6. A Three-Self Church Teacher’s Choice

By Zhao Yan, China

In 1987, I came to believe in the Lord Jesus along with my mother. I soon joined the choir, and no matter how busy with work I was, I continued to attend gatherings. The deacon saw how well I pursued and cultivated me to teach at Sunday School, and so I expended myself and worked even harder for the Lord. By 1995, I noticed that the number of believers coming to gatherings was gradually decreasing. There was also jealousy and strife among my co-workers, and the sermons became stale and banal. I felt anxious and went with my sisters from the choir to seek in other churches. One elder said, “The Lord is coming back soon, we must be vigilantly waiting.” Another pastor from a different church also said, “The Lord is coming soon, empty yourself and prepare your vessel, and confess and repent to the Lord.” Their responses disappointed me. I saw that the churches were desolate, the preachers had nothing to preach, and the believers’ faith had grown cold, so I went to study theology, with my plan being to eventually return and shepherd the flock, reviving the church. Three years later, I graduated from my theology course, returned to the church, and became a teacher, filled with ambition and eagerness to revitalize the church. I began preaching everywhere. Once, a pastor invited me to preach at a large church, and over a thousand people attended the service. In the annex, there was a CCTV connection, allowing everyone to watch my sermon on a screen. I felt extremely happy. The brothers and sisters warmly referred to me as Teacher Zhao, and they’d flock to me with their questions. My heart was filled with joy, as I thought, “Being a teacher is different from being just an ordinary brother or sister. The church not only pays me a salary, but wherever I go, people look up to me and welcome me with smiles. When I go out to preach, the church also covers my travel expenses. I enjoy such good treatment even before becoming a pastor, so if I become a pastor and preach in large churches, the brothers and sisters will look up to and worship me even more.” Not long after, I was elected vice president of the local Three-Self Patriotic Movement Committee, and I thought to myself, “It seems my pursuit is better, and that my preaching is too. If I were to be ordained as a pastor in the future, my area of management would expand, and more people would come to know of me, and wherever I go, I’d be respected and praised, and everyone would know me as the renowned Pastor Zhao.” But after a while, I taught most of the theoretical knowledge I had learned in my theology course, and each sermon just became a rotation of the same old dry and unengaging topics. I started looking all over for various materials and books to piece together into a sermon, even going back to my class notes from my theology course, but it was no good. I saw that the church was becoming increasingly desolate, with fewer and fewer people coming to my sermons, and some who attended gatherings would just slump over in their chairs, asleep. I was quite confused, thinking to myself, “I’ve been actively working for the Lord to revive the church and support the brothers and sisters, so why has the church instead become even more desolate?”

In September 1999, I went to visit my father in another area. My younger sister brought a sister to preach Almighty God’s gospel of the last days to me. I thought this sister was an ordinary believer and understood the Bible less than I did, and thought she’d been misled, so I didn’t listen to her. Later, I heard that a preacher I knew had brought 120 people working for the Lord to believe in Almighty God, and that nearly 100 people from a gathering place in a village had also accepted Almighty God. These pieces of news truly shocked me, and I thought, “If one person is muddled and doesn’t understand the true way, they might be misled, but so many people who are earnest in their pursuit have accepted Almighty God—could they really all have been misled? That can’t be! The preacher I know is well-versed in the Bible and discerning, but he, along with so many co-workers, has come to believe in Almighty God. Could it be that they’re right in believing in Almighty God?” I felt confused so I often prayed to the Lord, “Lord, why have so many people turned to believe in Almighty God? These good sheep and leaders are all very diligent in their pursuit and well-versed in the Bible, so how could they all turn to believe in Almighty God? Why is The Church of Almighty God thriving while our church is becoming so desolate? Could it be that You have truly returned? Oh Lord, I’m so confused. Please guide me.” In April 2000, I went to my younger sister’s house, and she once again preached Almighty God’s gospel of the last days to me. She fellowshipped about the three stages of God’s work: the Age of Law, the Age of Grace, and the Age of Kingdom, all of which are carried out by one God. In the Age of Law, God was called Jehovah, and He issued the laws and guided people in their lives; in the Age of Grace, God was called Jesus, who did the work of redemption; in the Age of Kingdom, God’s work is to express His words to thoroughly cleanse people, resolving the root of