26. Why I Couldn’t Submit to Being Reassigned in My Duty

By Wang Yuan, China

I started making videos in the church not long after I found God. Later, I was doing text-based duty, and I was in contact with upper leaders. I believed that doing these duties would allow me to understand more truth and increase my hopes of being saved. Whenever I interacted with brothers and sisters engaged in general affairs work, I saw that they were busy with external matters every day. I felt that they were just enthusiastic and that most of them didn’t understand the truth principles or have any life entry. This made me even more certain that those who were leaders and workers and doing text-based duty had a greater chance of salvation, and I was really lucky that I could keep doing text-based duty.

In April 2023, I was reassigned because I wasn’t getting any results in my text-based duty. After that, I did cleansing work in the church. One day, a leader wrote to say, “We urgently need people who understand network technology. You’re good at this, so we plan to have you take on this duty.” Upon reading this letter, my heart became restless and filled with resistance: “Do you even know how to arrange things? I’ve done text-based duty for many years and have grasped some principles regarding discernment. Why don’t you arrange duties for me based on my strengths?” Over the next couple of days, just the thought of having to do the duty related to network technology made me upset. “Doing this duty means toiling and dealing with different types of software every day, and since there will be fewer interactions with people and things in this duty, I’ll gain fewer truths, and no matter how well I do, I’ll just be a laborer, and I’ll ultimately still be eliminated. However, in leadership and text-based duties, I’ll be able to engage with God’s words and the truth principles every day, and the more I train, the more I’ll understand the truth principles; my life will progress quickly, and therefore, my hope for salvation will be greater.” But in the end, on the grounds of rationality, I reluctantly accepted this duty.

At first, Brother Zhao Lei instructed me in this technology. During my studies, I came across a lot of tutorial software that I didn’t know how to use, and I had forgotten most of the basic things I had learned before. But I didn’t want to put effort into research, and I felt that, “If I put my heart into learning, actually end up mastering this technology quickly, and the leaders see that I’m learning well, won’t they make me do this duty long-term?” With this in mind, I became less diligent in my studies, and I also didn’t have any motivation to view the good technical tutorials Zhao Lei provided. After just a few days of studying, we had to stop the training due to the host home becoming at risk. I felt lucky, because that meant I wouldn’t have to do this duty. When I reported to the leader about how my studies were coming along, I intentionally underreported the number of skills I had learned, hoping that this way, the leader would see that I wasn’t getting much out of my studies, think I wasn’t good at this, and arrange for me to do other duties. Unexpectedly, a few days later, the leader said to me, “The brother who repairs electronic devices is going elsewhere to do his duty, and we urgently need someone to take over this work. Given that you weren’t able to master network technology, you should learn to repair computers. Let’s see if you can learn how to do this.” When I heard this, I was stunned, thinking, “How could things have turned out this way? Having to study repairs is even worse than having to study network technology! I’d just be like a nonbeliever doing manual labor! What truth can I gain from doing this? I heard about a brother who repaired electronics for the brothers and sisters for eight years. If I become able to do this, will I end up stuck in this duty like that brother?” At that moment, I felt completely hopeless, thinking, “Could it be that I’m doomed to just being able to do general affairs work, just living a life of laboring? With God’s work nearing its end, do I still have any hope for salvation?” The more I thought about it, the more distressed I felt. Over the next few days, I didn’t even feel like eating, and I spent my days moping. The brothers and sisters saw my state and fellowshipped with me to get me to submit to this situation. But I felt very resistant, thinking, “What you’re saying sounds good, but if I learn a lesson and submit, I’ll end up stuck in this duty. If that happens, won’t I just be a laborer? How could I still be saved then?” Later, while wallowing in my despondence, I started learning repair techniques, but I didn’t have any enthusiasm. I thought about how after all my years of passionately doing my duty in my faith, in the end, I’d just become a laborer. I didn’t even dare to think about what my outcome would be. Over the next few days, I found that I was still incapable of mustering up any enthusiasm for my duty. I felt that the state in which I was doing my duty wasn’t right, and my conscience was tinged with guilt, so I prayed to God, “God, I can’t submit, and I feel really negative. I have this constant feeling that I won’t have any good future or destination if I do this duty. God, I know my state isn’t right. Please enlighten and guide me to understand Your intention, so that I can submit to this situation and do my duty well.” After praying, I recalled a passage of God’s words: “Start pursuing it seriously from now on—but how should you pursue it? You need to reflect upon the matters in which you often rebel against God. God has arranged circumstances for you again and again in order to teach you a lesson, to change you through these matters, to work His words into you, to make you enter into an aspect of the truth reality, and to stop you from living according to Satan’s corrupt disposition in those matters, and for you to instead live according to God’s words, for His words to be wrought into you and become your life. But you often rebel against God in these matters, neither submitting to God nor accepting the truth, not taking His words as principles that you should follow, and not living out His words. This hurts God, and time and time again, you lose your opportunity for salvation. So, how should you turn yourself around? Starting today, in matters which you can recognize through reflection and clearly sense, you should submit to God’s orchestration, accept His words as the truth reality, accept His words as the life, and change the way you live. When you encounter situations like this, you should rebel against your flesh and your preferences, and act according to the truth principles. Isn’t this the path of practice? (It is.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (20)). Pondering God’s words, I understood that during this time when I kept being reassigned in my duty, the less willing I was to submit, the more the reassignments didn’t align with my wishes. It turned out that God’s intention was behind this, which was to lead me to actively come before God to reflect on myself and to seek the truth. But I misunderstood God, and I viewed this chance given by God to perfect me to gain the truth as God wanting to reveal and eliminate me. My thoughts were truly hurtful to God! I needed to first submit, reflect on the corruption I had revealed in these instances of my being reassigned in my duty, and focus on seeking the truth to resolve this.

