By Liang Zhi, China

Dear Xiujuan:

I received your letter. From your letter, I saw that you’ve been cooperating with younger brothers and sisters on your duty lately, and you’re feeling that you can’t keep up in terms of your energy and stamina, so you’ve been feeling somewhat down. You’re worried that as you age, the duties you’ll be able to do will decrease, and that your hope of being saved and entering the kingdom of heaven will fade away. I’ve had these same concerns lately as well, so today, I’m writing to share some of my experiences with you.

Last August, Brother Yang Xun and I were both doing our duties in computer technology. In my spare time, I even wrote gospel sermons and articles about my life experiences. I was really happy and enjoyed this duty a lot. Brother Yang Xun was young, full of youthful energy and vitality, and his mind was quick and nimble, and he was a great help to me in learning technical skills. Although my mental caliber and energy couldn’t match that of a younger person, after some time, I’d come to learn a lot of technical knowledge from following Yang Xun. I was very happy and I resolved to myself that I’d make the most of this opportunity to do my duty. Moving forward, Yang Xun and I continued studying technical skills together, and in my spare time, I practiced writing sermons and gained more understanding of the truths regarding preaching the gospel. I felt very fulfilled by doing my duty in this way, and I thought that balancing these two duties increased my hope of being saved and entering God’s kingdom. But after some time, I noticed that the gap between myself and Yang Xun was growing wider. Yang Xun was young and had good understanding, and he was quick to react and a fast learner. When brothers and sisters faced technical problems, he was able to quickly respond and solve them using the knowledge he had learned. But as for me, though I could handle basic issues, with more difficult problems, my reactions were sluggish and I was forgetful, and things would slip right out of my head not long after I learned them. I had to constantly look back at reference materials and tutorials, and some processes required repeated practice for me to get the hang of. When I couldn’t figure something out, Yang Xun would handle it, and I was just able to do some supporting tasks. When we both started writing sermons, Yang Xun would submit his days before I finished mine. I just couldn’t keep up with his pace, and the gap was very clear. I thought to myself, “If only I could turn back the clock by 20 years, then I’d be able to absorb new things as fast as Yang Xun and I’d be competent in this duty. How wonderful would that be!” But as I grew older, my energy, stamina, eyesight, memory, and reaction speed just couldn’t keep up anymore. Plus, I needed medication to keep my high blood pressure and blood sugar under control. Staring at the computer screen for too long during the day made my vision blurry, and at night, though I’d want to settle down and write some sermons, I’d not be able to sit for long before feeling fatigued, sleepy, and swollen in my calves, and after barely holding on for a bit, I would start to nod off. Yang Xun would urge me to rest, but I’d feel reluctant, as I didn’t want my age or these minor health issues to get in the way of my duty. If I couldn’t do this duty anymore then I felt that the duties I’d be able to do would only decrease further, and it’d become uncertain whether I could be saved and enter God’s kingdom. Yang Xun was only in his thirties, full of youth and energy, while I was already over sixty, and my health, memory, and reaction time were nowhere near those of younger people, so I’d feel increasingly dissatisfied with myself. I’d think about how great it is to be young, because young people still have so many opportunities to do their duties and a bright future ahead of them. I felt that while their path kept getting broader, mine just kept getting narrower and narrower. I was living in anxiety and sorrow, I no longer had the energy to write articles or sermons, and I began to approach my duty with a “just get through one day at a time” attitude. Xiujuan, don’t you think my state was just terrible?

