By Wu Nan, China

In May 2023, I was chosen as a church leader. Thinking about how being a leader means being responsible for all aspects of work, and that I’d never been a leader before and was unfamiliar with various work, I wondered how much effort it would take to do the job well and what kind of a price I’d have to pay. I thought about making an excuse to decline the role, but the brothers and sisters had chosen me, and it would be too unreasonable to find excuses and refuse. With this in mind, I didn’t say anything further. I saw that the sister I was cooperating with, Chen Jing, had been a leader for many years and was familiar with all aspects of the work, so I would ask Chen Jing whenever I had questions, and she would tell me how to handle things. I felt very lucky to have her help. Previously, when I did single-task work, I was the main force and had to worry about everything myself, but now that Chen Jing was cooperating with me, she handled and resolved the difficult and tricky problems, so I just needed to follow her lead and assist her. Although the workload was considerable, I didn’t feel it was too difficult with Chen Jing around. Chen Jing was responsible for more work than I was, and sometimes I saw that she was overwhelmed, and I’d think, “Since I’m not familiar with the work Chen Jing is responsible for, I can’t help her, and anyway, she’s been a leader for a long time, so those who can do more work should do more!” So when Chen Jing encountered difficulties in her work, I only occasionally shared some opinions and didn’t really concern myself with the issues.

One day in August, Chen Jing was suddenly promoted. When I heard that Chen Jing was going to be transferred, I immediately felt under pressure. I’d only been training for a few months and there were a lot of things I didn’t know how to handle. With Chen Jing around, I’d been able to ask her when I faced difficulties, so how could I shoulder these responsibilities if she left? I didn’t want Chen Jing to leave, but the upper leaders had already made arrangements, so I had to accept it. But the thought of having to handle all the work on my own made me feel overwhelmed and put me in a terrible mood. I thought, “I don’t have a grasp on the work Chen Jing was responsible for, and I’ll have to familiarize myself with everything from scratch. How much suffering will I have to endure? What kind of a price will I have to pay?” I felt very repressed. After Chen Jing left, I needed to report on the work myself, but because I hadn’t inquired about or concerned myself much with many of the tasks while Chen Jing had been around, I wasn’t familiar with these tasks and had to spend a lot of time learning about them and getting to grips with them. I felt physically exhausted and even more drained mentally, and I couldn’t help but feel resistant and dissatisfied with the upper leaders. I thought, “Why don’t you consider things from my perspective? I’ve never been a leader before and I’ve only trained for a short time, so I can’t do this duty independently. Chen Jing had been a leader for many years and was an able hand at all aspects of the work; why did you move her and leave me all alone here?” The more I thought about it, the more I felt pained and repressed. It felt like a heavy stone was weighing on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I realized that I was catering to my flesh, so I prayed to God in my heart, asking God to enlighten and guide me to know myself and to submit.

During one of my devotionals, I read God’s words: “The first reaction of antichrists when faced with Christ’s words, commands, or the principles He fellowships about—as soon as it causes them difficulties or requires them to suffer or pay a price—is resistance and refusal, feeling repulsion in their hearts. However, when it comes to things they are willing to do or that benefit them, their attitude is not the same. Antichrists desire to indulge in comfort and stand out, but are they delighted and happily willing to accept when they face the suffering of the flesh, the need to pay a price, or even risk offending others? Can they achieve absolute submission then? Not in the slightest; their attitude is entirely one of disobedience and recalcitrance. When people such as antichrists are faced with things they don’t want to do, things that don’t align with their preferences, tastes, or self-interests, their attitude toward Christ’s words becomes one of absolute refusal and resistance, without a trace of submission” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Four)). God exposes that antichrists treat the situations orchestrated and arranged by God according to their preferences and desires, always considering whether it benefits their flesh, accepting and submitting only what is advantageous to them, and if a situation doesn’t benefit them or causes them suffering, they can’t submit, and they even complain and feel resistant, expressing grievances toward God. I was behaving just like an antichrist; in my duties, I only considered my fleshly interests first. When cooperating with Chen Jing, she handled and resolved all difficulties, so I didn’t have to expend too much effort, and I was able to accept and submit. After Chen Jing was promoted and I had to handle the church’s work alone, I had to actually suffer and pay a price in all aspects of the work, and so I couldn’t submit. I didn’t want Chen Jing to leave, and complained that the leaders didn’t sympathize with my difficulties. Although I seemed busy with my duties, my heart was filled with resistance and complaints, and I always felt that the pressure of doing this duty was too great. Reflecting on how the upper leaders moved Chen Jing based on the needs of the church’s work, I realized that this arrangement was in line with the principles, but I was resistant and dissatisfied. This was not submission to the truth and resistance to God.

