77. Is the View “A Kindness Received Should Be Gratefully Repaid” Correct?
In early 2017, my neighbor Li Lan preached Almighty God’s gospel of the last days to me. After a period of investigation, I confirmed God’s work and came to understand some truths. Especially when I saw that God incarnate in the last days works to cleanse people’s corrupt dispositions, and that as long as people genuinely pursue the truth, they can be saved and gain eternal life, I felt really happy and excited. I realized that this wasn’t something that could be bought with money or material goods, and I was truly grateful to Li Lan from the bottom of my heart. I remember that when I first accepted God’s work in the last days, I was constrained from gathering because I was being persecuted by my husband, and my state was very negative, and it was Li Lan’s love and patience that helped and supported me time and again, preventing me from falling. Gradually, I came to understand some truths and gained faith. I was no longer constrained by my husband and could gather and do my duties normally. When I went to do my duties, Li Lan would help take care of my children and manage the household chores. I often thought, “My being able to believe in God and to do my duties with ease without being constrained by my husband is all thanks to Li Lan’s help. Li Lan is my great benefactor and she’s the one person I’ll never forget. I must find a chance to repay her in the future.”
One day in October 2021, the leader said to me, “Li Lan only talks about household matters during gatherings, and this disturbs the brothers and sisters and prevents them from focusing on contemplating and fellowshipping God’s words. We have fellowshipped with her and pointed out her behavior multiple times, and she’s verbally accepted it, but as soon as she comes back to the next gathering, she does exactly the same thing. Her behavior as a disbeliever is quite serious, and the church is collecting evaluations from the brothers and sisters about her. Since your houses are close and you have interacted with her for many years, please write an evaluation of her.” Hearing the leader say this, I felt a tightness in my heart. I did know Li Lan’s situation quite well; our houses were close, and she often came to my house. When we read God’s words and fellowshipped our states together, I found that her thoughts weren’t on God’s words at all, and that she often talked about trivial family matters, one moment talking about how her husband didn’t care for her, and the next talking about how her son was disobedient. I’d fellowship with her to accept it from God and seek the truth to learn lessons, but she just never took these things on board, and when we met again, she’d still talk about the same things, and this really annoyed me. Moreover, she never put her heart into her duties, and she was always careless in her work of general affairs. I’d corrected and exposed her many times regarding her performance in her duties, but she’d just accept it verbally and then just carry on the same way. Now she was also disturbing brothers and sisters, making it hard for them to have peaceful gatherings, and despite multiple pointers and help, she still couldn’t take this advice on board. I saw that Li Lan didn’t accept the truth at all and constantly disrupted and disturbed church life, and it was clear that she wasn’t suited to stay in the church. But I thought that if I exposed her behavior, Li Lan would have to be cleared out as a disbeliever, and I felt very upset at this idea. I reflected on the fact that I had been able to accept God’s work in the last days and had the opportunity to pursue the truth and be saved, all thanks to Li Lan for preaching the gospel to me. And during my times of negativity and weakness, it was Li Lan who’d continually helped and supported me. Moreover, when I was out doing my duties, Li Lan would often help me look after my children and manage household chores. As the saying goes, “The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid with a gushing spring,” and what’s more, Li Lan had helped me so much, so if I exposed her behavior as a disbeliever, wouldn’t that show I lacked conscience? With this in mind, I tactfully said to the leader, “Over the last two years, I haven’t been gathering with Li Lan and so I don’t really know her that well.” I also defended Li Lan, saying, “Li Lan is enthusiastic, and even though her family persecutes her, she really wants to do her duties.” The leader said, “A sister who has interacted with Li Lan on two occasions found that she disturbs church life, and she has discernment toward her. Logically, you should know her better, do you really not have any discernment about her?” Realizing my lie had been exposed, I felt a bit ashamed, but when I thought of how good Li Lan had been to me, I still didn’t want to write an evaluation of her. After the leader left, I felt uneasy, as if a heavy stone were weighing my heart. One day, my daughter came back from a gathering and said to me, “During the gathering, Li Lan kept talking about household matters, and it was impossible for us to have a proper gathering, and despite the brothers and sisters fellowshipping with her and exposing her multiple times, she still hasn’t changed. Everyone’s said that they don’t want to gather with her anymore.” Hearing my daughter say this, I knew that Li Lan was still disturbing the church life, and I felt really guilty, thinking, “If I were to expose Li Lan’s behavior, Li Lan may be cleared out from the church sooner, and the brothers and sisters would be disturbed less. But if I report her to the leader, would Li Lan accuse me of being ungrateful and lacking in conscience when she finds out? How would I face her?” With these thoughts in mind, I felt very conflicted, and in the end, I still didn’t provide an evaluation of Li Lan.
