By Ye Qiu, China

My uncle is a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine. When I was ten years old, I had an accident and couldn’t stop throwing up blood, and it was my uncle who saved me at the critical moment. I had always remembered this life-saving kindness, and I thought that I had to repay my uncle properly once I grew up. In 2008, my dad passed away due to illness. When our whole family was in deep sorrow, my uncle spread Almighty God’s gospel of the last days to us. This not only gave us something to rely on, but also a chance to pursue the truth and attain salvation, making me even more grateful to my uncle. Because of my father’s death, it was hard for my mother to afford the education expenses for us three kids. My uncle then took me into his home, where I could believe in God while also studying medicine with him. I lived and ate at his place. My health was not very good, and my uncle often prepared nutritious foods for me. He treated me like his own daughter, so I was full of gratitude toward him and thought that if he had any difficulties in the future, as long as it was something I was able to help him with, I’d do everything I could to do it.

In 2011, the church determined my uncle to be an evil person. He was arrogant, conceited, caused unreasonable trouble, and didn’t accept the truth at all. He tormented those who gave him suggestions and often judged, attacked, and condemned leaders and workers. He provoked conflicts between the brothers and sisters and the leaders, which caused severe disturbances to the church life and work. The brothers and sisters were so suppressed by him that they dared not interact with him, and he refused to repent despite repeated fellowshipping. The church decided to expel him. At that time, the leader asked whether I agreed to sign my name, and I was really conflicted. My uncle’s behavior was very obvious; even I had been driven to tears by his contempt and attacks. But I thought, “If I sign my name and he finds out, what will he think of me? My uncle saved my life when I was little, spread the gospel to us, and taught me about medicine. He is good to me in so many ways, and if I sign, won’t he say that I am heartless and ungrateful?” At the time, however, the leader read a passage of God’s words that really touched me. God says: “By what principle do God’s words ask that people treat others? Love what God loves, and hate what God hates: This is the principle that should be adhered to. God loves those who pursue the truth and are able to follow His will; these are also the people that we should love. Those who are not able to follow God’s will, who hate and rebel against God—these people are detested by God, and we should detest them, too. This is what God asks of man. … During the Age of Grace, the Lord Jesus said, ‘Who is My mother? And who are My brothers?’ ‘For whoever shall follow the will of My Father which is in heaven, the same is My brother, and sister, and mother.’ These words already existed back in the Age of Grace, and now God’s words are even more clear: ‘Love what God loves, and hate what God hates.’ These words cut straight to the point, yet people are often unable to grasp their true meaning” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Recognizing One’s Own Misguided Views Can One Truly Transform). Reading God’s words, I felt somewhat guilty. My uncle had clearly behaved like an evil person, but I still didn’t want to sign my name. Wasn’t I tolerating his continued disruptions and disturbances in the church? I should not act based on affection, but rather practice according to God’s words, “Love what God loves, and hate what God hates.” Then, I signed my name.

In 2012, the decision of my uncle’s expulsion arrived, and I was always afraid to face him. Later, when my uncle found out I had signed, he scolded me for lacking discernment and called me a dimwit! Hearing him say that, I knew that he had not reflected on or understood his evil deeds at all, but I still wondered whether I had been too heartless and ungrateful toward him in signing my name. Later on, due to the needs of my duty, I left my uncle’s home. Although I didn’t have to face my uncle anymore, his scolding words still lingered in my mind. In particular, later, something happened that made me feel even more indebted to my uncle, and I ended up doing something that resisted God.

