By Ma Yi, China

In November 2022, the upper leadership sent me a letter asking me to write an evaluation of Wang Qi. Upon receiving the letter, I couldn’t help but think, “Why do I need to write an evaluation of Wang Qi? She was just transferred to another church two months ago. Could it be that the upper leadership wants to promote her? Or do they want to evaluate her performance and possibly dismiss her? What do the leaders really mean by this?” I’d heard that Wang Qi had been forsaking her family and career to do her duty, and that two years ago, when the church faced a major crackdown, she’d handled the aftermath promptly, showing some work capabilities. However, she was quite difficult to get along with, and from my interactions with her, I’d found that she often had a bit of an attitude, making others feel constrained, and that she tended to judge people. Thinking about how she had had an attitude and constrained me made me feel aggrieved and upset. But then I thought, “The leaders have been writing to her to look into her state and guiding her to know herself, so they might be planning to promote her. If that’s the case, I should write about her good qualities in the evaluation. If I write about how she constrains people, how will the leaders see me? Would they say that I’m nitpicking and not learning lessons, or that I didn’t cooperate well with her? She has good caliber and work capabilities, and has forsaken her family and career to do her duty, and when she was dismissed, she reflected and gained some understanding. If the leaders want to promote her but I write about her bad behavior, how will the leaders view me?” After thinking it over, I concluded that the leaders were going to promote her, so I wrote that Wang Qi pursued the truth and comprehended God’s word purely, and that she had work capabilities and could forsake her family and career. To leave a good impression on the leaders, I glossed over her behavior of constraining people, saying she had a sense of justice and offered me guidance and help. After writing the evaluation, I handed it into the leaders.

A few days later, I received another letter from the leaders, asking me if Wang Qi had shown any signs of suppressing, judging, or constraining others when I had interacted with her. I thought about the times when I had cooperated with her and how she had constrained others, and I thought, “Could it be that her problems in this area are serious, and that the leaders want to look into her behavior? Last time, I only wrote about her good qualities, and I didn’t mention how she constrained or judged others. Should I write about these behaviors this time?” Then I thought again, “If I write about these behaviors now, how will the leaders view me? Will they say I hadn’t been honest before and that I had been deceiving them? Maybe I should just say I don’t know about these things. But if I say I don’t know about these things, will the leaders think I lack discernment?” I kept going back and forth, unsure of how to proceed. I thought to myself, “I only cooperated with her for less than a month, so saying I don’t know about these things wouldn’t be unreasonable, and the leaders probably wouldn’t say anything about it.” At that moment, I felt uneasy and realized that I was being deceitful. So I prayed to God. I remembered the words of the Lord Jesus: “Let your communication be, Yes, yes; No, no: for whatever is more than these comes of evil” (Matthew 5:37). I also recalled that God said: “You ought to know that God likes those who are honest.” I quickly opened God’s word to read. God says: “You ought to know that God likes those who are honest. In essence, God is faithful, and so His words can always be trusted; His actions, furthermore, are faultless and unquestionable, which is why God likes those who are absolutely honest with Him. Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man. What I say is very simple, but to you it is doubly arduous. Many people would rather be condemned to hell than speak and act honestly. Little wonder that I have other treatment in store for those who are dishonest” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). “In everything you do, you must examine whether your intentions are correct. If you are able to act according to the requirements of God, then your relationship with God is normal. This is the minimum standard. Look into your intentions, and if you find that incorrect intentions have arisen, be able to rebel against them and act according to the words of God; thus will you become someone who is right before God, which in turn demonstrates that your relationship with God is normal, and that all that you do is for God’s sake, not your own. In all you do and all you say, be able to set your heart right and be just in your actions, and do not be led by your feelings, nor act according to your own will. These are principles by which believers in God must conduct themselves” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How Is Your Relationship With God?). Through reading God’s words, I understood what God requires of people. God is faithful. He loves honest people and hates deceitful people. God requires that people say what is true, without deceit or concealment. This is God’s disposition. Writing an evaluation also requires entering into the truth of being an honest person and accepting God’s scrutiny. Reflecting on myself while writing Wang Qi’s evaluation, I didn’t write what I knew or speak the truth. Instead, I first speculated about the leaders’ intentions, thinking the leaders might want to promote Wang Qi, so I concealed and covered up her bad behaviors, even glossing over how she constrained me as her having a sense of justice. The nature of this was actually deception. When the leaders asked me to write another evaluation of Wang Qi, to avoid being caught lying, I considered giving up on writing the evaluation. This was yet another instance of deceitfulness. God is faithful. He scrutinizes the innermost parts of man. I might be able to deceive people but not God. If I kept on lying and deceiving to protect my pride, it would only make God loathe and hate me. I had to be an honest person according to God’s requirements, and stop guessing at the leaders’ intentions. Regardless of how the leaders came to view me, I had to accept God’s scrutiny. Afterward, I truthfully wrote about how Wang Qi constrained and judged people and submitted it to the leaders. Only then did I feel at ease. Not long after, the leaders sent a letter describing Wang Qi’s behavior in another church, saying that she had been consistently constraining people, seizing on her co-workers’ faults, and often disciplining others out of hotheadedness. She had also been forming factions and judging her co-workers behind their backs, causing them to feel negative and delimit themselves. She deceived those above and below her and didn’t do real work, and when the brothers and sisters fellowshipped with her, she wouldn’t accept it. Based on her consistent behavior, she was dismissed. Upon hearing this news, I regretted even more that I hadn’t practiced the truth earlier, and I hated myself for being so deceitful.

