By Ruonan, China

In August 2023, Sister Xu Xin and I were chosen as supervisors for gospel work. Xu Xin was put in charge of the Chengbei Church, and I was put in charge of the Chengnan Church. The gospel work in the Chengnan Church was not very effective. A few years ago, I was responsible for the gospel work in this church, and the results were never very good, so when I was assigned to this church again, I felt somewhat reluctant. But then I thought, “A few years have passed, so perhaps the effectiveness of the work has improved somewhat by now.” So, I began to immerse myself in the frantic work.

Before long, it was time to summarize the work. I saw that the results were still not good, that the gospel workers didn’t grasp principles, their understanding of the truths for preaching the gospel wasn’t very clear, and that there had also been no progress in cultivating gospel workers or waterers. After the leader learned of the situation, she wrote to us, fellowshipping and pointing out our issues, reminding us that if the work wasn’t effective, we should reflect on whether we were doing real work. She also mentioned that the Chengbei Church’s results were better and advised me to seek and learn from them. After reading the letter, I thought to myself, “Xu Xin and I were assigned to supervise the gospel work at the same time, but Xu Xin was lucky to be assigned to a church with better results, while I was assigned to a church with poorer results. I’ve just started and so many problems have already been pointed out. What bad luck! If the results continue to be bad, the supervisor would say I’m not capable of doing work. That would be so embarrassing! I’ve really got no luck!” During that time, the results of the gospel work in our church remained poor and some people who were looking into the true way even had notions after being influenced by baseless rumors and didn’t dare to investigate. Some gospel workers didn’t fellowship clearly on questions raised by potential gospel recipients, so they wrote to me for help, and I replied to each of them, but there was still no noticeable improvement in the work. This made me believe even more that I had bad luck, and I thought, “How did I end up saddled with such a church? What will the supervisor think of me? Will she say I don’t do real work and am lazy in my duty?” The more I thought about it, the more despondent I became. I was filled with negative emotions and lost interest in everything I did. One day, I noticed that one gospel worker was in a bad state and it was affecting his performance in the duty, but I didn’t want to bother with it, thinking, “Since my luck is bad, no matter how hard I work, the results will still be the same.” So I didn’t resolve the issue through timely fellowship. When someone wrote to me with work-related questions, I wouldn’t reply for several days, and I was unwilling to seek or think over problems that arose in the work. By the end of each day, I’d feel empty inside and as if my heart had drifted far from God. I didn’t even know what to say in prayer. I knew that it would be dangerous if I didn’t resolve this state, so I consciously sought the truth to solve my problems.

