By Liu Yi, China

I grew up in a remote mountain village, and because of our family’s poverty, the neighbors looked down on us. My parents often taught me, “A person has to have ambition and live with dignity. Don’t let others look down on you. People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark.” Influenced by these words, I worked hard in school to gain others’ admiration. Every day, I stayed up until 11 or 12 at night studying by the light of a kerosene lamp. After starting work, I worked overtime and pushed myself to earn the approval of my boss and the esteem of my colleagues. I was always selected as a model employee. With these honors, I felt my position and status had been elevated. After finding God, I was also enthusiastic in my pursuit, and after a year, I was elected as a church leader. Later, I was promoted to a preacher and a supervisor of text-based work. Because I’d always served as either a leader or a supervisor after finding God, I thought of myself as someone who pursued the truth. But at the end of August 2022, I was dismissed for pursuing reputation and status, not doing real work, and not getting any results in my duty. During that time of reflection at home, I felt really distressed and tormented. So I resolved to myself, “If given another chance, I will do my duty properly.”

A month later, one evening, the leader said to me, “Several brothers and sisters who make videos need to move due to safety concerns, and they haven’t found a suitable host home. We’d like you to host them.” Hearing the leader say this, I thought to myself, “Why arrange for me to do hosting duty? Do they think I haven’t reflected to know myself after my dismissal, so they want me to render service by doing hosting duty? Isn’t hosting duty insignificant? What will the brothers and sisters think of me if they find out? Will they say I’m doing hosting duty because I don’t pursue the truth? Hosting duty involves dealing with pots and pans every day, and hard, tiring work. Even if I do it well, the brothers and sisters won’t see it. Besides, those who do hosting duty in the church are mostly brothers and sisters of poor caliber or an older age. Although I’m not that young, I haven’t reached the point of only being able to do hosting duty! Besides, I’ve always been a leader and supervisor since finding God; why are they arranging for me to do hosting duty now?” I couldn’t submit in my heart, so I made up some excuses to refuse. After the leader left, I felt conflicted and remorseful. I thought of how, despite believing in God for many years, I still had no submission in my duty. In what way was I a believer? In what way did I have any conscience or reason? I knelt down and prayed to God, “God! Today, the leader tried to arrange for me to do hosting duty, but I couldn’t submit and even looked for excuses to refuse. I don’t know what aspect of my corrupt disposition caused this. I ask for Your enlightenment and guidance to help me know myself.” After praying, I thought of God’s words about performing duties, so I looked them up to read. Almighty God says: “Duties come from God; they are the responsibilities and commissions that God entrusts to man. How, then, should man understand them? ‘Since this is my duty and the commission that God has entrusted to me, it is my obligation and responsibility. It is only right that I accept it as my bounden duty. I can’t decline or refuse it; I can’t pick and choose. What falls to me is certainly what I ought to do. It’s not that I’m not entitled to make a choice—it’s that I shouldn’t make a choice. This is the reason that a created being ought to have.’ This is an attitude of submission” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “Whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). From God’s words, I understood that duties are God’s commission to people, and that they are their responsibility, and we shouldn’t categorize duties into ranks. Moreover, we shouldn’t pick duties based on our preferences for the sake of our pride and status, and instead, we should accept and submit, and view them as an obligation we cannot shirk. This is what it means to be a person with conscience and reason, and it is the attitude a person should have toward their duties. Upon reading the exposure of God’s words, I realized that my attitude and perspective toward my duties were incorrect. I’d categorized duties into ranks, believing that being a leader or worker meant a person pursued the truth, and that it gave them status and position, and that everywhere they went, brothers and sisters looked up to them. Doing such duties seemed more glorious, while it seemed to me that doing hosting duty only required hard work, and didn’t provide me with any chance to make a name for myself or gain any status or position, and that those who did this duty would never be admired by others. Due to this fallacious viewpoint, when the leader arranged for me to do hosting duty, I looked for excuses to refuse. I always considered my pride rather than the needs of the church’s work. How did I have any humanity at all? I shouldn’t have my own choices and demands regarding my duties. The leader arranged for me to do hosting duty based on the needs of the church’s work, and I should have started by accepting and obeying this arrangement.