One day, I read some of God’s words: “There are also elderly people among brothers and sisters, who are aged from 60 up to around 80 or 90 and who, because of their advanced age, also experience some difficulties. Despite their age, their thinking is not necessarily so correct or rational, and their ideas and views do not necessarily accord with the truth. These elderly people have problems just the same, and they’re always worrying, ‘My health isn’t so good anymore and I’m limited as to what duty I can perform. If I just perform this little duty, will God remember me? Sometimes I get sick, and I need someone to look after me. When there’s no one to look after me, I’m not able to perform my duty, so what can I do? I’m old and I don’t remember God’s words when I read them and it’s hard for me to understand the truth. When fellowshipping on the truth, I speak in a muddled and illogical way, and I haven’t any experiences worth sharing. I’m old and I don’t have enough energy, my eyesight isn’t very good and I’m not strong anymore. Everything is difficult for me. Not only can I not perform my duty, but I easily forget things and get things wrong. Sometimes I get confused and I cause problems for the church and for my brothers and sisters. I want to attain salvation and pursue the truth but it’s very hard. What can I do?’ … In particular, there are some elderly people who want to spend all their time expending themselves for God and performing their duty, but they’re physically unwell. Some have high blood pressure, some have high blood sugar, some have gastrointestinal problems, and their physical strength cannot keep up with the demands of their duty, and so they fret. They see young people able to eat and drink, to run and jump, and they feel envious. The more they see young people do such things, the more distressed they feel, thinking, ‘I want to do my duty well and pursue and understand the truth, and I want to practice the truth, too, so why is it so hard? I’m so old and useless! Does God not want old people? Are old people really useless? Can we not attain salvation?’ They’re sad and unable to feel happy no matter how they think about it. They don’t want to miss such a wonderful time and such a great opportunity, yet they’re unable to expend themselves and perform their duty with all their heart and soul like young people do. These elderly people fall into deep distress, anxiety, and worry because of their age. Every time they encounter some difficulty, setback, hardship, or obstacle, they blame their age, and even hate themselves and have no liking for themselves. But in any case, it is to no avail, there is no solution, and they have no way forward. Could it be that they really have no way forward? Is there any solution? (Elderly people should also perform their duties as much as they’re able.) It’s acceptable for elderly people to perform their duties as much as they’re able, right? Can elderly people not pursue the truth anymore because of their age? Are they not capable of understanding the truth? (Yes, they are.) Can elderly people understand the truth? They can understand some, and not even young people can understand it all, either. Elderly people always have a misconception, believing that they’re confused, that their memory is bad, and so they can’t understand the truth. Are they right? (No.) Although young people have much more energy than elderly people, and are physically stronger, actually their capacity to understand, comprehend, and know is just the same as that of elderly people. Weren’t elderly people once young as well? They weren’t born old, and young people will all grow old one day, too. Elderly people mustn’t always be thinking that because they’re old, physically weak, unwell, and with bad memories, they’re different from young people. In fact, there is no difference. What do I mean when I say there is no difference? Whether someone is old or young, their corrupt dispositions are the same, their attitudes and views on all manner of things are the same, and their perspectives and standpoints on all manner of things are the same. So, elderly people mustn’t think that because they’re old, with fewer extravagant desires than young people, and able to be stable, they have no wild ambitions or desires, and that they have fewer corrupt dispositions—this is a misconception. Young people can jockey for position, so can’t elderly people jockey for position? Young people can do things against the principles and act arbitrarily, so can’t elderly people do the same? (Yes, they can.) Young people can be arrogant, so can’t elderly people also be arrogant? However, when elderly people are arrogant, due to their advanced age they aren’t so aggressive, and it’s not such a high-minded arrogance. Young people show more obvious manifestations of arrogance due to their flexible limbs and minds, while older people show less obvious manifestations of arrogance due to their rigid limbs and inflexible minds. However, their essence of arrogance and their corrupt dispositions are the same. No matter how long an elderly person has believed in God, or how many years they have performed their duty, if they are not in pursuit of the truth, then their corrupt dispositions will remain. … So, it is not that elderly people have nothing to do, nor are they unable to perform their duties, much less are they unable to pursue the truth—there are many things for them to do. The various heresies and fallacies that you have accumulated during your lifetime, as well as the various traditional ideas and notions, ignorant and stubborn things, conservative things, irrational things, and distorted things that you have accumulated have all piled up in your heart, and you should spend even more time than young people to dig out, dissect, and recognize these things. It’s not the case that you have nothing to do, or that you should feel distressed, anxious, and worried when you are at a loose end—this is neither your task nor your responsibility. First of all, elderly people should have the correct mindset. Although you may be getting on in years and you are relatively aged physically, still you should have a young mindset. Although you’re getting old, your thinking is slowed and your memory is poor, if you can still know yourself, still understand the words I say, and still understand the truth, then that proves you are not old and that your caliber is not lacking. If someone is in their 70s but is not able to understand the truth, then this shows that their stature is too small and not up to the task. Therefore, age is irrelevant when it comes to the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). God’s fellowship addresses exactly the state we elderly people face. As we age, our bodies deteriorate, and doing our duties may present some challenges. We often feel powerless and envy the young. Just like me, when I saw that Yang Xun was young, had a good memory and a healthy body, I thought he was able to do more duties so he had a greater hope of salvation. Meanwhile, I felt that as I was getting older, with poor health and declining memory, I could only do supporting tasks, and I worried that if I couldn’t do this duty well, there wouldn’t be many other duties I could do, and I was afraid of losing the hope of being saved. This made me feel despondent. But after reading God’s words, I understood that God doesn’t save people based on their age or how many duties they do, but rather based on whether they pursue the truth. Elderly people might experience physical decline or sickness, but that doesn’t stop them from pursuing the truth. Though I’ve grown old, I’ve accumulated many satanic philosophies for worldly dealings along with various traditional ideas and notions, and my satanic corrupt dispositions are no less than those of younger people. Take last spring when I was preaching the gospel for example. I had some experience of preaching the gospel after believing in God for many years, so I used my experience to show off in front of the brothers and sisters, speaking boastfully to flaunt myself and gain their admiration. I realized that I still had a lot of corrupt dispositions to resolve and many truths to enter into, and that I needed to solve them by eating and drinking God’s words and practicing the truth. At the same time, I needed to do my duty as best as I could. These were things I could do instead of living in a state of despondency and giving up on the pursuit of truth. When I thought about it, I felt that the duty the leader had arranged for me was quite suitable. When Yang Xun was busy with his duties, I assisted with some supporting tasks, and when he wasn’t busy, I’d write articles and sermons. I’d also usually pay attention to the corrupt dispositions I revealed in my duties and seek truth to resolve them. By practicing this way, I still had a chance to be saved. God has never said that elderly people can’t pursue or understand the truth, and God’s demands on people aren’t high: So long as we do our duties within our abilities and don’t give up on pursuing truth, then no matter our age, we all have a chance to be saved. This realization brightened my heart, and I didn’t feel as anxious anymore.

