By Yang Huai, China

In September 2022, I cooperated with Sister Li Ming to water newcomers. I had just begun training in this duty, and since Li Ming had been watering newcomers for a long time, I became quite dependent on her. She handled most of the tasks related to cultivating people and solving the various difficulties and problems the newcomers were having. Sometimes when Li Ming discussed issues related to cultivating people with me, I would brush her off, thinking that as long as she was mainly in charge, it was enough, and that I only needed to water the newcomers I was responsible for. In my free time, I was also able to read the experiential testimonies of brothers and sisters and listen to hymns, and I felt that doing my duties this way was pretty good.

Later, due to work needs, Li Ming was transferred to another church to do her duties, and I suddenly felt a lot of pressure, thinking, “Will I be able to water so many newcomers by myself? Where can I find someone to help water them on such short notice? If I have to find and cultivate someone new, how much time and energy will that take? I’m already very busy watering newcomers, and now I’ll have to cultivate a novice. Won’t all this make me even busier? How will I find free time for myself?” I felt some resistance in my heart, and I just wanted the leadership to quickly arrange for someone to cooperate with me to lighten my workload. But it would take time to find a suitable waterer. Before leaving, Li Ming mentioned that there was a sister who had good caliber and comprehension, but that she was young and unstable, and so she encouraged me to cultivate this sister more. I agreed verbally, but inside, I felt very wronged and stifled, thinking, “It’s not an easy task to cultivate this sister. How much effort will all this take?” Over the next few days, I was very passive in my duties, and when newcomers had problems or difficulties, I’d feel unmotivated to solve them. I was just going through the motions of attending gatherings with the newcomers, and this yielded no results. One day, while riding my electric bike, it broke down halfway through the journey, so I had to push it, and it took me over an hour to get home. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move a muscle, and I felt completely drained. I knew that my encountering this situation wasn’t a coincidence, so I reflected on myself and prayed to God, “God, ever since I learned that Li Ming was being transferred, I have felt resistant and complained inwardly. I realize my state is wrong, and I am willing to reflect on myself and repent before You. Please guide me to understand Your intention.”

After praying, I recalled a line from God’s words: “The more burden you have for God’s commission, the easier it will be for you to be perfected by Him.” I quickly looked up the passage. Almighty God says: “Eating and drinking of God’s words, practicing prayer, accepting God’s burden, and accepting the tasks He entrusts to you—all of this is so that there may be a path before you. The more burden you have for God’s commission, the easier it will be for you to be perfected by Him. Some are unwilling to coordinate with others in service to God, even when they have been called upon; these are lazy people who wish only to revel in comfort. The more you are asked to serve in coordination with others, the more experience you will gain. Due to having more burdens and experiences, you will gain more opportunities to be perfected. Therefore, if you can serve God with sincerity, then you will be mindful of God’s burden; as such, you will have more opportunities to be perfected by God. It is just such a group of people that is currently being perfected. The more the Holy Spirit touches you, the more time you will devote to being mindful of God’s burden, the more you will be perfected by God, and the more you will be gained by Him—until, in the end, you will become a person whom God uses. At present, there are some who carry no burdens for the church. These people are slack and sloppy, and only care about their own flesh. Such people are extremely selfish, and they are also blind. If you cannot see this matter clearly, you will not carry any burden. The more considerate you are of God’s intentions, the greater the burden He will entrust to you. The selfish are unwilling to suffer such things; they are unwilling to pay the price, and, as a result, they will miss opportunities to be perfected by God. Are they not doing themselves harm?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Be Considerate of God’s Intentions in Order to Attain Perfection). Reflecting on God’s words, I understood that whether or not one has a sense of burden for God’s commission directly affects whether one can be perfected. When one does their duties with a sense of burden and pursues the truth, considering God’s intentions, the Holy Spirit will enlighten and guide that person, allowing them to understand the truth and experience growth in life in the course of their duties. In contrast, those who don’t pursue the truth, are very lazy and unwilling to take on responsibilities and don’t consider God’s intentions, can’t possibly receive the work of the Holy Spirit and will ultimately gain nothing. Reflecting on my state, I saw that I was indeed the kind of lazy and comfort-seeking person exposed by God. When the workload increased and I had to suffer physically, I felt resistant and unwilling to cooperate. With this attitude toward my duties, I certainly wouldn’t be able to obtain the truth or be perfected. Thinking of this, I felt somewhat upset, and understood God’s painstaking intention. Now that Li Ming had been transferred, the watering work had fallen on me, but God wasn’t making things difficult for me; rather, He was training me. Whether it was watering newcomers or cultivating others, when I encountered problems and difficulties, there was no person I could rely on, which encouraged me even more to rely on God and seek the truth, and learn to use the truth to solve problems. This was God’s grace! Yet I had cared for my flesh, fearing hardship and fatigue, and been unwilling to take on responsibilities. I’d pushed away the opportunity for God to perfect me and help me gain the truth. I truly didn’t know what was good for me!