Later on, I read God’s fellowship regarding Noah building the ark, and I saw that Noah didn’t make any excuses when faced with God’s commission, and that he unconditionally accepted and submitted. He built the ark while preaching the gospel, persisting constantly for 120 years. Although I couldn’t compare to Noah, I should follow Noah’s example and be a submissive person. After this, I told the leader that I was willing to do hosting duty, but shortly after, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this hosting duty was temporarily postponed. During the first gathering after the lockdown was lifted, the leader said, “Now that the lockdown has been lifted, we’d like to arrange for you to resume your hosting duty.” I felt really embarrassed at that moment because besides the two deacons present, there were also two sisters who were gospel workers. I began to harbor complaints toward the leader, thinking, “Why did you have to say this in front of so many brothers and sisters? Now everyone knows that I’m doing hosting duty, how am I ever going to show my face again?” I felt my face burning, and I thought that my brothers and sisters seemed to be mocking me for not pursuing the truth and for being assigned to hosting duty because of this. Later in the gathering, the brothers and sisters actively fellowshipped how to preach the gospel and resolve religious notions, but none of it sank in, as I just kept thinking about how some of them were leaders and workers and others were gospel workers while I was just doing hosting duty. The more I thought about it, the more upset I felt. During that gathering, it felt like time passed really slowly, and the words “doing hosting duty” kept echoing through my mind. After the gathering, my mind was flooded with thoughts of what the brothers and sisters would think of me, and I believed that since everyone knew I was doing hosting duty, I had completely lost face and status. For the next few days, I felt unmotivated to do anything, and I walked with my head hung low wherever I went. I was really scared of encountering my brothers and sisters, as I was afraid they would know I was doing hosting duty.

Over the following days, I pondered, “The leader arranging for me to do hosting duty was clearly due to the needs of the church’s work, but why am I afraid of others knowing this? Why am I unwilling to submit to being assigned this hosting duty? What kind of corrupt disposition is causing this?” Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of normal people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and their lifelong goal. In all they do, their first consideration is: ‘What will happen to my status? And to my reputation? Will doing this give me a good reputation? Will it elevate my status in people’s minds?’ That is the first thing they think about, which is ample proof that they have the disposition and essence of antichrists; that is why they consider things this way. It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. And so for antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence. You could put them in a primeval forest deep in the mountains, and still they would not put aside their pursuit of reputation and status. You can put them among any group of people, and all they can think about is still reputation and status. Although antichrists also believe in God, they see the pursuit of reputation and status as equivalent to faith in God and give it equal weight. Which is to say, as they walk the path of faith in God, they also pursue their own reputation and status. It can be said that in antichrists’ hearts, they believe that pursuit of the truth in their faith in God is the pursuit of reputation and status; the pursuit of reputation and status is also the pursuit of the truth, and to gain reputation and status is to gain the truth and life. If they feel that they have no reputation, gains, or status, that no one admires them, or esteems them, or follows them, then they are very disappointed, they believe there is no point in believing in God, no value to it, and they say to themselves, ‘Is such faith in god a failure? Is it hopeless?’ They often deliberate such things in their hearts, they deliberate how they can carve a place out for themselves in the house of God, how they can have a lofty reputation in the church, so that people listen when they talk, and support them when they act, and follow them wherever they go; so that they have the final say in the church, and fame, gain, and status—they really focus on such things in their hearts. These are what such people pursue. Why are they always thinking about such things? After reading the words of God, after hearing sermons, do they really not understand all this, are they really not able to discern all this? Are the words of God and the truth really not able to change their notions, ideas, and opinions? That is not the case at all. The problem lies in them, it is wholly because they do not love the truth, because, in their hearts, they are averse to the truth, and as a result, they are utterly unreceptive to the truth—which is determined by their nature essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). Pondering on God’s