By Su Fengshuang, China

In 2021, I was doing the duty of a leader in the church. At that time, Sister Li Hua was partnered with me. I was primarily responsible for gospel work, while Li Hua was responsible for the work of cleansing the church. We worked together on other tasks. One day, I received a letter from a sister that informed us that Fang Xia hadn’t been making any progress in organizing the cleansing materials, and this was hindering the progression of the work. The letter asked us to weigh up whether she needed to be reassigned. I knew that Fang Xia was not of very good caliber, and that organizing the cleansing materials was quite an arduous job for her, so she did need to be reassigned. But then I thought that the cleansing work was Li Hua’s responsibility. If there were any problems in it, she should be the one to fellowship to resolve them. The gospel work, which I was responsible for, involved many things and contained a lot of problems. Previously, I had even been pruned by the upper-level leaders because some work had not been implemented. If I didn’t follow up on it and implement it soon, I might be pruned again. I thought it was more important to put my time and energy into the gospel work. Those two days, Li Hua was away from our host house attending to something, and so I asked another sister to pass on a message that she should quickly understand what was going on with Fang Xia when she got back and reassign her in a timely manner. Afterward, I busied myself with the work I was responsible for. Some time later, another sister reported problems with Fang Xia, saying that she didn’t bear a burden in the performance of her duty and when the sisters pointed out her problems she didn’t accept it, and even revealed impetuousness. Everyone felt a bit constrained by her. I thought to myself, “Could it be that Li Hua didn’t go and find out what was going on last time? Why has Fang Xia still not been dismissed? She has become a disruption and disturbance in the midst of our brothers and sisters, and must be dismissed urgently.” At the time, Li Hua was unable to come out and do her duty because of risks to her safety. To compensate, we selected another leader, Ding Yan, to come and take on the work Li Hua had been responsible for. I thought to myself, “Ding Yan has done cleansing work before, and is better at discerning people than I am. I will get Ding Yan to dismiss Fang Xia.” I couldn’t have guessed that when Ding Yan came back after the gathering, she said, “I was worried that if I dismissed Fang Xia the first time I met her, she might have a bad opinion of me, so I didn’t dismiss her.” At the time, all I was thinking about was that the cleansing work was Ding Yan’s responsibility, and if she didn’t dismiss Fang Xia, that was her failure to fulfill her responsibility and not my problem, and so I didn’t get involved in this matter. Later, the upper-level leaders found out about this matter and arranged for somebody to quickly dismiss Fang Xia. They also sent a letter asking us why we had not promptly dismissed and reassigned unsuitable people, and asked us to write reflections and understandings regarding this matter. At the time, I didn’t have the slightest bit of understanding of myself. I thought that this work was not in my remit, and even if someone were to be held accountable, it should not be me. It was Li Hua and Ding Yan who had failed to dismiss Fang Xia promptly. The upper-level leaders saw that I was arguing back and shirking my responsibilities, and didn’t have the slightest bit of understanding of myself. Moreover, I had an arrogant disposition and did not accept the pruning and guidance of my brothers and sisters. I didn’t do my duty in accordance with principles, and had damaged the work of the house of God and the life entry of my brothers and sisters. Therefore, they dismissed me.