Near the end of 2016, I was away from home doing my duty and was sent to the hospital by brothers and sisters due to severe pneumonia and pleural effusion. My uncle rushed to the hospital and cared for me tirelessly, spending both money and effort. My blood pressure was dangerously low, and he treated me with acupressure. After I was discharged, he even prepared traditional Chinese medicine to help me recuperate. Seeing that he was still good to me despite my having signed for his expulsion, the guilt I felt toward him grew stronger. During this time, my uncle told me how he had continued to spread the gospel over the past few years even after being expelled, bringing several people to God. He had even been arrested by the CCP due to spreading the gospel, also having his house searched, possessions confiscated, and his pharmacy shut down. He lost over 100,000 yuan. Despite the great red dragon’s persecution, he didn’t disclose where books of God’s words were kept. However, when the CCP asked him to identify photos of the brothers and sisters, he acknowledged that one of the sisters was a leader. This was the leader who’d had him expelled a few years ago. After telling me all this, he reproached me for having no conscience, saying that he saw me as a daughter and cared for me like a father, but that I, in turn, had shown no human feelings and acted like a cold-blooded animal. Hearing him talk about these things, I felt indebted to him and also sympathized with him. Around that time, I happened to hear the upper-level leaders say that if those who’d been cleared out showed repentance and continued to believe in God and spread the gospel, they could be accepted back into the church. This made me think of my uncle. I thought that even though he’d been expelled, he had been spreading the gospel these past few years. When arrested and interrogated by the CCP, he still hadn’t denied God. Wasn’t it then possible for my uncle to be accepted back into the church? Even if he just spread the gospel and labored to make up for past wrongdoings, that’d be fine. After that, if others fellowshipped on God’s words with him more, couldn’t he gradually begin to reflect on the evil he’d done and achieve repentance and change? If I could get him accepted back into the church, wouldn’t he see that I had a bit of conscience and was not such an ungrateful person? When this thought crossed my mind, I felt as though I’d found a chance to make amends and repay his kindness. So I wrote to the leader, reporting about good behaviors of my uncle. But as for his identifying the church leader’s photo to the great red dragon, and his complaining in front of me and lecturing me, I skipped all that. Later, the leaders arranged for someone to go meet him to see if he met the criteria for being accepted. A few days later, a sister told me, “When we went to your uncle and asked him how he had self-reflected and tried to know himself, he got exasperated and said, ‘You are not here to investigate the facts at all. You and the leaders are just covering for each other; you’re all in on this together. …’ He looked like he was about to hit us, and it was your aunt who kept talking him out of it and holding him back. Then, he started waving his hands and ranting loudly about the past, picking faults and refusing to let go, attacking and judging the leaders. We’ve seen that he has no self-understanding at all and is not fit to be accepted.” Then the sister also fellowshipped with me about discerning and seeing through to my uncle’s essence, and asked me how I understood the matter. Faced with my uncle’s behavior, there was nothing I could say; he indeed was not fit to be accepted.

Later, I looked for God’s words that were relevant to my issues. I read these words of God: “All who have been corrupted by Satan have corrupt dispositions. Some have nothing more than corrupt dispositions, while others are different: Not only do they have corrupt satanic dispositions, but their nature is also extremely malicious. Not only do their words and actions reveal their corrupt, satanic dispositions; these people are, moreover, the genuine devils and Satans” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth). “Who is Satan, who are demons, and who are God’s enemies if not resisters who do not believe in God? Are they not those people who are rebellious against God? Are they not those who claim to have faith, yet who lack truth? Are they not those who merely seek to obtain blessings while being unable to bear witness for God? You still mingle with those demons today and treat them with conscience and love, but in this case are you not extending good intentions toward Satan? Are you not in league with demons? If people have made it to this point and are still unable to distinguish between good and evil, and continue to blindly be loving and merciful without any desire to seek God’s intentions or being able in any way to take God’s intentions as their own, then their endings will be all the more wretched. Anyone who does not believe in the God in the flesh is an enemy of God. If you can bear conscience and love toward an enemy, do you not lack a sense of justice? If you are compatible with those which I detest and with which I disagree, and still bear love or personal feelings toward them, then are you not rebellious? Are you not intentionally resisting God? Does such a person possess truth? If people bear conscience toward enemies, love for demons, and mercy for Satan, then are they not intentionally disrupting God’s work?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). God’s words made me feel deeply judged. My uncle had already been expelled for several years. If he’d had a bit of conscience or reason, after doing so many things that harmed people, disrupted and disturbed church life, and resisted God, he would have had a guilty conscience. He would have self-reflected, felt regretful, and repented. In particular, the brothers and sisters and I had fellowshipped with him and pointed out his issues during this time, but he still had no self-understanding whatsoever, even hating me for the past few years and hating the leader even more. He believed that his expulsion was solely caused by others, harboring resentment toward the leader who expelled him and even identifying her photo for the great red dragon. Afterward, he continued to spread his prejudices against the leader, condemning her as a false leader and antichrist. It was clear that he had the essence of an evil person, that his nature was averse to and hated the truth, and that he would never repent and change. Faced with such a thoroughly evil person, I kept emphasizing having a conscience and repaying his kindness, even defending him and speaking well of him, hoping he would be accepted back to the church. I was truly blind and foolish, unable to distinguish good from evil. Wasn’t I trying to curry favor with Satan, standing on the side of evil people and resisting God?