Over the next few days, I kept asking myself, “Why couldn’t I submit to being reassigned in my duty? I always thought that those who did leadership and text-based duties could be saved, while those doing general affairs work couldn’t. Is my viewpoint in line with the truth?” In my seeking, I read a passage of God’s words: “Many people don’t know clearly what it means to be saved. Some people believe that if they have believed in God for a long time, then they are likely to be saved. Some people think that if they understand a lot of spiritual doctrines, then they are likely to be saved, or some think that leaders and workers will certainly be saved. These are all human notions and imaginings. The key thing is that people must understand what salvation means. To be saved primarily means to be freed from sin, freed from Satan’s influence, and genuinely turn to God and submit to God. What must you possess to be free from sin and from Satan’s influence? The truth. If people hope to obtain the truth, they must be equipped with many of God’s words, they must be able to experience and practice them, so that they may understand the truth and enter into reality. Only then can they be saved. Whether or not one can be saved has nothing to do with how long they have believed in God, how much knowledge they have, whether they possess gifts or strengths, or how much they suffer. The only thing that has a direct relationship to salvation is whether or not a person can obtain the truth. So today, how many truths have you genuinely understood? And how many of God’s words have become your life? Of all of God’s requirements, into which have you achieved entry? During your years of belief in God, how much have you entered into the reality of God’s word? If you don’t know, or if you have not achieved entry into the reality of any of God’s words, then frankly, you have no hope of salvation. You cannot possibly be saved. It doesn’t matter if you possess a high degree of knowledge, or if you have believed in God for a long time, have a good appearance, can speak well, and have been a leader or worker for several years. If you don’t pursue the truth and do not properly practice and experience God’s words, and you lack real experiential testimony, then there is no hope for you to be saved(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). Pondering God’s words, I understood that no matter what duty one does, so long as a person has a heart of submission while doing their duty, focuses on seeking the truth to resolve corrupt dispositions and erroneous thoughts when things happen, and is able to forsake their flesh to rely on truth principles in their duty, and no longer rebel against or resist God, then such a person will achieve salvation. Whether one can be saved has nothing to do with how much doctrine one can speak or what duty one does. I used to think that being a leader and doing text-based duty meant being in contact with God’s words every day, contemplating how to resolve the various states and problems of my brothers and sisters, and fellowshipping topics related to life entry every day, and that in this way, I would gain more truths, grow in life more quickly, and have greater hope for salvation. I thought that doing the duty of general affairs was just a matter of manual labor and didn’t bring about any life entry, and that in doing this, I would ultimately just become a laborer. This therefore led me to live in a state of negativity and resistance, and to become unwilling to do this duty. My views were wrong and didn’t align with God’s words. Thinking about the antichrists expelled from the church, I saw that most of them had done the duty of leaders and workers, and were capable of speaking about many doctrines and were good at fellowshipping with others, but they never sought the truth to resolve their corrupt dispositions. Even after years of doing their duties as leaders and workers, their life disposition never changed. Some of them constantly pursued status, excluded dissenters, and suppressed their brothers and sisters, disturbing and disrupting the church’s work in the process, and so they were expelled. Some spoke doctrines to exalt themselves, show off, and mislead people, leading people to come before them. They tried to create independent kingdoms and were expelled. Others, after being arrested, succumbed to the police’s threats and temptations for the sake of their personal interests, and they signed the “Three Statements,” becoming Judases. For this, they were expelled. In reflecting on my years of doing text-based duty and reading God’s words every day, according to my notions, I should have gained some truths and obtained some truth realities, but when I was reassigned in my duty and asked to take on general affairs work, I found myself unable to accept or submit, and I lived in a state of negativity and resistance. This showed I had no truth reality at all! I saw that my views that those doing leadership and text-based duties had greater hopes for salvation were completely unfounded. It was only after reflecting on this that I understood that if a person doesn’t pursue the truth, or doesn’t focus on learning lessons to resolve their corrupt disposition while doing their duty, then the performance of any duty is merely laboring. I realized that what duty a person does isn’t important, and that what matters is whether a person can frequently reflect on themselves in the course of their duty, and whether they can actively pursue the truth and practice it to resolve their corrupt disposition. Only when one ultimately gains the truth can they attain God’s salvation.

