By Ye Wei, China

In March 2020, I was elected as a church leader. Soon after, I heard that some brothers and sisters were coming to teach computer skills and cultivate some computer technicians. I became very interested as soon as I heard about this. I had always been interested in computer technology and had even studied it myself in my spare time, so I felt a strong desire to learn these skills. Considering the members in our church, I was the only one who had some basic knowledge in this area, so it would be great if I could do this duty! I thought about how I wasn’t very eloquent in my current duty as a leader, and sometimes when brothers and sisters had questions or difficulties, I didn’t know how to fellowship and solve them, and it was quite embarrassing. If I could do a technical duty, mastering the skills would make me a technical talent and earn me recognition, so I looked forward to showcasing my capabilities in this computer technology duty. When I saw a sister who had poor foundational knowledge studying the technology, I looked down on her a bit and casually offered some pointers. The sister responded with a look of surprise, saying, “I didn’t expect you to know about these things!” Hearing her praise made me feel good, and I thought to myself, “You really underestimated me; if it weren’t for my duty as a leader, I would have gone to study technology.”

In early May, Brother Zhang Ming came to our church to teach computer skills, and I was quite happy. I thought to myself, “Even though I can’t go to the lessons every day, I can find time to learn, and learning from knowledgeable people will help me grasp more skills, and once I have the opportunity, I can show my capabilities.” When I first went to study, I noticed that some of the technical content involved English terms, so I couldn’t help but show off my English skills, reading and translating for them. The brothers and sisters looked at me with newfound respect. A sister said, “What level is your English? You even know the technical terms. You are the most qualified to study; you have an advantage!” I nodded and said, “It’s just something I like to study.” When I saw the sisters struggling with certain operations during practice, I offered them some guidance, thinking, “Since I’m a leader and don’t have time, I can only learn intermittently; otherwise, I would definitely learn faster than you.” Unfortunately, I only went to the lessons for two or three days, and then I couldn’t continue because I was busy with church work. I felt very regretful and somewhat unwilling, thinking, “I can’t fall behind you all. I need to find time to catch up on what I haven’t learned.” After that, I watched tutorials to learn, and I put in effort to research anything I didn’t understand. When the brothers and sisters asked me questions about things they didn’t understand, I could also give them some pointers. When I received compliments from the brothers and sisters, I felt proud, and I liked my duty in computer technology even more. However, in my duty as a leader, I often faced various difficulties, and sometimes I couldn’t solve them, which made me feel embarrassed. Although I was doing my duty, my heart didn’t have the same enthusiasm in this as I did when I was studying computer technology, nor was I thinking about how to do my duty well. Instead, I focused on studying computer technology. Sometimes I felt a bit guilty, thinking, “Am I not attending to my proper duty?” But then I thought about how the technical skills of the computer technicians in the church were average, and that helping brothers and sisters with computer issues was also an urgent requirement, and so with that thought, my guilt faded away. One day, I only went to handle my duty after fiddling around with the computer for a while, and as a result, I found that I had missed a rather urgent task, causing delays. Only then did I feel scared. It was my lack of focus on my primary responsibilities that had led to this delay. I also thought about other tasks that should have been completed but weren’t, and others that should have been followed up on but weren’t. This had affected the work progress and I felt a bit regretful, thinking, “As a leader, I should be focusing my efforts on my primary duty, but I’m always studying computer technology. I’m really neglecting my proper responsibilities!” I prayed to God, “God, I’m willing to focus my heart back on my duty, and not do things according to my preferences. From now on, I’ll earnestly do my duty well.” But a few days later, something happened that revealed me again.

