By Jinyi, China

I was born into an ordinary farming family, and my parents taught me from a young age that I had to study hard so that when I grew up, I could make something of myself, live a good life, and not end up like them, uneducated, and only able to make a living through farming, as this wasn’t only hard and exhausting but also looked down upon by others. So, I vowed to myself that I’d study hard and make a lot of money to live a superior life. When I grew up, I became a doctor. After I married, I worked hard to improve my professional skills, studying hard and taking certification exams. I spent my days like a machine, sometimes only sleeping two hours a day. Through my hard work, I made my way to a hospital in a big city and started earning a good salary. Because I earned a lot, my neighbors, relatives, and friends all envied me. I felt pleased and had a sense of superiority, thinking to myself, “Having money is truly great!” Although I developed serious insomnia from overworking myself and I couldn’t sleep through the night, I still thought what I’d done was worth it. In March 2013, a colleague and I opened a large outpatient clinic. We had several departments and a few retired doctors, and business was great. During a dinner, my relatives, friends, and classmates all praised me for my capabilities, saying, “You’re so young and you already have a house and car, and now you’ve opened a large clinic. You’ve truly accomplished a lot for someone your age!” I was so happy, and I wanted to make my business even bigger and better. Later, I became the legal representative of the clinic, and I managed all aspects of the clinic, big and small. At that time, I had accepted the work of Almighty God in the last days for more than two months, and through gatherings and reading God’s words, I understood that everything I had had come from God, and that God is sovereign over, provides, and controls everything. God had brought me into His house and gave me the chance to be saved and I felt very fortunate. During gatherings, I actively participated in fellowship, and every gathering brought me great enjoyment and many gains. I really enjoyed days like these, and even though my work was very busy, I still tried to coordinate my time to attend the gatherings.

Three months later, the leader asked whether I’d be willing to take charge of hosting group gatherings and to follow up on brothers’ and sisters’ gospel work. I really wanted to practice doing my duty, but when I thought about how at a previous gathering, when a colleague referred a patient to the clinic, the clinic lost over a thousand yuan because they couldn’t reach me by phone. My colleague scolded me angrily at the time, and said that if this happened again, I’d have to pay for the losses. She even changed the bank cards for the clinic’s transactions to her name. Now, if I accepted this duty, it would take a lot of time, and I’d have even less time at the clinic. I was afraid of impacting the business, so I refused. After a while, the leader approached me again, saying there was an urgent duty, and they couldn’t find the right person for it at that moment, and they asked if I was willing to cooperate. I was very conflicted, because the clinic’s business was busier than ever, and the medical institutions also had to attend training; I was the legal representative, so if I didn’t go, I would have to relearn in order to practice, and this would delay the business for several months and result in huge losses. So I made an excuse to avoid the duty again. That evening, I felt a little upset about my excuse to avoid the duty, so I prayed to God, “God, I want to do my duty, but the clinic is so busy, and I really can’t leave. I feel really upset about refusing my duty, please guide me to understand Your intention.”

