By Bai Lu, China

Dear Lin Yi,

I have received your letter. Time passes so quickly. In a blink of an eye, we haven’t seen each other for almost a year. In your letter, you were asking me what I’ve gained so far from doing my duty. For a moment, I didn’t even know where to begin, but the most memorable experience was the reassignment of my duties, which made me gain some knowledge of my nature of indulging in comfort and ease. At this point, you must be wondering what I have experienced. Let me tell you all about it.

In January of this year, I was in charge of the text-based work. Since I was new to the role, hadn’t mastered many of the principles, and didn’t know how to cooperate, I learned and trained with a sister who I was partnered with. Usually, I also took the initiative to look into the work of the different groups. Later, each of those groups sought advice on quite a lot of questions, and I had to write letters to fellowship and address their states as well as the deviations in their work. I was busy from morning until late at night every day. As time went on, I grumbled a little in my heart, “To resolve these states, I have to carefully contemplate the root cause of each problem, and find the relevant words of God and principles, which requires a lot of thinking. It’s really exhausting!” I didn’t want my brain to be so tense all the time, so I hoped the brothers and sisters would ask fewer questions. That way I could be a little more relaxed. Later, two more sisters were partnered with us. I was very happy, thinking that this would reduce my workload, and then I wouldn’t have to worry as much or need to tire myself out so much. Sometimes, when I saw a brother or sister in a bad state and that results of their work were declining, I thought I should quickly fellowship with them to resolve it. But then I also thought, “I can’t completely see through these problems either. I’ll have to spend time pondering and find relevant words of God and principles. That will be too much of a bother! It’d be better to let the sisters I’m partnered with resolve them.” So, I did not bother with them anymore. Just like this, whenever I encountered any complicated problem, I found it troublesome, and pushed it onto my partnered sisters to resolve. I bore less and less of a burden in my duties, and just followed the routine and handled my daily tasks each day. If there was a bit more work assigned to me or if it was a bit harder, I would get upset. I only focused on doing simple tasks and didn’t put effort into pursuing truth, resulting in me not making much progress. My partnered sisters pointed out that I lacked a sense of burden in my duty and advised me to reflect on and resolve this. But I didn’t take it seriously. Gradually, I found it harder and harder to see problems clearly and often dozed off, and my work efficiency became very low.

Later, the leaders noticed that I lacked a sense of burden in my duty and that I wasn’t getting results, so I was dismissed. Only then did I start to reflect on myself. One day, I read these words of God: “Lazy people can’t do anything. To summarize it in two words, they are useless people; they have a second-class disability. No matter how good the caliber of lazy people is, it is nothing more than window dressing; even though they have good caliber, it is of no use. They are too lazy—they know what they are supposed to do, but they don’t do it, and even if they know something is a problem, they do not seek the truth to resolve it, and though they know what hardships they should suffer in order for the work to be effective, they are unwilling to endure these worthwhile hardships—so they cannot gain any truths, and they cannot do any real work. They do not wish to endure the hardships people are supposed to; they only know to indulge in comfort, enjoy times of joy and leisure, and enjoy a free and relaxed life. Are they not useless? People who cannot endure hardship don’t deserve to live. Those who always wish to live the life of a parasite are people without conscience or reason; they are beasts, and such people are unfit even to perform labor. Because they cannot endure hardship, even when they do perform labor, they are not able to do it well, and if they wish to gain the truth, there is even less hope of that. Someone who cannot suffer and does not love the truth is a useless person; they are unqualified even to perform labor. They are a beast, without a shred of humanity. Such people must be eliminated; only this accords with God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). When I saw these terms in God’s words—“useless people,” “a second-class disability,” “beast,” “unfit even to perform labor,” and “don’t deserve to live,”—it pierced my heart. I felt God’s disgust toward lazy people. God had exalted me and showed me grace, allowing me to perform the duty of a supervisor, so that I could train in using the truth to resolve problems. Regardless of how much I could fellowship and resolve, I should have tried my best to do it; this was the responsibility that I should have performed. But when I saw the brothers’ and sisters’ states were bad and the results of their work were declining, I felt that it was too much trouble and mentally exhausting to resolve, so I just passed this work onto other people. I didn’t even do what was within my ability. When I encountered more complicated problems, I could clearly resolve some of them with careful pondering, but I didn’t want to put in the effort and pay the price, so I used excuses like “I couldn’t see through it” or “I didn’t know how” as a reason to pass them onto the sisters I was partnered with. I only did some simple work every day, and I did not have an ounce of responsibility toward my duty, and drifted aimlessly through each day. Wasn’t this just being a parasite in God’s house? I thought about how some brothers and sisters did not have very good caliber, but they were able to put their hearts into performing their duties, and went all out, and so their attitude toward their duties was acceptable to God. Whereas my caliber wasn’t too poor and I was able to resolve some problems, but I always treasured the flesh and indulged in comfort, and was not even willing to toil and endure hardships when performing my duty. I truly had no conscience or reason. How was I fit to be a supervisor! God hated and was disgusted by my attitude toward my duty. If this continued, I wouldn’t even be able to labor well, and would only be spurned and eliminated by God. Realizing this, I said a prayer, willing to really reflect on myself.

