93. The Awakening of a Slave to Money
When I was young, my family lived in a remote mountainous area. My parents made a living by farming, and life was quite tough. I heard from people who returned from working elsewhere that there were lots of opportunities to earn money in the city, and that life was much better there. So I yearned for life in the big city, and I hoped to leave the mountains and move to the big city one day so that I could earn money and improve my family’s living conditions, and make the people in our village envious. I studied hard, and my grades were always good, but when I reached the first year of middle school, my family couldn’t afford to keep me in school, so I had to drop out. But my desire to leave the mountains hadn’t changed, and I still hoped to earn a lot of money in the city to get a better life and make everyone envious of me.
In 2007, someone introduced me to a potential partner who was from the city. I thought that marrying him would lead to a better life, but after marrying him, I found that his family was the poorest in the area. My husband and in-laws had no education and could only rely on hard labor to make a living. Their self-built house didn’t even have a proper roof. The walls and floors were made of cement, and whenever it rained heavily, water would drip into the house. What made me the saddest was that some of our neighbors ignored us because of our poor living conditions, which made me regret the foolish choice I’d made. But when I thought about the fact that I had married into a big city, where there were more opportunities to earn money than in the countryside, I believed that as long as my husband and I worked hard, our lives would surely keep getting better, and that once we earned money, our neighbors would envy us.
A year later, my husband found a heavy labor job in a hardware factory, and shortly after giving birth to our son, I found a job making handmade weavings. To earn more money, I often worked until two or three in the morning, and over time, I became fatigued. Sometimes my arms were so sore that I couldn’t even lift them, and both my wrists were swollen. But when I thought about how just one more task could earn me a few more cents, I felt that these hardships were worth it. Especially when I used the money I’d earned through my hard work to buy food and necessities to improve our lives, I’d feel that these hardships were worthwhile. So I became even more convinced that as long as my husband and I could just endure hardships, our lives would surely be no worse than anyone else’s.
One day, my husband’s aunt came to preach the gospel to me, saying, “The Savior has come, and He is Almighty God, who is performing the work of saving people in the last days. Only by accepting God’s salvation and breaking free from sin can people be protected by God and survive the great catastrophe. …” I believed in God in my heart, but then I thought, “I’m still living in a leaking house, my child is so young, and we need money for all kinds of things. If I believe in God, it’ll delay my earning money. I can’t let that happen. Earning money is the most important thing for me right now, and as for believing in God, I’ll just have to put that off until my living conditions have improved.” So, I refused.
At that time, my child had just started to walk, and I heard people say that the workload at the food factory was heavy, but that the salary was three to four times higher than what I was making at that point. I was somewhat tempted, thinking, “So long as I’m not afraid of hardship or tiredness, I’ll be able to earn more money at the food factory. Won’t that lead to a better life?” So I entrusted my child to my mother-in-law and went to work at the food factory. During that time, my husband occasionally said his back hurt badly, but I didn’t take it seriously at all, thinking to myself, “How can you earn more money without working hard? Don’t I often work overtime until two or three in the morning? Only by persevering will we be able to earn more money.” So my husband and I gritted our teeth and persevered to earn more money together. Not long after, I found another job at a hardware factory working the grinders. As I polished the tools every day, I had to put my hands into the water with various chemicals added to prevent metal from rusting. Since I couldn’t wear gloves for many of the tools, I’d spend a whole day with my hands soaking in this water. One of my colleagues developed kidney failure because of this job, yet I still worked in this job for eight or nine years. My husband and I worked hard and earned some money, and the food and clothing we were able to afford improved a lot compared to before, and we even saved up for a down payment on a house. Our neighbors, who used to ignore us because we were poor, started getting closer to us, greeting us with smiles as they came and went, and they even spoke about us enviously, saying that we, as a couple, were hardworking and living better thanks to our efforts. I felt somewhat proud to hear that, and I felt that my years of hard work were finally paying off, and I couldn’t have been happier. But one morning, as my husband and I were getting ready for work, he suddenly cried out in pain from the bed, and frantically asked me to take him to the hospital. The doctor examined him and said he had multiple segmental disc protrusions in his lumbar spine. The doctor recommended surgery, or else he would be at risk of paralysis. He said that the surgery would cost over a hundred thousand yuan. I was stunned, “Over a hundred thousand yuan? That’s all that my husband and I have worked so hard for over the years, but it’s all going to disappear just because of an illness. Wouldn’t all these years of suffering have been for nothing? But if he doesn’t get treated and ends up paralyzed, who will fight for this family with me? Wouldn’t our lives just get harder?” My husband looked equally distressed, and he couldn’t face seeing his hard-earned money just disappear, so he decided to go home and rest. During that time, I was the only one in the family bringing money home, so I worked even harder, and even when I felt unwell, I gritted my teeth and persevered.
