By Jianxin, China

Twenty years ago, I contracted severe rheumatoid arthritis and my whole body was in pain. I visited various major hospitals, but none of the treatments were effective. In the end, I just had to rely on hormonal drugs to control the symptoms, and without medication, all my joints would become stiff and painful. All I could do was lie in bed all day long, as if I were in a vegetative state, unable to move at all. I needed help from others to eat, dress, turn over, and use the bathroom. I was completely useless. I thought, “It would be better to die than to live in such pain.” Due to my long-term use of hormonal drugs, my immune system was very weak, I often had coughs and colds, and I also contracted pleurisy. My heart also developed problems, I had over ten different illnesses throughout my body, and my face looked like that of a dead person. In the heat of summer, my husband would turn on the air conditioner indoors, while I would wear cotton-padded clothes and bask in the sun outside. I even had to use an electric blanket to sleep, otherwise I would be too cold to fall asleep. Later, I heard that several acquaintances with the same disease as mine had all died, one after another, and I felt really scared. In the face of such a stubborn illness, I was helpless, and all I could do was pass each day in fear and anxiety.

In 2010, I was fortunate enough to accept Almighty God’s work of the last days. From God’s words, I learned that God created heaven and earth and all things, that He is sovereign over the fate of all mankind, that everything people enjoy is given by God, and that people should worship God. Every day, I ate and drank God’s words, prayed to God, and gathered with brothers and sisters, and without realizing it, my colds and coughs abated. After three months, the pain in my leg joints eased, I stopped using all medications, including hormonal drugs, my joints became more and more flexible, and I gained some color in my complexion. Everyone who knew me said I seemed like a different person. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart. God is truly almighty and wonderful! This had been an incurable disease and even with medication, I used to suffer so much, but now, with my illness subsiding more and more, I didn’t even need medication! I had to believe in God properly, preach the gospel more, and do more good deeds, and maybe then God would see how I expended myself and completely heal my illnesses. After that, I ignored the pain in my legs and preached the gospel to my relatives, friends, classmates, and colleagues. Regardless of wind or rain, scorching heat or freezing cold, or whether a person was near or far, so long as they met the principles for receiving the gospel and were willing to listen to God’s words, I went to testify to them about God’s work of the last days. Some people lived on the seventh or eighth floor, and I’d have to climb the stairs, but even so, I’d often go to water and support them. Some people had good humanity and were willing to seek and investigate the true way, but they had many family entanglements, so I went to fellowship with them multiple times until they accepted God’s work of the last days. At that time, I spread the gospel to many people. Over time, I became well-known for preaching the gospel and was reported by evil people, so the leader arranged for me to do hosting duty. I actively asked to take on some other duties, thinking that by me doing more good deeds God would look after and protect me, and that my hope of salvation would be greater.

In May 2019, I began to feel weak all over, and my joints started hurting again. The pain in the joints of my legs was especially severe, and my only option was to use crutches and grit my teeth to inch forward step by step. The pain made me sweat profusely. I couldn’t sit after standing, and after struggling to sit, I couldn’t get up. My whole body ached, even when lying down. My blood pressure exceeded 200 mmHg, and my blood sugar also increased, and even medication couldn’t get it under control. I was filled with panic. I was afraid that my arthritis was returning. After going to the hospital for an examination, it turned out that the symptoms were indeed caused by arthritis. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought, “As it’s been said, ‘Disease or not, if it comes back, it’ll be worse than when it started.’ Am I going to end up completely paralyzed this time? Even if I live, if I am left paralyzed in bed, I would still be useless. How would I do my duties? In all these years of believing in God, I have expended so much! Just look at how I’ve spread the gospel. I continued to cooperate despite the pain and managed to spread the gospel to many people. After being reported by evil people for spreading the gospel, I was reassigned as a host, and I gave that duty my all as well. How could my illness have come back again?” I thought about how several acquaintances with the same illness had all died, and how I might be next. The more I thought about it, the more despondent I became. I couldn’t gather my thoughts while reading God’s words during my devotionals and I didn’t feel like praying. I’d spend my days feeling dazed, as if I had fallen into a deep freezer, with my heart frozen solid. I just wanted to spend more time resting and restoring my health to reduce the pain in my body. Later, I heard that a neighbor with the same illness had died, which made me even more afraid, and I thought, “Maybe one day I’ll die like my neighbor. If I die now, will all the suffering and sacrifices I have undergone in my duties over the years have been in vain? Not only would I not be saved, but I would also lose all my remaining opportunities to labor and survive.” Just thinking about my illness made me unable to eat or sleep. I lived in a state of sorrow, anxiety, and worry, and I was truly tormented inside. I prayed to God, “God, my health is getting worse and worse, and I am constantly living in an uneasy emotional state. I know this is wrong but I don’t know how to resolve it, and even though I know this suffering is permitted by You, I just can’t submit. God, please guide me to submit in this situation, and to learn a lesson from it.”