One day during my devotionals, I came across a passage of God’s words that perfectly matched my state. God says: “What is the problem with people who always think that they are unlucky? They always use the standard of luck to measure whether their actions are right or wrong, and to weigh up which path they should take, the things that they should experience, and any problems that they face. Is that right or wrong? (Wrong.) They describe bad things as unlucky and good things as lucky or advantageous. Is this perspective right or wrong? (Wrong.) Measuring things from this kind of perspective is wrong. It is an extreme and incorrect method and standard for measuring things. This kind of method often leads people to sink into depression, and it often makes them feel uneasy, and that nothing ever goes their way, and that they never get what they want, which eventually leads them to feel constantly anxious, irritable, and uneasy. When these negative emotions go unresolved, these people constantly sink into depression and feel that God does not favor them. They think that God treats others with grace but not them, and that God takes care of others but not them. ‘Why do I always feel uneasy and anxious? Why do bad things always happen to me? Why do good things never come my way? Just once is all I’m asking for!’ When you view things with this kind of erroneous way of thinking and perspective, you will fall into the trap of good and bad luck. When you are continually falling into this trap, you will constantly feel depressed. In the midst of this depression, you will be particularly sensitive to whether the things that befall you are lucky or unlucky. When this happens, it proves that this perspective and idea of good and bad luck has taken control of you. When you are controlled by this kind of perspective, your views and attitude toward people, events, and things are no longer within the range of the conscience and reason of normal humanity, but have fallen into a sort of extreme. When you fall into this extreme, you will not emerge from your depression. You will keep getting depressed time and time again, and even if you do not normally feel depressed, as soon as something goes wrong, as soon as you feel that something unlucky has happened, you will immediately sink into depression. This depression will affect your normal judgment and decision-making, and even your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. When it affects your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy, it will disturb and destroy the performance of your duty, as well as your will and desire to follow God. When these positive things are destroyed, the few truths you have come to understand will vanish into thin air and be of no help to you at all. That is why, when you fall into this vicious cycle, it will be hard for you to put the few truth principles that you understand into practice. It is only when you feel that your luck is in, when you are not suppressed by depression that you can reluctantly pay a bit of a price, suffer a little hardship, and show a sliver of sincerity while doing the things you are willing to do. As soon as you feel that luck has deserted you and that unfortunate things are happening to you again, your depression soon takes control of you again, and your sincerity, loyalty, and will to endure hardship immediately leave you. Therefore, people who think that they are unlucky or who take luck very seriously are just like those people who think that their fates are bad. They often have very extreme emotions—in particular, they frequently slip into negative emotions such as depression. They are particularly negative and weak, and they are even prone to mood swings. When they feel lucky, they’re filled with joy, replete with energy, and they can endure hardships and pay a price; they can sleep less at night, and eat less food during the day, they’re willing to suffer any hardship, and if they get momentarily excited, they’re happy to offer up their lives. However, the moment they feel that they’ve been unlucky recently, when nothing seems to go right for them at all, the emotion of depression immediately seizes their heart. The vows and the resolutions they made before are all negated; suddenly they’re like a deflated ball, unable to muster up any energy, or like a puddle of mush, unwilling to do anything or say anything at all. They think, ‘The truth principles, pursuing the truth, attaining salvation, submitting to God—none of these has anything to do with me. I’m unlucky and it’s no use no matter how many truths I practice or how much of a price I pay, I’ll never attain salvation. I’m done. I’m like an unlucky charm, an unfortunate individual. Well, so be it, I’m unlucky in any case!’ See, one minute they’re like a ball that’s so full of air that it’s about to burst, and the next minute they’re deflated. Isn’t this troublesome? How does this trouble come about? What is the root cause? They’re always watching their own fortunes, as though they’re watching the stock market, to see whether it’s going up or down, whether it’s a bull market or a bear market. They’re always neurotic, incredibly sensitive to the matter of their luck, and incredibly stubborn. This kind of extreme person will often become mired in the emotion of depression because they care too much about their own fortune and they live based on their moods” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). From God’s words, I understood that my state of despondency was because I always used wrong views like luck and misfortune to judge the environments God arranged for me. I always thought that doing a duty that was without pressure or difficulties, where I wouldn’t have to suffer or pay a price, and could even receive admiration and praise from others, meant I had good luck. If my duty always involved difficulties, work yielded no results, or I was pruned, I would consider this to be misfortune, live in despondent emotions and lose motivation to do my duty. My work was ineffective, and the leader provided guidance and help and advised us to learn from the church with better results. This was a good thing, as it could encourage me to reflect and understand myself, and to summarize the issues and deviations in my work and correct them in a timely manner. This would benefit both my life entry and the church’s work. But because these ineffective results affected my reputation and status, I thought this was all due to my bad luck. I saw that the church Xu Xin was in charge of had good results and she received the leader’s regard and recognition, so I felt very envious, thinking she was lucky. Then I’d look at the poor results of the gospel work in the church I was responsible for and I’d feel even more convinced that I was unlucky. I always used this erroneous view of good and bad luck to view the environments God arranged for me, and when facing undesirable situations, I would complain, thinking that God favored Xu Xin and was not gracing me, and I’d live in negative emotions and become passive and resistant. Nonbelievers, who do not believe in God or understand the truth, always use luck and misfortune to judge everything that happens to them. They feel lucky when they achieve fame, gain, wealth, or promotions, and complain about the unfairness of Heaven or blame others when things don’t go well. But as a believer in God, I clearly knew that everything that happens to me, whether it seems good or bad from a human perspective, is ruled over and arranged by God and contains lessons I need to learn, but I did not accept this from God. Instead, I used the viewpoint of nonbelievers to judge the environments God arranged for me. This was truly absurd; these were the views of a disbeliever! Realizing this, I felt deeply ashamed, and I wanted to seek the truth to correct this incorrect viewpoint.

