By Bai He, China

In February 2023, I was doing my duty as a district leader. One day, I received a letter from the upper leader, saying that Xincheng Church was facing a crackdown from the CCP, and that several homes safeguarding books of God’s words had their books confiscated by the police. Two other homes safeguarding the books were still in danger and so the books needed to be moved urgently, so we were told to find new safehouses quickly. Then, I quickly wrote to the churches under my supervision to ask them to provide safehouses. After sending the letter, I suddenly thought, “If my arrangements are wrong and the brothers and sisters get caught while moving the books, wouldn’t I have to take responsibility for that? These books of God’s words were printed using God’s offerings, and if the books get seized by the police while they’re being moved, the consequences would be serious. I might even be dismissed for that.” I thought about how Ma Xiao had indulged in the benefits of status as a leader. She’d always done things as she wished, and she always wanted the final say, leading to the offerings suffering a great loss. After this, she even shirked responsibility and didn’t repent at all, and in the end, she was expelled. Safeguarding the books of God’s words is a major matter. Many of the brothers and sisters around me were at risk, so finding a safehouse would be difficult. I thought, “What if something were to happen? Would I end up being eliminated just like Ma Xiao? But the letter’s already been sent, what should I do now? If I had told the leader that there were no safehouses, then it would have been done. Well, since I’ve already written it, I guess I’ll just let things take their course.” A few days later, the church leaders sent letters saying they hadn’t found any suitable homes. But the truth was, I knew of three churches where things weren’t so dire, and so long as we were careful, we’d be able to find a few homes to temporarily house the books. But I didn’t want to take responsibility for this, so I wrote to the upper leader saying, “The situation here isn’t good, and many homes are also unsafe; it’d be best to go to other churches to find safehouses.”

A few days later, the upper leader sent a letter saying that we weren’t protecting the interests of God’s house at this crucial moment, and that even though other churches had had difficulties finding safehouses too, they’d prayed to God, cooperated in a real way, and managed to find some. They’d seen God’s guidance. After reading the letter, I felt both ashamed and guilty, thinking, “We’re doing the same duty, but when others are confronted by difficulties, they’re able to rely on God to handle the work, but when I face difficulties, I run and act like a turtle pulling its head into its shell. I truly can’t match up to them!” So, I came before God and prayed, “God, in this vital matter of moving the books of Your words, I haven’t been considering the interests of God’s house at all, and I haven’t been actively cooperating in finding safehouses. I’m just the kind of person that doesn’t bother to lend a hand when things go wrong. If the leader hadn’t pruned and warned me, I wouldn’t have reflected on myself. I’ve been so numb!”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words that helped me to finally gain some understanding of myself. Almighty God says: “Some people are afraid of taking responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to take responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a slack job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not take any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the kingdom gospel. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not take responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you spread the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of taking responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is someone who fears taking responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. The fact is that this is not an issue of cowardice. If that person were after wealth, or they were doing something in their own interest, how could they be so brave? They would take on any risk. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risk at all. Such people are selfish and vile, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; it is a problem in their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and vile people, not true-hearted believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the least. For this reason, they cannot be saved. Believers in God must pay a great price in order to gain the truth, and they will encounter many obstacles to practicing it. They must forsake things, abandon their fleshly interests, and endure some suffering. Only then will they be able to put the truth into practice. So, can one who fears taking responsibility practice the truth? They certainly cannot practice the truth, let alone gain it. They are afraid of practicing the truth, of incurring a loss to their interests; they are afraid of being humiliated, of disparagement, and of judgment, and they do not dare to practice the truth. Consequently, they cannot gain it, and no matter how many years they believe in God, they cannot attain His salvation. Those who can perform a duty in God’s house must be people whose burden is the work of the church, who take responsibility, who uphold the truth principles, and who can suffer and pay the price. If one is lacking in these areas, they are unfit to perform a duty, and they do not possess the conditions for the performance of duty. There are many people who are afraid of taking responsibility in performing a duty. Their fear manifests in three main ways. The first is that they choose duties that do not require taking responsibility. If a church leader arranges for them to perform a duty, they first ask whether they must take responsibility for it: If so, they do not accept it. If it does not require them to take responsibility and to be responsible for it, they accept it reluctantly, but still must see whether the work is tiring or bothersome, and despite their reluctant acceptance of the duty, they are unmotivated to perform it well, preferring still to be perfunctory. Leisure, no labor, and no bodily hardship—this is their principle. The second is that when a difficulty befalls them or they encounter a problem, their first resort is to report it to a leader and have the leader handle and resolve it, in hope that they may keep their ease. They do not care how the leader handles the issue and pay this no mind—so long as they do not take responsibility themselves, then all is well to them. Is such performance of duty loyal to God? This is called passing the buck, dereliction of duty, playing tricks. It is all talk; they are not doing anything real. They say to themselves, ‘If this thing is mine to sort out, what if I end up making a mistake? When they look into who’s to blame, won’t they handle me? Won’t the responsibility for it fall first to me?’ This is what they worry about. But do you believe that God scrutinizes all? Everyone makes mistakes. If a person whose intention is correct lacks experience and has not handled some sort of matter before, but they have done their best, that is visible to God. You must believe that God scrutinizes all things and the heart of man. If one does not even believe this, are they not a disbeliever?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God exposed my state exactly, and I felt really distressed and as if my heart had been pierced. Xincheng Church was facing arrests from the CCP and urgently needed to find two safehouses. Anyone with a conscience would have considered the interests of God’s house, and even if there were difficulties, they would rely on God, and they’d spare no effort to transfer the books to a safe place in good time. But I considered my own interests first, and I was always worried that something might go wrong during the book transfer, and that I’d then be held responsible and end up having transgressed, and that if my transgressions kept multiplying, I’d lose my opportunity for salvation. In order to protect myself, I kept trying to leave myself a way out, and I made excuses to push away my duty. I was exactly the slippery and deceitful person that God exposed. I was completely unwilling to take on any responsibility, and I had no conscience or reason! At this point, the books of God’s words were in constant danger of being seized by the police, but I paid this no regard, and only thought about my own interests. In what way did I have any humanity? I was so selfish and despicable!