Later on, I read another passage of God’s words: “When their duties are adjusted, if the decision was made by the church, people should accept and obey, they must reflect on themselves, and understand the essence of the problem and their own shortcomings. This is very beneficial for people, and it is something that ought to be practiced. With something so simple, ordinary people can figure it out and treat it correctly, without encountering too many difficulties or any insurmountable hurdles. When adjustments are made to their duties, at the very least, people should submit, benefit from reflecting on themselves, and have an accurate assessment of whether their performance of their duties is adequate. But this is not so for antichrists. What they manifest is different from normal people, no matter what happens to them. Where does this difference lie? They do not obey, they do not proactively cooperate, nor do they seek truth in the slightest. Instead, they feel antipathy toward the adjustment, and they resist it, analyze it, contemplate it, and rack their brains in speculation: ‘Why am I not allowed to do this duty? Why am I transferred to an unimportant duty? Is this a means to reveal me and eliminate me?’ They keep turning over what has happened in their minds, endlessly analyzing it and ruminating over it. When nothing happens they are perfectly fine, but when something does happen, it begins churning within their hearts as if in stormy waters, and their heads are filled with questions. It may look from the outside like they are better than others at pondering issues, but in fact, antichrists are just more wicked than normal people. How is this wickedness manifested? Their considerations are extreme, complex and secretive. Things that would not occur to a normal person, a person with a conscience and reason, are common fare for an antichrist. When a simple adjustment is made to their duty, people should answer with an attitude of obedience, do as God’s house tells them to, and do what they are able, and, no matter what they do, do it as well as is within their power, with all their heart and all their strength. What God has done is not in error. Such a simple truth can be practiced by people with a little conscience and reason, but this is beyond the abilities of antichrists. … Antichrists never obey the arrangements of God’s house, and they always closely link their duty, fame, gain, and status with their hope of gaining blessings and their future destination, as if once their reputation and status are lost, they have no hope of gaining blessings and rewards, and this feels like losing their lives to them. They think, ‘I have to be careful, I mustn’t be careless! God’s house, the brothers and sisters, the leaders and workers, and even god can’t be relied upon. I can’t trust any of them. The person you can rely on most and who is most worthy of trust is yourself. If you’re not making plans for yourself, then who is going to care about you? Who is going to consider your future? Who is going to consider whether or not you’re going to receive blessings? Therefore, I have to make careful plans and calculations for my own sake. I can’t make mistakes or be even slightly careless, otherwise, what will I do if somebody tries to take advantage of me?’ Therefore, they guard themselves against the leaders and workers of God’s house, fearing that somebody will discern or see through them, and that they’ll then be dismissed and their dream of blessings will be spoiled. They think they must maintain their reputation and status in order for them to have hope of gaining blessings. An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). God exposes that antichrists have no normal reason at all. Their sole aim in believing in God and doing their duties is to gain blessings. Regardless of what duties the church arranges, the first thing antichrists consider isn’t how to obey and accept or how they can do their best in their duties, but rather whether the current duty will affect their future and destination. They make careful calculations, worrying that their desires for blessings will be shattered if their duties are reassigned. If something isn’t beneficial for their future blessings, they will feel disgusted, resistant, and suspicious, and try to analyze it. Their nature is truly evil. In light of the exposure of God’s words, I saw that the disposition I was revealing was just like that of an antichrist. The leaders had arranged for me to learn network technology according to the needs of the work and my strengths. This was for the purpose of protecting the church’s work. People with normal humanity would consider God’s intentions and submit and accept this arrangement. But I thought that the duty of network technology was just part of general affairs work, that the truth I could gain was little, and that my chances at salvation would also be small, so I resisted and harbored complaints against the leaders. Even though I reluctantly agreed to do this duty later, I still didn’t study diligently. I was even deceitful in underreporting the skills I had learned to the leaders, hoping to make the leaders mistakenly believe that I was unsuited for this duty. Later, the leader asked me to learn repair techniques. This was to ensure that the brothers and sisters could use electronic devices for their devotionals and duties normally. But I thought that doing the duty of repairs wouldn’t help me pursue or gain the truth, and that it was just manual labor, so I didn’t want to accept it. The leaders reassigned my duties according to principles, and by being reassigned in my duties, this also revealed the impurities in my faith and my erroneous views on my duties, allowing me to seek the truth to resolve these corrupt dispositions. This was beneficial to my life entry, but I misunderstood and complained, suspecting that God was using these general affairs duties to reveal and eliminate me. I was full of suspicion and guardedness against God. This was so evil of me! Through God’s revelation, I reflected on my years of sacrifice and expending myself and saw that I hadn’t been doing these things to consider God’s intentions and fulfill the duty of a created being, but to exchange my performance of duties for a good destination from God. After my duties were reassigned, I thought my hope for blessings had been shattered, so I began to do my duties perfunctorily. I saw that I truly had no humanity and that I was utterly selfish and despicable!