Later, I read a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of God’s righteous disposition. I then felt even more strongly that my uncle should not be accepted back into the church. God says: “I do not care how meritorious your hard work is, how impressive your qualifications, how closely you follow Me, how renowned you are, or how much you have improved your attitude; as long as you have not met My demands, you will never be able to win My praise. Write off all those ideas and calculations of yours as soon as possible, and start treating My requirements seriously; otherwise, I will turn everyone to ash in order to bring an end to My work and, at worst turn My years of work and suffering into nothing, for I cannot bring My enemies and those people who reek of evil and have Satan’s appearance into My kingdom or take them into the next age” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Transgressions Will Lead Man to Hell). After reading God’s words, I could sense God’s holy, righteous, and unoffendable disposition, and also understood the principles God has for treating people. When I heard the upper-level leaders say that if those who’d been cleared out continued to believe in God, kept spreading the gospel, and showed repentance, they could be accepted back into the church, I compared this to my uncle’s outward behavior. I thought that he’d continued spreading the gospel after being expelled and hadn’t denied God under the arrest and persecution of the great red dragon, and thus I thought that he could still be accepted despite his lacking self-reflection and understanding. After reading God’s words, I came to realize that God has standards for measuring people, and the church has principles for accepting people as well. Especially for those who were expelled in the past for doing evil, it’s crucial to evaluate whether they have truly understood their evil deeds and repented and changed. If they haven’t, they can never be accepted back into the church. After my uncle was expelled, although he continued spreading the gospel, showing some good behaviors, he had not reflected on or understood his past evil deeds or corrupt nature in the slightest. No matter how others fellowshipped with him and pointed out his issues or pruned and exposed him, he came to no realizations whatsoever, even being hostile toward anyone who urged him to self-reflect, spreading prejudices against the leaders, misleading people, and disrupting and disturbing church life. Regarding such an obvious evildoer and devil, God says: “For I cannot bring My enemies and those people who reek of evil and have Satan’s appearance into My kingdom or take them into the next age.” But I still spoke up for him, wanting him to be accepted back into the church. Wasn’t I opposing God? Realizing this, I felt even more that I didn’t understand the truth and was extremely ignorant and foolish!

