By Jodie, USA

Almighty God says: “It’s an honor to do your duty in God’s six-thousand-year management work. This is an honor for every person. It is not a matter of humiliation; the key is how you treat and repay this honor you received from God. God has elevated you; don’t fail to appreciate His kindness. You should know to repay God’s grace. How should you repay it? God doesn’t want your money or your life, and He doesn’t desire any inherited treasures passed down through your family. What does God want? God desires your sincerity and loyalty” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (19)). Reading this passage of God’s words, I thought about my own experience from a while ago, when I was irresponsible in my duty and got pruned. God had exalted me to the duty of a leader, but I didn’t appreciate it and treated the duty as a burden and a nuisance, which led to work delays and left me with indebtedness and regrets.

In April 2023, the upper leader assigned the video work and sermon work to me and two partnered sisters to be responsible for. At first, I was full of resolve, reassigning unsuitable team leaders and supervisors with my partnered sisters, following up on each team’s work progress, identifying deviations in the work, planning out work, and so on. Although the workload was heavy and kept me busy, I felt quite fulfilled. Later, the upper leader arranged for me to focus on following up on the scriptwriting work. This job was very challenging for me, and I felt that even with my best efforts, I might not be able to do it well. But since it had been assigned directly by the upper leader, I dared not neglect this task, so I put almost all my energy into the scriptwriting work. When brothers and sisters from other teams asked me questions, I handled the easy ones quickly, but anything that required thinking or time and effort to consider, I pretended not to see, or directly forwarded to my partnered sisters to handle. I even set many messages as “unread” after seeing them. At this time, my partnered sisters also reminded me to follow up on the work of other teams. I would agree verbally, but later only did some superficial work, and after a few days, I found it troublesome and couldn’t be bothered to handle it. Sometimes I had some free time, and thought maybe I could follow up on other work, but then I thought, “I’m still really lacking in my professional skills, and it would be better to spend this time learning more professional knowledge, so that I can improve as quickly as I can and handle the scriptwriting work better. This isn’t neglecting my proper work; my partnered sisters should understand.” In this way, that little bit of guilt in my heart disappeared.

One day, I found that the progress of the video work was slow and sent a message to the team leader to understand the situation. The team leader sent me a long list of reasons. All I saw was him arguing back so I wanted to understand the details, but then I thought, “Understanding the details would take more time, and since this work is mainly my partnered sister’s responsibility, she will also follow up on it, so I shouldn’t worry too much to avoid delaying my own work.” Before long, the upper leader found out that the slow progress of the video work severely delayed the work, so he severely pruned us for being irresponsible, and dismissed the sister responsible for this work. Afterward, the leader grilled me, asking, “Do you think that just because you were assigned to handle scriptwriting work, that so long as you do that job well, the issues in the other work have nothing to do with you no matter how big they are? Are you afraid of suffering adversity? You are too irresponsible, occupying a position without doing actual work. You are just a false leader, unworthy of trust or cultivation!” The upper leader’s words struck me with great pain. I knew that I had not followed up on many tasks lately, and that what the leader said in pruning me was true, but afterward, I also felt somewhat aggrieved, thinking, “It’s not true that I’ve done no real work at all. I just wanted to focus my energy on the scriptwriting work. That’s not such a big problem, is it?” So I looked for relevant words of God regarding my state, and I read these words of God: “Antichrists have no conscience, reason, or humanity. Not only are they heedless of shame, but they have another hallmark, too: They are uncommonly selfish and vile. The literal sense of their ‘selfishness and vileness’ is not hard to grasp: They are blind to anything but their own interests. Anything concerning their own interests gets their full attention, and they will suffer for it, pay a price, engross themselves in it, and devote themselves to it. Anything not related to their own interests they will turn a blind eye to and take no notice of; others can do as they please—antichrists don’t care if anyone is being disruptive or disturbing, and to them, this has nothing to do with them. Put tactfully, they mind their own business. But it is more accurate to say that this kind of person is vile, base, and sordid; we define them as ‘selfish and vile.’ … Regardless of what work they undertake, antichrists never give any thought to the interests of the house of God. They only consider whether their own interests will be affected, only think about the little bit of work in front of them that benefits them. For them, the primary work of the church is just something they do in their spare time. They don’t take it seriously at all. They only move when they’re prodded into action, only do what they like to do, and only do work that is for the sake of maintaining their own status and power. In their eyes, any work arranged by God’s house, the work of spreading the gospel, and the life entry of God’s chosen people are not important. No matter what difficulties other people have in their work, what issues they have identified and reported to them, how sincere their words are, the antichrists pay no heed, they do not get involved, it’s as if this has nothing to do with them. No matter how major the problems emerging in the church’s work are, they are utterly indifferent. Even when a problem is right in front of them, they only address it perfunctorily. Only when they are directly pruned by the Above and ordered to sort out a problem will they grudgingly do a little real work and give the Above something to see; soon after, they will continue with their own business. When it comes to the work of the church, to the important things of the wider context, they are disinterested in and disregard these things. They even ignore the problems they discover, and they give perfunctory answers or hem and haw when asked about problems, only addressing them with great reluctance. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). After reading God’s words, I felt truly ashamed. This was how I did my duty. I was initially enthusiastic and determined to shoulder the work, because I knew that if problems arose with this work, both my partnered sisters and I would have to bear the responsibility. So I did my best to cooperate, since when the work was done well, I would also benefit. Later, the upper leader assigned me to primarily follow up on the scriptwriting work and I was worried that if I didn’t do well, it would reveal my poor caliber and inability to do actual work, so I put all my focus into the scriptwriting work, trying to attend to the work of the team, their professional study, and the states of team members as much as possible. Although it was good to put more effort into scriptwriting work, later on, even though I clearly had the time and energy to follow up on other work, I was unwilling to bother with it. Sometimes, to save face, I would reluctantly do some superficial work, just going through the motions, thinking that some work wasn’t my direct responsibility, and that if problems arose, the leader wouldn’t hold me directly accountable. I thought that if I put in less effort, it wouldn’t affect me much, and that it would be better to spend the time learning more professional skills, and so, as seemed logical, I passed the work onto others, becoming a hands-off manager. I saw that the state of how I did my duty was exactly like that of an antichrist, being calculating and meticulous in doing things. I put more thought into and was willing to suffer and pay a price for anything that would benefit my reputation and status while ignoring anything that didn’t benefit me, only taking action when I was pushed and not caring when seeing problems arise. With the way I did my duty, I was just like a laborer or a nonbeliever. I had enjoyed the watering of so many of God’s words but didn’t think about doing my duty well, and all my thoughts were about my own reputation and status. I had been truly selfish and despicable!

Later, I also considered that the reason I felt so guiltless in my neglecting other work was because I felt that the scriptwriting work that I had just taken on was challenging and required more of my attention, so even if I disregarded other work, everyone would understand, and it wouldn’t be as if I was doing no actual work. But why did the upper leader say I was a false leader? I looked up God’s words regarding the responsibilities of leaders and workers and read them. Almighty God says: “As a leader, you are responsible for all the work, not just one task. If you see that a particular task is especially important, you can oversee that task, but you also need to find time to inspect, direct, and follow up on other tasks. If you are only content with doing one task well and then consider things finished, and assign other tasks to other people without caring or asking about them, this is irresponsible behavior and a dereliction of responsibility. If you are a leader, then no matter how many tasks you are responsible for, it is your responsibility to constantly ask questions about them and inquire, at the same time also inspecting them and resolving problems promptly as they arise. This is your job. And so, whether you are a regional leader, district leader, church leader, or any team leader or supervisor, once you have known the scope of your responsibilities, you must frequently examine whether you are doing real work, whether you have fulfilled the responsibilities that ought to be fulfilled by a leader or worker, as well as which tasks—out of the several entrusted to you—you haven’t done, which you don’t want to do, which have yielded poor results, and which you have failed to grasp the principles of. These are all things you should examine often. At the same time, you must learn to fellowship with and ask questions of other people, and must learn how to identify, in God’s words and the work arrangements, a plan, principles, and a path for practice. Toward any work arrangement, whether it relates to administration, personnel, or church life, or else any kind of professional work, if it touches upon the responsibilities of leaders and workers, then it is a responsibility that leaders and workers are supposed to fulfill, and within the purview of what leaders and workers are responsible for—these are the tasks you should attend to. Naturally, priorities should be set based on the situation; no work may fall behind. Some leaders and workers say, ‘I don’t have three heads and six arms. There are so many tasks in the work arrangement; I absolutely can’t manage if I’m put in charge of all of them.’ If there are some tasks that you can’t personally be involved in, then have you arranged for someone else to do them? After making this arrangement, did you follow up and make inquiries? Did you vet their work? Surely you had the time to make inquiries and conduct vetting? You definitely did! Some leaders and workers say, ‘I can only do one job at a time. If you ask me to conduct vetting, I can only vet one task at a time; any more than that is unfeasible.’ If that is the case, you are a good-for-nothing, your caliber is extremely poor, you have no work capability, you are not cut out to be a leader or worker, and you should step down. Just do some work that suits you—don’t cause delays to the church’s work and the life growth of God’s chosen people because your caliber is too poor for you to do work; if you lack this reason, you are selfish and vile. If you are of ordinary caliber but are able to be considerate of God’s intentions, you are willing to train, and you feel unsure that you can do the work well, then you should seek out a couple of people of good caliber to cooperate with you in the work. This is a good approach, and counts as having reason” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (10)). The first sentence of God’s words rebuffed my notions. God says that leaders are responsible for the overall work, and that they should have a detailed grasp of every task within the scope of their responsibility. When following up on work, they can prioritize according to urgency, focusing on following up on particularly important tasks, and delegating other tasks to other brothers and sisters if they are overwhelmed, but they should not be a hands-off manager, passing tasks to others and then disregarding them. They should still periodically ask after and inspect these things, and promptly resolve any issues. One cannot rely on their own imaginings, and just follow up on tasks they consider important, while neglecting other tasks; this is neglect of duty. I thought that by immersing myself daily in scriptwriting work, collaborating on scriptwriting and discussing issues with everyone, I was doing actual work. I didn’t view things based on God’s words but rather did my duty according to my own imaginings, which meant that many tasks, which I only ever asked after occasionally, were later disregarded without me feeling any guilt, and when the upper leader pruned me for neglecting my duties, I even felt aggrieved. I was truly numb! The truth was that even if I was busy with one task for a period of time, this was no excuse for me not to follow up on other work. Just as God says: “If there are some tasks that you can’t personally be involved in, then have you arranged for someone else to do them? After making this arrangement, did you follow up and make inquiries? Did you vet their work? Surely you had the time to make inquiries and conduct vetting? You definitely did!” During this time, I was primarily focused on scriptwriting work, but if I had a heart, I should have also had a burden for other work and tried to balance it as much as possible. If I didn’t have the energy, I could communicate clearly with my partnered sisters, and have them follow up on tasks more, and if problems arose, we could discuss and resolve them together. If I was responsible for multiple tasks and my caliber was lacking, I could report to the upper leadership, so as not to delay work. The key issue wasn’t that I had no time at all, but that I was unwilling to put in time. This was a lack of responsibility, and a sign of being a false leader. I prayed to God, “God, I’ve been so irresponsible in my duties and truly unworthy of being a leader. I wasn’t grateful for the many opportunities of training God’s house gave me, and I treated my duties as a burden and a nuisance. I truly have no conscience or humanity! Given that God’s house has not dismissed me, I am willing to repent and cherish this opportunity, and will diligently do my duties well going forward.”

Later, the upper leader assigned me to be responsible for the work of filming experiential testimony videos. I felt very grateful, thinking, “This time I’ll genuinely repent and take on more responsibility in my duties.” From then on, my days were filled, and I was often busy until late into the night. I worked late into the night for a period of time, and when I saw some improvement in the work results, I felt very happy, thinking that I had done some real work this time, and that the upper leader should be able to see my repentance. Later, I found a supervisor to follow up on the filming of experiential testimony videos, and my schedule became relatively relaxed, and I had time to attend to other church work. But what happened later revealed me again. At that time, the church needed to purchase something, and because it involved church finances, one of my partnered sisters asked to discuss it with me. At first, I could participate in the discussions, but after a few times, I found it troublesome, thinking that discussing this matter was taking up a lot of time, that this was primarily the responsibility of my partnered sister, and that if it was done well, the upper leader wouldn’t know if I’d participated. I thought it’d be better for me to spend the time filming more experiential testimony videos, as that had visible results. But when I thought about how this was also within my scope of responsibility, I had to participate in the discussions perfunctorily to save face. There was also some video work for another team which I only occasionally sent messages to inquire about. Sometimes I felt uneasy, but then thought, “There haven’t been any problems recently, so I’ll focus my time on the work that the upper leader is currently emphasizing, because if problems appear in these tasks, I’ll be directly responsible for them.” So I neglected to follow up on the details of the video work of this team until one day, the upper leader suddenly contacted us, saying that there were over ten videos piled up that hadn’t been processed, and he asked if we were aware of this. Upon hearing this, my heart pounded, and I thought, “I’m done for. This work was my direct responsibility. Isn’t this massive problem because of my neglecting my duties?” Afterward, the upper leader pruned me, saying, “Your issues were just addressed last time, and now you’re already being irresponsible again! When you were assigned to scriptwriting work, you only took care of that, and now when you are put in charge of experiential testimony videos, you’re only taking care of this. Do you really think that as a leader, you should only focus on your tasks and ignore the rest? You fear hardships, lack a sense of burden, and do not pursue the truth! How can someone like you be responsible for multiple tasks?” After that, I was relieved of some responsibilities. Being reassigned like this really upset me, and I thought, “I am so selfish, despicable, and lacking in humanity. Perhaps I really am beyond saving.” But afterward, I also felt somewhat aggrieved, thinking, “I really have been putting in effort lately, so why was I pruned again for being irresponsible? Have I really not changed at all?”