Later on, I read God’s words: “Today, what you are required to achieve are not additional demands, but the duty of man, and that which should be done by all people. If you are incapable of even doing your duty, or of doing it well, then are you not bringing trouble upon yourselves? Are you not courting death? How could you still expect to have a future and prospects? The work of God is done for the sake of mankind, and the cooperation of man is given for the sake of God’s management. After God has done all that He is supposed to do, man is required to be unstinting in his practice, and to cooperate with God. In the work of God, man should spare no effort, should offer up his loyalty, and should not indulge in numerous notions, or sit passively and await death. God can sacrifice Himself for man, so why can man not offer his loyalty to God? God is of one heart and mind toward man, so why can man not offer a little cooperation? God works for mankind, so why can man not perform some of his duty for the sake of God’s management? God’s work has come this far, yet still you see but do not act, you hear but do not move. Are not such people the objects of perdition? God has already devoted His all to man, so why, today, is man incapable of earnestly performing his duty? For God, His work is His first priority, and the work of His management is of the utmost importance. For man, putting God’s words into practice and fulfilling God’s requirements are his first priority. This you should all understand” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Work and Man’s Practice). God is wholeheartedly devoted to saving humanity, silently paying a price. He has personally become flesh and has expressed millions of words on this earth, supplying all the truth that humanity needs, allowing people to gain the truth and be saved. But I had been ungrateful, and for the sake of the clinic’s business, I rejected my duty several times to earn more money and live a life of superiority without considering the needs of the church’s work at all. In what way was I someone who believed in God? Every time I thought about all the times I rejected my duty, I felt deeply guilty. I didn’t want to live as I did before, without any conscience. At that moment, I had an idea. I could rent out the clinic, and even though I’d make less money, it would be enough, and I could do my duty with peace of mind. I called my colleague to express my thoughts, but she said, “Are you stupid? This clinic has a bright future; if we continue like this, we’ll be rich in two years, and we’ll have everything we could ever want. We need to live with a bit of realism. In this society, no one respects you without money!” My colleague’s words made me hesitate, thinking, “If I rent out the shares, I won’t make as much money, and I might not even recover my initial capital; what will my relatives and friends think of me?” So, I prayed to God for guidance. I remembered a gathering when brothers and sisters spoke about how to see through Satan’s schemes and stand firm in testimony during difficulties and temptations, and I began looking up God’s words on this topic. God says: “In every step of work that God does on people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human disturbance. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a wager with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men and the disturbance of men. Behind every step of work that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). After reading God’s words, I understood that the people, events and things we encounter every day seem to be interactions between people, but behind this is a spiritual battle, and we need to stand firm in our testimony. Just like when Job faced his trials, though it seemed like he’d lost his children and that robbers took his possessions overnight, in reality, Satan’s temptations were behind this. When Job stood firm in his testimony for God, Satan was put to shame and fled. On the surface, my colleague’s kind advice seemed to be for my own good, but behind this was Satan’s scheming, as Satan was trying to use money to tempt me to continue managing the clinic, causing me to have no time to do my duties, and thus distancing me from God. I couldn’t fall for Satan’s tricks. So I said to my colleague, “Help me sublease the clinic, you take 60%, and I’ll take 40%, and your share will still earn dividends.” My colleague said she would contact one of her classmates to take over, but unexpectedly, the other party lowered the price so much that in the end, he still didn’t rent it. I couldn’t quite understand, why didn’t he rent it at such a low price? Later, I found out that my colleague’s classmate was actually her boyfriend, and that they had colluded to pressure me into subleasing the clinic at a low price. I was very upset, feeling that while I had treated my colleague sincerely, she had deceived me. I felt that the world was truly terrifying, and that there really are no true friends! I felt that believing in God is good, as brothers and sisters are pure and open, eat and drink God’s words, fellowship on the truth, and seek to cast off their corrupt dispositions, so I no longer wanted to manage the clinic with my colleague. But when I thought of all the savings I had invested over the years into opening the clinic, and about how I would be giving up before I’d even earned back my initial capital, I wondered how others would see me. Everyone says that running a clinic is highly profitable, but if I lost all my money from it, what would my friends and family think of me? What would my colleagues think of me? When I thought about all this, I felt a lot of pressure and sadness, and I felt that my only option was to stay in the clinic.