human sin, and God is called Almighty God. God has done different work in each age, each time under a different name. After each stage of work achieves its effect, God begins the next stage of work, with each stage following the previous one and going deeper, as each section connects to the next, until the entire age ultimately ends and He leads people into a beautiful destination. At that time, I could accept the first two stages of work, because these matters were all recorded in the Bible, but I couldn’t accept this third stage of work of the Age of Kingdom, no matter what. I thought that anything outside the Bible wasn’t God’s work. My sister then fellowshipped with me, “The Bible is a record of God’s first two stages of work. God’s work came first, followed by the records of humans. When the Bible was compiled, God’s work in the last days hadn’t yet occurred, so how could it already have been recorded in the Bible?” This made some sense to me. My sister fellowshipped a lot more with me, and what she said aligned with the Bible and sounded quite good, but I was still afraid of making the wrong choice and so I was unwilling to accept it. My sister gave me a book titled Judgment Begins With the House of God and she found a few chapters of God’s words for me to read. I thought to myself that ever since my sister had accepted Almighty God, she’d understood the Bible better than me and had such great faith. She fellowshipped on God revealing the mystery of the incarnation and unraveling the little scroll, and on how God works to cleanse people. What she shared was refreshing and enlightening, and I’d never heard any of those things before in all my years of belief in the Lord. I had never expected her to grow so much in just a year. I was not even as knowledgeable as her, even after studying theology. My sister told me that she’d gained an understanding of all these things from Almighty God’s words. I wondered, “Could it be that Almighty God is truly the return of the Lord Jesus?” In the past, my mother had urged me time and again to seek and investigate, and not to miss the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to attain God’s salvation. Thinking of this, I decided to seek and investigate.

Afterward, I read the words of Almighty God. This is one part of what was said: “The return of Jesus is a great salvation for those who are capable of accepting the truth, but for those who are unable to accept the truth it is a sign of condemnation. You should choose your own path, and should not blaspheme against the Holy Spirit and reject the truth. You should not be an ignorant and arrogant person, but someone who submits to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and longs for and seeks the truth; only in this way will you benefit. I advise you to tread the path of belief in God with care. Do not jump to conclusions; what is more, do not be casual and thoughtless in your belief in God. You should know that, at the very least, those who believe in God should possess humble and God-fearing hearts. Those who have heard the truth and yet turn their nose up at it are foolish and ignorant. Those who have heard the truth and yet carelessly jump to conclusions or condemn it are beset by arrogance. No one who believes in Jesus is qualified to curse or condemn others. You should all be someone with sense and who accepts the truth. Perhaps, having heard the way of truth and having read the word of life, you believe that only one in 10,000 of these words are in line with your viewpoints and the Bible, and then you should continue to seek in that 10,000th of these words. I still advise you to be humble, to not be over-confident, and to not exalt yourself too highly. With the bit of a God-fearing heart you possess, you will gain greater light. If you carefully examine and repeatedly contemplate these words, you shall understand whether or not they are the truth, and whether or not they are life. Perhaps, having only read a few sentences, some people will blindly condemn these words, saying, ‘This is nothing more than some enlightenment of the Holy Spirit,’ or, ‘This is a false christ come to mislead people.’ Those who say such things are blinded by ignorance! You understand too little of the work and wisdom of God, and I advise you to start again from scratch! You must not blindly condemn the words expressed by God because of the appearance of false christs during the last days, and you must not be someone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit because you are afraid of being misled. Would that not be a great pity? If, after much examination, you still believe that these words are not the truth, are not the way, and are not the expression of God, then you shall ultimately be punished, and you shall be without blessings. If you cannot accept such truth spoken so plainly and so clearly, then are you not unfit for God’s salvation? Are you not someone who is not blessed enough to return before the throne of God? Think about it! Do not be rash and impetuous, and do not treat belief in God as a game. Think for the sake of your destination, for the sake of your prospects, for the sake of your life, and do not play yourself. Can you accept these words?