By Nana, China

In 2020, I was cooperating with two sisters, Li Na and Yang Yang, to do text-based duties. After some time, I was selected as the team leader. I thought to myself, “I’ve been doing text-based work for a long time, and now I’m the team leader, so I’ve got to cooperate with them so that we can do our duties well.” They were young, so I was often more tolerant toward them in daily life, and when I saw them encountering problems in the work or that they were unclear about certain principles, I would seek the truth with them to resolve these things. Li Na and Yang Yang both said that I was easy to get along with, patient, and responsible in my duties. I too felt I was capable of considering the overall work, and that I had patience, was loving, and that I had good humanity. At that time, everyone was very positive in their duties, and the work yielded some results. The supervisor also praised me, and I felt pleased, and thought that I had to do even better in the future.

Later, due to the increased workload and backlog of sermons, the supervisor arranged for Sister Wang Nan to cooperate with us on our duties. I noticed that Wang Nan was quite fast in both screening and writing sermons, and that my progress was slower than hers. I thought to myself, “If the supervisor sees that the progress of screening sermons has clearly sped up with Wang Nan’s arrival, will she think that my work capabilities are lacking, that I’m not as good as Wang Nan, or that I’m not doing actual work, and that this is the reason for the backlog of sermons? That won’t do, I’ve got to hurry to screen the sermons and not fall behind Wang Nan.” At that time, Yang Yang encountered some problems while screening the sermons, and I knew I should fellowship and help her, but I thought, “Solving Yang Yang’s problems would require helping her analyze the sermons and finding the relevant principles, and that would slow down my own progress in screening the sermons. Then the supervisor would say that I haven’t done as well as the new sister, even after doing my duties for such a long time. Forget it, I won’t worry about that for now.” So I didn’t inquire about Yang Yang’s difficulties. A few days later, I noticed that Yang Yang’s progress in screening the sermons was slow, and though I wanted to fellowship and help her, when I thought about the time and energy this would take, I kept quiet. One day, the supervisor said that Yang Yang should hand over some work to Li Na, and I saw that Yang Yang hadn’t explained things clearly, so I wanted to discuss the details with them, but I thought it would delay my reviewing the sermons, and anyway, since the supervisor hadn’t specifically assigned this task to me, I thought I’d better not ask about it and just focus on my own work. Later, Yang Yang and Li Na, whose work wasn’t producing good results, suggested we fellowship solutions together, but I didn’t want to participate in this because I felt it would cause delays, so I briefly shared some thoughts, and then quickly turned my attention back to my own work.