In September 2013, a little boy, about a year and a half old, came to the clinic for an IV drip. On the first day, I did a skin test for the medication, and I asked the parents to confirm that the child had no history of allergies, but unexpectedly, on the third morning, after finishing the IV drip, just as I was about to remove the needle, his eyes rolled back, his body began convulsing, and his face turned bluish purple, then his eyes closed tightly and he couldn’t cry out. I was stunned, and I rushed to treat it as a drug allergy. Two minutes passed, and the child’s face turned a shade of blackish purple, as if he had died. I was terrified, and I was in a state of complete panic, thinking, “It’s over! It’s over! This child is going to die in my hands. What am I going to do if he dies?” The more I thought about it, the more scared I became, and I kept calling out to God in my heart, “God, please watch over this child! God, please save him!” After a few moments, a strong feeling emerged within me, “The fluid this child received contained potassium. Could this be hyperkalemia?” I quickly ran to the treatment room, diluted the calcium injection, and gave the child an intravenous push. I called out to God in my heart as I gave the injection. Halfway through the injection, the child cried out loudly, he coughed up phlegm and saliva from his throat, and his face was no longer the same shade of blackish purple it was before. When I finished giving the calcium injection, the child’s hand was no longer stiff and returned to normal. At that moment, I realized just how fragile life really is. I also knew that God had heard my prayer and saved this child. I kept thanking God in my heart. We then called an ambulance to take the child to the hospital. In the following days, I was filled with worry and fear, asking myself, “What will happen to this child? Will he have serious aftereffects? How much will I have to pay in compensation?” I also feared that if something life-threatening like this happened again, all my money, fame, and gain would be gone. It felt like a gigantic stone was pressing down on my heart and I spent night after night unable to sleep. Unexpectedly, just a few days later, another accident occurred. A middle-aged man came to the clinic for an IV. I did a skin test before administering the medication and confirmed with him that he had no history of allergies. Halfway through the IV, the man suddenly had difficulty breathing and became short of breath. His face turned from pale to a dark bluish color. I was scared and anxious, thinking, “The child’s issue still isn’t resolved yet, and now this patient is having an accident too! Is this it for me?” I felt like my heart was breaking, and I didn’t dare to think any more. I prayed to God for protection, and my heart slowly calmed down. I quickly followed the allergy treatment procedures and was able to save him. During that time, there was a string of incidents at the clinic, and if it weren’t for God’s care and protection, and guidance in enlightening me to think of emergency measures, these two people would have died already, and no matter how much money I made in my lifetime, I’d never be able to afford the compensation! It was then that I realized that money, fame, gain, and material wealth are like a house of cards, and that they can disappear at any time. Only by living before God and doing my duty well could I have true peace and ease.

Later, I remembered a passage of God’s words I had read in a gathering: “If I were to place some money in front of you right now and give you the freedom to choose—and if I did not condemn you for your choice—then most of you would choose the money and forsake the truth. The better among you would give up the money and choose the truth reluctantly, while those in-between would seize the money in one hand and the truth in the other. Would your true colors thus not become self-evident? When choosing between the truth and anything to which you are loyal, you would all make this choice, and your attitude would remain the same. Is that not so? Are there not many among you who have seesawed between right and wrong? In contests between positive and negative, black and white, you are surely aware of the choices that you have made between family and God, children and God, peace and disruption, riches and poverty, status and ordinariness, being supported and being cast aside, and so on. Between a peaceful family and a broken one, you chose the former, and you did so without any hesitation; between riches and duty, you again chose the former, even lacking the will to return to shore; between luxury and poverty, you chose the former; when choosing between your sons, daughters, wives and husbands, and Me, you chose the former; and between notion and truth, you once again chose the former. Faced with all manner of your evil deeds, I have simply lost faith in you. It simply astounds Me that your hearts are so resistant to being softened. Many years of dedication and effort have apparently brought Me nothing more than your abandonment and resignation, but My hopes for you grow with each passing day, for My day has been completely laid bare before everyone. Yet you persist in seeking dark and evil things, and refuse to loosen your grip on them. What, then, will be your outcome? Have you ever given careful consideration to this? If you were asked to choose again, what then would be your position? Would it still be the former? Would you still bring Me disappointment and wretched sorrow? Would your hearts still possess the sole modicum of warmth? Would you still be unaware of what to do to comfort My heart?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Whom Are You Loyal?). I saw God’s urgent intention and painstaking efforts in His words. God hopes that each of us can pursue the truth to achieve salvation. I thought about how ever since I’d opened the clinic, I’d always been thinking about how to earn more money and live a superior life and about how to gain the admiration and envy of others. I also thought about how I rejected my duties several times and was unwilling to spend time and energy on pursuing the truth and doing my duties. I wanted to believe in God and be saved, but I also wanted to earn more money. I was trying to grasp both wealth and the truth, and if I missed the opportunity to gain the truth and be saved, it would be too late to weep and gnash my teeth in regret amidst the catastrophes. I remembered that the Lord Jesus said: “What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). At that moment, I realized how foolish I was, and that I’d been unable to see things clearly. I hadn’t known what was the most important thing to pursue in life. If it weren’t for these two accidents, my numb and intransigent heart wouldn’t have turned around. If it weren’t for God’s mercy and protection, these two people might have died, and even if I’d sacrificed my life, it would have been of no use. I’d probably have to live my life in the misery of being in debt in terms of both life and money, and I’d never find peace. When I thought about how I’d repeatedly refused my duties, I felt that I really didn’t deserve God’s love and salvation. I no longer wanted to give up the opportunity to gain the truth just to pursue money. Later, I called my colleague and told her about transferring the clinic. My colleague saw how determined I was and didn’t say anything more. A while later, because her requirements were too harsh, the clinic wasn’t successfully transferred. I looked to God and entrusted everything to Him, hoping He would open a way for me. Later, a group of doctors working in a town hospital took over the clinic through a lease and signed a two-year contract. After that, I started to do my duties in the church, and I often attended gatherings, ate and drank God’s words, and fellowshipped the truth, and I found peace and ease in my heart.