I then read another passage of God’s words: “All who do not pursue the truth perform their duties with a mindset lacking in responsibility. ‘If someone leads, I follow; wherever they lead, I go. I’ll do whatever they’d have me do. As for taking on responsibility and concern, or taking more trouble to do something, doing something with all my heart and strength—I’m not up for that.’ These people are unwilling to pay the price. They are only willing to exert themselves, not to take on responsibility. This is not the attitude with which one truly performs a duty. One must learn to put their heart into their performance of their duty, and a person with a conscience can accomplish this. If one never puts their heart into the performance of their duty, that means they have no conscience, and those without a conscience cannot gain the truth. … Putting your heart into your duty and being able to take on responsibility require you to suffer and to pay a price—it is not enough simply to talk about these things. If you do not put your heart into your duty, always wanting to toil instead, then your duty will certainly not be done well. You will simply go through the motions and nothing more, and you will not know whether you have done your duty well or not. If you put your heart into it, you will gradually come to understand the truth; if you do not, then you will not. When you put your heart into performing your duty and pursuing the truth, you will gradually come to understand God’s intentions, to discover your own corruption and deficiencies, and to master all your various states. When your only focus is on exerting effort, and you do not put your heart into reflecting on yourself, you will be unable to discover the true states in your heart and the myriad reactions and the revelations of corruption that you have in different environments. If you do not know what the consequences will be when problems go unresolved, then you’re in a lot of trouble. … If what you often ponder in your heart is not matters related to your duty, or matters that have to do with the truth, and instead, you are entangled in external things, with your thoughts on affairs of the flesh, will you be able to understand the truth? Will you be able to perform your duty well and live before God? Certainly not. A person like that cannot be saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). I saw that God exposes that people who are unwilling to pay a price in their duties, who always seek comfort and ease in the flesh, and who are completely irresponsible in their work can’t obtain the truth, and God doesn’t approve of them. Reflecting on when I first started watering newcomers, I relied heavily on my partnered sister, thinking that since she had more experience in watering newcomers, it’d be fine to let her fellowship to solve their difficulties. I didn’t care about or inquire into these things at all, acting like a complete outsider. When doing my duties, I just wanted to avoid suffering and fatigue, and I’d sneak in time to do things I enjoyed. Even so, I never felt that I had no sense of burden for my duties. When I learned that Li Ming was going to be transferred, I felt as if I had lost my pillar of support, and when I thought about all the work that would now fall on me alone, I felt overwhelmed. I began to consider my comfort, always wanting to choose the easier tasks, and when things didn’t go my way, I became negative and passive, neglecting to cultivate those who needed to be cultivated and going through the motions with watering the newcomers. I used to say that I wanted to satisfy God and consider His intentions, but when it came to actually suffering and paying a price, I’d shrink back and not even want to put in any effort. In what way did I have a heart that considered God’s intentions? Thinking of this, I felt very guilty. Afterward, I took the initiative to look into the difficulties and problems of the newcomers and fellowshipped to help them. I also took time to cultivate others more. Although I had to worry more and suffer more, I felt peace and ease in my heart.

A month later, I was transferred to another church to water newcomers. I heard from the leaders that Sister Yang Qing had poor work capabilities and wasn’t up to the role of team leader, and they wanted me to take on the role. I felt a lot of pressure, thinking, “Being a team leader involves not only watering newcomers, but also summarizing deviations in work and fellowshipping to solve the problems of waterers. Can I really handle all this work? This sounds like a lot to worry about!” I quickly tried to decline the role and said, “Yang Qing has been doing watering work for many years and has come to grasp some principles. Why not let her continue as team leader for now? I can support her, and if this doesn’t work out, we can reassign her later.” The leaders saw that I was unwilling to be a team leader, so they didn’t push me, and I couldn’t help but heave a sigh of relief.

