By Jiang Xiao, China

When I was young, my family was pretty poor. My parents worked hard to earn money to support my education. They wouldn’t spend money on their own medical needs when they were sick, and instead, they provided me with good food and clothing. When I graduated from junior middle school, my grandpa told my dad, “Don’t support your girl in her studies anymore.” But my dad said, “Whether it’s a daughter or a son, we treat our children the same.” He also said that since my health wasn’t good, I couldn’t do strenuous work, and that I needed to focus on studying. This made me very grateful to my parents, and I felt that I couldn’t fail them after their painstaking efforts. From then on, I studied hard. Whenever I received a scholarship and saw my parents’ happy expressions, I really felt like I hadn’t let them down. I resolved to myself, “When I make something of myself in the future, I will be filial toward my parents and repay their kindness of raising me.”

When I was nineteen, my family accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days. By eating and drinking God’s words, I came to understand that only the pursuit of the truth and the good performance of duty leads to a meaningful life. So I gave up my studies and devoted myself to my duties. One day, shortly after a sister arrived at our home, the police suddenly barged in and took her away. They also took my dad and me to the police station for questioning. Although we were released afterward, people from the local Religious Affairs Bureau and the police station came to our home to warn us to stop believing in God. To be able to do my duty, I was forced to leave home. While doing my duties in another region, whenever I saw the sons and daughters of the sister of the host home showing filial piety to her, it’d stir up emotions deep within me and I’d be unable to help but think of my own parents. They’d worked so hard to raise me, yet I couldn’t be there to take care of them. I felt so indebted to them.

In 2019, the great red dragon’s arrests became really severe in the city where I was doing my duty, and since we couldn’t find safe host homes to stay at the moment, the leaders asked us to return to our hometowns if we were able to. At that time, my parents weren’t home as they were renting a place elsewhere, so I decided to go to their place first. When I met up with my parents, I noticed that my mom’s gaze was a bit vacant, and she kept asking me the same questions. My younger brother told me that my mom had suffered a stroke and cerebellar atrophy, and that she’d just been discharged from the hospital a few days before. I recalled that I had noticed some symptoms in my mom a few years before, but I’d never paid attention to them. I wondered, “If I had been by her side taking care of her and reminding her to focus on her health, would her condition have become so serious?” During that time, I spent my days focused on my mom, cooking meals that were good for her health, taking her to exercise, and teaching her how to take care of her health. I devoted all my energy to taking care of my mom, and I gave no thought to my duties. Two months passed in the blink of an eye, and one day, I received a letter from the leaders, telling me to go to another region and to do my duties. That day, my aunt and uncle came to my house. At first, they saw that I was at home taking care of my mom and said nothing, but then they suddenly asked me, “Are you going to leave after staying for a few days?” Seeing that I didn’t respond, they scolded me, “You can’t leave again. You have to stay and take care of your parents. Your parents supported you when they were young, and now that they’re in their seventies, don’t you feel that you should do something for them? If it weren’t for your parents raising and taking care of you, would you be where you are today? You shouldn’t be so selfish!” Their words pierced my heart like a knife, and for a moment, I was at a loss for words. Without my parents taking care of me, I wouldn’t be where I was. If I just enjoyed their care without giving back, wouldn’t that make me an ingrate? When I was young, I saw that my cousin was only concerned with his own physical pleasures, and that he didn’t care for his parents when they were sick. I felt that he was truly lacking in humanity and that I couldn’t be that kind of person. Now that my parents were old, I felt that if I couldn’t shoulder the responsibility of caring for them, I would be unfilial. During that time, I felt very pained and conflicted, so I prayed to God, “God! I know doing my duties is my responsibility, but I see my parents getting older and being in poor health, I just can’t stop worrying about them, and I don’t have the mind to go elsewhere to do my duties. Please guide and enlighten me to emerge from this state.”

