7. The Misgivings That Stopped Me From Exposing the Problems of Others
In early July 2023, I was elected as a district leader, and made primarily responsible for the gospel work. I know that as a leader, it was up to me to supervise and follow up on the work of all the brothers and sisters within the scope of my responsibility. However, my progress in following up and implementing work had been very slow because when implementing the work, I tended to follow up on one item at a time and wait for the brothers and sisters to finish before moving on to the next. I did this so they wouldn’t feel overwhelmed or frustrated by the amount of work. I wanted everyone to feel that I was an empathetic person who could understand and sympathize with them, so I was very cautious when supervising and following up on work, as I was afraid that the brothers and sisters would say I was too strict and unempathetic, and not a good leader.
One time, when I was following up on the work of a gospel supervisor named Crisanta, I initially planned to follow up on and look into the work of each gospel worker she was responsible for, and the situation of each potential gospel recipient, but she had just finished a gathering, and I thought to myself, “She just finished her gathering, so maybe she needs a break. If I just go ahead and follow up on her work, will she think I’m completely lacking in understanding?” I didn’t want her to feel pressured by my following up on her. “Since she might have already looked into the gospel workers’ work during the gathering, it may be easier for her to answer questions about this, so I’ll not ask her about the other matters for now. That way, she won’t complain that I’m asking her too many questions, and she’ll feel that I’m considering her situation, and that I’m understanding and empathetic.” I believed a good leader must understand their brothers and sisters and take their feelings into account, so at that time, I only asked Crisanta about the work and plans of the gospel workers, and I didn’t inquire about how the potential gospel recipients were doing. Later, when she did her duty, she only followed up on the work of the gospel workers, while she didn’t keep up with the progress of other work or how the potential gospel recipients were doing. She didn’t look into the details of these things in a timely manner, resulting in poor effectiveness in her duty. I had the same issue when following up with another gospel supervisor, Bella. Bella had just come into my field of responsibility, and one time when I asked her about a few gospel workers, she replied, “I haven’t followed up on these things yet. I’m not very familiar with these people, and I’m still getting to know them.” I thought, “It’s been five days, does it really take that long to look into these things?” I wanted to remind her that this approach was inefficient and would delay work, but then I thought, “If I point out her problems not long after she’s arrived, she might feel I’m not understanding or empathetic, and that I’m not taking her difficulties into account. I don’t want to leave her with a bad impression, and if I say these things, I’m worried that she won’t actively cooperate with me later when I need her help or to implement work, and I’m afraid she might also point out my problems and shortcomings later.” With these things in mind, I didn’t point out Bella’s issues, and as a result, the progress of the gospel work she was responsible for was very slow. Because I didn’t do my leadership duty to supervise and follow up on the gospel work, the progress of the gospel work within the scope of my responsibility was moving at a snail’s pace.
When we summarized the work together, Bella openly said, “I’ve been waiting for the leader to point out my shortcomings in my duty.” Hearing her say this, I realized that I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities as a leader, that I hadn’t followed up on her work or pointed out the problems in her duty. I felt very guilty, so I opened up in fellowship about my state. After my fellowship, the supervisor, Lina, shared a passage of God’s words. Almighty God says: “People’s conduct and ways of dealing with the world must be based on the words of God; this is the most basic principle for human conduct. How can people practice the truth if they do not understand the principles of human conduct? Practicing the truth is not about saying empty words or shouting slogans. Rather it is about how, no matter what people encounter in life, as long as it involves the principles of human conduct, their perspectives on things, or the matter of performing their duties, they are faced with making a choice, and they should seek the truth, search for a basis and principles in God’s words, and then find a path of practice. Those who can practice in this way are people who pursue the truth. To be able to pursue the truth in this way no matter how great the difficulties one encounters is to walk the path of Peter, the path of pursuing the truth. For example: What principle should be followed when it comes to interacting with others? Perhaps your original viewpoint is that ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,’ and that you should keep on everyone’s good side, avoid causing others to lose face, and offend no one, thereby achieving good relations with others. Constricted by this viewpoint, you keep silent when you witness others doing bad things or violating the principles. You would rather that the work of the church suffers losses than offend anyone. You seek to stay on everyone’s good side, no matter who they are. You think only about human sentiments and saving face when you speak, and you always speak nice-sounding words to please others. Even if you discover that someone has problems, you choose to tolerate them, and just