By Li Yan, China

On the morning of March 21, 2023, I received a letter from a sister, saying that after their gathering, a leader named Zhao Jun had been arrested while out handling some matters, and she asked us to quickly handle the aftermath work. Upon hearing this news, I felt a wave of anxiety, and my heart pounded, “Zhao Jun has been working in our church for over a year, and he has been to many host homes, so those doing their duties and the books of God’s words in those homes need to be relocated. Where can we move them at this time? If the police find out that Zhao Jun was the main leader responsible for the work here, they will likely stake out this area to catch people. Just a few days ago, Zhao Jun was at the host home where I lived.” I felt like I was in great danger, and that I could be arrested at any moment. I kept calling out to God in my heart, asking Him to protect my heart. After praying, I felt a little more at peace. I recalled these words of God: “Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free. If man harbors timid and fearful thoughts, it is because Satan has fooled them, afraid that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 6). God’s words made me understand that this situation was a test for me. If I was cowardly and failed to fulfill my responsibilities, and this led to the books of God’s words falling into the hands of the police, wouldn’t this be neglecting my duty? I had to protect the interests of the church and experience God’s work with faith. Realizing this gave me confidence, and I hurried to discuss this with my partnered brothers and sisters, and we split up to relocate the books of God’s words and those doing their duties.

Just after we finished the relocation, we received a letter from the upper leadership, stating that Sister Liu Wei, who had been cooperating with me, had also been arrested. Confronted by these continuous arrests, I suddenly felt weak and limp all over, thinking, “How could Liu Wei have been arrested too? I have been cooperating with her in our duties for over a year. Does that mean I’m also being watched by the police? If I am being watched, I could be arrested at any time or anywhere! If the police catch me, they’ll beat me to the brink of death. What if they do actually end up beating me to death or crippling me?” I also thought about how Liu Wei knew the home addresses of many of the brothers and sisters doing their duties, so I had to quickly relocate the brothers and sisters and the books of God’s words that were at risk. Thinking about all this made me extremely anxious, so I quickly knelt down to pray to God, “God! The news of Liu Wei’s arrest has left me feeling really anxious and afraid; I don’t know what to do at this time. God! My stature is too small, and I don’t know how to get through this situation. Please enlighten and guide me and give me faith.” After praying, I recalled these words of God: “You should know that all of your surrounding environment is permitted and arranged by Me. Be clear on this and satisfy My heart in the environment that I have given to you. Do not be afraid of this and that, the Almighty God of hosts will surely be with you; He is your backup force, and He is your shield” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 26). God’s words gave me faith and courage. God was my support, and so long as I relied on and looked to Him, He would be with me. Now that Liu Wei had been arrested, I had to find a way to relocate the books of God’s words and those doing their duties—this was my duty and responsibility. With this in mind, I felt less anxious. That night, some time after 10 o’clock, a brother and I divided up these tasks between ourselves.