A while later, a sister who was doing cleansing work came to a gathering with us, and suddenly asked me if I knew about Li Lan. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought, “Why is the sister suddenly asking about Li Lan? How should I respond? If I say I know about her, the sister will have to ask me in detail about Li Lan’s behavior, and if I speak honestly, it’s very likely that Li Lan will be cleared out. I could just say I don’t know, but I’ve already told one lie. If I lie again, wouldn’t I become a truly brazen liar?” I felt very conflicted, so I urgently prayed to God, “God! This sister’s question must have been permitted by You, please grant me the strength to practice the truth.” After praying, I recalled a passage of God’s words: “All of you say you are considerate of God’s burden and will defend the testimony of the church, but who among you has really been considerate of God’s burden? Ask yourself: Are you someone who has shown consideration for His burden? Can you practice righteousness for Him? Can you stand up and speak for Me? Can you steadfastly put the truth into practice? Are you bold enough to fight against all of Satan’s deeds? Would you be able to set your feelings aside and expose Satan for the sake of My truth? Can you allow My intentions to be satisfied in you? Have you offered up your heart in the most crucial of moments? Are you someone who follows My will? Ask yourself these questions, and think about them often” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 13). God’s every question pierced my heart. God hopes that I can consider His burden and safeguard the interests of the church, and that I can promptly expose and report any person that is causing disturbances to church life. I’d been in frequent contact with Li Lan and was very clear on her actions. She’d consistently refused to accept the truth, and during gatherings, she’d bring up family matters and disturb people from peacefully eating and drinking God’s words. Despite multiple rounds of fellowship and corrections, she still hadn’t repented, and this had severely disturbed church life. I should practice the truth to safeguard the interests of the church, provide the details of the situation I understood truthfully, and cleanse Li Lan from the church in a timely manner, so that the brothers and sisters could have a peaceful environment in which to live church life. This would be considerate of God’s intention and His burden. So I truthfully told the sister about Li Lan’s consistent behavior, and the sister noted down everything I told her, one detail at a time. After telling her these things, I felt at peace and at ease in my heart. Not long after, Li Lan was cleared out from the church, and the brothers and sisters were no longer disturbed during gatherings.
But afterward, I still felt indebted to Li Lan. Later, when I mentioned this to a sister, she fellowshipped with me, “Your constant feelings of indebtedness to Li Lan are mainly due to the influence of a view that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid.” The sister provided me with two passages of God’s words: “The idea that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid is one of the classic criteria in Chinese traditional culture for judging whether a person’s conduct is moral or immoral. When evaluating whether someone’s humanity is good or bad, and how moral their conduct is, one of the benchmarks is whether they return the favors or help that they receive—whether or not they are someone who gratefully repays the kindness they receive. Within Chinese traditional culture, and within the traditional culture of mankind, people treat this as an important measure of moral conduct. If someone does not understand that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid, and they are ungrateful, then they are considered to be devoid of conscience and unworthy of associating with, and should be despised, spurned or rejected by all. On the other hand, if someone does understand that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid—if they are grateful and return the favors and help they receive with every means at their disposal—they are deemed a person of conscience and humanity. If somebody receives benefits or help from another person, but does not repay them, or just expresses a little gratitude to them with a simple ‘thank you’ and nothing more, what will the other person think? Might they feel uneasy about it? Might they think, ‘That guy doesn’t deserve to be helped, he’s not a good person. If that’s how he responds when I’ve helped him so much, then he has no conscience or humanity, and isn’t worth associating with’? If they ran into this kind of person again, would they still help them? They wouldn’t wish to, at least” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). “From ancient times up until the present day, countless people have been influenced by this idea, view, and criterion of moral conduct regarding the repayment of kindness. Even when the person who bestows kindness on them is an evil or bad person and compels them to do nefarious acts and bad deeds, they still go against their own conscience and reason, blindly complying in order to repay their kindness, with many disastrous consequences. It could be said that many people, having been influenced, fettered, constrained, and bound by this criterion of moral conduct, blindly and mistakenly uphold this view of repaying kindness, and are even likely to aid and abet evil people. Now that you have heard My fellowship, you have a clear picture of this situation and can determine that this is foolish loyalty, and that this behavior counts as comporting oneself without setting any limits, and recklessly repaying kindness without any discernment, and that it lacks meaning and value. Because people fear being castigated by public opinion or condemned by others, they reluctantly devote their lives to repaying the kindness of others, even sacrificing their lives in the process, which is a fallacious and foolish way to go about things. This saying from traditional culture has not only fettered people’s thinking, but it has also placed an unnecessary weight and inconvenience upon their life and saddled their families with additional suffering and burdens. Many people have paid great prices in order to repay kindness received—they view repaying kindness