By Meredith, USA

In 2015, to avoid being arrested and persecuted by the CCP, I fled overseas. I worked while believing in God. I found a cashier job at a large supermarket, and this was my first job out in the world. I cherished this job and wanted to do it well, but because I lacked experience, along with the fact that the supermarket sold lots of different items, and all communication was in a foreign language, I wasn’t accustomed to any of it. The boss would get angry and rush me when I was slow, but when I worked fast, I made mistakes more easily, and the boss would tell me off for being careless, and when the accounts were wrong, I’d have to pay back the exact amount. Working like this, I was on edge every day. Even at night, I dreamed of counting money at the register. At that time, I felt under enormous pressure every day and really didn’t want to keep going to work, but then I thought about how difficult it was finding a job overseas, and how hard it would be to find another job if I quit this one. In such a situation, I just had to stomach it. One day, I asked an experienced cashier, “How can I avoid making mistakes when there are so many customers and so much going on?” The cashier smiled at me and said, “Mistakes are inevitable. After all, who doesn’t make mistakes? The key is figuring out how to solve the problem. Think about it, the boss’ wife is busy every day, so how is she going to be able to scrutinize each and every transaction? As long as the total amount matches with the system, it’s fine. Sometimes when customers buy some items, I just take the money without issuing a receipt or recording it; that way, I can quietly fix the accounts and avoid getting an earful, or else make the gap a little smaller.” I was stunned. So the trick to not getting told off was to deceive and play games, and it was all just a matter of fooling the boss’s wife. I couldn’t accept it in my heart. I believed in God and had to be an honest person. Deceit and trickery are detested by God, so I couldn’t do that. I had to remain conscientious and do my job well; that way, I’d have peace of mind.

However, even though I was careful and conscientious, when there were lots of customers and a lot going on, mistakes were still unavoidable. One day, the boss warned me again, “If you make another mistake, you’ll pay back three times the amount, or you’re out of here!” When I heard my boss say those harsh words without the slightest bit of mercy, I immediately broke down. If I didn’t come up with a solution soon, I was going to get fired. So, I started doing things the way the more experienced cashier did. When I saw discrepancies in the accounts, I would just take the money without issuing a receipt when customers bought small items. This way, the money would balance out, and there’d be no record in the computer system, and once the discrepancy was pretty much fixed, I would return to regular cash register practices. At first, I was really nervous, and scared that someone might find out, since after all, the cash register was right under the surveillance cameras, so if anyone was watching the footage, they would be able to see my every move clearly. Sometimes, my boss would come over and ask, “Why didn’t you issue a receipt for that customer?” and I’d quickly act nonchalant and say, “They said it was just a small amount, so they didn’t need a receipt, and I just forgot.” After hearing that, the boss wouldn’t say anything further. Covering up the discrepancies went “perfectly” in this manner. But no matter what, I still didn’t feel happy about it. When I got home, I collapsed onto my bed, thinking about how I was a believer in God, and that I should speak the truth and be an honest person, but I never expected my bottom line to crumble so easily in the face of self-interest. I felt somewhat guilty, and my conscience was uneasy, but then I thought, “I only did this because I had no choice, I needed to keep my job.” So I used this justification to comfort myself.

To my surprise, over the next few days, some unexpected things happened to me. Some customers even swapped price tags on items, and because some items didn’t have barcodes, and I didn’t recognize some tools, a $55 item ended up being sold for $5. There was also a check worth over $400 that I accepted without the customer’s signature. My boss found out about all of these incidents. I was dumbfounded, thinking, “How could I have made so many mistakes involving such large sums?” After hearing about these, my boss said harshly, “You’re finished. I’m checking the surveillance footage later to see how you made these mistakes. If the money doesn’t come back, you’ll be paying it back triple!” I felt like I was done for that time, that I might lose my job, and that all the hard-earned money I’d made would have to be paid back. I felt like everything was falling apart. When I got home, I couldn’t calm down, and I felt helpless. I didn’t know how to make up for these losses, but I realized that God’s intention was involved in these situations, so I came before God and prayed, asking God to guide me and enlighten me to understand His intention, so I would know how to act appropriately. After praying, I read a passage of God’s words: “You ought to know that God likes those who are honest. In essence, God is faithful, and so His words can always be trusted; His actions, furthermore, are faultless and unquestionable, which is why God likes those who are absolutely honest with Him. Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). Yes. God’s essence is holy and faithful, and He speaks truthfully. God loves honest people. He tells us that only by being honest people can we be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven. As a Christian, I should practice being an honest person according to God’s words, accepting God’s scrutiny in all things, and calling a spade a spade and never being deceitful. When interacting and working with others, I should try to be trustworthy, making others feel secure and that they can trust me. Living like this brings dignity and is in line with God’s intentions. But during that time, to avoid being told off by my boss or having my mistakes discovered, I started to act deceitfully, just like nonbelievers. I’d sell items, take the money, and not issue receipts to cover the discrepancies. I used these despicable means to deceive my boss and fool people. Although my conscience felt guilty, I still used some dignified excuses to comfort myself. People might not notice what I did right away, but God scrutinizes everything clearly. At that point, I came to understand more of God’s intention and requirements. I realized that being an honest person reflects a true human likeness, and I also recognized that these recent snags and setbacks were God’s way of reminding and warning me not to continue down the wrong path.