One day, I read a passage of God’s words: “Besides birth and childrearing, the parents’ responsibility in their children’s lives is simply to provide them with a formal environment to grow up in, for nothing except the predestination of the Creator has a bearing on a person’s fate. No one can control what kind of future a person will have; it is predetermined long in advance, and not even one’s parents can change one’s fate. As far as fate is concerned, everyone is independent, and everyone has their own fate. So, no one’s parents can stave off one’s fate in life or exert the slightest influence on the role one plays in life. It could be said that the family into which one is destined to be born and the environment in which one grows up are nothing more than the preconditions for fulfilling one’s mission in life. They do not in any way determine a person’s fate in life or the kind of destiny within which a person fulfills their mission. And so, no one’s parents can assist one in accomplishing one’s mission in life, and likewise, no one’s relatives can help one assume one’s role in life. How one accomplishes one’s mission and in what kind of living environment one performs one’s role are entirely determined by one’s fate in life. In other words, no other objective conditions can influence a person’s mission, which is predestined by the Creator. All people become mature in the particular environments in which they grow up; then gradually, step by step, they set off down their own roads in life and fulfill the destinies planned for them by the Creator. Naturally, involuntarily, they enter the vast sea of humanity and assume their own posts in life, where they begin to fulfill their responsibilities as created beings for the sake of the Creator’s predestination, for the sake of His sovereignty” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). After reading God’s words, I realized that my parents only gave birth to me, raised me, and provided me with an environment in which to grow. But it was God who truly gave me life. It is God who has granted me the breath of life that allows me to survive to this day. Moreover, our fates are in the hands of the Creator, and nobody can determine another person’s fate. My parents can’t control my fate, and I can’t control theirs either. I thought about how suddenly my mother fell ill, and that my aunt was able to take her to the hospital for treatment in time. Wasn’t this also part of God’s sovereignty and arrangements? I couldn’t decide when my mom would get sick or how severe her illness would be, and no matter how much I worried, I couldn’t alleviate my mom’s suffering at all. Even if I were home with her, I couldn’t solve any problem. Over the past two months, I had put my heart and soul into taking care of my mom, even neglecting my duties. However, my mom’s illness not only didn’t improve but actually worsened. I even thought that if I had been with her at home, she might not have gotten so sick. Wasn’t this the viewpoint of disbelievers? I read that God’s word says: “No matter what you do, what you think, or what you plan, those things are not important. What is important is whether you can understand and truly believe that all created beings are in the hands of God. Some parents have that blessing and that destiny to be able to enjoy domestic bliss and the happiness of a large and prosperous family. This is God’s sovereignty, and a blessing God gives them. Some parents don’t have this destiny; God has not arranged this for them. They are not blessed to enjoy having a happy family, or to enjoy having their children stay by their side. This is God’s orchestration and people cannot force this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). I thought about how many parents grow old without the company of their children. This is just their fate. I had to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements in how I treat my parents, and I couldn’t try and impose my own will on the situation. I remembered my mom had been diagnosed with coronary heart disease when she was young, but she kept working hard to earn money, and didn’t take care of her health at all. After finding God, she realized that pursuing the truth and doing duties well are the most important things, and with the right life goal, she stopped working herself to the bone as she had been, and her health gradually improved. It was already God’s grace that she had been alive until this point. Now that my parents were old, even though I couldn’t care for them, my aunts and uncles would visit them and take good care of their material needs. Wasn’t this out of God’s sovereignty? Thinking about these things, I felt less pain in my heart and found the will to go out to do my duties. About two months later, I received a letter from my dad, saying that my mom’s health had improved a lot. He said that she could now cook and go out to buy things, and that she was recovering really well.

One day in June 2021, I received a letter from the church, saying that my younger brother had been tracked and monitored by the great red dragon, and that shortly after he got home, the police arrested both my parents and my brother, and they also inquired about my whereabouts. In the letter, the church warned me not to return home. After receiving this letter, I became even more worried about my parents’ health. My mom already had health issues, and she couldn’t endure fear and anxiety. My dad’s heart wasn’t good, so I wondered whether he’d be able to withstand the police’s intimidation and threats. What would happen if he had an episode? I really wanted to go back and see them, but the police were still hunting me, and if I went back, I’d be walking right into a trap. So I prayed to God, asking Him to strengthen their faith, so that no matter what suffering they faced, they wouldn’t betray the church and instead be able to stand firm in their testimonies for God. My parents were detained for half a month and then released, but I heard no news of my brother. Although my parents were released, they were often harassed by the police, who also threatened my parents to get me to hurry back and turn myself in. During that time, whenever I had free time, I would think about my parents and worry about them a lot.