Later on, I read more of God’s words: “When Noah did as God instructed, he did not know what God’s intentions were. He did not know what God wanted to accomplish. God had only given him a command and instructed him to do something, and without much explanation, Noah went ahead and did it. He did not try to secretly figure out God’s desires, nor did he resist God or show insincerity. He just went and did it accordingly with a pure and simple heart. Whatever God had him do, he did, and submitting and listening to God’s word underpinned his belief in what he did. That was how straightforwardly and simply he dealt with what God entrusted. His essence—the essence of his actions was submission, not second-guessing, not resisting, and moreover, not thinking of his own personal interests or his gains and losses. Further, when God said He would destroy the world with a flood, Noah did not ask when or ask what would become of things, and he certainly did not ask God how He was going to destroy the world. He simply did as God instructed. However God wanted it to be made and made with what, he did exactly as God asked and also commenced action immediately. He acted according to God’s instructions with an attitude of wanting to satisfy God. Was he doing it to help himself avoid the disaster? No. Did he ask God how much longer it would be before the world was to be destroyed? He did not. Did he ask God or did he know how long it would take to build the ark? He did not know that either. He simply submitted, listened, and acted accordingly(The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). From God’s words, I understood that Noah’s attitude toward his duty met with God’s approval, and this was what I needed to emulate and enter into. When God instructed Noah to build the ark, Noah didn’t understand God’s intention, but he didn’t resist God’s commission or speculate on God’s desires. He simply listened, obeyed, and did whatever God told him to do. I had to follow Noah’s example and do my duty to the best of my abilities, without seeking blessings, only seeking to have true submission to God. I also had to focus on learning lessons in my duty. Regardless of the duty I would do, I would still reveal corruption, and within the situations that God arranged, I had to focus on seizing on my thoughts and ideas to reflect on myself and seek the truth to resolve these things. Through this, I could gain something. God is righteous toward every person who follows Him. God has never said that doing leadership or text-based duties guarantees salvation, or that doing general affairs duties can’t earn His approval. No matter what kind of duty a person does, the key is whether one can seek the truth and learn lessons. Just like in the experiential testimony videos, some brothers and sisters did hosting duties, while others saw to the repairs of electronic devices, and so on. These are all general affairs jobs, but these people were able to focus on seeking the truth to resolve their corruption in the course of their duties, and thus, their life disposition was able to change. I didn’t understand the principles by which God determines people’s outcomes and destinations, and I always wanted to do duties that I believed would benefit my life entry. But I didn’t focus on reflecting on myself in the course of my duties or seek changes in my life disposition. So even if I continued doing text-based duty, what difference would it make? Would it mean I’d gain the truth? Would it signify a change in my disposition? If I didn’t pursue the truth, I would ultimately still be eliminated. Having understood God’s intention, what I had to focus on next was to do my current duty well, and whether I would ultimately receive God’s salvation wasn’t for me to consider.

