By Fanyi, China

In February 2021, both Wang Hua and I were elected as church leaders. Since Wang Hua had previous experience as a leader and was also experienced in preaching the gospel, she was primarily responsible for the gospel work, while I handled other tasks. When encountering problems or difficulties in my work, I would seek from her, and she was always willing to fellowship with me and help me. We got along quite harmoniously. After a while, I noticed that Wang Hua had a strong sense of self-will, especially in matters of selecting and using people. She always relied on her own perspective without seeking the truth principles, and showed no willingness to consider others’ suggestions. One day, the gospel deacon reported that the team leader, Li Zhi, had consistently been perfunctory in his duties, showed no sense of burden, and despite multiple rounds of fellowship, he had not corrected his behavior. He’d even left his duties unattended for a week, completely ignoring them due to personal matters. After hearing this, I felt quite angry and felt that Li Zhi was unfit to continue as a team leader and that, according to principles, he should be dismissed and reassigned. I shared my viewpoint with Wang Hua, but to my surprise, she not only refused to listen, but also sternly criticized me, saying I was immature in my thinking and being too demanding of others. She even said that when Li Zhi was in a good state, he could gain people by preaching the gospel and that he needed more fellowship and help. I said, “To be a team leader, one must have a sense of burden and responsibility. Based on Li Zhi’s consistent behavior in his duties, he is not suitable for the position of team leader at all. Yet you still insist on keeping him in the role. This is going against principles!” But Wang Hua still wouldn’t listen and said, “If we dismiss Li Zhi and can’t find a suitable replacement right away, the work results may suffer, and we won’t be able to provide a satisfactory explanation if the leaders ask about it. Having someone in the position is better than not having anyone at all.” Hearing her say this, I could see that she was focused only on her own reputation and status, and that she wasn’t considering the church’s work at all. So I wanted to expose the nature and consequences of her acting in this way. But seeing her angry expression, I felt concerned, thinking, “Usually, she gets impatient even when I briefly mention issues with her work. If I speak too plainly and directly, I’ll likely anger her, and she’ll give me the cold shoulder. If this strains our relationship, how will we collaborate in the future? What if I encounter difficulties at work and she no longer helps me? Maybe it’s better not to bring it up. She’s been doing her duties for so many years and understands the principles for reassigning people better than I do. She probably has her own plans. Best not concern myself with it too much.” So, I just reminded her to consider the pros and cons when it comes to using people and didn’t bring this matter up again.

Not long after, Wang Hua told me that Sister Shuxin was sharp-minded and good at conversing with people, and that she planned to cultivate her to preach the gospel. When I heard this, I thought, “I’m familiar with Shuxin. She’s always been irresponsible in her duties, selfish, and deceitful. When she was being cultivated to water newcomers before, she found it troublesome and was afraid of taking responsibility if the newcomers left. After just over twenty days of watering, she stopped going and even falsely claimed that her husband was preventing her from doing her duties.” So I shared what I knew with Wang Hua and reminded her that someone like Shuxin wasn’t suitable for cultivating. Wang Hua didn’t listen to my advice at all. She said that it wasn’t possible to fully judge a person’s true nature from just one interaction, and that we had to view them from a developmental perspective instead. I felt this was inappropriate and wanted to stop her. But then I thought, “She’s already told everyone about cultivating Shuxin, so if I disagree, it’ll be sure to embarrass her. Will she think I’m being arrogant and meddlesome? What if this strains our relationship? That’d make it difficult to get along in the future.” Thinking of this, I lost the confidence to insist further and just reassured myself by thinking, “At least I’ve given all the reminders I should. If any issues arise in the future, it won’t be my responsibility.”