Around December 2022, I learned that my dad had fallen ill and been hospitalized, and relatives back home were inciting my parents to get me back. I thought to myself, I started to feel disturbed again, thinking, “My relatives will surely call me an ingrate. My parents spent so many years raising me and I haven’t repaid them at all. In what way do I have any conscience?” At that time, I had just taken on a new task and wasn’t familiar with the skills involved. There were always deviations and flaws in my work, but I didn’t seek solutions or summarize these things. Instead, I even found excuses for myself, feeling that although my state was bad, I still hadn’t abandoned my duties. Because my state never changed, I didn’t achieve results in my duties, and I was dismissed in the end. After being dismissed, I really wanted to return to my parents as soon as I could, but the police were still hunting me and I couldn’t go back. I was in so much inner pain during that time, so I prayed to God, asking Him to enlighten and guide me so I could escape this incorrect state. One day, I read a passage of God’s words and my state began to turn around. Almighty God says: “So, regarding people, no matter whether your parents looked after you meticulously or took great care of you, in any case, they were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation. Regardless of the reason why they raised you, it was their responsibility—because they gave birth to you, they should take responsibility for you. Based on this, can everything that your parents did for you be considered kindness? It can’t, right? (That’s right.) Your parents fulfilling their responsibility to you doesn’t count as kindness, so if they fulfill their responsibility toward a flower or a plant, watering it and fertilizing it, does that count as kindness? (No.) That is even further from being kindness. Flowers and plants grow better outside—if they’re planted in the ground, with wind, sun, and rainwater, they thrive. They don’t grow as well when they’re planted in a pot indoors as they do outside, but wherever they are, they’re living, right? No matter where they are, it has been ordained by God. You are a living person, and God takes responsibility for every life, enabling it to survive, and to follow the law that all created beings abide by. But as a person, you live in the environment that your parents raise you in, so you should grow up and exist in that environment. You living in that environment is on a larger scale due to God’s ordination; on a smaller scale, it is due to your parents raising you, right? In any case, by raising you your parents are fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation. Raising you into an adult is their obligation and responsibility, and this cannot be called kindness. If it cannot be called kindness, then is it not something that you ought to enjoy? (It is.) This is a kind of right that you should enjoy. You should be raised by your parents, because before you reach adulthood, the role that you play is that of a child being brought up. Therefore, your parents are just fulfilling a kind of responsibility toward you, and you are just receiving it, but you are certainly not receiving grace or kindness from them. For any living creature, bearing and looking after children, reproducing, and raising the next generation is a kind of responsibility. For example, birds, cows, sheep, and even tigers have to take care of their offspring after they reproduce. There are no living creatures that do not raise their offspring. It’s possible that there are some exceptions, but there are not many of them. It’s a natural phenomenon in the existence of living creatures, it’s an instinct for living creatures, and it cannot be attributed to kindness. They are just abiding by a law that the Creator set out for animals and for mankind. Therefore, your parents raising you isn’t a kind of kindness. Based on this, it can be said that your parents are not your creditors. They are fulfilling their responsibility to you. No matter how much effort and money they spend on you, they should not ask you to recompense them, because this is their responsibility as parents. Since it is a responsibility and an obligation, it should be free, and they should not ask for compensation. By raising you, your parents were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation, and this should be unpaid, and it should not be a transaction. So, you do not need to approach your parents or handle your relationship with them according to the idea of recompensing them. If you do treat your parents, pay them back, and handle your relationship with them according to this idea, that is inhumane. At the same time, it is likely to make you restrained and bound by your fleshly feelings, and it will be hard for you to emerge from these entanglements, to the extent that you might even lose your way. Your parents are not your creditors, so you have no obligation to realize all of their expectations. You have no obligation to foot the bill