By Zhuo Jing, China

In November 2020, I was serving as a leader in the church, partnering with the newly elected Sister Wang Chen. At that time, the church was facing arrests from the CCP, some brothers and sisters had been captured, and there was aftermath work that needed to be handled, and because of all this, I was very busy every day. I didn’t have very good work capabilities, and my health wasn’t great, so I felt quite pressured, thinking, “With the speed I work at and all these tasks to complete every day, how much time and energy will this all take? My body is weak, can I carry on like this long term?” With this in mind, I began to do my duties perfunctorily, and I didn’t put as much effort into the tasks I should have been concerned about. I was mainly responsible for the gospel and watering work, and at the time, we needed to cultivate gospel workers and waterers. I knew this work needed to be urgently implemented, but because we had to find suitable personnel, and also had to figure out how to effectively fellowship and train them which required lots of effort and energy, I didn’t follow up on the details, and just let the gospel and watering deacons handle it. One time, when reporting work, I noticed some deviations and problems, and I knew I had to fellowship and resolve them quickly to avoid delaying the work. But when I thought about how finding principles of practice and solutions for each issue would take a lot of time and effort, I felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to face it, and just chose simpler tasks to do instead. Later, Wang Chen noticed these issues and took the initiative to fellowship and resolve them, preventing delays. There was also cleansing work that required me to check some materials for clearing out people, but I didn’t want to suffer, so I procrastinated whenever I could. Sometimes when there were a lot of materials, I wouldn’t want to spend much energy or carefully review it, and one time, I almost cleared someone out who didn’t meet the criteria. When I saw brothers and sisters who were doing single-task duties not having to busy themselves or wear themselves out, I’d feel envious, thinking that being a leader was too tiring and busy, and I’d wonder what I’d do if I wore myself out completely. Especially when difficulties increased, I felt even more irritated and wanted to run from these tasks. When I saw that those who were dismissed could do their devotionals at home, I’d wonder when I’d be able to rest at home too, and that way, I wouldn’t have to think about these issues or endure this suffering anymore. But then I thought about how it was just the two of us responsible for the church’s work, that Wang Chen had just been elected, and that there was so much work that needed to be done. If I said I wouldn’t do my duties, that would show I had no conscience. Thinking of this made me feel somewhat guilty. But when the pressure of work was high, I still couldn’t overcome my flesh, and I’d not want to do my duties. A sister saw that I was being very passive in my duties, so she pointed out that I didn’t have a sense of burden and heeded my flesh. I felt a bit distressed, thinking I shouldn’t treat my duties this way, but afterward, I still found myself involuntarily living in my flesh, feeling that this duty was too painful and tiring.

Later, a sister reported me, and after the upper leadership verified and looked into the situation, they dismissed me based on my consistent behavior. The leader read a passage of God’s words to me: “If in people’s belief in God, they do not give their hearts to Him, if their hearts are not with Him, and they do not treat His burden as their own, then all that they do is an act of cheating God, an act typical of religious people, and it will not receive God’s praise. God cannot gain anything from this kind of person, they can only serve as a foil to His work. These people are like decorations in the house of God—they are placeholders and they are trash, and God does not make use of them. Not only is there no chance of the Holy Spirit working in them, there is no value in perfecting them. This type of person is a veritable walking corpse. No part of them can be used by the Holy Spirit—they have been thoroughly dominated and deeply corrupted by Satan. God will eliminate these people” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. It Is Very Important to Establish a Normal Relationship With God). When I saw God’s exposure using the terms “a foil,” “decorations,” and “trash,” I felt really pricked and distressed. Ever since I’d become a leader, I’d never truly accepted my duties from my heart, I’d always heeded my flesh, and neglected many specific tasks. I’d just been a figurehead leader, serving no positive purpose at all. I saw that I was trash, a false leader who doesn’t engage in real work. I had accepted my duties but had been irresponsible, always complaining about hardship and fatigue, and unwilling to concern myself, and when the workload would increase, I’d feel resistant. I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities, and I hadn’t done my duties well. This had delayed the work. My treatment of my duties was a betrayal of God, and was opposing God! I even envied those who were dismissed, thinking that if I were dismissed, I wouldn’t have to be so busy. Now I’d gotten what I wished for, and now that I’d been dismissed, I could stay at home and not suffer in the flesh. But my heart was in darkness. I felt like God had set me aside and was about to abandon me, and I felt very uneasy. At this moment, I began to feel scared and wanted to turn back to God.