Later, I learned that Li Zhi remained indifferent toward his duties, and that this affected the states of the brothers and sisters, leading to a serious decline in work effectiveness. Additionally, Shuxin showed no sense of burden for preaching the gospel, and she’d abandon her duties whenever she got busy at home, and her duties yielded few results. The leaders sent a letter addressing the deviations and issues in our gospel work, and fellowshipped and pruned us. But Wang Hua showed no self-blame at all. Instead, she argued back and tried to justify herself, saying that the brothers and sisters had no sense of burden for their duties. I really wanted to expose and dissect her issues, but I was also afraid that she would say I didn’t know myself and was just pruning her, so I gave her a brief reminder to reflect on herself and repent to God. Later on, I saw that Wang Hua had no knowledge of herself. The brothers and sisters had reported that she only focused on picking at their work and reprimanding them during gatherings, that she didn’t resolve actual issues, and that everyone felt constrained by her. I realized that Wang Hua was likely a false leader, so I wanted to report this to the upper leaders. But then I thought, “If she finds out that I reported her problems, won’t she hold a grudge against me? After all, she has helped me in my duties….” I kept thinking it over, but in the end, I still didn’t have the courage to write anything about her. Later, the upper leaders came to look into the work. They discovered that Wang Hua was arrogant and self-righteous, acted without any principles, that she didn’t accept others’ suggestions, and that she only spoke of words and doctrines without doing any actual work, so she was identified as a false leader and dismissed. Also, because I’d been acting as a people pleaser and had failed to uphold the church’s work, I was dismissed as well. Soon after, Li Zhi and Shuxin were also dismissed. Having been dealt with like this, I felt fearful and knew that I had done evil. In particular, when I thought back to the leaders’ questioning of me, “When you saw Wang Hua act against principles and you couldn’t stop her, why didn’t you report her? Why did you keep trying to protect your relationship with her? You were so irresponsible in your duties!” I felt a really sharp pain in my heart. In order to maintain my relationship with Wang Hua, I didn’t consider the church’s work. I saw that she had disrupted and disturbed the church’s work, but I didn’t stop her. I was condoning this false leader’s evil actions and acting as her accomplice! In the months following my dismissal, I felt very despondent, and I lived in a state of utter despair and passed a negative verdict on myself.

Seeing me in a bad state, the brothers and sisters shared God’s words with me to help me. There was a passage that left a deep impression on me. God says: “During the process of life’s growth and the course of human salvation, people may sometimes take the wrong path, deviate, or have times where they exhibit states and behaviors of immaturity in life. They may have times of weakness and negativity, times when they say the wrong things, stumble, or experience failure. All of this is normal in the eyes of God. He does not hold it against them. Some people think their corruption is too deep, and that they can never satisfy God, so they feel sorrowful and despise themselves. Those who have a repentant heart like this are precisely the ones that God saves. On the other hand, those who believe they do not need God’s salvation, who think they are good people and there is nothing wrong with them, usually are not the ones God saves. What is it that I’m conveying to you here? Whoever understands, speak up. (We have to properly handle our revelations of corruption and focus on practicing the truth, and then we will receive God’s salvation. If we consistently misunderstand God, we will easily resign ourselves to hopelessness.) You must have faith and say, ‘Though I am weak now, and I have stumbled and failed. I will grow, and one day I will understand the truth, satisfy God, and achieve salvation.’ You must have this resolve. No matter what setbacks, difficulties, failures, or trip-ups you encounter, you must not be negative. You must know what kind of people God saves. Moreover, if you feel that you are not yet qualified to be saved by God, or if there are occasions where you are in states which God loathes or is displeased with, or there are times you behave poorly, and God doesn’t accept you, or God spurns you, it doesn’t matter. Now you know, and it is not too late. As long as you repent, God will give you a chance” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Believing in God, What Is Most Important Is to Practice and Experience His Words). Pondering over God’s words, I felt His love, and saw that God’s heart for saving people has never changed. God did not stop saving me just because I had been a people pleaser and caused harm to the church’s work. Instead, He hoped that through this failure, I would reflect on and know my own issues, learn lessons, repent, and change. I needed to pick myself up, reflect on the reasons for my failure, and sincerely repent. So, I prayed to God, “Oh God! I know I have been negligent in my duties, and I feel ashamed to face You. But I don’t want to stay in this despondent state. May You enlighten and guide me to know my own issues.”