Shortly after, we received another letter from the upper leadership, stating that Zhao Jun had confessed to all the duties he had done, but that at this time, it was still unknown if he had betrayed anything else, so we were warned to be careful. I thought, “If Zhao Jun reveals that I’m a leader, will the police ever go easy on me? If I’m arrested, will I be able to withstand the torture of those CCP demons? What if I’m beaten to death?” The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became, and I really wanted to leave this dangerous place as soon as possible. But then I thought about how my partnered brothers and sisters had been arrested, and about how there was aftermath work to be done. If I failed to fulfill my responsibilities at this critical moment, wouldn’t I just be like a turtle shrinking back into its shell? If I hid in the face of danger, disregarding the safety of the books of God’s words and of the brothers and sisters, this would be completely irresponsible and a serious betrayal of God! But I was afraid that if I didn’t leave, I’d be arrested. I prayed to God, “God, I want to give up my duty and leave this place, but I know this isn’t in accordance with Your intentions. God, please give me faith and strength so that I can stand firm in this situation.”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “Regardless of how ‘powerful’ Satan is, regardless of how audacious and ambitious it is, regardless of how great is its ability to inflict damage, regardless of how wide-ranging are the techniques with which it corrupts and lures man, regardless of how clever are the tricks and schemes with which it intimidates man, regardless of how changeable is the form in which it exists, it has never been able to create a single living thing, has never been able to set down laws or rules for the existence of all things, and has never been able to rule and control any object, whether animate or inanimate. Within the cosmos and the firmament, there is not a single person or object that was born from it, or exists because of it; there is not a single person or object that is ruled by it, or controlled by it. On the contrary, it not only has to live under the dominion of God, but, moreover, must submit to all of God’s orders and commands. Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God. In the eyes of God, Satan is inferior to the lilies on the mountain, to the birds flying in the air, to the fish in the sea, and to the maggots on the earth. Its role among all things is to serve all things, to serve mankind, and to serve God’s work and His plan of management. Regardless of how malicious its nature, and how evil its essence, the only thing it can do is to dutifully abide by its function: being of service to God, and providing a counterpoint to God. Such is the substance and position of Satan. Its essence is unconnected to life, unconnected to power, unconnected to authority; it is merely a plaything in God’s hands, just a machine in service to God!” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). Pondering God’s words, I gained faith and strength, and I realized that all things and events are in God’s hands. No matter how savage and wicked the great red dragon is, it is merely a pawn in God’s hand, and a tool that serves God in order to perfect His chosen people. Without God’s permission, Satan can’t do anything to us, no matter how savage it is. I recalled a night in December 2012, during a gathering, when seven or eight police officers burst in. While they weren’t paying attention, I seized my chance and ran out. But when I reached the gate of the community, I was blocked by two police officers standing guard, so I turned and ran back. The police mobilized a team to search every household in the community to capture me. Just as they were about to search the second floor where I was hiding, I hid in the corner by the stairs, and when the police came around to search the side of it, I escaped through the community’s main entrance. To my surprise, the two guards didn’t even recognize me, and I narrowly escaped a disaster. And also this time, with Zhao Jun and Liu Wei being arrested, according to our imaginings, our location seemed very dangerous, and during this time, I was constantly dealing with aftermath work and running the risk of being monitored and arrested at any moment. But without God’s permission, the police couldn’t arrest me no matter how savage they were. From these facts, I saw God’s almightiness and sovereignty, and that everything was in God’s hands. If God didn’t allow it, the police couldn’t capture me however much they wanted to, and if God allowed me to be arrested, then I wouldn’t be able to escape no matter where I hid. Realizing this, I gained faith and strength, and I continued handling the aftermath work.

On the morning of May 16, I learned that another partnered sister, Xin Yi, had also been arrested, and my heart felt heavy. The upper leadership sent a letter urging us to quickly notify the brothers and sisters in Xin Yi’s host home to relocate. I thought, “If I go to notify them and the police are lying in wait there, wouldn’t I be walking into a trap? What if the police know that I’m a leader? They would torture me even worse. Even if they don’t kill me, they will surely cripple me! And what if I die? Could I still be saved then?” The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became. I felt I was in great danger. I walked to the window and sighed deeply, wondering, “Should I go or not? If I don’t go, the other brothers and sisters won’t be able to find Xin Yi’s host home. Am I just going to look on as the brothers and sisters there get arrested?” I thought long and hard about it, feeling pained and unsure of what to do. I knelt down and prayed to God, “God, my faith is too small; I find myself living in fear and cowardice and don’t want to go out to notify the brothers and sisters. I’m so selfish! God, I’m willing to rely on and look to You. Please grant me the faith and strength to get through this situation with faith, and please guide me to understand my corruption.”