Later on, since I still needed to recuperate from my illness, I would frequently interact with my uncle. His behavior became even worse; not only did he judge the leaders, he also spoke arrogantly and judged the man used by the Holy Spirit. This made me see even more clearly his essence of hating the truth and being an enemy of God. I also felt guilty and remorseful for having once spoken up for him. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why have I always wanted to repay such an out-and-out evil person for his kindness?” I was never able to find the reason until I read a passage of God’s words later on and found the root cause of the problem. Almighty God says: “Statements on moral conduct like ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’ do not tell people exactly what their responsibilities are within society and among mankind. Instead, they are a way of binding or forcing people to act and think in a certain way, regardless of whether they want to or not, and no matter the circumstances or context in which these acts of kindness befall them. There are plenty of examples from ancient China of kindness being repaid. For example, a starving beggar boy got taken in by a family who fed him, clothed him, trained him in martial arts, and taught him all kinds of knowledge. They waited until he had grown up, and then started using him as a source of income, sending him out to do evil, to kill people, to do things that he didn’t want to do. If you look at his story in light of all the favors he received, then him being saved was a good thing. But if you consider what he was forced to do later, was it really good or bad? (It was bad.) But under the conditioning of traditional culture like ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid,’ people cannot make this distinction. On the surface, it appears that the boy had no choice but to do evil things and hurt people, to become a killer—things that most people would not wish to do. But didn’t the fact that he did these bad things and killed at the behest of his master come, deep down, from a desire to repay him for his kindness? Particularly due to the conditioning of Chinese traditional culture such as ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid,’ people can’t help but be influenced and controlled by these ideas. The way that they act, and the intentions and motivations behind these actions are certainly constrained by them. When the boy was put in that situation, what would his first thought have been? ‘I was saved by this family, and they have been good to me. I can’t be ungrateful, I must repay their kindness. I owe my life to them, so I must devote it to them. I should do whatever they ask of me, even if that means doing evil and killing people. I cannot consider whether it is right or wrong, I must simply repay their kindness. Would I still be worthy of being called human if I didn’t?’ As a result, whenever the family wanted him to murder someone or do something bad, he did it without any hesitation or reservations. So weren’t his conduct, actions, and unquestioning obedience all dictated by the idea and view that ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’? Wasn’t he fulfilling that criterion of moral conduct? (Yes.) What do you see from this example? Is the saying ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’ a good thing, or not? (It’s not, there is no principle to it.) Actually, a person who repays a kindness does have a principle. Namely, that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid. If someone does you a kindness, you must do one in return. If you fail to do so, then you are not human and there is nothing that you can say if you are condemned for it. The saying goes: ‘The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid with a gushing spring,’ but in this case, the boy received not a small act of kindness but a life-saving kindness, so he had all the more reason to repay it with a life in return. He did not know what the limits or principles of repaying kindness were. He believed that his life had been given to him by that family, so he had to devote it to them in return, and do whatever they demanded of him, including murder or other acts of evil. This way of repaying kindness has no principles or limits. He served as an accomplice to evildoers and ruined himself in the process. Was it right for him to repay kindness in this way? Of course not. It was a foolish way of doing things” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, I recognized that I had always felt indebted and guilty toward my uncle and wanted to make amends and repay him for his kindness. This was mainly because I’d been bound and constrained by the moral thinking of “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid,” and “The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid with a gushing spring.” I believed that if someone had lent me a helping hand when I needed it most or saved my life in a time of crisis, I had to remember this kindness forever and repay it properly in the future. Only by doing this would I have a conscience and humanity. If I didn’t know to repay kindness, I was someone who was ungrateful and had no humanity, and I would be spurned and called an ungrateful wretch. Take my mom, for instance. She has four siblings, and in the past her family struggled financially. To support my eldest uncle’s studies, my youngest uncle and my mother gave up their chances for further education. Eventually, my eldest uncle secured a stable job, and the family had initially expected that he would help support his siblings. However, not only did he fail to help his siblings, he also didn’t even support his own mother. All our relatives and friends called him ungrateful, and he became someone that everyone spurned. Meanwhile, my youngest uncle expended the most for his siblings and parents. When my eldest uncle didn’t support my grandma, he took on the responsibility himself, and thus, he was the most praiseworthy and respectable in everyone’s eyes. Growing up in such an environment, I felt that I must become a person with a conscience in the future, someone who knew to repay kindness. It was the influence of such thinking that made me unable to, when matters befell me, discern right from wrong or discern what kind of person I was repaying, and I didn’t care whether my actions were in line with the truth principles. As long as someone had shown me kindness, I felt the urge to remember and repay it. Just like with my uncle, when it was time for me to sign my name to expel him, because he had saved my life, spread God’s gospel of the last days to us, and treated me like his own child, this kindness made it hard for me to sign. I was afraid that doing so would make me an ungrateful person who had no conscience. Although I eventually signed, my conscience couldn’t get over it, and I felt indebted to him. Also, when I was sick while doing my duty away from home, my uncle rushed about and put lots of money and effort into taking care of me, which made me feel even more guilty. So, after I heard the upper-level leaders fellowship on the principles of accepting people, I wanted to seize this opportunity to repay my uncle. As a consequence, although it was clear that my uncle hadn’t reflected on or come to understand the evil he’d done in the past few years, and even harbored resentment over his expulsion and identified the church leader who expelled him to the great red dragon, because I was controlled by the thinking of “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid,” I spoke well of him in front of the leaders, covering up and concealing his bad behavior in the hopes that he would be accepted back into the church, allowing me to repay my debt. I realized the traditional thinking of “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid” was constraining me, making me unable to distinguish good from evil, right from wrong. It made me act without any principles or moral bottom line. Now, it was the time of purifying the church and cleansing away evil people, antichrists and disbelievers. If I still focused on having a conscience and repaying evil people’s kindness, wanting to accept them back into the church, was I not being an accomplice to evildoers and causing disruptions and disturbances? How was my behavior any different from the beggar committing murder to repay kindness? Understanding this, I saw clearly the fallacy and poison of the traditional moral thinking of “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid.” It is an absolutely misleading and corrupting fallacy.

