By Xiao Cong, China

In December 2023, I was doing my duty of watering and was responsible for the watering work of several churches. At that time, I was very proactive in my duty and had a basic grasp of the newcomers’ situations. By March 2024, the number of newcomers at Jianglin Church had gradually increased, and the supervisor arranged for me to be responsible for the watering work of this church. Since this church was pretty far from the other churches I was responsible for, and the general situation was not good, the supervisor reminded me that if I couldn’t meet the newcomers in good time, I should write more letters to the waterers to understand how the newcomers were doing. I agreed without hesitation at the time.

A week later, the supervisor wrote to ask about things like the newcomers’ recent states and difficulties, and the duties these newcomers were suitable to do. Seeing these questions, I thought to myself, “I’ve just taken up responsibility for Jianglin Church’s watering work, and I have only gotten a general grasp of the newcomers’ situations, with few details. I promised the supervisor that I’d focus on following up on how the newcomers were doing, but as of now, I haven’t actually followed up on them properly. If I answer truthfully, what will the supervisor think of me? Will he think I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work? Will he think that even though I’ve been watering for some time, I still don’t even know how to follow up on the work, and that my caliber is poor? Will he therefore look down on me?” Thinking of this, I didn’t want to reply to him. But I couldn’t just not reply to him either. I’d really gotten myself into a dilemma here. I was damned if I spoke, damned if I didn’t. At that moment, an idea struck me, “If I write to the waterers of Jianglin Church right now and I clarify things before replying to the supervisor, then the supervisor won’t think I have poor work capabilities and that I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work.” So, I quickly wrote to the waterers of Jianglin Church. After finishing the letter, I still felt unsettled. I thought to myself, “If the waterers are slow to respond, and I don’t reply to the supervisor promptly because I’m still waiting, will the supervisor have a bad impression of me? In that case, it might expose that I haven’t followed up on the work properly. This way, not only would I fail to maintain my pride and status, but it’d also put me in a dilemma, and if the supervisor later asks for the reason for this, I won’t have a good explanation. I need to reply to the supervisor first. But what can I say so that the supervisor will think that there are legitimate reasons for me replying so late? The supervisor asked so many questions, and if I say I’ve followed up on all these issues, that wouldn’t be realistic, so I’ll just say that I’ve overlooked one issue and that I’m writing a letter to follow up on it and that I’ll give him feedback altogether after receiving replies. This way, the supervisor won’t say anything about me. After all, people don’t think about every issue comprehensively—missing one or two is normal.” So, I replied to the supervisor this way. A couple of days later, the waterers of Jianglin Church replied with details of the newcomers’ situation, and I reported these things to the supervisor point by point. The supervisor didn’t say anything, and I felt relieved, thinking, “Thank goodness I didn’t truthfully report the situation; otherwise, the supervisor would surely think I’m limited in my thinking, and he’d question my work capabilities, or he’d believe I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work. If that were to happen, I wouldn’t be able to maintain my good image in his eyes.”

One day, during a gathering, I read in God’s latest words that those who belong to the category of devils are habitual liars. I was reminded of how I replied to the supervisor’s letter. I clearly hadn’t followed up on the newcomers’ situation, but I claimed to have only missed one issue. My actions were also lying and deceiving, and I wanted to open up and talk about my deceitful state. But then I reconsidered, “I went to great lengths to lie before. Wasn’t this precisely to maintain my good image in the supervisor’s eyes? If I opened up now, wouldn’t all my previous ‘efforts’ have been in vain? To say nothing of losing face and status, the supervisor will also think of me as really scheming and deceitful. Forget it. If I don’t say anything, no one will know.” So, I didn’t open up. After the gathering, I thought of how God said that those who habitually lie value their own interests greatly, and that once their pride and status are involved, they go to any lengths to lie and deceive. Wasn’t this how I was? I lied about following up on my work just to maintain my pride and status. Wasn’t this the same as a devil’s behavior? Realizing this, I felt extremely uneasy and afraid. So I opened up to the supervisor about this matter.