After that, I pondered, what was the root cause of me always indulging in comfort and not being willing to worry and endure hardships? Then, I saw these words of God: “For many years, the thoughts that people have relied upon for their survival have been corroding their hearts to the point that they have become treacherous, cowardly, and despicable. Not only do they lack willpower and resolve, but they have also become greedy, arrogant, and willful. They are utterly lacking any resolve that transcends the self, and even more, they don’t have a bit of courage to shake off the strictures of these dark influences. People’s thoughts and lives are so rotten that their perspectives on believing in God are still unbearably hideous, and even when people speak of their perspectives on belief in God it is simply unbearable to hear. People are all cowardly, incompetent, despicable, and fragile. They do not feel disgust for the forces of darkness, and they do not feel love for the light and the truth; instead, they do their utmost to expel them” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Why Are You Unwilling to Be a Foil?). “Are you content to live under the influence of Satan, with peace and joy, and a little fleshly comfort? Are you not the lowliest of all people? None are more foolish than those who have beheld salvation but do not pursue to gain it; these are people who gorge themselves on the flesh and enjoy Satan. You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you are incapable of gaining these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? What you pursue is to be able to gain peace after believing in God, for your children to be free from illness, for your husband to have a good job, for your son to find a good wife, for your daughter to find a decent husband, for your oxen and horses to plow the land well, for a year of good weather for your crops. This is what you seek. Your pursuit is only to live in comfort, for no accidents to befall your family, for the winds to pass you by, for your face to be untouched by grit, for your family’s crops to not be flooded, for you to be unaffected by any disaster, to live in God’s embrace, to live in a cozy nest. A coward such as you, who always pursues the flesh—do you have a heart, do you have a spirit? Are you not a beast? I give you the true way without asking for anything in return, yet you do not pursue. Are you one of those who believe in God? I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). From God’s word, I understood that my constant pursuit of fleshly comfort was because I followed “Life is all about eating well and dressing nice,” “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,” “Treat yourself well,” “Drink today’s wine today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow,” “Life is short, so why make things hard for yourself?” and other such satanic philosophies, which regard physical comfort as the greatest pursuit in life. Under the control of these wrong views, I always pursued comfort, thinking that people should be good to themselves and not work too hard. Looking back, my parents spoiled me from a young age at home. They did everything for me so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, and I grew up like a flower in a greenhouse, under their careful protection. Since I was used to a comfortable life, I was always afraid of putting in effort and exhausting myself. When I was in college, I saw some classmates working hard and studying late to prepare for graduate school, but I was dismissive toward this. I thought, “Life is only a few decades. Why tire yourself out so badly? A bachelor’s degree is enough. Just find a job that isn’t too tiring and pays decently.” When I came to the church to do my duty, I still held this view. I always indulged in comfort, and I was unwilling to put in any effort or trouble myself. Whenever I encountered complex or difficult tasks, I’d push them onto others. I’d choose easy tasks and avoid hard ones, so I progressed very slowly. It was such a great honor that God’s house cultivated me to do a leadership duty, but I didn’t cherish this and always heeded my flesh. When I saw brothers and sisters feeling negative, and the effectiveness of the work declining, I didn’t care, and I even passed difficult tasks onto others. I wasn’t fulfilling my responsibilities at all. I was so selfish and despicable! I always indulged in comfort, chose easy duties over hard ones, and was slippery and deceitful. Even though I didn’t put in any effort, I didn’t make any progress either. I found it harder and harder to see problems clearly, and couldn’t even handle what I used to do well. Just like the Lord Jesus said: “Whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has” (Matthew 13:12). I thought of how God hopes adults can take on responsibility, focus on proper things, and do their proper duties, but my heart was only focused on physical comfort. I valued physical ease above all else, becoming more and more decadent and degenerate, losing more of my human likeness by the day. I couldn’t continue down this wrong path. I had to seek the truth to resolve my corrupt disposition and do my duty properly.