One day, I read these words of God: “When you need to practice the truth and protect the interests of God’s house, are you able to overcome the constraint of your corrupt dispositions and stand on the side of the truth? For example, you are paired with someone to carry out the work of cleansing the church, but they always fellowship to the brothers and sisters that God saves people to the greatest possible extent, and that we must treat people with love and give them opportunities to repent. You become aware that something is wrong with their fellowship, and although the words that they speak seem quite correct, you discover upon detailed analysis that they are harboring intentions and goals, are not willing to offend anyone, and do not want to carry out the work arrangements. When they fellowship like this, people who are small in stature and undiscerning will be disturbed by them, recklessly show love in an unprincipled manner, pay no heed to being discerning toward others, and not expose or report antichrists, evil people, and disbelievers. This is an obstruction to the work of cleansing the church. If antichrists, evil people, and disbelievers cannot be cleansed away in a timely manner, it will affect God’s chosen ones’ normal eating and drinking of His words and the normal performance of their duties, and will especially disrupt and disturb the work of the church while harming the interests of God’s house. At a time like this, how should you practice? When you notice the problem, you must stand up and expose this person; you must put a stop to them and protect the work of the church. You may ponder: ‘We are work partners. If I directly exposed them and they did not accept it, then wouldn’t we have a falling out? No, I can’t just speak out, I have to be a bit more tactful.’ So, you give them a simple reminder and some words of exhortation. After hearing what you say, they do not accept it, and also rattle off a bunch of reasons to refute you. If they do not accept it, the work of God’s house will suffer losses. What should you do? You pray to God, saying: ‘God, please arrange and orchestrate this. Discipline them—there is nothing I can do.’ You think that you cannot stop them and so you let them go unchecked. Is this responsible behavior? Do you practice the truth? If you cannot stop them, why do you not report this to the leaders and workers? Why do you not take this matter to a gathering and let everyone fellowship on it and discuss it? If you do not do this, then would you really not blame yourself afterward? If you say, ‘I can’t manage this, so I’ll just ignore it. I have a clear conscience,’ then what kind of heart do you have? Is it a heart that truly loves or is it one that harms others? Your heart is such a vicious one, because when something befalls you, you are afraid of offending people and do not adhere to the principles. Actually, you know very well that this person has their own goal in acting this way and that you cannot listen to them on this matter. However, you are unable to adhere to the principles and stop them from misleading others, and this ultimately harms the interests of God’s house. Would you blame yourself at all after this? (I would.) Does blaming yourself enable you to retrieve the losses? They are irretrievable. Afterward, you ponder again: ‘I have fulfilled my responsibilities anyway, and God knows. God scrutinizes the bottom of people’s hearts.’ What kind of words are these? These are deceptive, devilish words that cheat both man and God. You have not fulfilled your responsibilities, and still look for reasons and excuses to shirk them. This is deceitful and intransigent. Does a person like this have any sincerity toward God? Do they have a sense of justice? (They do not.) This is a person who does not accept the truth in the slightest, a person of Satan’s ilk. When something befalls you, you live by philosophies for worldly dealings, and do not practice the truth. You are always afraid of offending others, but not of offending God, and will even sacrifice the interests of God’s house to protect your interpersonal relationships. What are the consequences of acting in this way? You will have protected your interpersonal relationships quite well, but you will have offended God, and He will spurn you, and be angry with you. Which is better, on balance? If you cannot tell, then you are completely muddled; it proves that you do not have the slightest understanding of the truth. If you go on like that without ever waking up to it, the danger is great indeed, and if you are unable to attain the truth in the end, it will be you who has suffered a loss” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words exposed my exact state. I saw that I was just a selfish and deceitful people pleaser who had no sense of responsibility toward the church’s work. I clearly saw that Wang Hua was working according to her own will and not seeking principles, and I also knew that I should have upheld the principles and exposed and stopped her to protect the church’s work. But when I pointed out her issues and she didn’t accept them, I was afraid of offending her and damaging our collaboration in our duties. To maintain my relationship with her, I always just downplayed her issues and I never exposed the essence of her problems. I also didn’t report her issues to our leaders. This ultimately harmed the gospel work. But even when this happened, I didn’t reflect on myself and instead made excuses to accommodate myself. I thought that since I had already reminded her and she didn’t accept it, there was nothing more I could do. But deep down, I was well aware that I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities at all. I merely mentioned things superficially, without achieving any real effect. I was just deceiving myself and others! Even when I discerned her as a false leader, I still didn’t expose or report her, and I even condoned her as she disrupted and hindered the church’s work. I was sacrificing the church’s interests to cater to personal relationships, protecting and condoning the false leader as she did evil and disturbed the church’s work. I was truly selfish and despicable!