However, after a year and two months, the other party terminated the contract. My colleague said when she saw me, “If you come back to run the clinic, I guarantee you’ll become rich. If you don’t, I’ll buy your share of the clinic at a low price.” Another colleague said, “The two of us can run it, you can go handle your own matters, it won’t interfere with your faith. Many patients still trust you. I’ll help bring patients over from the hospital, and within a year, we’ll have made loads of money, and by then, we’ll have both wealth and success in our careers. Everyone will envy us!” I thought to myself, “If I take over the clinic, not only will I earn back my investment, but I’ll also have a superior life.” But then I thought, “If I take over, my duties will definitely be affected.” After thinking it over, I decided not to agree. Later, I read God’s words: “Satan uses fame and gain to control man’s thoughts, until all people can think of is fame and gain. They struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and they will make any judgment or decision for the sake of fame and gain. In this way, Satan binds people with invisible shackles, and they have neither the strength nor the courage to throw them off. They unknowingly bear these shackles and trudge ever onward with great difficulty. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind shuns God and betrays Him and becomes increasingly wicked. In this way, therefore, one generation after another is destroyed in the midst of Satan’s fame and gain. Looking now at Satan’s actions, are its sinister motives not utterly detestable? Maybe today you still cannot see through Satan’s sinister motives because you think one cannot live without fame and gain. You think that if people leave fame and gain behind, they will no longer be able to see the way ahead, no longer be able to see their goals, that their futures will become dark, dim and gloomy. But, slowly, you will all one day recognize that fame and gain are massive shackles that Satan uses to bind man. When that day comes, you will thoroughly resist Satan’s control and thoroughly resist the shackles Satan uses to bind you. When the time comes that you wish to throw off all the things Satan has instilled in you, you will then make a clean break with Satan and you will truly loathe all that Satan has brought to you. Only then will mankind have a real love and yearning for God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). “Satan uses money to tempt people, and corrupts them into worshiping money and venerating material things. And how is this worship of money manifested in people? Do you feel that you could not survive in this world without any money, that even one day without money would be impossible? People’s status is based on how much money they have, as is the respect they command. The backs of the poor are bent in shame, while the rich enjoy their high status. They stand tall and proud, speaking loudly and living arrogantly. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Is it not true that many people make any sacrifice in the pursuit of money? Do many people not lose their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? Do many people not lose the opportunity to perform their duty and follow God for the sake of money? Is losing the chance to gain the truth and be saved not the greatest of all losses for people? Is Satan not sinister to use this method and this saying to corrupt man to such a degree? Is this not a malicious trick?” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique V). The exposure of God’s words is very clear. Satan uses fame and gain to control people’s thoughts, and to mislead and corrupt us. Over the years, I had been pursuing both fame and gain, and striving to stand out. I’d been relying on the sayings of “Man struggles upward; water flows downward,” “Money is first,” “Money makes the world go round,” and “Money isn’t everything, but without it, you can do nothing.” These satanic philosophies had come to guide my life, and I thought that with money, I had everything. I’d only ever wanted to make more money, to make myself very wealthy, to gain the admiration and envy of others, and to live a superior life. I thought that no matter how much hardship I suffered for money, fame and gain, it was all worth it, and even though I knew that God has become flesh and expresses the truth to save people, I didn’t properly pursue the truth or do my duties. In my pursuit of money, I repeatedly rejected my duties and grew further from God. The truth was, my family was already well-off, and had no worry for food or clothing, but I wasn’t satisfied, and still wanted to make more money. I valued money, fame, and gains above all else, causing me to lose my chance to do my duties and gain the truth. Only then did I realize that I had been blinded by money, fame, and gain, that I had become a slave to money, and that if I didn’t turn back, I would become a victim of fame and gain.