Afterward, I read more of God’s words. “The traditional cultural concept that ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’ needs to be discerned. The most important part is the word ‘kindness’—how should you view this kindness? What aspect and nature of kindness is it referring to? What is the significance of ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’? People must figure out the answers to these questions and under no circumstances be constrained by this idea of repaying kindness—for anyone who pursues the truth, this is absolutely essential. What is ‘kindness’ according to human notions? On a smaller level, kindness is someone helping you out when you are in trouble. For example, somebody giving you a bowl of rice when you are starving, or a bottle of water when you’re dying of thirst, or helping you up when you fall down and can’t get up. These are all acts of kindness. A great act of kindness is someone rescuing you when you’re in desperate straits—that is a life-saving kindness. When you are in mortal danger and someone helps you to avoid death, they are essentially saving your life. These are some of the things that people perceive as ‘kindness.’ This sort of kindness far surpasses any petty, material favor—it is a great kindness that cannot be measured in terms of money or material things. Those who receive it feel a kind of gratitude that is impossible to express with just a few words of thanks. Is it accurate, though, for people to measure kindness in this way? (It is not.) Why do you say that it is not accurate? (Because this measurement is based on the standards of traditional culture.) This is an answer based in theory and doctrine, and while it may seem right, it does not get to the essence of the matter. So, how can one explain this in practical terms? Think about it carefully. A while ago, I heard about a video online in which a man drops his wallet without realizing it. The wallet gets picked up by a small dog who chases after him, and when the man sees this, he beats the dog for stealing his wallet. Absurd, isn’t it? The man has less morals than the dog! The dog’s actions were in complete accordance with human standards of morality. A human would have called out ‘You dropped your wallet!’ But because the dog couldn’t speak, it just silently picked up the wallet and trotted after the man. So, if a dog can carry out some of the good behaviors encouraged by traditional culture, what does that say about humans? Humans are born with conscience and reason, so they’re all the more capable of doing these things. As long as someone has the sense of their conscience, they can fulfill these kinds of responsibilities and obligations. It is not necessary to put in hard work or pay a price, it requires little effort and is simply a matter of doing something helpful, something of benefit to others. But does the nature of this act really qualify as ‘kindness’? Does it rise to the level of an act of kindness? (It doesn’t.) Since it does not, do people need to talk of repaying it? That would be unnecessary” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). “If God wants to save you, no matter whose services He uses to accomplish it, you should first thank God and accept it from God. You should not direct your gratitude solely toward people, to say nothing of offering up your life to someone in gratitude. This is a grave mistake. The crucial thing is that your heart is grateful to God, and you accept it from Him” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, I gained a new understanding and definition of the “kindness” referred to in the phrase “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid.” I used to think that if someone had extended a helping hand to me or even saved my life when I faced difficulties or dangers or when my life was at risk, it was a great kindness that I should remember and repay in the future. Now, through God’s words, I realized that all this couldn’t be called kindness; it was simply people’s instincts, what anyone with a conscience could do. Regarding my uncle, as a doctor, to save my life when he saw that I was in danger was quite normal and was his responsibility. Furthermore, this breath of mine comes from God, and my life and death are under God’s sovereignty. I’m not just alive because my uncle saved me. When, after my father died, my mother struggled to cover the high cost of having multiple children, my uncle had me learn medicine with him and let me eat and live at his place, and seeing that my health was poor, he gave me nutritious foods. He also took care of me several years later when I was hospitalized. All of this was God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and I should accept them from God. Also, my uncle spread God’s gospel of the last days to us, which was God’s sovereignty and arrangement as well. The One I should thank was God! Understanding this, I was finally relieved of the guilt I felt toward my uncle.

Through this experience, I have come to see clearly the fallacy of the traditional moral thinking of “A kindness received should be gratefully repaid” and how it binds and harms people. Without this, I would have continued repaying kindness indiscriminately without principles or a moral bottom line, even resisting God without realizing it. It was God’s words that made me come to this realization. Thank God!