(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. By the Time You Behold the Spiritual Body of Jesus, God Will Have Made Heaven and Earth Anew). After reading this passage, I was immediately struck by the words “one in 10,000.” As long as these words could resolve confusion and benefit my life, I couldn’t afford to miss out. The next morning, I said to my sister, “About 60 or 70 percent of what you fellowshipped, I can accept. Many things you talked about, I have never heard before, and the words in this book are powerful. I should seriously investigate and see whether it truly is the work of God.” Thank God! After a period of investigation, I became convinced that Almighty God is indeed the return of the Lord Jesus. Thinking of how the Lord Jesus, whom I had long awaited, has returned, I felt incredibly excited and moved. Yet amidst my joy, I also hesitated. The church adamantly opposes Eastern Lightning. So if I accepted it, wouldn’t they reject and expel me from the church once they found out? Without my position, what would the brothers and sisters think of me? But then I thought, “Eastern Lightning is the true way. Almighty God is indeed the Lord Jesus, whom I have been yearning for all these years. This stage is God’s work to end the age in the last days, and if I don’t accept it, then in the end I will perish, spirit, soul, and body, and I will forever lose the chance to be saved. But I’ve paid a great price to gain the position of teacher. To attend theology school, I left a good government job and forsook my family, and I put so much effort into studying the Bible. I am already the vice president of CCC & TSPM (China Christian Council and Three-Self Patriotic Movement of the Protestant Churches in China are known collectively as CCC & TSPM), and soon I can be a pastor. By then, even more brothers and sisters will look up to and admire me, and I will enjoy all the benefits that my position will bring. If I leave the church now, I’ll have nothing.” But then I thought again, “I already know that God has come to do new work, and if I know of God’s work but don’t accept it, won’t I be left behind? Wouldn’t my faith in the Lord for so many years have been in vain? If I give up the true way, I will be abandoned by the Lord, but if I give up my position, that means the brothers and sisters will reject and expel me from the church.” No matter how much I thought it through, I just couldn’t let go of my position as a teacher. I thought to myself, “The Lord Jesus’ work lasted for two thousand years, so God’s work in this stage won’t end immediately, right? I’ll serve as a pastor for two years—I can’t let all these years of hard work go to waste. Then I’ll come back to Almighty God.” In the end, I decided I would keep preaching in my original church while also attending gatherings at The Church of Almighty God; that way, I felt I could get the best of both worlds.

After this, I began attending gatherings at The Church of Almighty God. I could hear that there was light in the brothers’ and sisters’ fellowship on God’s word, and the experiential understandings they fellowshipped on were quite practical. They also reflected on and came to know their corrupt dispositions based on God’s words, and they found paths of practice from God’s words. Everyone fellowshipped openly and freely, and I found the gatherings quite nourishing. But I did feel a bit awkward, because in my original church, I was the one preaching from the pulpit while others listened from below, but in The Church of Almighty God, I was just an ordinary follower, and here, I found it hard to fellowship a bit on my real experiences, and I could only listen to the fellowship of others. I felt a sense of loss in my heart, thinking to myself, “Once I leave the original church, who will still take me seriously? I might as well stay in it for another two years!” So, I kept preaching in my original church while reading the words of Almighty God in private. Once, after I finished preaching, a sister came up to me and asked, “Teacher Zhao, why was your sermon so dry? It wasn’t enjoyable at all.” I immediately felt my face flush with embarrassment and all I could do was smile awkwardly. During that time, I felt quite miserable. Each time I prepared a sermon, I found I was just rehashing things I’d preached before, with no new light or enlightenment. Later on, I found the words of Almighty God to be really practical and fresh, as they revealed the mysteries of the Bible, and provided truths regarding practice, such as how to quiet one’s heart before God and how to pray. They provided clear paths to follow. During one sermon, I integrated the words of Almighty God, and the brothers and sisters perked up and stopped being so sleepy. After the congregation, the brothers and sisters flocked around me. Some said, “Teacher Zhao, your sermon today was great.” Others said, “Your theological studies weren’t in vain, you really do understand more than we do.” One sister even said, “Teacher Zhao, could you come back and preach for us next time?” I was truly happy inside, thinking, “If I keep preaching like this, I won’t be looked down upon by the brothers and sisters.” But I felt uneasy, wondering, “I’m sure that there is no more work of the Holy Spirit in the church, and