Later, I reflected on why the same evaluation of one person was written in two different ways in such a short time. What nature was driving me to act this way? I prayed to God with a sense of burden, seeking, “God, when the leaders asked me to write an evaluation of Wang Qi, I speculated on the leaders’ intentions and wanted to write the evaluation accordingly, instead of writing all the facts I knew. What lesson should I learn from this? God, please guide me to know myself.”

During my devotionals, I read God’s words: “The antichrists are blind to God, He has no place in their hearts. When they encounter Christ, they treat Him no different from an ordinary person, constantly taking their cues from His expression and tone, changing their tune as befits the situation, never saying what’s really going on, never saying anything sincere, only speaking empty words and doctrine, trying to deceive and hoodwink the practical God standing before their eyes. They don’t have a God-fearing heart at all. They aren’t even capable of speaking to God from the heart, of saying anything real. They talk as a snake slithers, the course sinuous and indirect. The manner and direction of their words are like a melon vine climbing its way up a pole. For example, when you say someone is of good caliber and could be promoted, they immediately talk about how good they are, and what is manifested and revealed in them; and if you say someone is bad, they are quick to talk about how bad and evil they are, about how they cause disturbances and disruptions in the church. When you inquire about some actual situations, they have nothing to say; they prevaricate, waiting for you to make a conclusion, listening out for the meaning in your words, so as to align their words with your thoughts. Everything they say is pleasant-sounding words, flattery, and obsequiousness; not a sincere word comes out of their mouths. This is how they interact with people and how they treat God—they are just that deceitful. This is the disposition of an antichrist” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Two)). “The humanity of antichrists is dishonest, which means they are not truthful in the least. Everything they say and do is adulterated and contains their own intentions and goals, and hidden in it all are their unmentionable and unspeakable tricks and schemes. So the words and actions of antichrists are too contaminated and too full of falsity. No matter how much they speak, it’s impossible to know which of their words are true, which are false, which are right, and which are wrong. This is because they are dishonest, and their minds are extremely complicated, full of treacherous schemes and rife with tricks. None of what they say is straightforward. They do not say one is one, two is two, yes is yes, and no is no. Instead, in all matters, they beat around the bush and think things through several times in their minds, working out the consequences, weighing the merits and drawbacks from every angle. Then, they alter what they want to say using language so that everything they say sounds quite unwieldy. Honest people never understand what they say and are easily deceived and tricked by them, and whoever speaks and communicates with such people finds the experience tiring and laborious. They never say one is one and two is two, they never say what they are thinking, and they never describe things as they are. Everything they say is unfathomable, and the goals and intentions of their actions are very complicated. If the truth gets out—if other people see through them, and catch on to them—they quickly concoct another lie to get around it. … The principle and method by which these people comport themselves and deal with the world is tricking people with lies. They are two-faced and speak to suit their audience; they perform whatever role the situation demands. They are smooth and slick, their mouths are filled with lies, and they are untrustworthy. Whoever is in contact with them for a while is misled or disturbed and cannot receive provision, help, or edification” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). God exposes that antichrists are very deceitful and wicked, that they constantly watch for others’ reactions in everything they say and do, that they pay close attention to tone and probe for hidden meanings, and that they adjust their behavior to the situation. They say and do whatever will benefit them, and their disposition is slippery and deceitful, without any credibility. When I reflected on my behavior in writing Wang Qi’s evaluation, I saw my disposition was just like that of an antichrist. Before writing the evaluation, I speculated about the leaders’ intentions, and guessing that the leaders wanted to promote her, I only wrote positive things. When the leaders asked me if Wang Qi had constrained or judged people, I worried that if I wrote the truth, the lie I told in the first evaluation would be exposed, and out of fear that the leaders would accuse me of deceit, I considered saying I didn’t know about them, but I also feared that if I didn’t write about these things, the leaders would say I lacked discernment. In order to maintain a good image in the leaders’ eyes, I exhausted myself in scheming and being deceitful, without a trace of honesty in my heart. A person with conscience and humanity would approach writing an evaluation with a God-fearing heart, and write things truthfully. But to protect my pride and status, my thoughts became over-complicated, with everything I said and did revolving around my personal intentions and goals. I followed Satan’s principle of conduct, “Just tell people what they want to hear,” weighing up people’s expressions, being smooth and slick, and lying and deceiving with my eyes wide open. I was truly slippery and deceitful, and completely untrustworthy. I only thought about myself, and ignored the work of the church. I didn’t consider how promoting someone who shouldn’t be promoted would greatly damage the church’s work and the life entry of the brothers and sisters. I was truly selfish! Realizing this, my conscience condemned me, and I felt guilty and remorseful. I was willing to repent to God and act according to His requirements.