I read two passages of God’s words: “When people are unable to see through to, understand, accept, or submit to the environments that God orchestrates and His sovereignty, and when people face various difficulties in their daily lives, or when these difficulties exceed what normal people can bear, they subconsciously feel all kinds of worry and anxiety, and even distress. They don’t know what tomorrow will be like, or the day after, or how things will be in a few years’ time, or what their future will be like, and so they feel distressed, anxious, and worried about all manner of things. What is the context in which people feel distressed, anxious, and worried about all manner of things? It is that they don’t believe in the sovereignty of God—that is, they are unable to believe in and see through to God’s sovereignty. Even if they saw it with their own eyes, they wouldn’t understand it, or believe it. They don’t believe that God holds sovereignty over their fate, they don’t believe that their lives are in God’s hands, and so distrust arises in their hearts toward God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and then blame arises, and they are unable to submit” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). “Then there are those who are in poor health, who have a weak constitution and lack energy, who are often sick with major or minor illnesses, who cannot even do the basic things necessary in daily life, who cannot live or get about like normal people. Such people often feel uncomfortable and unwell while performing their duties; some are physically weak, some have real illnesses, and of course there are some who have known and potential diseases of some kind or other. Because they have such practical physical difficulties, such people often sink into negative emotions and feel distress, anxiety, and worry. … People with an illness will often think, ‘Oh, I’m determined to perform my duty well, but I’ve got this illness. I ask God to keep me from harm, and with God’s protection I need not be afraid. But if I get exhausted when performing my duties, will my condition flare up? What will I do if my condition really flares up? If I need to be admitted to hospital to undergo an operation, I have no money to pay for it, so if I don’t borrow the money to pay for my treatment, will my condition get even worse? And if it gets really bad, will I die? Could such a death be considered a normal death? If I really do die, will God remember the duties I’ve performed? Will I be considered to have done good deeds? Will I attain salvation?’ There are also some who know they are sick, that is, they know they have some real illness or other, for example stomach diseases, lower back and leg pain, arthritis, rheumatism, as well as skin diseases, gynecological diseases, liver disease, hypertension, heart disease, and so on. They think, ‘If I keep performing my duty, will God’s house pay for treatment for my illness? If my illness gets worse and it affects the performance of my duty, will God heal me? Other people have been cured after believing in God, so will I be cured too? Will God cure me, just as He shows kindness to others? If I loyally perform my duty, God should heal me, but if only I wish God to heal me and He doesn’t, then what am I going to do?’ Whenever they think of these things, they get a profound feeling of anxiety rising up in their hearts. Even though they never stop performing their duty and they always do what they’re supposed to, they think constantly about their illness, their health, their future, and about their life and death. Finally, they reach the conclusion of wishfully thinking, ‘God will heal me, God will keep me safe. God won’t abandon me, and God won’t stand by and do nothing if He sees me getting sick.’ There is no basis at all for such thoughts, and they can even be said to be a kind of notion. People will never be able to resolve their practical difficulties with such notions and imaginings as these, and in their innermost hearts, they feel vaguely distressed, anxious, and worried about their health and their illnesses; they have no idea who will take responsibility for these things, or whether anyone will take responsibility for them at all” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). What God exposed was exactly my state. Looking back, within less than three months of believing in God, my severe arthritis had almost been healed, so I actively spread the gospel, did my duties, and wanted to prepare more good deeds, thinking maybe God would see my sacrifices and completely heal my illness. When my condition returned and became increasingly severe, to the point where I was almost unable to care for myself, praying to God did not alleviate my condition, so I began to doubt God’s sovereignty, and I worried about becoming paralyzed and unable to care for myself, and that I would be unable to endure the physical suffering. If I went back on hormone medication, and my numerous