By Chongxin, China

In 2023, I was responsible for gospel work in the church, but after some time, I was dismissed due to my poor work capabilities and inability to handle the duties of a team leader. The leaders arranged for me to preach the gospel based on my caliber. I thought, “Although I can still preach the gospel, my caliber is average, and I can’t play a key role in the group. If I do this duty and still have no result, I might be at risk of losing my duty and being eliminated.” So, I worked tirelessly to preach the gospel, hoping to gain more people.

One time, the sister I cooperated with, Li Xiao, noticed that I was violating principles in my duty, and that I had abandoned some potential gospel recipients who aligned with principles. I felt uneasy inside, thinking, “I’ve been training for so long but I still made such a big deviation. If the leaders find out, they might think I don’t have a grasp on the principles in my duty, and they might consider me incapable of this role and reassign me. Now, as God’s work is nearing completion, if I fail to do my duty at this crucial moment, wouldn’t that just reveal me as a tare to be eliminated by God?” The more I thought about this, the more distressed I felt. Considering that Li Xiao understood the principles better than I did, I decided to listen to her suggestions more often, which would help reduce mistakes, and if mistakes did happen, I’d be less responsible for them. After that, for any unclear issues, I didn’t think over things attentively, thinking that with my poor caliber, pondering matters wouldn’t yield results, and I waited to discuss them with everyone. During discussions, I would only briefly share my thoughts, and then wait for Li Xiao to give her views. Sometimes I had different opinions but didn’t dare to voice them, fearing that if I made a mistake, I’d be held responsible and it might affect my future prospects and destination. So, most of the time, I followed others, and the views I had became fewer.

Once, we discussed whether a religious person was a potential gospel recipient who could be preached to. I thought he met the principles for evangelism, but Li Xiao said that he couldn’t comprehend the truth and thus shouldn’t be preached to. I initially wanted to fellowship my view further, but then I thought, “What if my view is incorrect and causes mistakes? Never mind, I won’t say anything. Li Xiao understands the principles well and has more experience in preaching the gospel, so I’ll listen to her.” So we decided to abandon this potential gospel recipient. Later, the supervisor learned about this situation, and said that this potential gospel recipient just had a lot of religious notions, but wasn’t incapable of accepting the truth, and that easily abandoning him didn’t align with principles. Seeing such a deviation in the work, I deeply regretted not raising the issue for further seeking at that time. But then I thought, “This was Li Xiao’s suggestion, so the responsibility isn’t mine alone.” So I felt less guilty.

Because I asked others about everything and had no thoughts of my own, I gradually became very dull in everything I did, preaching the gospel seemed increasingly difficult to me, and the results were becoming worse. Thinking back, I used to be able to fellowship and resolve some questions of religious people when preaching the gospel, but why was it that I now had so little to say? I felt something was wrong but didn’t know the reason, so I just helplessly thought it might be due to my poor caliber and shallow understanding of the truth. When I thought this way, I became somewhat negative. I knew my state was wrong but felt powerless to change it. Later, the supervisor had a gathering with us and pointed out many of my problems, such as being passive in my duty, always relying on others, and not doing real work, etc. When these evaluations were put before me one by one, I was dumbfounded, thinking, “How could there be so many problems in my duty? What role have I played in the group?”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “Antichrists never obey the arrangements of God’s house, and they always closely link their duty, fame, gain, and status with their hope of gaining blessings and their future destination, as if once their reputation and status are lost, they have no hope of gaining blessings and rewards, and this feels like losing their lives to them. They think, ‘I have to be careful, I mustn’t be careless! God’s house, the brothers and sisters, the leaders and workers, and even god can’t be relied upon. I can’t trust any of them. The person you can rely on most and who is most worthy of trust is yourself. If you’re not making plans for yourself, then who is going to care about you? Who is going to consider your future? Who is going to consider whether or not you’re going to receive blessings? Therefore, I have to make careful plans and calculations for my own sake. I can’t make mistakes or be even slightly careless, otherwise, what will I do if somebody tries to take advantage of me?’ Therefore, they guard themselves against the leaders and workers of God’s house, fearing that somebody will discern or see through them, and that they’ll then be dismissed and their dream of blessings will be spoiled. They think they must maintain their reputation and status in order for them to have hope of gaining blessings. An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). From God’s words, I saw that antichrists only believe in God for blessings, treating the pursuit of blessings as their lifeblood, and that they are full of suspicion and guardedness against God’s house and brothers and sisters, fearing that if they do evil, cause disturbances, and are exposed, they will be dismissed and eliminated, and lose their good prospects and destination. I saw that my pursuit and viewpoints were the same as those of an antichrist. Ever since I was dismissed as a team leader, I feared that if my evangelism didn’t yield good results, I would be reassigned again, and that I’d have no duty to do, so I aimed to improve the effectiveness of my duty to keep my duty and secure a good prospect and destination. The sister I cooperated with noticed deviations in my work, but I didn’t quickly find the cause and correct them. Instead, I was afraid that the leaders would find out, consider me inadequate, and reassign me, so I tried to cover up my shortcomings, using my lack of understanding of principles as a shield, and I didn’t seek on issues I wasn’t clear on, nor did I express differing opinions. I just relied on the sister I cooperated with, believing that even if mistakes happened, I would be less responsible, and I wouldn’t be reassigned. Doing duties originally required harmonious cooperation and for us to complement each other’s strengths, but I was only concerned with protecting myself and didn’t consider the church’s work at all. I didn’t even fulfill my responsibilities. I had been truly selfish, despicable, slippery, and deceitful! Looking back at why I was dismissed before, on one hand, it was because I had the serious disposition of a people pleaser and wasn’t protecting the church’s work, and on the other hand, it was due to my poor caliber and inability to handle the work of a team leader. I should have sought the truth to resolve my corrupt disposition of a people pleaser, and quickly equipped myself with the truth and principles of preaching the gospel. Only by practicing in this way could I have made progress in my duty. But I didn’t seek the truth, and tried to use cunning to cover up my shortcomings, which not only harmed my life but also affected the effectiveness of my duty. My actions had long since made God detest me. Now I lived in darkness, losing the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This was God’s righteous disposition falling upon me, and if I didn’t come to my senses, I would just end up being detested and eliminated by God! So I prayed to God, expressing my willingness to repent and do my duty well.