Later, I sought out relevant words of God to eat and drink to address my issues, I came across two passages of God’s words that moved me deeply. Almighty God says: “If you truly have a sense of responsibility, then it shows that you have conscience and reason. No matter how large or small the task, no matter who assigns you that task, whether God’s house entrusts you with it or a church leader or worker assigns it to you, your attitude should be: ‘Since this duty has been assigned to me, it is God’s exaltation and grace. I should do it well according to the truth principles. Despite having average caliber, I’m willing to take on this responsibility and give it all I have to do it well. If I do a poor job, I should take responsibility for it, and if I do a good job, this isn’t a credit to me. This is what I ought to do.’ Why do I say that how one treats one’s duty is a matter of principle? If you really have a sense of responsibility and are a responsible person, then you will be able to shoulder the church’s work and fulfill the duty you are supposed to. If you take your duty lightly, then your view on belief in God is incorrect, and your attitude toward God and your duty is problematic. Your view on doing your duty is to do it perfunctorily and to just muddle through it, and whether it’s something you are willing to do or not, something you’re good at or not, you always approach it with an attitude of just muddling along, so you’re not suited to being a leader or worker and you don’t deserve to do church work. What’s more, to put it very bluntly, people like you are good-for-nothings, destined to achieve nothing, and just useless people” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). “Lazy people can’t do anything. To summarize it in two words, they are useless people; they have a second-class disability. No matter how good the caliber of lazy people is, it is nothing more than window dressing; even though they have good caliber, it is of no use. They are too lazy—they know what they are supposed to do, but they don’t do it, and even if they know something is a problem, they do not seek the truth to resolve it, and though they know what hardships they should suffer in order for the work to be effective, they are unwilling to endure these worthwhile hardships—so they cannot gain any truths, and they cannot do any real work. They do not wish to endure the hardships people are supposed to; they only know to indulge in comfort, enjoy times of joy and leisure, and enjoy a free and relaxed life. Are they not useless? People who cannot endure hardship don’t deserve to live. Those who always wish to live the life of a parasite are people without conscience or reason; they are beasts, and such people are unfit even to perform labor. Because they cannot endure hardship, even when they do perform labor, they are not able to do it well, and if they wish to gain the truth, there is even less hope of that. Someone who cannot suffer and does not love the truth is a useless person; they are unqualified even to perform labor. They are a beast, without a shred of humanity. Such people must be eliminated; only this accords with God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God’s words mention two types of people and their different attitudes toward their duties: One type disregards their caliber, they first adjust their mindset and put their duties in their hearts, and they do their best to cooperate and do their duties according to God’s requirements. This is a person with humanity and reason. The other type only knows to indulge in physical comfort. They don’t want to suffer any hardship, and when work gets busy or tiring, they want to run away and slack off. Such people, even if they have caliber, still can’t do their duties well. These individuals have character issues, are incapable of doing anything, and are trash, and they will eventually be revealed and eliminated by God. Viewing my own behavior in light of this, I saw that I was one of the lazy people and trash exposed by God. Since becoming a leader, when the work pressure increased and required effort and sacrifice, I became irritated, complained, and worried about exhausting my body. I adopted a perfunctory attitude toward my duties and procrastinated as much as I could. I had no sense of burden or responsibility for the gospel and watering work I was primarily responsible for, nor did I follow up on or implement the work of cultivating gospel workers and waterers, which delayed the progress of the gospel work. When reporting work, I couldn’t be bothered to seek out the principles of practice to fellowship and solve the problems I discovered. I was also irresponsible and heeded my flesh as I cooperated in the church’s cleansing work, and as I didn’t carefully check the materials for clearing out people, I almost cleared someone out who shouldn’t have been cleared out. Based on my consistent behavior in my duties, I was indeed the kind of person exposed by God who has character issues. I showed no consideration for God’s intentions, didn’t uphold the interests of the church, and I was a false leader who didn’t engage in real work. Regardless of how busy my duties were or how important the work was, I only wanted to satisfy my flesh. If there was a bit more work than usual, I complained and whined, often using my poor health as an excuse to shirk my duties. In the end, I hadn’t fulfilled any of my responsibilities and delayed the work. Even my efforts to labor were below standard. Although my health wasn’t great, I didn’t have any serious illness, and if I put my heart into my duty, I could still manage. When I previously had the right mindset in my duties, I could rely on God to cooperate in difficult situations, and I was able to resolve some issues in my work and accurately assess problems. But later, I lived in a state of heeding my flesh, and when I encountered tasks that required effort and sacrifice, I wanted to evade them. I didn’t undertake the tasks I needed to do, and gradually, my spirit became more and more numb. Not only was I unable to identify the problems, but I also delayed the work. God used my brothers and sisters to report me, and in the end, I was dismissed; this revealed God’s righteousness. I had completely lost my integrity and dignity—people didn’t like me, God didn’t look favorably upon me, and I couldn’t even do the duties I was capable of. I was truly trash and an untrustworthy person.