other diseases returned, then even if I did not die from arthritis, I would die from the other illnesses. If I died, I would have no chance of salvation, nor even any chances to labor and survive. This made me feel weak and distressed, and that all my years doing duties, suffering, and sacrificing had been in vain. When faced with illness, I did not accept it from God, and I did not seek God’s intention. Instead, I misunderstood and complained about God. My attitude toward my duties was also one of indifference. Worried that doing more duties would mean more physical exhaustion, that my condition would deteriorate and that I would die quicker, I did not want to do my duties, and lived in a state of distress and worry, waiting for death. From God’s words I finally understood that the return of my illness had been permitted by God, but I had not recognized God’s sovereignty and misunderstood and complained about Him. My heart was filled with complaints, and all I revealed was rebellion and resistance. My state was so dangerous! Realizing this, I felt scared, so I prayed to God, asking Him to lead me to seek the truth to resolve my negative emotions.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words, and my perspective shifted somewhat. God says: “When God arranges for someone to get an illness, whether major or minor, His purpose in doing so is not to make you appreciate the ins and outs of being sick, the harm the illness does to you, the hardships and difficulties the illness causes you, and all the myriad feelings the illness causes you to feel—His purpose is not for you to appreciate sickness through being sick. Rather, His purpose is for you to learn the lessons from sickness, to learn how to feel for God’s intentions, to know the corrupt dispositions you reveal and the wrong attitudes you adopt toward God when you’re sick, and to learn how to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, so that you can achieve true submission to God and be able to stand firm in your testimony—this is absolutely key. God wishes to save you and cleanse you through sickness. What about you does He wish to cleanse? He wishes to cleanse all your extravagant desires and demands toward God, and even cleanse the various plans, judgments, and schemes you make at all costs to survive and live. God does not ask you to make plans, He does not ask you to judge, and He does not allow you to have any extravagant desires toward Him; He requires only that you submit to Him and, in your practice and experience of submitting, to know your own attitude toward sickness, and to know your attitude toward these bodily conditions He gives to you, as well as your own personal wishes. When you come to know these things, you can then appreciate how beneficial it is for you that God has arranged the circumstances of the illness for you or that He has given you these bodily conditions; and you can appreciate just how helpful they are to changing your disposition, to you attaining salvation, and to your life entry. That is why, when illness comes calling, you must not always be wondering how you can escape it or flee from it or reject it” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). From God’s words, I understood that behind the illnesses I faced there was God’s intention, and that it was to make me learn lessons, reflect on and recognize my fallacious views and corrupt disposition, and my extravagant desires in believing in God. I reflected on how my years of doing duties and making sacrifices were done to have God heal my illness. When the pain eased, I thanked and praised God, and was willing to do more duties and prepare more good deeds, but when the pain returned and worsened, I misunderstood and complained about God, thinking it was only right for God to heal me because I had been doing duties. So when my illness returned, and my desires were not fulfilled, I no longer wanted to do my duties. Even when I reluctantly did my duties, I didn’t want to put in any effort or pay a price. In what way did I have any conscience or reason? When this illness befell me, God’s intention was to purify the adulterations in my faith, and change my erroneous views on pursuit, so that I could submit to God and walk the path of pursuing the truth. Yet I did not pursue the truth, and when facing illness, I did not seek God’s intention. Instead, I was always resistant and defiant, wanting God to remove my pain quickly. When that did not happen, I fell into a state of distress, worry, and anxiety and opposed God, losing my chance to gain the truth. If I continued like this without changing, my life would not grow, my corrupt disposition would not change, and my hope of salvation would become even more remote. The more I understood, the more I felt that believing in God should not be about making demands of Him. I saw how unreasonable I was. I quickly prayed to God, “Oh God, I do not pursue the truth or understand Your work, nor do I submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements. I am too rebellious! God, please guide me to understand myself.”