Then I thought about how I’d been doing my leadership duties for over three months, but that I still couldn’t grasp the work required of a church leader. Let alone the work Chen Jing was responsible for, I only partially understood the work I was responsible for. Over those past few months, I’d been living in a state of indulging in comfort and muddling through without much understanding. I read God’s words regarding my state: “If people constantly seek physical comfort and happiness, if they constantly pursue physical happiness and comfort, and don’t wish to suffer, then even a little bit of physical suffering, suffering a bit more than others, or feeling a bit more overworked than usual, would make them feel repressed. This is one of the causes of repression. If people do not consider a small amount of physical suffering a big deal, and they do not pursue physical comfort, but instead pursue the truth and seek to fulfill their duties in order to satisfy God, then they often will not feel physical suffering. Even if they occasionally feel a bit busy, tired, or worn out, after they go to sleep they will wake up feeling better, and then they will continue with their work. Their focus will be on their duties and their work; they won’t consider a bit of physical fatigue a significant issue. However, when a problem arises in people’s thinking and they constantly pursue physical comfort, any time that their physical bodies are slightly wronged or cannot find satisfaction, certain negative emotions will arise within them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). “No matter what work is given to them—whether it be important or ordinary, difficult or simple—they are always perfunctory and slippery and slacking off. When problems arise, they try to push responsibility for them onto other people, taking no responsibility, and they wish to keep living their parasitic lives. Are they not useless trash? In society, who does not have to depend on themselves to make a living? Once a person becomes an adult, they must provide for themselves. Their parents have fulfilled their responsibility. Even if their parents were willing to support them, they would be uneasy with it. They ought to be able to realize that their parents have finished their mission of raising them, and that they are an able-bodied adult, and should be able to live independently. Is this not the minimum reason that an adult ought to have? If someone truly has reason, they could not possibly continue mooching off their parents; they would be afraid of others’ laughter, of losing face. So, does one who loves ease and hates work have reason? (No.) They always want something for nothing; they want to never fulfill any responsibility, wishing sweets would just fall from the sky and drop into their mouths; they always want to get three square meals a day, to have someone wait on them, and to enjoy good food and drinks without doing the slightest bit of work. Is this not the mindset of a parasite? And do people who are parasites have conscience and reason? Do they have integrity and dignity? Absolutely not. They are all freeloading good-for-nothings, all beasts without conscience or reason. None of them are fit to remain in God’s house” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God says that a person with normal reason, when they reach adulthood and can live independently, should be able to support themselves through their own labor, but that one who loves ease and hates work, even if they are capable of surviving, will be unwilling to work, and will live by mooching off their parents. Such people are like parasites. They lack integrity and dignity and are unworthy of living. I was behaving just like those people who mooch off their parents, as God exposes. When working with Chen Jing, I was unmotivated and relied on her for everything, and when difficulties and problems arose in the church’s work, I foisted them onto Chen Jing to resolve, so that I didn’t have to exert myself and could take it easy. After Chen Jing was transferred, I saw that I had to worry about and take care of all the work myself, so I felt pained and repressed, unwilling to accept and submit, and I even wanted to keep Chen Jing so that I wouldn’t have to suffer and pay a price. God says: “Their focus will be on their duties and their work; they won’t consider a bit of physical fatigue a significant issue. However, when a problem arises in people’s thinking and they constantly pursue physical comfort, any time that their physical bodies are slightly wronged or cannot find satisfaction, certain negative emotions will arise within them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). My flesh was so lazy that when the work pressure increased, I felt repressed and resistant. My main issue was in my thoughts and viewpoints. Satan’s indoctrinating ideas of “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can” and “Treat yourself well while you’re alive” controlled me, making me very selfish and lazy, only wanting to indulge the flesh, rely on others, and enjoy the fruits of their labor. I didn’t want to endure any hardship myself, and just wanted to live as a parasite, or a freeloader who mooches off their parents, believing that living like this was comfortable. Over the past few months, my flesh had been at ease, but I hadn’t made any progress in my duty, and I’d gained very little truth. As a leader, I should have been shouldering all the work with my partner, but I had been lazy, indulging in fleshly comfort, and contributing little to my duty, and I hadn’t even been laboring in a way that was up to standard. I thought about how freeloaders who mooch off their parents in the secular world indulge the flesh, but live without integrity and dignity and are looked down upon by everyone, and their parents also feel ashamed of having such children. If I didn’t change this lazy, parasitic mindset, I would surely be disgusted and detested by God, eliminated from the ranks of those doing their duties, and lose the chance to be saved. Seeing how serious the consequences are when living by Satan’s thoughts and views, I wanted to rely on God to change my state in which I did my duty.