After this, I began to put my heart into my duty, and I focused on reflecting on my thoughts, ideas, and corrupt disposition while doing my duty. Learning repairs meant I had to look at circuit diagrams and get to grips with how various components worked. At the beginning, I felt overwhelmed, thinking, “Repairing these devices is pretty difficult. Can I do it with the caliber I’ve got?” Sometimes, while looking at these things, I’d not want to learn anymore. But through reflection, I realized that the reason I would retreat when I encountered difficulties in my duty was mainly because I wasn’t steadfast in my duty, coveted my flesh, lacked drive, and didn’t have a heart that considered God’s intentions. So I sought God’s words on this to eat and drink and found the experiential testimonies of brothers and sisters to watch. From these things, I found a path of practice: I shouldn’t retreat when I encountered difficulties in my duties; I had to emulate Noah and have a heart that considered God’s intentions. Regardless of how difficult it was for Noah to build the ark, and no matter how great the workload was, Noah wasn’t daunted by these difficulties, but instead, he considered God’s intentions and cooperated with all his effort, actively solved the various problems involved in building the ark, and eventually he completed God’s commission. The difficulty of my duty couldn’t be compared to Noah’s, and I had resources and experiences shared by my brothers and sisters for learning repairs. So long as I relied on God and cooperated in a steadfast way, these difficulties could be overcome. When I calmed my heart and took to learning things bit by bit, although I learned slowly, I was still able to do it, and things weren’t as difficult as I’d thought. After practicing for a while, I not only learned some repair techniques, but my life also progressed a bit, and I spent my days feeling fulfilled.

By being reassigned in my duty, I came to understand and amend some of the wrong views I had toward duties. At the same time, I realized that my intent in believing in God and doing my duties wasn’t right, and that I wasn’t doing my duty as a created being to satisfy God, but to gain blessings. This wasn’t in accordance with God’s intentions. Now I only wish to truly submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and to do my present duty well. Thank God!

Previous: 25. Reflections After Admitting Responsibility and Resigning

Next: 27. Fear of Taking Responsibility Revealed My Selfishness and Despicableness

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