After a while, Li Xiao was reassigned, and the work in the group was taken over by Sister Xinyue and me. I couldn’t help but worry, thinking, “Li Xiao used to be the one who vetted the issues I was unclear on, so if issues arose, I was less responsible. Now, Xinyue has just started training, so if issues arise in the future, it will naturally be my responsibility—this is as clear as lice on a bald head. And then getting pruned will be a small matter; in serious cases, I might be dismissed and eliminated.” I realized my state was wrong, so I prayed to God to rebel against myself. I thought of God’s words: “Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man. … If seeking the way of the truth pleases you well, then you are someone who dwells always in the light. If you are very glad to be a service-doer in the house of God, working diligently and conscientiously in obscurity, always giving and never taking, then I say that you are a loyal saint, because you seek no reward and are simply being an honest person. If you are willing to be candid, if you are willing to expend your all, if you are able to sacrifice your life for God and stand firm in your testimony, if you are honest to the point where you know only to satisfy God and not to consider yourself or take for yourself, then I say that such people are those who are nourished in the light and who shall live forever in the kingdom” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). From God’s words, I saw that honest people can completely surrender themselves to God and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements, doing their duties without planning for or considering themselves, only thinking of doing their duties well to satisfy God. Such people can gain God’s approval. Reflecting on God’s words, I understood that avoiding exposing my shortcomings won’t lead to a good prospect and destiny. On the contrary, the more I conceal my shortcomings and use deceit to cheat God, the more God will detest me, and the more likely I will be to lose the work of the Holy Spirit. I had God’s permission to do this duty, God knew all my deficiencies and shortcomings, but I always wanted to hide and cover them. I was trying to trick both myself and those around me! What a fool I was! I should practice being an honest person, seeking clarification from brothers and sisters on things I don’t understand, facing and accepting mistakes boldly, having shortcomings but striving to improve, and fulfilling all the responsibilities I can. Understanding this, I felt at peace in my heart. When discussing the issues of potential gospel recipients with Xinyue, if we encountered things we didn’t understand, we searched for relevant God’s words, and through mutual fellowship, some issues that weren’t initially understood naturally became clear. For some issues we couldn’t clarify through discussion, we sought help from the supervisors, and through their fellowship, we gained more clarity. During this period, many of my shortcomings were revealed, but I no longer felt constrained. When problems arose, I analyzed them in good time, and without even noticing it, the effectiveness of our evangelism improved. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart.