words, I understood that antichrists really cherish reputation and status. No matter what they do in any group of people, it’s all to gain people’s admiration and worship. Reputation and status are the goals they pursue throughout their lives. Reflecting on my own pursuit, I realized that my views were the same as those of an antichrist. I also placed reputation and status above everything else. Since childhood, my parents had taught me that a person must have ambition and dignity, and not let others look down on them, and that “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” and “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” These satanic poisons had become deeply rooted in my heart, and I believed that being able to be looked up to by others in any group setting is what brought glory. When I was in school, I aimed to score first in exams so I could gain admiration and praise from teachers and classmates. I often stayed up late doing homework, and after each exam, I felt proud to receive my achievement certificates. After starting work, to gain recognition from my superiors and praise from my colleagues, I’d work overtime, even using my days off to work. I was really eager to work hard. After finding God, I continued to live by these poisons, and regardless of the duty I was doing, my first consideration was whether I could gain reputation and status, and whether I would be able to gain others’ esteem. I felt that being a leader in the church would make others look up to me and grant me position and status, and that wherever I went, I’d be admired. So I agreed to this duty gladly, and I was willing to suffer and pay a price to actively cooperate. When I was assigned to do hosting duty, I knew full well that the CCP was rampantly arresting Christians, and the situation was dire, and that the brothers and sisters urgently needed a safe place to do their duties. But I only considered my pride and status, and thought that doing hosting duty was inconspicuous and would make others look down on me, so I looked for excuses to refuse it. I was tightly bound by reputation and status, and in everything I did, I’d always think about what the brothers and sisters would think of me, and I’d place reputation and status above all else. I was truly selfish and despicable, and unworthy of being called human! I thought back on my period of dismissal and reflection. At that time, I hoped every day to do my duty. But now that God had given me the opportunity to do a duty, I was being picky and always living for the sake of my pride, utterly failing to view my duty as a commission from God. Since the leader had arranged for me to do hosting duty, I had to accept it from God and do this duty well and with seriousness so that the brothers and sisters could have a safe environment in which to do their duties. I prayed to God in repentance, “God, this duty has come upon me by Your orchestrations and arrangements, yet I am constrained by my pride, and find myself being picky and unwilling to submit. I am truly lacking in conscience! God, I am willing to submit and do this duty well to satisfy You.”

Through reflection, I realized that my unwillingness to do hosting duty stemmed from another fallacious view, namely that I thought of hosting duty as inconspicuous, and that they were done by older brothers and sisters with poor caliber, and that those doing leadership duties had people looking up to them wherever they went and were people who pursued the truth, and these duties showed that a person had position and status. I read another passage of God’s words: “Everyone is equal before the truth. Those who are promoted and cultivated are not very much better than others. Everyone has experienced God’s work for around the same time. Those who have not been promoted or cultivated should also pursue the truth while doing their duties. No one may deprive others of the right to pursue the truth. Some people are more eager in their pursuit of the truth and have some caliber, so they are promoted and cultivated. This is due to the needs of the work of God’s house. So why does God’s house have such principles for promoting and using people? Because there are differences in people’s caliber and character, and each person chooses a different path, this leads to different outcomes in people’s faith in God. Those who pursue the truth are saved and become people of the kingdom, while those who do not accept the truth at all, who are not loyal in doing their duty, are eliminated. God’s house cultivates and uses people based on whether they pursue the truth, and on whether they are loyal in doing their duty. Is there a distinction in the hierarchy of various people in God’s house? For the time being, there is no hierarchy in terms of various people’s positions, worth, status, or standing. At least during the period when God works to save and guide people, there is no difference between various people’s ranks, positions, worth, or status. The only things that are different are in the division of work and in the duty roles performed. Of course, during this period, some people, on exception, are promoted and cultivated to do some special jobs, while some people do not receive such