By Xiang Xun, China

In April 2023, I was doing a preacher’s duty in the church. At the time, several churches I was responsible for came to face arrest by the CCP one by one. Many leaders and workers were being arrested, so my partnered brother Wang Hui and I hurriedly contacted our brothers and sisters in order to move the books of God’s words. We had just finished dealing with the aftermath, when suddenly, news came that another two supervisors had been arrested. We started to constantly move house due to the threat to our safety. During that time, brothers and sisters from all the churches were constantly being arrested, and the various items of work in the churches could not progress normally. The brothers and sisters who had been arrested were tortured by the police. One sister could not bear the police torture and was left with no option but to jump off a building to her death. Hearing this stream of news, one after the other, I felt very nervous, and would often worry about my own predicament, “I am a wanted person, and once I’m caught and they realize I am a leader, they will surely torture me even more brutally. If I’m tortured to death, then won’t I lose the opportunity to be saved?” When I thought of this, every day my heart felt like it was being squeezed tight. During that time, the dual pressures of the threat to my safety and my work made me feel exhausted in body and mind.

In September, I learned that another partnered sister, Wen Xi, had been arrested. We had done duties together for many years, and not only was she very familiar with Wang Hui and me, she also knew a lot about the church: She knew many brothers, sisters, and host families. Just as we were so busy with handling the aftermath that our heads felt scrambled, we received another message from our brothers and sisters. They told us that Wen Xi had betrayed Wang Hui and me, the police had drawn sketches of our appearances, and they were searching for us so they could arrest us. They reminded us to be cautious and have our guard up. When I heard this news, I immediately panicked. When the great red dragon arrests believers, they are persecuted to the point of death; even elderly people of seventy or eighty are not spared. Now that they knew that Wang Hui and I were leaders in the church, they would not let us go lightly. The surveillance cameras of the great red dragon are all over the streets and alleys: Would they find us through CCTV? My constitution had always been somewhat weak. If arrested, would I be able to stand up to torture? If I were tortured to death, then I would not see the beauty of the kingdom. I thought of several co-workers who had been arrested previously. They had all been sentenced to over a decade, and I had been a leader even longer than they had. If I were arrested, my sentence would definitely be longer. I was already over sixty, so if I were arrested and sentenced to over a decade, I didn’t know if I would walk out of jail alive. Sometimes, I thought, “If I weren’t doing the duty of a leader, that would be better. Even if I were arrested, I would not face such a heavy sentence.” During that time, I was on tenterhooks every day. I could not calm down even when doing my duty. Especially when I heard the CCP often used drones to surveil, search and capture believers, I then became especially attentive to what was happening outside. Sometimes, I would hear some strange sounds from outside, and I’d rush to see if it was a drone. Sometimes, when I heard footsteps in the stairwell or the building super come to knock at the door, my heart would beat faster, and I would worry that it was the police coming to arrest us. At that time, my heart was not in my duty, and I did not pay attention to details as much when following up on the work. The results of various items of work were affected, and text-based work, which I was primarily responsible for, also yielded worse results. Although I was a bit anxious, I only wrote letters to inquire. I never tried to figure it out and seek where the problem was or how to resolve it. One day, I received a letter, which reported the leader of Chengnan Church for not doing actual work or solving real problems. When I read about the leader’s performance in the letter, I was a bit surprised. I had always followed up on the work of Chengnan Church, but I had not realized that the church leader was not doing actual work. Only at this time did I come before God to pray and reflect. I realized that for half a year I had been constantly moving house due to imminent danger, always anxious that if I were arrested and beaten to death by the police, I would not be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven. I was living in worry and anxiety, and was rarely able to focus on the details of my duty. Now, there were so many unresolved problems in Chengnan Church, and the results of text-based work were constantly declining. This was all because I was timid and scared, and not doing actual work. When I thought of this, I felt extremely distressed, and came before God to pray, “Dear God, throughout this time I have constantly been living in timidity and fear, and despite so many issues appearing in my duty I have been numb and unaware. Dear God, may You lead me to seek the truth, walk out from my incorrect states, and put my heart into my duty.”