Later, I read God’s words and gained a path of practice. Almighty God says: “If you are a person with resolve, if you can treat the responsibilities and obligations that people should bear, the things that people with normal humanity must achieve, and those things that adults must accomplish as the aims and goals of your pursuit, and if you can shoulder your responsibilities, then no matter what price you pay and what pain you endure, you will not complain, and as long as you recognize it as God’s requirements and intentions, you will be able to endure any suffering and fulfill your duty well. At that time, what would your state of mind be like? It would be different; you would feel peace and stability in your heart, and you would experience enjoyment. You see, just by seeking to live out normal humanity, and pursuing the responsibilities, obligations, and mission that people with normal humanity ought to bear and undertake, people feel peace and joy in their hearts, and they experience enjoyment. They have not even reached the point where they are conducting affairs according to the principles and obtaining the truth, and they have already undergone some change. Such people are those who possess conscience and reason; they are upright people who can overcome any difficulty and undertake any task. They are the good soldiers of Christ, they have gone through training, and no difficulty can defeat them. Tell Me, what do you think of such comportment? Do these people not have fortitude? (They do.) They do have fortitude, and people admire them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). God’s words pointed out a path of practice to me. As an adult with conscience and reason, no matter what difficulties arise in work, one should bear the pressure and shoulder the work. Only those who do their duties well as created beings are upright and proper individuals. I thought about how when God commanded Noah to build the ark, Noah had never even seen what the ark looked like, and he faced unprecedented difficulties, but he didn’t think about how much suffering he would endure or the price he would have to pay, and he was only focused on how to complete the commission God had given him. At that time, there were no advanced machines, and Noah had to find wood, cut down trees, and turn them into shipbuilding materials, and none of these steps were as simple or easy as we might imagine. But in Noah’s mind, there was only one thought, which was how to build the ark as quickly as he could according to God’s specifications. Comparing Noah’s character to my own, I felt ashamed. God had spoken very clearly on all of the principles involved in this duty of mine. If there were uncertainties, I could seek guidance from the upper leaders, and there was much professional knowledge to refer to and learn from. As long as I expended more time and effort, I could do my duty well. In doing the duty of a leader, I should have been doing the various work, but my laziness and lack of motivation led me to be indifferent to the work Chen Jing was responsible for, and I didn’t get involved in it. But now that Chen Jing had been transferred, I was forced to develop a sense of burden to follow up on the work and solve problems, which would help and promote my practice of truth and entry into principles. If Chen Jing hadn’t been transferred, I would still be living in a state of relying on others, and I wouldn’t have made much progress, nor would I have come to independently think about and solve problems. Understanding God’s intention a bit more alleviated much of my repressive emotions.

One day in September, upon learning that several brothers and sisters had been arrested by the CCP at the same time, I felt instantly overwhelmed, thinking, “In the past, Chen Jing was the one who always handled the aftermath of arrests in the church, but now I’ll have to handle the aftermath myself, and I’ll also need to fellowship the truth and resolve the states of brothers and sisters living in fear. I’ll have to put in so much effort and pay such a price! This is going to be such a pain. It’d be so much better if Chen Jing hadn’t left then I wouldn’t have to struggle with this.” When I thought this way, I realized that I was once again living in a state of catering to the flesh, so I silently prayed to God. I thought about the arrests of the brothers and sisters, and that God’s intention was for me to handle the aftermath properly as quickly as possible to protect the safety of the books of God’s words and the brothers and sisters, and to support and help the negative and weak brothers and sisters. Although it might be physically tiring, this sudden situation was a test for me, and it could train my ability to handle matters myself. With this in mind, I quickly discussed and arranged matters with the brothers and sisters, inquired if the books of God’s words were safe, promptly arranged for the relocation of those at risk, and sought guidance from the upper leaders when there were any uncertainties. The aftermath was handled quickly, and the church’s interests didn’t suffer significant losses. Later, when the church faced arrests again, I knew how to handle it.

This reassignment of my partner’s duty revealed my nature of indulging in comfort, and it also showed me just how heavily I had been relying on others. Without going through such a situation, I wouldn’t have made any progress by now. My current understanding and gains are as a result of God’s words. Thank God!