One day, I read more of God’s words: “Performing one’s duty is the vocation of every single person, performing one’s duty comes with its own principles, everyone should perform their duty in accordance with the truth principles, and this is what created beings are supposed to do. Is there any mention of remuneration here? Any mention of reward? (No.) There is no mention of remuneration or reward—it is an obligation. What does ‘obligation’ mean? An obligation is something people are supposed to do, something for which being rewarded according to one’s labor doesn’t apply. God never stipulated that someone who performs their duty a lot should receive a great reward, and that someone who performs their duty little or performs it in a way that’s no good should receive little reward—God never said such a thing. So, what do God’s words say? God says that performing one’s duty is the vocation of every single person and that it is something created beings are supposed to do—this is the truth” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Four: They Exalt and Testify About Themselves). “I decide the destination of each person not on the basis of age, seniority, amount of suffering, and least of all, the degree to which they invite pity, but according to whether they possess the truth. There is no other choice but this” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). From God’s words, I understood that duties are the obligation and vocation of every created being, and that there’s no such thing as the more duties you do, the greater the reward, or the fewer you do, the smaller the blessings from God. These thoughts were nothing but my notions and imaginings. God determining a person’s outcome and destination depends on whether they possess the truth. Regardless of whether a person is old or young, as long as they seek the truth and follow the path of pursuing the truth, they are people God intends to save, and God doesn’t treat any single person unfairly. This is determined by God’s righteous disposition. I wasn’t viewing things based on the truth principles, and instead, I judged whether someone could be saved based on the size of their contribution. This showed a lack of understanding of God’s righteous disposition and was blasphemy against God! I thought about how Paul spread the gospel across most of Europe and established many churches. It seemed like he made great contributions, but he didn’t pursue the truth. He treated his work and expenditure as bargaining chips and demanded a crown from God. He often exalted and testified to himself, and never testified to God. He even claimed that to him to live was christ, which seriously offended God’s disposition. In the end, he wasn’t saved and was instead punished in hell. The size of a person’s contribution in their duty can’t determine if they will be saved. A person’s salvation depends on whether they pursue the truth and do their duties with all their heart and mind. Xiujuan, when we don’t understand the truth, we tend to view issues by relying on our notions and imaginings. This makes us liable to misunderstand God’s intentions!