One day, around three months later, as I was preparing to leave for work, my neck suddenly hurt terribly, so much so that I couldn’t lift my head, everything I looked at was blurred and fuzzy, and I felt like I couldn’t keep my food down. My husband urged me to go to the hospital immediately. The doctor said that I had three serious herniations in my cervical and lumbar vertebrae, and that the lumbar disc herniation was already compressing the nerves in my left leg. The surgery would cost over 200,000 yuan, and my illness still might not even be curable. But if left untreated, I might end up paralyzed. When I heard this, I felt like I was going to collapse, as I thought to myself, “My husband is still sick, and now I might become paralyzed too. The money my husband and I have worked so hard for isn’t even enough for both of us to see a doctor! Over all these years, we’ve worked so hard to earn money, but in the end, we’ve enjoyed nothing, and both just ended up with a bunch of illnesses. Did we really work for all that money for nothing? And what’s more, even if we spend the money, there’s no guarantee I’ll be cured, and when the time comes, the money will be gone, as well as my life. What have I been living for this whole life?” I felt really lost, and spent my days feeling gloomy. Later, through a relative’s introduction, my husband and I found lighter jobs. We also received some money from the demolition of our house, and it seemed like our lives were starting to improve. However, the pain in my body often gave me a foreboding feeling, and I’d think, “Could I suddenly end up paralyzed? What if my life is cut short?” The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became, and I often regretted how foolish I had been over all these years, not cherishing my body at all just to earn money, and now even though I had a little money, no amount of money could cure my illness. I was worried, “How am I supposed to carry on like this?”
In my pain and confusion, my aunt preached the gospel to me once again. She played a hymn for me, titled “Man’s Fate Is Controlled by the Hands of God.” I heard the lyrics of the hymn say: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). This song immediately struck a chord in my heart. Over all these years, I’d worked tirelessly to earn money and endured a lot of hardship, just to live a life that others would envy, but in the end, my husband and I had both fallen ill and were facing paralysis. If we lost our lives, what good would all the money we’d earned be? When I thought about this, I realized that a person’s fate is truly not in their own hands. Over the next few days, my aunt came to eat and drink God’s words with me, and fellowshipped with me about the origin of humanity, the mysteries of God’s three stages of work, and God’s intention in saving humanity. I saw that God has expressed so many truths, that God’s words have authority and power, and I became certain that Almighty God is the true God and can save humanity. I also preached the gospel to my husband, and together, we accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days.
After accepting God’s work of the last days, I read many passages of God’s words. One day, I read some of God’s words: “When people do not know what fate is all about or understand God’s sovereignty, they are just struggling and stumbling through the fog based on their own will, and that journey is too arduous, too heartbreaking. So when people realize that God is sovereign over human fate, the clever ones choose to know and accept God’s sovereignty, and bid farewell to the painful days of ‘trying to build a good life with their own two hands,’ rather than continuing to struggle against fate and pursue their so-called life goals in their own way. When a person is without God, when they cannot see Him, when they cannot clearly know God’s sovereignty, every day is meaningless, worthless, and indescribably painful. No matter where a person is, and what their job is, their means of survival and the goals that they pursue bring them nothing but endless heartbreak and pain that is difficult to get over, such that they cannot bear to look back on their past. Only by accepting the Creator’s sovereignty, submitting to His orchestrations and arrangements, and pursuing the attainment of true human life, can a person gradually break free from all heartbreak and pain, and gradually rid themselves of all the emptiness of human life” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). From God’s words, I saw that if people don’t come before God, they can only live under the trickery of Satan, pursuing money, fame and gain. Only by coming before God, submitting to His sovereignty and arrangements, and pursuing according to the path God has guided us onto, can we be protected by God and escape the harms of Satan. Thinking about it, I was a person who suffered greatly at the hands of Satan. I hadn’t recognized God’s sovereignty before and always wanted to rely on myself to escape the mountains and live a good life in a big city that others would envy. But my husband’s family background didn’t satisfy my desires, so I wanted to rely on working to earn money and change my impoverished fate, using my own hands to create a better life and become a wealthy person others would envy. I worked myself to the bone to earn money, and even though the work seriously harmed my body, it didn’t stop my pursuit of wealth. In the end, not only did I not earn much money, I became exhausted and ill, and I was even faced with becoming paralyzed. These painful memories made me truly feel that people can’t control their own fate at all. I’d always wanted to rely on myself to change my fate, but in the end, I was tortured by Satan’s trickery.