Then I continued to seek, asking myself, “Why do I always indulge in comfort and fail to do my duties properly? What will the consequences of being overly considerate of my flesh be?” One day, I read two passages of God’s words that helped me find the root of this problem. Almighty God says: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). “The more you satisfy the flesh, the more liberties it takes; if you satisfy it this time, next time it will ask for more. As this carries on, people come to love the flesh even more. The flesh always has extravagant desires; it always asks that you satisfy it and that you gratify it within, whether it be in the things you eat, what you wear, or in losing your temper, or pandering to your own weaknesses and laziness…. The more you satisfy the flesh, the greater its desires become and the more debauched the flesh becomes, until it gets to the point when people’s flesh harbors even deeper notions, and rebels against God, and exalts itself, and becomes doubtful about the work of God. The more you satisfy the flesh, the greater the weaknesses of the flesh; you will always feel that no one sympathizes with your weaknesses, you will always believe that God has gone too far, and you will say: ‘How could God be so harsh? Why won’t He give people a break?’ When people satisfy the flesh and cherish it too much, then they ruin themselves. … It is said that there was once a farmer who saw a snake that was frozen stiff on the road. The farmer picked it up and held it to his breast, and after the snake was revived it bit the farmer to death. Man’s flesh is like the snake: Its substance is to harm their lives—and when it completely gets its own way, your life becomes forfeit. The flesh belongs to Satan. Within it are extravagant desires, it thinks only for itself, it wants to enjoy comfort and revel in leisure, wallowing in sloth and idleness, and having satisfied it to a certain point you will ultimately be eaten up by it. Which is to say, if you satisfy it this time, next time it will come asking for more. It always has extravagant desires and new demands, and takes advantage of your pandering to the flesh to make you cherish it even more and live among its comforts—and if you do not overcome it, you will ultimately ruin yourself” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). After reading God’s words, I understood that the reason I had lived in such a depraved way, heeding my flesh, was because satanic poisons like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can” had become deeply rooted in me. I regarded enjoying the comfort of the flesh as my life goal, and I thought that living meant treating myself well and allowing my flesh to live comfortably. When my duties involved some pressure and required more thought, I became unwilling. I also resisted suffering and burdens on my flesh, feeling that doing so meant suffering a loss. For instance, summarizing and solving problems required time and effort, so I would set those tasks aside and choose easier tasks, not considering at all whether not addressing these problems promptly would affect the work. The same went for cooperating in cleansing work. Because I was heeding my flesh, I wasn’t conscientious in checking the materials for clearing out people, and almost cleared out someone who shouldn’t have been cleared out. In what way was I doing my duties? I was simply committing evil! But I didn’t reflect on my problems, and when work got busier, I complained. I even hoped to be dismissed so I wouldn’t have to worry or do so much. I always indulged myself, considering my flesh at all times. I saw how deeply I had been harmed by satanic poisons, becoming more and more depraved. I had become selfish, deceitful, and devoid of humanity. I had the opportunity to be a leader, which involved coming into contact with more people, events, and things, seeking and entering into more truth principles, and also learning how to discern people. Alongside this, my corruption and shortcomings would also be revealed, which would prompt me to reflect on myself, practice the truth, and change my corrupt disposition. But I didn’t pursue the truth. I lived according to the selfish and despicable disposition of Satan, indulged in comfort, was irresponsible in my duties, and repeatedly heeded my flesh, delaying work. When God used the brothers and sisters to correct me and fellowship with me, I just dug my heels in and refused to accept it. As a result, I failed to do my primary work well and delayed the work. The way I treated my duties resulted in transgressions and evil deeds! At this moment, I realized that doing duties while heeding my flesh and indulging in comfort truly harms both myself and others, and that if I didn’t resolve this corrupt disposition, and kept doing my duties in a muddled, irresponsible way as before, always aiming to live in comfort, I would just end up committing more evils and ultimately be spurned and eliminated by God. After seeing the harm and consequences of indulging in comfort in my duties, I prayed to God, expressing my desire to no longer rebel like this but to repent to God.