After this I began reflecting, asking myself, “What is behind my worries and distress, what is driving them?” In my seeking, I read a passage of God’s words: “Before deciding to do their duty, deep in their hearts, antichrists are brimming with expectations toward their prospects, gaining blessings, a good destination, and even a crown, and they have the utmost confidence in attaining these things. They come to the house of God to do their duty with such intentions and aspirations. So, does their performance of duty contain the sincerity, genuine faith and loyalty that God requires? At this point, one cannot yet see their genuine loyalty, faith, or sincerity, because everyone harbors an entirely transactional mindset before they do their duty; everyone makes the decision to do their duty driven by interests, and also based on the precondition of their overflowing ambitions and desires. What is the antichrists’ intention in doing their duty? It’s to make a deal, to make an exchange. It could be said that these are the conditions they set for doing duty: ‘If I do my duty, then I must obtain blessings and have a good destination. I must obtain all the blessings and benefits that god has said are prepared for humankind. If I can’t obtain them, then I won’t do this duty.’ They come to the house of God to do their duty with such intentions, ambitions, and desires. It seems like they do have some sincerity, and of course for those who are new believers and are just starting to do their duty, it can also be called enthusiasm. But there is no genuine faith or loyalty in this; there’s only that degree of enthusiasm. It can’t be called sincerity. Judging from this attitude antichrists have toward doing their duty, it is wholly transactional and filled with their desires for benefits like gaining blessings, entering the kingdom of heaven, obtaining a crown, and receiving rewards. So, it appears from the outside that many antichrists, before being expelled, are doing their duty and have even forsaken more and suffered more than the average person. What they expend and the price they pay are on par with Paul, and they do no less running about than Paul either. This is something everyone can see. In terms of their behavior and their will to suffer and pay the price, they ought not to receive nothing. However, God does not regard a person based on their outward behavior, but based on their essence, their disposition, what they reveal, and the nature and essence of every single thing that they do” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). From God’s words, I saw that when antichrists do their duties in the church, no matter how much they seem to forsake, expend themselves, or suffer and pay a price, they are doing all these things to gain blessings, and they are using their duty as a means to bargain with God. In light of God’s words, I realized that my own view on pursuit was just like that of an antichrist. Ever since I found God, it had seemed like I was able to obey the church’s arrangements and do my duties, but this was all with the intention of receiving blessings. For the sake of blessings, I willingly rented two apartments to do hosting duties. In exchange for the blessings of the kingdom of heaven, I was even willing to quit a high-paying job to actively do my duties. For the sake of a good destination, I didn’t let my illness stop me from doing my duties, as I thought that the more duties I did, the more blessings I would receive from God. But as I grew older, when I saw that my efficiency and effectiveness in my duties couldn’t keep up with those of younger people, I started worrying that I would be dismissed or reassigned, and then the duties I’d be able to do would decrease even more and my hope of receiving blessings and entering God’s kingdom would become remote. I lived in a state of worry, anxiety, and distress, doing my duties with a “just get through one day at a time” attitude. Duties are the responsibility of a created being, and they are justified and natural, but I treated my duty as proof by which to earn blessings, and so long as I could receive blessings, I was willing to forsake, expend, endure, and pay a price, no matter how much was needed, but if there was no hope of receiving blessings, then I had no motivation to do my duties. In what way did I have any conscience? Looking back, I saw that I’d enjoyed so much of God’s shepherding and watering through His words ever since I started believing in Him, and that I shouldn’t make any demands of God. God has given me life and allowed me to come to God’s house and do my duty, and this is already God’s grace. Even if there is no good destination for me, I should have no complaints, and I should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. The more I thought about it, the more I felt indebted to God, and I prayed to Him, willing to let go of my desire for blessings and to emerge from these wrong views on pursuit.