for their expectations. That is to say, they can have their own expectations. You have your own choices, and the life path and destiny that God has set out for you, which have nothing to do with your parents” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). After reading God’s words, I understood that any species that reproduces will do everything possible to raise and care for its next generation. This is a law and rule established by God for all living beings. This is a kind of responsibility and obligation, but it can’t be considered kindness. Just like in the animal kingdom, whether it’s a fierce tiger or lion, or a gentle deer or antelope, they all raise their young and find food for them after they reproduce, sometimes choosing to go hungry themselves to feed their young on time, until their young can survive independently. This is instinctive. I also thought about the poultry we raised at home. After hatching chicks, the hen would always protect and take care of them, and when foraging for food, she’d feed the chicks first. When there was danger, the hen would rush forward, and on rainy days or when it was hot and there wasn’t any shelter, the hen would allow herself to suffer to shelter the chicks under her wings. When the chicks grew up and were able to survive on their own, they would naturally leave the hen, and the hen would have fulfilled her responsibility. I saw that raising offspring is a survival law set out by God for both animals and humans, and that this is a responsibility and obligation. It is selfless and requires no repayment. When I realized these things, the burden of constantly feeling indebted to my parents had been suddenly lifted from my heart. I’d always viewed my parents’ raising me as kindness, feeling that this was a debt I needed to repay over the course of my life. This weighed heavily on me and brought me exhaustion and pain. After reading God’s words, I felt a sense of liberation in my heart. My parents raising me was their responsibility. It couldn’t be counted as kindness and there was no need to repay it. Moreover, my parents only cared for and raised me, and it was God who truly gave me life. If God hadn’t given me life, I wouldn’t have survived. I thought back to my childhood when I had low immunity. I often caught colds and fevers and even contracted pneumonia. The doctor told my parents to make sure I wouldn’t catch a chill again, as another fever might develop into tuberculosis, but my parents were helpless. But, strangely, after that, I only caught colds and never had a fever again. My parents found it incredible. Gradually, my health improved a bit, and my immunity strengthened. If it weren’t for God’s care and protection, even if my parents took the best care of me, I still might not live in good health. It is God who has given me everything, and He is the one I should repay. But I not only failed to be grateful but also opposed God and argued back because I wasn’t able to care for my parents. I had no heart to submit to God at all. I was truly rebellious!

Later, I asked myself, “When doing my duties conflicts with being filial to my parents, how should I practice appropriately?” I read two passages of God’s words that helped me understand the principles of practice in this regard. Almighty God says: “In fact, honoring one’s parents is just a kind of responsibility, and it falls short of the practice of the truth. It is submitting to God that is the practice of the truth, it is accepting God’s commission that is a manifestation of submission to God, and it is those who renounce everything to do their duties who are followers of God. In sum, the most important task that lies before you is to perform your duty well. That is the practice of the truth, and it is a manifestation of submission to God. So, what is the truth that people should primarily practice now? (Performing one’s duty.) That is right, loyally performing one’s duty is practicing the truth. If a person does not perform their duty sincerely, then they are just laboring” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (4)). “If, based on your living environment and the context you find yourself in, honoring your parents does not conflict with you completing God’s commission and performing your duty—or, in other words, if honoring your parents does not impact your loyal performance of your duty—then you can practice them both at the same time. You do not need to outwardly separate from your parents, and you do not need to outwardly renounce or reject them. In what situation does this apply? (When honoring one’s parents does not conflict with the performance of one’s duty.) That is right. In other words, if your parents do not try to hinder your belief in God, and they are also believers, and they really support and encourage you to perform your duty loyally and complete God’s commission, then your relationship with your parents is not a fleshly relationship between relatives, in the regular sense of the word, and it is a relationship between brothers and sisters of the