as a social responsibility or their own duty and may even spend their whole lives repaying the kindness of others. They believe this to be a perfectly natural and justified thing to do, an unshirkable duty. Is this viewpoint and way of doing things not foolish and absurd? It completely reveals how ignorant and unenlightened people are. In any event, this saying about moral conduct—a kindness received should be gratefully repaid—may be in keeping with people’s notions, but it does not accord with the truth principles. It is incompatible with God’s words and is an incorrect view and way of doing things” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). From God’s words, I understood that my reluctance to provide details on Li Lan’s behavior was due to the bondage and constraints of the view of being grateful and repaying kindness. Since childhood, my parents had often taught me to be grateful and repay kindness. I came to believe that if someone did me a favor, I had to find a way to repay them, and if I couldn’t do this, then people would criticize me behind my back and call me ungrateful. So I took being grateful and repaying kindness as a principle of comportment. I took this attitude out into the world, repaying anyone who was kind to me in double, and my neighbors all liked to interact with me, which made me believe even more that acting like this made me a person with conscience and humanity. After finding God, I still lived by these traditional ideas, and because Li Lan had preached God’s gospel of the last days to me, supported and helped me when I was weak and negative, and also took care of my children and household chores, I was really grateful to Li Lan. I felt that my being able to do duties normally until this point had been due to Li Lan’s fellowship and help. I felt that she was the one person I could never forget. In reality, through my regular interactions with Li Lan, I had already come to notice that she always just fixated on people and events, that she didn’t accept things from God or learn lessons at all, and that she didn’t put her heart into her duties. When eating and drinking God’s words with her, she only talked about trivial family matters, and this made everyone feel troubled and distracted. Her behavior showed that she was a disbeliever, and according to the principles, she was to be cleared out. I should have promptly reported Li Lan’s behavior to the leaders and had her cleared out from the church. But in order to repay Li Lan’s kindness and to avoid being called ungrateful, I not only failed to report her behavior but also sheltered and indulged her, wanting to have her stay on in the church. Was I not protecting a disbeliever? I was doing evil and opposing God! The church is where God’s chosen people worship Him, and it is a place for the brothers and sisters to fellowship God’s words. But because of Li Lan’s disturbances, brothers and sisters couldn’t settle down to ponder God’s words. And in order to repay Li Lan’s so-called kindness to me, I didn’t expose her. In what way did I have any conscience or humanity? I truly couldn’t distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong. I had truly made God loathe me! Realizing this, I was filled with regret and guilt, so I prayed to God, “God, I see that I am tightly bound by this traditional view of being grateful and repaying kindness, and I have become unable to distinguish right from wrong or good from evil. God! I wish to repent to You.”
Later, I read two passages of God’s words: “The traditional cultural concept that ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’ needs to be discerned. The most important part is the word ‘kindness’—how should you view this kindness? What aspect and nature of kindness is it referring to? What is the significance of ‘A kindness received should be gratefully repaid’? People must figure out the answers to these questions and under no circumstances be constrained by this idea of repaying kindness—for anyone who pursues the truth, this is absolutely essential. What is ‘kindness’ according to human notions? On a smaller level, kindness is someone helping you out when you are in trouble. For example, somebody giving you a bowl of rice when you are starving, or a bottle of water when you’re dying of thirst, or helping you up when you fall down and can’t get up. These are all acts of kindness. A great act of kindness is someone rescuing you when you’re in desperate straits—that is a life-saving kindness. When you are in mortal danger and someone helps you to avoid death, they are essentially saving your life. These are some of the things that people perceive as ‘kindness.’ This sort of kindness far surpasses any petty, material favor—it is a great kindness that cannot be measured in terms of money or material things. Those who receive it feel a kind of gratitude that is impossible to express with just a few words of thanks. Is it accurate, though, for people to measure kindness in this way? (It is not.) Why do you say that it is not accurate? (Because this measurement is based on the standards of traditional culture.) This is an answer based in theory and doctrine, and while it may seem right, it does not get to the essence of the matter. So, how can one explain this in practical terms? Think about it carefully. A while ago, I heard about a video online in which a man drops his wallet without realizing it. The wallet gets picked up by a small dog who chases after him, and when the man sees this, he beats the dog for stealing his wallet. Absurd, isn’t it? The man has less morals than the dog! The dog’s actions were in complete accordance with human standards of morality. A human would have called out ‘You dropped your wallet!’ But because the dog couldn’t speak, it just silently picked up the wallet and trotted after the man. So, if a dog can carry out some of the good behaviors encouraged by traditional culture, what does that say about humans? Humans are born with conscience and reason, so they’re all the more capable of doing these things. As long as someone has the sense of their conscience, they can fulfill these kinds of responsibilities and obligations. It is not necessary to put in hard work or pay a price, it requires little effort and is simply a matter of doing something helpful, something of benefit to others. But does the nature of this act really qualify as ‘kindness’? Does it rise to the level of an act of kindness? (It doesn’t.) Since it does not, do people need to talk of repaying it? That would be unnecessary” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). “At times, God will use Satan’s services to help people, but we must be sure to thank God in such cases and not repay kindness to Satan—this is a question of principle. When temptation comes in the form of an evil person bestowing kindness, you must first be clear about exactly who is helping you out and providing assistance, what your own situation is, and whether there are other paths you can take. You must deal with such cases in a flexible way. If God wants to save you, no matter whose services He uses to accomplish it, you should first thank God and accept it from God. You should not direct your gratitude solely toward people, to say nothing of offering up your life to someone in gratitude. This is a grave mistake. The crucial thing is that your heart is grateful to God, and you accept it from Him” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). From God’s words, I came to understand how to view people’s kindness. In the church, when people are negative, weak, or face difficulties, brothers and sisters fellowship the truth to help and support each other. This is the responsibility of all of God’s chosen people, and it is God’s requirement upon His chosen people. When I was persecuted by my husband, Li Lan was able to fellowship the truth and help me. This was her responsibility and couldn’t be considered a kindness. I also understood that in regard to my being able to hear God’s voice and accept God’s work of the last days, it seemed that Li Lan preached the gospel to me, but behind it all was God’s sovereignty and ordination, so I should have been thanking God for His grace. After finding God, I didn’t stumble because of my husband’s persecution, and I was still able to persist in my duties. This wasn’t the achievement of any person, but rather the result of the watering and nourishment of God’s words. But I didn’t accept it from God and didn’t thank Him, and instead expressed gratitude to a person. I was being so ungrateful and rebelling against God!
In my seeking, I read another passage of God’s words which taught me how to treat those who have helped me. Almighty God says: “Consider, also, this situation: Someone helped you in the past, was kind to you in certain ways and had an impact on your life or some major event, but their humanity and the path they walk are not in line with your own path and what you seek. You do not speak a common language, you do not like this person and, perhaps, on some level you could say that your interests and what you seek are completely different. Your paths in life, your worldviews, and your outlooks on life are all different—you are two completely different kinds of people. So, how should you approach and respond to the help that they previously gave you? Is this a realistic situation that may arise? (Yes.) So, what should you do? This is also an easy situation to deal with. Given that the two of you are walking different paths, after providing them with whatever material reimbursement you can afford given your means, you find that your beliefs are just too divergent, you cannot walk on the same path, cannot even be friends and can no longer interact. How should you proceed, given that you can no longer interact? Keep your distance from them. They might have been kind to you in the past, but they swindle and cheat their way through society, perpetrating all kinds of nefarious deeds and you do not like this person, so it is entirely reasonable to keep your distance from them. Some may say, ‘Isn’t that lacking in conscience to act in that way?’ This is not lacking in conscience—if they were really to encounter some difficulty in their life, you could still help them out, but you cannot be constrained by them or go along with them in doing evil and unconscionable deeds. There is also no need to slave away for them just because they helped you or did a big favor for you in the past—that is not your obligation and they are not worthy of that kind of treatment. You are entitled to choose to interact with, spend time with, and even become friends with people whom you like and get along with, people who are correct. You can fulfill your responsibility and obligation to this person, this is your right. Of course, you can also refuse to become friends with and have dealings with people that you do not like, and you need not fulfill any obligation or responsibility to them—this is also your right. Even if you decide to abandon this person and refuse to interact with them or fulfill any responsibility or obligation to them, this would not be wrong. You must set certain limits on the way you comport yourself, and treat different people in different ways. You should not associate with evil people or follow their bad example, this is the wise choice. Do not be influenced by various factors such as gratitude, feelings, and public opinion—this is taking a stance and having principles, and is what you ought to do” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, my heart felt much brighter. One must have a standpoint and principles in their comportment, and for those who have helped us, we need to consider the path they are on. If they are on the right path, we should be tolerant and patient when their actions don’t align with the truth principles and help them by fellowshipping the truth. But if they are on the path of resisting God, we must expose and report them, and if they don’t repent, we must distance ourselves from them and reject them. Just like Li Lan once helped me, if she encountered difficulties in life, I could certainly offer her some material assistance, but now that she was disturbing church life and was on the path of resisting God, I couldn’t associate with her in her wrongdoing. I had to expose her and protect the interests of the church. This is distinguishing right from wrong and acting with principles.
It is the judgment and exposure of God’s words that allowed me to promptly correct my wrong views and no longer be constrained by the traditional view that a kindness received should be gratefully repaid, and to understand only by viewing people and things according to God’s words can we align with His intentions. Thank God!