that I have nothing left to preach. So I integrated the words of Almighty God into my sermon, leading everyone to mistakenly believe they were my own understandings. Was that right?” The more I thought about it, the more uneasy I felt, so I called my younger sister. My sister sternly said to me, “Do you know you’re just stealing sermons? This is an offense against God’s disposition! The entire religious community has long ceased to have the work of the Holy Spirit. They have nothing to preach. If you don’t accept Almighty God, how can there be the work of the Holy Spirit? How can you have anything to preach? If you bring the words of Almighty God into the church and present them as your own, and get everyone to worship you, are you not misleading people and hindering them from accepting the new work? Sis, you must confess and repent!” She then asked me, “Do you know how John the Baptist was imprisoned? At that time, when the Lord Jesus came and baptized people, John was also baptizing people in another place. When the Lord Jesus came, John should have led everyone to Him, but he allowed people to follow him instead. In this, he was disrupting and disturbing God’s work, and in the end, John was imprisoned and lost his life. Today, Almighty God has come and expressed so many truths. You ought to lead everyone who believes in God before Almighty God to eat and drink His words and return to Him—that is what a person with reason should do. But you not only refuse to accept Almighty God, you are also stealing His words for your preaching, so others see that the sermons you preach are lofty, and all come to admire you and follow you. This is misleading people. You are preventing people from returning to Almighty God, and you are stealing Almighty God’s words for your own preaching, building up your own prestige, and controlling God’s chosen people in your hands. This is a serious act of opposition against God, and it is no different from what the Pharisees did. If you don’t repent, you will be cursed and punished by God!” Hearing these words from my sister, I felt both anxious and fearful. From that moment on, I no longer dared to integrate the words of Almighty God into my sermons.

After that, the Three-Self Church, in collusion with the CCP, intensified its persecution of The Church of Almighty God. At that time, I hadn’t left the Three-Self Church, nor did I participate in the church life of The Church of Almighty God. During those days, I felt drained after each sermon and my heart was filled with darkness, and I couldn’t muster any energy for anything I did. I thought about the gatherings at The Church of Almighty God, where the brothers and sisters spoke freely and found solutions to any difficulties through fellowships, and I remembered how much I enjoyed that sense of liberation. I thought about how the Three-Self Church colluded with the government to persecute The Church of Almighty God, and about how the Three-Self Church was the great city of Babylon. I didn’t want to join the Three-Self Church in doing evil and resisting God, and staying there would only lead me to perish with them in hell. But if I were to leave the Three-Self Church, I wouldn’t be able to be a pastor anymore. This thought made me feel very conflicted and pained. I thought about how I had given up my government job and left my young child at home for the sake of believing in the Lord. It felt like if I were to leave the Three-Self church, then all of those sacrifices and expenditures would go to waste. I not only wouldn’t be able to be a pastor, but I’d also lose the support of my brothers and sisters. When I thought of that, I felt an indescribable sense of torment and pain in my heart. I also thought, “The Three-Self Church reports those gospel preachers from The Church of Almighty God, but if I don’t get involved in this, I won’t be resisting God. Also, I don’t plan on staying in the Three-Self Church for long, I just want to enjoy the prestige of being a pastor for two years and then leave. That way, God won’t reproach me.” I shared my thoughts with my sister. She said, “Why exactly do you believe in God? Will your position save you, or will God save you?” My mother also said, “This is the last time God is saving humanity. The disasters to come will be unbearable for man’s flesh, and these disasters won’t only be directed at the flesh, but also at the soul.” My mother and sister fellowshipped with me time and again, and it made me feel quite distressed. I was well aware that this was the true way and God’s last stage of work, and that I should leave the church immediately, but if I left, I would lose my position and nobody would admire me or look to me anymore. I would also lose my chance to be a pastor. Every year at Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving, everyone always nominated me to preach and host the festivities, and I enjoyed the admiration of my brothers and sisters, which really pleased me. But if I were to accept this new stage of work and leave the church, I’d have no position. If that happened, would I still get to enjoy such occasions? Would my brothers and sisters still admire me? On one hand was the true way, and on the other was my position. I felt very conflicted.