opportunities due to various reasons such as problems with their caliber or family environment. But does God not save those who have not received such opportunities? This is not the case. Is their worth and position lower than others’? No. Everyone is equal before the truth, everyone has the opportunity to pursue and gain the truth, and God treats everyone fairly and reasonably. At what point are there noticeable distinctions in people’s positions, worth, and status? It is when people come to the end of their path, and God’s work is over, and a conclusion is finally formed on the attitudes and views that each person displayed in the process of pursuing salvation and while doing their duty, as well as on their various manifestations and attitudes toward God—that is, when there is a complete record in God’s notebook—at that time, because people’s outcomes and destinations will be different, there will also be distinctions in their worth, positions, and status. Only then can all these things be glimpsed and approximately ascertained, whereas now everyone is the same” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). God’s words tell us that before the truth and God’s words, everyone is equal, and that there is fundamentally no distinction in positions being considered high or low. In God’s house, people are assigned to do different duties based on their caliber, strengths, or the needs of the church, and the only difference between individuals is the duty they do. However, regardless of the duty performed, everyone’s position and status are the same. Being a leader or worker doesn’t mean a person has higher position than others, and a person doing hosting duty isn’t any lower in position or status than those doing other duties. But I had believed that being a leader or worker was a mark of those who pursued the truth, and that wherever they went, they were looked up to, while doing hosting duty was just hard work, and therefore lower in position and status. My views were truly erroneous! I recalled an elderly sister in the church who had been doing hosting duty ever since she found God, yet her intentions were correct, she was loyal in her duty, and had the guidance of God. Meanwhile, some had been leaders and workers for many years, but because they didn’t pursue the truth, they only sought reputation and status, and engaged in personal agendas, even going so far as to disrupt and disturb the church’s work and attack and exclude others for personal gain. Ultimately, they were characterized as evil people or antichrists and expelled from the church, and consequently, they lost their chance at salvation. From these facts, I saw that everyone is equal before the truth. Whether one can be saved is unrelated to what duties they do, their age, or their status. The key is whether a person pursues the truth and whether they are loyal in their duties. God is righteous, and He looks at whether people have the truth and whether their disposition has changed. This is the standard by which God measures people.

A few months later, the leader asked me to host the brothers and sisters who were doing text-based duties. In my heart, I began to think to myself, “I used to be the supervisor of the text-based work, and these people were my team members, but now I’m just hosting them. What will they think of me?” When I thought this way, I realized I was thinking about my pride and status again. So I silently prayed to God, and recalled a passage of His words: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well. If you are of poor caliber, if your experience is shallow, or if you are not proficient in your professional work, then there may be some mistakes or deficiencies in your work, and you may not get good results—but you will have done your best. You do not satisfy your own selfish desires or preferences. Instead, you give constant consideration to the work of the church and the interests of the house of God. Though you may not achieve good results in your duty, your heart will have been set straight; if, on top of this, you can seek the truth to solve the problems in your duty, you will be up to standard in the performance of your duty, and, at the same time, you will be able to enter into the truth reality. This is what it means to possess testimony” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). From God’s words, I came to understand His intentions and also learned of a path of practice. In the past, I had always lived for pride and status, but on this day I should accept and submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, consider the interests of the church and do my duty well. So I readily agreed. A few days later, the brothers and sisters doing text-based duties came to my house for a gathering. When I saw them, I didn’t feel that my pride was hurt, but rather felt that to do any duty is an exaltation from God. Moving forward, I cooperated diligently, and thought about how to maintain a good environment so that the brothers and sisters could gather and do their duties in a safe and peaceful space. By practicing this way, I felt at peace and at ease in my heart, and I realized that hosting duty also provided lessons to learn and truths to seek.