After that, I started reflecting, asking myself, “What made me willing to follow those around me in deceit? What was controlling me?” While seeking, I read God’s words saying: “Why do people play at being deceitful? It’s to accomplish their own objectives, to achieve their own goals, and so they use underhanded means. In doing this they are not open and aboveboard, and they are not honest people. It’s at these times that people reveal their insidiousness and cunning, or their maliciousness and despicableness. This is where the difficulty lies in being honest: With these corrupt dispositions in one’s heart, it will indeed seem especially difficult to be an honest person. But if you are someone who loves the truth, and who is able to accept the truth, then being an honest person will not be too hard. You will feel that it is much easier. Those with personal experience know very well that the greatest barriers to being an honest person are people’s insidiousness, their deceitfulness, their maliciousness, and their despicable intents. As long as these corrupt dispositions remain, being an honest person will be too difficult” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). Reflecting on God’s words, I fell into deep thought. It turned out that I acted deceitfully to protect my personal interests. When confronted with losses in money and pride, and even the risk of losing my job, I began to act deceitfully and deceptively, and I even harmed others’ interests to cover up my mistakes. What’s worse, not even the guilt of my conscience awakened me. I thought that everyone was deceiving like this, so my actions weren’t crossing the line. After I made mistakes, I played tricks, and acted deceitfully, and I didn’t feel ashamed, but instead found high-sounding justifications for myself. I was truly lacking in humanity! I was living according to my satanic corrupt disposition, lying and deceiving. This made God detest me, and caused me great pain. Only by repenting to God and focusing on speaking the truth and being honest could I find peace and not feel exhausted. God was using these situations to awaken my numb heart, and I couldn’t lie or deceive anymore. Losing money and pride was one thing, but losing my dignity and integrity was another entirely. With this in mind, I decided to take responsibility, and that I would use my salary for that month to compensate for these losses. Unexpectedly, the other staff members in the supermarket recognized the person who hadn’t signed the check by watching the surveillance footage, and they found a way to locate him. Regarding the tools I mis-sold, the boss’s wife said that the customers also had a responsibility, and that since I was young, I really couldn’t be expected to recognize some tools, so I was only asked to make up for half the amount. These issues ended up being resolved easily. I knew it was God orchestrating and arranging the people, events, and things around me to help me. I expressed my heartfelt thanks and praise to God, and my faith in being an honest person was strengthened.

One night, while checking the accounts, I noticed I was short eight dollars. I thought, “Could I have put in too much float money last night? No. Could it be that some coupons weren’t counted? No. Is there a mistake in the accounts? No.” I thought about it from every angle but still couldn’t figure out where the error was. I felt a wave of anxiety, thinking about how I would be told off by the boss’s wife the next day, and I felt distressed and anxious. My boss had said that if I made another mistake, I would be fired, and now since I’d made another mistake, I was uncertain whether I’d be able to keep my job. But then I thought, “The boss’s wife usually only checks the accounts every two to three days, so she probably wouldn’t check today. Tomorrow I can find an opportunity to ‘make up’ for the money; that way, I won’t get told off or lose my job.” But when I thought about how I’d made a resolution before God to speak the truth and be honest, I felt a bit guilty. When I got home, I once again prayed to God about my difficulties, asking God to guide me again and provide a way forward. After praying, I read that God’s words say: “When people live in this world, under Satan’s influence, governed and controlled by its force, it is impossible for them to be honest. They can only become ever more deceitful. Living amid a corrupt humankind, being an honest person certainly involves many difficulties. We are likely to be mocked, vilified, judged, even excluded and driven out by nonbelievers, devil kings, and living demons. So, is it possible to survive as an honest person in this world? Is there any room for us to survive in this world? Yes, there is. There is certainly room for us to survive. God has preordained and chosen us, and He surely opens up a way out for us. We believe in God and follow Him entirely under His guidance, and we live entirely by the breath and life He bestows. Because we have accepted the truth of God’s words, we have new rules for how to live, and new goals for our lives. The foundations of our lives have been changed. We have adopted a new way of living, a new way of comporting ourselves, entirely for the sake of gaining the truth and being saved. We have adopted a new mode of living: We live in order to perform our duties well and satisfy God. This has absolutely nothing to do with what we physically eat, what we wear, or where we live; it is our spiritual need” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). “Regardless of differences in ability, intelligence, and willpower, people are all equal before fate, which does not distinguish between the great and the small, the high and the low, the exalted and the mean. What occupation one pursues, what one does for a living, and how much wealth one amasses in life are not decided by one’s parents, one’s talents, one’s efforts or one’s ambitions, but are predetermined by the Creator” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). Reading these words of God, I felt really at ease. In this evil society, people survive by relying on Satan’s philosophies for worldly dealings. For the sake of our own interests, we deceive each other, and there’s an understanding of tit for tat. It seems like if we don’t act this way, there’s no way to survive. I believe in God and I know that my life comes from Him, that God is sovereign over my destiny, and that the fact that I am alive and breathing is due to God’s sovereignty and protection. The type of work I have depends on God’s ordinations and arrangements, not on any individual. Why should I keep racking my brain trying to fight for things through deceit? Isn’t it better to have an open heart, to do what I need to do, and to entrust everything to God? With this in mind, I felt much more at ease, and I was determined to be an honest person and to accept God’s scrutiny in whatever I did. Since I’d made mistakes, I had to take responsibility, and as for how to compensate and whether I’d be able to keep this job, these things were all in God’s hands, and I was willing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements.