During my devotionals, I read more of God’s words: “Older brothers and sisters also have their functions to perform, and they are not abandoned by God. Older brothers and sisters, too, have both desirable and undesirable aspects. They have more philosophies for worldly dealings and more religious notions. In their actions, they adhere to many rigid conventions, being fond of regulations which they apply mechanically and without flexibility. This is an undesirable aspect. However, these older brothers and sisters remain calm and steadfast no matter what comes up; their dispositions are stable, and they do not have tempestuous moods. They may be slower at understanding things, yet this is not a major fault. As long as you can submit; as long as you can accept the current words of God and not scrutinize God’s words; as long as you are concerned only with submission and following, and do not ever pass judgment on the words of God or harbor other ill thoughts about them; as long as you accept His words and put them into practice—then, having met these conditions, you can be perfected” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. On Everyone Performing Their Function). “Whether you are a younger or an older brother or sister, you know the function you ought to perform. Those in their youth are not arrogant; those who are older are not negative, nor do they regress. Moreover, they are able to use each other’s strengths to make up for their weaknesses, and they can serve one another without any prejudice. A bridge of friendship is built between younger and older brothers and sisters, and because of God’s love, you are able to better understand one another. Younger brothers and sisters do not look down on older brothers and sisters, and the older brothers and sisters are not self-righteous: Is this not harmonious cooperation? If you all have such resolve, then the will of God will certainly be fulfilled in your generation” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. On Everyone Performing Their Function). God’s words inspired me and gave me great faith. Although we elders have slightly poorer health, so long as we listen to God’s words, submit to Him, and focus on practicing His words, we all have the opportunity to be saved. Elderly people don’t need to compare themselves with the young, and they should view their strengths and weaknesses correctly. Young people are quick-witted and fast learners, and though young people have their strengths, they can also tend to lack thorough consideration. Elderly people tend to be calm and steady in their work, and cooperating together in this way allows us to complement one another in our duties. When I encounter technical problems, I ask Yang Xun for help, and when Yang Xun faces difficult questions, he discusses them with me, allowing us to quickly reach a consensus. If neither of us understands, we seek guidance from our leader, and eventually, we end up finding a path of practice. Additionally, for both Yang Xun and me, regardless of who notices the other’s revelations of corruption or actions that don’t align with truth principles, we are able to point these things out to each other without feeling constrained by pride, and through open fellowship, we both benefit from each other. Now I no longer worry about not being able to do my duties due to my age and I focus on how to do my duties well to repay God’s love. Thanks be to Almighty God!

Xiujuan, I hope that this experience of mine will help you. In my actual experience, I see that God isn’t partial toward the elderly, and if it weren’t for God’s arrangement of such a situation to reveal me, I wouldn’t have realized so many of my views didn’t align with the truth. This revelation has allowed me to make gains. If you have any new light or enlightenment, please write to me to share. I look forward to your reply!

Liang Zhi

November 18, 2023