Once, some of God’s fellowship on the topic of doing one’s duties moved me deeply, and I finally began to gain some understanding of my issues. God says: “Tell Me, how should people do just deeds, and what state and condition must they do this in, in order for it to be considered preparing good deeds? At the very least, they must have a positive and proactive attitude, be loyal while doing their duty, be able to act according to the truth principles, and safeguard the interests of God’s house. Being positive and proactive is the key; if you are always passive, that is problematic. It’s as if you are not a member of God’s house and you are not doing your duty, as if instead you have no other choice but to do it to earn a salary under an employer’s requirement—not voluntarily, but very passively. If it weren’t for your interests being involved, you wouldn’t do it at all. Or if no one asked you to do it, you absolutely wouldn’t do it. Doing things with this approach, then, is not doing good deeds. So, people like this are very stupid; they are passive in everything they do. They don’t do what they can think of doing, nor do they do what they can accomplish with time and effort. They just wait and observe. This is troublesome and very pitiful. Why do I say that it is very pitiful? Firstly, it’s not that your caliber is inadequate; secondly, it’s not that your experience is insufficient; thirdly, it’s not that you don’t have the means to do it—you possess the caliber to do this work, and if you spent the time and effort, you could do it, but you do not, you do not prepare good deeds. This is very regrettable. Why do I say that it’s regrettable? If you look back on this after many years, you will feel regret, and even if you want to go back to that year, that month, and that day, to do that work, things will have changed and that time will have already passed. You will not get a second chance like that one; when that opportunity passes, it passes, when it is lost, it is lost. If you lose out on fleshly pleasures like eating nice food or wearing nice clothes, this doesn’t matter much, because these things are hollow, and they do not have any impact on your life entry or your preparation of good deeds, or on your destination. However, if something relates to God’s attitude toward and assessment of you, or even to the path you walk and your destination, then losing the opportunity to do it is very regrettable. This is because it will leave behind a stain and it will leave behind regrets on your future path of existence, and in your whole life you will never have another chance to make up for it. Isn’t this regrettable? If your caliber is too poor, and you cannot undertake this work, then that is not regrettable, God’s house can arrange for someone else to do it. If you are capable of doing this well, but you do not do it, that is extremely regrettable. This is an opportunity given to you by God, but you don’t take it seriously, you don’t seize hold of this opportunity, and you allow it to slip through your fingers—this is too regrettable! For you, it is regrettable; for God, it is disappointing. God has given you caliber and many superior conditions, allowing you to see through this matter and be competent for this work. However, you do not have the right attitude, you lack loyalty and sincerity, and you do not want to do your utmost to do it well. This greatly disappoints God. … Suppose that your attitude toward the truth and your duty is always perfunctory, and you make promises on the surface, but do not put them into practice behind the scenes, and you dillydally, and lack a sense of urgency and a positive attitude of being considerate of God’s intentions. Even though outwardly you don’t disrupt and disturb, do evil, act with wanton willfulness or commit reckless misdeeds, and you appear to be a guileless and quite well-behaved person, you aren’t able to positively and proactively do what God asks of you but instead you’re slippery and slack off, and avoid doing real work. In that case, just what path are you really walking? Even if it’s not the path of an antichrist, at the very least it’s the path of a false leader” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). After reading this passage of God’s words, I began to reflect on myself. Ever since I was last pruned by the upper leader, I knew that I had been irresponsible in my duties and wanted to repent as quickly as possible. At first, I worked late into the night every day, and my duties yielded some results, so I thought I had shown repentance, but later, if the work wasn’t focused on by the upper leadership, I found it troublesome and didn’t want to bother with it. I saw that the “initiative” and “proactivity” I displayed were deceitful and impure. Because I was afraid of being reassigned or dismissed after being pruned, to maintain my vanity and status, I endured hardship and expended myself for a while, but this behavior was just self-preservation at best. Just like what God says about a hired