One day, my mother anxiously asked me, “You know that the Lord has come to do new work, so why haven’t you left your church?” I said to my mother, “I want to be a pastor!” My mother fellowshipped with me sincerely, saying, “The Lord Jesus said: ‘Not every one that said to Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that follows the will of My Father which is in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, and in Your name have cast out devils, and in Your name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess to them, I never knew you: depart from Me, you that work iniquity(Matthew 7:21–23). ‘Enter you in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leads to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leads to life, and few there be that find it(Matthew 7:13–14). You only call upon the Lord’s name but don’t accept God’s new work. The Lord says that this is the act of evildoers who can’t enter the kingdom of heaven, and being a pastor won’t save you.” My younger sister also fellowshipped with me, saying, “You clearly have nothing to preach, yet for the sake of your position, you preach and mislead people in the church. Aren’t you just like those hypocritical Pharisees?” She also read to me a passage from the words of Almighty God: “There are those who read the Bible in grand churches and recite it all day long, yet not one among them understands the purpose of God’s work. Not one among them is able to know God; still less can any one among them accord with God’s intentions. They are all worthless, vile people, each standing on high to lecture ‘God.’ They are people who carry God’s banner yet deliberately oppose God, who carry the label of believing in God while eating the flesh and drinking the blood of man. All such people are devils that devour the soul of man, head demons that deliberately disturb those trying to step onto the right path, and stumbling blocks impeding those who seek God. They may appear of ‘sound constitution,’ but how are their followers to know that they are none other than antichrists who lead people to stand against God? How are their followers to know that they are living devils dedicated to the devouring of human souls?(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. All People Who Do Not Know God Are People Who Oppose God). After reading God’s words, my sister said, “You just enjoy the benefits that the position of teacher brings you in the church, and this is opposing God! The money that believers offer to God is used to pay the salaries of you teachers and pastors, but in reality, that money is offered to God, and no one has the right to enjoy it. Enjoying this money is equivalent to stealing the offerings! You know the Lord has returned, yet you cling to your position and livelihood as a teacher and continue to preach in the church to mislead others. Aren’t you just like those Pharisees who eat the flesh and drink the blood of man?” My mother also said, “In the past, I didn’t understand what was meant by ‘eating the flesh and drinking the blood of man,’ but now I understand that anyone who receives a salary in the church is enjoying God’s offerings and stealing offerings. The offerings are what the brothers and sisters have saved up from their frugal living to offer to God, but you pastors and teachers enjoy them. You are eating the flesh and drinking the blood of the believers. Can you account for this before God?” Listening to my mother and sister, I felt extremely upset. Especially when I heard these words of God “eating the flesh and drinking the blood of man,” I felt really distressed. Wasn’t it true that the salary I enjoyed comprised the offerings the brothers and sisters offered to God? I really was “eating the flesh and drinking the blood of man”! My sister continued, “The Lord Jesus rebuked the Pharisees, saying: ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, you make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves(Matthew 23:15). At that time, the Pharisees yearned for the Messiah to come. But when the Messiah—the Lord Jesus—came, even though they knew that the words spoken by the Lord Jesus had authority and power, in order to keep their positions and livelihoods, they not only rejected Him themselves, but also resisted and condemned Him, preventing believers from accepting Him. Then they nailed the Lord Jesus to the cross and were cursed and punished by God. The Bible says: ‘Therefore Jehovah will cut off from Israel head and tail, branch and rush, in one day. The ancient and honorable, he is the head; and the prophet that teaches lies, he is the tail. For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed(Isaiah 9:14–16). Who is the head? This refers to the pastors and elders who know the true way but don’t accept it. So why are the head and the tail cut off? Because they clearly know the true way but don’t accept it, for they can’t let go of their positions and livelihoods, and they oppose and condemn God’s work, hindering believers from accepting the true way. Don’t be fooled by your current position as a teacher. You know the Lord has come, yet you haven’t left your original church. Instead, you