The next day while I was on duty at the register, I happened to have an opportunity to not issue a receipt, which meant I’d be able to make up for that eight-dollar shortfall. My heart was once again shaken, and just as I was about to act, I suddenly thought of these words of God: “You should be an honest person; don’t try to be slick, and don’t be a deceitful person. (Here I am asking you again to be an honest person.)” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Transgressions Will Lead Man to Hell). I realized that God was reminding me to be an honest person and not a deceitful one. Deceitful people are shameful. I recalled God’s word said: “In everything that happens to people, God needs them to stand firm in their testimony to Him. Though nothing major is happening to you at the moment and you do not bear great testimony, all the details of your daily life relate to testimony to God. If you can win the admiration of your brothers and sisters, your family members, and everyone around you; if, one day, the nonbelievers come, and admire all that you do, and see that all that God does is wonderful, then you will have borne testimony. Although you have no insight and your caliber is poor, through God’s perfection of you, you are able to satisfy Him and be considerate of His intentions, showing others what great work He has done in people of the poorest caliber. When people come to know God and become overcomers before Satan, loyal to God to a great extent, then none has more backbone than this group of people, and this is the greatest testimony” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). I understood that in this moment, God was scrutinizing me to see if I could practice the truth. Although this didn’t seem like a big deal, this choice and this action involved testimony. I knew well that God likes honest people, yet I was still living by Satan’s survival principles, using tricks and deceit. Was I not bringing shame to God’s name? Although I wouldn’t be able to bear any grand testimony, I had to practice the truth in the small matters that came my way in daily life. After understanding God’s intention, I made a firm resolution that no matter the situation, I would be an honest person and satisfy God. After that, I stopped thinking about how to cover that eight-dollar shortfall, and began to work diligently. The day passed like this, and when it came time to tally the accounts in the evening, I quietly prayed to God, and prepared myself for the possibility of losing money. After praying, I started counting the money, and to my surprise, the amount was exactly right! I was astonished. I’d definitely been short eight dollars the night before, so how could the total be exactly right now? I counted it several more times, and there was no doubt about it, the amount was just right! I felt very grateful to God and was relieved that I hadn’t resorted to deceit. I felt at ease in my heart for practicing being an honest person according to God’s words.

From then on, no matter what problems arose at work or whether I needed to take responsibility for something, I would proactively communicate with my boss to resolve them. My boss and colleagues praised me for being diligent and responsible in my work, and a few months later, my boss gave me a raise. Later, I asked my boss if I could shorten my working hours, and to my surprise, my boss, who was usually strict with employees, was happy to oblige. One day, I inadvertently overheard a conversation between a cashier and another staff member. The cashier said, “The boss is so biased; he’s so easy on Meredith, giving her raises, shortening her hours, and even letting her adjust her schedule. He just denies any requests I make.” The staff member replied, “Well, who wouldn’t want to work with someone who’s honest, steadfast, and who puts others at ease?” Hearing this, I thanked and praised God from the bottom of my heart, because I knew that my boss’s criticism of me had turned into respect and care, not because I was good, but because God’s words had changed me. When I practiced being an honest person according to God’s words, I regained my dignity as a person and earned others’ respect. I felt deep down that God’s words are the truth, and that they are the criteria for human conduct and comportment. It is truly wonderful to practice according to God’s words!