I then read these words of God: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Upon pondering God’s words, I realized that the root of my tendency to be a people pleaser was that I had adopted Satan’s poisons, such as “Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,” “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” and “One more friend means one more path,” as laws for living. I believed that while living in this world and interacting with others, one needed to build broad social connections and good relationships; otherwise, they couldn’t stand firm in society, and offending one more person would mean acquiring one more enemy. Even when doing duties in the church, I continued to live by these satanic philosophies, placing great importance on relationships with others and lacking any principle or stance in my duties. God showed me grace by giving me the opportunity to train as a leader. I should have prioritized the church’s work in all things. When I saw my partnered sister acting against principles, I should have promptly pointed it out and helped her, and if she insisted on her ways, I should have exposed her and stopped her, or I could also have reported the issue to our leaders in a timely manner to prevent any losses being brought to the church’s work. But instead, to protect my pride and status, I acted as a people pleaser and didn’t practice the truth. I failed to supervise her work, and I condoned her in doing evil. I gave no consideration to the church’s work and lacked a sense of justice. Wang Hua recklessly committed misdeeds and was detestable, and I was well aware that she was doing evil and causing disturbances, yet I didn’t expose or stop her in time, allowing her to harm the church’s work. The nature of my behavior was even more egregious and shameful! If I’d reported Wang Hua’s issues earlier, the leaders would have handled and resolved them sooner, and things wouldn’t have worsened to this extent. Living by Satan’s philosophies, I’d become truly selfish and deceitful. I didn’t dare to point out the issues I noticed in others, and I lacked sincerity and genuine love for others. I also lacked a sense of responsibility toward my duties. All that I did brought harm to the church’s work. I ate and drank and enjoyed all that God had given me but did not consider His intentions at all. Time and again, I sided with the false leader, harming the church’s work. I was nothing but an ungrateful betrayer, lacking any sense of humanity or reason! Someone like me was utterly unworthy of being a leader, let alone living before God. The church’s dismissal of me from my position was a manifestation of God’s righteousness and the consequence of my own actions. Recognizing this, I was filled with regret and self-reproach.

After that, I prayed to God, seeking a path to resolve my corrupt disposition. One day, I read these words of God: “If you want to fulfill your duties well and satisfy God’s intentions, then you must learn to work in harmony with others first. When cooperating with your brothers and sisters, you should consider the following: ‘What is harmony? Is my speech in harmony with them? Are my thoughts in harmony with them? Is the way I do things in harmony with them?’ Consider how to cooperate in harmony. At times, harmony means forbearance and tolerance, but it also means standing your ground and upholding principles. Harmony does not mean compromising on principles to smooth things over, or trying to be ‘a people pleaser,’ or sticking to the path of moderation—and it certainly does not mean ingratiating yourself to someone. These are principles. Once you have grasped these principles, you will, without realizing it, speak and act in accordance with God’s intentions, and live out the reality of the truth, and in this way it is easy to achieve unity” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On Harmonious Cooperation). “What is cooperation? You have to be able to discuss things with each other, and express your views and opinions; you must complement and supervise each other, and seek from each other, make inquiries of each other, and prompt each other. That’s what it is to cooperate in harmony. Say, for instance, you handled something according to your own will, and someone said, ‘You did it wrong, entirely against the principles. Why did you handle it however you wanted, without seeking the truth?’ To this, you say, ‘That’s right—I’m glad you alerted me! If you hadn’t, it would have spelled disaster!’ That’s what prompting each other is. What is it, then, to supervise each other? Everyone has a corrupt disposition, and may be perfunctory in doing their duty, safeguarding only their own status and pride, not the interests of God’s house. Such states are there in every person. If you learn that someone has a problem, you should take the initiative to fellowship with them, reminding them to do their duty according to the principles, while letting it stand as a warning to yourself. That’s mutual supervision. What function does mutual supervision serve? It’s meant to safeguard the interests of God’s house, and also to keep people from taking the wrong road” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). From God’s words, I understood that everyone has corrupt dispositions, as well as shortcomings and deficiencies. It is meaningful for the church to arrange for leaders and workers to cooperate in their duties. It is meant for them to supervise, remind, and complement one another, providing mutual restraint, averting disruptions and disturbances to the church’s work caused by actions based on their corrupt dispositions. In doing duties in cooperation, there must also be principles. In matters that don’t involve the truth principles, we can practice tolerance and forbearance. But when it comes to matters involving the truth principles and the interests of the church, we must not compromise or accommodate. We have to uphold principles and stand firm. This is safeguarding the interests of the church and being responsible for the work. When faced with others’ pointers and help, those who can truly accept the truth are able to accept them from God, reflect on and know themselves, and promptly correct problems and deviations. Not only will they not resent others, but they will also be grateful in their hearts. But I absurdly believed that pointing out someone’s problems would damage the relationship and offend them. So I simply indulged and condoned them, without exposing or reporting their issues. As a result, the church’s work was delayed, and I was left with transgressions. I realized that being a people pleaser really harms both others and myself!