Later, I asked myself, “Why was I willing to suffer and toil for money in the past but unwilling to believe in God and come before Him?” My husband and I read a passage of God’s words together: “‘Money makes the world go round’ is a philosophy of Satan. It prevails among the whole of mankind, in every human society; you could say it is a trend. This is because it has been instilled in the heart of every single person, who at first did not accept this saying, but then gave it tacit acceptance when they came into contact with real life, and began to feel that these words were in fact true. Is this not a process of Satan corrupting man? Perhaps people do not understand this saying to the same degree, but everyone has different degrees of interpretation and acknowledgment of this saying based on things that have happened around them and on their own personal experiences. Is that not the case? Regardless of how much experience someone has with this saying, what is the negative effect that it can have on someone’s heart? Something is revealed through the human disposition of the people in this world, including each and every one of you. What is it? It is the worship of money. Is it hard to remove this from someone’s heart? It is very hard! It seems that Satan’s corruption of man is deep indeed! Satan uses money to tempt people, and corrupts them into worshiping money and venerating material things. And how is this worship of money manifested in people? Do you feel that you could not survive in this world without any money, that even one day without money would be impossible? People’s status is based on how much money they have, as is the respect they command. The backs of the poor are bent in shame, while the rich enjoy their high status. They stand tall and proud, speaking loudly and living arrogantly. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Is it not true that many people make any sacrifice in the pursuit of money? Do many people not lose their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? Do many people not lose the opportunity to perform their duty and follow God for the sake of money? Is losing the chance to gain the truth and be saved not the greatest of all losses for people? Is Satan not sinister to use this method and this saying to corrupt man to such a degree? Is this not a malicious trick? As you progress from objecting to this popular saying to finally accepting it as truth, your heart falls completely into Satan’s grasp, and therefore you inadvertently come to live by the saying” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique V). After reading God’s words, I understood that people distance themselves from God and the truth because they’re influenced and poisoned by various erroneous viewpoints instilled by Satan. Satan uses sayings like “Money makes the world go round,” and “Man dies for wealth as birds do for food” to lure people to pursue money, leading them to struggle and live their entire lives to earn money. I had suffered so much in doing this! I believed that only by earning money could I improve my life, enjoy a high-quality material life, gain respect from others, and be envied by others. When doing manual work, I stayed up until two or three in the morning each day just to earn a few more cents. When I worked in a food factory, I didn’t get enough sleep, yet I never missed any chance I could get to work overtime for more money. The chemicals used in the grinding work were seriously harmful to human health, but because the pay was good, I was willing to do it. Over all these years, all I could think about was how to earn more money. Even when all this high-intensity work led to health issues for both my husband and me, I was still unwilling to delay work to rest, constantly telling myself, “If I want a good life, I have to grit my teeth and endure.” Eventually, through our hard work, we did earn some money, and gained the admiration of our neighbors, but both my husband and I had worn our bodies out, and sadly, the money we’d earned wasn’t even enough for our surgeries. I’d lived by Satan’s poison of “Money makes the world go round” and nearly ended up paralyzed. What I regretted even more was that when my aunt brought me God’s gospel of the last days, I rejected it to earn money. If it weren’t for God using my aunt to preach the gospel to me again, I would have almost lost the chance to follow God, gain the truth, and be saved. I’d been truly foolish! It was only at this moment that I realized that Satan had been using money to control my thoughts and dominate my life, causing my heart to drift ever farther from God. Satan’s tactics to mislead people are truly despicable and wicked!
Six months later, I began doing my duties in the church. At first, my duties were relatively easy and didn’t affect my earning money at my job, but later, when I became a leader, my workload in the church increased, and I found myself short on time. On several occasions, while in gatherings, my boss called me, and I worried that carrying on like this would affect my job and income. After all, this job wasn’t exhausting, and if I lost it, I wouldn’t be able to earn any money! But I knew that trying to balance my work and my duties would delay the church’s work. I felt very conflicted, so I prayed to God, “God, please guide me to not be constrained by money, and to not lose my chance to do my duties.”