During my devotional, I read a passage of the words of God that was very relevant to my own state. Almighty God says: “How does the selfishness and vileness of the antichrists manifest itself? In anything that benefits their status or reputation, they make efforts to do or say whatever is necessary, and they willingly endure any suffering. But where work arranged by God’s house is concerned, or where work that benefits the life growth of God’s chosen people is concerned, they utterly ignore it. Even when evil people disrupt, disturb, and commit all kinds of evil, thereby seriously affecting the work of the church, they remain impassive and unconcerned, as if this has nothing to do with them. And if someone discovers and reports the evil deeds of an evil person, they say they saw nothing and feign ignorance. But if someone reports them and exposes that they don’t do real work and only pursue fame, gain, and status, they see red. Meetings are hurriedly convened to discuss how to respond, investigations are held to find out who went behind their back, who the ringleader was, and who was involved. They will not eat or sleep until they have gotten to the bottom of it and the matter has been completely put to rest—they will even only feel happy once they’ve taken down everyone who was involved in reporting them. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not? Are they doing church work? They are acting for the sake of their own power and status, pure and simple. They are running their own operation. Regardless of what work they undertake, antichrists never give any thought to the interests of the house of God. They only consider whether their own interests will be affected, only think about the little bit of work in front of them that benefits them. For them, the primary work of the church is just something they do in their spare time. They don’t take it seriously at all. They only move when they’re prodded into action, only do what they like to do, and only do work that is for the sake of maintaining their own status and power. In their eyes, any work arranged by God’s house, the work of spreading the gospel, and the life entry of God’s chosen people are not important. No matter what difficulties other people have in their work, what issues they have identified and reported to them, how sincere their words are, the antichrists pay no heed, they do not get involved, it’s as if this has nothing to do with them. No matter how major the problems emerging in the church’s work are, they are utterly indifferent. Even when a problem is right in front of them, they only address it perfunctorily. Only when they are directly pruned by the Above and ordered to sort out a problem will they grudgingly do a little real work and give the Above something to see; soon after, they will continue with their own business. When it comes to the work of the church, to the important things of the wider context, they are disinterested in and disregard these things. They even ignore the problems they discover, and they give perfunctory answers or hem and haw when asked about problems, only addressing them with great reluctance. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). God exposes that antichrists are terribly selfish and vile. They are only willing to work hard, endure hardship, and pay a price for things that can make them look good and gain the esteem of others. They aren’t concerned about the work of the church and the difficulties of the brothers and sisters at all, and treat all this in a perfunctory manner. They’re completely disinterested even when they know that someone is causing disruptions and disturbances. The disposition I revealed was the same as that of an antichrist. I was well aware that Fang Xia wasn’t getting results in her duties and that she needed to be reassigned quickly, but I felt that the cleansing work was Li Hua’s responsibility and that any problems should be resolved by her. I felt that even if I’d spent time trying to resolve these problems it wouldn’t have made me look good and would have been a waste of my time. So, I acted irresponsibly and disregarded the matter. Later on, Li Hua became unable to do her duties. Ding Yan had just been selected as the leader, and I should have gone with her to dismiss Fang Xia. But I only discussed it briefly with her. Afterward I heard her say that she had misgivings and so hadn’t dismissed Fang Xia, but I still had not resolved the matter in a timely manner. I’d been perfunctory toward church work and I hadn’t treated it conscientiously. When the upper-level leaders came to prune me, not only did I not reflect on myself, but I also tried to pass the buck, saying that it was the sisters working with me who hadn’t dismissed Fang Xia in a timely manner. In doing so, I tried to wash my hands of the matter. If the upper-level leaders had not promptly dismissed Fang Xia, it’s uncertain how long she would have kept disturbing the team, and how much harm she would have caused to the cleansing work and to the lives of the brothers and sisters. I’d been a leader for more than two years, and I’d grasped a few principles. I should have exercised more concern and fulfilled my responsibilities to protect the church’s various work. When I saw someone disturbing and disrupting the work of the church, I should have immediately stopped and restrained them. Those who were unsuitable should have been reassigned or dismissed in a timely manner. If I couldn’t see things clearly, I should seek and consult with my co-workers. This is what it means to fulfill one’s responsibilities. But in pursuit of reputation and status and to gain the esteem of the upper-level leaders, I only concerned myself with the work involved in my own primary responsibilities, and when I saw problems arise in other areas of work, I paid them no heed. I really had no humanity at all! I was utterly selfish! If it hadn’t been for the upper-level leaders exposing me, pruning me, and dismissing me, I would still have not known to reflect on myself. I wouldn’t have understood how profoundly I had been corrupted by Satan, or how vile and sordid the way I had been living was. When I understood this, I felt deep regret and self-reproach. At the same time, I prayed to God with thanks in my heart, “Dear God, my dismissal is Your righteousness. You did not treat me in accordance with my transgressions, but even gave me a chance to repent, so I could reflect on and understand myself. This is Your love and salvation. Dear God, may You lead me to understand myself in this matter and have genuine repentance.”

Later, I read these words of God: “In the house of God, all those who pursue the truth are united before God, not divided. They all work toward a common goal: fulfilling their duty, doing the work that falls to them, acting according to the truth principles, doing as God requires, and satisfying His intentions. If your goal is not for the sake of this, but for your own sake, for the sake of satisfying your selfish desires, then that is the revelation of a corrupt satanic disposition. In God’s house, duties are done according to the truth principles, while nonbelievers’ actions are governed by their satanic dispositions. These are two very different paths. Nonbelievers harbor their own schemes, each of them has their own aims and plans, and everyone lives for their own interests. That is why they all scramble for their own benefit and are unwilling to give up an inch of what they gain. They are divided, not united, because they are not out for a common goal. The intention and nature behind what they do is the same. They are all out for themselves. There is no truth that reigns in that; what does reign and is in charge in that is a corrupt satanic disposition. They are controlled by their corrupt satanic disposition and cannot help themselves, and so they fall deeper and deeper into sin. In God’s house, if the principles, methods, motivation, and starting point of your actions were no different from those of the nonbelievers, if you were also toyed with, controlled, and manipulated by a corrupt satanic disposition, and if the starting point of your actions were your own interests, reputation, pride, and status, then you would perform your duty no differently from the way nonbelievers do things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). As I pondered the words of God, I realized that though I believed in God and followed God, and was doing duties in the church, my thoughts and views had not changed. I was still living in reliance on the satanic poisons of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” I was living in a selfish and vile corrupt disposition, only considering my own reputation and status. When I found out that Fang Xia was not getting any results when doing her duty, and was also disturbing other brothers and sisters and obstructing the cleansing work, I was well aware that she should be promptly dismissed and be replaced by a suitable person. However, I only thought of the work I was responsible for myself, and only pursued my own reputation and status. I thought that if this problem were resolved, other people would take the credit and I would not get a chance to take the limelight. Therefore, I paid it no heed. I did not consider the magnitude of the harm that would be done to the work of the church and the lives of my brothers and sisters if this problem were not resolved. Although cleansing work was mainly the responsibility of my partner, this did not mean that I didn’t need to concern myself with this work. As a leader, if an issue arises in any task, I should get involved and, together with my co-workers, discuss it, seek principles, and resolve it. This is my responsibility, and the duties of my post. However, I lived only for my own reputation and status. I was selfish and vile, and didn’t protect the interests of the church or consider the overall work. I didn’t approach the work of the church as part of a team. Nonbelievers harbor their own schemes in their work, and everything they do is for their own sakes. The way I was working now was absolutely no different from the way nonbelievers work.

One day, I read a passage of God’s words in an experiential testimony video: “God has done such a great job of expressing the truth and saving people, and put all His painstaking effort into it. God takes this most just cause so seriously; all His painstaking effort has been exerted for these people whom He wants to save, all of His expectations are also placed on these people, and the final results and glory that He wants to obtain from His 6,000-year management plan will all be realized on these people. If someone enters into rivalry against God, opposes, disturbs, or destroys the result of this cause, will God forgive them? (No.) Does this offend God’s disposition? If you keep saying that you follow God, pursue salvation, accept God’s scrutiny and guidance, and accept and submit to God’s judgment and chastisement, but all the while you are saying these words, you are nevertheless disrupting, disturbing, and destroying the church’s various work, and because of your disturbance, disruption, and destruction, because of your negligence or dereliction of duty, or because of your selfish desires and for the sake of pursuing your own interests, the interests of God’s house, the church’s interests, and a multitude of other aspects have been harmed, even to the point that the work of God’s house has been seriously disturbed and destroyed, how, then, should God weigh up your outcome in your book of life? How should you be labeled? In all fairness, you should be punished. This is called getting your just deserts. What do you understand now? What are people’s interests? (They are wicked.) People’s interests are actually all their extravagant desires. To put it bluntly, they are all temptations, they are all falsehoods, and they are all bait used by Satan to tempt people. Pursuing fame, gain, and status, and pursuing one’s own interests—this is cooperating with Satan in doing evil, and it is opposing God. In order to hinder God’s work, Satan raises up various environments to tempt, disturb, and mislead people, and to prevent people from following God, and to prevent them from being able to submit to God. Instead, they cooperate with Satan and follow it, deliberately rising up to disturb and destroy God’s work. No matter how much God fellowships on the truth, they still don’t come to their senses. No matter how much God’s house prunes them, they still don’t accept the truth. They don’t submit to God at all, instead they insist on having things their own way and doing as they please. As a result, they disturb and destroy the church’s work, seriously affect the progress of the church’s various work, and cause enormous harm to the life entry of God’s chosen people. This sin is too great, and such people will certainly be punished by God” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). Pondering God’s words, I understood that God has put all His painstaking effort into saving mankind. God does not want to see His work suffer any disturbance or damage. God loathes and hates all people who disturb and damage the work of God, and oppose God. This kind of person should be punished. God loves those who pursue the truth, submit to God, and show loyalty to God. God hopes that we can fulfill our responsibility to protect the work of the church. I reflected on how when I was a leader, I was unable to fulfill my responsibility to dismiss Fang Xia promptly, delaying the cleansing work. I had become someone who disrupted and disturbed the work of the church, who God loathed and hated. When I understood this, I grew afraid and came before God to pray to Him, “Dear God, I am utterly selfish. I have no humanity. I only pursue reputation and status and do not protect the interests of the house of God. I have done things that rebel against You and resist You. I am unworthy of Your salvation. Dear God, I am willing to repent. May You lead me to find a path of practice.”