A sister encountered some difficulties while doing her duty, and I didn’t know how to fellowship with her. As I couldn’t solve her problems, I felt that I had lost some face and also felt a bit negative, thinking, “As a leader, I can’t even solve a single problem—this is so humiliating. Who knows how this sister will evaluate me behind my back! I’d be better off studying technology. When the brothers and sisters have computer problems, I can solve them on the spot, and I can also receive everyone’s praise and admiration.” With this in mind, I didn’t want to be a leader anymore. A few days later, a preacher learned that my neglect of my duty had resulted in some tasks not being done well, so she pruned me. I then expressed my desire to learn computer technology. She fellowshipped with me, and asked me to reflect on why I wanted to take on a technical duty instead of being a leader. In my reflection, I read these words of God: “If the duty that you perform is something you are good at and like, then you feel it is your responsibility and your obligation, and that doing it is something perfectly natural and justified. You feel joyful, happy, and at ease. It is something you are willing to do, and to which you can give all your loyalty, and you feel that you are satisfying God. But when you one day face a duty that you do not like or have never performed before, will you be able to give it all your loyalty? This will test whether you are practicing the truth. For example, if your duty is in the hymn group, and you can sing and it is something you enjoy doing, then you are willing to perform this duty. If you were given another duty where you were told to spread the gospel, and the job was a bit difficult, would you be able to obey? You contemplate it and say, ‘I like singing.’ What does this mean? It means that you do not want to spread the gospel. This is clearly what it means. You just keep on saying ‘I like singing.’ If a leader or worker reasons with you, ‘Why don’t you train at spreading the gospel and equip yourself with more truths? It will be more beneficial for your growth in life,’ you still insist and say, ‘I like singing, and I like dancing.’ You do not want to go spread the gospel no matter what they say. Why don’t you want to go? (Because of a lack of interest.) You lack interest so you don’t want to go—what is the problem here? It is that you choose your duty according to your preferences and personal tastes, and you do not submit. You have no submission, and that is the problem. If you do not seek the truth to resolve this problem, then you are not really showing much true submission” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Through reading God’s words, I understood that when it came to duties that I was interested in, good at, could showcase myself in, and could gain others’ admiration, I was willing to put in the effort to do them well. However, in duties that didn’t interest me and in which I couldn’t display my capabilities, I was unwilling to confront and overcome the challenges involved. This showed that I chose duties based on personal preferences, and lacked submission to God. Looking back at my study of computer technology, I felt that when I had opportunities to showcase myself, I immersed myself in research, and when I achieved some small success, I thought of myself as remarkable. When I received praise and admiration from others, I appreciated myself, but when I had difficulties and problems in my leadership duty and failed to solve them, I felt embarrassed and wanted to resist or avoid the situation. So instead, I’d try and squeeze in time to delve into technology, which ultimately delayed my primary responsibilities. I was truly neglecting my proper duty! As a church leader, when brothers and sisters encountered difficulties in their duties and I couldn’t fellowship effectively, I should have relied on God to seek the truth or sought help from those who understood the truth to guide and help me. But I wanted to be evasive and shrink back because I couldn’t protect my pride and status in people’s eyes. I was doing my duty based on personal interests and preferences, pursuing to satisfy my personal status and reputation rather than practicing the truth, and I wasn’t standing in the position of a created being to submit to God. This attitude of mine toward my duty was detestable to God. After gaining some understanding, I prayed to God, “God, I no longer want to act based on my preferences. I am willing to focus my heart on my duty and earnestly do it well.” Later, my heart became a little more settled, and I began to diligently focus on my primary work. When difficulties arose in my work, I communicated with the brothers and sisters I was cooperating with, seeking the truth to resolve them.

By April 2021, due to a lack of effectiveness in the gospel work, I was pruned by the upper leadership, but instead of reflecting on myself, I was inclined to give up and suggested resigning. The upper leadership saw that I wasn’t reflecting or entering into the truth and that I had become extremely negative, so they agreed to my resignation. A few days later, I took on a duty related to computer technology, and I felt quite happy, thinking that this duty suited me and that I’d be able to showcase my value. I immersed myself in studying technology and quickly mastered some basic skills, and was able to solve all the computer problems for my brothers and sisters. When teaching the brothers and sisters, I felt confident and held my head high, and I found this duty very fulfilling.

