By Li Fang, China

One day in July of 2023, after I returned from a gathering, a sister rushed over to me and told me that a general affairs deacon named Qiu Ling and a church leader had been arrested. She also urged me to be extremely careful whenever I went out for gatherings. I was quite startled and thought, “I gather with Qiu Ling all the time and often go to her home. Have the police already taken notice of me? Two years ago, I was reported for believing in God and the police took a video of me at the time. If I’m arrested again, that will be a repeat offense, and if they don’t kill me, they’ll be sure to leave me badly injured.” Not soon after that, another church leader came and said she would be handling the aftermath. She asked me to water and support the newcomers so that they would be able to stand firm in the face of persecution and hardship. When she gave me that assignment, I felt a sudden sense of panic and thought, “With things as dangerous as they are, isn’t she sending me into the line of fire?” Images of the brothers and sisters suffering all manner of torture played one after the other in my mind. I began to worry, thinking, “The police have a video of me. As soon as they get a hold of me, they certainly won’t take it easy on me. If I can’t take the torture and become a Judas, not only will I not attain salvation, I will also descend to hell to be punished. Everything I’ve done in my faith these years, forsaking family, abandoning my career, expending myself, undergoing suffering, paying a price—won’t it all have been in vain?” Realizing all this, I just wanted to hide away in my host house and refrain from going out. It seemed to me that this would be a safer way to go about things. However, I then realized that this way of thinking was wrong: Wouldn’t it be selfish of me to be timid, fearful and only protect my own interests at such a critical moment? The leader was risking danger to handle the aftermath—if she were like me, shrinking back at the slightest sign of danger, who would handle the aftermath? Realizing this, despite feeling timid and afraid, I still accepted the assignment.

Around noon of the next day, I heard that a host sister and her younger sister were arrested by the police. I thought to myself, “I was just in a gathering with them not too long ago and now they’ve been arrested. If I go out, won’t I be arrested too?” I felt very conflicted: If I went out, I could be arrested, but if I stayed in, the other brothers and sisters wouldn’t hear about the arrests of these two sisters. If I didn’t let them know right away, they would also be in danger of being arrested. Realizing this, I decided to go inform them of what had happened, ask them to temporarily suspend gatherings and hide all their books of God’s words. After I got back, I thought, “I absolutely cannot go out again. It’s just too dangerous!” To my surprise, that day around early evening, Brother Wang Bin came to me and told me that the leaders had originally arranged a gathering at his house to go over work, but his wife was just arrested and he escaped by jumping over a wall. Brother Wang said that we had to inform the leaders not to go to his house right away. I felt even more afraid and panicked and my legs went limp. I thought, “If the police have been following and monitoring you, as soon as I go out, they’ll be sure to arrest me! Those police are extremely vicious and cruel to God’s chosen people and I’m being targeted by them for arrest. If they arrest me and beat me to death, I’ll never get to see my husband and child again!” But besides Wang Bin, who had just escaped by the skin of his teeth from the police, the only other person available was an elderly sister. That sister was nearly 80 years old and wasn’t particularly mobile. What’s more, it was already dark out, so it was up to me to pass the letter to the leaders. I hurriedly prayed to God and then recalled a passage of God’s words I had read: “People’s disloyalty is manifested in how they always protect themselves, retreating like a turtle into its shell whenever they face anything, and waiting until it passes before sticking their heads back out again. No matter what they meet with, they are always walking on eggshells, have a lot of anxiety, worry, and apprehension, and are unable to stand and defend the work of the church. What is the problem here? Isn’t it a lack of faith? You have no real faith in God, you do not believe that God is sovereign over all things, and you do not believe that your life, your everything is in God’s hands. You do not believe what God says, ‘Without God’s permission, Satan does not dare to move a single hair on your body.’ You rely on your own eyes and judge the facts, you judge things based on your own calculations, always protecting yourself. … Why is there no real faith in God? Is it because people’s experiences are too shallow and they cannot see through these things, or is it because they understand too little of the truth? What is the reason? Does it have something to do with people’s corrupt dispositions? Is it because people are too cunning? (Yes.) No matter how many things they experience, no matter how many facts are placed in front of them, they don’t believe that this is the work of God, or that a person’s fate is in God’s hands. This is one aspect. Another mortal issue is that people care too much about themselves. They are not willing to pay any price or make any sacrifice for God, for His work, for the interests of God’s house, for His name, or for His glory. They are not willing to do anything that involves even the slightest danger. People care too much about themselves! Because of their fear of death, of humiliation, of being trapped by evil people, and of falling into any kind of predicament, people go to great lengths to preserve their own flesh, striving not to let themselves enter any dangerous situations. In one respect, this behavior shows that people are all too cunning, while in another, it reveals their self-preservation and selfishness” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (19)). The judgment and exposure of God’s words cut to the quick. I felt so ashamed: I was acting in just the way that God described. When there was no danger and everything was going smoothly, I would always say that God holds sovereignty over all things, is in control of everything, man’s fate is in God’s hands, and no matter how difficult the situation, we should do our duty properly and stand firm in witness to God. Now I saw that I was just reciting slogans and that fulfilling my duty and satisfying God were just aspirations of mine. The leaders were in danger of being arrested and Wang Bin asked me to deliver a letter to them—anyone with the slightest bit of humanity would consider the church’s interests and send the letter right away, but I was selfish and deceitful and only considered my own safety. I didn’t want to go because I feared that if I sent the letter, I would be followed and arrested and I worried that if I were arrested, I would be tortured. I saw that I was really selfish and deceitful. In this dangerous moment, I didn’t give the slightest thought to the interests of God’s house or the safety of my brothers and sisters. I clung to life and feared death, and was just doing whatever I needed to survive. I didn’t deserve to be a believer! Realizing this, I stopped hesitating and immediately delivered the letter to the leaders on my scooter. After receiving the letter, the leaders didn’t go to Wang Bin’s house.