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “When I say ‘following the way of God,’ what does the ‘way of God’ refer to? It means fearing God and shunning evil. And what is fearing God and shunning evil? When you give your appraisal of someone, for example—this relates to fearing God and shunning evil. How do you appraise them? (We must be honest, just, and fair, and our words must not be based on our feelings.) When you say exactly what you think, and exactly what you have seen, you are being honest. First of all, the practice of being honest aligns with following the way of God. This is what God teaches people; this is the way of God. What is the way of God? Fearing God and shunning evil. Is being honest not part of fearing God and shunning evil? And is it not following the way of God? (Yes, it is.) If you are not honest, then what you have seen and what you think is not the same as what comes out of your mouth. Someone asks you, ‘What is your opinion of that person? Is he responsible in the church’s work?’ and you reply, ‘He’s great. He is more responsible than I am, his caliber is better than mine, and his humanity is good, too. He is mature and stable.’ But is this what you are thinking in your heart? What you actually see is that although this person does have caliber, he is unreliable, rather deceitful, and very calculating. This is what you’re really thinking in your mind, but when the time comes to speak, it occurs to you that, ‘I can’t tell the truth. I mustn’t offend anyone,’ so you quickly say something else, and choose nice things to say about him, but nothing you say is what you really think; it is all lies and all fake. Does this indicate that you follow the way of God? No. You have taken the way of Satan, the way of demons. What is the way of God? It is the truth, it is the basis according to which people should comport themselves, and it is the way of fearing God and shunning evil. Although you are speaking to another person, God is also listening; He is watching your heart, and scrutinizing it. People listen to what you say, but God scrutinizes your heart. Are people capable of scrutinizing the hearts of man? At best, people can see that you are not telling the truth; they can see what’s on the surface, but only God can see into the depths of your heart. Only God can see what you are thinking, what you are planning, and what little schemes, treacherous ways, and active thoughts you have within your heart. When God sees that you are not telling the truth, what is His opinion and evaluation of you? That you have not followed God’s way in this matter because you did not tell the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I understood the principles I should enter into when writing evaluations. When evaluating someone, the evaluation must be based on facts, and not exaggerate strengths or cover up weaknesses. It must be accurate and objective, and in it, we should write as much as we know. An evaluation must serve as a reliable reference and be trustworthy. Furthermore, whether promoting, cultivating, or dismissing someone, an evaluation must be written based on principles and facts, and it should objectively reflect both the strengths and weaknesses of each person. A fair and objective evaluation can help leaders and workers reasonably arrange and handle people, allowing those who can be promoted and cultivated to be promptly arranged into appropriate roles for training, and those who need to be dismissed or cleared out from the church to be dealt with promptly. This ensures that no good person is wronged, and that no evil person is overlooked. If a false evaluation leads to an evil person or an antichrist staying on in the church, it will affect the order of church life, and disrupt and disturb church work, which is an evil deed. Realizing this, I prayed to God and repented, “God, through Your revelation, I see the slippery and deceitful satanic disposition in myself. To preserve my pride and status, I tried to deceive both You and the leaders, disregarding the church’s interests. I deserve to be cursed. God, You didn’t treat me according to my transgressions but gave me the chance to repent, and I am willing to repent and change. When it comes to writing evaluations again, I am willing to practice according to principles with a God-fearing heart, and I will provide all the information I know based on facts.”

Later, the leaders sent me a few more names to evaluate. I saw that these were people the leaders intended to recommend for duties in other locations, and I had some concerns again, “These are people the leaders view favorably, so if I write down what I know and my opinions, and they differ from the leaders’ views, how will the leaders perceive me? Will they say I lack discernment? Maybe I should just mention their strengths and gloss over their weaknesses. I could just say I don’t know them well enough and avoid writing something that doesn’t align with the leaders’ view and causing them to have a negative opinion of me.” At that moment, I realized I was trying to be deceitful to protect my pride and status again, so I immediately prayed to God, asking Him to guide me in correcting my wrong state and to guide me to enter into the principles of being an honest person and accepting God’s scrutiny. Then, I wrote down everything I understood about these people in full detail. I wrote as much as I knew. Doing this gave me peace of mind.

Through writing evaluations, I saw clearly the slippery and deceitful satanic disposition in me, and I also realized that living for pride and status is truly exhausting and painful, and that practicing being honest and telling the truth according to God’s words brings ease and joy. I thank God for guiding me to this transformation!