Later, I saw a passage of God’s words: “Regardless of how ‘powerful’ Satan is, regardless of how audacious and ambitious it is, regardless of how great is its ability to inflict damage, regardless of how wide-ranging are the techniques with which it corrupts and lures man, regardless of how clever are the tricks and schemes with which it intimidates man, regardless of how changeable is the form in which it exists, it has never been able to create a single living thing, has never been able to set down laws or rules for the existence of all things, and has never been able to rule and control any object, whether animate or inanimate. Within the cosmos and the firmament, there is not a single person or object that was born from it, or exists because of it; there is not a single person or object that is ruled by it, or controlled by it. On the contrary, it not only has to live under the dominion of God, but, moreover, must submit to all of God’s orders and commands. Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God. In the eyes of God, Satan is inferior to the lilies on the mountain, to the birds flying in the air, to the fish in the sea, and to the maggots on the earth. Its role among all things is to serve all things, to serve mankind, and to serve God’s work and His plan of management. Regardless of how malicious its nature, and how evil its essence, the only thing it can do is to dutifully abide by its function: being of service to God, and providing a counterpoint to God. Such is the substance and position of Satan. Its essence is unconnected to life, unconnected to power, unconnected to authority; it is merely a plaything in God’s hands, just a machine in service to God!” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). From God’s words, I realized that God is sovereign over all things, and Satan is merely a pawn in God’s hand. However unbridled and audacious it may be, it dares not touch even a drop of water or a grain of sand on the land without God’s permission. When I realized this, I had faith that whether I would get arrested or not was in God’s hands. Without God’s permission, the great red dragon could not arrest me no matter how sophisticated the surveillance apparatus it employed. I thought back to 2018, when I was betrayed by Judases several times. At that time, the police had asked a renowned artist to sketch me so they could put out a notice for my arrest. But to this day they hadn’t arrested me. Furthermore, Wang Hui and I were both in imminent danger, and were frequently moving house throughout this time. Several times, we came very close to being arrested, but with God’s protection we had been fortunate enough to escape. I then thought of how Daniel persisted in worshiping God and was thrown into the lions’ den. He believed that his life was in God’s hands, and that the lions would not bite him without God’s permission. Daniel’s belief in God brought him protection, and even though he was in the lions’ den with starving lions, not a hair on his head was harmed. Furthermore, Daniel’s three friends had true faith in God. They would rather die than worship idols or betray God. They were thrown into the furnace, but walked out unharmed. I should follow their example, and I must have faith in God. When I thought of this, I didn’t feel as worried or scared anymore. I prayed to God to calm my heart so that I could devote myself to my duty.