church. In that case, aside from interacting with them as fellow brothers and sisters of the church, you must also fulfill a few of your filial responsibilities to them. You must show them a bit of extra concern. As long as it does not affect the performance of your duty, that is, so long as your heart is not constrained by them, you can call your parents to ask them how they are doing and to show a bit of concern for them, you can help them to resolve a few difficulties and handle some of their life problems, and you can even help them to resolve some of the difficulties they have in terms of their life entry—you can do all of these things. In other words, if your parents do not obstruct your belief in God, you should maintain this relationship with them, and you should fulfill your responsibilities to them. And why should you show concern for them, take care of them, and ask them how they are doing? Because you are their child and you have this relationship with them, you have another kind of responsibility, and because of this responsibility, you must ask after them a little more and provide them with more substantive assistance. So long as it does not affect the performance of your duty, and so long as your parents do not hinder or disturb your faith in God and your performance of your duty, and they do not hold you back either, then it is natural and fitting for you to fulfill your responsibilities to them, and you must do this to the extent where your conscience does not reproach you—this is the lowest standard that you must meet. If you cannot honor your parents at home due to the impact and hindrance of your circumstances, then you do not have to hold to this rule. You should put yourself at the mercy of God’s orchestrations and submit to His arrangements, and you do not need to insist on honoring your parents. Does God condemn this? God does not condemn this; He does not force people to do this. … If you honor your parents while living amid your feelings, then you are not fulfilling your responsibilities, and you are not abiding by God’s words, because you have abandoned God’s commission, and you are not someone who follows the way of God. When you encounter this kind of situation, if it does not cause delays to your duty or impact your loyal performance of your duty, you may do some things that you are able to in order to show filial piety to your parents, and you can fulfill the responsibilities that you are capable of fulfilling. In sum, this is what people ought to do and are capable of doing within the scope of humanity. If you get trapped by your feelings, and this holds up the performance of your duty, then that completely contravenes God’s intentions. God never required you to do that, God only demands that you fulfill your responsibilities to your parents, that is all. That is what it means to have filial piety” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (4)). God clearly explains the principles of treating one’s parents, especially when God says: “Honoring one’s parents is just a kind of responsibility, and it falls short of the practice of the truth. It is submitting to God that is the practice of the truth, it is accepting God’s commission that is a manifestation of submission to God, and it is those who renounce everything to do their duties who are followers of God.” God’s words made me realize that performing the duty of a created being is the most important thing, more important than anything else. I can honor my parents as long as it doesn’t impact my duty, but no matter how well I honor my parents, I am just fulfilling my responsibility as a child, and it can’t be considered as practicing the truth. My parents both believe in God and support me in my duty, and my concern and affection for them are within the realm of humanity and conscience. In appropriate circumstances, I should care for them as much as I can, just as I would take on household chores to the best of my ability when I returned home, and when my parents were ill, I would also be by their side caring for them. But when conditions don’t allow, I should submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and not insist on my own will. I thought of those Western missionaries, who left their families, parents, and children to travel thousands of miles to China to propagate the gospel of the Lord Jesus. They didn’t think about their parents or children, but about how to fulfill God’s commission and help more people receive God’s redemption. They were able to consider God’s intentions and fulfill their duties. This is what it means to have conscience and reason. I also thought about how our family had been able to accept God’s work of the last days and had the opportunity to be saved. If there had been no brothers and sisters to preach the gospel to us, how would we have been able to receive God’s salvation? If I were only satisfied with physical affections and didn’t do my duty, then I would be a truly selfish person and lacking in humanity, and I’d be condemned and detested by God.