Afterward, I sought God’s words regarding my state to enter into the truth. I read God’s words: “The intents of deceitful people are much more complicated than those of honest people. Their considerations are too multifaceted: They must consider their prestige, their reputation, profit, and status; and they must protect their interests—all this, without letting others see any flaws or giving the game away, so they must rack their brains to come up with lies. Moreover, deceitful people have great, excessive desires and many demands. They have to devise ways to achieve their goals, so they must continue to lie and cheat, and as they tell more lies, they need to cover up more lies. That is why the life of a deceitful person is so much more exhausting and painful than that of an honest person. Some people are relatively honest. If they can pursue the truth, reflect on themselves regardless of what lies they have told, recognize the trickery they have engaged in, whatever it was, viewing it in light of God’s words to dissect it and understand it, and going on to change it, then they will be able to rid themselves of much of their lying and trickery in no more than a few years. They will then have become a person who is basically honest. Living like this not only makes them free from much pain and exhaustion, it also brings them peace and happiness. In many matters, they will be free of the constraints of fame, gain, status, of vanity and pride, and will naturally live a free and liberated life. Deceitful people, however, always have ulterior motives behind their speech and actions. They fabricate all manner of lies to mislead and trick others, and as soon as they are exposed, they think of ways to cover up their lies. Tormented in this way and that, they, too, feel that their lives are exhausting. It is exhausting enough for them to tell so many lies in every situation that they encounter, and having to then cover up those lies is even more exhausting. Everything they say is intended to accomplish a goal, so they expend a lot of mental energy on every word they speak. And when they have finished talking, they fear you have seen through them, so they must also rack their brains to hide their lies, doggedly explaining things to you, trying to convince you that they are not lying or deceiving you, that they are a good person. Deceitful people are apt to do these things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). From God’s words, I understood that people with a deceitful disposition consider issues in an extremely complicated way. They try to protect their pride and status while ensuring others don’t see any of their flaws. If something threatens their pride and status, they will rack their brains to lie and to cover up their lies. When the supervisor wrote to follow up on the newcomers’ situation, I just needed to reply with which aspects had been followed up on and which had not. It was a very simple matter. But I overcomplicated it. I worried that if I responded truthfully, it would expose my deficiencies in my duty, and that the supervisor might doubt my work capability and look down on me. So I thought of first becoming clear about the newcomers’ situation and then responding. This way, I could cover up the fact that the follow-up work I’d been doing was inadequate. But I also worried that if I waited until I understood the situation clearly before replying, the supervisor would think I was dragging my feet in responding, and in that case, it might expose that I’d been inadequate in following up with the newcomers, and my image as a diligent, responsible person would be affected. So I lied to the supervisor, saying that there was only one issue I hadn’t followed up on. At the same time, I quickly wrote to the waterers to get information on the newcomers, and then reported the information I’d gathered to the supervisor, presenting the facade that I was actually doing real work. I really went to such great lengths to protect my pride and status, resorting to tricks and scheming. I was utterly deceitful! In actuality, God scrutinizes the depths of the human heart. He knew of everything I did. I could deceive people, but I couldn’t deceive God, for He sees all. If I didn’t repent and change now, I would surely be eliminated by God. I had to urgently pursue the truth and change my deceitful disposition.

Later, I watched an experiential testimony video titled I’ve Experienced the Joy of Being Honest. In it, there was a passage of God’s words that gave me some understanding of the path I was walking. Almighty God says: “If you are a leader or worker, are you afraid of the house of God making inquiries about and supervising your work? Are you afraid that the house of God will discover lapses and mistakes in your work and prune you? Are you afraid that after the Above gets to know your real caliber and stature, they will see you in a different light and not consider you for promotion? If you have these fears, this proves that your motivations are not for the sake of church work, you are working for the sake of reputation and status, which proves that you have the disposition of an antichrist. If you have the disposition of an antichrist, you are liable to walk the path of antichrists, and commit all the evil wrought by antichrists. If, in your heart, you have no fear of God’s house supervising your work, and you are able to provide real answers to the questions and inquiries of the Above, without hiding anything, and say as much as you know, then regardless of whether what you say is right or wrong, irrespective of the corruption you revealed—even if you revealed the disposition of an antichrist—you will absolutely not be defined as an antichrist. What’s key is whether you are able to know your own disposition of an antichrist, and whether you are able to seek the truth in order to solve this problem. If you are someone who accepts the truth, your antichrist’s disposition can be fixed. If you know full well that you have the disposition of an antichrist and yet do not seek the truth to resolve it, if you even try to conceal or lie about problems that occur and shirk responsibility, and if you do not accept the truth when subjected to pruning, then this is a serious problem, and you are no different from an antichrist. Knowing that you have the disposition of an antichrist, why do you not dare face it? Why can you not approach it frankly and say, ‘If the Above inquires about my work, I’ll say all I know, and even if the bad things I’ve done come to light, and the Above no longer makes use of me once they know, and I lose my status, I’ll still say clearly what I have to say’? Your fear of supervision of and inquiries after your work by God’s house proves that you treasure your status more than the truth. Is this not the disposition of an antichrist? To cherish status above all is the disposition of an antichrist” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). From God’s words, I came to understand that not daring to report matters truthfully when leaders and workers inquire about and supervise work, and even covering up the truth for the sake of reputation and status, means you are someone with the disposition of antichrists, and who walks the path of antichrists. Comparing this to my own state, when the supervisor asked about the newcomers I was responsible for, there were a lot of issues I didn’t have a clear understanding of, but I was afraid that if I reported truthfully and the supervisor saw that I hadn’t followed up on matters properly, then he would think I was being perfunctory, or even question my work capability, which would affect my reputation and status. So I lied and resorted to deception. Wasn’t this the same disposition as that of an antichrist? In actuality, the supervisor following up on the work was in one respect to remind me about whether the watering work had been properly followed up on and implemented, so that if it hadn’t been implemented properly, I could promptly do so, thus avoiding delays in the progress of the watering work due to momentary oversight. This served to remind and help me. What’s more, in the supervisor’s inquiry into the newcomers’ situation, if there were deviations in the watering work, these could be promptly fellowshipped about and addressed. In this, the supervisor was safeguarding the interests of the church. I should have reported honestly, saying as much as I knew, and as for what I hadn’t properly followed up on, it would have been fine if I’d just hurried up in implementing and following up on it. But I cherished my reputation and status so much, and when faced with the supervisor’s oversight, I didn’t dare to admit that I hadn’t done my work well. Instead, I lied and deceived the supervisor. This could lead to deviations not being corrected in time, which would delay the newcomers’ life entry. I truly placed reputation and status above all else. In my duty, I was always trying to protect my reputation and status, scheming and maneuvering. In what way did I have any sincerity or loyalty?