One day, a sister shared an experiential testimony video with me. There were two passages of God’s words in it that really moved me. Almighty God says: “Antichrists believe in God to gain blessings. They never concern themselves with anything related to God’s house or God’s interests. Whatever they do has to revolve around their personal interests. If the work of God’s house doesn’t involve their personal interests, they simply don’t care and don’t inquire into it. How selfish they must be!” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). “Besides considering their own safety, what do certain antichrists also think about? They say, ‘Right now, our environment is unfavorable, so let’s show our faces less and spread the gospel less. That way, we’re less likely to be caught, and the church’s work won’t be destroyed. If we avoid getting caught, we won’t turn Judas, and then we’ll be able to remain in the future, won’t we?’ Aren’t there antichrists who use such excuses to mislead their brothers and sisters? … When they serve as leaders, they only care about their fleshly enjoyment, and they do not engage in actual work. Apart from engaging in a bit of correspondence with various churches, they don’t do anything else. They hide in some place and don’t meet with anyone, keeping themselves sealed away, and the brothers and sisters don’t know who their leader is—that is the degree to which they are afraid. So, isn’t it correct to say that they are leaders in name only? (Yes.) They don’t engage in any actual work as leaders; they only care about hiding themselves. When others ask them, ‘How is it being a leader?’ they will say, ‘I’m incredibly busy, and for the sake of safety, I have to keep moving house. This environment is so unsettling that I can’t focus on my work.’ They always feel like many eyes are watching them, and don’t know where’s safe to hide. Apart from wearing disguises, hiding themselves in different places, and not staying in one location, they don’t do any actual work every day. Do such leaders exist? (Yes.) What principles do they follow? These people say, ‘A crafty rabbit has three burrows. In order for a rabbit to guard against a predator’s attack, it has to prepare three burrows to hide itself in. If a person encounters danger and has to escape, but they have nowhere to hide, is that acceptable? We must learn from rabbits! God’s created animals have this survival ability, and people should learn from them.’ Since taking on leadership roles, they have come to realize this doctrine, and even believe that they have understood the truth. In reality, they are terribly frightened. As soon as they hear about a leader who got reported to the police because the place they lived in was unsafe, or about a leader who was targeted by the great red dragon’s spies because they went out too often to do their duty and interacted with too many people, and how these people ended up getting arrested and sentenced, they immediately become frightened. They think, ‘Oh no, will I be the next one to be arrested? I must learn from this. I shouldn’t be too active. If I can avoid doing some of the church’s work, I won’t do it. If I can avoid showing my face, I won’t do it. I’ll minimize my work as much as possible, avoid going out, avoid interacting with anyone, and ensure that nobody knows I’m a leader. These days, who can afford to care about anyone else? Just staying alive is already a challenge!’ Since taking on the role of a leader, apart from carrying a bag and hiding, they don’t do any work. They live on tenterhooks, in constant fear of being caught and sentenced. Suppose that they hear someone say, ‘If you get caught, you’ll be killed! If you weren’t a leader, if you were just an ordinary believer, you might be let out after just paying a little fine, but since you’re a leader, it’s hard to say. It’s too dangerous! Some leaders or workers who got caught refused to give up any information and were beaten to death by the police.’ Once they hear about someone being beaten to death, their fear intensifies, and they become even more afraid to work. Every day, all they think about is how to avoid getting caught, how to avoid showing their faces, how to avoid being monitored, and how to avoid contact with their brothers and sisters. They rack their brains thinking about these things and completely forget about their duties. Are these loyal people? Can people like this handle any work? (No, they can’t.)” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God has exposed that antichrists believe in God in order to gain blessings. They regard their own interests and safety as more important than anything else. As soon as they face a dangerous environment, antichrists run and hide to ensure their own safety, and they may cast their duties to one side and neglect them. When I saw how God had exposed these manifestations of being an antichrist, I thought of my own state throughout that period of time. In the beginning when the environment hadn’t been so dangerous, I could still actively lead my brothers and sisters in preaching the gospel, and my work also achieved some results. However, when the church was facing widespread arrests, and I was betrayed by a Judas, I worried that if I were arrested and beaten to death then I wouldn’t have a good outcome or destination. In order to protect myself, I would spend all day thinking about how to keep myself safe, without being so diligent in following up on work. The text-based work hadn’t produced any results for several months, and I hadn’t carefully tried to figure out where the problems were or how to resolve them. In addition, I hadn’t been diligent in following up with the work of Chengnan Church. I hadn’t realized that the false leader was not doing actual work, and hadn’t dismissed them in a timely manner. This had led to the church’s various items of work being obstructed. I had even begun to have feelings of regret at being a leader due to the fear of being arrested and receiving a harsh sentence. When I thought of all this, I finally realized that all my years of doing duty, undergoing hardship, and expending myself were built on the foundation of gaining blessings and benefits. Now, as many churches faced arrests, church work needed people to cooperate. In particular, Chengnan Church that I was responsible for had many new members, who had not yet established a firm foundation on the true way. They were timid and scared to gather because of the threat of persecution and arrest by the great red dragon, and urgently needed support and watering. Some church leaders and workers had been arrested, and there was nobody to cooperate in the work. There was also an urgent need for new elections. As a preacher, I should shoulder responsibility and consider God’s intentions at this time. Just as God says: “That God’s intimates are able to serve Him directly is because they have been given God’s great commission and God’s burden, they are able to make God’s heart their own, and take God’s burden as their own, and they give no consideration to their future prospects: Even when they have no prospects, and they stand to gain nothing, they will always believe in God with a God-loving heart. And so, this kind of person is God’s intimate” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How to Serve in Harmony With God’s Intentions). From God’s words, I saw that those who are truly loyal to God do not consider their own safety or prospects. Instead, whatever God considers urgent, they consider urgent, and the more dangerous the environment, the more they try to figure out how to do their duty well, support weaker brothers and sisters, and properly safeguard the church’s work. However, when I had been in a dangerous environment that had affected my life, outcome, and destination, I had cast my duty aside and even regretted doing the duty of a leader. Although on the surface it didn’t look as if I had thrown in the towel, my heart and mind hadn’t already been on my duty. Many flaws had appeared in the work, but I hadn’t noticed. I hadn’t been doing actual work! Today, God has raised me up to do the duties of a leader, in the hope that I can shoulder this responsibility and do the work of the church well, and in order to use the performance of this duty to impart various aspects of truths to me. However, in order to protect myself, not only had I not shown loyalty in my duty, I had also impeded the work. What ounce of conscience was there in this? In the past, I had felt that because I had believed in God for so many years, and was able to forsake my family, let go of fleshly pleasures, and also to bear hardship and pay a price in doing my duty, I could be considered someone who truly believed in God and was pursuing the truth. Now, the revelation prompted by this environment had finally allowed me to see my true stature clearly. I came before God and prayed, “Dear God, when I found out I had been betrayed by a Judas, I lived in a state of self-preservation. I was not diligent in my duty and I obstructed the work. I feel very guilty and reproachful of myself. Dear God, I have known that I am selfish and despicable, and I do not want to live in this state any longer. From now on, I want to adjust my state and do my work well. May You guide me.” After praying, my heart was somewhat calmer. I quickly discussed with Wang Hui how to resolve the problems in our work. We first verified the letter of report from Chengnan Church, and dismissed the false leader in accordance with principles. As for text-based work, I discovered that it was not producing good results because the text-based workers were undisciplined, didn’t bear burden for the performance of their duties, and also didn’t work harmoniously together. Later, I fellowshipped with the supervisor regarding this issue and resolved it. After a period of supervision and follow-up, the results of the text-based work started to improve. Seeing this, I couldn’t help but think that if I had been more diligent in my duty previously, the work wouldn’t have been delayed for so long, so I felt even more guilty and reproachful of myself, and privately resolved to make sure to do my duty properly in future.