talk about them behind their back, but to their face you keep the peace and maintain your relationship. What do you think of such conduct? Is it not that of a people pleaser? Is it not pretty slippery? It violates the principles of human conduct. Is it not lowly to conduct yourself in such a manner? Those who act like this are not good people, this is not a noble way to conduct oneself. No matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how many prices you have paid, if you conduct yourself without principles, then you have failed in this respect, and your conduct will not be recognized, remembered, or accepted before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). Lina then fellowshipped with me, “You neglect to follow up on work to maintain your relationships with others, and although you have preserved those relationships, the work was delayed as a result. From what Bella just said, she was actually hoping for you to follow up on the work, so that she could have some direction and a path in her duties. But you do things with a people-pleaser mentality, and you were just trying to protect your image and maintain the relationship by not pointing out her problems. In the end, you didn’t do your duties well, and because of your lack of follow-up and guidance, Bella’s work has no direction, which directly resulted in ineffective gospel work. You need to seriously reflect on your problem of being a people pleaser!” After listening to the sister, I felt very ashamed. I indeed had a “people pleaser” mindset in my interactions with others. I didn’t want to offend anyone, I didn’t want to affect my relationships with my brothers and sisters, and I didn’t want them to think of me as inconsiderate. I originally wanted to follow up on a lot of work with Crisanta, but I was afraid that if I followed up and looked into things too much, she’d think I wasn’t understanding, so I just chose to follow up on and inquire about the easier tasks for her, and I didn’t follow up on or ask about the more troublesome tasks that would burden her physically. I thought that in this way, she wouldn’t complain about me or have a bad opinion of me. As a result, the gospel work she was responsible for became ineffective. I followed up on Bella’s work in the same way. I saw that her efficiency in her duties was low and delaying the work, but I didn’t want to point this out for fear of offending her. What I did and how I acted was what God exposed when He said: “… keep on everyone’s good side, avoid causing others to lose face, and offend no one.” I used to think I was doing well by acting like this, and that I was avoiding conflict with my brothers and sisters. I thought I was always considering others’ feelings and difficulties, and that I was a good person, but God says this was against the principles of human comportment. My repeated indulgence of my sisters led to slow progress in gospel work, and had already harmed the work of the church. I wasn’t a good person at all, but a people pleaser, a deceitful person. If I didn’t change this people-pleaser mentality, then everything I did would be in vain, because I wasn’t practicing the truth or satisfying God, and God wouldn’t approve of me. This realization made me want to change. I needed to point out any problems or deficiencies I saw in my brothers and sisters’ performance of their duties, and I had to offer fellowship and help, and stop considering my pride. I no longer wanted to maintain my relationships with others. So I prayed to God, “Almighty God, I see that I was just trying to maintain my relationships with my brothers and sisters, without putting the interests of God’s house first. I now have some understanding of myself, and I am willing to repent, practice the truth, act according to principles, and fulfill my duties as a leader.” After praying, I felt a surge of courage. Later, when I followed up on my brothers and sisters’ work, I told them about the problems I saw. When I practiced according to the truth, my brothers and sisters didn’t get angry with me as I’d thought they would, and our relationships didn’t suffer. In fact, they were willing to accept guidance. I wanted to go on doing my best to be an honest person, and to point out problems or offer suggestions to my brothers and sisters. However, practicing the truth isn’t easy, and just knowing the truth doesn’t mean one can practice it. God arranged another environment to reveal my corruption.
On July 13, an election took place in a church, and Sister Awua was elected as the church leader. About a week later, she suddenly told me she had gotten a job because she needed to pay off some debts. Her working hours were from 5 am to 9 pm. I was very surprised, as she had just been a leader for a few days and yet she had already gotten a job and worked such long hours, leaving her with no time at all to do her duties. I fellowshipped with her, but she said, “I really need to work so that I can pay off my debts.” I thought, “This sister really has difficulties and can’t do her duties well, so she isn’t suitable to be a church leader anymore. I need to report this to the supervisor to discuss reassigning her duty.” But then I thought, “If I say this, and she is reassigned in her duty, it might hurt her self-esteem, and she might think I don’t understand her difficulties and that I’m not giving her a chance, and she’ll distance herself from me.” I wanted to maintain my relationship with her, so I didn’t tell the supervisor about her situation. I thought that she didn’t owe much money, and that maybe if she worked for a month, she could pay off what she owed, and then she’d have time to do her duties. During her working hours, I could help her follow up on some work. After that, Awua worked all day and didn’t do any church work, which delayed a lot of work.