Later, I found that Yang Qing had an arrogant disposition, and that she relied on experience and adherence to regulations in her duties. When I tried to fellowship and correct her, she couldn’t accept it, and she continued to do things the same way. I thought to myself, “Yang Qing not only has poor work capabilities, but she also can’t understand the principles being fellowshipped, and her caliber is too poor. If this continues, it will delay the work. She really isn’t suited for the role of team leader.” But then I thought, “If we dismiss her, who will take the lead? The other brothers and sisters in the team have just begun to train and don’t yet have a grasp on principles. Although I also have many shortcomings, I have been watering newcomers for a while and have come to understand some principles, so I’d be the more suitable option.” But as soon as I thought that being a team leader was too much pressure, that I’d have to manage everything, and that I’d have to exhaust myself with all the worrying I’d have to do, I quickly dismissed the idea, thinking instead, “Why not just fellowship more with Yang Qing and help her out in the work? That should be fine.” In this way, I saw Yang Qing’s problems but didn’t report them. Just then, a brother in the church had a car accident and broke his arm. I heard that he had been consistently slippery and just going through the motions in his duties, and after being dismissed, he didn’t come to know himself and didn’t repent or change. Now that his arm was broken, he could no longer do his duties even if he wanted to. This incident really struck me. I saw that in the course of their duties, if people are sly, slack off, are negligent of their proper work, and never repent, once they lose the opportunity to do their duties, it is too late for regret. I felt that the brother’s experience was a reminder and a warning for me, and I recalled a passage of God’s words: “If you perform your duty perfunctorily, and approach it with an irreverent attitude, what will the result be? You will perform your duty poorly, though you are capable of performing it well—your performance will not be up to standard, and God will be very dissatisfied with the attitude you have toward your duty. If you could have prayed to God, sought the truth, and put your whole heart and mind into it, if you could have cooperated in this way, then God would have prepared everything for you in advance, so that when you were handling matters, everything would fall into place, and get good results. You would not need to exert a vast amount of energy; when you did your utmost to cooperate, God would have already arranged everything for you. If you are slippery and slack off, if you do not attend properly to your duty, and always go down the wrong path, then God will not act upon you; you will lose this opportunity, and God will say, ‘You are no good; I cannot use you. Go stand off to the side. You like being wily and slacking off, don’t you? You like being lazy, and taking it easy, do you not? Well then, take it easy forevermore!’ God will give this grace and opportunity to someone else. What do you say: Is this a loss or a gain? (A loss.) It is an enormous loss!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I felt how God’s righteous disposition doesn’t tolerate man’s offense. The opportunity for people to do their duties is God’s grace. God’s intention is for us to seek the truth and act according to principles in our duties, to be able to submit to God and be loyal to Him, and to do our duties in a way that is up to standard. But if I didn’t cherish such opportunities, and did my duties in a slippery and slack manner without putting in my full effort, treating my duties lightly, I would be spurned by God and set aside, ignored by Him. At first, the leaders wanted me to be the team leader, but I was afraid of suffering and hard work, so I refused the duty. But now that it had been determined that Yang Qing wasn’t suited to be the team leader, continuing to keep her would delay the watering work, so I had to quickly report her issues. But I was afraid that if she was dismissed and I took on the role of team leader, I would have to take on more concerns, so for the sake of the comfort of my flesh, even though I saw Yang Qing’s problems, I didn’t report them, even allowing her to continue to obstruct and harm the church’s work. I then realized just how serious the consequences of being sly and slacking off in my duties were, and that if I still didn’t repent, I would end up just like that brother, and I may very well lose the opportunity to do my duties. I quickly prayed to God, willing to repent and seek the truth to solve my problems.