One day in February 2024, I received a message from the brothers and sisters, saying that Wen Xi had been arrested again and had betrayed some details about me, and the great red dragon had sketched my picture again. A few days later, I heard that Sister Yang Shuo, who had been our driver recently, had been arrested by the police. Hearing all this news in quick succession put me on tenterhooks. The great red dragon’s usual tactic is to tail and investigate a person for a period of time before arresting them, and only when they have confirmed the target do they make an arrest. Not long before, Yang Shuo had given us a lift twice. If the police had been tailing her before they arrested her, then had our last few moves been carried out in full view of the police? Now, with Yang Shuo arrested and Wen Xi having betrayed some details about me, if I were arrested, the police would surely torture me. In the event that I was beaten to death, surely my hopes of salvation would be gone? The more I thought about it, the more worried I became, so I prayed to God, asking that God would lead me to stand firm in my testimony in this environment. After praying, my heart felt a little calmer. I remembered some of God’s words that I had read around that time, and searched them out to read. Almighty God says: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—every sort of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Were they lawfully executed for their crimes? No. They were condemned, beaten, scolded, and put to death because they spread the Lord’s gospel and were rejected by the people of the world—that is how they were martyred. … Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their means of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the means of their death and departure was nor how it happened, it was not how God defined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, they used precisely those means to condemn this world and to testify to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to testify to God’s deeds, to testify to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to confirm to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redemption He did for all humanity allows humanity to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. Those who were martyred for spreading the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to what extent did they perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives. Family, wealth, and the material things of this life are all external things; the only thing that is related to the self is life. To every living person, life is the thing most worthy of being treasured, the most precious thing and, as it happens, these people were able to offer their most precious possession—life—as confirmation of and testimony to God’s love for mankind. Until the day they died, they did not deny God’s name, nor did they deny God’s work, and they used their last moments of life to testify to the existence of this fact—is this not the highest form of testimony? This is the best way of doing one’s duty; this is what it is to fulfill one’s responsibility. When Satan threatened and terrorized them, and, in the end, even when it made them pay the price of their lives, they did not abandon their responsibility. This is what it is to fulfill one’s duty to the utmost extent. What do I mean by this? Do I mean to have you use the same method to testify of God and to spread His gospel? You do not necessarily need to do so, but you must understand that this is your responsibility, that if God needs you to, you should accept it as something you are honor-bound to do. People today have fear and worry inside them, but what purpose do those feelings serve? If God does not need you to do this, what is the use in worrying about it? If God needs you to do this, you should not shirk this responsibility nor reject it. You should cooperate proactively and accept it without worry. No matter how one dies, they should not die before Satan, and not die in Satan’s hands. If one is going to die, they should die in God’s hands. People came from God, and to God they return—such is the reason and attitude that a created being should possess” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). After reading God’s words, I felt a sense of release. The disciples of the Lord Jesus were persecuted for propagating God’s gospel. Some were dismembered by five horses, some were stoned to death, some were beheaded, and some were crucified upside down. They never abandoned preaching the gospel because of persecution, and until they died they never denied God’s name: They used their lives to bear resounding testimony for God. Though to man, their bodies had died, their souls had returned before their Creator. I thought of the words of the Lord Jesus: “He that finds his life shall lose it: and he that loses his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39). The words of the Lord Jesus are very clear. If you lose your life due to belief in God or performance of your duty, although your flesh dies, in God your soul will be saved, and you will gain true life. As a created being, I should unconditionally submit to the environment arranged by God. If God allowed me to be arrested by the great red dragon, I should cast aside my life to stand firm in my testimony for God, and discharge my responsibilities as a created being. Even if the great red dragon really tortured me to death, that would be a testimony that shamed Satan. It would be valuable and significant. If I carried on like before, dragging out an ignoble existence, thinking only of saving my own skin, then even if I protected my flesh, I would not fulfill the responsibility of a created being, and would not bear testimony to God. That would be truly losing the opportunity to be saved. Once I understood this, I was not timid and afraid anymore. Now, I had not been arrested by the great red dragon, and I still had opportunities to do my duty, so I should do the duties I ought to do properly. In particular, due to arrests these days, the work of some churches had not completely recovered. Some brothers and sisters were still living in negativity and weakness, and the great red dragon was still doggedly arresting brothers and sisters. I should dedicate all my efforts and fellowship God’s intentions with my brothers and sisters, so that everybody could rely on God, do their duties well, and stand firm in their testimony. When I thought of this, I felt enlightened. Afterward, I prayed to God and consciously put my heart into my duties. As for the problems in the church’s work, I discussed and fellowshipped with Wang Hui to resolve them, and I wrote letters to fellowship individually with the churches whose work was not achieving good results. After some time, various items of work showed some improvement, and I felt very fulfilled. Thank God!