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “Before deciding to do their duty, deep in their hearts, antichrists are brimming with expectations toward their prospects, gaining blessings, a good destination, and even a crown, and they have the utmost confidence in attaining these things. They come to the house of God to do their duty with such intentions and aspirations. So, does their performance of duty contain the sincerity, genuine faith and loyalty that God requires? At this point, one cannot yet see their genuine loyalty, faith, or sincerity, because everyone harbors an entirely transactional mindset before they do their duty; everyone makes the decision to do their duty driven by interests, and also based on the precondition of their overflowing ambitions and desires. What is the antichrists’ intention in doing their duty? It’s to make a deal, to make an exchange. It could be said that these are the conditions they set for doing duty: ‘If I do my duty, then I must obtain blessings and have a good destination. I must obtain all the blessings and benefits that god has said are prepared for humankind. If I can’t obtain them, then I won’t do this duty.’ They come to the house of God to do their duty with such intentions, ambitions, and desires. It seems like they do have some sincerity, and of course for those who are new believers and are just starting to do their duty, it can also be called enthusiasm. But there is no genuine faith or loyalty in this; there’s only that degree of enthusiasm. It can’t be called sincerity. Judging from this attitude antichrists have toward doing their duty, it is wholly transactional and filled with their desires for benefits like gaining blessings, entering the kingdom of heaven, obtaining a crown, and receiving rewards. So, it appears from the outside that many antichrists, before being expelled, are doing their duty and have even forsaken more and suffered more than the average person. What they expend and the price they pay are on par with Paul, and they do no less running about than Paul either. This is something everyone can see. In terms of their behavior and their will to suffer and pay the price, they ought not to receive nothing. However, God does not regard a person based on their outward behavior, but based on their essence, their disposition, what they reveal, and the nature and essence of every single thing that they do. When people judge and treat others, they determine who they are based solely on their external behavior, how much they suffer, and what price they pay, and this is a grave mistake” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). I saw that God exposed antichrists as doing their duties for blessings and crowns, that their sacrifices are all done to bargain with God for the blessings of entering the kingdom of heaven, and that such performance of duty is not loyal or sincere at all. If they do not receive blessings, they will complain greatly, and even argue back with Him and try to get even. I compared my own behavior with this and saw it was the same as that of an antichrist. At first, when I saw my chronic arthritis healed after believing in God, I was filled with gratitude toward God, and with the mindset of having God heal me and then being able to secure a good destination, I actively spread the gospel and did my duties. Regardless of wind, rain, heat, or cold, I worked tirelessly to prepare good deeds by spreading the gospel, and even if relatives, friends, and colleagues mocked and slandered me, I didn’t back down. However, when my illness returned, and when I saw that people with the same illness died, I complained that God was not protecting me, and didn’t even want to do my duties anymore, fearing that taking on more worries might worsen my condition and hasten my death. Through the revelation of facts, I realized that my belief in God and my performance of duties were just done to bargain with God, and that my sacrifices were all to have God heal me and achieve a good outcome and destination. When my desire for blessings was shattered, I was unwilling to even do a bit more duties, fearing incurring losses to my physical interests. I had no loyalty or sincerity toward God at all. I said that I would do my duties well and repay God’s love, but the truth was, I was cheating God, trying to use my duties as a bargaining chip for future blessings. I was truly selfish, despicable, and deceitful! I upheld the satanic law of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and in everything I did, it was all for myself, and I never lifted a finger without a reward. After coming to believe in God, everything I did was still for blessings and benefits. I was greedy and selfish and if I was unable to profit, then I would turn against God to get even. I had no God-fearing heart and was truly without humanity!