Later, my state improved somewhat, and I was elected again as a church leader. I knew this was an opportunity for me to repent given by God and I was very grateful to God. I resolved to have the right mindset and do my duties well. At that time, I was mainly responsible for gospel work, and having just arrived at a new place, I was unfamiliar with the situation on all fronts, so to do the work well, I would need to pay a greater price. After cooperating for a while, I felt somewhat strained, especially since there were so many tasks to follow up on each day. When it came to the suffering of my flesh, I felt that it would just be better to do single-task work, as I wouldn’t need to put in so much thought and effort. When these thoughts arose, I realized that my state wasn’t right, so I consciously prayed to God. Later, I read that God’s words say: “If you believe in God and want to attain His salvation, you must perform your duty well. Firstly, in the course of performing your duty you need to foster a sense of responsibility and give your best effort. When God sees you as a good person, you are halfway there. If, while performing your duty, you are able to pursue the truth, and no matter how much corrupt disposition is revealed or how many difficulties you face, you can still seek the truth to resolve them; and if you have an attitude of acceptance and submission when you are being pruned, then your hope of attaining God’s salvation will be fully intact. To be seen by God as someone who pursues the truth is a lofty requirement that you may still be unable to meet. You lack the will and stature, and your faith is too weak. So, start by letting the brothers and sisters around you see you as a good person, as someone who is right, who relatively loves positive things, who loves fairness and righteousness, and who is relatively upright. When you make mistakes, you correct them. When you recognize your rebellious state, you quickly turn it around. When you discover your corrupt disposition, you promptly seek the truth and fellowship with others. Once you gain understanding, then you can repent. By pursuing in this way, you are sure to make progress. First, let your brothers and sisters see you as a good person, as someone who is right, someone who has life entry. Then, step by step, strive to become a person who loves the truth and pursues the truth. By putting this into practice it will become easier to gain entry, and it will be more practical for you to make such demands of yourself. First and foremost, you must bring your brothers and sisters to acknowledge you as a good person. What are the criteria for being a good person? First, you must look at the performance of your duty. How many standards and requirements should be met in the performance of your duty? You must be diligent, responsible, willing to endure hardship, willing to pay the price, and be meticulous when handling affairs, not acting perfunctorily. On a slightly higher level, you must be able to find the right principles in every matter and act according to these principles. Regardless of who speaks, even if a brother or sister whom you least admire expresses a principle that is right and in line with the truth, you should listen to it, try to accept it, and attempt to rebel against your own opinions and notions. What do you think of this attitude? (It is good.) It is easy to talk about the need to perform your duty well, it is an easy thing to say; but it is difficult to actually perform one’s duty up to standard. It requires you to pay a price and to give up certain things. What should you give? At the most basic level, you need to invest some time and energy. Every day, you should spend more time and put in more energy than other people. You should keep going a little longer and put in a little more effort. If you want to foster a sense of responsibility and perform your duty well, you need to constantly be pondering how to fulfill your duty properly. You need to consider what truths you must equip yourself with and what kind of problems you should address. Then seek the truth through prayer, expressing your aspirations to God, and earnestly beseech God, asking Him to enlighten and guide you. While others are resting at night, you ought to spend more time pondering on the problems that were present while performing your duty that day and what corruption you revealed. You should reflect on these things, and only take your rest after you have figured out a way forward, so that that day is proven fruitful and not wasted. If you do not contemplate how to solve these problems, you will not be able to eat or sleep well. This is suffering, this is the price you pay. You will have to endure more hardships and pay a greater price than others, and invest more time and energy in striving for the truth. Is this a practical price to pay? (Yes.)” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only One Who Performs Their Duty Well With All Their Heart, Mind, and Soul Is One Who Loves God). After reading God’s words, I understood that to judge whether a person is good, the main criteria are whether that person loves and pursues the truth, whether they can seek the truth to resolve their corrupt disposition once they recognize it, and how they treat their duties—whether they can do their duties according to God’s requirements and the truth principles, whether they are conscientious and responsible and willing to suffer and pay a price, and whether they can seek the truth to solve problems when encountering difficulties. If one can contemplate these proper matters and prioritize their duties, has a heart that considers God’s intentions and can rebel against their flesh to practice the truth, then in God’s eyes, such a person is regarded as having good humanity and as being trustworthy. Looking at myself in light of these things, I saw I was far from God’s requirements, especially when I thought of how I’d delayed work because I’d heeded my flesh, and brought about transgressions. Now that I had another opportunity to do such an important duty, I couldn’t continue as I had before. I had to truly repent. My work capabilities were somewhat lacking, so I should put in more time, thought, and effort, relying on God to cooperate, and seeking fellowship when I didn’t understand things. In the following course of my cooperation, there was a task I wasn’t very good at, requiring me to work harder on the truth principles, so I needed to invest more time and effort than my partnered sister. When I noticed the issues in the brothers’ and sisters’ life entry and work, I also earnestly contemplated and sought ways to help resolve these things to the best of my ability. When I practiced this way, I felt at ease and at peace in my heart.