Later, I read these passages from God’s words: “Returning to the subject of good luck and bad luck, now everyone knows that this saying of luck does not hold water, and that it is neither good nor bad. The people, events, and things that you encounter, whether good or bad, are all determined by God’s sovereignty and arrangements, so you should face them properly. Accept what is good from God, and accept what is bad from God as well. Do not say that you’re lucky when good things happen, and that you’re unlucky when bad things happen. It can only be said that there are lessons for people to learn within all these things, and they should not reject or avoid them. Thank God for the good things, but also thank God for the bad things, because all of them are arranged by Him. Good people, events, things, and environments provide lessons that they should learn, but there is even more to be learned from bad people, events, things, and environments. These are all experiences and episodes that should be part of one’s life. People should not use the idea of luck to measure them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). “If you give up on the idea of how lucky or unlucky you are, and treat these things calmly and correctly, you will find that most things are not so unfavorable or difficult to deal with. When you let go of your ambitions and desires, when you stop rejecting or avoiding whatever misfortune befalls you, and you stop measuring such things by how lucky or unlucky you are, many of the things that you used to see as unfortunate and bad, you will now think of as good—the bad things will turn into good things. Your mentality and the way that you view things will change, which will enable you to feel differently about your life experiences, and at the same time reap different rewards. This is an extraordinary experience, one which will bring you unimagined rewards. It is a good thing, not a bad thing” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). From God’s words, I understood that everything that happens to me, whether it appears good or bad from a human perspective, is under God’s sovereignty and has God’s intention behind it. I should accept things from God and submit, seeking the truth and learning lessons. This is the attitude and practice I should have. I thought of Joseph, who was sold into slavery in Egypt by his brothers and endured many hardships. Although this didn’t seem like a good thing, Joseph eventually became the chief administrator of Egypt. During the famine, Joseph escaped the suffering of hunger, and was under God’s care and protection. Later, Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt to buy grain, and their whole family moved to Egypt, and their descendants lived there for four hundred years. This made me see that some things that seem unfortunate from a human perspective are not necessarily bad and that all these things have God’s goodwill in them. Just like this time when I was assigned to supervise the Chengnan Church, on one hand, it was based on the needs of the work, as I was more familiar with the personnel of this church, and had more experience in gospel work than Xu Xin, so this arrangement would benefit the church’s work, and on the other hand, it was necessary for my life entry. I was someone who loved to indulge in physical comfort and was not good at seeking the truth when facing issues, and the church I was responsible for had many problems and difficulties, which required me to exert effort, seek, reflect, and communicate and summarize things more. Doing this would allow me to avoid living in the flesh and becoming complacent. God arranged this environment according to my fatal flaws; this was His salvation for me! I also thought about how several years ago I had been responsible for this church, and at that time, I didn’t do real work. When I saw that the brothers and sisters had poor results in their duties, I only disdained and judged them, without providing any help for their life entry. I had left regrets and debts in my wake, and was now being given the chance to be responsible for their work again. This was an opportunity for me to make up for my past transgressions, and I had to correct my attitude toward my duty in a timely manner, cooperate as much as possible, and not leave any regrets in my wake. At that moment, I felt that God’s giving me the chance to supervise this church was necessary for my life, showed God’s good intentions, and that I could no longer view things from the perspective of nonbelievers or resist the environments God arranged. The truth is, no matter what environment God arranges, it is necessary for our life, and there is no such thing as good or bad luck. When I stopped judging people, events and things based on luck and instead viewed them according to God’s words, I felt relieved and no longer lived in negative emotions.

I also wondered why I always thought that encountering undesirable situations meant I was unlucky, and kept hoping for good things to happen to me, and I wondered what corrupt disposition this was driven by. During my devotionals, I read God’s words: “So, what are the thoughts and perspectives of people who use luck to measure whether things are good or bad? What is the essence of such people? Why do they pay so much attention to good luck and bad luck? Do people who focus a lot on luck hope that their luck is good, or do they hope that it is bad? (They hope that it is good.) That is right. In fact, they pursue good luck and for good things to happen to them, and they just take advantage of them and profit from them. They do not care how much others suffer, or how many hardships or difficulties others have to endure. They do not want anything that they perceive as unlucky to happen to them. In other words, they do not want any bad things to happen to them: no setbacks, no failures or embarrassments, no being pruned, no losing things, no losing out, and no being deceived. If any of that happens, they regard it as bad luck. No matter who arranges it, if bad things happen, it is unlucky. They hope that all good things—from being promoted, standing out from the crowd, and benefiting at others’ expense, to profiting from something, making lots of money, or becoming a high-ranking official—happen to them, and they think that is good luck. They always measure the people, events, and things that they encounter based on luck. They are pursuing good luck, not bad luck. As soon as the slightest thing goes wrong, they get angry, annoyed, and dissatisfied. To put it bluntly, these types of people are selfish. They pursue benefiting themselves at other people’s expense, making a profit for themselves, coming out on top, and standing out from the crowd. They would be satisfied if every good thing happened to them alone. This is their nature essence; it is their true face” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). From God’s words, I understood that people who constantly complain about their bad luck are selfish and self-interested individuals. Such people always want good things to happen to them, for everything to go smoothly, to achieve career success, stand out, and attain glory, and to not face any setbacks or failures. Even in their duty in the house of God, they want to enjoy results without putting in effort, and they are unwilling to suffer or pay the price required to do their duties, and are reluctant to be pruned. They start to complain as soon as they experience any loss of face or slight dissatisfaction. Reflecting on myself, I realized I was like this. Whenever I encountered difficulties in my duties, or faced setbacks, or failures, or being pruned, I complained about the environment God had arranged for me, always wanting to gain name and gain without worrying or enduring hardships, and to live in comfort. The Chengnan Church I was responsible for had many issues, and the work lacked effectiveness and we often ended up being pruned, so I thought there was no benefit in being responsible for such a church, and that no matter how much I did every day, others wouldn’t see it, and so I felt a sense of grievance, and became negative and slacked off. I saw the states of the brothers and sisters had worsened and were affecting their duties, but I didn’t care, and I was unwilling to address problems in the work. I relied on satanic philosophies like “Never lift a finger without a reward” and “Nobody works for nothing,” and became a selfish, self-interested, despicable, and mean person. Thinking of how the church had cultivated me to be a supervisor and given me many opportunities to train, and was now assigning me to supervise a church with poor gospel work results, I should have considered God’s intention and actively involved myself in my duty to solve problems and difficulties in the work. But instead, I complained out of fear of physical suffering and loss of face, failing to do my own duties. I hadn’t been doing my duties to satisfy God, but to pursue physical enjoyment, fame, and status. I had been so selfish and despicable! Realizing this, I felt deeply guilty, and I no longer wanted to pursue my own interests. I wanted to consider God’s intention and rely on Him in fulfilling my responsibilities. Later on, when I saw gospel workers facing difficulties and issues, or lacking understanding of gospel principles, I no longer complained but wrote letters to communicate repeatedly, and when I saw their states were poor, I fellowshipped God’s words to help and support them. When I practiced like this, I felt that each day was fulfilling, and that I was making gains.