One day, the preacher understood my state and ate and drank a passage of God’s words with me: “If I were to place some money in front of you right now and give you the freedom to choose—and if I did not condemn you for your choice—then most of you would choose the money and forsake the truth. The better among you would give up the money and choose the truth reluctantly, while those in-between would seize the money in one hand and the truth in the other. Would your true colors thus not become self-evident? When choosing between the truth and anything to which you are loyal, you would all make this choice, and your attitude would remain the same. Is that not so? Are there not many among you who have seesawed between right and wrong? In contests between positive and negative, black and white, you are surely aware of the choices that you have made between family and God, children and God, peace and disruption, riches and poverty, status and ordinariness, being supported and being cast aside, and so on. Between a peaceful family and a broken one, you chose the former, and you did so without any hesitation; between riches and duty, you again chose the former, even lacking the will to return to shore; between luxury and poverty, you chose the former; when choosing between your sons, daughters, wives and husbands, and Me, you chose the former; and between notion and truth, you once again chose the former. Faced with all manner of your evil deeds, I have simply lost faith in you. It simply astounds Me that your hearts are so resistant to being softened. Many years of dedication and effort have apparently brought Me nothing more than your abandonment and resignation, but My hopes for you grow with each passing day, for My day has been completely laid bare before everyone. Yet you persist in seeking dark and evil things, and refuse to loosen your grip on them. What, then, will be your outcome? Have you ever given careful consideration to this? If you were asked to choose again, what then would be your position? Would it still be the former? Would you still bring Me disappointment and wretched sorrow? Would your hearts still possess the sole modicum of warmth? Would you still be unaware of what to do to comfort My heart?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Whom Are You Loyal?). From the exposure of God’s words, I saw that, after we’ve been corrupted by Satan, when offered a choice between money and the truth, we unhesitatingly choose money and abandon the opportunity to pursue the truth. Although I had come into God’s house, and through the watering of God’s words, I had come to understand some truths, when the church’s work conflicted with my personal financial interests, I hesitated and considered money more important than the truth. Was I not still following Satan? Realizing this, I became aware that this was God giving me a chance to choose again, to see whether I would follow Satan and pursue money or follow God and pursue the truth. As I looked at the brothers and sisters around me, I saw that they were coming to understand more and more truths as they trained in their duties in the church, and I saw that the church was cultivating me to do my duties as a leader in the hopes that as I contributed my part, I could also gain more truths. I couldn’t lose my chance to gain the truth to make money, and I couldn’t disappoint God’s good intention. Also, I always worried that if I gave up my job and stopped earning money, then our living conditions would be worse than others’. But really, even though I now had a house and some extra money, none of this had been earned by me, but was provided by God through circumstances like the demolition of our house. I truly realized that how much wealth a person can have isn’t determined by their own choices, but is subject to God’s ordination. I saw that no matter how hard I tried by relying on myself, I wouldn’t be able to earn more money than what was destined for me. But I still worried that if I couldn’t earn money, my life would be poor and I wouldn’t be respected by others, so I was wavering between money and my duties. Was I not in the same state as when I rejected God’s gospel of the last days for the sake of money? I couldn’t waste any more of my time pursuing money and enjoyment, as this would cause me to lose the opportunity to gain the truth and lead me to ruin.
Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must sacrifice yourself for the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of the enjoyment of a harmonious family life, and you must not lose a lifetime of dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). God’s words touched my heart, and I understood that only coming before God and pursuing to gain the truth are truly meaningful and valuable. Looking back, my aunt had preached God’s gospel to me fifteen years before, but I rejected it to make money, and I had missed out on God’s salvation for fifteen years! For these years, I worked like a robot, doing hard labor day after day, not allowing myself a moment to even pause and breathe, and as a result, I had all manner of illnesses from exhaustion. Fifteen years of struggling for money ultimately left me completely empty, and I saw that living like this is completely meaningless. I thought of a relative of mine, who made a lot of money, was envied by everyone in the village and became a business owner, but he’d often socialize and drink with business partners, and this ultimately led to liver disease due to alcohol poisoning. The doctor urged him not to drink anymore, but to earn more money, he didn’t hesitate to harm his body by continuing to drink and socialize, and eventually he developed liver cancer and died at a young age. I remembered what the Lord Jesus said: “What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). God’s words tell me that money, fame, and gain can’t buy life and can only lead to destruction. If I didn’t do my duties properly and continued down the path of pursuing money, my body would surely break down, and not only would my life be ruined, but I would also lose my chance at salvation. Although I now earned less money than before, I could often eat and drink God’s words and fellowship experiences with brothers and sisters, which was a grace from God! I also came to understand that God allowed me to train in my duties in the church so that I could equip myself with more truth, discern the means by which Satan harms people, know my corrupt satanic disposition, and find the right direction in life from God’s words. The truth that a person gains from God is eternal life, something that can’t be taken away by anyone. It is incomparable to money and is the most precious thing in life. Realizing this, I prayed to God that I was willing to give up my job, and to properly believe in God and do my duties in the days to come.
Later, I gave up my job and dedicated myself fully to my duties. Now, both my husband and I are in good health, and the symptoms of dizziness, back pain, and discomfort that we once felt have all disappeared. What makes me even happier is that by training in my duties, I have gained some understanding of my corrupt disposition. I am so grateful to God for rescuing me from the bondage of money, fame, and gain, and for bringing me before Him and giving me more opportunities to gain the truth.