Later, I read another passage of God’s word that brightened my heart even more. God says: “The parental relationship is the most difficult relationship for someone to handle emotionally, but in fact, it’s not entirely unmanageable. Only on the basis of understanding the truth can people treat this matter correctly and rationally. Do not start from the perspective of feelings, and do not start from the insights or the perspectives of worldly people. Instead, treat your parents in the proper manner according to God’s words. What role do parents actually play, what do children actually mean to their parents, what attitude should children have toward their parents, and how should people handle and resolve the relationship between parents and children? People should not view these things based on feelings, nor should they be influenced by any wrong ideas or prevailing sentiments; they should be approached correctly based on God’s words. If you fail to fulfill any of your responsibilities to your parents in the environment ordained by God, or if you do not play any role in their lives whatsoever, is that being unfilial? Will your conscience accuse you? Your neighbors, classmates, and relatives will all berate you and criticize you behind your back. They will call you an unfilial child, saying: ‘Your parents sacrificed so much for you, invested so much painstaking effort in you, and did so much for you ever since you were little, and you, being the ungrateful child you are, just disappear without a trace, not even sending word back that you’re safe. Not only do you not come back for New Year, you don’t even give a phone call or send a greeting to your parents.’ Every time you hear such words, your conscience bleeds and weeps, and you feel condemned. ‘Oh, they’re right.’ Your face flushes with heat, and your heart trembles as if being pricked by needles. Have you had these types of feelings? (Yes, before.) Are the neighbors and your relatives right in saying that you are unfilial? (No. I’m not unfilial.) … First of all, most people choose to leave home to perform their duties in part because of the overarching objective circumstances, which necessitate them leaving their parents; they cannot stay by their parents’ side to take care of them and accompany them. It’s not that they willingly choose to leave their parents; this is the objective reason. For another thing, subjectively speaking, you go out to perform your duties not because you wanted to leave your parents and escape your responsibilities, but because of God’s calling. In order to cooperate with God’s work, accept His calling, and perform the duties of a created being, you had no choice but to leave your parents; you could not stay by their side to accompany them and take care of them. You didn’t leave them to avoid responsibilities, right? Leaving them to avoid your responsibilities and having to leave them to answer God’s calling and perform your duties—aren’t these of two different natures? (Yes.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). After reading God’s words, I realized that I hadn’t been viewing people and things according to the truth and God’s words, and that I’d been influenced by traditional culture, treating “Filial piety is a virtue to be held above all else” and “An unfilial person is lower than a beast” as positive things. I’d believed that if I couldn’t go home to take care of my parents while doing my duty, I was lacking in conscience and humanity, and an utter ingrate. When I was criticized by relatives, I felt a deep sense of guilt in my heart. Now I saw that I hadn’t seen through to the essence of the matter. In reality, my inability to care for my parents was because of the CCP’s persecution that was preventing me from returning home. If I were in conditions that allowed, and only cared for my own interests, neglecting my responsibilities as a child, then that would truly be unfilial. I realized that I had no truth and couldn’t discern the positive from the negative. I was so pathetic!

I then recalled a passage of God’s words: “Regardless of what duty one performs, it is the most proper thing they could do, the most beautiful and just thing among humankind. As created beings, people ought to perform their duty, and only then can they receive the approval of the Creator. Created beings live under the Creator’s dominion, and they accept all that is provided by God and everything that comes from God, so they should fulfill their responsibilities and obligations. This is perfectly natural and justified, and was ordained by God. From this it can be seen that, for people to perform the duty of a created being is more just, beautiful, and noble than anything else done while living on earth; nothing among humankind is more meaningful or worthy, and nothing brings greater meaning and worth to the life of a created person, than performing the duty of a created being. On earth, only the group of people who truly and sincerely perform the duty of a created being are those who submit to the Creator. This group does not follow worldly trends; they submit to the leadership and guidance of God, only listen to the words of the Creator, accept the truths expressed by the Creator, and live by the words of the Creator. This is the truest, most resounding testimony, and it is the best testimony of belief in God” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). Pondering God’s words, my heart felt much brighter, and I understood that performing our duties is the highest responsibility of created beings, and that it is more important than anything else we could do. Performing our duties constitutes the value and meaning of our lives. Realizing this, I felt indebted to God. I had to do my duties diligently, and I couldn’t be bound by traditional culture any longer. No matter how my relatives criticized me, I had to prioritize my duties. I realized that God had long since arranged my parents’ destinies, and even though I wasn’t by their side, my relatives would help take care of them, and sometimes the brothers and sisters would come to visit them. My parents had their lessons to learn in facing illness and the persecution of the great red dragon, and God also wanted their testimonies. I became willing to entrust my parents to God and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements in all things. After realizing these things, my heart felt relaxed and liberated, and I gradually let go of my worries and concerns for my parents. Thank God!