Then I read more of God’s words: “People exhaust a lifetime of energy fighting against fate, and spend their whole lives bustling about trying to provide for their families and rushing back and forth for the sake of prestige and profit. The things that people treasure are family love, money, and fame and gain, and they view these as the most valuable things in life. All people complain about being ill-fated, yet still they push to the back of their minds the issues that people ought most to understand and explore: why man is alive, how man should live, and what the value and meaning of human life are. They spend their entire lives, however long they may last, merely rushing about seeking fame and gain, until their youth is gone and they have become gray and wrinkled, until they realize that fame and gain cannot stop them from getting old, that money cannot fill the emptiness of their hearts, and until they understand that no one can escape the laws of birth, aging, sickness, and death, and that no one can cast off the arrangements of fate. Only when they have to confront life’s final juncture do they truly grasp that even if one owns vast wealth and extensive assets, even if one is privileged and of high rank, one still cannot escape death and must return to their original position: a solitary soul, with nothing to its name” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). “People spend their lives chasing after money and fame; they clutch at these straws, thinking they are their only means of support, as if by having them they could live on, exempt from death. But only when they are about to die do they realize how distant these things are from them, how weak they are in the face of death, how easily they shatter, how lonely and helpless they are, with nowhere to turn. They realize that life cannot be bought with money or fame, that no matter how wealthy a person may be, no matter how lofty their position, all are equally poor and insignificant in the face of death. They realize that money cannot buy life, that fame cannot erase death, that neither money nor fame can lengthen a person’s life by a single minute, a single second” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). After reading God’s words, I understood that if a person spends their whole life pursuing money, fame, and gain, in the end, it’s all in vain. The two near-death incidents at the clinic made me realize that when danger comes, money and wealth can’t protect a person’s safety or save their life, and that God is the only One a person truly needs and can rely on, and only God rules over and controls a person’s destiny. I also thought of a neighbor of mine. She was a general manager of a department at the Bank of China, her husband was the director of the transportation bureau, and her father was a section chief at the People’s Bank of China. Her family was rich and influential, and at the time, everyone on our street admired and envied her, but at the age of thirty-two, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and passed away not long after. I also had a relative who had been wealthy and renowned, but later on, he died while traveling. It was clear to me that no matter how much money, fame, or admiration you gain, when death comes, money, fame, and gain can’t save your life. Money, fame, and gain can only provide temporary satisfaction and enjoyment for the flesh, and if you don’t have God’s care and protection, you will die. In which case, what meaning would having more money have? I prayed to God, “God, You gave me the chance to pursue the truth and be saved, but I didn’t cherish it. I used all my time and energy to pursue money, fame, and gain. I was truly blind and foolish! Now I know that seeking to gain the truth and doing my duties are the most meaningful and important things I can do.” After that, I called my colleague and said that no matter how much I lost on the shares and of my initial capital of the clinic, I was willing to transfer them. Not long after, I transferred my shares of the clinic. Although I lost tens of thousands, in the moment I did this, I felt liberated and happy.

Later, I devoted more time and energy to my duties, and whenever I had time, I read God’s words and came to understand more truths. I also became more able to see through Satan’s corrupting methods. It felt so good to know that by believing in God and doing my duties, I can understand the truth! Lately, some of my friends said they would pay to cooperate with me in opening a clinic, encouraging me to continue running it, and some even advised me to work in a hospital, but I was no longer influenced by these things. I chose to do the duties of a created being, and to preach the gospel and testify to God. This is more meaningful and valuable than anything else I could do in this world, and this is the wisest choice I have ever made in my life.