Later, the supervisor came to check on the work, and she saw that Li Na and Yang Yang were having difficulties and that the results of their duties had declined, and when the supervisor learned that I hadn’t been guiding or following up on the sisters’ work, she pruned me, saying, “You only do the work you’re responsible for, and you don’t care at all about the progress of the work of the sisters you’re cooperating with, you haven’t been fulfilling your responsibilities as a team leader at all!” Being pruned so suddenly like this was hard for me to accept, and I thought, “It’s not all my fault that their duties haven’t been yielding results, we divided up the work!” I felt a bit wronged. The supervisor read me a passage of God’s words, and that’s when I began to recognize my problems. God says: “Antichrists have no conscience, reason, or humanity. Not only are they heedless of shame, but they have another hallmark, too: They are uncommonly selfish and vile. The literal sense of their ‘selfishness and vileness’ is not hard to grasp: They are blind to anything but their own interests. Anything concerning their own interests gets their full attention, and they will suffer for it, pay a price, engross themselves in it, and devote themselves to it. Anything not related to their own interests they will turn a blind eye to and take no notice of; others can do as they please—antichrists don’t care if anyone is being disruptive or disturbing, and to them, this has nothing to do with them. Put tactfully, they mind their own business. But it is more accurate to say that this kind of person is vile, base, and sordid; we define them as ‘selfish and vile.’ How does the selfishness and vileness of the antichrists manifest itself? In anything that benefits their status or reputation, they make efforts to do or say whatever is necessary, and they willingly endure any suffering. But where work arranged by God’s house is concerned, or where work that benefits the life growth of God’s chosen people is concerned, they utterly ignore it. Even when evil people disrupt, disturb, and commit all kinds of evil, thereby seriously affecting the work of the church, they remain impassive and unconcerned, as if this has nothing to do with them. And if someone discovers and reports the evil deeds of an evil person, they say they saw nothing and feign ignorance. But if someone reports them and exposes that they don’t do real work and only pursue fame, gain, and status, they see red. Meetings are hurriedly convened to discuss how to respond, investigations are held to find out who went behind their back, who the ringleader was, and who was involved. They will not eat or sleep until they have gotten to the bottom of it and the matter has been completely put to rest—they will even only feel happy once they’ve taken down everyone who was involved in reporting them. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not? Are they doing church work? They are acting for the sake of their own power and status, pure and simple. They are running their own operation. Regardless of what work they undertake, antichrists never give any thought to the interests of the house of God. They only consider whether their own interests will be affected, only think about the little bit of work in front of them that benefits them. For them, the primary work of the church is just something they do in their spare time. They don’t take it seriously at all. They only move when they’re prodded into action, only do what they like to do, and only do work that is for the sake of maintaining their own status and power. In their eyes, any work arranged by God’s house, the work of spreading the gospel, and the life entry of God’s chosen people are not important. No matter what difficulties other people have in their work, what issues they have identified and reported to them, how sincere their words are, the antichrists pay no heed, they do not get involved, it’s as if this has nothing to do with them. No matter how major the problems emerging in the church’s work are, they are utterly indifferent. Even when a problem is right in front of them, they only address it perfunctorily. Only when they are directly pruned by the Above and ordered to sort out a problem will they grudgingly do a little real work and give the Above something to see; soon after, they will continue with their own business. When it comes to the work of the church, to the important things of the wider context, they are disinterested in and disregard these things. They even ignore the problems they discover, and they give perfunctory answers or hem and haw when asked about problems, only addressing them with great reluctance. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not? What’s more, no matter what duty antichrists are doing, all they think about is whether it will allow them to step into the limelight; as long as it will boost their reputation, they rack their brains to come up with a way to learn how to do it, to carry it out; all they care about is whether it will set them apart. No matter what they do or think, they are only concerned with their own fame, gain, and status. No matter what duty they are doing, they only compete over who is higher or lower, who wins and who loses, who has the bigger reputation. They only care about how many people worship and look up to them, how many people obey them, and how many followers they have. They never fellowship the truth or solve real problems. They never consider how to do things according to principle when doing their duty, nor do they reflect on whether they have been loyal, have fulfilled their responsibilities, whether there have been deviations or oversights in their work, or if any problems exist, much less do they give thought to what God asks, and what God’s intentions are. They pay not the slightest attention to all these things. They only put their head down and do things for the sake of fame, gain, and status, to satisfy their own ambitions and desires. This is the manifestation of selfishness and vileness, is it not?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). When I heard the words “selfish,” “vile,” and “sordid,” I felt as if my heart had been pierced, and only then did I realize that my behavior was just like that of an antichrist. Antichrists are willing to put in great effort, suffer, and pay a price for things related to their reputation and status, but when it comes to things unrelated to their interests, even if it harms the church’s work, they ignore it and turn a blind eye. They are truly selfish and vile. I remembered that initially, I was able to cooperate harmoniously with Li Na and Yang Yang, and whenever they had problems or difficulties, I would try my best to help and resolve them. But when the supervisor brought Wang Nan in, I became afraid that if I fell behind Wang Nan, the supervisor would say that I wasn’t as capable as her or that I wasn’t doing actual work. So, I stopped caring about my partnered sisters. When I saw Yang Yang facing difficulties at work, I didn’t want to bother helping her, thinking that this would waste my time, and I focused solely on my own work. The supervisor asked Yang Yang to hand over some work to Li Na, and though I saw that they hadn’t communicated properly and knew this would delay the work, I was afraid that fellowshipping the details of this with them would waste my time, so I chose to turn a blind eye and not get involved. I even found excuses to protect my personal interests, thinking that since the supervisor didn’t assign it to me, it wasn’t my responsibility. Later, Li Na’s work became ineffective, and she was living in difficulty, but I deliberately avoided fellowshipping with and helping her. Because I was so selfish, I didn’t help my partnered sisters and didn’t consider the overall work, which caused progress to be delayed. Though I seemed to be spending time and energy on the work, in reality, everything I was doing was to prevent my pride and status from being damaged. As a team leader, I should have been supervising and following up on each team member’s work progress, and if anyone was having difficulties or issues in their duties, I should have brought this up promptly and sought solutions with them based on the truth principles. But instead, I only cared about my own work and was only concerned with whether my reputation and status would be damaged. I didn’t consider the overall work at all, and I failed to fulfill the responsibilities of a team leader. I saw that I was truly vile and sordid, and that I was revealing the same disposition as an antichrist! Recognizing this, I felt that the supervisor pruning me was right, and that I had no grounds to feel wronged, and so I began to think about how to make up for the damage I’d caused to the work.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “Some people always boast that they possess good humanity, that they never speak ill of others, never harm anyone else’s interests, and they claim never to have coveted other people’s property. When there is a dispute over interests, they even prefer to suffer loss than take advantage of others, and everyone else thinks they are good people. However, when performing their duties in God’s house, they are wily and slippery, always scheming for themselves. Never do they think of the interests of God’s house, never do they treat as urgent the things God treats as urgent or think as God thinks, and never can they set aside their own interests so as to perform their duties. They never forsake their own interests. Even when they see evil people committing evil, they do not expose them; they have no principles whatsoever. What kind of humanity is this? It is not good humanity. Pay no attention to what such people say; you must see what they live out, what they reveal, and what their attitude is when they perform their duties, as well as what their internal state is and what they love. If their love of their own fame and gain exceeds their loyalty to God, if their love of their own fame and gain exceeds the interests of God’s house, or if their love of their own fame and gain exceeds the consideration they show for God, then are such people possessed of humanity? They are not people with humanity. Their behavior can be seen by others and by God. It is very difficult for such people to gain the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). After reading God’s words, I felt quite ashamed. In the past, I’d always thought I had good humanity because I was able to work harmoniously with my brothers and sisters and consider the overall work, and I was also able to help my brothers and sisters. But with the revelation of facts, I realized that I wasn’t a person with good humanity. I felt that Wang Nan’s arrival threatened my reputation and status, so in order to prevent the supervisor from saying that I wasn’t as good as Wang Nan, I focused all my attention on doing my own work well. When I saw that Yang Yang and Li Na were having difficulties in their work and needed help, I disregarded them. I thought that helping them would impact my work progress, so I just ignored them, and kept myself out of it. As a result, the work suffered losses. Only then did I realize that the reason I’d been able to help my sisters and consider the overall work before was because my reputation and status weren’t being involved. But now that my pride and status were at stake, my true face was exposed, and in order to protect my own reputation and status, I disregarded the church’s interests. In what way did I have good humanity! A person with truly good humanity has loyalty in their duty, and when the interests of God’s house conflict with personal interests, they can consider God’s intentions and put the interests of God’s house first. But as for me, when I saw the church’s work suffering losses, I was unwilling to set aside my personal interests to help my sisters. In what way did I have any humanity! Realizing this, I felt really guilty and prayed to God, “God, I realize I am truly selfish, and I am willing to change and cooperate harmoniously with my sisters. No matter who encounters problems in their duties, I am willing to seek the truth together with them to resolve the issues.” Moving forward, I actively asked Li Na and Yang Yang what problems they were having in their work, and if they raised any issues, we would fellowship and explore solutions together. After this, no matter how busy the work was, I would always find time to discuss work problems with my sisters, and together, we would fellowship paths by which to resolve these issues. Seeing the overall work gradually moving in a positive direction, we all felt quite happy.

