I

O God! Your time has now arrived;

the time You prepared for me has arrived.

I must be crucified for You, I must bear this testimony to You,

and I hope that my love can satisfy Your requirements,

that it can become purer.

Today, to be able to die for You, and be nailed to the cross for You,

is comforting and reassuring to me,

for nothing is more gratifying to me

than to be able to be crucified for You and satisfy Your wishes,

and to be able to give myself to You, to offer up my life to You.

O God! You are so lovely!

Were You to allow me to live, I’d be even more willing to love You.

As long as I’m alive, I’ll love You.

I wish to love You more deeply.

You judge me, and chastise me, and try me

because I’m not righteous, because I have sinned.

II

And Your righteous disposition becomes more apparent to me.

This is a blessing to me, for I can love You more deeply,

and I am willing to love You in this way even if You do not love me.

I’m willing to behold Your righteous disposition,

for this makes me more able to live out a life of meaning.

I feel that my life now is more meaningful,

for I am crucified for Your sake,

and it’s meaningful to die for You.

Yet still I don’t feel satisfied, for I know too little of You,

I know that I cannot completely fulfill Your wishes,

and have repaid You too little.

In my life, I’ve been incapable of giving all of me back to You;

I’m far from that.

As I look back at this moment, I feel so indebted to You,

I have but this moment to make up for all my mistakes

and all the love that I have not repaid You.

from The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment