By Shen Yi, China

In late April 2023, several churches in Dongcheng came under major crackdowns, and I heard that a lot of leaders and workers and brothers and sisters were arrested. At that time, the upper leaders sent a letter asking me to handle the work of the aftermath. Upon reading the letter, I felt both happy and nervous. I was happy because this duty was God’s exaltation. Though I’d believed in God for many years, I hadn’t done my duty well, and recently I’d been dismissed for disrupting and disturbing church work, leaving transgressions in my wake. But God wasn’t treating me according to my transgressions, and He was giving me the opportunity to do such an important duty. I was very grateful and willing to cooperate. But when I thought about the many brothers and sisters who’d been arrested from these churches, I couldn’t help but break into a cold sweat. Over the past few years, the CCP’s police had arrested brothers and sisters throughout Dongcheng on multiple occasions, there were high-definition cameras all over the city, and I felt that going to handle the work of the aftermath right now would be like walking right into the line of fire. Moreover, handling the work of the aftermath involved moving both offerings and books of God’s words, and I had no idea how the police would torture me if I were arrested! A brother had been beaten to death by the police just for transporting books of God’s words, and I was worried that if I were arrested, there was no telling whether I’d live or die. I wondered, “If I die, will it still be possible for me to be saved?” But I thought that shirking my duty wouldn’t align with God’s intention, so I prayed to God, “Oh God! Being able to do such an important duty is Your exaltation, but I feel timid and I’m afraid of being arrested, please give me faith.” After praying, my heart felt a bit calmer. I thought about the many brothers and sisters who’d been arrested and about the aftermath work that needed to be handled urgently. I was quite familiar with the situation in the church, and I couldn’t be selfish and despicable and think only of my own safety. I had to do my best, pray to God, and rely on Him to handle this aftermath work well.

The next evening, I met with a sister who said that more than a hundred brothers and sisters had been arrested in Dongcheng in this crackdown, and that books needed to be relocated from more than ten homes. I thought, “So many brothers and sisters have been arrested, it’ll be impossible to finish handling the work of the aftermath right away. I still need to find brothers and sisters to cooperate, but I don’t know who’s been arrested and who’s being monitored, and while we’re out in the open, the police are hiding in the shadows. There are electronic eyes everywhere in the city, and if we stay here for too long, it’s only a matter of time before we’re arrested too!” That night, I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep at all. My mind was racing, trying to figure out which brothers and sisters I could find to cooperate with, and I just wanted to finish handling the work of the aftermath quickly and leave. Because many brothers and sisters were at risk, we encountered many difficulties when looking for the homes that stored the books, and the work progressed very slowly. I felt really repressed, feeling that if this continued, I was sure to be arrested sooner or later. That’s to say nothing of the physical suffering—if I couldn’t endure the torture and ended up becoming a Judas, I would lose my good outcome and destination. Thinking of all this, I felt really weak and thought that this duty was too difficult. So I spoke to God about my state and asked Him to guide me to submit. I read God’s words: “If you lack genuine faith, you will not stand the test of time or the test of the environment. If you cannot stand the test God gives you, God will not speak to you or appear to you. God wants to see whether you believe in His existence, whether you acknowledge His existence, and whether you have genuine faith in your heart. This is how God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts. Are the people living between heaven and earth in the hands of God? They are all in God’s hands. This is exactly how it is. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the wilderness or on the moon, you’re in the hands of God. That’s the way it is. If God has not appeared to you, how can you see the existence and sovereignty of God? How can you allow the truth that ‘God exists and is sovereign over all things’ to take root in your heart and never fade away? How can you make this statement your life, the driving force of your life, and the trust and strength that allows you to keep on living? (Pray.) That is practical. That is the path of practice. When you are at your most difficult time, when you are least able to feel God, when you feel most painful and lonely, when you feel as if you are far from God, what is the one thing you should do above all else? Call out to God. Calling out to God gives you strength. Calling out to God lets you feel His existence. Calling out to God lets you feel God’s sovereignty. When you call out to God, pray to God, and put your life in God’s hands, you will feel that God is by your side and that He has not abandoned you. When you feel that God has not abandoned you, when you truly feel that He is by your side, will your trust grow? If you have real trust, will it wear down and fade away with the passage of time? Absolutely not. Is the problem of trust now solved? Can people possess real trust simply by carrying around the Bible and rigidly memorizing verses word for word? You still have to pray to God and rely on God to solve this problem. How did Moses get through those forty years in the wilderness? At that time, there was no Bible, and there were few people around him. He only had sheep with him. Moses was certainly led by God. Although the Bible does not record how God led him, whether God appeared to him, whether God spoke to him, or whether God allowed Moses to understand why He made him live in the wilderness for forty years, it is an undeniable fact that Moses did survive living in the wilderness for forty years. No one can deny this fact. With no one around him with whom to share what was in his heart, how could he survive alone in the wilderness for forty years? Without genuine faith, this would be impossible for anyone. It would be a miracle! No matter how people ponder over this matter, they feel that this could never happen. It is too inconsistent with human notions and imaginings! But this is not a legend, not a fantastic tale, it’s a real, unchangeable, and undeniable fact. What does the existence of this fact show to people? If you have genuine faith in God, as long as you have even one breath left, God will not abandon you. This is one fact of God’s existence. If you have such real trust and such a true understanding of God, then your trust is great enough. No matter what environment you find yourself in, and no matter how long a time you are in this environment, your trust will not wear away” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only With True Submission Can One Have Real Trust). God says that true faith can withstand the tests of time and environment. I remembered that before coming to Dongcheng, I’d said I would rely on God to experience this, but when I saw just how terrible the situation was and the work making no progress, I lost faith in God, fearing that if I stayed here too long, I would be arrested. I was always thinking about my own safety. I thought of Moses who spent forty years out in the wilderness. It was desolate and the living conditions were extremely harsh out there, but he survived by relying on God. During those forty years, Moses truly experienced that everything concerning man is in God’s hands, and his faith and perseverance were perfected. Today, encountering such a situation had also been permitted by God, and this situation had come about to perfect my faith, and I could no longer be timid and afraid. I had to emulate Moses and rely on God to experience this, and regardless of whether I would be captured or not, I had to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements.

Later on, we took the risk of finding the initial church leader, Li Zhen, to find out more about the houses for safekeeping. After meeting Li Zhen, I learned that the police had gone to her home, that several homes of brothers and sisters nearby had been raided, and that the police had also gone to another house for safekeeping, but thanks to God’s protection, the books of God’s words hadn’t been seized. However, after the police left, the husband of the custodian sister, who was a nonbeliever, told her to quickly move the books, and he persecuted her, saying that if he saw anyone who believed in God come to their home again, he would call the police. I thought that the books stored at the sister’s house must be moved quickly, but then I thought, “The police have already been to this house, and the sister’s nonbelieving husband said he’d call the police. If I go there, won’t I just be walking into the line of fire? If I really do end up getting caught, won’t the police beat me to death? Even if I don’t get beaten to death, I’ll still receive a heavy sentence. But the books of God’s words must be moved quickly; if my fear of death leads to the books of God’s words being seized by the great red dragon, then I will have transgressed.” I silently prayed to God in my heart, asking Him to give me faith. I thought of God’s words: “You should not be afraid of this and that; no matter how many difficulties and dangers you might face, you are capable of remaining steady before Me, unobstructed by any hindrance, so that My will may be carried out unimpeded. This is your duty…. You must endure all; for Me, you must be ready to relinquish everything you possess and do everything you can to follow Me, and be ready to expend your all. Now is the time that I shall test you: Will you offer your loyalty to Me? Can you loyally follow Me to the end of the road? Be not afraid; with My support, who could ever block this road? Remember this! Do not forget! All that occurs is by My goodwill, and everything is under My observation. Can you follow My word in all that you say and do? When the trials of fire come upon you, will you kneel down and call out? Or will you cower, incapable of moving forward?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). God’s words gave me faith and strength. With God as my support, what did I have to fear? My life was in God’s hands, and whether I would be captured was up to God. What I had to do was to put my heart into my actions and do what needed to be done. I would entrust the rest to God. We then discussed moving the books when the sister’s husband wasn’t at home. That day, when the sister’s husband went out, we hurried to the house for safekeeping, but to our surprise before we could say even a few words to the sister, her husband returned. I felt really nervous, and I silently prayed to God to guide us. I took the initiative to greet the sister’s husband, and to my surprise, he not only didn’t report us but also helped move the books of God’s words. In this way, the books from the first house for safekeeping were safely moved. This experience made me sense God’s guidance and my faith in God grew a little.

Next, I went to the second house for safekeeping to gather information on the situation. The police had also raided this place, but luckily, they hadn’t found any of the books of God’s words. We were worried that the police would come back to search again, so we wanted to move the books as soon as possible. However, there were several cameras next to this place, and one of them was right in front of the sister’s door. Moreover, the sister’s house was right at the end of an alley, and no matter which alley you came from, the cameras could see everything clearly. I was really nervous, thinking, “There are cameras everywhere, we’d be going into a dead end if we entered the alley toward this sister’s house. If a person were to go in, it’d be hard to escape, so if the books are being moved, won’t it be even harder to get out? If we get found out by the great red dragon, there’ll be no escape!” At this moment, I found myself feeling regretful, thinking, “Why did I come to check this place? Now it seems that moving the books is up to me.” I was worried and afraid, and I didn’t have the heart to take a further look at the surroundings. I didn’t dare to stay for a moment longer and hurried out of there. When I got home, I truthfully told the leader what I had seen, conveying that under the current situation, it was impossible to move the books. But to my surprise, the leader had been to that house for safekeeping, and she said, “The alley by the sister’s house isn’t a dead end. There’s a small side path that you can go into that the cameras can’t see.” Hearing this, I felt somewhat ashamed. It turned out that the sister’s house wasn’t actually in a dead end. I thought, “I had physically checked over the area, how did I miss that there was a footpath leading out of the alley?” Looking back, I realized I’d been intimidated by the cameras, and because I was timid and afraid, I didn’t have the heart to go into the alley to check fully. I realized that with such a state, it would be impossible for me to do this work well, so I prayed to God, “Oh God, when I saw cameras all over, I became timid and afraid, always fearing that I’d be arrested and suffer. Oh God, please enlighten and guide me so that I can know myself and learn a lesson.”

After that, I sought out God’s words to resolve my issues. I read these words of God: “Besides considering their own safety, what do certain antichrists also think about? They say, ‘Right now, our environment is unfavorable, so let’s show our faces less and spread the gospel less. That way, we’re less likely to be caught, and the church’s work won’t be destroyed. If we avoid getting caught, we won’t turn Judas, and then we’ll be able to remain in the future, won’t we?’ Aren’t there antichrists who use such excuses to mislead their brothers and sisters? Some antichrists are very afraid of death and drag out ignoble existences…. They don’t believe that God can protect people’s safety, and they certainly don’t believe that dedicating oneself to expending for God is devoting oneself to the truth, and that it is something God approves of. They don’t fear God in their hearts; they are only afraid of Satan and wicked political parties. They don’t believe in God’s existence, they don’t believe that everything is in God’s hands, and they certainly don’t believe that God will approve of a person expending everything for His sake, and for the sake of following His way, and completing His commission. They can’t see any of this. What do they believe in? They believe that if they fall into the hands of the great red dragon, they’ll meet with a bad end, that they could be sentenced or even risk losing their lives. In their hearts, they only consider their own safety and not the work of the church. Aren’t these disbelievers? (Yes, they are.) What does the Bible say? ‘He that loses his life for My sake shall find it’ (Matthew 10:39). Do they believe these words? (No, they don’t.) If they are asked to take a risk while doing their duty, they’ll wish to hide themselves away and not let anyone see them—they’ll want to be invisible. This is the extent to which they are afraid. They don’t believe that God is man’s support, that everything is in God’s hands, that if something really goes wrong or they actually get caught, it’s permitted by God, and that people should have hearts of submission. These people don’t possess these hearts, this understanding, or this preparation. Do they truly believe in God? (No, they don’t.) Isn’t the essence of this manifestation that of a disbeliever? (Yes, it is.) That’s how it is. People like this are exceptionally timid, terribly frightened, and afraid of physical suffering and something bad happening to them. They become as scared as skittish birds and can’t perform their work anymore” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). “Antichrists are extremely selfish and despicable. They do not have true faith in God, much less loyalty to God; when they encounter an issue, they only protect and safeguard themselves. For them, nothing is more important than their own safety. As long as they can live and won’t get arrested, they don’t care how much harm is done to the work of the church. These people are extremely selfish, they don’t think of the brothers and sisters at all, or of the work of the church, they only think of their own safety. They are antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God exposes that antichrists are selfish and despicable, and lack loyalty to God, that they don’t believe that everything is in God’s hands, and that when faced with danger, they only consider their own interests and don’t consider the interests of God’s house at all. This was the state I was in. I knew that the houses for storing the books had already been raided by the police, and that I had to transfer the books as soon as possible, but when I saw that there were several cameras monitoring everything around this house, I became afraid of being caught and lived in terror and fear, and I didn’t even have the heart to check the surroundings. I even regretted coming to check the situation. Faced with the facts, I realized that I was only concerned about my own safety, and that I wasn’t thinking about how to safely transfer the books at all, as if the only thing that mattered was for me not to get caught. I’d been utterly selfish and despicable, and I had revealed an antichrist disposition! I thought about how God has worked in China for all these years. The CCP has been hunting Christ, persecuting Christians, and plundering God’s offerings, but many brothers and sisters didn’t even consider their own safety in such dire situations. They paid no heed to matters of their own lives and deaths, and they were able to uphold their duties to protect the work of the church, fulfill their duties to satisfy God, and bear resounding testimony for God. I looked at myself again, and I saw that I was just a coward, like a bird startled by the mere twang of the bowstring, having no stature at all. I felt so ashamed, and I hated myself from the bottom of my heart, and I didn’t want to live in such a selfish and despicable way anymore. I was willing to transfer the books of God’s words as soon as possible.

The next day, we went to discuss how to transfer the books with the custodian sister, but to our surprise, the son of the sister, who wasn’t a believer, was willing to help, and he even moved the books from upstairs into his car to transport them. In this way, the books from that house were safely transferred. I came to deeply experience that God Himself maintains His work, and I felt that God had arranged this kind of situation to cleanse and change my corrupt disposition, allowing me to practically experience God’s work and understand His deeds. I thanked and praised God from the bottom of my heart!

Next, I pondered, “I’m constantly worried about being caught and beaten to death, how should this issue be resolved?” I recalled a passage of God’s words: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—every sort of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Were they lawfully executed for their crimes? No. They were condemned, beaten, scolded, and put to death because they spread the Lord’s gospel and were rejected by the people of the world—that is how they were martyred. Let us not speak of the final outcome of those martyrs, or of God’s definition of their conduct, but ask this: When they arrived at the end, did the ways that they met the end of their lives accord with human notions? (No, it did not.) From the perspective of human notions, they paid such a great price to spread the work of God, but were ultimately killed by Satan. This does not accord with human notions, but this is precisely what happened to them. It is what God allowed. What truth can be sought in this? Was God allowing them to die this way His curse and condemnation, or was it His plan and blessing? It was neither. What was it? People now reflect on their deaths with much heartache, but that was how things were. Those who believed in God died that way, how is this to be explained? When we mention this topic, you put yourselves in their position, so are your hearts sad, and do you feel a hidden pain? You think, ‘These people did their duty to spread God’s gospel and should be considered good people, so how could they come to such an end and such an outcome?’ Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their means of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the means of their death and departure was nor how it happened, it was not how God defined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, they used precisely those means to condemn this world and to testify to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to testify to God’s deeds, to testify to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to confirm to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redemption He did for all humanity allows humanity to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. Those who were martyred for spreading the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to what extent did they perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). The disciples of the Lord Jesus were persecuted by the Roman government and the religious community while propagating the gospel, but no matter how the forces of Satan persecuted them, they continued to propagate and testify to God’s work. They preferred to sacrifice their own lives rather than yield to Satan. Some died by stoning, others were dragged to death by horses, and others were crucified. They bore resounding testimony for God with their lives. Although they died physically, their souls were in God’s hands. Thinking of their testimony, I felt very ashamed and deeply moved. God has come to work in the last days and He has expressed many truths, opening up all the truths and mysteries to us. I’d followed God for many years, enjoying the watering and provision of God’s words, but I’d been unable to testify for God. Amidst the great red dragon’s frenzied persecution, I was worried about being caught and beaten to death, I was always calculating for my own physical interests, and I had no loyalty to God at all. I couldn’t compare at all to the saints of the past ages and was unworthy to be a follower of God. The life and death of a person are in God’s hands, and God approves of those who lay down their lives to fulfill His commission. Under the guidance of God’s words, I was no longer constrained by the fear of being arrested, and I felt a great sense of liberation. After this, I cooperated with my brothers and sisters, and all the books from more than ten houses for safekeeping were safely transferred.

In early November, I received a letter from the leaders in my district, stating that over thirty people from two churches had been arrested by the police, and that three church leaders had already gone missing. They asked me to go and handle the aftermath work. I felt somewhat unwilling, thinking, “Why are you making me go again? Is there really no one else who can go?” But then I calmed down and thought about it. With so many leaders and workers and brothers and sisters arrested, it was indeed difficult to find suitable people, and since I was quite familiar with the churches there, I was the most suitable person to go. I couldn’t shirk this duty anymore. But while I was actually in the process of cooperating, I still felt very timid, so I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me. I thought of God’s words: “Regardless of how ‘powerful’ Satan is, regardless of how audacious and ambitious it is, regardless of how great is its ability to inflict damage, regardless of how wide-ranging are the techniques with which it corrupts and lures man, regardless of how clever are the tricks and schemes with which it intimidates man, regardless of how changeable is the form in which it exists, it has never been able to create a single living thing, has never been able to set down laws or rules for the existence of all things, and has never been able to rule and control any object, whether animate or inanimate. Within the cosmos and the firmament, there is not a single person or object that was born from it, or exists because of it; there is not a single person or object that is ruled by it, or controlled by it. On the contrary, it not only has to live under the dominion of God, but, moreover, must submit to all of God’s orders and commands. Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God. In the eyes of God, Satan is inferior to the lilies on the mountain, to the birds flying in the air, to the fish in the sea, and to the maggots on the earth. Its role among all things is to serve all things, to serve mankind, and to serve God’s work and His plan of management. Regardless of how malicious its nature, and how evil its essence, the only thing it can do is to dutifully abide by its function: being of service to God, and providing a counterpoint to God. Such is the substance and position of Satan. Its essence is unconnected to life, unconnected to power, unconnected to authority; it is merely a plaything in God’s hands, just a machine in service to God!” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). God said that Satan is a tool used to render service for God’s work, and that no matter how aggressive Satan is and how wicked its nature is, without God’s permission, Satan will not dare touch a hair on our heads. If God were to allow me to be arrested, I should submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and emulate the Lord’s disciples by laying down my life, but since I hadn’t been arrested, I should handle the work of the aftermath well. I thought about how we’d cooperated here for a long time, and although the situation was truly dire, we’d managed to safely transfer some books. This was all God leading us step by step, and it was God’s sovereignty and protection. With that in mind, I was willing to rely on God to experience this situation.

Later on, I learned that two leaders had become Judases after being arrested, selling out all the brothers and sisters in the church and all the houses for safekeeping. The books of God’s words from three houses for safekeeping were seized by the police, while another house wasn’t found with any books when the police came, and the brothers and sisters moved the books later at night. However, this house for safekeeping had been put under police surveillance since then. The police also threatened that they had laid an inescapable trap to crack down on The Church of Almighty God. There was another house for safekeeping where the books of God’s words weren’t found by the police either, and they also needed to be transferred quickly. Faced with such a dire situation, I felt somewhat scared, thinking, “I often came into contact with those who’ve been arrested, and I could be targeted by the police at any moment; will I end up being arrested by the police when I go to transfer the books of God’s words?” I began to feel like backing down. However, I knew my state was wrong, so I kept praying to God. I thought of God’s words: “Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free. If man harbors timid and fearful thoughts, it is because Satan has fooled them, afraid that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 6). “No matter what God asks of you, you need only work toward it with all your strength, and I hope you will be able to come before God and give Him your utmost devotion in the end. As long as you can see God’s gratified smile as He sits upon His throne, even if this moment is the appointed time of your death, you should be able to laugh and smile as you close your eyes. You must, during your time on earth, do your final duty for God. In the past, Peter was crucified upside down for the sake of God; but you should satisfy God in the end, and exhaust all your energy for His sake. What can a created being do for God? You should therefore give yourself up to God in advance, for Him to orchestrate you as He wishes. As long as it makes God happy and pleased, then let Him do as He will with you. What right do men have to speak words of complaint?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 41). God’s words inspired me. Although I couldn’t compare with Peter, I had to follow his example and allow God to orchestrate everything for me as He wishes. I had to put my life on the line and transfer the books. After that, the brothers and sisters and I safely transferred the books.

Through this experience, I gained a real understanding of God’s authority and His almightiness and wisdom, and my faith in God grew as well. At the same time, I came to know my selfish and despicable nature. These realizations and gains are things I couldn’t have obtained in a comfortable environment.