A week later, the supervisor, Lina, saw that Awua wasn’t doing her duties and asked me about her situation, and only then did I tell her about Awua’s work. Lina fellowshipped with me, “Based on Awua’s behavior, she can no longer do her duties as a leader. The leadership in the church involves the progress of the overall church work. A good leader can shoulder the work of the church, and an irresponsible leader can harm the church’s work. The truth is, you’ve also seen the situation in this church, so you knew that Awua is simply unable to carry out the leadership work. You should promptly report and resolve this issue once you discover it, but you didn’t take action. You didn’t reassign her duty in a timely manner, nor did you report her problems; you just allowed her to stay where she was. Actions like this delay the work of the church.” After listening to the sister’s fellowship, I felt terrible. I’d seen the problem but acted according to my own ideas instead of practicing the truth, and I didn’t consider whether this would delay the church’s work. I’d been such a fool. Sister Lina read some words of Almighty God to me: “When some church leaders see brothers or sisters doing their duties perfunctorily, they do not rebuke them, though they should. When they clearly see that the interests of God’s house are suffering, they do not concern themselves with this or make any inquiries, and they do not cause the least offense to others. In fact, they are not really showing consideration for people’s weaknesses; instead, their intention and goal is to win over people’s hearts. They are fully aware that: ‘As long as I do this and don’t cause offense to anyone, they’ll think I’m a good leader. They’ll have a good, high opinion of me. They’ll approve of me and like me.’ They don’t care how much damage is done to the interests of God’s house, or how great losses are caused to the life entry of God’s chosen people, or how greatly their church life is disturbed, they just persist in their satanic philosophy and cause no offense to anyone. There is never any self-reproach in their hearts. When they see someone causing disruptions and disturbances, at the very most they might have a few words with them about it, downplaying the issue, and then be done with it. They will not fellowship on the truth, or point out the essence of the problem to that person, less still will they dissect their state, and they will never fellowship what God’s intentions are. False leaders never expose or dissect the errors people frequently make, or the corrupt dispositions people often reveal. They don’t solve any real problems, but instead always indulge people’s erroneous practices and revelations of corruption, and no matter how negative or weak people are, they do not take this seriously. They merely preach some words and doctrines and speak a few words of exhortation to deal with the situation in a perfunctory manner, trying to maintain harmony. As a result, God’s chosen people do not know how to reflect on and know themselves, there is no resolution for whatever corrupt dispositions they reveal, and they live amid words and doctrines, notions and imaginings, without any life entry. They even believe in their hearts, ‘Our leader has even more understanding for our weaknesses than God does. Our stature is too small to live up to God’s requirements. We just need to fulfill the requirements of our leader; by submitting to our leader, we are submitting to God. If a day comes when the Above dismisses our leader, we will make ourselves heard; to keep our leader and stop them from being dismissed, we will negotiate with the Above and force them into agreeing to our demands. This is how we will do right by our leader.’ When people have such thoughts in their hearts, when they have established such a relationship with their leader, and this kind of dependence, envy, and worship has arisen in their hearts toward their leader, they come to have ever greater faith in this leader, and always want to listen to the leader’s words, rather than seeking the truth in God’s words. Such a leader has almost taken the place of God in people’s hearts. If a leader is willing to maintain such a relationship with God’s chosen people, if they derive a feeling of enjoyment from this in their heart, and believe that God’s chosen people ought to treat them like this, then there is no difference between this leader and Paul, they have already set foot on the path of an antichrist…. An antichrist does not do real work, they do not fellowship on the truth to solve problems, they do not guide people in eating and drinking God’s words and entering the truth reality. They work only for status, fame and gain, they care only about establishing themselves, protecting the place they hold in people’s hearts, and making everyone worship them, look up to them, and follow them all the time; these are the aims they want to achieve. This is how an antichrist tries to win over people’s hearts and control God’s chosen people—isn’t such a way of working wicked? It is simply too disgusting!” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item One: They Try to Win Over People’s Hearts). God exposes that when leaders and workers turn a blind eye to problems in the work, only preserving their image and the relationships with their brothers and sisters, then such people are false leaders, and they are walking the path of an antichrist. I was exactly the kind of person God exposed. I clearly knew that Bella was being inefficient in her duties but didn’t have the courage to point out her problems. I just wanted her to feel that I understood her difficulties, so that we wouldn’t have conflicts and could maintain a good relationship. Awua had been unable to fulfill her leadership responsibilities because of her job, so I should have reported her situation to the upper leadership for prompt reassignment of her duties, but I was afraid that if she found out about this, she would form a negative opinion of me, so I didn’t inform the upper leadership. I didn’t care even if this would delay the church’s work. I only wanted the recognition and support of my brothers and sisters so that they’d have a good impression of me, so I always put the interests of God’s house aside. My behavior was truly wicked and loathed by God. I prayed to God, “God, I realize that I haven’t considered the interests of the church in my duties, and that I’ve always been thinking about my relationships with my brothers and sisters, wanting them to see me as a good leader and to respect me. My actions don’t align with the truth and have affected the work of the church. I haven’t done my duties as a leader and am walking the path of an antichrist. Thank You, Almighty God, for arranging Sister Lina to see my deviations and point out my shortcomings. Moving forward, I am willing to practice the truth and no longer preserve my relationship with Awua, and I will consider the interests of the church.” That afternoon, I fellowshipped with Awua, and she admitted that she hadn’t done her duties well and delayed the church’s work. However, she couldn’t give up her job, so I reassigned her duties.
Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “There is a tenet in philosophies for worldly dealings that says, ‘Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship.’ It means that in order to preserve a friendly relationship, one must keep silent about their friend’s problems, even if they see them clearly—that they should abide by the principles of not striking people in the face or calling out their shortcomings. They are to deceive each other, hide from each other, engage in intrigue with each other; and though they know with crystal clarity what sort of person the other is, they do not say it outright, but employ cunning methods to preserve their friendly relationship. Why would one want to preserve such relationships? It is about not wanting to make enemies in this society, within one’s group, which would mean subjecting oneself often to dangerous situations. Knowing someone will become your enemy and harm you after you have called out their shortcomings or hurt them, and not wishing to put yourself in such a situation, you employ the tenet of philosophies for worldly dealings that runs, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.’ In light of this, if two people are in such a relationship, do they count as true friends? (No.) They are not true friends, much less each other’s confidant. So, what sort of relationship is this, exactly? Is it not a fundamental social relationship? (It is.) In such social relationships, people cannot offer their feelings, nor have deep exchanges, nor speak about whatever they wish. They cannot say out loud what is in their heart, or the problems they see in the other, or words that would benefit the other. Instead, they pick nice things to say, to keep the other’s favor. They dare not speak the truth or uphold the principles, lest it give rise to animosity toward them in others. When no one is threatening to someone, does that person not live in relative ease and peace? Is this not people’s goal in promoting the saying, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’? (It is.) Clearly, this is a cunning, deceptive way of existence with an element of defensiveness, whose goal is self-preservation. People who live like this have no confidants, no close friends with whom they can say whatever they like. They are defensive with each other, and calculating, and strategic, each taking what they need from the relationship. Is this not so? At its root, the goal of ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ is to keep from offending others and making enemies, to protect oneself by not causing hurt to anyone. It is a technique and method one adopts to keep themselves from being hurt. Looking at these several facets of its essence, is the demand of people’s moral conduct ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ a noble one? Is it a positive one? (No.) Then, what does it teach people? That you must not upset or hurt anyone, otherwise, you are the one who will end up getting hurt; and also, that you should not trust anyone. If you hurt any one of your good friends, the friendship will quietly start to change: They will go from being your good, close friend to a stranger or an enemy. What problems can it resolve, teaching people to act so? Even if, by acting in this way, you do not make enemies and even lose a few, will this make people admire and approve of you, and always keep you as a friend? Does this fully achieve the standard for moral conduct? At the very best, this is no more than a philosophy for worldly dealings” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (8)). After reading God’s words, I finally understood that “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” is one of Satan’s philosophies for worldly dealings. Most people use this philosophy to maintain good relationships with others, and this had been my way of interacting with others. In order to be seen as a considerate and thoughtful friend, I had been very cautious with others, and even when I saw others’ problems, I didn’t speak up, thinking that by doing things this way I wouldn’t make enemies or offend anyone. In reality, if we discover that others have problems but don’t point them out for the sake of our own interests, and if we protect each other by not speaking the truth, and do not act as honest people, then this can’t be called true friendship. Using this satanic philosophy to maintain relationships with others only leads to mutual guardedness. This is nothing but deceitful and treacherous behavior. I realized that I hadn’t regarded Crisanta, Bella, and Awua as my sisters in the church, and I hadn’t done anything to help them recognize their problems. I was just seeking their approval, and I didn’t want them to have a negative opinion of me. To protect my interests, even when I saw that they hadn’t done their duties well and delayed the work, I didn’t point this out or fellowship to resolve it. I didn’t have true love for my brothers and sisters. I always thought that so long as I didn’t point out their problems, we could continue cooperating, and that we might even have a good relationship. But in reality, clinging to the philosophy of “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” for worldly dealings didn’t yield good results—not only did I delay the church’s work, but I also failed to resolve their issues and didn’t help them do their duties well. I then understood that as a leader, I have to point out the problems brothers and sisters have in their duties, and guide them to know themselves and correct their mistakes. This is what true brothers and sisters should do.