Unexpectedly, a few months later, I encountered some security risks and became unable to do my duty. I often felt downcast, and I thought, “Technology updates and changes so quickly. I’ve wasted so much time that I’ll definitely be left behind.” To avoid falling too far behind, I tried my best to study technology, hoping that one day I could still do technical duties. Later, after reading a passage of God’s words, I began to have some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “There is an innate instinct in people. If they never know what their strengths are, what their interests and hobbies are, they feel that they don’t have a place, are unable to realize their own value, and have a sense of worthlessness. They are unable to demonstrate their value. However, once a person discovers their interests and hobbies, they will turn them into a bridge or a springboard to realize their self-worth. They are willing to pay the price to pursue their ideals, to live a more valuable life, to become a useful individual, to stand out in the crowd and be seen, to be admired and validated, and to become an extraordinary person. In this way, they can live a fulfilling life, have a successful career in this world, and have their ideals and desires fulfilled, thus living a valuable life. Looking around at the bustling crowds of people, there are only a few who are as naturally gifted as themselves, who have set lofty ideals and desires, and who ultimately have achieved these things through relentless efforts. They have built a career doing what they love, attained the fame, profit, and prestige they desired, demonstrated their value, and realized their self-worth. This is the pursuit of people” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). After reading God’s words, I understood that I’d always wanted to do duties related to my interests and hobbies in order to achieve my ideals and desires, to become a technical talent who was admired by others, and to ultimately obtain the fame, gain, and status I desired. When I discovered that being skilled in computer technology could earn me praise and admiration, I felt a strong sense of presence and achievement. So, I became increasingly interested in computer technology, willing to work hard and study from dawn to dusk in order to improve my skills, trying to become skilled in this field so that more people would praise and admire me. However, I was too lacking in my leadership duty, and didn’t have a proactive mindset. When I encountered difficulties and setbacks, I became negative and retreated, even resigning and becoming a deserter. I treated my interests and hobbies as a springboard by which to realize my self-worth. I wanted to gain others’ admiration by learning computer technology. This was plotting for personal gain, and I was doing this to establish my image and status in people’s hearts and satisfy my ambitions and desires!

One day, I came across a passage of God’s words, and I gained some understanding of the underlying motives behind my preference-driven approach to my duties. Almighty God says: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of normal people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and their lifelong goal. In all they do, their first consideration is: ‘What will happen to my status? And to my reputation? Will doing this give me a good reputation? Will it elevate my status in people’s minds?’ That is the first thing they think about, which is ample proof that they have the disposition and essence of antichrists; that is why they consider things this way. It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. And so for antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). After reading God’s words of exposure of antichrists, I was deeply moved. I treated reputation and status as something as precious as life itself, and I pursued the admiration of others constantly. I was being influenced by satanic poisons like “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” and “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and I always sought to have status and a good image in the hearts of others. I was willing to do any duty that would allow me to make a name for myself and be admired. I was willing to suffer and bear the cost of such a duty, but I avoided and rejected any duty that might damage my reputation and status. Just like with computer technology, since it allowed me to make a name for myself, I was willing to study it diligently, staring at the computer screen all day, and even when my eyes were sore and my neck hurt, I just knuckled down and pushed through it. In contrast, I was very passive in my leadership duty, as I was afraid that if I couldn’t solve problems, I would lose my good image in the eyes of my brothers and sisters. To protect my pride and status, I was even able to resign and become a deserter. God’s intentions are for people to pursue the truth and resolve their corruption while doing their duties. But I pursued reputation and status to satisfy my vanity instead, which goes against God’s requirements. I was walking the path of an antichrist, and even if my vanity was satisfied, my corrupt disposition wouldn’t change, and ultimately, I would still be eliminated. I felt very regretful, and I fell before God to pray and turn back to Him, and I asked God to guide me onto the path of pursuing the truth.

