excuses, and without regard to His gains or losses. Meanwhile, when a duty came upon me, I didn’t try to consider God’s intentions or fulfill my responsibility. I thought only about my own safety and final destination. At that moment, I was ashamed of myself, and I felt especially remorseful and indebted to God. I immediately fell to my knees and prayed to God to repent.

At that moment, I recalled a hymn of God’s word, which I often liked to sing. This song was Peter’s prayer when he was in extreme torment during his trial.

I Wish to Dedicate My Entire Life to God

1  You know what I can do, and You further know what role I can play. I wish to put myself at the mercy of Your orchestrations, and I will dedicate everything I have to You.

2  Only You know what I can do for You. Although Satan fooled me so much and I rebelled against You, I believe You do not remember me for those transgressions and that You do not treat me based on them. I wish to dedicate my entire life to You. I ask for nothing, and neither do I have other hopes or plans; I only wish to act according to Your intentions and to follow Your will. I will drink from Your bitter cup, and I am Yours to command.

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How Peter Came to Know Jesus

Peter’s prayer touched and inspired me. God knew my stature and what duties I was capable of performing, and since this duty had come to me, I knew I should fulfill it without hesitation. This is when I found my determination to put aside my personal interests and consider God’s intentions. The next day, I rushed to move the books and property. At the time, I was very worried. I was afraid something might go wrong on the way, so I continuously prayed to God. I thought of God’s word: “Do not fear, the Almighty God of hosts will surely be with you; He stands behind you and He is your shield” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 26). These words of God immediately gave me faith. I was completely in the hands of God, and it was up to God whether there would be danger on the way. My job was to finish my task to the best of my ability and do what I could. With God as my support, I had nothing to fear. Later, when the books and property were moved to a safe place, my heart finally settled down.

A year later, in December 2012, I found myself in a period in which the gospel was spreading profusely, and many people all over the country were accepting the work of Almighty God. The Communist Party was furious. It used its media mouthpieces to attack and smear The Church of Almighty God, and frantically suppressed and arrested brothers and sisters. In the town where I lived, more than ten brothers and sisters were arrested. One day, when I was out of town for a gathering, I suddenly received a phone call from Sister Tian Hui. She said nervously, “It’s bad news, something happened….” I realized she probably couldn’t tell me clearly on the phone, so I hung up and raced back. After I met with Tian Hui, I learned that the police were searching for one of the sisters who were spreading the gospel. The police had posted wanted notices for her on propaganda boards, telephone poles, factory gates, and all over the streets. They also used her photos to check passing vehicles and pedestrians one by one at the county intersections. Tian Hui told me that the brothers and sisters had helped her and another sister find a temporary place to hide. However, many family members of our brothers and sisters heard the news that the government was ramping up its arrests of the faithful, and they were very worried that their family members would also be arrested, so they kept the brothers and sisters at home and did not allow them to come out for gatherings. I discussed what to do with Tian Hui, and we decided to water and support the brothers and sisters separately, so that everyone could understand the truth, not be constrained by the dark forces of the great red dragon, and be able to stand firm in such an environment.