A while later, the leaders wrote to ask about the effectiveness of our evangelism, and I felt some pressure again. Although the effectiveness was better than before, it hadn’t yet shown a significant improvement, and I couldn’t help but worry again, “If the effectiveness in the group doesn’t improve significantly, will the leaders think that I’m not up to this duty and then have me reassigned?” These thoughts made me feel a bit despondent. I realized that I was once again worrying about my future. During one of my devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words in an experiential testimony video that was exactly what I needed. Almighty God says: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. If someone lacks this correct attitude, and they are entirely adulterated by personal intentions, if they are filled with cunning schemes and revelations of corrupt dispositions, and when problems arise, they resort to pretense, sophistry, and self-justification, and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge their actions, then such a person cannot be saved. They don’t accept the truth at all and have been completely revealed. People who aren’t right, and who can’t accept the truth in the slightest, are disbelievers in essence and can only be eliminated. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I saw that God’s house eliminates people based on principles, not based on a person’s temporary mistakes, nor on their caliber, but on their attitude toward the truth and their duties, and whether they accept the truth and repent to God after making mistakes. Those who make mistakes but refuse to repent, and who are, by their nature essence, averse to the truth, are the ones who are eliminated. Additionally, I always thought that being reassigned in one’s duty meant being eliminated, but this view didn’t align with God’s words at all. Some people are dismissed because of their serious corrupt disposition which caused them to disrupt and disturb the work, but if they reflect and repent after being dismissed, the church still gives them an opportunity to do their duties. If someone is reassigned because their caliber is poor and they can’t handle their work, the church will arrange suitable duties based on their caliber and strengths, which benefits both the church’s work and the individual’s life entry. Dismissal and reassignment don’t deprive a person of the opportunity to pursue the truth and do their duties, much less do they mean being eliminated. For example, Sister Han Yu, who used to cooperate with me, was dismissed because her arrogant disposition led to her asserting her status and constraining others, which made brothers and sisters feel constrained, and disturbed and disrupted the work. However, after Han Yu reflected and gained some knowledge of her arrogant disposition, the church arranged for her to do duties again. In the past, I was also dismissed for pursuing fame, gain, and status, but once I was willing to repent, the church arranged for me to do my duties again. From this, I saw that God’s elimination of people isn’t based on whether they have made mistakes or their caliber, but on whether they can accept the truth and truly repent. This is God’s righteous disposition.

I then read God’s words: “When a created being accepts God’s commission, and cooperates with the Creator to perform their duty and do what they can, this is not a transaction or a trade; people should not try to trade expressions of attitudes or actions and behaviors to gain any promises or blessings from God. When the Creator entrusts this work to you, it is right and proper that, as created beings, you accept this duty and commission. Is there anything transactional about this? (No.) On the Creator’s side, He is willing to entrust to each and every one of you the duties that people ought to perform; and on the created humankind’s side, people should gladly accept this duty, treating it as their life’s obligation, as the value they should live out in this life. There is no transaction here, this is not an equivalent exchange, much less does it involve any reward or other statements that people imagine. This is by no means a trade; it is not about exchanging the price people pay or the hard work they provide when performing their duty for something else. God has never said that, and it should not be understood in this way by people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). “‘Though my caliber is low, I have an honest heart.’ These words sound very real, and speak of a requirement God makes of people. What requirement? That if people are lacking in caliber, it is not the end of the world, but they must possess an honest heart, and if they do, they will be able to receive God’s approval. No matter your situation or background, you must be an honest person, speak honestly, act honestly, be able to perform your duty with all your heart and mind, be loyal to your duty, not look to cut corners, not be a slippery or deceitful person, not lie or deceive, and not talk in circles. You must act according to the truth and be someone who pursues the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Contemplating God’s words, I understood that God gives people the opportunity to do their duties not to make them toil and expend themselves for rewards, but because doing duties is the responsibility and obligation of created beings, and people should spare no effort in fulfilling this. This is also an opportunity given by God for us to pursue the truth and cast off our corrupt dispositions. God doesn’t look at the caliber of a person but at whether they have a sincere heart toward their duties, whether they can set aside their personal interests, put in their hearts and efforts, and do their best in everything they can do. This is the attitude we should have toward our duties. Moving forward, when doing my duties, I no longer felt so burdened. Although I have poor caliber, I still need to do my best in everything I can do. If there were problems I didn’t understand, I would pray and rely on God, or seek help from supervisors. Sometimes, when problems arose, I worried that the supervisors might see through to who I really am, and say that despite training for so long, I hadn’t made progress. But when I thought about how God scrutinizes everything, I realized that God knows my shortcomings, and hiding them is futile. God has suitable arrangements for where I am fit to do my duties, based on my stature and caliber. These aren’t things I should worry or be concerned about. I should be an honest person, set aside my interests, and focus on how to do my current duties well. If I give my all and still can’t handle this duty, I will submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements even if I am reassigned in my duties. With this in mind, I openly sought guidance from the supervisors about the issues, and after the supervisors pointed out some problems, I analyzed these deviations and corrected them promptly. After practicing like this for a period of time, the effectiveness of our evangelism improved significantly compared to before. I am grateful to God in my heart. This result is all due to God’s guidance.