One day, I read a passage of God’s words: “That God asks for people to be honest proves that He truly loathes and dislikes deceitful people. God’s dislike of deceitful people is a dislike of their way of doing things, their dispositions, their intents and their methods of trickery; God dislikes all of these things. If deceitful people are able to accept the truth, admit to their deceitful dispositions, and are willing to accept God’s salvation, then they too have a hope of being saved—for God treats all people equally, as does the truth. And so, if we wish to become people who please God, the first thing we must do is change our principles of comportment. No longer can we live according to satanic philosophies, no longer can we get by on lies and trickery. We must cast off all our lies and become honest people. Then God’s view of us will change. Previously, people always relied on lies, pretense, and trickery while living among others, and they took satanic philosophies as the basis of their existence, as their lives, and as their foundation in their self-conduct. This was something that God loathed. Among nonbelievers, if you speak frankly, tell the truth, and are an honest person, then you will be slandered, judged, and forsaken. So you follow worldly trends and live by satanic philosophies; you become more and more skilled at lying, and more and more deceitful. You also learn to use insidious means to achieve your goals and protect yourself. You become more and more prosperous in Satan’s world, and as a result, you fall deeper and deeper into sin until you cannot extricate yourself. In God’s house, things are precisely the opposite. The more you lie and play deceitful games, the more God’s chosen people will become sick of you and forsake you. If you refuse to repent and still cling to satanic philosophies and logic, if you use ploys and elaborate schemes to disguise and package yourself, then you are very likely to be revealed and eliminated. This is because God loathes deceitful people. Only honest people can prosper in God’s house, and deceitful people will eventually be forsaken and eliminated. All of this is preordained by God. Only honest people can have a share in the kingdom of heaven. If you do not try to be an honest person, and if you don’t experience and practice in the direction of pursuing the truth, if you don’t expose your own ugliness, and if you don’t lay yourself bare, then you will never be able to receive the Holy Spirit’s work and gain God’s approval” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). From God’s words, I understood that God likes honest people and detests deceitful people, because deceitful people always lie and deceive no matter what situation they face, and take satanic philosophies as the foundation of their survival and do not practice the truth at all. Reflecting on the root of my deceitfulness, I saw that I lived by the sayings, “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” and “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” I lived by these satanic poisons, placing great importance on my pride, status, and personal interests. No matter what I encountered, once my pride and status were involved, I’d rack my brains and do whatever it took to cover up the truth. After doing so, I’d even think that this is how smart people act, that only fools and stupid people tell the truth. I remember when I was in school, one time, I got the homework mixed up and left one part unfinished. I was worried about ruining my image as a good student in the teacher’s eyes, so I lied to the teacher, saying that I had left my homework at home and that I’d go back and get it at noon. Then I hurriedly finished the assignment and handed it in that afternoon. Now that I’d found God, I was still living by satanic thoughts and views. To maintain my image in the supervisor’s eyes and hide my problems and shortcomings, I resorted to trickery and deception to cover up the truth. Even when I realized later that I should be an honest person and fellowship openly, I worried that if I opened up, all my previous efforts would have been in vain, and that the supervisor would think of me as utterly scheming and deceitful. So I didn’t want to speak honestly. God likes honest people, because honest people have the courage to take responsibility when faced with problems, and they have the courage to face their shortcomings when they are revealed, and afterward, they can seek the truth and resolve these things. The more such people do their duties, the more they grasp principles and the better their results. But I showed none of these behaviors. I always tried to disguise and cover up my flaws, and I even tried to deceive my brothers and sisters. In what way did I have any of the likeness of an honest person? What I was living out was a crooked and deceitful satanic image. If I remained unrepentant, I would certainly be spurned by God and lose my chance at salvation.