After praying, I read these words of God: “Antichrists are extremely selfish and despicable. They do not have true faith in God, much less loyalty to God; when they encounter an issue, they only protect and safeguard themselves. For them, nothing is more important than their own safety. As long as they can live and won’t get arrested, they don’t care how much harm is done to the work of the church. These people are extremely selfish, they don’t think of the brothers and sisters at all, or of the work of the church, they only think of their own safety. They are antichrists. So when such things befall those who are loyal to God and have true faith in God, how do they handle them? How does what they do differ from what antichrists do? (When such things befall those who are loyal to God, they will think of any way to safeguard the interests of the house of God, to protect against losses to the offerings of God, and they will make the necessary arrangements for the leaders and workers, and the brothers and sisters, to minimize losses. Antichrists, meanwhile, make sure they are protected first. They are not concerned about the work of the church or the safety of God’s chosen people, and when the church is faced with arrests, it results in a loss to church work.) Antichrists abandon the work of the church and God’s offerings, and they do not arrange for people to handle the aftermath. This is the same as permitting the great red dragon to seize God’s offerings and His chosen people. Is this not a covert betrayal of God’s offerings and His chosen people? When those who are loyal to God know clearly that an environment is dangerous, they still brave the risk of doing the work of handling the aftermath, and they keep the losses to God’s house to a minimum before they themselves withdraw. They do not give priority to their own safety. Tell Me, in this wicked country of the great red dragon, who could ensure that there is no danger at all in believing in God and doing a duty? Whatever duty one takes on, it entails some risk—yet the performance of duty is commissioned by God, and while following God, one must take on the risk of doing their duty. One should exercise wisdom, and one has need of taking measures to ensure their safety, but one should not put their personal safety first. They should consider God’s intentions, putting the work of His house first and putting the spread of the gospel first. Completing God’s commission of them is what matters most, and it comes first. Antichrists give top priority to their personal safety; they believe that nothing else has anything to do with them. They do not care when something happens to someone else, regardless of who it might be. As long as nothing bad happens to the antichrists themselves, they feel at ease. They are devoid of any loyalty, which is determined by the antichrists’ nature essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God exposes that antichrists are really selfish and despicable. When things happen, they only consider their own safety and prioritize their own interests, disregarding the lives of the brothers and sisters and the interests of God’s house. They have no loyalty to God whatsoever. Wasn’t I behaving just like an antichrist? When faced with danger, I considered my safety first. When Xin Yi was captured, I knew I should go out and notify the brothers and sisters living with her to relocate, otherwise, they might be arrested by the police. But I was afraid of being arrested, crippled, or beaten to death, so I didn’t want to go in order to save my life. When things happened, all I thought about was myself, disregarding the safety of my brothers and sisters. I was truly selfish and despicable and lacking in humanity! A person who truly has humanity and is loyal to God can set aside their interests to protect the work of the church when faced with danger. But when I was faced with danger, I shrank back like a turtle in its shell, trying to drag out my miserable existence. I paid no attention to the interests of God’s house or to the safety of my brothers and sisters. How was I any different from a shameful Judas? I thought of how the saints throughout history sacrificed their youth and lives to preach the gospel. They bore beautiful testimony for God amidst persecution and tribulation. I have accepted God’s work of the last days and been enjoying the truths He has expressed. God has given us more than what the apostles and prophets of the past had. With the arrival of persecution and tribulation, the leaders and my partnered brothers and sisters around me were being arrested one after another, while God had protected me from being captured. If I had any conscience, I should stand up to protect the interests of the church, and protect the safety of my brothers and sisters. But I just considered my interests at all times and didn’t consider God’s intentions at all. I was less loyal than a watchdog is to its owner. I was truly unworthy of being called human! Realizing this, I hated myself for being so selfish and despicable.