I then recalled a passage of God’s words: “You must know what kind of people I desire; those who are impure are not permitted to enter into the kingdom, those who are impure are not permitted to besmirch the holy ground. Though you may have done much work, and worked for many years, in the end if you are still deplorably filthy, then it will be intolerable to the law of Heaven that you wish to enter My kingdom! From the foundation of the world until today, never have I offered easy access to My kingdom to those who curry favor with Me. This is a heavenly rule, and no one can break it!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). From God’s words, I understood that only those who obtain the truth and have a changed disposition can enter God’s kingdom. God likes honest people. Honest people love the truth, and do their duty without bargaining or making demands. They can earnestly do the duty of a created being, and such people are the ones God wants to save. However, those who believe in God but do not pursue the truth and only bargain with God for blessings complain about and resist God once their desires are thwarted. Such people, no matter how much they busy themselves or suffer, will still be eliminated by God. This is determined by God’s righteous and holy essence. In my duties and faith in God, I tried to bargain with God, treating God as a treasure trove, and as a doctor to heal my illness. When my desires were not fulfilled, I clamored against and resisted God. I was truly shameless! God is the Creator, and I am a created being. Doing my duty is my responsibility and obligation. Making such unreasonable demands of God and having such intentions in my duties, how could this not make God detest and loathe me? I thought of Paul. From the very beginning, he worked and expended himself just to gain a crown of righteousness. He traveled across most of Europe to spread the gospel, went through much pain, and did a lot of work. But all the things he did weren’t to repay God’s love or to do the duty of a created being, but rather to gain blessings and rewards for himself, so in the end he could say these words: “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: From now on there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7–8). Paul’s sacrifices and expenditures were not sincere or submissive. They were only done to bargain with God, and to deceive and use Him. In the end, he offended God’s disposition and was cast into hell. In my faith, I always wanted God to heal my illness, to satisfy my selfish desires, and like Paul, I always wanted to receive blessings from God. If I did not make amends, my final outcome would be the same punishment as Paul’s. Doing my duty with such despicable intentions and still wanting God’s approval, just how deluded was I? Realizing this, I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and guilty. I thought of how God incarnated twice on earth, suffering all kinds of human hardships to save us corrupt people, speaking so many words and personally leading and watering us in obscurity, never asking us for anything, nor demanding anything from us. I enjoyed so many truths provided by God, and doing my duty is what I, as a created being, should do, yet I still wanted to bargain with God and make demands of Him. I had been truly wicked! I thought about how I, on the brink of death, had had the chance to hear God’s voice and return to His house, to eat and drink God’s words and enjoy the provision of life, and how God had healed my illness and allowed me to live until now. All of this had been God’s care and protection. Everything God had done for me was His love and salvation. Being able to do some duty was God’s grace and what I should do. But I didn’t know to be grateful, and instead used these as capital to bargain with God, and make constant demands of God. I had truly lacked conscience and humanity, and owed so much to God! The more I thought about it, the more regretful I became, and I prayed to God in my heart, vowing that from then on, I would no longer live to gain blessings, that I would pursue the truth, submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and do my duty properly.

Afterward, I read more of God’s words, and understood how to correctly handle illness and death. God says: “Whether or not someone will get sick, what serious illness they will get, and what their health will be like at each stage of life cannot be changed by the will of man, but rather are all predestined by God. … Therefore, the kind of sickness that will afflict people’s bodies at what time or at what age and what their health will be like are all things arranged by God and people cannot decide these things for themselves; just like the time when someone is born, they are not able to decide it for themselves. So, is it not foolish to feel distressed, anxious, and worried about things you cannot decide for yourself? (Yes.) People should set about resolving the things they can resolve themselves, and for those things they cannot do themselves, they should wait for God; people should submit silently and ask God to protect them—this is the mindset people should have. When illness really does strike and death really is near, then people should submit and not complain or rebel against God or say things that blaspheme against God or things that attack Him. Instead, people should stand as created beings and experience and appreciate all that comes from God—they should not try to choose things for themselves. This should be a special experience that enriches your life, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? Therefore, when it comes to illness, people should first resolve their wrong thoughts and views concerning the origin of the illness, and then they will no longer worry about this; moreover, people have no right to control known or unknown things, nor are they capable of controlling them, as all these things are under the sovereignty of God. The attitude and principle of practice people should have are to wait and submit. From understanding to practice, all should be done in line with the truth principles—this is to pursue the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). “If someone were to beg for death, they may not necessarily die; if they were to beg to live, they may not necessarily live. All this is under the sovereignty and predestination of God, and it is changed and decided by the authority of God, by God’s righteous