try to stand with each foot in a different boat, and cling to your position, preaching in that church to mislead people, and enjoying others worshiping and esteeming you. Have you not become an eternal sinner hindering others from accepting the true way? If you keep clinging to your position and don’t keep up with God’s new work, in the end, you will be cut off by God. Why do we believe in the Lord, after all? Isn’t it just to wait for the Lord to come to save us? If we believe in the Lord just for the position of pastor, then there is only one outcome, which is to go to hell and face punishment! Do you remember Peter and Matthew as recorded in the Bible? When the Lord Jesus called Peter, Peter immediately left his fishing nets and followed the Lord. Matthew was a tax collector, collecting taxes at the customs house, and when he heard the Lord Jesus’ call, he immediately laid down his work and followed Him. Now look at you, hesitating and unable to let go of one thing or another. The Lord Jesus said: ‘Whoever he be of you that forsakes not all that he has, he cannot be My disciple(Luke 14:33). Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 both remind us that, ‘There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.’ When God comes to do a new work, we should follow His footsteps, since those who don’t accept God’s work of the last days and instead obstruct people from returning to God in order to maintain their positions and livelihoods will be condemned and punished by God. Think about it!” Listening to my mother and sister, I was really moved and felt a bit scared, thinking, “The Pharisees were well-versed in the Bible, preached in the church, and appeared pious, but in essence, they did all this for the sake of their positions and livelihoods and to be admired and respected by others. This wasn’t true service to the Lord. They resisted and condemned the Lord Jesus for the sake of their positions and livelihoods, hindering believers from accepting the Lord’s gospel. They served God but opposed Him, and they were condemned and cursed by the Lord Jesus.” I thought of my original church’s preacher, who used the pretense of protecting the flock to seal off the church and prevent believers from investigating the true way, and also pointed at those who preached the kingdom gospel, saying, “From now on, don’t come to our church to preach the gospel. If you come back, I’ll call the police and get all of you arrested!” Also, the president of the Three-Self Patriotic Committee collaborates with the United Front Work Department to arrest those who believe in Almighty God, and when they find people preaching the gospel, they call the police. Looking at myself again, I clearly knew the Lord has returned, but in order to enjoy the blessings of status and be admired, I refused to leave the church, and stole Almighty God’s words for my sermons, exalting myself, building myself up, and getting people to esteem and worship me. Was I not walking the path of the Pharisees? The Lord Jesus pronounced seven woes upon the Pharisees. If I didn’t leave the church, I would be knowingly committing an even greater sin, and my outcome would be the same as that of the Pharisees!

One day, I read a passage of Almighty God’s words that deeply moved me. Almighty God says: “If I were to place some money in front of you right now and give you the freedom to choose—and if I did not condemn you for your choice—then most of you would choose the money and forsake the truth. The better among you would give up the money and choose the truth reluctantly, while those in-between would seize the money in one hand and the truth in the other. Would your true colors thus not become self-evident? When choosing between the truth and anything to which you are loyal, you would all make this choice, and your attitude would remain the same. Is that not so? Are there not many among you who have seesawed between right and wrong? In contests between positive and negative, black and white, you are surely aware of the choices that you have made between family and God, children and God, peace and disruption, riches and poverty, status and ordinariness, being supported and being cast aside, and so on. Between a peaceful family and a broken one, you chose the former, and you did so without any hesitation; between riches and duty, you again chose the former, even lacking the will to return to shore; between luxury and poverty, you chose the former; when choosing between your sons, daughters, wives and husbands, and Me, you chose the former; and between notion and truth, you once again chose the former. Faced with all manner of your evil deeds, I have simply lost faith in you. It simply astounds Me that your hearts are so resistant to being softened. Many years of dedication and effort have apparently brought Me nothing more than your abandonment and resignation, but My hopes for you grow with each passing day, for My day has been completely laid bare before everyone. Yet you persist in seeking dark and evil things, and refuse to loosen your grip on them. What, then, will be your outcome? Have you ever given careful consideration to this? If you were