I read more of God’s words: “If you are a leader, then no matter how many tasks you are responsible for, it is your responsibility to constantly ask questions about them and inquire, at the same time also inspecting them and resolving problems promptly as they arise. This is your job. And so, whether you are a regional leader, district leader, church leader, or any team leader or supervisor, once you have known the scope of your responsibilities, you must frequently examine whether you are doing real work, whether you have fulfilled the responsibilities that ought to be fulfilled by a leader or worker, as well as which tasks—out of the several entrusted to you—you haven’t done, which you don’t want to do, which have yielded poor results, and which you have failed to grasp the principles of. These are all things you should examine often. At the same time, you must learn to fellowship with and ask questions of other people, and must learn how to identify, in God’s words and the work arrangements, a plan, principles, and a path for practice. Toward any work arrangement, whether it relates to administration, personnel, or church life, or else any kind of professional work, if it touches upon the responsibilities of leaders and workers, then it is a responsibility that leaders and workers are supposed to fulfill, and within the purview of what leaders and workers are responsible for—these are the tasks you should attend to. Naturally, priorities should be set based on the situation; no work may fall behind. Some leaders and workers say, ‘I don’t have three heads and six arms. There are so many tasks in the work arrangement; I absolutely can’t manage if I’m put in charge of all of them.’ If there are some tasks that you can’t personally be involved in, then have you arranged for someone else to do them? After making this arrangement, did you follow up and make inquiries? Did you vet their work? Surely you had the time to make inquiries and conduct vetting? You definitely did!” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (10)). “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and consider the work of the church. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Do you not feel that this becomes a little easier when you divide it into two steps and make some compromises? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not such a difficult thing. Furthermore, you should be able to fulfill your responsibilities, perform your obligations and duty, and set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; you should show consideration for God’s intentions, and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first. After experiencing this for a while, you will feel that this is a good way to comport yourself. It is living straightforwardly and honestly, and not being a base, vile person; it is living justly and honorably rather than being despicable, base, and a good-for-nothing. You will feel that this is how a person should act and the image that they should live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). From God’s words, I saw that all of the tasks of the house of God are very important, and each one falls within the responsibilities of the leaders and workers to supervise and follow up on. Dividing tasks is just a necessary part of the work, to ensure that the work yields even better results. However, I believed that dividing up tasks meant that I had no responsibility for the other tasks. I thought that if problems occurred in work that was such and such a person’s responsibility, it was that person who should go and resolve it and take responsibility for it. This viewpoint is incorrect and does not align with God’s requirements for leaders and workers. Leaders are responsible for the overall work, and the cleansing work also fell within the remit of my job. If there were any problems with it, I had to fulfill my responsibility: I had to discuss and resolve the problems together with my co-workers. At the same time, I understood that when doing my duty I had to prioritize the interests of the house of God and consider the overall work. I could not let gains and losses relating to my personal interests influence the work of the house of God and delay the life entry of my brothers and sisters. In the future, I have to practice in accordance with the words of God. No matter what task I perform, I must always fulfill my own responsibilities. I cannot consider my personal interests any longer.

Later, I was responsible for the task of watering newcomers. My partner, Sister Yang Li, had to go elsewhere for some time to attend to something. Before she left, she handed all the newcomers she was watering over to me. I thought to myself, “Some of the newcomers I am watering are not in a good state. I must resolve their problems. Where am I going to find the time to water the newcomers that you’re responsible for? If it gets in the way of my duty, what will the leaders think of me? Will they say I am not bearing a burden and not doing real work?” When I thought this way, I realized that my state was incorrect. I was again considering my own interests and working for my own reputation and status. I remembered the words of God: “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). I had to protect the interests of the house of God. I couldn’t consider my own reputation and status any longer. The newcomers handed over to me by Yang Li had not yet put down firm roots in the true way. The CCP was arresting and persecuting Christians everywhere, and spreading baseless rumors to discredit The Church of Almighty God. If the newcomers didn’t understand the truth, then they could be misled and captured by Satan at any time. Now Yang Li had handed these newcomers over to me, watering and supporting them was the responsibility I needed to fulfill. If I caused these newcomers to withdraw and stop believing because I was selfish, vile and irresponsible, then there would be an accusation hanging over my conscience. I could not live any longer in reliance on my selfish and vile corrupt disposition. No matter whose responsibility these newcomers were, I had to water them well so they could put down firm roots as early as possible. Therefore, I equipped myself with the truth, and watered and supported all the newcomers according to their notions and problems. When I practiced in this way, my heart felt peaceful and at ease.

After these experiences, I had the profound realization that when people live in a selfish and vile corrupt disposition and only pay heed to the pursuit of reputation and status, though they may enjoy prestige at the time, they leave transgressions behind them when they do not fulfill their responsibilities and their hearts burn with agony. But when you let go of personal interests and practice and enter in accordance with the words of God, your heart is peaceful and at ease. Thank You, God, for leading me to these understandings and gains!