One day, I received a letter from a gospel worker at the Chengnan Church, saying that her partner, Sister Jing’an, had resigned because she felt her caliber wasn’t up to the task of her duties. A few days later, I received another letter from a team leader saying that Sister Wei Zhen’s state was also poor, and that she was living in a corrupt disposition and unwilling to evangelize. The team leader also said, “I am also living in difficulty and don’t know how to cooperate….” Seeing these issues, I felt really frustrated, thinking, “Why do you people have so many problems? What you lack in work results you make up for in the number of problems you have. One day one of you resigns, and the next another has a poor state. Just solving your states takes a lot of effort. How am I supposed to find time to evangelize? That’s not even mentioning the physical suffering, and most importantly, what will the supervisor think of me if the work is ineffective? This church has so many problems; I really have no luck!” I realized my state was wrong, so I looked up God’s words on this. I read God’s words: “Is it easy to get out of this depression? In fact, it is easy. Just let go of your erroneous perspectives, do not expect everything to go well, or exactly the way you want it to, or smoothly. Do not fear, resist, or reject things that go wrong. Instead, let go of your resistance, calm down, and come before God with an attitude of submission, and accept all that God arranges. Do not pursue so-called ‘good luck,’ and do not reject so-called ‘bad luck.’ Give your heart and your whole being to God, let Him do the acting and orchestrating, and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. God will give you what you need in just measure when you need it. He will orchestrate the environments, people, events, and things that you require, according to your needs and deficiencies, so that you can learn the lessons that you ought to be learning from the people, events, and things that you come across. Of course, the prerequisite to all this is that you must have a mentality of submission toward God’s orchestrations and arrangements. So, do not pursue perfection; do not reject or fear the occurrence of undesirable, embarrassing, or unfavorable things; and do not use your depression to inwardly resist the occurrence of bad things” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). From God’s words, I understood that there is God’s goodwill in these situations. I should start by submitting and seeking God’s intention, and not react by resisting, complaining, or grumbling as soon as something encroaches on my reputation or physical interests, living in negative emotions. This is not the attitude I should have toward my duties. At that time, three sisters were negative and weak, living in corrupt dispositions and unable to come out of it, which was very painful, and if this wasn’t resolved in good time through fellowship, it would not only affect the gospel work but also delay their life entry. I shouldn’t have been disdainful toward them, but should have been fellowshipping and helping them with love, fulfilling my responsibility. So I quickly wrote to them, sharing my experiences and fellowshipping with them, helping them understand God’s intentions and stop living in difficulties. I also shared my experiences and gains in evangelism. A few days later, I received a letter, saying that their states had improved through eating and drinking God’s words, and that they were able to do their duties normally again. Seeing such results, I felt a great sense of ease and my faith was strengthened. Everything is in God’s hands, and no matter what difficulties or setbacks God arranges for me, I should rely on Him to experience them, and seek the truth and enter into it in all things. This is the attitude I should have toward my duties. I couldn’t have attained these gains and this understanding in a state of comfort!

After this experience, I realized that judging things by luck or misfortune is truly absurd! At the same time, I also realized that the environment God arranges for me each day, regardless of whether I perceive it as good or contrary to my wishes, always contains lessons for me to learn. These are all necessary for my life entry, and there is God’s goodwill in them. I should work hard to pursue the truth and to reach the point where I view people and things by the standard of God’s words, and enter into the reality of God’s words as soon as possible.