Later, I thought again, asking myself, “I really cherish my life, and I’m always afraid of being arrested or tortured to death. How can this problem be resolved?” I read a passage of God’s words: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—every sort of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Were they lawfully executed for their crimes? No. They were condemned, beaten, scolded, and put to death because they spread the Lord’s gospel and were rejected by the people of the world—that is how they were martyred. Let us not speak of the final outcome of those martyrs, or of God’s definition of their conduct, but ask this: When they arrived at the end, did the ways that they met the end of their lives accord with human notions? (No, it did not.) From the perspective of human notions, they paid such a great price to spread the work of God, but were ultimately killed by Satan. This does not accord with human notions, but this is precisely what happened to them. It is what God allowed. What truth can be sought in this? Was God allowing them to die this way His curse and condemnation, or was it His plan and blessing? It was neither. What was it? People now reflect on their deaths with much heartache, but that was how things were. Those who believed in God died that way, how is this to be explained? When we mention this topic, you put yourselves in their position, so are your hearts sad, and do you feel a hidden pain? You think, ‘These people did their duty to spread God’s gospel and should be considered good people, so how could they come to such an end and such an outcome?’ Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their means of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the means of their death and departure was nor how it happened, it was not how God defined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, they used precisely those means to condemn this world and to testify to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to testify to God’s deeds, to testify to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to confirm to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redemption He did for all humanity allows humanity to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. Those who were martyred for spreading the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to what extent did they perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives. Family, wealth, and the material things of this life are all external things; the only thing that is related to the self is life. To every living person, life is the thing most worthy of being treasured, the most precious thing and, as it happens, these people were able to offer their most precious possession—life—as confirmation of and testimony to God’s love for mankind. Until the day they died, they did not deny God’s name, nor did they deny God’s work, and they used their last moments of life to testify to the existence of this fact—is this not the highest form of testimony? This is the best way of doing one’s duty; this is what it is to fulfill one’s responsibility. When Satan threatened and terrorized them, and, in the end, even when it made them pay the price of their lives, they did not abandon their responsibility. This is what it is to fulfill one’s duty to the utmost extent. What do I mean by this? Do I mean to have you use the same method to testify of God and to spread His gospel? You do not necessarily need to do so, but you must understand that this is your responsibility, that if God needs you to, you should accept it as something you are honor-bound to do” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). After reading God’s words, I understood. If I can truly see the value of life and death, and understand the meaning of life, I can avoid being constrained by death in the face of persecution and tribulation, and I can uphold my duty and be willing to sacrifice my life to stand firm in my testimony. I thought of the saints throughout the ages who have sacrificed their lives and given their blood to preach the gospel of the Lord Jesus. Countless have been martyred for God. Some were stoned to death, and some were dragged to death by horses. They paid the price of their lives to bear strong and resounding testimony to God. Their deaths were meaningful, for they suffered persecution for righteousness and met with God’s approval. Though their bodies died, their souls didn’t perish. Some people, after being captured, betray God and sell out their brothers and sisters out of fear of torture, and they become shameful Judases. They seriously offend God’s disposition and lose God’s salvation. Even if their bodies live, they are like walking corpses, and in the end, they will descend into hell to be punished, and there, they will suffer forever! Just as the Lord Jesus said: “For whoever will save his life shall lose it: and whoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25). At this moment, I finally understood the meaning of this verse of God’s words. Before, I couldn’t see the matter of death clearly. I was afraid of being captured and killed by the police, thinking that if I died, I couldn’t be saved. Now I realized that the death of the body isn’t real death, and while the body may die, the soul is with God. A person being able to die for righteousness in the face of persecution is approved of and remembered by God. Now that the brothers and sisters were in danger, at this critical moment, I couldn’t consider my safety any longer. I had to quickly think of a way to inform the brothers and sisters to relocate. Even if I ended up being captured by the police and tortured to death, such a death would be meaningful. Realizing this, I felt calm and at ease. That night, I went to the host home where Xin Yi had stayed, and along the way, I kept praying to God. When I walked under the high-definition surveillance camera, I felt a bit scared again, so I took a detour through a remote back alley. When I got to the downstairs of the building, I became nervous again, and I was very worried that there might be police lurking and watching. I kept calling out to God in my heart. I thought of these words of God: “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing in which I do not have the final say. Is there anything that is not in My hands?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 1). God’s words gave me faith, and I didn’t feel so afraid anymore. In the end, all the brothers and sisters were successfully relocated, and my worried heart finally settled down.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words, which helped me understand the significance of God’s use of the great red dragon in His service. God says: “Those who truly follow God are able to withstand the test of their work, whereas those who do not truly follow God are incapable of withstanding any of God’s trials. Sooner or later they will be expelled, while the overcomers will remain in the kingdom. Whether or not man truly seeks God is determined by the test of his work, that is, by God’s trials, and has nothing to do with the decision by man himself. God does not reject any person lightly; all that He does can utterly convince man. He does not do anything that is invisible to man, or any work that cannot convince man. Whether man’s belief is true or not is proved by the facts and cannot be decided by man. That ‘wheat cannot be made into tares, and tares cannot be made into wheat’ is without doubt. All those who truly love God will ultimately remain in the kingdom, and God will not treat anyone who truly loves Him poorly” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Work and Man’s Practice). God allows the great red dragon to persecute and capture Christians, to use the service of the great red dragon to test our work, and see whether we have genuine faith and loyalty to Him. This is a test for every believer in God. Some people, due to cowardice, don’t have the courage to continue their faith in God, some hide out of fear of being captured and don’t have the courage to do their duties, and others, unable to withstand torture after being captured, betray God and become Judases. These people are the tares and disbelievers revealed by God’s work, and they will ultimately be eliminated. However, some, no matter how dire the situation, are able to persist in their duties and protect the church’s work, and even if captured and tortured, they would prefer to go to prison rather than become Judases. They bear resounding testimony for God. These are the people who truly believe in and are loyal to God. Through the service of the great red dragon, the true and false believers, as well as the wheat and tares in the church, are all revealed. Unknowingly, people are categorized according to their kind. God’s work is so wise! At the same time, through the CCP’s arrests and persecution, I saw how small my faith was. Usually, when I wasn’t in a dangerous situation, I prayed before God that I was willing to forsake and expend myself for Him and repay His love. But when faced with danger, I only thought about myself, and in critical moments, I disregarded the safety of my brothers and sisters and the books of God’s words. Wasn’t I deceiving God? If it hadn’t been for the revelation of these facts and the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, I would have had no knowledge of my selfish and despicable satanic disposition, I would still have thought myself able to forsake my family and career and loyal to God, and that I’d surely earn His approval, and I’d still have thought that once God’s work was completed, I would be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven. It was truly pathetic that I didn’t know myself!

Over this period, the persecution and arrests carried out by the great red dragon revealed my corruption. I saw that I lacked truth realities, and that this was very dangerous, and this also urged me to pursue the truth and strive upward, so that I could withstand tests when facing more adverse situations in the future, and ultimately overcome Satan and bear testimony for God. Experiencing these situations has been very beneficial for my life. This has been God’s salvation for me! After going through this, my heart was filled with gratitude toward God. It is through the guidance of God’s words that I gained some understanding of God’s authority and almightiness and sovereignty, strengthening my faith. Thank God!