worker just doing what is required by their employer to earn wages, what they do is not from the heart. With this attitude, my performance of my duties couldn’t be considered good deeds. True performance of duties is proactive and contains a sense of burden. It involves loyalty to duties and seeking truth principles to ensure the work is done well. I reflected on my recent performance: When the leadership put me in charge of filming experiential testimony videos, I only focused on this job, but as for the rest of the work, so long as it didn’t involve my interests, my attitude was completely indifferent, and I treated other work as a burden and a nuisance. The issue of video backlog was a revelation to me, and I realized that I had not repented at all. What little good behavior I did show was only an effort to preserve my status and recover my reputation, and my attitude toward my duties still hadn’t changed. I only did the tasks assigned by the upper leadership and those related to my reputation and status. This was not true performance of duties. The truth is, being a leader requires one to take on more concerns than other brothers and sisters. If I didn’t want to be responsible, I should have actively told the upper leadership, and let others handle the role, rather than occupying a position without doing the actual work. This harmed God’s house. Wasn’t I just being a false leader in enjoying the benefits of a position without doing the actual work? I thought about how the upper leadership evaluated me as being “unworthy of trust or cultivation!” This was exactly what I was. I had disregarded the overall work of the church, and was indeed unworthy of trust. The work I was responsible for dwindled away bit by bit, and when I actually lost it, I truly regretted it. I thought that so long as I stuck to the work directly assigned to me by the leadership, I could maintain my status, but what I got in return was the loss of my duties and the loss of opportunities to prepare good deeds and gain truth. This was my greatest loss. If I continued with this attitude in my duties, I would surely be evaluated as being “consistently irresponsible and perfunctory” and my personal integrity would utterly be done for. In doing so, I was ruining my opportunity to do duties and ruining my chance at salvation!

Afterward, I often thought about this matter, feeling that I had been so selfish, only considering my own interests in my duties. I then recalled some relevant words of God, so I looked them up and read them. Almighty God says: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). I read this passage over and over again. God says that before people experience His work and come to understand the truth, various poisons and rules of survival are instilled by Satan and become people’s lives, and so people live out the image of Satan, and Satan’s nature controls people’s every word and action. I had been deeply corrupted by Satan, and very selfish my whole life. When family or friends asked for my help, I would gladly agree if I could benefit from it, or if the person was someone I wanted to please or get close to, I was also willing to help wholeheartedly. But if I couldn’t gain any benefit at all, I’d find it troublesome and not even want to bother with them. My dad would say to me, “Why are you so cold-hearted?” But I didn’t care about what he had to say, and I thought that this was just how people were! When doing my duties in the church, I still had my own agenda, and I’d only focus on tasks that would benefit me, rarely considering the church’s work. For example, when some brothers and sisters were in a bad state, if I was directly responsible for them, I would help with love, because this would help establish an image of me as a good leader in their eyes. But if they weren’t my direct responsibility, then even if I saw them living in corrupt dispositions, I would think that helping them would mean finding God’s words and spending energy, effort to ponder over it, so I would find it troublesome and not want to bother with it, or else I would just say a few superficial words in response. I thought I was being smart by doing this, but when I thought about it, what has selfishness brought me? In reality, following up on various tasks involves various truths on viewing things and people and various principles on handling problems, and by not participating in some jobs, I was unknowingly losing many opportunities to gain the truth. Additionally, God had graced me with the opportunity to do leadership duty, enabling me to learn to take on worries and to have burdens, and gradually restore my normal humanity. This was God’s salvation for me, but I had been unwilling to take on more responsibilities or concerns. I kept saying I was thankful to God and that I wanted to repay Him, but what I actually showed was deceit toward God. My humanity was truly lacking! If I still didn’t pursue change, when God’s work ends, my laboring would come to an end and I would be punished.