After a while, the leader arranged for me and Sister Yang Zhen to cooperate on text-based duties. We would usually discuss the work together, but later, due to changes in the work, we divided up the responsibilities. Sometimes Yang Zhen needed to verify materials with brothers and sisters. During this time, the leader would send letters to inquire about her work, and the brothers and sisters would also send letters to ask her questions. These all needed prompt replies. At first, I was able to help with some of these tasks, but after a while, I thought to myself, “This is Yang Zhen’s responsibility. If I keep helping her, it’ll waste my time, and if the work I’m responsible for doesn’t yield results as good as Yang Zhen’s, what will the leader think of me? How would I be able to show my face again?” But then I remembered how I’d only focused on my own work and ignored my sisters’ work, causing the church’s work to suffer, and I knew I couldn’t do that again this time. I recalled a passage of God’s words: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words gave me a path of practice. Whether it’s the work Yang Zhen was responsible for, or the work that I was responsible for, it was all the work of the church, and I shouldn’t keep considering my pride and status. If Yang Zhen’s work was delayed, then the church’s interests would be damaged. I had to protect the overall work of the church. After this, when Yang Zhen was too busy, I would help her with some tasks, while at the same time, I would prioritize tasks and work according to urgency. When I practiced this way, I felt at ease.

In the past, I always thought I had good humanity, that I could suffer and pay a price in my duties, and that I could also cooperate harmoniously with my brothers and sisters. But after going through all this, I saw that I was really selfish, and that all my suffering and sacrifices were to protect my reputation and status. I thank God for the judgment and exposure of His words, which allowed me to know myself and make some changes.