asked to choose again, what then would be your position? Would it still be the former? Would you still bring Me disappointment and wretched sorrow? Would your hearts still possess the sole modicum of warmth? Would you still be unaware of what to do to comfort My heart? At this moment, what do you choose? Will you submit to My words or be averse to them? My day has been laid out before your very eyes, and what you face is a new life and a new starting point. However, I must tell you that this starting point is not the beginning of past new work, but the conclusion of the old. That is, this is the final act. I think you can all understand what is unusual about this starting point. One day soon, however, you will understand the true meaning of this starting point, so let us move past it together and welcome the finale to come! However, what continues to worry Me about you is that, when faced with injustice and justice, you always choose the former. That, though, is all in your past. I, too, hope to forget everything of your past, though this is very difficult to do. Nevertheless, I have a very good way of doing it: Let the future replace the past, and allow the shadows of your past to be dispelled in exchange for your true self of today. Thus must I trouble you to make the choice once more: To whom exactly are you loyal?(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Whom Are You Loyal?). God’s words moved my heart, and I felt as if God was asking me face-to-face, leaving me speechless. I was filled with regret and guilt, and I couldn’t help but cry. I knew that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, and I should have accepted God’s work and left the original church. But I was afraid that if I was expelled from it, I wouldn’t be able to be a pastor, so I stood with one foot in two separate boats, planning to leave after being a pastor for two years. Since there was nothing left to preach in the church, I worried about losing my position, so I stole Almighty God’s words to preach, hoping to gain everyone’s support and admiration. I saw the Three-Self Church unite with the government to resist God, arresting gospel workers of The Church of Almighty God. I knew I should leave quickly, but I continued to stay in my original church to maintain my position. Each time, I chose my status over the truth. I saw that for many years, my loyalty had been to my status and people’s admiration. My family fellowshipped with me time and again, but I stubbornly resisted God for the sake of my status. I didn’t truly believe in God, rather, I was just a person who sought status and the enjoyment of the benefits of one’s position. I was an out-and-out hypocritical Pharisee. What I had done truly broke God’s heart. I decided to leave my original church and practice preaching the gospel with the brothers and sisters from The Church of Almighty God. A few days later, my original church supervisors and co-workers came to find me, saying, “Teacher Zhao, the church has cultivated you for many years and supported your theological studies. You need to quickly rise up and work for the Lord. You can’t let down the Lord’s love for you and the trust of the brothers and sisters!” After hearing their words, I thought, “I have read the words expressed by Almighty God, and I am certain that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, and that He has expressed the truth to perform the work of judging and cleansing mankind in the last days. The church no longer has the work of the Holy Spirit. Even if I become a pastor, without the work and maintenance of the Holy Spirit, it has no value or meaning. I can’t stay on in the church, as staying any longer would lead to my destruction, and just like the Pharisees, I would be condemned by God. I should follow God’s footsteps, and preach God’s gospel of the last days to more people yearning for God’s appearance.” At that moment, I was completely unwavering and rejected them.

Afterward, I began doing my duty of preaching the gospel in The Church of Almighty God. Later, I heard about a pastor who read The Word Appears in the Flesh and acknowledged that Almighty God’s words are expressed by God and that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, but he didn’t accept it because he couldn’t let go of his pastoral position, thereby losing his chance to be saved. It became even more clear to me that pursuing status only leads to resisting God and destroying oneself. If it weren’t for God using my family and the brothers and sisters to fellowship with me repeatedly, I’d be just like that pastor, knowing the true way yet not accepting it, and ultimately, I’d have ended up punished in my spirit, soul, and body, just like the Pharisees. Now, although I’ve lost the chance to be a pastor, I have gained the way of eternal life and received God’s salvation of the last days, which is something that can’t be traded for any high position. In my heart, I am even more grateful for the grace of salvation from Almighty God.

Previous: 5. An Indelible Pain

Next: 7. The Misgivings That Stopped Me From Exposing the Problems of Others

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