One day, I went to support a sister, and by the time we finished our fellowship, it was already after midnight. I walked alone on the quiet and empty road, thinking to myself, “I’ve had to support this sister so late into the night, and there are still so many brothers and sisters who need to be watered and supported. I’m in danger right now, so if I keep running about from house to house like this, and I get caught, I don’t know what kind of torture the police will use on me. Will the Communist Party beat me to death because it hates people who believe in God? If I am beaten to death, I won’t be able to see the beauty of the kingdom come into being, will I? Performing this duty is too dangerous! Nobody explicitly arranged for me to support my brothers and sisters right now, so why am I taking this risk?” The more I thought about it, the more frightened I became. When I got home, I received a letter from a sister. She and more than a dozen brothers and sisters had been arrested for preaching the gospel. She had just been released. She said in the letter that the brothers and sisters in prison told us not to worry about them. Although they were arrested, imprisoned, and suffering some hardship, they felt that it was an honor to be persecuted for preaching the gospel. The sister also said that after a while, once she was sure the police stopped following and monitoring her, she would continue to preach the gospel. When I read her letter, I felt very guilty. These brothers and sisters were suffering in prison, but instead of complaining, they saw being persecuted for preaching the gospel as a glory. Then I thought about myself. I was merely supporting my brothers and sisters and doing some work to handle things in the aftermath of a wave of arrests, but I was always worried that I would be arrested and beaten to death. All I thought about was my own interests, ending, and destination. The more I thought about it, the more remorseful and guilty I felt. I was so selfish and despicable, and was unworthy of God’s watering and sustenance. This is when I recalled a passage of God’s word: “I admire the lilies blooming in the hills; the flowers and grasses stretch across the slopes, but the lilies add luster to My glory on earth before the arrival of spring—can man achieve such things? Could he testify to Me on earth prior to My return? Could he dedicate himself for the sake of My name in the country of the great red dragon?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 34). I also read another passage: “Because it is embarked upon in a land that opposes God, all of God’s work faces tremendous obstacles, and accomplishing many of His words takes time; thus, people are refined as a result of God’s words, which is also part of suffering. It is tremendously difficult for God to carry out His work in the land of the great red dragon—but it is through this difficulty that God does one stage of His work, making manifest His wisdom and His wondrous deeds, and using this opportunity to make this group of people complete” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). After contemplating God’s words, I understood a little bit about God’s intention. God allows the great red dragon to persecute us to perfect our faith and submission. In the last days, God perfects a group of people into overcomers, who, no matter how dangerous or awful the situation is, can keep to their duties, practice the truth, and stand firm in testimony. This was the time I needed to stand firm in testimony to God, but for the sake of my own safety, I wanted to abandon my duty and flee this situation. I was truly selfish and despicable! I thought about the flowers and plants on the roadside. No matter how severe the cold or heat, no matter how harsh the environment, so long as it is the season God has ordained for them to grow, they grow and bloom, bearing witness to the deeds of the Creator. So why did I become pained and weak the moment the situation became even a little difficult? Why couldn’t I fulfill a little of the duty of a created being? I was truly inferior to the flowers and plants by the roadside. How could I be worthy to live in God’s presence? I felt very remorseful, so I reflected on myself: Why, every time I encountered the arrest and persecution of the great red dragon and needed to fulfill my duty, did I only consider my own interests and fail to stand up to safeguard the work of the church?

Later, I read a passage of God’s word: “God is forever supreme and ever honorable, while man is forever base, forever worthless. This is because God is forever making sacrifices and devoting Himself to mankind; man, however, forever takes and strives only for himself. God is forever taking pains for mankind’s survival, yet man never contributes anything for the sake of the light or for justice. Even if man makes an effort for a time, it cannot withstand a single blow, for the effort of man is always for his own sake and not for others. Man is always selfish, while God is forever selfless. God is the source of all that is just, good, and beautiful, while man is he who succeeds to and makes manifest all ugliness and evil. God will never alter His essence of justice and beauty, yet man is perfectly capable, at any time and in any situation, of betraying justice and straying far from God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. It Is Very Important to Understand God’s Disposition). After reading this passage of God’s words, I was deeply moved. To save humankind from Satan’s power, God became flesh twice, and no matter how much humiliation or suffering He endured, God has always expressed the truth and worked for people’s salvation, and He has never given up on His goal of saving people. His essence is selfless and good. Meanwhile, I lived by satanic philosophies like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “Never lift a finger without a reward,” I always considered my own interests first in everything, and I failed to consider the work of the church at all. When something didn’t require any great suffering, and didn’t involve my future and destination, I could expend myself or forsake a little. As soon as I was faced with the threat of being arrested and persecuted, I was constantly afraid of being captured, afraid of being beaten to death, and afraid of never attaining a good ending and destination. Time and time again, I wanted to abandon my duty. I didn’t think about the negativity and weakness of my brothers and sisters, nor did I think about God’s worries. I only considered my own interests. How could I be said to have a conscience? As I thought of this, I felt particularly ashamed, so I knelt and prayed to God, “God! I am selfish, despicable, and I have no humanity. I wish to repent to You, and to water and support my brothers and sisters.” After I prayed, I thought of another hymn of God’s word:

You Should Forsake All for the Truth

1  You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment.

2  You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment

Pondering the words of God, I felt deeply stirred. Even if one day I was actually arrested and imprisoned, or even tortured to death, it would still be a death in martyrdom to the performance of the duty of a created being, which is an honorable thing. Being able to transcend the constraint of death and fulfill the duty of a created being is powerful and resounding testimony, a hundred times better than living trapped in my corrupt disposition and dragging out an ignoble existence. Once I realized these things, I felt a deep sense of release.