The police continued to make arrests and brothers and sisters were apprehended one after another. Most of the brothers and sisters in the church temporarily suspended gathering, but there were still a few newcomers who needed my watering and support. I felt a bit conflicted: With all the arrests being made, the newcomers might be unable to comprehend God’s intentions due to being unable to attend gatherings and might leave the church at any time. But I heard that the police were forcing brothers and sisters who had been arrested to identify brothers and sisters in pictures. They would let anyone go that identified three brothers and sisters. If someone sold me out, I would be in a very dangerous situation. I became a bit timid when I realized this. I then recalled God’s words which say: “What people can achieve, they should do their utmost to accomplish; the rest is up to God to do, to exercise His sovereignty over and orchestrate, and to guide. This is what we worry about the least. We have God behind us. Not only do we have God in our hearts, but we also have genuine faith. This is not a spiritual support; in fact, God is in the dark, and He is at people’s side, always present with them. Whenever people do anything or do any duty, He is watching; He is there to help you at any time and place, keeping and protecting you. What people should do is to do their utmost to accomplish what they should. As long as you become aware, feel in your heart, see in God’s words, are reminded by people around you, or are given any signal or omen by God that provides you with information—that this is something you should do, that this is God’s commission to you—then you should fulfill your responsibility and not sit by idly or watch from the sidelines” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (21)). God’s words comforted and motivated me. I felt a sense of faith and knew that this dangerous situation was God’s way of testing me. God was scrutinizing my every word and action, and no matter how much I suffered, I had to remain loyal and not be obstructed by any person, event or thing. God was my rock, and no matter how dangerous the environment in the outside world might have been, or how evil and maniacal the great red dragon was, they were all in God’s hands and subject to His orchestrations and sovereignty. The more crucial and dire the situation, the more I must do my duty properly, stand firm in witness to God and humiliate Satan. Having realized this, I put on a disguise and went out right away to water the newcomers.

After that, a string of over ten arrests of brothers and sisters from the church were made and there were no longer any safe host homes for me to reside in. As I walked along the street, I felt pangs of sadness and tears came streaming from my eyes. I thought, “When will this itinerant, peripatetic existence finally come to an end? Some of my brothers and sisters have been arrested, while some have been sold out. No host home is safe now, so where can I go?” I quietly prayed to God and asked Him to open up a way for me. Later on, I recalled this passage of His words: “You must remember at all times that God is with people, and they need only pray and seek from Him if they have any difficulties, and that with God, nothing is hard. You must have this faith. Since you believe that God is the Sovereign of all things, why do you still feel afraid when something befalls you, and that you have nothing to rely on? This proves that you do not rely on God. If you do not take Him as your support and as your God, then He is not your God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words reminded me that God rules sovereignty over all things and as long as we truly rely on God, He will lead us. Realizing this, I regained some faith. I kept thinking as I walked and suddenly recalled that an old sister’s home was still relatively safe and immediately headed there. The sister accepted me unhesitatingly. It was then that I truly got a sense of how God is man’s unwavering support and it is up to man to rely upon God to face hardship as it arises.