Later, I started to reflect, “Why am I always afraid of taking responsibility? What kind of corrupt disposition is causing this?” I read a passage of God’s words: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). After reading God’s words, I understood that when I faced things, I was always afraid of taking responsibility and considered my own interests first, because I lived by the satanic poison of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” and these things had become my nature. In the past, when interacting with others or handling things, I first considered whether something would benefit me or whether I would need to take responsibility. Even in my duty, I was still the same. When the leader assigned me to find a place to move the books to, I was full of concerns, thinking things through over and over again, afraid that once I found a place, if something went wrong during the transfer, or the books were seized by the police, then I’d have to bear responsibility. If this caused major losses, I might even be dismissed. To avoid bringing any harm upon myself, I made the excuse that I couldn’t find anywhere suitable to push this responsibility away. I was well aware that the situation in Xincheng Church was dire, with Judases having sold them out, and that the homes safeguarding the books could be raided by the police at any time. I also knew that in this critical moment, it was my responsibility as a leader to protect the books of God’s words, and I should have been doing everything I could to protect the interests of God’s house. But I only considered my own interests, feared taking responsibility, and shirked my duty. I’d been so selfish and lacking in humanity! Realizing this, I felt a deep sense of indebtedness and just wanted to slap myself.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. If someone lacks this correct attitude, and they are entirely adulterated by personal intentions, if they are filled with cunning schemes and revelations of corrupt dispositions, and when problems arise, they resort to pretense, sophistry, and self-justification, and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge their actions, then such a person cannot be saved. They don’t accept the truth at all and have been completely revealed. People who aren’t right, and who can’t accept the truth in the slightest, are disbelievers in essence and can only be eliminated. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From the exposure of God’s words, I saw that some people don’t believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They don’t believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They think that if a person makes a mistake in their duty, God’s house will punish them, revoke their right to do their duty, and even clear them out or expel them. In reality, God’s house handles every person according to the principles, based on context, and based on a person’s intention in doing things and their attitude toward their duty. If a person constantly does their duty in a perfunctory way, does not seek the principles in matters, always does their duty by relying on their corrupt disposition, treats the work of God’s house irreverently and without responsibility, causing losses to the work of God’s house, then such people should not only be pruned, but also held accountable, and if they don’t accept this and continue to argue back, resist, and absolutely refuse to repent, then God’s house will handle them accordingly, dismissing them or even clearing them out. However, some people, when encountering issues in their duty, can seek the truth, and when they don’t understand something, they can consult others and strive to do things well. Although problems or deviations may arise during their cooperation, or they may cause some losses to the church’s work, they later feel regret and guilt, and truly repent. Such people will still be given the opportunity to do their duties by God’s house and aren’t eliminated lightly. God’s house handles every person based on the truth principles. Just like Ma Xiao, during her time as a leader, she indulged in the benefits of status, always did her duty as she wished, didn’t seek the truth, and brought losses upon the offerings. She didn’t accept any of the brothers’ and sisters’ repeated reminders and shirked responsibility, stubbornly walking the path of an antichrist. God’s house, in accordance with the principles, expelled her from the church, and this was entirely God’s righteousness, and not unjust to her at all. The church expelled her not because of a one-time transgression, but based on her consistent behavior. I too had made transgressions in the past, but afterward, I’d reflected and come to know myself and had been willing to repent, so God’s house still gave me the opportunity to do my duties. I saw that God’s house always acts according to the principles. But I’d been living in a state of guardedness and misunderstanding, not believing that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. I thought that making a mistake in my duties would result in me being dismissed or eliminated, as if God reveals people just to eliminate them. Was this not blasphemy against God? If this state of mine weren’t amended, then sooner or later, I would be spurned and eliminated by God.