In the past, I’d always thought that living meant treating myself well, and that living comfortably and easily was most important. I didn’t understand how to live in a way that was truly valuable. Later, by reading God’s words, I began to understand some of these things. Almighty God says: “What is the value of a person’s life? Is it merely for the sake of indulging in fleshly pleasures such as eating, drinking, and being entertained? (No, it is not.) Then what is it? Please share your thoughts. (To fulfill the duty of a created being, this at least is what a person should achieve in their life.) That is correct. Tell Me, if a person’s daily actions and thoughts throughout their entire life are solely focused on avoiding illness and death, on keeping their body healthy and free from diseases, and striving for longevity, is this the value a person’s life should have? (No, it is not.) That is not the value a person’s life should have. So, what is the value a person’s life should have? … In one respect, it is about fulfilling the duty of a created being. In another, it is about doing everything within your ability and capacity to the best that you can, at least reaching a point where your conscience does not accuse you, where you can be at peace with your own conscience and be proven acceptable in the eyes of others. Taking it a step further, throughout your life, regardless of the family you were born into, your educational background, or your caliber, you must have some understanding of the principles that people ought to comprehend in life. For example, what kind of path people should walk, how they should live, and how to live a meaningful life—you should at least explore a bit of the true value of life. This life cannot be lived in vain, and one cannot come to this earth in vain. In another respect, during your lifetime, you must fulfill your mission; this is the most important. We’re not talking about completing a great mission, duty, or responsibility; but at the very least, you should accomplish something. For instance, in the church, some people put all their efforts into the work of spreading the gospel, dedicating the energy of their entire lives, paying a great price, and gaining many people. Because of this, they feel that their lives have not been lived in vain, and that they hold value and comfort. When facing illness or death, when summing up their entire lives and thinking back on everything they ever did, on the path they walked, they find solace in their hearts. They experience no accusations or regrets. Some people spare no effort while leading in the church or being responsible for a certain aspect of work. They unleash their maximum potential, giving all of their strength, expending all their energy and paying the price for the work they do. Through their watering, leadership, help, and support, they help many people in the midst of their own weaknesses and negativity to become strong and stand firm, not to withdraw themselves, but instead to return to the presence of God and even finally bear witness to Him. Furthermore, during the period of their leadership, they accomplish many significant tasks, clearing out more than a few evil people, protecting many of God’s chosen people, and recovering a number of significant losses. All of these achievements take place during their leadership. Looking back at the path they walked, recalling the work they did and the price they paid over the years, they feel no regrets or accusations. They believe that they did nothing to merit remorse, and they live a life of value, and have steadiness and comfort in their hearts. How wonderful is that! Isn’t this the result? (Yes.) This sense of steadiness and comfort, this lack of regrets, they are the result and the reward of pursuing positive things and the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (6)). From God’s words, I understood what a meaningful life is. As a created being, living to fulfill my duties to complete God’s commission is what gives life value. The duties we do today serve to expand the gospel of God’s kingdom, and being able to fulfill our responsibilities and offer our small contribution is something God remembers and is the most meaningful thing. I thought of the nonbelievers who live their lives just to eat well and dress well. Even if they revel in their flesh and don’t suffer any hardships, and they pamper themselves to the point of becoming plump and doughy, living in this world, they don’t know what life is truly for or how to live meaningfully. Such a life has no value and is lived in vain. Thinking back to when I did my duties, I was always considering my flesh, and when faced with problems and difficulties, I wanted to run away and didn’t do what I could. Although my flesh didn’t suffer much, I left irredeemable regrets and debts in my heart. I saw that no matter how great the pleasure or comfort, these things can’t bring true happiness, and only fulfilling one’s responsibilities and duties allows one to live with peace and assurance. With this in mind, I found the motivation to do my duties. When doing my duties called for my flesh to suffer, I thought more about how this was my duty and responsibility, and that I had to do my best to do my duty well. Sometimes, when I was busy or tired, I took appropriate breaks, and I’d do my best according to my physical condition, and I wouldn’t feel that my duty was too difficult or painful. In the course of my duties, I also realized that being a leader calls for a person to take on more worries, but by dealing with various issues in work, or by helping brothers and sisters resolve their difficulties in their states, I was able to understand and gain more truths. In these things God had shown me great favor. My having gained this understanding and experienced this transformation is entirely God’s grace. Thanks be to God!