In my seeking, I read some of God’s words: “Since you are a person, you should contemplate what a person’s responsibilities are. Responsibilities that the nonbelievers value most, such as being filial, providing for your parents, and making a name for your family need not be mentioned. These are all empty and devoid of real meaning. What is the very minimum responsibility that a person should fulfill? The most realistic thing is how you perform your duty well now. Only ever being satisfied with going through the motions is not fulfilling your responsibility, and only being able to speak words and doctrines is not fulfilling your responsibility. Only practicing the truth and doing things according to principle is fulfilling your responsibility. Only when your practicing of the truth has been effective, and of benefit to people, will you have truly fulfilled your responsibility. No matter what duty you are doing, only when you persist in acting according to the truth principles in all things, will you have truly fulfilled your responsibility. Going through the motions according to the human way of doing things is being perfunctory; only sticking to the truth principles is properly performing your duty and fulfilling your responsibility. And when you fulfill your responsibility, is this not the manifestation of loyalty? This is the manifestation of performing your duty loyally. Only when you have this sense of responsibility, this aspiration and desire, and this manifestation of loyalty with regard to your duty, shall God look upon you with favor and approve of you. If you don’t even have this sense of responsibility, God will treat you as an idler, a blockhead, and will despise you. … As such, if you want God to look favorably upon you, you should at least make yourself trustworthy in the eyes of other people. If you want others to trust you, to look favorably upon you, to think highly of you, then at the very least you must be dignified, have a sense of responsibility, be true to your word, and be trustworthy. Furthermore, you must come to be diligent, responsible, and loyal before God—then you will have essentially fulfilled God’s requirements of you. Then there will be hope of you gaining God’s approval, will there not?” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). After reading God’s words, I felt deeply pierced to the heart and unsettled. I realized I had been slippery and irresponsible in my duties, making myself completely untrustworthy. I knew that Yang Qing wasn’t suitable for the role of team leader due to her poor caliber and also that at that time, there were no other suitable candidates for the leadership position in the team, but I was still unwilling to take on the burden to protect the church’s work. I truly had no sense of responsibility at all! I thought about how some parents raise their children to adulthood, but when the children grow up, they only care about their own enjoyment and pleasure, neglecting their parents when they fall ill or need care in old age. Such people lack conscience and humanity. I had enjoyed so much of God’s watering and provision through His words, but when the watering work needed people’s cooperation, I was selfish and despicable and only cared about my fleshly comfort, not considering the church’s work at all. I truly had no humanity! I began to loathe myself and felt ashamed of my actions, but even more so, I felt regretful and guilty, and I became unwilling to live selfishly and despicably any longer.

Afterward, I wondered, “Why is it that whenever it comes to a duty that requires fleshly suffering, I feel resistant and am unwilling to cooperate? What is the root of this problem?” One day, I came across a passage of God’s words: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Reflecting on God’s words, I understood that Satan uses school education, social influences, as well as the thoughts and statements of famous and great figures to poison people, instilling various satanic poisons and philosophies in people, like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” and “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can.” People live by these things, treating the enjoyment of the flesh as their goal and direction of pursuit, and they begin to pursue food, clothing and enjoyment of the flesh and evil trends, leading to an increasingly degenerate life, devoid of the conscience and reason of normal humanity. I realized I was just like this, especially indulging in physical comfort. Before finding God, I sought comfort at work and avoided suffering and fatigue. Whether I earned a lot or a little didn’t matter; just having enough to eat and drink was sufficient. When I saw people around me suffering, striving, and exhausting themselves to live better lives, I thought they were foolish, believing that life is only a few short decades long, so why make things hard on themselves? Now, while doing my duty in God’s house, I still held worldly views, always craving physical comfort and not wanting to suffer or exhaust myself. Sometimes, after a few busy days of doing my duty and feeling mentally tense, I always wanted to look for opportunities to relax physically and not wear myself out. When it came time to bear a burden, suffer, and pay a price, I always wanted to shrink back or push the task onto someone else. People who are truly possessed of conscience and reason consider how to repay God’s love in their duties, striving with all their might to do their utmost and achieve good results in their duties, but I, a selfish and despicable person, only considered my own physical interests, and was slippery and slacked off, being unwilling to put in my full effort into my duties. While my body was comfortable and I didn’t suffer much, I lost many opportunities to gain the truth. I repeatedly shirked and refused my duties and rebelled against God, and if this continued, I would just end up being spurned and eliminated by God. This was a path that led to death! At this moment, I truly grasped the meaning of what is said in the Book of Proverbs: “The prosperity of fools shall destroy them.” I felt a sense of lingering fear in my heart. If I hadn’t heard about that brother’s car accident, I wouldn’t have reflected on myself, and I wouldn’t have realized the serious consequences of my pursuit of comfort, much less have been able to repent or change. I silently thanked God.