Later, I read two passages of God’s words and I found a path of practice. Almighty God says: “People think that without their own interests—that if they were to lose their interests—they wouldn’t be able to survive. It’s as if their survival is inseparable from their own interests, so most people are blind to all but their own interests. They see their own interests as higher than anything else, they live for their own interests, and getting them to give up their own interests is like asking them to give up their own lives. So, what should be done in such circumstances? People must accept the truth. Only when they understand the truth can they see through to the essence of their own interests; only then can they begin to relinquish and rebel against them, and be able to endure the pain of letting go of that which they love so much. And when you can do this and forsake your own interests, you will feel more at ease and more at peace in your heart, and in so doing you will have overcome the flesh” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Knowing One’s Disposition Is the Foundation of Changing It). “To be an honest person, you must first lay your heart bare so that everyone can look into it, see all that you are thinking, and look upon your true face. You must not try to disguise yourself, or cover yourself up. Only then will others trust you and consider you to be an honest person. This is the most fundamental practice, and a prerequisite to being an honest person. … If you wish to be an honest person, then regardless of whether you are before God or other people, you should be able to provide a pure and open account of your inner state and the words in your heart. Is this easy to achieve? It requires a period of training, as well as frequent prayer and reliance on God. You must train yourself to speak the words in your heart simply and openly on all matters. With this kind of training, you can make progress” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). God’s words made the path of practice clear. To resolve a deceitful state, one must give up personal interests, not consider personal pride or status, and open up to God in all things. In my duties, I should report any issues or personal shortcomings promptly, without considering my pride or status, and I should prioritize the interests of God’s house. Even if by speaking the truth, the brothers and sisters see my issues and shortcomings in my duties and then look down on me, I must still approach it correctly. Only by practicing being open and speaking from my heart can I become an honest person. So, I made a firm decision that in the future, when I encountered difficulties and problems in my duties again, no matter how my brothers and sisters would view me, I had to open up and lay bare to them about my thoughts and actions, and be an honest person in God’s eyes.

During a gathering, a newcomer I was responsible for, Xiao Ya, asked me a question about preaching the gospel, and at the time, I briefly fellowshipped a little, but later I found that my understanding was deviated, and that it couldn’t resolve Xiao Ya’s issue at all. Later, the supervisor asked me about my gathering with Xiao Ya, and I thought to myself, “If I write out my fellowship with Xiao Ya truthfully, the supervisor will surely think that as a waterer, I can’t even fellowship such a small issue clearly, and that I can’t do real work. Maybe I’ll just gloss over it and not write what really happened.” As I considered this, I felt like this was wrong. Was this not being deceitful? Even though others might not know what I’d done, God was scrutinizing my heart. God loves honest people, and I should be an honest person and speak the truth. In the end, I wrote it truthfully. And when I did this, the weight on my heart finally lifted, and I felt a great sense of relief. Afterward, I fellowshipped with Xiao Ya in good time and corrected my deviations. Later, as I interacted with brothers and sisters in life and did my duties, I practiced being an honest person, and even though sometimes, when my interests were involved, I was tempted to act deceitfully, under the guidance of God’s words, I chose to speak the truth to my brothers and sisters. Whenever I reported truthfully to the brothers and sisters I was partnered with or to the supervisor, they never criticized me for doing poorly. On the contrary, they reminded and helped me, and they fellowshipped the truth principles with me. In my heart, I felt at ease and liberated, and I was no longer as exhausted as before. It was God’s words that helped me recognize my deceitful disposition and realize that practicing according to God’s words and daring to speak the truth and open up isn’t a shameful thing. In fact, the more I open up, the more steadfast and liberated I feel. Thank God for allowing me to make these gains!