One day, after watering newcomers, I went to a previous host house to ask some questions. To my surprise, the host sister told me that her house had just been searched and I should leave right away. I hurriedly made off down a small alley. I was worried that I was being followed and my heart was racing. I thought, “The police already have my information. If I fall into their hands this time, they’ll certainly beat me to death!” The more I thought, the more frightened I became, and my heart was in my throat. I continually prayed to God, “Oh God! If I fall into the police’s hands this time, it will be with Your permission. I am willing to submit. Please just give me faith and strength and the will to endure suffering so that I can stand firm in witness to You and humiliate Satan.” After prayer, I recalled these words of God: “The matter of death has the same nature as other matters. It is not up to people to choose for themselves, much less can it be changed by the will of man. Death is the same as any other important event in life: It is entirely under the predestination and sovereignty of the Creator. If someone were to beg for death, they may not necessarily die; if they were to beg to live, they may not necessarily live. All this is under the sovereignty and predestination of God, and it is changed and decided by the authority of God, by God’s righteous disposition, and by God’s sovereignty and arrangements” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). “If all you do is shout slogans about what you want to do for God, how you want to fulfill your duty, and how much you want to expend and exert for God, it is useless. When reality hits home for you, when you are asked to sacrifice your life, whether you complain at the very last moment, whether you are willing, and whether you truly submit—this is the test of your stature. If at the moment that your life is about to be taken from you, you are at ease, willing, and submit without complaint, if you feel that you have fulfilled your responsibilities, obligations, and duties to the end, if your heart is joyful and at peace—if you go like this, then for God, you have not gone at all. Rather, you are living in another realm and in another form. You have done nothing but change your manner of living. In no way are you truly dead. As man sees it, ‘This person died at such a young age, how pitiful!’ But in the eyes of God, you have not died or gone to suffer. Instead, you have gone to enjoy blessings and come closer to God. Because, as a created being, you are already up to standard in the performance of your duty in God’s eyes, you have now completed your duty, God does not need you to perform this duty any longer among the ranks of created beings. To God, your ‘going’ is not called ‘going,’ you are ‘taken away,’ ‘brought away,’ or ‘led away,’ and it is a good thing” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). Pondering over God’s words I realized that man’s life and death are not up to them to choose. They will not necessarily die just because they want to or survive just because they want to go on living. All is under the sovereignty and predestination of God. I also realized that it makes God happy that created beings are able to spread the gospel of the Creator’s salvation of mankind and fulfill their responsibilities and complete their duties even in an adverse environment in which the great red dragon maniacally arrests Christians. I thought of how saints throughout the ages had sacrificed their precious lives to spread the gospel of the Lord. Some were stoned to death, some were dragged to death by horses—they met with all manner of horrific deaths. People may think their deaths were brutal and tragic, but God sees their deaths as meaningful and valuable. As for me, when faced with a dangerous situation, I was afraid of death, cherished my life and couldn’t understand what death was really about and what the meaning of death was. If I really did end up in the police’s hands one day, betrayed God and became a Judas due to my fear of death, I would be a sinner for all of time and my body, soul, and spirit would be subject to eternal punishment—that would be an actual death. No matter how vicious and evil the great red dragon could be, it can only ravage man’s flesh. If I really were arrested and beaten to death by the police, I would have endured persecution for righteousness’ sake. Though my flesh perished, my soul would still be in God’s hands. Realizing this, I didn’t feel so afraid of death.

I then recalled God’s words, which say: “In the period of the expansion of God’s management work, everyone who follows God is performing their own duty, and they all have undergone, time and again, the suppression and cruel persecution of the great red dragon. The path of following God is rough and uneven, and it is exceptionally difficult. Anyone who has followed God for more than two or three years will have experienced this for themselves. The duty performed by each person, whether it be a fixed duty or a temporary arrangement, comes from God’s sovereignty and arrangements. People may be arrested often, and the work of the church may be disturbed and spoiled, and there may be an evident shortage of people to perform duties, especially those with good caliber and professional expertise, who are in the minority, but because of God’s leadership, because of His might and authority, God’s house has already emerged from the most difficult times, and all of its work has gotten onto the right track. To man, this seems impossible, but nothing is difficult for God to accomplish” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). Pondering over God’s words, I felt extremely clear. No matter how difficult the circumstances, God always used His authority and power to lead people through them one step at a time. For example, when Moses led the exodus of Israelites, the Red Sea stood before them and an army of soldiers chased them from behind—people believed the Israelites faced certain death in their notions and imaginings—but God did not permit the soldiers to harm the Israelites. He bade Moses to point at the Red Sea with his cane and the waters parted, revealing a path of dry ground that allowed the Israelites to pass across the sea. When the soldiers attempted to cross the sea, the waters covered over the dry earth, drowning the entire army. This shows us God’s almightiness, wisdom and miraculous deeds. If I had gone to my sister’s house just half an hour earlier, I might have been arrested, but due to God’s miraculous protection, I remained safe and sound. Realizing all this, I made a resolution to God that if He permitted me to be apprehended by the police, I was willing to submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. If I were beaten to death, this would be undergoing persecution for righteousness’ sake and would be meaningful. Having comprehended all this, I felt quite at peace. After making sure that no one was following me, I hurriedly contacted brothers and sisters who were subjected to hidden danger and told them to hide.

Through this personal experience, I came to see that the CCP is a demon that ravages and harms mankind. It arrested brothers and sisters one by one and used all kinds of despicable tactics—threatening them, bribing them with promises, torturing and tormenting them—all to make them betray God and sell each other out. It is accursed and the very embodiment of evil! I hated it from the bottom of my heart and rejected and rebelled against it. What’s more, I felt even more resolute in my determination to follow God to the very end. Despite suffering a bit and dealing with fear and panic throughout this experience, going through this helped me recognize my selfish, despicable satanic nature and allowed me to witness God’s almightiness, sovereignty and miraculous deeds. This gave me more faith in God. This is an experience I will never forget and has provided me with precious life experience.