Later, I came across another passage of God’s words, which provided me with a path of practice. Almighty God says: “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty. If you do not carry out what you know and understand, and if you only put in 50 or 60 percent of your effort, then you are not putting all your heart and strength into it. Rather, you are sly and slacking off. Are people who perform their duties in this way honest? Absolutely not. God has no use for such slippery and deceitful people; they must be eliminated. God only uses honest people to perform duties. Even loyal laborers must be honest. People who are perennially perfunctory and sly and looking for ways to slack off are all deceitful, and are all demons. None of them truly believe in God, and they shall all be eliminated. Some people think, ‘Being an honest person is just about telling the truth and not telling lies. It’s easy to be an honest person, really.’ What do you think of this sentiment? Is being an honest person so limited in scope? Absolutely not. You must reveal your heart and give it to God; this is the attitude an honest person ought to have. That is why an honest heart is very precious. What does this imply? That an honest heart can control your behavior and change your state. It can lead you to make the right choices, and to submit to God and gain His approval. A heart like this is truly precious. If you have an honest heart like this, then that is the state you should live in, that is how you should behave, and that is how you should give of yourself” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I understood that God likes honest people and those who have a sense of burden and responsibility for their duties. Such people may have lower caliber, but their hearts can be directed toward God’s house. They put all their heart and strength in their duties without planning for their own interests. God approves of such people. I became willing to practice according to God’s words. Although being a team leader would encounter some difficulties in work, God doesn’t place burdens on people that are too heavy for them to bear. I had to consider God’s intention, prioritize the church’s work, and do my utmost to do what I could, without being sly or slacking off, but with a heart of submission to God in my duties. I thought of Noah building the ark. At that time, industry was underdeveloped, and transportation was limited, and Noah wasn’t a professional shipbuilder. Building such a massive ark was very difficult for Noah, but when faced with God’s commission, Noah didn’t back down, and he didn’t consider or plan for his own physical interests. As soon as God’s command came to him, he immediately began to practice without delay. Noah aligned his heart with God’s heart and made God’s burden his own burden. He had a simple and submissive heart toward God’s commission, and this is most precious and what God approves of. The leaders asked me to be a team leader to spur the brothers and sisters on in doing their watering work well, and this would only require me to endure a little more suffering and pay a little more of a price, but I had no attitude of obedience. My attitude toward my duty was worlds away from Noah’s! Comparing myself to Noah’s simplicity, honesty, and submission, I felt very ashamed and guilty. Now that the watering work had been hindered, I should consider God’s intention, take the initiative to shoulder it, and do my utmost to accomplish what I should and could do, without leaving any regrets. So I honestly reported on Yang Qing’s issues; as a result, the leaders dismissed her, and I became the team leader.

At first, as I trained as the team leader, I was lacking in a lot of areas and had many problems to resolve, and I often worked overtime. Over time, I began to have some negative emotions, feeling that there were too many concerns in being a team leader, and that my original duty was much easier. When I thought this way, I realized that I was beginning to care for my flesh again, so I prayed to God in my heart, willing to rebel against my flesh. I read a passage of God’s words: “Today, I love whomever can follow My will, whomever can show consideration for My burdens, and whomever can give their all for Me with a true heart and sincerity. I will constantly enlighten them, and not let them slip away from Me. I often say, ‘To those who sincerely expend for Me, I shall surely bless you greatly.’ What does ‘bless’ refer to? Do you know? In the context of the current work of the Holy Spirit, it refers to the burdens I give to you. For all who are able to carry a burden for the church, and who sincerely offer themselves up for My sake, their burdens and their earnestness are both blessings that come from Me. In addition, My revelations to them are also a blessing from Me” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 82). Contemplating God’s words, I understood God’s intention. After becoming a team leader, I interacted with more people, events, and things. Whenever I encountered a problem or difficulty, I needed to learn to rely on God and seek the truth to resolve it. This was more beneficial for my life growth, and this was God’s grace! Thinking of this, I felt encouraged and resolved. Afterward, I actively followed up on work, and whenever I found that the brothers and sisters were in poor states, I would fellowship the truth to reach a resolution. I also sought the truth principles concerning issues in the work. By practicing like this, I felt that whether in my life entry or in my duties, I was making some progress. After every exchange with the brothers and sisters, they said they gained something, and I felt very happy. I saw that by being willing to take on responsibilities actively, I not only benefited myself but was also able to help others. I came to realize that not living for the flesh and seeking to do my duty well brought me a sense of ease and peace.