The next day, we invited a few brothers and sisters to gather together. Through fellowship on God’s words, everyone came to understand that God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s tricks, that God allows persecution and tribulations to come to us to perfect our faith, and that the great red dragon is only a service object in God’s work. After this fellowship, everyone was willing to fulfill their duties to support the other brothers and sisters. When I saw the brothers and sisters emerge from their negativity and weakness and become stronger, I was especially moved. I saw that no hostile force can suppress the authority and power of God’s words. After experiencing this wave of persecution and arrests, everyone had more faith in God, and I knew that this was all by the grace of God. I recalled God’s word: “Proof of the great red dragon’s progressive collapse can be seen in the continued maturation of God’s people; this is obvious and visible to anyone. The maturation of God’s people is a sign of the enemy’s demise” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 10). God used the frantic arrests of the great red dragon in His service to perfect His chosen people. Through its persecution, God perfected the faith and submission of my brothers and sisters, and everyone made progress in their lives. This is precisely the effect that God’s work aims to achieve. As I saw God’s words fulfilled, my faith grew, and my motivation to perform my duty was greater than ever.

Shortly after this incident, I received news that the police had located the town where the two wanted sisters were hiding through telephone surveillance, and they were going house to house to find them. The police also set up search checkpoints along the road. Some brothers and sisters took the risk to bring the two sisters to a cave dwelling outside the town. The weather was very cold those two days, the two sisters were exhausted from hiding and living on the run, and they couldn’t get anything to eat, so it was impossible for them to stay in the cave for long. We needed to rescue them. I thought, “There are wanted notices for my sisters posted all over the street, and the police are checking passing vehicles. If we try to drive out with the sisters and are caught by the police, we will definitely be charged with harboring fugitives. The police will arrest us, I will be beaten to within an inch of my life, and if I end up being beaten to death, how will I pursue the truth and be saved?” When that thought crossed my mind, I realized I was being selfish, despicable, and thinking only of myself again, so I immediately said a silent prayer to God and asked Him to protect my heart so that I could stand on His side without considering personal interests. At that moment, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he is blessed or cursed. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. To be blessed is when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. To be cursed is when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment, it is when they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they are blessed or cursed, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to be blessed, and you should not refuse to act for fear of being cursed. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). Performing one’s duty is the vocation of a created being, and we should demand no conditions in doing this. No matter how dangerous the environment, or whether we have a good ending and destination, we should fulfill our duty. This is the reason that a created being should possess. It was my duty to protect my sisters. Even if I was captured as I escorted my sisters and was beaten to death, I would die for the sake of performing my duty as a created being, which is something glorious! Having come to understand God’s intention, I went out to rescue the two sisters with others. We hid them in the trunk of the car, and out of fear that the police would discover us, we avoided the main roads and took a small road through the forest. For the entire trip, I kept praying to God and asking Him to protect us. After about an hour or so, we successfully brought our sisters to their destination, and it felt like a great weight lifted from me. As we raced back to the county, our car was stopped by the police, but there was no one they were looking for in the car, so they let us go. It was a close call!

Through my experience, I saw that to tear down God’s work, suppress and arrest believers in God, the Communist Party has reached the point of madness, but no matter how frantic it becomes, it is still subject to God’s sovereign arrangements, and it is only a service object in God’s hands. I also finally understood what God meant by saying: “In all of My plans, the great red dragon is My foil, My enemy, and also My servant; as such, I have never relaxed My ‘requirements’ of it. Therefore, the final stage of the work of My incarnation is completed in its household—this is more conducive to the great red dragon doing service for Me properly, through which I will conquer it and complete My plan” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 29). In the last days, it is of great significance that God carries out His work in China, the lair of the great red dragon. God uses the service of the great red dragon to perfect our faith and perfect a group of people into overcomers. God is truly wise! Thanks be to Almighty God!