I then read two passages of God’s words and understood how to treat my interests and hobbies. Almighty God says: “From today onward, you are a genuine member of God’s house, that is to say, you acknowledge yourself as one of the created beings of God. Consequently, from today, you should reconsider your life plans. You should no longer pursue but should let go of the ideals, desires, and goals you previously set for your life. Instead, you should change your identity and perspective in order to plan the life goals and direction that a created being should have. First and foremost, your goals and direction should not be to become a leader, or to lead or excel in any industry, or to become a renowned figure who carries out a certain task or masters a particular skill. Your goal should be to accept your duty from God, that is, to know what work you should be doing now, at this moment, and to understand what duty you need to perform. You need to ask what God requires of you and what duty has been arranged for you in His house. You should understand and gain clarity on the principles that should be understood, laid hold of, and followed regarding that duty. If you can’t remember them, you can write them down on paper or record them on your computer. Take the time to review them and ponder over them. As a member of created beings, your primary life goal should be to fulfill your duty as a created being and be a qualified created being. This is the most fundamental life goal you should have. Second and more specific is how to fulfill your duty as a created being and be a qualified created being. Of course, any goals or directions related to your reputation, status, vanity, future, and so on should be relinquished” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (7)). “As a believer in God, since you are willing to pursue the truth and wish to attain salvation, you should then let go of your pursuits, ideals, and desires, you should abandon this path, that is the path of seeking fame and profit, and let go of these ideals and desires. You should not choose the realization of your ideals and desires as your life’s goal; instead, it should be to pursue the truth and attain salvation” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). Yes. As a created being, the goal I should have is to pursue doing my duties well as a created being, and not to pursue reputation and status, or to realize my ideals by becoming an outstanding person, a professional, or a technical talent. From now on, regardless of what the church arranges for me, I have to accept it from God and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. Computer technology is something I enjoy, and when the church work needs it, I will study it diligently, applying it to my duties to achieve good results in it, but I also need to resolve any improper intentions within me; otherwise, by doing my duties with a corrupt disposition, I won’t meet with God’s approval. If in the future the church arranges for me to do other duties based on work needs, even if they aren’t my strengths, I should face and overcome the challenges that emerge, put more effort into the truth principles, and learn more from my brothers and sisters about the things I can’t do. So I prayed to God, willing to let go of my reputation and status, to submit to whatever duty God’s house arranges for me, and to no longer do my duties based on my preferences.

Later, I returned to my hometown and did my duty in computer technology again. Five months later, I received a letter from the leadership, stating that they urgently needed someone to assist with text-based duty, and the leadership, knowing that I had previously done this duty, asked if I was willing to take it on. At that time, I was learning a new technology, and I was considered quite outstanding in this area within the church. So, I was really reluctant to put this aside, and for a moment, I found myself in a dilemma again. I reflected on how I had pursued reputation and status before, and I knew that this time, I needed to seek the truth to resolve my issues. I read these words of God: “You should learn to obey when your duty is adjusted. After you have trained in your new duty for a while and have achieved results in performing it, you’ll find that you are more suited to performing this duty, and you’ll realize that choosing duties based on your own preferences was a mistake. Doesn’t this resolve the issue? Most importantly, the house of God arranges for people to perform certain duties not based on people’s preferences, but based on the needs of the work and whether someone’s performing that duty can achieve results. Would you say that the house of God should arrange duties based on individual preferences? Should it use people based on the condition of satisfying their personal preferences? (No.) Which of these aligns with the principles of the house of God in utilizing people? Which aligns with the truth principles? It is choosing people according to the needs of the work in God’s house and the results of people performing their duties. You have some penchants and interests, and you have a bit of a wish to perform your duties, but should your wishes, interests, and penchants take precedence over the work of the house of God? If you doggedly insist, saying, ‘I must do this work; if I’m not allowed to do it, I don’t want to live, I don’t want to perform my duty. If I’m not allowed to do this work, I won’t have enthusiasm for doing anything else, nor will I give my full effort to it,’ doesn’t this show there is a problem with your attitude toward performing duty? Isn’t that completely lacking in conscience and reason? In order to satisfy your personal wishes, interests, and penchants, you do not hesitate to affect and delay the work of the church. Does this accord with the truth? How should one treat things that do not accord with the truth? … The other, which is the most important, is that no matter what degree of understanding you gain or whether you can understand these things, when God’s house makes arrangements for you, you must, at the very least, first adopt an attitude of obedience, rather than being choosy or picky, or having your own plans and choices. This is the reason you must possess most of all” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). God’s words moved me. God’s house arranges duties not based on personal preferences but according to the needs of the work. Although I wanted to do the duty related to technology, I couldn’t prioritize my interests above the work of the church. Plus, at that time, there was no shortage of people to do this item of work, but there was a shortage of people for the text-based work. I had previously done text-based duty, so I had some understanding of the principles involved. I should consider God’s intention, obey the church’s arrangements, and prioritize the work of the church. Having understood God’s intention, I prayed to God to amend my state and then I went on to do the text-based duty.

It was the exposure and judgment of God’s words that made me recognize my erroneous pursuits. I also learned how to treat my interests and hobbies properly. Thank God for His guidance! In the future, no matter what circumstances I face, I am willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and pursue the truth to do my duties well.