Later, I read more words of God: “If you have the motivations and perspective of a people pleaser, then, in all matters, you will be incapable of practicing the truth and abiding by principle, and you will always fail and fall down. If you do not awaken and do not ever seek the truth, then you are a disbeliever, and you will never gain the truth and life. What, then, should you do? When faced with such things, you must pray to God and call out to Him, begging for salvation and asking that He give you more faith and strength and enable you to abide by the principles, do what you should do, handle things according to the principles, stand firm in the position you should stand in, protect the interests of God’s house, and prevent any harm from coming to the work of God’s house. If you are able to rebel against your self-interests, your pride, and your standpoint of a people pleaser, and if you do what you should do with an honest, undivided heart, then you will have defeated Satan and gained this aspect of the truth. If you always persist in living by the philosophy of Satan, protecting your relationships with others, never practicing the truth, and not daring to abide by the principles, then will you be able to practice the truth in other matters? You will still have no faith or strength. If you are never able to seek or accept the truth, then will such faith in God allow you to obtain the truth? (No.) And if you cannot obtain the truth, can you be saved? You cannot. If you always live by the philosophy of Satan, utterly devoid of the truth reality, then you can never be saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words gave me a path of practice. When faced with a situation where I want to be a people pleaser again, I need to pray to God immediately, and ask Him for strength so that I can set aside my own interests and act according to principles, ensuring that the church’s work doesn’t suffer. This is the responsibility that one should fulfill as a created being. If I constantly cling to the mindset of being a people pleaser and constantly try to protect my relationships with others, then my satanic disposition of being a people pleaser will never change, and ultimately, I will never gain the truth, much less receive God’s salvation. So, I resolved in my heart, “No matter what kind of people, events, or things I encounter in the future, I must not be constrained by my corrupt disposition anymore. I must uphold principles to protect the church’s work and be a responsible person.”

A few months later, I was elected as a church leader again. I noticed that Zhang Jie, the deacon of general affairs, had quite an arrogant disposition. She was arbitrary and dictatorial in her duties, and she kept trying to take on everything herself and didn’t cooperate with others. So I wanted to fellowship with her to expose the nature and consequences of this approach. But when I thought about how I’d just arrived at this church and needed her assistance and cooperation for many tasks, I worried about what I’d do if I spoke too harshly and she wasn’t able to accept it. I thought I’d be better off not offending her and just saying a few brief words. At that moment, I remembered how I’d failed in the past because of my acting as a people pleaser, and I felt a strong sense of guilt, and thought, “Since I’ve identified Zhang Jie’s issues, I should correct and help her. She’s a worker, and if she can’t work harmoniously with others, it’ll be sure to impact the work.” So I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to practice the truth and protect the church’s work. After praying, I felt strengthened. I drew on God’s words to fellowship with Zhang Jie and dissect her issues, and I also drew on my own experiences to help her. Zhang Jie accepted my guidance and help, and reflected on and came to know herself, and later on, she became able to cooperate normally with others. Seeing this result made me feel very happy. When I practiced the truth and didn’t act as a people pleaser, I didn’t offend others as I’d imagined. Practicing in this way not only benefited the lives of the brothers and sisters but also safeguarded the church’s work. I saw that only by practicing God’s words and handling matters according to principles can a person do their duties well. Thank God!