Later, I saw that God’s fellowship mentions the responsibilities of leaders and workers:
1. Lead people to eat and drink of God’s words and understand them, and to enter the reality of God’s words.
2. Be familiar with the states of each sort of person, and resolve various difficulties relating to life entry they encounter in their real lives.
3. Fellowship the truth principles that should be understood in order to perform each duty properly.
4. Keep abreast of the circumstances of supervisors of different work and personnel responsible for various important jobs, and promptly alter their duties or dismiss them as necessary, so as to prevent or mitigate losses caused by using unsuitable people, and guarantee the efficiency and smooth progress of the work.
5. Maintain an up-to-date grasp and understanding of the status and progress of each item of work, and be able to promptly resolve problems, correct deviations, and remedy flaws in the work so that it will progress smoothly.
—The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (1)
After reading God’s words, I saw more clearly that my actions didn’t meet the standards of leadership that God requires, as I hadn’t fulfilled my duties and responsibilities as a leader. Being a church leader means one must lead brothers and sisters to eat and drink and understand God’s words, enabling them to practice the truth and gain life entry. As a leader, one of my responsibilities was to oversee all aspects of the church’s work, from the states of the personnel to the progress of the work. If there is any singular aspect of the work hindering the church’s overall work, it must be resolved promptly. This was something I hadn’t been doing before. Through reading God’s words, I understood how to do my duties as a leader well.
On a day in February 2024, Brother Erven reported to me that Sister Stacey, a church leader, spoke without wisdom while preaching the gospel. For example, she exposed religion, pastors, and elders as soon as she engaged with potential gospel recipients, which caused the potential gospel recipients to have notions and not want to continue attending gatherings. I also noticed that Stacey spoke without wisdom, and I knew that I needed to fellowship this issue with her, but I thought to myself, “It’s true that Stacey’s very direct, but she has been preaching the gospel for a while, will she accept my guidance? If she doesn’t accept it, will she have a negative opinion of me?” But I also thought about how if I didn’t point out her problems, her performance of her duties wouldn’t yield good results, so I should still point out her issues. A few days later, I preached the gospel with Stacey, and toward the end, I silently prayed, “Almighty God, please give me the courage to point out Stacey’s problems. I am a bit afraid that she won’t accept what I say and will have a poor impression of me, but I don’t want to be bound by my corrupt disposition, nor do I want to affect the gospel work just to maintain good relationships with others. God, please give me courage.” Afterward, I summarized the issues we’d encountered during the gospel work, and I pointed out some of Stacey’s issues. Stacey said, “Thank you for pointing out my shortcomings and problems, this is a great help to me.” After that, she gradually practiced correcting these issues.
By practically experiencing these environments arranged by God, I came to understand that “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” is a satanic philosophy for worldly dealings that misleads and corrupts people and that it really doesn’t align with the truth. God’s work of the last days is so practical, and it is done to save us and allow us to cast off the satanic views and philosophies that we hold. If I hadn’t experienced Almighty God’s work of the last days, I would still be living by this satanic philosophy, and I’d still be trying to deceive others with false appearances without realizing it. It is the guidance of God’s words that made me understand these principles of human comportment. I am truly blessed to accept Almighty God’s work of the last days, as it has given me the opportunity to change my corrupt disposition. I am truly grateful to Almighty God!