I then read more of God’s words: “What is the value of a person’s life? Is it merely for the sake of indulging in fleshly pleasures such as eating, drinking, and being entertained? (No, it is not.) Then what is it? Please share your thoughts. (To fulfill the duty of a created being, this at least is what a person should achieve in their life.) That is correct. … In one respect, it is about fulfilling the duty of a created being. In another, it is about doing everything within your ability and capacity to the best that you can, at least reaching a point where your conscience does not accuse you, where you can be at peace with your own conscience and be proven acceptable in the eyes of others. Taking it a step further, throughout your life, regardless of the family you were born into, your educational background, or your caliber, you must have some understanding of the principles that people ought to comprehend in life. For example, what kind of path people should walk, how they should live, and how to live a meaningful life—you should at least explore a bit of the true value of life. This life cannot be lived in vain, and one cannot come to this earth in vain. In another respect, during your lifetime, you must fulfill your mission; this is the most important. We’re not talking about completing a great mission, duty, or responsibility; but at the very least, you should accomplish something” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (6)). From God’s words, I came to understand, that the value of life is not in eating, drinking, having fun and indulging in the flesh, but in fulfilling the duty of a created being and gaining God’s approval. God ordained for me to be born in the last days, to hear His voice, and to do my duty, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. God doesn’t want me to indulge in comfort and lead a life of mediocrity, wasting my life. God hopes I can pursue the truth and do my duty well, so that I can achieve a change in disposition, be saved by God, and live out a true human likeness. Thinking of how I tended not to focus on life entry, only skimmed through God’s words, my life experience was shallow, and my understanding of the truth was limited. I couldn’t see clearly the states and difficulties of my brothers and sisters, which showed that I didn’t understand the truth of this aspect. This was the time when I needed to seek and equip myself with the truth, and if I could develop a real sense of burden to seek the truth and find God’s words, I would understand more truth and grow in life more quickly. But I had missed so many opportunities to gain the truth just for the sake of temporary comfort and enjoyment, hindering my life entry. I had left so many regrets in my duty. I had been truly foolish and stupid! Now I finally realized, that no matter how much physical comfort I might enjoy, it would be only temporary and have no real value, and that if I didn’t seek the truth properly, was always perfunctory in my duty, and kept trying to deceive God, I’d just end up being revealed and eliminated, and that would result in eternal punishment, and by then, no amount of regret, weeping, or gnashing of teeth would help.

Later, during my devotionals, I focused on reading God’s words related to resolving my desire for indulging in comfort, and I recorded my understandings. Two months later, the supervisor arranged for me to do my duty again, and I was very grateful. When I found out I was tasked with supervising a church, I was stunned. This church had many newcomers and many issues and solving these problems would take a lot of effort. But then I thought of how, in the past, I always tried to avoid worries and pushed problems onto others. Now, being assigned to supervise this church was God giving me a chance, allowing me to train to fellowship the truth and solve problems. This was all to make up for my shortcomings, and it was beneficial for my life entry. So, I took on the task. At first, I could cooperate actively, but after a few rounds of fellowship, when the results weren’t obvious, I became discouraged. I felt this was all too difficult and stressful. When I thought this way, I realized I was just considering my own physical interests again, so I ate and drank God’s words related to my state. There was a passage of God’s words that really moved me. God says: “People who truly believe in God perform their duties willingly, without calculating their own gains and losses. No matter whether you are someone who pursues the truth, you must rely on your conscience and reason and really make an effort when you perform your duty. What does it mean to really make an effort? If you are merely satisfied with making some token effort, and suffering a little physical hardship, but you do not take your duty seriously at all or seek the truth principles, then this is nothing more than being perfunctory—it is not really making an effort. The key to making an effort is putting your heart into it, fearing God in your heart, being considerate of God’s intentions, being terrified of rebelling against God and hurting God, and suffering any hardship in order to perform your duty well and satisfy God: If you have a God-loving heart in this way, you will be able to perform your duty properly. If there is no fear of God in your heart, you will have no burden when you perform your duty, will have no interest in it, and will inevitably be perfunctory, and go through the motions, without producing any real effect—which is not performing a duty. If you truly have a sense of burden, and feel like performing your duty is your personal responsibility, and that if you don’t, you are not fit to live, and are a beast, that only if you perform your duty properly are you worthy of being called a human being, and can face your own conscience—if you have this sense of burden when you perform your duty—then you will be able to do everything conscientiously, and will be able to seek the truth and do things according to the principles, and so will be able to do your duty properly and satisfy God. If you are worthy of the mission that God has given you, and of all that God has sacrificed for you and His expectations of you, then this is really making an effort” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). From God’s words, I came to understand that those who willingly and faithfully do their duties are the true people of God’s house. They don’t consider their personal physical interests, and they pay a real price, putting in their utmost efforts. Such people are responsible and trustworthy, and they are people of conscience and reason. Although they may endure some physical suffering, they can satisfy God, achieve inner peace, and live a meaningful life. In contrast, when the work was difficult and the results weren’t good, I felt that the work was too hard and stressful, so I would start thinking about my own comfort and want to shrink back. When I used to indulge in comfort, avoid hard duties in favor of easy ones, and act cunningly, although my body didn’t suffer, my heart was in darkness. I couldn’t feel God’s presence, and I had no peace or joy. I didn’t want to end up like that again. I had to treat my duty with an honest heart, and no matter how much I could cooperate, I had to do my best and fulfill my responsibilities. So, I sought the truth and fellowshipped to address the viewpoints and difficulties of my brothers and sisters. After a while, there was some progress in the work, and I thanked God from the bottom of my heart. Later, when I encountered things, I consciously rebelled against my flesh. Although there was a lot of work to handle every day, and I had no free time, I didn’t find myself feeling worn out. In practicing in this way, I felt ever closer to God, and I found some new ways to cooperate in my duty. I found peace and ease in my heart by acting according to God’s words.

Well, I’ll stop here for now. Have you gained a lot this year too? Feel free to write to me and share your gains and understandings.

Yours sincerely,

Bai Lu

October 15, 2023