Afterward, I sought a path of practice to address my issues. I read some of God’s words: “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and consider the work of the church. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Do you not feel that this becomes a little easier when you divide it into two steps and make some compromises? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not such a difficult thing. Furthermore, you should be able to fulfill your responsibilities, perform your obligations and duty, and set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; you should show consideration for God’s intentions, and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first. After experiencing this for a while, you will feel that this is a good way to comport yourself. It is living straightforwardly and honestly, and not being a base, vile person; it is living justly and honorably rather than being despicable, base, and a good-for-nothing. You will feel that this is how a person should act and the image that they should live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words are very clear. In my duty, I must consider the interests of God’s house and set aside my own selfish desires and interests. When the interests of God’s house conflict with my own, I have to protect the interests of God’s house first. I made a resolution to myself, “From now on, in any matter involving the work of God’s house, no matter how difficult it is, I will rely on God, actively handle this work, and do my best to protect the interests of God’s house.”

A month later, the upper leader sent another letter, asking us to find two safe homes for four brothers to stay in. Two of the brothers were at risk, and another brother had an arrest record and was wanted. The thought of having to find more safe homes made my concerns resurface, “The situations of the churches under my supervision aren’t good, and finding a safe home isn’t easy. If the house we find isn’t safe and the brothers get arrested while they’re with us, wouldn’t the leader hold me responsible? Should I just tell her that we can’t find anywhere here, and have her find somewhere at other churches?” When I thought this way, I realized I was considering my own interests again, so I quickly prayed to God, “God, although the situation is dire and there are many difficulties, I’m willing to let go of my wrong intentions and search for safe homes. Please guide me.” After praying, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and consider the work of the church. Put these things first and foremost” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). I had to let go of my own interests and prioritize the interests of God’s house. I saw that the places where the brothers were staying were very dangerous and they could be arrested at any moment, and if I were to protect myself out of fear of taking responsibility, and I didn’t try to find safe homes in time to keep these brothers safe, then I’d be completely lacking in humanity. I also remembered that last time, I was always concerned with my own interests and afraid of taking responsibility, and that this had left me with regrets. I couldn’t make the same mistake this time. When I actually cooperated, I quickly found two safe homes and then brought the brothers over.

Through this revelation, I finally saw how truly selfish, despicable, and lacking in humanity I’d been. I’d thought I had good humanity and could protect the church’s work, but through this situation, my corruption was revealed, allowing me to understand myself and make some changes. This was God’s great salvation for me, and it was something I couldn’t have realized in a comfortable environment. Thank God!