Later on, I read another passage of God’s word: “If you make a mistake and only say: ‘I really hate myself! How could I do such a base, vile thing? I really ought to give myself a slap on the face!’ just hating yourself, that won’t be of any use. The key thing is that, when you make a mistake, you must be able to discern what is wrong about it, what has driven you to do it, why you are unable to practice the truth, what the root cause is, and what the basis and principles of your actions are. Additionally, the key thing is, when faced with some matter, whether you are consciously acting according to God’s words and consciously rebelling against your satanic thoughts and views, your ambitions and desires, and your intentions and plans. If you have consciously done all these things, then you have prepared good deeds, and this is a great thing, and you have gained something. … Not doing evil is not equivalent to preparing good deeds. Not doing evil and preparing good deeds are two different concepts. Doing a duty without doing evil is what a created being is supposed to do; it is a manifestation that should be possessed by those who have the conscience and reason of normal humanity. For example, some people say: ‘There are people who kill others, but I haven’t done that; that person stole things from other people, but I haven’t done that. This means that I’m a good person.’ Is that worth boasting about? Is their assertion correct? (It’s not.) This is called confusing concepts. Not being a thief, not killing others, not committing arson, and not engaging in illicit sexual relations, isn’t the same as being a good person. Not committing evil or breaking the law is a different concept from being a good person. Being a good person has its own standards. Not doing evil and preparing good deeds are also two separate concepts. Doing your duty without doing evil is something you should achieve as a normal person. But preparing good deeds means that you must proactively and positively practice the truth and fulfill your duty according to God’s requirements and the truth principles. You must have loyalty, be willing to endure hardships and pay a price, be willing to take responsibility, and be able to act positively and proactively. Actions done according to these principles are basically all good deeds. Regardless of whether they are big or small matters, whether they are worthy of being remembered by people or not, whether they are esteemed by people or considered insignificant, or whether people think they are noteworthy, in God’s eyes, they are all good deeds. If you prepare good deeds, it will ultimately bring you blessings, not calamities. … So how are good deeds ultimately defined? It is when what you do is at the very least helpful for your own life entry and that of the brothers and sisters, and beneficial to the work of God’s house. If it is beneficial to yourself, to others, and to God’s house, then your performance is effective before God and approved by God. God will give you a score. So, evaluate how many good deeds you have prepared over the years. Can these good deeds offset your transgressions? After offsetting them, how many good deeds are left? You need to score yourself and know this in your heart; you mustn’t be confused about this matter” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). God’s words provided me with a path. Repentance cannot just be verbal. Just saying you hate yourself doesn’t mean there’s real change. The key is to observe what one actually lives out and their attitude toward their duty, especially in matters concerning the church’s work. Whether one turns a blind eye to problems and remains a bystander or upholds the church’s interests is what reflects a person’s character. In reading God’s fellowship on the difference between good deeds and evil deeds, I understood that not doing evil or causing disruptions and disturbances doesn’t make one a good person, and at most, one would be considered a guileless person. Good deeds include an element of initiative and a process of seeking the truth. They involve handling matters according to principles to align with God’s intentions. Such practice constitutes true good deeds. In the end, God determines people’s outcomes based on whether they have performed good deeds. In hindsight, most of my performance of duties after coming to believe in God had been for reputation and gain, and it was rare for me to proactively practice the truth. I didn’t actively expose or report false leaders or antichrists, and I hardly ever helped brothers and sisters solve their difficulties and problems. Most of the time, I just followed Satan’s rule of survival: “Let every man skin his own skunk.” As a church leader, I had been unwilling to do much of the work within my scope of responsibility, and my being a hands-off manager had delayed the work. These were evil deeds. Judging by the truth principles, I realized that over the years of believing in God, I had hardly prepared any good deeds, and that I had actually tallied up a lot of evil deeds. I felt I was in great danger, so I prayed to God, “God, although I have performed duties in God’s house over these years, I haven’t treated myself as a person of God’s house, and have hardly ever been proactive in upholding the church’s work. I have been too selfish and despicable! God, I want to repent. Please help and scrutinize me. I am willing to practice the truth to satisfy You.”

After that, I began to plan my time for my duties, and arranged my daily work reasonably and I would plan out the next day’s work before resting each night. This also helped me focus and accomplish more work, and I was also able to engage in other work as well. After practicing in this way for a while, I found that reasonable planning improved work efficiency and allowed me to do more work in a day. Sometimes when brothers and sisters from other teams came to me for help, I also took on these concerns, and I prayed to God in the process to accept His scrutiny. If I agreed to do something, I had to put my heart into it and couldn’t just go through the motions. Sometimes I still found it troublesome to follow up on other work, but when I realized this, I actively rebelled against myself, and tried to attend to the details of the work as best I could. I know my satanic nature is deeply rooted, and that these two instances of being pruned were not enough to resolve it, so I pray to God to scrutinize my heart, that He may chasten and discipline me when I am irresponsible in my duties, allowing me to live out normal humanity and be a person with conscience and humanity. I am also very grateful to God for these two instances of being pruned, which allowed me to realize the serious consequences of being irresponsible in my duties, and to awaken and change somewhat.