disposition, and by God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Therefore, say you contract a serious illness, a potentially fatal serious illness, you will not necessarily die—who decides whether you will die or not? (God.) God decides. And since God decides and people cannot decide such a thing, what are people feeling anxious and distressed about? It’s like who your parents are, and when and where you are born—these things cannot be chosen by you, either. The wisest choice in these matters is to let things take their natural course, to submit, and not to choose, not to expend any thought or energy on this matter, and not to feel distressed, anxious, or worried about it. Since people are not able to choose for themselves, expending so much energy and thought on this matter is foolish and unwise” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). After reading God’s words, I understood that the timing and type of illness a person has are all under God’s sovereignty and preordination and not up to human choice, and that people should let go of negative emotions like distress, worry, and anxiety, face these things calmly, submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and seek God’s intention to learn lessons. Contemplating God’s words, I felt a sudden enlightenment in my heart. When I get sick, the severity of my illness, and when I die, are all within God’s orchestrations. It is not as if I can avoid death by fearing it, nor can I die simply by wanting to. My severe illness, paralysis, or death are all permitted by God, and I have no right to complain or demand things from God. I thought of how when Job came up against sickness and calamity, he didn’t complain against God or lose faith. Instead, he praised God’s righteousness from the bottom of his heart, saying: “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah” (Job 1:21). I, having enjoyed the watering and provision of so many of God’s words, should not make any demands of God when facing sickness. Whether God takes my illness away or lets it remain with me forever, it is all part of God’s goodwill and I should not complain or make demands. Even if one day I become paralyzed or face death, I will still submit to the Creator’s arrangements. What I needed to do now is to correctly face illness and death, let go of distress, anxiety, and worry, and entrust everything to God. I reflected again on how over these last twenty years, those who had the same illness as I did, regardless of their age, whether they got sick early or late, many of them died. If it were not for God’s protection, I would not be alive today. The fact that I am alive today and enjoy the watering of so many of God’s words is already God’s grace. Understanding these things, I no longer felt afraid of when I might die, and I became willing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. After that, every day I focused on eating and drinking God’s words, contemplating God’s words, writing experiential articles, and regardless of the severity of my illness, I prayed, ate and drank God’s words, attended gatherings, and did my duties as usual. Sometimes when the illness relapsed severely, I prayed to God and drew close to Him, asking Him to keep my heart in submission. At the same time, I continually reflected on and recognized the impure intentions within me, and promptly sought the truth to resolve them. By practicing like this, my relationship with God became closer, and I felt that this illness was a great protection for me. Later, without realizing it, the pain throughout my body eased, and my blood pressure and blood sugar also returned to normal. I knew this was God’s mercy and protection for me, and I thanked and praised God in my heart!

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Tell Me, who among the billions of people all across the world is so blessed to hear so many of God’s words, to understand so many of the truths of life, and understand so many mysteries? Who among them can personally receive God’s guidance, God’s provision, His care and protection? Who is so blessed? Very few. Therefore, you few being able to live in God’s house today, receive His salvation, and receive His provision, makes it all worth it even if you were to die right now. You are so very blessed, isn’t that right? (Yes.) Looking at it from this perspective, people should not be scared stiff by the matter of death, nor should they be constrained by it. Even though you haven’t enjoyed any of the glory and wealth of the world, yet you have received the pity of the Creator and heard so many of God’s words—isn’t this blissful? (It is.) No matter how many years you live in this life, it’s all worth it and you have no regrets, because you have been constantly performing your duty in God’s work, you have understood the truth, understood the mysteries of life, and understood the path and goals you should pursue in life—you have gained so much! You have lived a worthwhile life!” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). After reading God’s words, I was moved to tears. I had been fortunate to hear God’s voice in the final age of God’s management plan, live under God’s care and protection, enjoy the supply and watering of so many of His words, and understand so many mysteries of the truth, enjoying blessings that people throughout history have not experienced. Even if I were to die now, it would be worth it. Since I am still alive, I must cherish each day I have left and diligently do my duties. My pain is easing day by day, the swelling in my leg joints has greatly reduced, my right ankle joint has basically returned to normal, and the pain throughout my body has also lessened. The brothers and sisters say that I’ve got more color in my face, that I’m glowing with health, and that it’s as if I’ve become a different person. I am so thrilled, and in my heart, I continually thank God for His love and salvation!

It is through the revelation of illness that I have finally realized my views on believing in God were wrong, that I was not fulfilling my responsibilities and obligations as a created being, but rather seeking blessings and using my duties to bargain with God, thereby losing the conscience and reason of a normal person. Today, I have some understanding of my corrupt disposition and some changes in my erroneous views on pursuit. These are the results of God’s words, and moreover, they are God’s love. Thank God for His salvation!